tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80950728738477699322024-03-19T09:19:08.640+00:00Strictly Come BitchingTears, tantrums, sequins and stilettos. And that's just your editorial team.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger497125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-21183717347765308482021-09-25T18:00:00.001+01:002021-09-25T18:00:00.174+01:00Strictly Gone Bitching<p>Hello lovely readers,</p><p>After a great deal of consideration, Rad and I have decided that we won't be blogging <i>Strictly Come Dancing </i>this year. We've been writing these blogs for over a decade now and while we've had a great time doing it (and hopefully entertained some of you in the process), we've reached a point where we're not sure how much we have left to say about celebrities attempting to perform ballroom and latin dances. Plus, writing this blog is a fairly significant time commitment for both of us, and we're just finding it increasingly hard to fit it into our lives.</p><p>We'd like to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for reading these blogs and giving us a reason to carry on for as long as we did. We'll still be watching the show and tweeting along, so those of you who still care what we think about the show are always welcome to follow us and interact with us on Twitter (and I can't speak for Rad, but most of my recaps over the last few years have just ended up being slightly longer versions of my tweets from during the live show anyway). <i>[I'm rubbish on Twitter since I fucked up my arms but I'll do my best - Rad]</i></p><p>Thanks for being an incredibly loyal and supportive bunch - it really does mean a lot to us that people bothered to read our entirely unqualified thoughts on dancing every week for all this time.</p><p><i>Everything that Steve said is true from me, too. Plus I might be having a mild tantrum at Anton replacing Bruno. It's been a lot of fun doing these recaps and you guys have always been insightful and entertaining in the comments. Although I'm a bit sad not to be recapping this year, I won't miss Dragon mangling the names of all the new pro dancers, or trying to think of things to say about a boring Wednesday It Takes Two episode six weeks in.</i></p><p><i>*Brucie comes on to sweep us off the stage a la McFly*</i></p><p><i>Right, that's us then. </i></p><p><i>And remember.... Keeeep [snarking at] Dancing!</i></p>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-59387143332436912412020-12-20T21:31:00.001+00:002020-12-21T22:26:55.321+00:00Top of the Bill<div style="text-align: left;"><b>Week 9: The Final - 19 December 2020</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Well, in this strangest of years, we made it - COVID-19 might have crushed our plans to see our families this Christmas, but it couldn't stop the <i>Strictly Come Dancing </i>final. (Let's have a moment of appreciation for this year's finalists, not to mention the presenters, judges and the production team, since I'm sure at least some of them had their plans for Christmas whisked away a couple of hours before they went on air, and they still plastered on a smile and put on a show for us.) And it's a long one this year (145 minutes!), so make sure you're sitting comfortably and pray that my RSI doesn't kick in halfway through this recap.<span><a name='more'></a></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We open with a wistful montage of the finalists gathering in the studio (not all at the same time, obviously) to watch their very first Strictly interviews on the big screen. As my husband remarked, the echoiness of the dialogue does feel a bit like that moment two-thirds of the way through a horror film where everyone remarks on how happy they were, before the killing started. 2020, eh? (And while I'm doling out moments of appreciation, a big thank you to our readers who stuck with us through this year and gave Rad and me a reason to keep this blog going, because we came quite close to just not bothering.) The videos become a greatest hits package, and you can see the emotions on everybody's faces, and then we begin to hear their manifestos for tonight. Jamie says that in order to win the final, he and Karen need to give everything. Yes, bribery does seem like the only way it's realistically going to happen. Better dig into those biscuit coffers and make us an offer we cannot refuse! HRVY says he never thought he would make the finals (yeah right), and neither did Bill (more plausible), while Maisie reflects on what an emotional journey it has been. Maisie says that words cannot do this experience justice, while Jamie says that he has worked so hard to get here. HRVY says that lifting the glitterball would be the most incredible thing he's ever done, and Bill says it would be an amazing end to "this extraordinary dance odyssey". This. Is. The Final!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Special re-edited titles for the final with the four finalists at the end! Who's your "I will only remember this person was ever on the show when I have cause to check the Wikipedia entry" for this year, mine is Max. <i>[Same. And then when I remember him, I remember SIMPSONSDANCE so I think it's better he stays down the memory hole - Rad]</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We open with a pre-recorded pro dance to 'You Get What You Give' in which everyone has bursts of yellow energy flying out of their limbs. Anton always looks so uncomfortable in these uptempo numbers and he's at least a thousand years older than everyone else, when will he be put out to pasture? All credit to the editors for the exceptional smoothness with which the pre-recorded bit transitions into the liveness of the four finalists making their entry: no descending from the ceiling in giant boxes this year, just a catwalk down the centre of the dance floor in the following order: Bill, HRVY, Jamie, Maisie. Then the four finalists join their partners and take their places in very clearly marked spaces on the dance floor for a brief socially-distanced group dance.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Tess and Claudia arrive for the final time and both look fabulous - Tess is in an asymmetric silver sequinned dress, and Claudia is in a black strapless number with silver sparkles. I know there have been a few questionable outfits this year, but is it fair to say that on the whole it has been a very good year for these two, sartorially-speaking? (Also, much love to Claudia who seemed to be getting a lot of entirely unprovoked abuse on social media this week for having the nerve to write a book. The people calling her "talentless" were particularly baffling to me, but then I guess you don't appreciate how much skill it takes to present live television unless you've seen it done badly as many times as I have. You're talking to someone who watched the live final of <i>Britain's Next Top Model </i>here.) Claudia thanks the dancers for the opening number, and confirms that some of it was recorded earlier this year. Yeah, the bit with all the finalists! Rigged from the start!!!!111!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Claudia says that earlier this year we didn't even know if this series would be able to go ahead, and tonight the audience is made up of the brilliant team that made it possible. Aww. I've got a lump in my throat already. (If anyone from Team Strictly is reading this: thank you for everything you did, this show has been one of the very few bright spots in a very bleak year, and please know that any and all criticism came from a place of deep and appreciative affection.) Tess says that after another tough day, they're going to try to keep us entertained with another unforgettable night of dancing. Claudia reminds us that the class of 2020 are back, and performing one last group dance, while Tess singles out Nicola and Katya as making their post-COVID return. Also, Robbie Williams will be performing later, so there's your loo break right there.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Now here are the judges: Shirley resplendent in fuchsia, Motsi in silvery-white sequins very reminiscent of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ycLTwY_QlY">this</a>, and Craig in a white jacket for a bit of festive brightness. Claudia reminds us that the judges' scores are for guidance only tonight, as our votes alone will decide the winner. Speaking of which, here are our finalists: Maisie and Gorka, Jamie and Karen, HRVY and Janette, and Bill and Oti. Jamie does the Kevin Clifton memorial kick at the end of the music, except he's completely off-time, but bless him for trying.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We get a shot of the trophy (no touching, it will only have to be re-sanitised!) and Claudia explains that the first round is Judges' Choice, where they will pick a routine that they would like to see again. After round one, the lines will open and then we'll get the show dances, where there are absolutely no rules, and this is different from Couple's Choice for the simple reason that [come back and fill this bit in when I have an answer], and the final dance for each couple will be their own favourite routine of the series.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">HRVY & Janette - Judges' Choice</h4><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Tess informs us that the judges' did not take their decision lightly (unlike that year when they just went "sod it, everyone does their week one cha cha again") and met in a special location for a top-level summit. That location is the Gherkin (well, I guess since <i>The Apprentice </i>hasn't been using it...), and Craig opens with a bid for HRVY's Viennese waltz, which he loved the first time round but thinks could be worthy of a perfect score with a little more finessing. Shirley throws the tango into the mix, while Motsi pushes for the jive, because she wants to see how HRVY can improve on it with all the skills he's learned over the last nine weeks. A decision is made, and Motsi is dispatched to deliver the news: they will be doing the jive. HRVY is stoked because he loved this one, and it was very special because it was their first dance together. He hopes he can do it better than he did the first time.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So let's find out! I guess one of the problems with casting ringers is that there isn't always much scope to see a 'journey' when they re-do a routine that they already did really well the first time. It's fine, it's slick, it's definitely finessed, but it also feels a teensy bit mechanical. To me, he's dancing it like he knows he's got a long night ahead of him and doesn't want to peak too soon, which is absolutely fair enough, but what I wouldn't give for even the slightest bit of wild abandon in there. It's the final, live a little! Still, it's a strong opener for the show, let's hope the rest of the evening lives up to it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">HRVY tells Tess that he'll never forget this - he got to close the show in week one and now he's opening the final with the same dance. Tess notes that two of the judges were on their feet (no prizes for guessing which two), and Shirley opens the critiques by telling HRVY that he skyrocketed them up into the atmosphere with that dance - he's listened to Janette, he's improved from week one, it was amazing. Motsi says that she still believes this is one of the best dances they have ever seen, and this was the confirmation - she thought HRVY would be nervous, but he absolutely smashed it. Craig says that "in light of the recent news" he has decided to be positive tonight, and he really loved it - it was cleaner than last time and a lot more precise. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">HRVY and Janette bounce up to the Clauditorium, where Claudia says that they opened the final with the dance they did in week one, "which you also opened". No hon, they closed the show in week one - Jamie opened it. HRVY says it's weird being back in his little suit jacket, and Janette says his posture has improved - he's gotten taller. Claudia points out that the judges noted improvement in his performance, and HRVY says that's what he wanted to hear - Janette has worked so hard with him, and he wanted to make sure it was precise and on point. They got 25 for it the first time - let's see what the score is this time: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29. I love it in the final when people have to pretend to be excited for a 9 even when you know anything less than a 10 is basically a punch in the face. Claudia asks for a preview of his showdance, and HRVY reveals that he will be doing some lifts (in a Janette Manrara showdance? Well I never!) and a bit of salsa (ditto). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Jamie & Karen - Judges' Choice</h4><div><br /></div><div>Tess says that Jamie showed "real strength of character" in coming back week after week despite demonstrable lack of interest from the voting public. And sure, he took it like a champ, but also... he had to come back week after week? It's in his contract? Let's not go overboard. </div><div><br /></div><div>This time, Craig's opening gambit is a reprise of Jamie's charleston: he thinks Jamie was tense the first time around and he'd like to see him loosen up and get into it. Shirley would like to see his tango (is Shirley going to pick the tango for everyone tonight?) <i>[I wanna see Maisie's again. For everyone else, I'm good - Rad]</i> , because there's definitely room for improvement in his frame from the first time he did it. Motsi wants to see him do his jive again, because it's a chance to see his fun side (as opposed to his turtleneck-wearing, glasses-sporting, Plato-reciting serious side that we've seen so much of?) and to work on the technique (since two weeks ago? With two more dances to rehearse at the same time?). This time Shirley is the bearer of good news, and Craig got his way: Jamie will be doing his charleston. Jamie is very excited to get to do one of his favourite dances again, and Karen says the judges are expecting a full-on performance. Jamie says he has to bring together everything he learned and put it into the dance, to make it the best possible.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you've forgotten, this was his <i>Hercules</i>-themed routine from Movie Week, so Jamie has to do campy dress up in the final and - it's a fun routine, I'm not unhappy to see it again, but as a routine that's ostensibly supposed to make a case for Jamie as the overall winner of series 18, this doesn't really hit the mark for me. Especially given that (spoiler) his other two routines for tonight are showdance and Couple's Choice, I actually would have loved to see Shirley prevail in the Gherkin and make Jamie reprise his tango, so we'd have at least one of the traditional ten ballroom/latin dances from him tonight. (In all honesty, it is a bit of a tragic state of affairs that - spoiler alert - Maisie is the only dancer tonight doing two of the traditional ten.) Anyway, judging what's in front of me, Jamie's definitely more relaxed and confident at this point, but the swivel still isn't <i>quite </i>there, and I'm not sure that it's hugely improved on a technical level from the first time we saw it. Still: fun! <i>[Bless him, he's absolutely just there to make up numbers so he may as well just be fun even if on principle I'd have banned both him and Bill from Couple's Choice. Because I'd ban doing both Couple's Choice and Showdance. But here we are. - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Motsi tells Jamie that every time he comes back, he's stronger than before, and she thinks this was a huge improvement - he had his weight forward, and he was in sync with Karen this time. Craig agrees that it was freer and looser - he loved the barrel turn, which isn't easy. He's also very pleased to see Jamie's wig again, although Karen's is clearly the superior of the two. Shirley says that Jamie is an example for everybody out there - he never lets fear of failure stop him. Not to turn this into too much of a sociology essay, but I find that's often true of the independently wealthy. She thought he executed his arms well, and the characterisation was spot-on.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the Clauditorium, Jamie is giggling at the incomprehensibility of actually being in the final. Apparently Jamie promised to propose to his girlfriend if he made the final, which he is now regretting, since Claudia gives him the opportunity and he decides that a much better moment would be proposing to his girlfriend <i>after winning</i>. Nice backtrack, Mr Biscuits. The first time round, he got 23 for this, let's see how much improvement the judges spotted: Craig 8, Shirley 9, Motsi 9 for a total of 26. Spoiler: this is the only time Shirley and Motsi are going below a 10 all night. [<i>Tonight was the only night I didn't miss Bruno going on how he also has started to 10 everything in a final - Rad] </i>Jamie teases that his showdance will have a roly-poly, which he claims is much harder than it looks. Indeed, I believe there has been much discussion in <i>It Takes Two</i>'s Choreography Corner about the fact that the roly-poly is the hardest dance for a male celebrity.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Bill & Oti - Judges' Choice</h4><div><br /></div><div>Craig would love to see Bill's jive again, because he thinks he could really wow the crowd with it. Motsi thinks that BillBailey is great at telling a story, so she'd love to see his Argentine tango again. (I love the themes emerging from these chats: Shirley loves a tango, Motsi stans Musicals Week...) Shirley disagrees with both of them and wants to see his quickstep again, because there's so much scope for improvement in the rhythm area - he could get three 10s for it and make this a very close competition. Shirley is sent once again to deliver the verdict, and this time she triumphed: it is indeed the quickstep that Bill and Oti will reprise in the opening round. Bill's delighted, because this was his first ballroom dance, so it will always have a special place in his heart.</div><div><br /></div><div>This was, of course, the <i>Doctor Doolittle</i>-themed routine to 'Talk To The Animals', which I always think was their Movie Week routine even though it wasn't. I remember the absolute joy of seeing this routine for the first time and realising that Bill might be a legit contender for the win, and it's still every bit as delightful second time around. Again, I don't know if I'm seeing masses of improvement, but he's definitely lighter on his feet this time. <i>[Yeah, I don't know that anyone improved any of their dances but they were all enjoyable enough - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Craig says that Bill threw everything and more at that quickstep - "you've always been consistently good in this competition". You gave him a 3 in week one, Craig. Craig did notice Bill's shoulder creeping up occasionally but he's not going to talk about it, because this is Positive Sunshine Craig tonight. Shirley can't believe how Bill moves so lightly across the floor with beautiful soft knees. She says the upper body connection between Bill and Oti was fantastic, and Bill had the wingspan of an eagle - he's improved so much. Motsi says that the word that keeps coming back to her head is "ease" - Bill had such control over everything he did, from the acceleration to the deceleration. She feels like Bill enjoyed it even more this time, and Bill agrees that he did.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the Clauditorium, Bill says he loved this routine the first time they did - it's the essence of ballroom, whirling around the floor with a wonderful partner - but he's put everything that he's learnt into this reprise, because Oti has taught him more technique over the weeks. Claudia says that Bill has never had more than an 8 from Craig at any point in the competition (indeed, he's had an 8 from Craig every week since week 2), so let's see how that shakes out tonight: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29. It's Bill's highest score, which Bill declares is "not bad timing". Heh. Oti says she's so emotional, she was crying halfway through it. Bill says it's bittersweet because this is the last time he will dance the quickstep. As for their showdance, it will be "a bit of rock 'n' roll, a bit of circus, a bit of magic". Exciting!</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Maisie & Gorka - Judges' Choice</h4><div><br /></div><div>Over to the Gherkin for the final time, where Motsi would like to see Maisie's week one samba again - it's a physical dance, but a challenging one. Craig would like to see the cha cha cha again, because it would give Maisie a chance to get her feet turned in that little bit more. Also, it would mean Gorka had to wear those shorts again. Craig doesn't actually say this, but come on, we were all thinking it. Shirley want to see the American smooth, which would be a challenge for her. Craig heads off in a natty parka to deliver the verdict, and tells them that the judges have decided on the samba. Maisie and Gorka are thrilled because they loved this one. Maisie says there's more pressure this time round - the judges picked this because they want to see improvement, so she has to deliver it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Remember when HRVY danced earlier and I said I just wanted to feel a bit more of that sense of wild abandon? That's what Maisie's giving here - she's still dancing it brilliantly, I can't really find anything to fault about it technically, but she's also just <i>performing</i> like it's her last night on Earth. Maybe she knows she's probably not winning and just wanted to have fun? Either way, this is the top dance of round one for me just because it delivers both technically and performance-wise. Also Gorka is wearing very tight trousers. What? I'm only human.</div><div><br /></div><div>Shirley tells Maisie it was "absolutely exceptional" - it was scintillating and sensual, with beautiful awareness of her partner, and the feet were fantastic. She says "you danced to express yourself, not to impress anybody else", which I think is the point I was trying to make in the previous paragraph, only expressed far more elegantly. This is why Shirley earns the big bucks and I'm sat here the Sunday before Christmas writing this for free. Motsi says that all her words have disappeared and she is just left with a feeling - Maisie is a changed woman, and she loved how she played around with the routine. Craig says he "rather liked that", and Maisie has been faced with a lot of challenges over the course of the series but she danced that "in a very smashing way".</div><div><br /></div><div>In the Clauditorium, Maisie's a little bit emotional - she says she's never danced like that, and before they went on Gorka told her to just go for it, and she did. Claudia asks her what it was like going back to the dance she did in the very first week, and Maisie admits that it had all flown right out of her head - everything she thought she knew about the choreography was wrong. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29. Maisie says that her showdance is "Christmas in a dance" - it's "the Christmas that we might potentially not be able to have" and she hopes it's going to make everyone feel Christmassy. As someone who is currently making frantic preparations for a Christmas at home that I was very much not planning, this hit home. Also, is Gorka going to be able to get back to Gemma and Mia for Christmas? I hope there's some sort of special exception to allow him to get back after everything he's sacrificed for this show this year. <i>[I did see Graziano being sad the other day that he couldn't get home, and I do feel for him, not least as he and the other non-partnered pros haven't even been able to compete. Bless. Fortunately for me I was preparing to do Christmas at home anyway just in case which is good cos I'm now having to self-isolate, boo - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Round 1 Leaderboard</h4><div><br /></div><div>1=. HRVY & Janette - 29</div><div>1=. Bill & Oti - 29</div><div>1=. Maisie & Gorka - 29</div><div>4. Jamie & Karen - 26</div><div><br /></div><div>Quite a clear message there, I suppose. Time for the terms and conditions, read by Joanna Page, one of the few people who I have forgiven for <i>Gavin And Stacey</i>. Oh, and the vote is now open! Except not <i>now</i>, obviously, it's closed now.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">HRVY & Janette - Showdance</h4><div><br /></div><div>Janette explains that their showdance has a theme of a music festival, one of the many things we have been denied this year. HRVY says that he grew up going to festivals and they always meant so much to him because the atmosphere is electric. Janette says that they'll be doing a bit of charleston, a bit of salsa, a bit of commercial, and if one little bit of this routine goes awry, it can throw everything off. HRVY says there are some intense lifts that require a lot of strength - he never thought he'd be in the final doing this much complicated choreography. Janette says she is pushing HRVY to the max in this showdance - she's going to get every inch of dance out of him that she can. HRVY says it needs to be better than any other dance they've ever done. Tess and Claudia arrive in the studio for their sneak preview of the showdance (from a safe distance) - Janette says that she's been planning it for eight years because it's her first chance to do one. HRVY says they're so close to the glitterball - he just has to make sure the pressure doesn't get to him.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to 'Boogie Wonderland' (I almost typoed 'Booger Wonderland' there, lol oops) and it's very much a Janette Manrara frantic latin showcase - she does that iconic move from her salsa with Jake where she does a backbend right now onto HRVY's foot and while it's still absolutely impressive, it's also a bit "yes, we've seen this before". There are a lot of spectacular lifts and the two of them are admirably in sync throughout, and yet it feels a bit... empty? Like it's just a lot of admittedly very skilful tricks in quick succession, but personally speaking, it doesn't really leave much of an emotional impact. As a showcase of ability, it's great, but as a chance to leave a lasting impression of HRVY as one of the all-time greats ever to take part in this show, I'm not sure it fully hit the mark. Still, Aljaž is ever so proud and wiping tears from his eyes, and who am I to fly in the face of that?</div><div><br /></div><div>Motsi says that the isolations, the movement and the speed were incredible, and this is the best final she's ever been in. Craig says it could have done with a bit more hip in the salsa section, and everyone boos. But he thought the lifts were strong and HRVY did a great job with the changes of rhythm. Shirley congratulates Janette on making her first final, and tells her she "squeezed every last drop of anything to do with dance out of this young man". And of course Shirley loved the pot-stirrer, as we all knew she would. </div><div><br /></div><div>In the Clauditorium, HRVY says he never thought he'd make it this far because he almost didn't make it onto the show at all (presumably a reference to when he tested positive for COVID-19 during the run-up to the launch), and this has been such a bad year for everyone, but dancing with Janette has made his year. Janette thanks Lukas McFarlane who helped with the choreography, and there's a special message from HRVY's GRNDPRNTS - it's their diamond wedding anniversary today. HRVY tells them that if he wins, he'll give them the trophy to put above the fireplace. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29. Claudia asks HRVY what he would like to say to Janette: he says she's the most incredible human being he's ever met, she's so talented, and he's so happy to be here with her in the final because she deserves it. Janette cries.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Jamie & Karen - Showdance</h4><div><br /></div><div>Karen tells Jamie that the story is their story, which is "being in the dance-off a lot". Jamie double-checks with her that there is no dance-off in the final. Imagine if there was! Like, we got to vote for our favourites, then the top two danced again and the judges picked the winner? Imagine the <i>carnage</i>. They're dancing to 'I'm Still Standing', because despite everything, they are still standing. Karen says it's a mishmash of everything they've done - a bit of jive, a bit of lindyhop, a bit of street dance, no apparent ballroom to speak of. Jamie says this is their last chance to create a new dance on <i>Strictly</i>, so he feels a lot of pressure. Karen says they have a lot to worry about - if one of them misses a step, it could completely tank the whole thing. Tess and Claudia turn up for their advance preview, and Claudia says that Jamie is "like a puppy, but who can dance". Tess says it was like the story of their time on <i>Strictly</i>, because she read her briefing notes.</div><div><br /></div><div>So here we go: it opens with Jamie and Karen bathed in red light and looking very sad, before Jamie is raised up into the air on wires and flies towards the camera. I'm <i>dying</i>. Of course, there's an extended spotlight section on Karen so that Jamie has time to remove the harness, and then we get into the meat and potatoes, which is a huge hodgepodge of dance styles from the jive to the monkey. Claudia was right, it is very puppyish (a less charitable person than me might say that specifically that puppy is Scrappy-Doo) but there's something quite endearing about the self-aware campiness of it. I think the cartwheel and the roly-poly should have been cut in previews, though. <i>[It's fun, they know they're losing, they might as well just be fully daft, I guess. Kind of enjoyed it more than HRVY's for that reason alone - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Craig says that was a bit of an aerobic workout and he had visions of Ann Widdecombe when Jamie was in the harness, but thankfully Jamie danced up a storm when he landed unlike a certain Tory rentagob. Shirley says that she's never doubted Jamie, and he dances from his heart - she loved the concept and Jamie danced unbelievably well. Motsi says that she loves that Jamie is such a role model with his fightback energy - he never looks sorry, he just looks happy and celebratory.</div><div><br /></div><div>Arriving in the Clauditorium, Karen says she knows that Jamie has a fight in him and fire in his belly, and that's what he showed out there. Jamie says that if they had to do one more dance, they had to do a dance-off as part of it. There's a message from Jamie's sister Emily, saying that it's amazing he's in the final and he's come so far, she's behind him all the way, and also asking him to give Giovanni her number. The whole studio erupts in howls of laughter, and honestly I feel like Jamie justified his presence in the final in that moment. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29. Claudia asks Jamie to say a few words to Karen, and he says that when you get knocked down, you want people like Karen in your life that can bring you back up. Karen is brilliant, and incredible, and an amazing person and he feels like he's seen the real Karen - whatever that means.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Bill & Oti - Showdance</h4><div><br /></div><div>Bill explains that their showdance has an intense, dramatic, brooding feel to it with elements of paso and tango, but also a bit of a street dance feel to it too. He points out that there are a few things that could go wrong in this dance - himself, first and foremost. Oti frets that he could drop her. Bill says that Oti flies through the air at him and he has to catch her in the right way and perform a lift. Bill takes a tumble in rehearsals, right before the moment when he has to catch Oti, which worries both of them - Oti says that if he drops her it will be very painful "for me and my head". Ow. Bill says it's their showpiece and they want to give it the best that they can. Tess and Claudia love their preview of it, and Claudia declares it "pure rock and roll". Bill says that the rehearsal has given him some confidence.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to 'The Show Must Go On' and Bill is playing a Las Vegas illusionist. The whole thing is very dark and brooding but also, again, quite camp. There's a definite paso influence to it but also a fair bit of street, and I'm pleased to report that the much-feared lift goes off without a hitch. Also, Bill gets his guitar out and fireworks explode out the end of it while Oti flies into the air on a circus hoop, spinning around and around and around! Now that's a showdance. <i>[I mean, it was pretty much all paso, so from the POV of variety and technique - eh, not great, but from an entertainment/spectacle standpoint, it was really dramatic and fun - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Shirley says it gave her everything from stillness to drama, and that Bill dances because he loves how it feels to move his body to music. It was very intense, and Bill is a sensation - for a 55-year-old man to deliver like that makes him an icon in her book. Motsi thinks she stopped breathing while she was watching that - it was a completely different mood to his quickstep and it felt like she was watching live theatre. She thinks that Bill becomes the dance, and it was amazing. Craig says that it reeked of desperation and Bill should be committed - he <i>loved </i>it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Bill & Oti sprint up to the Clauditorium and Claudia asks Bill how worried he was. Bill says there was a lot going on, but primarily he was worried about losing his plectrum. Hee. There's a very special message for him from Queen - Brian May says he doesn't need to wish him luck because it's in the bag, and Roger Taylor says that he always knew he was a genius at comedy and music, but he never imagined Bill would entrance the nation with his dancing. Claudia says that this dance was a rally call, and Bill says that from what we've found out today, people are going to be isolated at Christmas, this isn't just a song about the arts, but it's a song about not giving up, keeping hope, and getting through this - it's about being strong. Scores: Craig 10, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 30. Bill and Oti's reactions to Craig's 10 are quite something, but Shirley's is <i>the best</i>. Claudia asks Bill to pay tribute to Oti, and Oti is already crying. Bill says that Oti is a spectacular dancer and a wonderful choreographer, but she's also a beautiful soul who found something in him that he didn't know existed and he'll always be grateful for that.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Maisie & Gorka - Showdance</h4><div><br /></div><div>Maisie says that her showdance is feelgood, happy and high-energy. Gorka says it will be an amazing explosion of dance and happiness, and a tribute to the golden era of Hollywood - yep, it's Fred and Giiiinge. They are pushing themselves to the limit with a lot of lifts, but there is one in particular where Maisie has to do a fall into his arms from an upper level and trust that he will catch her. Maisie hopes that everyone will enjoy this dance as much as she does, because it's so liberating, and she wants this dance to be the cherry on the top of the most wonderful experience she's ever had. Tess and Claudia come to watch it, and Tess goes full Morgan McMichaels "is she really going to jump from there" in response. Maisie wraps up by saying she wants it to just be the best dance. So let's see!</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to 'We Need A Little Christmas' (sidebar: if you've never watched <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLv-ffzW_Co">this</a> classic <i>Crossroads </i>clip, please do so now before you go any further) and it really is classic Hollywood: light, crisp, bouncy and bringing effortless joy (insert joke about Gorka's bum here). And credit to Maisie - for all the stick she got about being a megaringer (criticism that HRVY somehow avoided despite starting at pretty much the exact same level as Maisie) <i>[See also Joe McFadden vs Alexandra/Debbie. I'm not saying there's an obvious theme here, but... - Rad]</i>, she really has improved her ballroom a lot since those early weeks and it's on full display here. The fall into Gorka's arms is executed perfectly, and the whole thing just demonstrates what a great partnership they've become. Again, if you're asking me who won each round (and I'm well aware that you are not), then I'm giving this one to Maisie too. <i>[This was easily my favourite. It reminded me of Ore's showdance. Come to think of it, Ore's might have been the last one I genuinely enjoyed for both dancing and performance until this one. And it was the only time all series I thought Maisie might actually have a chance - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Motsi says it was content of the highest quality - tap, jazz, musical, character - and Maisie is having an amazing night, so she's going to call her Amazing Maisie. Craig says it was annoying, because he couldn't find anything wrong with it. Shirley says that Maisie is shining bright like the angel on the tree, and she loved everything about it - it was exceptional. </div><div><br /></div><div>Maisie squeals "that was so much fun!" as they run up to the Clauditorium, and Claudia is breathless at the fall-lift, and Maisie giggles that she was told to close her eyes when she did it, which just makes it worse. Gorka says he is grateful it all went to plan. Claudia says that Maisie's mum said on <i>It Takes Two </i>that over the course of this competition she's watched her grow from a nervous teenager into a confident woman, and Maisie gets a little bit tearful as she says that her mum knows her inside out, and knows that she can be very shy - this experience has been short, but she feels like she's grown and it means a lot to her that her mum's noticed. (I hope Maisie gets to see her family at Christmas too? God, I'm so emotionally invested in all of these people, what has happened to me.) There's a message from Maisie's on-screen big sister Shona McGarty, who says she's watched her blossom into a beautiful and talented young lady, and she is incredibly proud of her. Maisie cries a bit more, and the scores come in: 10s all round for a perfect 30. Claudia asks Maisie what she'd like to say to Gorka, and Maisie chokes up a bit again and tells him that he's so caring and the most incredible friend - he always knows how to make her smile whenever she feels down, and that will stay in her heart forever. Goddammit, there's something in my eye.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Rounds 1 & 2 Leaderboard</h4><div><br /></div><div>1=. Bill & Oti - 29 + 30 = 59</div><div>1=. Maisie & Gorka - 29 + 30 = 59</div><div>3. HRVY & Janette - 29 + 29 = 58</div><div>4. Jamie & Karen - 26 + 29 = 55</div><div><br /></div><div>So a slight slip for HRVY, but otherwise largely unchanged. The terms and conditions get read for a second time, this time by Elizabeth Hurley, who's giving very "reading the scores of the UK jury at Eurovision in 1973" energy throughout. Claudia points out afterwards that Elizabeth's height would work very well with Johannes, and asks her to consider that as a possible future opportunity. I would be <i>extremely </i>here for that, yes. <i>[Yes. Lock it in now, producers.- Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">HRVY & Janette - Favourite Dance</h4><div><br /></div><div>Final round, here we go! HRVY says that <i>Strictly</i> has been one of the best things he's ever done, and getting this far is unbelievable. Janette says HRVY is one of the most naturally gifted individuals she has ever met, and you know Janette has had a few ringers in her time. They have picked the American smooth to reprise, because it just felt like "perfect <i>Strictly</i> magic" the last time - Motsi even went so far as to call it the dance of the season. HRVY says he didn't think it could go better than it did last time - but it will have to. He pays tribute to Janette, who is both an amazing dancer and an amazing human being, who has made sure he doesn't doubt himself. They both say they're going to miss each other, and Janette says she's going to miss HRVY because he brought out a side of her that she hasn't seen in a long time - he was really inspiring. (Then again, as soon as this series is over she's going to run into Aljaž's arms and they're going to have that three-day sex marathon that the tabloids were talking about, so she probably isn't going to miss HRVY <i>that </i>much.) HRVY says that Janette has been the best partner ever, and he can't wait to dance with her for the last time. In a nice way.</div><div><br /></div><div>So this, of course, was their <i>A Chorus Line</i> routine from Musicals Week. I mentioned earlier that I felt like HRVY was holding back a little, but right now, I think he's giving it everything for that final push - there wasn't much improvement needed from last time on a technical level but I think he's just giving it a bit more <i>oomph</i> on the performance front and it's making all the difference. Like Maisie and Gorka's showdance, this is a routine that just showcases these two as a couple and how well they work together brilliantly, and it's a great note to bring his time on <i>Strictly </i>to a close. I don't think it's quite enough to propel him to the win over Bill, but I think he can leave with his head held high. <i>[I've never been that enamoured with HRVY, I don't dislike him, but I've found it hard to get passionate about him. This routine though? Easily one of the best of the series, and probably one of the best American Smooths ever - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Motsi caught HRVY's hat when he lobbed it offstage (not sure that's COVID-secure) and is now wearing it on her head, Shirley is on her feet in tears, and Craig? Craig has just one word to say: <i>fab-yew-lous</i>. Shirley says she has waited four years to be able to use this quote, the seven Ps - not the one about "piss-poor performance" but "practice and perseverance of postural principles promises physical perfection". She says he is everything that this show is about, and he's given it his all. Motsi says it's no longer just the dance of the series, it's the dance of the decade (the decade that's only 11 and a half months old?) - she feels that HRVY gave every single cell of his body to the dance, and thanks him for the hat too. Heh. </div><div><br /></div><div>They head up to the Clauditorium for the final time, and HRVY's bowtie has gone a bit skew-whiff. He can't believe he's crying on national TV, but he was just in every second of it. Janette thanks the cast for all their support in place of an actual audience. HRVY says that when he first came to <i>Strictly </i>he wasn't planning on embracing the sparkles and wanted to keep it cool, but look at him now. He thanks everyone on the production team for everything they did to get the series up and running this year, and then we have HRVY's final set of scores: triples 10s for a perfect 30. Claudia tells Janette that Aljaž is crying just as much as she is. HRVY says Janette deserves the win so much - it would be great for her to win it her first time in the final.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Jamie & Karen - Favourite Dance</h4><div><br /></div><div>Jamie says that being a part of <i>Strictly Come Dancing </i>is one of the most magical things he has ever done, and if someone asks him, "did you complete <i>Strictly</i>?", he'll be able to say yes. Okay, but I guarantee you literally nobody has ever asked that question of another person. He says that he and Karen have experienced every part of the journey - they've been at the top of the leaderboard and the bottom of the leaderboard, and they've been in the dance-off - and the tough thing is when you've practised a routine all week and you just don't want to let your partner down. He says that Karen is special, and Karen says that Jamie is a fighter who comes in bouncing with energy. They have fun together and they laugh a lot. Jamie says he couldn't wish for a better experience on <i>Strictly Come Dancing</i> - well, he could probably wish to not be in the dance-off quite as much. They're picked their Couple's Choice for their last-ever dance, and Karen gets a bit teary-eyed in rehearsals as she tells Jamie how proud she is of him. </div><div><br /></div><div>So this is their street/commercial routine to 'Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)' by C+C Music Factory and, not that I think Jamie was ever in with much of a shot of winning this, but I think even if he was, the fact that all three of his dances tonight have been variations on the same theme hasn't done him any favours. There's been no real opportunity anywhere in these three routines to show how he has matured or gained precision as a ballroom or latin dancer - it's just all jumping around and mugging to the camera. It's been fun, I've enjoyed his personality more than I ever expected to (certainly more than I expected to after <a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2019/09/so-laing-hello-and-farewell.html">last year's launch show</a>), but I've seen nothing in this that convinces me he finished anywhere other than fourth. <i>[Eh, I liked this one both times - in as much as it's acceptable to like Couple's Choice at all - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Shirley tells Jamie that she will carry his joy of dance in her heart forever, and he was absolutely sensational. Motsi says that this was Jamie's personal best dance in the whole series, and the energy was so well-fitted to the music. Craig says that that is the dance that Jamie will be remembered by, which I guess counts as both praise and criticism depending on how you look at it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Jamie and Karen have their final chat with Claudia and I want to pay attention to what they're saying but I'm mostly just transfixed by Karen's abs. <i>Damn</i>. Jamie says it was really emotional because he put so much into it, and it's so brilliant to share a dancefloor with all those amazing people. Claudia reminds us that Jamie missed out on competing in the show last year, and asks how he feels about finally having done it, and he says that he has no idea what his experience last year would have been like, but this experience has been magical. Do we think Jamie would have made the final last year? I'm inclined to say no, but then I didn't think he would make the final this year and look what happened. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29. I don't mean to be unkind but I'm glad that Craig never cracked and gave Jamie a 10 - he's a nice enough lad but none of his dances were ever perfect. Claudia asks Jamie what it would mean for him to win, and he says it's like thinking about space - he can't comprehend it. </div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Bill & Oti - Favourite Dance</h4><div><br /></div><div>Tess introduces this by saying that it's not just Bill and Oti's favourite dance but also a series highlight for so many people, and on one hand that feels a bit "objection, Your Honour, leading!" but also - well, she's not saying anything untrue, is she? And I don't think Bill actually needs the show rigged in his favour at this point. In his VT, Bill says it has been an extraordinary experience, and he's found something in himself that he didn't think he had. Oti says that dancing with Mr Bill Bailey has been an adventure, and she doesn't think anybody expected this when they first met. They have picked their Couple's Choice routine to 'Rapper's Delight' - the only acceptable Couple's Choice routine tbh - because it was the point that Bill really felt able to let loose. He says that Oti has been a key element in this - they have formed a friendship that Bill thinks will continue beyond this show. Oti says there is something about Bill that can't be bought - he has star quality that just comes on when the light goes on. She says she doesn't want the experience to end, and Bill says that he's very grateful for all of her efforts. Oti says she isn't just proud of Bill - she's a big fan of his, he's become a dancer.</div><div><br /></div><div>What is there to say about this routine that hasn't already been said? It's almost certainly <i>the </i>moment of the series, and there's just so much joy oozing out of it. And what I love about it is the ease and effortlessness of the performance - it's not an easy routine, but they make it look like one. I know I've said this a lot tonight about pretty much every couple, but these two just work so well as a partnership, and I don't think they ever clicked better than they did right here. </div><div><br /></div><div>Motsi says that the first time she saw this dance, she was on the couch, so she's glad she got to see it in real life. She says that Bill has an ease of movement and star quality. Craig says that Bill popped and locked and rocked. Shirley says that Bill is a performer of the highest quality - he's sensational.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the Clauditorium, Bill says that was definitely their favourite dance of the series - it was about freedom, and it shows how liberating dance can be. Claudia asks if they ever imagined doing this again in the final, and Bill says he's thrilled to be here because he gets to do these dances again, and he feels like he's doing justice to Oti and her wonderful teaching. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29. Claudia asks Bill what it would mean to him and his family to win, and Bill says it would mean a huge amount to him and to Oti, but it would mean a lot to his family and friends, and everyone that has supported him along the way. What a gent.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Maisie & Gorka - Favourite Dance</h4><div><br /></div><div>Maisie says that <i>Strictly </i>has changed her life - she's learned so much about herself, and she wouldn't change a single second of it. She says she's never believed in herself as much as she has now - being in the bottom two knocked her confidence, but Gorka was her rock because he believed in her the whole time. Gorka says that dancing with Maisie has been a joy, because she's so happy, positive and talented. Maisie thanks Gorka for making this experience everything it could possibly be, because he's a great partner and a wonderful friend. She never expected to see so much support and love from so many people - her mum messages her every day to say she's proud of her - and Maisie gets all teared up just saying it. Maisie's favourite dance of the whole series was the quickstep, because it's the happiest she's ever been. Gorka tells her she's grown so much as a person, and now everyone has seen the real Maisie. Maisie tells him he's been a good friend, and they hug. No, shut up, <i>you're </i>crying, I'm just chopping onions for a lasagne I'm cooking after this.</div><div><br /></div><div>They repeat their quickstep to 'When You're Smiling', and this is such a lovely dance to end both the night and the series on, because Maisie dances it absolutely exquisitely. It's another reminder of just how much she's grown as a ballroom dancer across the series - you can see Gorka beaming with pride throughout, and the way they just collapse on each other at the end, with absolutely nothing left in the tank, is truly a thing to behold. <i>[My fave dance of this series - can't believe Craig did a big old meeeen and didn't 10 it, especially given the utter mess of her couple's choice last week getting 30 - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Craig says it was terrific and he doesn't want the dancing to end - he loved that, and he's sad that this is the last dance of the series. Shirley says this has been the most difficult series, because everyone has been so sensational, but she's going to nickname Maisie "Little Happy Feet", because her footwork was just beautiful and she had the most amazing glide in her stride. Motsi says the first time she saw Maisie, she saw she was a raw diamond - and now she's a shining diamond. Whatever happens, Motsi wants her to take everything she has learned on this show and shine bright. Motsi says she wants to congratulate the whole cast and everybody behind the cameras, because it took so much to put the show together this year - she gets to her feet and leads everyone in a well-earned standing ovation.</div><div><br /></div><div>Claudia asks Maisie if she's amazed at herself, and Maisie says she never thought she could do this - she was so scared to join the show, but Gorka's helped her so much and she's so proud of herself. Gorka says Maisie impressed him from day one - she worked so hard every day, and was always willing to improve and impress everyone. He's incredibly proud of her - whatever happens happens, but Maisie is his winner. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29. Oh, boo. That deserved a 30 way more than her Couple's Choice did last week. Claudia asks Maisie what it would mean to win, and Maisie said she never intended to make the final, she just wanted to push herself - but she'd love to win it for Gorka, and it's been a gift that holds incredible memories for her.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Final Leaderboard</h4><div><br /></div><div>1=. HRVY & Janette - 29 + 29 + 30 = 88</div><div>1=. Bill & Oti - 29 + 30 + 29 = 88</div><div>1=. Maisie & Gorka - 29 + 30 + 29 = 88</div><div>4. Jamie & Karen - 26 + 29 + 29 = 84</div><div><br /></div><div>So essentially right back where we were at the end of round one. Good to know.</div><div><br /></div><div>We go over to Bruno, who has a message for everyone which was absolutely in no way recorded ahead of the show without seeing a moment of this broadcast. Then again, I'm not entirely convinced Bruno pays that much attention even when he's present in the studio, so has anything really changed?</div><div><br /></div><div>And with the final terms and conditions of the series: Sir Paul McCartney and Idris Elba. Judging by the reaction on Twitter, this came as quiet the surprise to the people who weren't aware they'd <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000qptf/idris-elba-meets-paul-mccartney">made a TV show together</a>. Paul has a bit of a stumble over the web address, but then, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_is_dead">he has been dead for 54 years</a>, what do you expect?</div><div><br /></div><div>After that, we have a reminder of all 12 performances from tonight, and I am absolutely not recapping them again, sorry, there's less than half an hour of this show to go and I'm still hoping to fit in a nice hot bath at some point.</div><div><br /></div><div>What's next? Why, it's the triumphant return of Nicola and Katya, dancing to 'Feeling Good'. It's a showdance of sorts, with paso and Argentine tango elements, and it seems to be a lot of Katya dancing and not quite so much of Nicola dancing. Still, I'm glad they got a chance to come back and put a proper coda on their <i>Strictly </i>story.</div><div><br /></div><div>Following that is a trailer for this year's Christmas special, which is not a conventional Christmas special but a countdown of the best dances ever. Well, the best dances as selected by the production team and placed into order by voters, which is almost the same thing.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then, it's time for Robbie Williams who is - mercifully - not singing his Covid Christmas song but singing last year's Christmas single 'Time For Change'. I don't know who had a quiet word in his ear about picking this one rather than the new material, but I thank them. Oh, and Neil, Nancy, Graziano and Nadiya get to do some lovely dancing. Can Nadiya and Nancy get decent partners next year please? Or at the very least, can Nancy <i>get </i>a partner? <i>[Yeah, partners for them all, I'll even allow Graziano and Neil a second chance. I have felt so sorry for them this year - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Claudia thanks us all for voting, but confirms the vote is now closed. While it's being counted and independently verified, we have a moment to look back at the cast of 2020 - all of whom have had a chance to film a VT talking about their experiences on the show. For Clara, it was everything and nothing like she expected. Caroline says it was a unique experience, and JJ says it was the amazing challenge he signed up for. Jason says he knew it would be a great experience, but he didn't realise just how much that would be true, and Max adds that it exceeded his expectations. Nicola says it was scary but also exciting, and Ranvir adds that it was surprising and magical. Jacqui says it was "such a brilliant adventure". Caroline says that every fibre of her being fell in love with Johannes when they first met, and she's been that way ever since. Clara says that meeting Aljaž at Radio 1 was one of her favourite memories, and Ranvir says that when she first met Giovanni, she had no idea what would unfold. No, not <i>that</i>. Honestly, get your minds out of the gutter! Clara says her first week of training was an education, and JJ says it was physically, mentally, emotionally battering. Nicola found it hard being light and delicate on her feet, and Max says he expected a step out of his comfort zone but this was a long jump. He doesn't think he breathed at all during the first live show, and Ranvir still can't get over getting to do a paso doble to Beyoncé in a red dress. Jacqui was terrified but she absolutely loved it, and Max says his highlight was getting to do the floppy fish in SIMPSONSDANCE. Clara remembers squealing at the prospect of descending from the ceiling in a giant heart, and Caroline has fond memories of Jason Bell crawling towards her on his knees. Jason loved doing the paso because it was really challenging, and Nicola really felt like a dancer when she did her Couple's Choice. JJ didn't anticipate the joy of dancing, and Max says he doesn't feel so nervous now in a group environment, and he's never had that. Weren't you literally in a boyband? Caroline says it's important to carry on learning throughout your life, and she has learnt five different dance styles. Jason says he will carry it with him for the rest of his life. Then they all have to sum up their experience in one word, and it is as follows: unbelievable (Jacqui), epic (JJ), boom (Nicola), sensational (Ranvir), fabulous (Max). I guess I shall go to my grave not knowing which words the other three picked.</div><div><br /></div><div>We're back in the studio for one final, carefully socially-distanced group dance to 'All I Want For Christmas Is You'. Max and Dianne get to do a bit of SIMPSONSDANCE again, Nicola and Katya get to run around with giant flags again, and Clara and Aljaž get to do some charleston again. Then the music switches to 'Sweet Caroline' as JJ and Amy, Jason and Luba, Ranvir and Giovanni and (of course) Caroline and Johannes take their respective final sweeps. I must say this has all been very cleverly blocked to allow everyone a chance to dance together, while apart. It ends with 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life' with everyone doing feather-fan dances with Jacqui and Anton at the centre, and if nothing else it's a bold creative decision to allow your first boot and worst dancer to lead the closing moments of the final number.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tess and Claudia have a few more thankyous that they want to say: first to the production team who have gone above and beyond to make the show happen this year, and second to all of us for viewing, because while the show has been a little bit different this year, they're so grateful for our support. And that segues into a virtual vox pop of what the show has meant to people this year: mostly people assumed it wouldn't happen, and when they found out it was going ahead, they were all very excited. The Duchess of Cornwall makes an appearance to say that it lifted the whole country's spirits, and she's very excited for the final - she knows who she'll be voting for. She'd like to say thank you to everyone who has been involved in it this particularly difficult year for uplifting the nation. People express their appreciation for Tess and Claudia, others are curiously non-committal about SIMPSONSDANCE, and there is more love for the 'Rapper's Delight' routine. Some people were sad to see Caroline go out so soon, others are impressed with Maisie for coming back strong after two successive week in the bottom two. HRVY and Janette's Musicals Week number was also a big favourite. People talk about how <i>Strictly </i>helped to get them through a frankly quite shitty year, and it really hits home. Thank goodness we've only got a week to go until <i>The Masked Singer </i>returns, that's all I can say. <i>[Oh yay, the one reason ITV is still useful! - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Now it's the moment we've all been waiting for - it's time to find out who will be the <i>Strictly Come Dancing</i> champions of 2020. The winners are... Bill and Oti! Bill is frozen in shock and Oti screams in disbelief. It's clearly a very popular outcome in the room too. Motsi is in tears, Oti's in tears, I'm in tears, you're in tears. Bill and Oti are jumping up and down, and Bill says it feels extraordinary but wonderful - he never thought they would get this far, but he had the most extraordinary teacher (Oti is full-on sobbing still and so is Motsi) and she believed in him right from the beginning. Oti says that Bill is amazing - he put his heart and soul into everything, and she loves his world and she always wants to be a part of it. She thanks him for being a friend, a father figure and a brother. Awww. They lift the trophy and the firework cannons go off. The band strike up with 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now', and we celebrate both our oldest-ever celebrity winner, and our first ever back-to-back wins for a pro. </div><div><br /></div><div>And that's it for 2020! I hope I can speak for both Rad and myself when I say thank you so much for reading our blogs, it's been lovely to hear how much you've enjoyed them, and we hope we have in some small way provided a bit of light and fun in a very difficult year <i>[ditto - Rad]</i>. We'd like to say we'll be back for 2021 but... well, after the way this year's gone, it doesn't seem sensible to make big promises for the future, but we'll see what happens.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'd like to leave this series on a truly heartwarming note, with a little reminder of the sacrifices that were made for the sake of our entertainment:</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjBxnQWtmyAIrBlYy6576a4J32LBaOFbSQlFi7RkaALFQ3oIIWLu8ybhu3WISpkFBaYGwwmd28T5X-mvr7pOyzzFnrW5bwdAgxdCLsx1rEGyw_odMCef8bgpuCMAatnbLjdSti4euWxOV/s1636/Screenshot+2020-12-20+at+18.36.33.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1192" data-original-width="1636" height="390" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjBxnQWtmyAIrBlYy6576a4J32LBaOFbSQlFi7RkaALFQ3oIIWLu8ybhu3WISpkFBaYGwwmd28T5X-mvr7pOyzzFnrW5bwdAgxdCLsx1rEGyw_odMCef8bgpuCMAatnbLjdSti4euWxOV/w536-h390/Screenshot+2020-12-20+at+18.36.33.jpg" width="536" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Goodnight!</div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-15331831466395330102020-12-19T17:55:00.000+00:002020-12-19T17:55:06.390+00:00This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...<h4 style="text-align: left;"> <u>Monday</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>- Ranvir has cried a bit, mostly when people message her to tell her how inspirational she was.</div><div>- She also ate a family-size bag of Wotsits to crush her feelings.</div><div>- Giovanni thinks Ranvir has accomplished the most of any of his partners since he joined the show.</div><div>- Ranvir has a collection of pictures of Giovanni in the sailor outfit. And possibly out of it as well, who can say.</div><div>- The show has been a bit like therapy for Ranvir.</div><div>- Ian thinks he and Zoe looked like they should be getting married in their tango, and that if they had babies the babies would be like giraffes.</div><div>- Ian is still revelling in the fact he 'killed' Zoe in the tango.</div><div>- Ian once gave Girls Aloud some choreography for a tour and thought Kimberley was the best dancer even then.</div><div>- The Tango is now officially in the DIFFICULT FOR MEN pantheon.</div><div>- Bill would have been on board with being fired out of a cannon if they'd asked him to.</div><div>- Oti absolutely has the 'I want two wins in a row' glint in her eye.</div><div>- The judges' have picked Bill's quickstep to do again, and Bill and Oti have picked their Couple's Choice.</div><div>- Bill's showdance is to 'The Show Must Go On'.</div><span><a name='more'></a></span><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Tuesday</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>- Pasha is still pretty.</div><div>- Zoe has missed the way Pasha says "technique".</div><div>- Pasha thinks Jamie's salsa was 'crispy'.</div><div>- Someone in the BBC archives still has the SMart theme music available for use.</div><div>- The show has some talented artists amongst its viewers.</div><div>- Viewers seem to most like creating art of Clara and Aljaz; Bill and Oti; HRVY and Janette; Caroline and Johannes; Max and Dianne; and Ranvir.</div><div>- It is Zoe's son Woody's birthday today, and it was Kirsten O'Brien's son Fox's birthday yesterday.</div><div>- Jamie thinks that the comparison of Karen's floorspin to his is like "Instagram" vs "reality".</div><div>- Jamie and Karen prepared for the dance-off by collapsing backstage (him) and eating sweets (her). (Is that our first official KAREN LOVE FOOD of the series?)</div><div>- Jamie and Karen's showdance will be to 'I'm Still Standing' (see what they did there?) - apparently the Taron Egerton playing Elton version, whatever the difference between that and the original is? </div><div>- There better be a surprise AR Bruno cameo to recreate the video.</div><div>- Kelvin Fletcher's had a shave. It doesn't look so good.</div><div>- Zoe cried when she found out Janette was in her first final.</div><div>- Harry Judd wants to do <i>Strictly </i>again.</div><div>- In Stacey Dooley's mind, she looks like Aliona when she's dancing.</div><div>- Stacey and Kevin still watch the show together and Kevin has Lots Of Opinions.</div><div>- Kelvin Fletcher's abiding memory of last year's contest (apart from winning) is Will Bayley's contemporary routine.</div><div>- Stacey sounds the 't' in "rapport".</div><div>- Kelvin and Stacey both think there's nothing wrong with Maisie being confident, and Stacey thinks it's something that we unfairly weaponise against young women.</div><div>- All three of Harry, Kelvin and Stacey would like Bill to win, but Kelvin and Stacey also quite want Jamie to win.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Wednesday</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>- Ian's Komedy Kristmas outfit was an elf.</div><div>- Ian wants all the showdances to have a beginning, a middle and an end. He'll be lucky.</div><div>- Bill's showdance has lots of paso elements to it.</div><div>- Jamie's showdance has some hand jive and lindyhop in it.</div><div>- Zoe is a bit annoyed with the Call Ofcom brigade at this stage in proceedings.</div><div>- Tommy and Lizzy from <i>So You Think You Can Dance</i> are doing a lot of street choreography for this show. They also choreographed the first street routine on the show ever for Charles and Karen.</div><div>- The show originally reached out to Kate Prince, but she was too busy so she suggested them. (Also judging by the Kate Prince choreography that we saw on <i>SYTYCD</i>, this was no great loss.)</div><div>- They have choreographed something for Christmas which includes an Anton solo.</div><div>- They have choreographed <i>all </i>of Jamie's dances in the final. All of them. Sweet gig for Karen.</div><div>- Tommy and Lizzy also choreographed the supermarket pro dance, so we can only assume that they ship Johannes/Gorka as well.</div><div>- Maisie is worried about reprising her samba because it was so long ago.</div><div>- Maisie and Gorka are being the token Christmas couple this year for their showdance.</div><div>- Gorka would love to do their Couple's Choice again in the final but they're not allowed. (Thank God).</div><div>- Maisie had so much adrenaline coursing through her from the Couple's Choice routine that she found it hard to calm down in time for her Viennese waltz.</div><div>- Maisie's granddad spent the day watching all of her Strictly videos on YouTube earlier this week.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Thursday</h4><div><br /></div><div>- This week we have a Thursday panel because of it being the final week, and it consists of Luke Kempner, Joanna Page and Saffron Barker.</div><div>- Rylan calls Vicky Gill 'a lady in the street and a freak with the pleats'.</div><div>- Vicky Gill's sketches were "a bit quick" this week.</div><div>- Karen loves a corset.</div><div>- Maisie's showdance is more traditional than Vicky Gill expected it to be.</div><div>- Janette's showdance outfit has to be carefully designed so as not to cut HRVY.</div><div>- HRVY wanted to be in pale blue for the final.</div><div>- Nadiya and Graziano have been finding out how to do the Jarabe Tapatío, a Mexican courtship dance.</div><div>- It involves a lot of tap-like movements that Graziano found quite challenging.</div><div>- Janette has a touch of PTSD from her various "almost-but-not-quite" experiences with ringers in the past.</div><div>- Janette got more 10s with HRVY than she got with all her other partners combined.</div><div>- Janette bought HRVY a shirt.</div><div>- Janette and HRVY are reprising their American Smooth to make sure the sequin budget for those outfits is justified.</div><div>- Janette has been preparing her showdance for eight years.</div><div>- Joanna is very sad that she will not get to see Giovanni's chest any more. (She also pronounces it "Joe Varney".)</div><div>- Saffron isn't too upset that she didn't get to the final, as she didn't fancy doing three dances.</div><div>- Luke is a Bill fan and went to some of his stand-up shows.</div><div>- HRVY has some unfortunate training pants with a big circle around his crotch.</div><div>- Rylan thinks it's rare that someone gets to the final without hitting a dance-off. Rylan has only been on this show two years and you can tell.</div><div>- Luke knew Jamie would be less good than everyone else but would work hard.</div><div>- Saffron thinks HRVY will win, Joanna thinks HRVY will win, and Luke thinks Jamie will win.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Friday</h4><div><br /></div><div>- Karen is very tired.</div><div>- Jamie's showdance involves a roly-poly. He hasn't done one since childhood and it was harder than he remembered.</div><div>- Jamie's parents say he was a nightmare as a child.</div><div>- Jamie's dad calls him 'boysy'.</div><div>- Clara's mum is missing the show more than Clara, because it gave her kudos in her Whatsapp groups. </div><div>- Gorka views Maisie as the little sister he never had.</div><div>- Maisie has learned that you mustn't ever be too confident. Which is unfortunate.</div><div>- Gorka is hoping for a happy ending in the final. </div><div>- Maisie put her heart and soul into her samba the first time she did it and she's not sure she has any more to give.</div><div>- Gorka loves dancing on the bench, but as Rylan points out, he's not the one negotiating slats in heels.</div><div>- The key word for Maisie and Gorka's showdance is 'Hollywood'. It will involve a big Christmas tree and some presents.</div><div>- Jacqui will have some fans in the final group dance. (Crueler people than us might say 'first time for everything'.)</div><div>- Bill evangelises about the quickstep to everyone he meets.</div><div>- Oti lets the celeb choose their favourite dance to reprise in the final.</div><div>- Bill's wife is a fan of enormous hair bows.</div><div>- Gethin is never going to forget SIMPSONDANCE and neither is Max. And neither are we, though perhaps for different reasons.</div><div>- Katya is throwing everything into hers and Nicola's final dance. Just for a change.</div><div>- Ranvir likes a massive Ugg boot.</div><div>- Ranvir has had a lovely week with her son and remembering that the world exists outside of Strictly.</div><div>- HRVY's first thought on meeting Janette was relief that she is small.</div><div>- HRVY and Janette's showdance is choreographed by Lukas McFarlane.</div><div>- HRVY's best friend is called HRRY. Sorry, <i>Harry</i>.</div><div>- Rick Astley has a Christmas single. How nice for him.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-26427380592432292742020-12-13T21:31:00.010+00:002020-12-20T10:55:29.389+00:00Singh off<p><b>Week 8: Top 5 Results (Semi-Final) -</b><b> 13 December 2020</b></p><p>We open with a rumba-contempowaft pro dance to 'Running Up That Hill' in which Luba and Graziano are in love, he gives her a massive necklace and a sad and lonely Karen wears a trenchcoat and watches them. Aljaž plays some sort of demon feeding on Karen's jealousy, and he gives her the same necklace as Luba, which is her cue to go all Single White Female and dress the same as Luba before snaring Graziano by the power of, er, the same jewellery he just bought someone else, then all the other pros play some sort of polyamorous sex demon minions tempting both Karen and Graziano and doing weird cheerleading towers (but from hell). Then Luba wears Karen's trenchcoat of loneliness, Aljaz and Graziano spit roast Karen, Karen takes the necklace of evil off and Luba ad Graziano get back together. Also loads of fire goes off everywhere, and there's a rotating dancefloor the whole time, and it's completely bonkers but quite enjoyable.</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p>The hosts enter, Tess in black and white, looking much better than last night, and Claudia in all black. They tell us Jason Gilkison choreographed that dance as if you couldn't tell. The judges enter, and Shirley and Motsi are also in all black, with Shirley looking like the kind of gothic goddess she should have been for Halloween. Craig injects some 'colour' into proceedings in a grey jacket. It's nearly Christmas guys, lighten up! Claudia previews Little Mix giving a special guest performance but we'll have to wait and see if there were three or four of them at the time it was recorded, ooh, the anticipation.</p><p>Bruno's recap of last night includes Bruno calling Ranvir's waltz 'exquisitely elegant' and saying that Maisie's VW had an effortless quality and we see yet another clip of Maisie's couple's choice where they were massively out of sync. Guys, at least try and find a bit that makes it look 30-worthy. </p><p>With Tess and the cue cards of doom, everyone's in their first dance outfit except for HRVY and Janette. She reveals that Maisie and Gorka are safe, and the room erupts. Also safe? HRVY and Janette. So we've got a dance-off between two of the 'journey' contestants, but which? Surprisingly, they don't call Jamie and Karen, but Ranvir and Giovanni. I guess they're doing that to give a greater feeling of Bill being in danger, because there's no way Jamie's going to beat Bill.</p><p>Giovanni and Ranvir confirm that of course they're doing to do their waltz, and they'll just enjoy it. Motsi says she's gained so many skills and has proven she's a great dancer, so she just has to put beauty on the dancefloor and just enjoy it. Ranvir says she enjoys the feeling of dancing with Giovanni so it's a pleasure to do it again.</p><p>In the Chatterpillar's 'retirement party' we learn that Maisie is the youngest-ever finalist, and I can't be bothered to fact-check that, so sure [<i>It's true - before this, the youngest finalist was Matt Di Angelo, who was 20 at the time. Chris Parker was also 20 in the series one final, but he was closer to being 21 in his final than Matt Di Angelo was in his. Also in the process of fact-checking this I learnt that Matt Di Angelo's birth name was Mario Constantinou. - Steve</i>]. She thanks Gorka for always believing in her and Claudia asks which dance the girl 'who likes Latin' will do and she laughs 'the quickstep', because why wouldn't you redo that dance when it was clearly the best and most audience-friendly? I am guessing the judges will choose a Latin, but I'd love to see that tango again.</p><p>Claudia reminds Janette it's her first final and Janette says she was going to cry but then she remembered her hair and make-up, and she thanks HRVY for being a good dancer. HRVY thanks the public for never putting him in the dance-off and giving him his 'first final. Well, my only final'. Heh. [<i>Until he comes back as a pro next year!!!! - Steve</i>]</p><p>Time for our Little Mix guest performance, and no Jesy, so it must be a recent recording. Leanne looks awesome in a green jumpsuit, Perrie looks like your big sister from the 80s and Jade is wearing an 'interesting' feathery dress. The song is fine but not too memorable, indeed 'just another breakup song' as it goes. Johannes and Luba come out and jive a bit, then do more of a rumba/contemporary bit, and as much as it's nice to see them both again, I do feel so sorry for the spare pros who are now doing nothing, as Steve said last week.</p><p>Dance debrief sees Bruno saying Jamie's hoedown quickstep was a big risk but he thought it was a lot of fun, and he might have been tempted to give it a 9. Sure you would, hun. Shirley explains what she means to 'drive' from the standing foot - using more of your weight. Motsi shows the timing where HRVY stopped in his rumba and Craig demonstrates the difference between a still torso and a moving one in Charleston. Well, it took us until their advice was too late to matter, but we got some helpful tips at last.</p><p>There's then a judges' best bits but it doesn't include Shirley saying 'Learn', or 'I love heavy metal' so it's a total bust. (Also no JudgeAnton LOL)</p><p>We get a preview of this week's ITT, which will include Harry, Kelvin and Stacey returning this week; confirmation that the mysterious Kim is alive and well and still podcasting with Joe, and all the extras: Strictly: Untucked; TikTok; YouTube; Facebook; Instagram; Twitter; microfiche; Enigma code; semaphore and Google Wave.</p><p>And then it's Bill vs Jamie in the biggest foregone conclusion of the series. To no-one's surprise, Jamie and Karen are hitting their fourth dance-off. Jamie says he's proud that they've managed to be in over 50% of the dance-offs and that's their medal. Heh. Craig says Jamie's 'just like me, you see positive in everything' and tells him to get his hip rotation going, and reminds him that the judges have saved him every time.</p><p>In the Clauditorium, Bill says it's been an extraordinary experience and he was prepared for it to be tough and physically demanding but he didn't expect it to feel so liberating. </p><p>We then get a trailer for next week in which they all loom over the glitterball, but no-one touches it because the show is Covid-compliant.</p><p>Before the dance-off, Tess reminds us Ranvir scored two points higher, and I don't know if that's to pre-empt any complaints that Jamie's going home despite being higher on the leaderboard, but it seems likely. Jamie dances with a lot of gusto and energy, even if it's imprecise technically, and the audience cheer really loudly, especially Maisie, who screams, which seems like a response to them having their final dance rather than that being an epic dance that will keep them in.</p><p>Ranvir's waltz is still quite doomy, especially as she looks pretty miserable throughout, but it's clearly a cleaner and more precise performance, and I don't see her going home on the back of it.</p><p>Craig says one couple did an explosive and fabulous salsa, and the other did a dreamy waltz, and he wishes he could see both in the final. he then stutters a lot, and chokes up, in a way I don't think I've ever seen, before saving Jamie and Karen. Motsi says they were two beautiful dances but she'll save Ranvir and Giovanni. Shirley says she's grown to love both and they had musicality and gave their all, but one couple had more determination and for that reason, she's saving Jamie and Karen.</p><p>Well. Colour me shocked, especially after last week where Ranvir was building up real momentum. She did seem a bit more low-key tonight and I don't know if that affected the judges' decision, because she certainly seemed down in the dance-off performance. I would say she and Jamie have been the two biggest surprises of the series for me - from the launch show I'd have had them not much higher than Jacqui and I can't believe both had a decent shot at being in the final. I think if Ranvir had managed to shake off her self-consciousness a bit more in Latin she'd have had a really strong chance of winning. but she did always seem more comfortable in hold (and doing crappy lifts for the American Smooth was probably quite costly in the long run). I will miss her, though, and I think good things await professionally. [<i>Anything that gets her away from Piers Morgan, ideally. - Steve</i>]</p><p>Ranvir says she feels sorry for Giovanni. Eh, he's been in the final loads, he'll be fine. Giovanni says he's proud of her discipline and growth, especially given her early morning starts. Her best bits remind me just how lovely she looked in her quickstep hair and outfits. She says her 10 for the Argentine tango was a highlight. I probably won't tell her than an Anton 10 doesn't really count, and let her have that moment. Giovanni says he hopes she really feels happier and she understands more what a great person she is.</p><p>They dance out to 'You're My Best Friend' and that leaves us with Jamie'n'Karen, Bill'n'Oti, HRVY'n'Janette and Maisie'n'Gorka for the final. Is Bill Bailey still a shoo-in, or is HRVY's public vote bigger than I think? Has Maisie won the public over, or will she be competing with Jamie for fourth place? One thing's for sure, Steve will be here to see us through it all, and I will be back with the easy job of adding asides! </p>Radhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17031764260176803659noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-44567377445632410972020-12-13T19:51:00.003+00:002020-12-18T09:36:31.838+00:00I Don't Want Two Dance<p><b>Week 8: Top 5 Perform (Semi-Final) -</b><b> 12 December 2020</b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/12/re-opening-night.html" target="_blank">Last </a><a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/12/jj-ko-ed.html" target="_blank">week</a>! Musicals week actually broadened its reference
points for a change – favourably in the case of Ranvir’s <i>Waitress</i>-themed Viennese
Waltz, and less so with JJ’s <i>Chitty Chitty Bang Bang</i> Charleston, which saw him
and Amy sent home in the dance-off by a disappointingly-not-in-drag-Jamie and
Karen. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This week! Everyone’s favourite episode of the series – Two-dance week!
All of our favourite features are likely to be here: Judges’ holodeck; underwhelming
routines from fatigued celebs trying to learn two drastically different new
dances; fans bickering about who the producers’ favos are, along with something
brand-new: Bill Bailey tangoing to ‘Enter Sandman’. I’m both excited and terrified
about that last one especially.<o:p></o:p></p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p class="MsoNormal">Cue credits! Who’s the contestant you always forget did this
year’s show? For me it’s usually Max, and sometimes Jason.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Our hosts arrive. Daly Dresswatch: A hot pink thing with
ugly shoulder pads and an asymmetrical train so long I’m frightened she’s going
to have a wardrobe malfunction at any given moment. What Winkleman’s Wearing: a
natty black tube top and cropped trousers with some red heels. One of these outfits
is better than the other. They welcome back the studio audience (for one week
only, possibly. Also, having lived in Tier 3 for ages in the emplaguened North,
it’s so weird to me that there are still people in this country living Tier 2 lives.
I would kill for a café or cinema trip right now, never mind watching an
evening of live entertainment, and honestly, I might call Ofcom cos BBC BIAS
towards the government’s favo parts of the country while the rest of us have to
sit on a different bit of the sofa every few hours just to get a change of
scenery).<o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><i>Anyway</i>, the judges enter and Craig and Motsi are still
wearing black, though at least hers has some floofy netting involved. Shirley,
bless her, is wearing a blue sequinned dress, so #TeamShirley. The couples then
enter, and we’ll get on to their lewks as we cover each in turn, but blimey,
some of these people have NOT been treated kindly by wardrobe. And by some, I
mean that Bill is the only celebrity who looks even vaguely well-dressed. If
the theme tune jigging situation is any portent of what’s to come, Ranvir and Jamie
look to be flagging.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Jamie and Karen</b></h4>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This week’s VTs, being ‘I wanna get to the final’ themed, include
a tablet with messages from friends and family. I think this is to replace the
fan messages we usually get, what with COVID and all, but it may be that those
are still to come next week? Anyway, Jamie’s supporters include his brother,
his girlfriend, his mum, some random poshos who may or may not be on <i>Made In
Chelsea</i>, I dunno, I never watch it (despite writing a book on reality TV, I
know, I’m a cheat), and his dad. And Jamie’s response to his dad’s message is
to absolutely choke and say ‘my dad never says stuff like that’, and honestly,
that response felt so raw I felt like we were invading something quite
sensitive and personal there. Karen
gives him a little supportive kiss and neck rub.</div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing a salsa to ‘Last Dance’ and I wonder how
they managed to get this one first in the running order, given, well, the
likely outcome of this week’s results show. Karen’s in a sparkly ink catsuit
and Jamie in flared red trousers and a massive flower blouse, and somehow, it’s
not the worst celebrity look of the night. As for the dancing, it’s standard
Strictly disco-party-salsa, with a nice amount of energy and cheese and a lesser
amount of technique. His hips and footwork are a bit on-and-off, there’s one
lift he biffs where Karen has to get herself out of it, and another one where he
shoves Karen’s muff right into his face. It’s not especially terrible, but it’s
also not brilliant, which is usually how two-dance week routines go, so we
shouldn’t be surprised. Overall, it’s one of those dances that signify that a
journey contestant has had a good go at things but now they should probably go
home, and whilst I’m a fan of these two and am probably the only person left in
the country who’d be fine if they got to the final, it’s clear the other four
either have better stories (Ranvir), better skills (Maisie, HRVY) or better
entertainment value (Bill), so I can’t see this changing things up. I just hope
they do their other routine in the dance-off to piss off the song-choice
monkeys.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Shirley says it’s evident that they don’t want to go home as
he leaves everything on the dance-floor, and she praises a very difficult ‘bum-spin’.
Motsi loves the energy and says she can see he’s improved in his footwork and
his focus on his dance partner. Craig says some more hip rotation in the salsa
basic would have helped and his free arm had a mind of his own, then some other
critique I couldn’t make out because of the audience booing, but it takes him
back to Studio 54 (Craig was there? I highly doubt it), and it was joyous.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Jamie’s still out of breath. Scores: 8,
8, 8 for a total of 24, and Jamie’s living in his own personal hell of
consistent scores.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Our terms and conditions this week come from Rob Brydon who’d
like to remind us he is ‘not Anton’. I mean, given the viewing figures <i>Gavin
and Stacey</i> got last year, it should probably be Anton who says ‘I’m not Uncle
Bryn.’</p><div style="text-align: left;"> </div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Ranvir and Giovanni</b></h4><div style="text-align: left;">Ranvir’s special VT pals are her family, some of whom appear
to be living in a place with no accessories or personal touches whatsoever,
which I hope is just a rental place because they’re in the audience, otherwise
it’s a bit bleak; as well as her GMB colleagues, with He Who Shall Not Be Named
getting the most lines.</div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now I don’t know if the ‘death slot’ applies so much in
two-dance week, but I’m surprised they’re leading with her waltz, which is
likely to be good, rather than her jive, which looked like a car crash from the
training footage. They’re dancing to ‘Un Giorno Per Noi’ which is one of those
pieces of music you know by sound, if not by name, although I’m not sure I’ve
ever heard it sung before rather than as an instrumental. [<i>Such flashbacks to listening to emotionally manipulative human interest stories on local radio as a kid! - Steve</i>] It made me miss Bruno and his random classical music boner. It’s also a bleak as
fuck tune, which is a bold choice for a lovely waltz in semi-finals week, especially one that’s not
performed with a Halloween-style dark drama theme. Ranvir, by the way, looks
pretty terribly styled. Her dress, itself a nice-ish periwinkle, is studded
with ugly bronze and has enormous back chains dangling from it, and her hair
has been curled to resemble a 1980s’ perm. She’s only 43 and they’re styling
her like she’s her mum. Harrumph. Anyway, Giovanni looks dapper in tails, and
they hang from his bum in such a way they look like capes flying round the
room. The dancing itself is nice enough – her top line is great though she
seems to fumble some of the footwork – still, two-dance week, what can you
expect?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is clearly much more at home
in ballroom than Latin, but they just did a Viennese Waltz last week and it
seems poor choice-making to put the two waltzes back-to-back in the dance draw because
it can give the impression of being a one-trick pony (even if it might be a smart
choice in terms of not having to learn two completely new dances at once).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi says she enjoys watching her dance, and she looks
beautiful with her hair up as it shows off the extension in her neck. She says
the music was beautiful but also very difficult to work with, and she saw improvement
in that aspect of Ranvir’s dancing. Craig says the footwork was ‘a little ropey’
especially in the pivots, but she maintained body contact throughout and her
top line was exquisite, but overall ‘simply, elegant GAWJUSS’. Shirley says they
seem to have been watching an entirely different dance, to which Giovanni
snips, ‘Yes, thank you’ (Gorka’s lessons in being pissy are starting to rub
off) and even though I like Ranvir a lot, I’d LOL if this means Shirley disagrees
that it’s GAWJUSS. Of course that’s not how it goes, Shirley says it was
controlled and slow, and her frame looks like a pro, though it’d be improved
with more drive from her standing foot. Tess wishes them good luck with their
jive and they give pained smiles back. Given the training footage and Giovanni’s
claim that ‘I don’t think it’ll be as bad as people are expecting’, I’m super
scared for her.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, they have another message, from Kate
Garraway, who is really effusive in her praise (and looks amazing), and Ranvir is
touched that she found time to do that, given what she’s going through. Scores:
8, 9, 9 for a total of 26. Claudia says the jive is Giovanni’s favourite dance
(tell that to his track record).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Claudia previews Maisie and Gorka dancing ‘to mine and Tess’s
favourite song, ‘Getting Jiggy With It’ [sic] and Tess says ‘happy memories’.
Damn the lack of intimate contact this virus hath wrought!<o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Bill and Oti</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal">Bill’s VT features him explaining that he’s called Bill
because his teacher used to call him it in relation to the song ‘Won’t You Come
Home Bill Bailey’, which they’ll be dancing to tonight. I have to say, that is
remarkable restraint on behalf of the producers, because normally name-dropping
songs like that are deployed in week one. He way more celebrity supporters than
anyone else, including Rich Hall, Dave Johns, one of the Sugarhill Gang and
DAME EMMA THOMPSON (Prince Harry Who?) as well as his KEYWORKER NIECE. It’s
like when, on the <i>X Factor,</i> the presumptive winner was paired with Beyoncé or
Kylie while the also-rans got late-career Westlife.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing a Charleston and are both in classic 1920s
gear, although his outfit is better than Oti’s, which appears to be made of
shredded ties. This dance does suit his personality from a performance
perspective, but it’s actually technically a bit below-par. He doesn’t commit
fully to some of the moves, loses his timing (by being a bit slow) a couple of
times and looks out of breath for much of it. It’s not quite as bad as I just
made it sound, but it’s also not as good as I thought it would be given how
well his Quickstep and C**pl*s Ch**c* went.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says he’ll replace the ‘won’t’ with ‘don’t’, to bemused
silence and then sings ‘don’t you go home Bill Bailey’, and Tess says ‘I love
it when you sing’. Yeah, but it’s no BRUNO SINGS is it. Craig praises the performance
and says it has fantastic swivel. Shirley says it was great to see his comedic
side but it would have been nice to have more musicality in his body. Motsi
says seeing him dance is like soul food – ‘something happens inside’ and says
his weight distribution was better than in his jive.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Bill says he liked having fun and it’s
great to get a message from his niece despite being busy in hosptital. Scores:
8, 8, 9 for a total of 25. He cues up ‘Enter Sandman’ and says it really does
work for a Tango. I mean, I see it more as a paso tune, but maybe?<o:p></o:p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Maisie and Gorka</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal">The training footage for their couple’s choice is slowed
down so much it looks like they’re out of time with each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LOLOOOPS. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her sister comes to
visit them in training and says she thinks Maisie is really talented, and she
gets a video call from her ‘Grandy’ who says he can’t believe it’s his
granddaughter ‘doing all those fancy dances’. Yeah, but brace yourself, it’s
couple’s choice coming, Grandy. She also gets messages from various EastEnders
cast members as well as a bunch of mute friends and family.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The outfits for their couple’s choice comprise huge baggy jeans
and huge oversized baseball jackets with their names on, and she has her hair
long but with two buns, a la Yaz from <i>Doctor Who</i> in those series 11 promo
shots. She doesn’t look great, and the baggy clothing might be to emulate
hip-hop in theory, but in practice it looks like hip-hop as interpreted by the Empire
Stories catalogue. ‘Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It’ is also the kind of song choice I’d
expect for a Jamie Laing or Bill Bailey, but not for a ringer. Anyway. Her
timing is great, and she performs this well, but is it just me, or does this
have less ‘content’ than Bill, Jamie and HRVY’s couple’s choice routines? It’s
the first one (apart from maybe Nicola’s) where I’ve thought ‘eh, I could do
that’ for large chunks, and it seems to be mostly a lot of hopping on the spot
(apart from an OK breakdancing part), it also has two really ungainly lifts and
an ugly ‘under the arms’ bit. I don’t know how much this is going to help her
avoid another dance-off, because I don’t see it sitting too well with many
viewers. [<i>On a shallow note, Gorka has seldom looked hotter. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I know we hate on couple’s choice a lot (though I admit I’ve
enjoyed a handful of them over the years… and would equally have enjoyed then
as show dances), but even so, this is one of my least favourite dance all series.
And I love Maisie – she’s the contestant I’ve voted for the most this year. But
this was just… kids in the playground. Of course in a truncated run nobody was
ever going to dance all of our private wishlists, but I’m especially aggrieved
we got this rather than either her rumba or her Argentine Tango, as I think she’s
pretty much the only one of this year’s contestants who could pull those dances
off really well. It’ll feel even more galling if we have to go through a
retread of this next week in her ‘showdance’. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess says we’ve had some ‘great’ couple’s choices this year.
If by great you mean ‘even more limited in variety and with fewer dance ‘rules’
to judge them on than usual’ then yeah, sure. And SIMPSONSDANCE happened so
that cancels out any good ones. (Also I genuinely think the only pro who seems
comfortable with ‘street dance’ is Karen, and it shows. To be fair, I’ve yet so see Anton’s attempt, so he could be a secret throwdown master.)<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Shirley calls her the queen of pop and calls it effortless,
flawless and spectacular and it will ‘go down in history’ as one of her
favourite dances ever. Motsi says it’s great for people who do contempowaft and
street dance to see themselves represented on the show. I mean they might if there
were any ‘rules’ to the genres and it wasn’t just an easy way to score 8+ points
that makes everyone in the audience grumble that it’s ‘not a proper dance’. Craig
says ‘that’s the dance I’ve been waiting for all series’ so you know he’s going
to 10 this. What the hell has happened to Craig this year that his only 10s are
for Couple’s Choice, who even is he? (And no, 10s in the final don’t count). To
add insult to injury, the slow-mo clip they choose to show as they go upstairs
shows them <i>completely out of sync.</i><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, we get a special VT message from Auntie
NatCass who says she’s been working with Maisie since she was ‘five years old’
even though in her VT, Maisie said she started on EE when she was ‘six’ so somebody
has alternative facts going on. Scores: 10, 10, 10 for a score of 30. Absolute
bullshit, I’m sorry, no, rewatch her quickstep, jive or even tango and then try
and tell me this was better. <o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><o:p> </o:p></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>HRVY and Janette</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It’s finally here, it’s finally here, it’s finally heeeeeeere.
After weeks of moaning, Steve and I finally get to see a rumba. And it’s a
BlokeRumba, by a bloke who seems a bit too awkward to try and be sexy with a
pro that’s basically his mum. But it’s a rumba nonetheless and I am here. For. It. [<i>After all that complaining I am just going to shut up and accept this is the rumba we're getting. - Steve</i>]</div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Before that, though, we have to get through a VT featuring
his family whom I now know better than Graziano who’s been on this show for 3
years.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They are dancing to ‘Only You’ and if the arrangement feels
unfamiliar to you, then be glad, because this is the arrangement used on <i>Kylie
Christmas</i> when she duetted with James Corden and that’s not a thing I ever
need to be reminded of. We open with an AR snowglobe covering them on a round stage,
and it looks really effective at first. It does go on a bit longer than needed,
and at one point its snow obscures them even more than the gold glitter hid
their tango, but still one of the prettier effects this year. Janette looks
lovely in silver sparkles, but HRVY looks pretty bad in a baggy silk lilac
pyjama top and oversized grey school trousers. As for the dancing itself, it’s
not helped by the fact he has an awkward grin on his face most of the time, and
his movements aren’t as fluid or elongated as they need to be, but still – best
rumba of the series (ho ho).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi says there was pressure because it was the first (and
last) rumba of the series, but it had some nice moments – the real issue came
in transitions. Craig said it kept stopping dead in its tracks when the
movement needed to be continuous and he seemed to be off balance the whole time
and his left foot was turned out as it should be, but his right was turned in,
though he did like their partnering. Shirley says she’s a little conflicted –
there was a marvellous section in the middle but generally she’s going to go
with Craig as the body kept freezing, and even when the feet stop, the body
should keep going, but he’s still lovely. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The vibe in the Clauditorium is very ‘oh well, we tried’.
Scores: 7 (for dead silence, as we all know a 7 at this stage is basically a
4), 8, 8 for a total of 23. HRVY says he’s glad he got more than a 6. We then
get a mid-episode leaderboard with the weird sight of HRVY being bottom of the
table.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Still, the rumba is still a genre that exists in this show,
so hurrah for that. [<i>Yeah, even if it's going the way of the waltz, at least I know the show hasn't eradicated it entirely. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We get a preview for what’s coming but let’s just recap the
dances themselves, I haven’t got all night, there’s wine to mull.<o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Jamie and Karen 2</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal">This year’s Judges’ Holodeck features the celebs sitting in empty
cinemas to watch the comments and it feels like the show made a big deal (and rightly
so) of theatres being closed, but given they have a movie week and they’ve shot
all these VTs in empty screens, they could at least have made mention of the
poor cinema industry which has had an equally terrible year. As a regular
attendee of most of my local cinemas, I have not only missed seeing films there
but also all the staff who are unfailingly lovely, and several of whom have
lost their jobs and not just been furloughed. [<i>Same. Shout out to the cinema workers, we love you and we miss you. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, Jamie’s journey features being fun and having lots
of energy; starting from a bad cha cha, sticking his bum out in the American
Smooth (Jamie: ‘was it out?’, Karen: ‘it was out’), a fun Hercules Charleston,
a breakthrough ‘free dance’ as Motsi calls it… and then nothing else. It seems
odd they didn’t at least include his samba, which felt like a genuine surprise triumph.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They are dancing the quickstep to a country song I’ve never
heard before called ‘Thank God I’m A Country Boy’ that’s apparently a John
Denver track and. Oh. My. Even by the excessive standards of the AR this year,
what’s going on is A LOT. There are badly rendered CGI animals everywhere,
carts, hay bales, a bench – some of which are props, some of which aren’t.
Jamie’s in jeans, a check shirt and cowboy boots and is lying down chewing hay
and Karen’s in a milkmaid dress, cowboy boots, and has been given plaits that
actually kind of suit her, but also make her look <i>exactly like someone</i>
and I cannot for the life of me think who. And all of this is before the
dancing even starts.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The dance itself is basically a sneaky resurrection of Fusion
week because it’s as much line-dance as quickstep, but then I guess that’s not
any worse than a disco salsa in terms of purity of genre (*side-eyes Abbey and Aljaž
especially*). I’ve seen a lot of people say they thought it was a Charleston
but I don’t see that really – yes, there are some Charleston-style moves but quickstep
is a modified Charleston anyway – this didn’t have the lifts or swivel of a
Charleston. I think it was the goofiness and side by side stuff that didn’t
feel super quickstep, but to me, those bits felt more like line dance, as did
the bits where they danced about on the bench. The in hold stuff is classic
mid-table quickstep – i.e. run around so fast that no-one can tell if it’s any
good or not. There’s definitely a lot of faffin abaht, but also Jamie can... actually line dance? It’s all so odd, but
kind of endearingly so, I think? The whole thing is just such a mad fever dream
(I have no idea who put Karen + Jamie + Country + quickstep together as a concept
but I suspect late-series pandemic-inflicted delirium had kicked in). It’s not the first time tonight (and
definitely won’t be the last) that I haven’t a clue what I’ve just watched. Ah,
two-dance week. [<i>I'm one of those who thought it was a charleston but chalk that up to general two-dance-week <o:p></o:p>fatigue and me not really paying attention. - Steve</i>]</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess says she’s never seen anyone as enthusiastic as him and
that that was his last dance. I mean, I know his dance-off record suggests so,
Tess, but I don’t think you’re allowed to write them off before the public have
even voted.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says when he saw the whole get up he thought ‘this is
never going to be a quickstep’ but he was surprised that they turned it into
one, but he hated the ‘chicken thing’ on the table. Shirley says she really
liked it, but you have to have an open mind. [<i>Plus we all know Shirley loves <a href="https://twitter.com/shirleyballas/status/1056518355690102785?lang=en">CHICKUN</a>. - Steve</i>] Motsi says there’s so much warmth
coming from him and it started well but lost it a little in the middle, but he
left his heart on the dance floor. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Claudia praises him for having to do
two fast dances in the same show, and we get a video call with his dad, who
says he didn’t think Jamie would get past week one, but he’s done so well.
Jamie cries ‘it’s amazing when you make your parents proud’, and the way Karen
is holding his arm just suggests there are layers to that statement. Scores: 8,
8, 8 for a total of 24, again. Claudia asks Karen why he deserves to get to the
final, and she says it’s because he keeps trying and picking himself up, and
has a little cry.<o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><o:p> </o:p></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Ranvir and Giovanni 2</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal">Their journey goes from terrible launch show to fiery paso,
through some lovely ballroom and shit Latin. And also no couple’s choice.
*Applauds Ranvir and Giovanni*. (What do we think she’d have done? I can’t see
it being street dance – which may be why she never did it if Chris’s theory
that there were limited guest choreographers available is true - but I’m on the fence
as to whether it’d be musical theatre or contempowaft). [<i>She's got contempowaft written all over her, I'm sure of it. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They are jiving to ‘Candyman’ and the plot is they’re
sailing on a boat carrying loads of sweets called ‘HMS Candy’. Giovanni in that
sailor’s outfit? Yes please. (Except the ugly battery pack obscuring his bum).
I don’t hate Ranvir’s sailor dress either, but the hair and make-up they’ve
given her make her look like Dorien Green. She’s such a beautiful woman, I wish
they’d stop making her look older than she is (I mean I might be projecting a <i>little</i>
as she’s the cast member closest to my own age). The dance is bad, as we all
knew it would be, but in a way, I kind of enjoy it more than some of her other
party latin where it looked like she was grimacing throughout, because here she
looks a bit more like ‘eh, we all know this is terrible, I don’t give a shit
anymore’. I know a lot of people were annoyed she had this instead of rumba,
and I am, too, from a genre point of view, but I’m not entirely convinced she’d
have done the rumba well. I think she has the potential to – her Argentine
Tango proved she can smoulder and her ballroom proves she can do romantic – but
she gets so into her own head in Latin that I don’t know if she’d have been able
to push through her awkwardness. Still, it would probably have been better than
this, so…<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Shirley said the beginning was good, she has sass, power and
attitude, but the jive is unforgiving and if the weight is in the wrong place
it looks heavy, which this did. She says it wasn’t her favourite of Ranvir’s Latin
dances. Although there’s only really the paso that could be, let’s face it. Motsi
says her ‘first’ Latin dance, the cha cha wasn’t good (surely paso was first?)
and this was an improvement. Craig said the dance did not suit her at all, it
was heavy and laboured and her body looked like it didn’t want to be there, but
at least her face was selling it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Ranvir says there’s nothing else you
can do but give it a go, and she didn’t expect to still be here in December,
never mind the semi-final. Giovanni says the fact that she performed is more important
than kicks’n’flicks. Scores: 5 (at which I audibly went OOOF), 6, 7 for a total
of 18. YOWCH. (I mean that’s basically the semi-final equivalent of 2, 3, 4).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After Steve’s observation last week that
Ranvir appeared to be getting a bit of a winner’s edit, tonight has been very
much <i>not </i>that, so I don’t know what’s going on any more. [<i>Yeah, a lot can change in a week, can't it? I don't think I've ever seen the show go so cold on a contestant so quickly before they even hit the bottom two. - Steve</i>] Giovanni says
she deserves to go into the final because of her journey and that in this show
the journey is more important than the technique… yeah, but you don’t want the
pinnacle of that journey to be, well, <i>that</i>.<o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><o:p> </o:p></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Bill and Oti 2</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal">Bill talks about how much he loves Metallica and how ‘Enter Sandman’
is something he uses in his shows. I love that song, too, but isn’t it a bit “mainstream”
to be proper heavy metal? We see their journey, from rubbish week 1 Latin through
having a quickstep and couple’s choice breakthrough to having an under-par jive
(and apparently nothing after that).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">For this routine, Oti looks amazing with a black and blue dress
and some intricate beading in her hair. Bill’s in a bit of a dull blue suit and
they haven’t done anything exciting with his hair, despite Mel Giedroyc’s
request on ITT that he go full Pixie Lott. So my main concern about ‘Enter Sandman’
for a tango is that it has a lot of changes in tempo, which you can cover a bit
more in a paso through shaping. And this proves to be a real sticking point
with this routine, because there is a TON of stopping. Like, they dance down
through the first verse, it goes quite well, then they stand still, doing
absolutely nothing, for several seconds, waiting through a change of tempo
before going again when the main rhythm kicks back in. And this happens a few times.
It’s also very sloppy and imprecise throughout, when a tango really needs that
staccato punch. There’s a tiny moment of air guitar and some good facial work
and yes, there’s something entertaining about Bill Bailey dancing to Metallica,
sure, but it’s mostly another of those ‘what did I just watch?’ moments, and
not so much in a good way. I just wish that in those moments of standing still
they’d done something – even air guitar or headbanging – to lift it. And at the
end, Bill grunts a lot which is really disconcerting and I do not like it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi says ‘Strictly Come Dancing, Bill Bailey, Metallica
and Tango are four words I never thought would go together’. That’s seven
words, Motsi, although it explains perhaps why everyone calls him Billbailey
and not Bill. She says it was typical Billbailey, taking a dance and making it
his, though she’d have liked more technique. She also wonders what she just
watched. Craig said it could have done with some V-shaping and technique, but
he’s always a surprise and he loved it. Shirley says ‘I am very much a heavy
metal-bound fan’ [<i>'band', surely? - Steve</i>] and she loved the music, and he has an epic attitude and
attack, but there were some balance issues and footwork that was ‘not acceptable
to me in a semi-final’ OUCH. Craig then shouts ‘how come Shirley’s not getting
booed’ and the audience boo a little then Shirley responds ‘Hold on, hold on. <i>Learn.</i>’
That might be my favourite ever Shirley moment. She then critiques his footwork
and knees, ‘but I love Heavy Metal, I love it’ she screeches. Actually, <i>that
</i>might be my favourite ever Shirley moment. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Claudia said he made Dave Arch’s night
and we see him rocking out – actually, as much as that was a bad music choice,
the band did a really great job. Oti says it would have been a shame not to use
that song as it’s Bill’s fave. Scores: 8, 7, 8 for a total of 23. Oti says Bill
should be in the final because he puts his heart out there and he makes people believe
that they can do it too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aww.<o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><o:p> </o:p></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Maisie and Gorka 2</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal">Maisie’s journey goes from being a good dancer to being in
the dance-off, to getting a good quickstep (they definitely recorded these before last week's performance show, didn't they?). The judges say her weakness is her footwork,
and Gorka says not to worry too much, they’re just talking about the difference
between a 9 and a 10. I am not loving that the female ringer is yet again
getting their ringer-ness emphasised way more than their male counterpart this
year.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their Viennese Waltz is to ‘A Thousand Years’ which is a
boring old sappy song for a boring old sappy genre, and there’s some annoying
titting about with a ukulele at the start, but she looks stunning in her floaty
dress with curled hair, and Gorka’s trousers are very nice in the bum-enhancing
department, and the whole thing is just lovely to watch. As much as I hate the
Viennese Waltz, I can’t deny that they can be spectacular when done well, and
this is really beautiful – her arms, in particular, are elongated so nicely (*weeps
for the lost rumba*), and her face is really selling the wistful, romantic
vibe. I originally typed ‘So Maisie’s given my favourite and least favourite routines
of the night so far’… but then I remembered Ranvir’s jive, sorry Ranvir. [<i>If anything it's a kindness to forget Ranvir's jive. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says her footwork was much improved and her
performance was gorgeous though occasionally there could be more stretch. Shirley
said it has everything she looked for, her body is like an instrument and it
was one of the most beautiful VWs she’s ever seen. Motsi says if it was allowed,
she’d hug her now, and the dance was what she’d been looking for from the start
– Maisie’s routines have often been a bit busy and that was much more refined.
Maisie is crying a lot, bless her.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Maisie’s very emotional still. Scores:
9, 10, 10 for a total of 29 and Gorka squeals. Claudia says she begs to differ
with Maisie’s assertion that ballroom isn’t her thing. Hard agree. Her quickstep and tango are easily the best examples of either genre this series
and I found most of her ballroom way more interesting than her Latin. Gorka
praises her for never giving up and for being good company while he misses Gemma
and Mia. [<i>No, YOU're crying. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><o:p> </o:p></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>HRVY and Janette 2</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal">HRVY says Judges’ Holodeck reminds him of parents’ evening at
school because he IS YOUNG. Their comments: being great from week 1, doing a silly
gnome cha cha cha, being a GOAT. [<i>For a minute there I tried to remember which theme week they dressed him up as a goat for. 2020 has ruined my brain. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their Charleston is to ‘Another Day of Sun’ and it’s set in
a café, where Harvey is the barista and Janette a customer. It begins with a
level of dicking about in a kitchen not seen since James Cracknell, but when it
gets going, it’s a nice sprightly routine for the most part. It’s very fast, he
does well with the goofy attitude, the elongated movements look great and the swivel
is present. Its weak points are the lifts, which aren’t the type they usually
do where Janette can propel herself around through the force of her bionic pelvic
floor alone, but need him to execute them well, and he looks like he’s lugging
bags of coffee beans about – unless that was part of the story? Still, it’s bound
to get him 9s and 10s in a year that’s been pretty good for Charlestons overall,
especially in comparison to jives (Maisie’s aside), cha cha chas and Argentine
Tangos.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The judges’ comments are rushed through, presumably for time,
and Shirley says it was a great way to close the show – he dances the steps ‘as
an artist’. Motsi says she was left speechless and he’d better be careful they
don’t ask him to come back next year as a pro – I mean, did you not see that
rumba? Or the judges’ holodeck you just did where you all slated his cha cha
cha? [<i>Or the fact that he's managed to skip several of the traditional 10 dances? - Steve</i>] Tess asks Craig if he was in ‘swivel heaven’ and he says he was definitely
in Heaven in the 90s in Charing Cross which none of the audience respond to at
first because apparently they’ve reduced their quotient of middle-aged meeja
gays, blame 2020. Eventually there are some giggles, but more in bemusement than anything. Anyway, the swivel was fab-u-lous so he’s probably getting
his 10 out again – and whilst this wasn’t flawless, I’d definitely rather this
got a 30 than Maisie’s Couple’s Choice.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, HRVY is asked if he’ll come back as a
pro and he says he’ll work on his rumba before he comes back. He says he wants
to be in the final for Janette because she’s been here for 8 years and never
done one. I know that might say more about Janette than her contestants, but
Anton managed it twice, so… Scores: 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30. Janette then
goes into full on mum mode as she says HRVY needs to get through as he’s a
great representative of ‘his generation’.<o:p></o:p></p>
<div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Leaderboard</h4><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">1. Maisie and Gorka - 30+29=59</div><div style="text-align: left;">2. HRVY and Janette - 23+30=53</div><div style="text-align: left;">3=. Jamie and Karen - 24+24=48</div><div style="text-align: left;">3=. Bill and Oti - 25+23=48</div><div style="text-align: left;">5. Ranvir and Giovanni - 26+18=44</div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I love that in two-dance week, we still have a tie in the middle!
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Claudia lets Janette open the vote because she misses her
dancing in front of her when they used to do it, and everyone wears some silly
sunglasses they clearly purchased for NotBLACKPOOL week and lost in a box in the
props cupboard.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So that's the last of our dances proper. Tomorrow, I would guess we’re getting either Jamie vs Ranvir
or Jamie vs Maisie in the dance-off, with Jamie going, unless Ranvir jives,
which would be a very silly decision indeed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Join me then to discover who our finalists
will be! </p>Radhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17031764260176803659noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-4825171918647145932020-12-12T18:33:00.001+00:002020-12-12T18:33:34.484+00:00This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...<h4 style="text-align: left;"> Monday</h4><div><br /></div><div>- Zoe lives for Johannes, Giovanni and Gorka in drag.</div><div>- JJ is currently the fittest he has been in his post-surgery body, and that's as good as any prize as far as Amy is concerned.</div><div>- JJ has taught Amy to have a new outlook on life.</div><div>- JJ misjudged Jamie coming into the competition - he didn't say precisely how, but the suggestion is that he thought he was going to be a bit of a bellend.</div><div>- Ian thought Gethin's jive was overmarked and standards have improved since then. Miaow!</div><div>- Zoe didn't like her outfit for the jive. Or the dance itself, and rumour has it she can't hear 'Part Time Lover' anymore because of the routine.</div><div>- The jive was Ian's last-ever competitive dance on <i>Strictly </i>(unless you count the week he stood in for Brendan during series 8).</div><div>- Amy was not feeling too confident about her performance in the pro challenge, and watching it back she thinks her technique looks horrendous.</div><div>- Amy completed 23 fleckerls with two disqualifications, putting her joint top with Johannes and Nancy, so she needn't have worried.</div><div>- General consensus is that Gorka and Neil are the silliest pros backstage, and that Katya is the hardest trainer (Oti thinks she is, however, quelle surprise).</div><div>- Most of the pros prefer comedy to horror, except Neil, Johannes and Giovanni.</div><div>- Janette thinks Musicals Week is the best week to take a risk.</div><div>- HRVY's tailcoat was very tight under the arms.</div><div>- Tails are great for male celebs' ballroom frame because there's no room for movement.</div><div>- HRVY preferred his American smooth to his Couple's Choice.</div><div>- Janette hopes that it will be an advantage that no one else has done a rumba this year.</div><div>- Zoe is a rumba fan. HRVY is not.</div><div>- HRVY and Janette will be doing the only rumba this series. *Glares at Gorka and Maisie's dance card*.</div><div>- HRVY's other dance for this week is a charleston.<span><a name='more'></a><br /></span><h4 style="text-align: left;">Tuesday</h4></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>- Karen thinks she did poorly in the pro challenge this year, because she didn't have the right approach or the right footwear,</span></div><div><span>- Dianne is hungry for a title. Maybe she could be a Viscountess? Surely there's a vacancy now that Emma Weymouth has been promoted to a Marchioness. (We aren't entirely sure how that whole system works but it must be along those lines.)</span></div><div>- Karen did 23 fleckerls with zero disqualifications, and Dianne did 24 with one disqualification, so they are now joint top of the leaderboard.</div><div>- Karen is envious of what Luba has and wants to become her... in this week's pro dance.</div><div>- This week's pro dance will also have a rotating stage.</div><div>- Flavia can't say 'fantasmagorical'.</div><div>- Flavia would have liked to see more drive in Ranvir's Viennese waltz and more technique in Jamie's jive.</div><div>- HRVY has an ideal body for ballroom because he has a long neck and sloping shoulders.</div><div>- Dianne uses eyeshadow with no pigment whatsoever.</div><div>- Emma Barton's salsa apparently qualifies as an iconic make-up look.</div><div>- Jamie thinks that running around with a desk should be an Olympic sport. </div><div>- Jamie Campbell thinks Jamie Laing did a fab job.</div><div>- Jamie is doing a quickstep to a song that sounds like the 'Pancake Madness' song from <i>Sabrina The Teenage Witch</i>.</div><div>- Karen wants to feed chickens in their quickstep.</div><div>- They're also dancing a salsa to 'Last Dance', how subtle.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Wednesday</h4><div>- Bill's heel leads need some work.</div><div>- Ian thinks HRVY 'was only a beginner a couple of months ago'. Mmmm-hmmmmm.</div><div>- Jamie isn't yet going up and down at the same time as Karen in their quickstep.</div><div>- Ranvir's jive training footage looks baaaad.</div><div>- The fabric for HRVY and Janette's American smooth outfits sprayed sequins everywhere when it was cut and required a lot of vacuuming upwards.</div><div>- Men's tailoring is expensive, so Vicky Gill repurposes and reuses a lot of it.</div><div>- The wardrobe team use approximately 2 million 'sparkles' across a series.</div><div>- Amy's charleston skirt had a lot of fringing removed at the last minute, and JJ's waistcoat colour was changed.</div><div>- Neil did 26 fleckerls and had two disqualified, which puts him top of the leaderboard with 24.</div><div>- Maisie and Gorka are doing neither the Argentine Tango nor the rumba this series, despite being the most likely couple to do them well, what the fuck. (We're getting more street commercial instead yay).</div><div>- The rumba is allegedly most pros' favourite dance despite the fact no-one chooses to do one.</div><div>- The key to rumba is imagining you have an apple under your armpit.</div><div>- Jamie gets Ian's sticker for "Most Improved" this week.</div><div>- As Ian didn't get to drag up for Halloween this year, he'll be donning Christmas fancy dress instead and the possible costumes look shit, what's the point.</div><div>- The jive was Maisie's favourite dance so far.</div><div>- Gorka and Gemma wear the same size shoes, so sometimes he borrows hers.</div><div>- Maisie's stamina is "not the best" - she is "not very cardiovascular".</div><div>- Maisie and Gorka did their jive 14 times in an hour last Thursday.</div><div>- Khloe Kardashian is a Maisie fan, which Maisie finds a bit weird.</div><div>- Gorka knows how to make Craig happy, but he is not sure he would be allowed to do that on television.</div><div>- Maisie loves street commercial, Gorka does not. Still not too late to switch it for an Argentine tango, Gorks.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Thursday</h4><div><br /></div><div>- Maisie has tripped Gorka up a few times in training for the Viennese waltz. Apparently he is very "dramatic" when it happens.</div><div>- Ranvir would like to pretend it's hard learning a waltz straight off the back of its Viennese version.</div><div>- Ranvir is a bit sad that she hasn't had time to enjoy how well her Viennese waltz went.</div><div>- Ranvir is now the highest-placing <i>Good Morning Britain</i> presenter in <i>Strictly </i>history. We aren't allowed to count Susanna because she was still on <i>Breakfast </i>at the time.</div><div>- Giovanni likes to boast about his Guinness world records.</div><div>- Giovanni thinks their jive 'will be better than people think it's going to be'. </div><div>- Vicky Gill's bookkeeper is called Janet.</div><div>- Giovanni hasn't won the pro challenge, because he scored 24 fleckerls with two disqualifications. </div><div>- Bill has never seen a phantom with a beard, but he thinks it suits the character because he's "a single man with a few issues".</div><div>- Bill never complains, so Oti has to force him to the physio to get checked.</div><div>- Bill looked like a <i>Blue Peter</i> presenter in the late 70s/early 80s.</div><div>- Bill has tried doing Instagram Stories but he can't get the volume up on his phone.</div><div>- Bill's real name is Mark, but "Bill" stuck after one of his teachers kept referencing the song 'Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey?'</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Friday</h4><div><br /></div><div>- Maisie has survived her week from hell, thanks to a lot of coffee and energy drinks.</div><div>- This week's Friday panel is Mel Giedroyc, Judi Love and Mollie King.</div><div>- Mel thinks this series has been 'a ruddy beacon'.</div><div>- Mel thinks HRVY might win.</div><div>- Ranvir gives Judi goosebumps.</div><div>- People apparently love a Viennese Waltz. Not me. And not least because after however many years of blogging, I can still never spell it correctly.</div><div>- Mel would like to see Bill do something a bit special with his hair in the tango.</div><div>- HRVY thinks a rumba is just a slow cha cha.</div><div>- HRVY and Janette's charleston involves a lot of props and scenery.</div><div>- Nadiya isn't fazed by fleckerls.</div><div>- Graziano did 32 (!) fleckerls with 14 disqualifications, leaving him with 18. Nadiya did 25 fleckerls with zero disqualifications, and is this year's record-breaking champion!</div><div>- Ranvir texts Giovanni just after 3am each morning.</div><div>- Rylan cares not for the 'rumba is difficult for men' line, huzzah.</div><div>- Mel thinks Jamie and Karen are going home, Mollie also thinks Jamie and Karen, and Judi thinks Jamie and Karen too, making it a clean sweep.</div><div>- Beverley Knight has a Christmas song out.</div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-80891445522199811582020-12-07T21:00:00.002+00:002020-12-12T16:45:35.861+00:00JJ KO-ed<p><b>Week 7: Top 6 Results (Musicals Week) - 6 December 2020</b></p><p>As we spent all of our pro-dance capital last night, we're straight into the arrival of Tess and Claudia this evening. Daly Dresswatch: a strapless blousy black top such as you might see on a particularly sexy pirate, paired with black trousers. What Winkleman's Wearing: a black pleather top with a massive bow, and also black trousers. That's a lot of black, is what I'm saying.</p><a name='more'></a>There may be no pro dance tonight, but it is still Musicals Week, so before we get on with the business of sending one more couple home, it's time for a guest performance from the cast of one of the many West End musicals that had to shut up shop during the pandemic: <i>& Juliet</i>. Neither Tess nor Claudia explains that, despite the Shakespearean framing, this is a Max Martin jukebox musical, so I imagine many viewers were a bit perplexed by what follows. Still, at least we get William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway (Oliver Tompsett and Cassidy Janson!), of last night's Terms And Conditions fame, to do the set-up for us, explaining that this is a show that considers what might have happened if Juliet hadn't died at the end of <i>Romeo And Juliet</i> - and then we see Juliet singing 'Problem' by Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalea, and Romeo singing 'Can't Feel My Face' by The Weeknd. I must admit I had no idea that either of those songs were Max Martin, so hurrah for the BBC's commitment to educating and informing the public.<p></p><p>Afterwards, Claudia returns and clarifies that all of the performers were tested for COVID in order to be here and perform the number. I did wonder exactly how they were getting around the social-distancing rules, I assumed the entire ensemble probably wasn't bubbling together. Tess reminds us that HRVY and Janette topped the leaderboard again last night, and the judges make their re-entrance and all three of them are in black too. Did I miss a memo or something?</p><p>Onward to the recap of Saturday night's performances, now with extra added Bruno. In terms of previously unseen content, Ranvir says that her performance felt great, and Giovanni agrees that it was beautiful. Karen says that Jamie always surprises her when they get out on the dance floor and gives it 150%. Bill is quite happy to take "phantasmagorical" as a compliment from Craig. Bruno chips in that JJ just wants to have fun, and that charleston was "a ride" (oh aye). JJ says that he gave everything he could, and it has been a tough week - Amy says he was fab-yew-lous. Maisie and Gorka are incredulous about getting another 10 from Shirley. <i>[I mean, it's a 10 from Shirley, the only thing with less value are 10s from Bruno. And the Donny 10, obviously - Rad]</i> Bruno says that HRVY took on the ultimate theatrical showstopper and won, while HRVY and Janette are shocked about their two tens. </p><p>And so we come to Tess and her ever-shrinking collection of Cue Cards Of Doom. The first couple through to the semi final is HRVY and Janette, and the second couple through is Ranvir and Giovanni. The first couple in the dance-off is... Jamie and Karen. Huh, I guess not as many people were talking about Jamie as we were led to believe. Jamie says that everyone is so good, and he made mistakes in his routine, so it makes sense that he's in the dance-off - he's going to try to correct it second time around. Tess asks Motsi what Jamie should do to get through to the semi-final, and she counsels him to control his nerves better and enjoy the performance and generally burn the dance floor. But not literally, the insurance won't allow it.</p><p>Claudia notes that her chatterpillar is much smaller these days - "you could say it's an ant" - and HRVY and Janette are up first. Janette says that it's one thing to have the talent, but it's another thing to keep pushing yourself every week, which HRVY does. Then Claudia breaks the news that we all wanted to hear: we're finally getting a rumba next week! HRVY says that he knows the rumba is all about hips and waves his arms about in a vaguely rumba-ish way, and honestly at this point? I'll take it. Claudia sends them onwards, and Ranvir and Giovanni take their place - Ranvir remembers finding the launch show really hard, and now she's a semi-finalist. Giovanni tells her to feel proud of herself because she's started "from maybe less than zero" but she's growing every single week. Claudia moves the topic of conversation to Ranvir's son, who apparently now wants his ears pierced so he can be more like Giovanni. Hey, you just wait until he asks for that BORN TO WIN tattoo, that's when it's going to get really awkward.</p><p>Next up is West End star Marisha Wallace singing 'Climb Every Mountain'. Nothing against Marisha or her performance of the song, but hearing it in isolation like this makes me realise how much of the song's effectiveness is due to its placement in the narrative of <i>The Sound Of Music</i>. Here, it just feels a bit plodding and dirgey and also uncannily like 'You'll Never Walk Alone' as well? <i>[The sound mixing seemed fucked, too, I could barely hear her for the first half - Rad]</i> Again, though, nothing against Marisha: I saw her in <i>Waitress </i>and she was great and I even got her autograph at the stage door afterwards. Anton and Dianne dance in front of Marisha, and I bet Neil, Graziano, Nancy and Nadiya are so happy they went to all the trouble of forming a bubble only to be cast aside as soon as some members of the A-team were freed up.</p><p>Onward to Dance Debrief, and first Bruno is asked to talk about HRVY, where he once again says that HRVY took on one of the most iconic showstoppers in musical theatre, and he won. He goes on to quote the "you've either got it or you ain't" line from <i>Gypsy</i> and confirms that HRVY is definitely in the former category. Bruno also picks up on Craig's comment about how looking at HRVY is like looking in the mirror, and informs Craig that his mirror is cracked. Wow, I didn't even know the library was open tonight. Shirley is asked to expand on her comments about JJ's opposite arm and leg movement, which she does, mostly through the medium of movement. Motsi talks a bit more about Ranvir and how moving and #relatable her performance was. Claudia points out that Craig has given Bill an 8 for six weeks in a row and asks what he needs to do to get a 9. The answer, unsurprisingly, is "get your technique right". Craig loves that Bill has his own style of dancing, but as a judge he needs to judge from a technical capacity. He is, however, desperate to get his 9 out for Bill. We close with a moment of Bruno holding a tissue over his face and pretending to be the Phantom of the Opera. Well, lockdown has been hard on all of us.</p><p>So, who else is safe and back next week? According to Tess and her Cue Cards Of Doom, Bill and Oti are. So that leaves Maisie and Gorka and JJ and Amy waiting to hear which of them is in the dance-off. The couple in the bottom two is... JJ and Amy, and Maisie and Gorka look <i>very </i>relieved because I think they were both mentally preparing themselves to have to do that jive again. Maisie and Gorka shuffle out as JJ and Amy head on over to Tess. Tess asks what's going through JJ's mind, and he says mostly the fact that he made it this far at all, but also that this was an amazing routine and he's going to go out there and give it his best crack. Well, that gets my vote. Tess asks Shirley to give him some pointers, and Shirley says she's not worried about JJ because he's a military man who knows how to get the job done. Sure, the armed forces, light entertainment, those are the same thing.</p><p>Tess throws over to Claudia and the diminishing chatterpillar, where Maisie and Gorka are up first. Claudia notes that Maisie looked like she was resigned to yet another dance-off, and Maisie says that this is a scary point in the competition because it could be anyone, but she's very glad it wasn't her this week. Claudia notes that in order to take part in this series, Maisie has been living by herself for the very first time, and politely asks what kind of state Maisie's pad is in seven weeks in; Maisie says that she came into this thinking she would be fine and that she could clean and cook, but has since discovered that she can do neither of those things and frankly it's a blessing on all of us that she's the only person allowed in there. This coming week she has four full days of filming at <i>EastEnders </i>plus learning two dances, and Maisie admits that they haven't fully worked out the schedule yet but there may well be some 11pm finishes in there.</p><p>The chatterpillar ends with Bill and Oti, and Bill says he hasn't been this tense since he was getting his O Level results. He goes on to describe how his middle toes seem to decline to take part in the <i>Strictly </i>process<i>, </i>and they like to go and have a nap while the others take up the slack. This coming week, he and Oti will be dancing a tango to 'Enter Sandman' by Metallica, and I don't know about the rest of you but <i>I cannot wait</i>.</p><p>Following our inevitable reminder that <i>Strictly </i>remains available on many other formats including <i>It Takes Two</i>, the podcast, Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok, Nokia NGage, Atari Jaguar and PC Engine. Oh, and that Drag Queens thing on BBC3 is still happening as well. (I watched this shortly after having seen <i>God Shave The Queens</i>, in which Blu Hydrangea's main storyline was trying to perform in a show while having the squits, so now I can't quite look at this segment in the same way any more.)</p><p>I've just realised that our bottom two for this week are the couple that opened the show and the couple that closed it. That's novel. JJ and Amy reprise their charleston first, and it's still pleasantly springy but still suffers the same pacing problems as before (not that I can really think how I expected JJ and Amy to fix that in a matter of hours). Also there's a section towards the end that I'm pretty sure goes wrong because they don't appear to be moving in harmony at all, but overall it's a solid attempt at making a case for them to get another week, since I can't help thinking that whoever survives this one is pretty much guaranteed to go home in the semis anyway. <i>[I enjoyed this more on a second viewing, I was maybe a bit harsh on it first time round - Rad]</i></p><p>Following them, Jamie and Karen reprise their jive, and are still not in drag. I'd vote to send them home just for that! Jamie has upped the energy level for this second outing, largely at the expense of the technique as far as I can tell, as his legs seem to have lost all sense of direction at certain moments. I suspect I know who's going (JJ), but I think there's a case to be made either way here, so it'll be interesting to see who the judges favour. <i>[I think they know Jamie has no public vote (except for me) and is therefore no threat, whereas JJ could rebound and end up in the final, so it's pretty obvious - Rad]</i></p><p>With the dancing done and dusted, it's over to the judges to cast their votes. Craig thinks both couples "danced to the best of their abilities" (miaow), but the couple that he would like to see go through to the semi-final is Jamie and Karen. Motsi thinks we saw two different dancing styles with their own qualities, but she saw a little hiccup with one dance, so she votes to save JJ and Amy. So once again, Shirley gets the deciding vote - she adored both performances, but thought both couples made small mistakes. However, on grounds of difficulty of choreography and sheer determination, she votes to save Jamie, so JJ and Amy are out.</p><p>JJ tells Tess he never thought he would make it this far, and he thinks he might have got half-decent at something he used to have no clue about. He thinks it's a privilege to be here, particularly at this stage, with such tough competition. We look at his best bits montage, which mostly consist of him being sweet, genial and competent with occasional bouts of absolute mercenary levels of pandering to the military and/or Scottish votes. He feels like the sort of contestant we don't really get that much of any more - the one who is neither brilliant nor terrible, but tries hard and makes it close to the end without ever really emerging as a serious threat for the title. The Carol Smillie type. I've enjoyed his journey, anyway, and frankly it's just been nice to see Amy having such a lovely time too. <i>[They were the most 'wholesome' couple, which is no bad thing - Rad]</i> JJ adds that the whole thing has been well outside his comfort zone, and he can't express what Amy means to him - she's lived through a lot in her own right (and if you were clueless on this front as I was until this weekend, Amy has Crohn's disease and is therefore more vulnerable than average in the current pandemic) and has lived in fear that she would get ill and let him down. He assures her that she could never let him down, and given that it's Musicals Week I almost expect him to burst into 'You Could Never Shame Me' from <i>Kiss Of The Spider Woman</i>. (Hey, when is someone going to do <i>that</i> for Musicals Week? You could do a samba to 'Gimme Love', or an American smooth to 'She's A Woman', and I reckon the title track would make a decent paso with the right choreography behind it.) Amy tells JJ that it's been an honour to be his partner and also his friend, and she thinks that working with him has made her a better person. She says she is very proud of every single step he has taken on the dance floor, and this has made her fall more in love with <i>Strictly </i>when she didn't think she could.</p><p>JJ says that the silver lining in all of this is that he gets to go home and see his family, which is fair enough. Tess dispatches him and Amy to take their last dance, and Claudia tells us that Little Mix will be performing on the results show next week. Aw, that'll be nice for them: appearing on a BBC1 reality show that can actually crack over a million viewers. JJ and Amy have a very jolly final dance to 'Thank You For The Music', and we're out. Join Rad next week for Two Dance Week<i> [Whyyyyyyy is it always me that does two dance week? - Rad] </i>and our first (and presumably also last) rumba of 2020!</p><p></p>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-48508706858784668542020-12-06T16:12:00.005+00:002020-12-06T17:51:01.977+00:00Re-opening night<p><b>Week 7: Top 6 Perform (Musicals Week) - 5 December 2020</b></p><p>So if you were wondering why Andrew Lloyd Webber <a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/12/this-week-on-it-takes-two-we-have-learnt.html">turned up for the Friday panel on </a><i><a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/12/this-week-on-it-takes-two-we-have-learnt.html">It Takes Two</a> </i>this week only to barely get two sentences out because he was on the same episode as Tom Allen, the beginning of tonight's episode helps to contextualise things a little more: in honour of Musicals Week, we get a special VT fronted by Lord Eyebags himself, sombrely reminding us that the 'rona has been devastating for the theatre and live music industries. Although personally I would argue that <i>Love Never Dies </i>alone did far more damage to musical theatre than COVID-19 ever could. (Yes, I saw <i>Love Never Dies</i>. In fact, I am one of the very few people who went to see <i>Love Never Dies </i>despite having never seen <i>The Phantom Of The Opera</i>. I had my reasons.) <span></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p>He's in the London Coliseum, the home of English National Opera (and also one of the goddamn coldest theatres I've ever been to in my life, seriously, if you're ever going, wear some extra layers), ostensibly to watch each of our couples do a little dance on the stage, although whether any of these people were genuinely there at the same time as him is...well, let's just say "unproven". HRVY says he misses going to the theatre and can't wait until he can go again (does HRVY strike you as a regular theatregoer, I can't say I'm convinced).<i> [On ITT he said he'd never even seen a musical in a theatre, though I guess he could be into plays - Rad]</i> Jamie predicts that this week will be "glamour and sparkles and joy", at which point Andrew declares that Jamie is "a star", which reminds me very much of <i>Strictly</i>'s first-ever first boot Jason Wood <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Wood_(comedian)">publicising his Edinburgh show</a>. JJ says that Musicals Week is the full package, and Bill says that they get to put on costumes and act out characters. In an edit-heavy clip reminiscent of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8uM0zOBuSw">Homer Simpson talking about Ashley Grant's sweet, sweet can</a>, Andrew says that he's going to have to get Bill on stage when the theatres open up again. Ranvir says that the theatre industry is on its knees at the moment (oh, she's heard those rumours about Jay McGuiness too then) and this will be a real tribute to those people. Andrew says that <i>Strictly </i>paying tribute to musical theatre is exactly what we need, and Maisie says it's an honour that they get to put on a show for the whole nation.</p><p>Titles! I'm still so upset that Caroline and Johannes didn't make it to Musicals Week, though I suppose they anticipated it on some level and got it out of the way in Movie Week.</p><p>We open with the hotly-anticipated <i>Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert </i>number, where Anton of all people has been placed atop the bus with a trailing cape and asked to look full of the joys of alternative lifestyles, and if you're telling me that Anton doesn't make "bums against the wall, lads" jokes on the regular then I can only assume you are a sweet and trusting person who is too pure for this terrible world. It begins with all the pros wearing denim cut-offs and flannel and that sort of thing, dancing to 'Go West', before Johannes, Giovanni and Gorka retreat behind the bus and emerge in drag to dance to 'Finally' by CeCe Peniston. Obviously Johannes is the star, but I will say that Gorka makes a surprisingly femme drag queen and Giovanni doesn't scrub up too badly either. Anyway, I have officially headcanoned that this entire routine is the sequel to the <a href="https://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/11/maxed-out.html">supermarket-themed pro dance</a> where Johannes cruised Daddy Gorka, obviously they swapped numbers, one thing led to another and now they're in a throuple with Giovanni and running a travelling drag show together with a whole bunch of gaybies in the back of the van, and I for one am happy that this show is offering the queer youths of today a glimpse of what you can achieve if you're willing to work for it. Also, there are not one, not two but <i>three </i>same sex couples in this routine: Johannes and Aljaž, Gorka and Graziano, and Giovanni and... the guy with the silvery hair whose name I do not know, sorry. Anyway, hooray for the gays, and boo to all the homophobes and transphobes who went straight on the internet to claim that this was not suitable for family viewing, you are wrong and your life must truly be awful if you devote this much of it to ensuring other people don't get to live authentically.</p><p>Tess and Claudia arrive. Daly Dresswatch: a black dress that stops several inches shy of the collar it's attached to by placket alone. What Winkleman's Wearing: a simple but effective white trouser suit. Now that the stage is set, Tess declares that it's time to let the critics in, so we bring on the judges: Shirley Ballas in a sky-blue off-the-shoulder dress, Motsi Mabuse in a black dress with a ruffle so large it could cover the entire borough of Southwark, and Craig Revel Horwood in a grey velvet tuxedo. Claudia reminds us that just six couples remain, and here they are: JJ and Amy, Maisie and Gorka, Ranvir and Giovanni, Jamie and Karen, HRVY and Janette, and Bill and Oti. The most important thing to note is that Jamie is not in drag despite the fact that his routine is based on <i>Everybody's Talking About Jamie</i>, and I think he deserves to go home for that alone tbh. </p><h4 style="text-align: left;">JJ & Amy as Caractacus Pott(s) & Truly Scrumptious</h4><div><br /></div><div>JJ and Amy are opening the show this week, and in their VT Amy informs JJ that it's "Musical Week" (yes, in the singular), and they have a <i>Chitty Chitty Bang Bang</i>-themed charleston, which is perfect. JJ says he's done some serious and moody pieces lately, but this is much more light-hearted and closer to his own personality. But it's a very tricky dance because it's all feet and arms and gurning, which he's not used to. Still, it seems to be going well in rehearsals, so much so that they have time to goof off and drive a replica Chitty around Elstree Studios. </div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to [Beanie Feldstein voice] the titular song, and I had my concerns about how this routine would go, but on the whole I think JJ dances it pretty well - there's some decent swivel in there, he's light on his feet, and he gets some good elevation on the jumps. He can't quite make up his mind whether he's singing along or not, though, and it does all feel a bit disjointed at times, like you can see him transitioning between each individual step of choreography. I think it lacks a little energy, at least by the general standards of charleston on this show, and that's why it feels, to me, like it goes on far longer than it should. Also, I spent the whole routine mentally singing along with <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuhEb_iXIxE">these lyrics</a>, which was quite distracting. <i>[I didn't love it but I was still glad to see another Charleston this series rather than more Couple's Choice - Rad]</i></div><p>Tess thanks Dave Arch and his live singers for their contribution to the evening, and Shirley opens for the judges by saying that her heart was going with the whole thing. She hadn't realised how long JJ's legs are, and he did a great job of co-ordinating his arms and feet and executing the simple choreography. Motsi liked seeing his fun side and his smile - she thinks his acting skills have improved, and he never missed a beat - but he needs to be careful not to fully stop in the 'stopping' moments and continue those movements through his spine. She thinks he's a new JJ, though. Craig agrees with Motsi that it was too stop-and-start for his preference, and JJ needs to kick the back of his heel up more on the basic charleston steps. He thinks the characterisation was good, but JJ could have hammed it up more. Craig loved the elevation in the jumps, though.</p><p>Amy chirps "well done, Mr Potts!" on the way up to the Clauditorium, and once they arrive, Claudia asks him what it was like to open the quarter-finals in Musicals Week - and JJ points out that actually the pros opened this week's show with their amazing routine. What a gent! He was determined to go out there and have fun, and he really enjoyed getting into the character. Amy says that the physio team said today that he's doing moves that should be impossible, and she can't believe how far he's come since the beginning. Scores: Craig 6, Shirley 7, Motsi 7 for a total of 20, and so the gradual deramping of JJ begins. <i>[Oh gosh yeah, spoiler alert, but tonight was massively about separating the ringers from the jurnee contestants, score-wise - Rad]</i></p><p>Doing this week's terms and conditions, Anne Hathaway (no, not that one) and William Shakespeare from <i>& Juliet</i>, featuring a lot of fairly laboured gags about anachronisms.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Ranvir & Giovanni as Jenna Hunterson & Dr Jim Pomatter</h4><div><br /></div><div>Tess opens this routine by saying that <i>Waitress</i> is the story of one woman's journey of self-discovery, and how that's something Ranvir knows all about. This show is really committing to erasing 90% of the show's storyline - such as the lead character becoming pregnant by her abusive husband, trying to win a competition to make enough money to leave him and take the baby with her, and conducting a clandestine affair with her gynaecologist p- just so they can smear a generic female empowerment narrative on it for Ranvir's benefit, huh?</div><div><br /></div><div>And if you thought that sounded like a very Couple's Choice VT intro, then a very Couple's Choice VT is what we're getting, even though Ranvir is actually doing a Viennese waltz this week. They're dancing to 'She Used To Be Mine', and Ranvir describes her character as someone who "slowly but surely grows in confidence" and, again, we're omitting quite a significant amount of the plot there just so we can all gasp at how incredibly apt this is for Ranvir's journey on <i>Strictly Come Dancing</i>. Ranvir says that doing the show has made her confront how she thinks about herself, because she has to feel braver about her body every week after hiding it under a big coat for 20 years. She says it's lovely to realise there are so many women and mums watching the show who are recognising themselves in her journey. Anyone else starting to feel like we're gearing up for a Ranvir win here? <i>[Possibly - I still think Bill because of how much I hear people talk about him, but as the wheels are slowly coming off the Bailey train she's becoming a close contender. Now she needs to do a grotfest rumba please - Rad] </i>I'm just saying this feels very similar to what they did with Little Mix on their series of <i>The X Factor</i>. Ranvir's family talk about how proud they are of her for doing this alongside her day job, and Ranvir talks about how much she loves her son and how being a single mum means she has to work twice as hard. She wants to do a beautiful dance this week to thank everyone for supporting her, and to prove to herself that she deserves to be here.</div><div><br /></div><div>This dance, and this concept, were always going to play to Ranvir's strengths and that is very much how it plays out: it's soft, tender, romantic, a little bittersweet and genuinely beautiful to watch. Also I keep thinking about how much I cried when I saw Kat McPhee perform this song in the West End. (Almost as much as I cried when I saw how much money Kat McPhee donated to the Republican Party.) </div><div><br /></div><div>Ranvir's clearly quite moved by the whole experience, as is Giovanni. Motsi says that she was moved by Ranvir's words in her VT and every mum can understand what she was talking about, but she's more emotionally connected to Ranvir's dancing, and she loved Ranvir's standing spin. Craig loved the storytelling - apart from the pastry-rolling at the beginning. He loved her frame and her backbend, but the running away looked messy - she needs to run away like a dancer, and remember to spot when she spins back in. Shirley says she was captivated by the whole performance, and feels like Ranvir has found herself. She thinks Ranvir's fleckerl was the best one she's seen on <i>Strictly</i> (is it just me, or is "the best one I've ever seen on <i>Strictly"</i> being thrown around with such regularity this series that it's starting to lose all meaning?), and reiterates how much she loves Ranvir's frame.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the Clauditorium, Ranvir says that a friend of hers advised her to dance with her heart and her feet will follow, and that's what she really tried to do tonight. Claudia says that every weekend after the show, Ranvir Facetimes her niece Kyra - but they've got her on the line now early, as a treat! Kyra has clearly inherited her aunt's ease at speaking on the telly, and tells Ranvir how fabulous and elegant she was tonight. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 9, Motsi 9 for a total of 27. Claudia says that Ranvir has never danced before. That's so weird, because I could've sworn I've watched her dance for the last six weeks?</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Maisie & Gorka as Audrey Fulquard & Seymour Krelborn</h4><div><br /></div><div>This week's VT gives us a bit of a day in the life of Maisie, including her waking up at 9am. 9am! I mean, if you're going to follow on immediately from Ranvir's story of being a hardworking single mum who gets up in the small hours to present breakfast television, maybe don't rub in how much more of a lie-in you get in comparison. This week, they've got a jive to 'Little Shop Of Horrors' from <i>Little Shop Of Horrors</i>, and Maisie continues running us through her schedule: they practise the routine non-stop and stop for a bite to eat around 2pm or 3pm, then get straight back to work. She gets home and goes to bed at 11:45pm, so I guess that justifies the 9am alarm a little more.<i> [Since working from home full-time I'm way more on Maisie's side here - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>First of all, I'm not saying that these two have figured out what the voters want and that's why the routine opens with Gorka bending over as he cleans the window of the flower shop, but I'm not <i>not </i>saying it. Speaking of giving us what we want: this is a <i>really </i>good jive. Like, I'm almost afraid to say it, but perhaps Halfpenny-level good? It's extremely clean, precise, light and there are so many rhythm changes and Maisie nails all of them. And on top of all of that, she's got the character down perfectly too. The only issue I have with it? The AR inclusion of Audrey II at the end, largely because neither Maisie nor Gorka responds to it in any tangible way so it feels a bit... odd. But otherwise: yep, brilliant. <i>[It really was great, and maybe the only jive I've properly enjoyed this series, though I still preferred their quickstep and think it was robbed of 30 last week - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Maisie and Gorka are both gasping for breath, and Craig compliments Maisie on her energy and her musicality. This is one of his favourite musicals, and he loves this character ("she's hard done by, but then meets the love of her life" - I notice that we're leaving out the part where she dies?). Shirley agrees that Maisie smashed it - she did a 360-spin with grace, and Shirley particularly loved Maisie's lovely ladylike feet. Motsi finishes by saying that the rhythmical changes in the routine were so difficult, but Maisie pulled them off while always maintaining the character and a sense of play.</div><div><br /></div><div>Up in the Clauditorium, Gorka grins that he got so excited that his glasses ended up on upside down. Maisie says that she was particularly nervous today because she wanted to make Gorka proud because he believes in her so much, and the fact that it went to plan makes her so happy. Maisie reiterates that it's an honour to be here and putting on a show, and she's very grateful. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 9 for a total of 28. Motsi inadvertently pulls off an amazing fake-out by taking a while to pull her paddle out so you think she's about to give it a 10, but actually she's just got it stuck under the desk and it's actually a 9, lol. Gorka does his pouty "votes please!" face which I love, it's so adorkable, especially when he's dressed like that.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Bill & Oti as The Phantom Of The Opera and Christine Daaé</h4><div><br /></div><div>After a preview of tonight's remaining three dances, which reveals that Jamie will be in the pimp slot tonight, it's over to Bill and Oti with an Argentine tango. Last week's jive had a few hiccups, and being left to the very end to be declared safe reminded Bill that they're at the point of the competition where things are genuinely getting tough. Once again they are dancing to the title song (indeed, only Ranvir and HRVY aren't dancing to the title songs of their respective shows tonight, and that's because neither show actually has a titular song), and Oti reminds Bill how important it is to stay in character. Bill says that he doesn't want to be "an apologetic Phantom" and this segues into a comedy VT where Bill Bailey asks Phantom Bill if Phantom Bill has any advice for him. Phantom Bill tells him that he needs to have presence, command of the situation, attitude, and to look like he lives in a lair. So that's that then. Oti explains that the Argentine tango isn't about anger, but it's about power in silence. Bill says there's a lot to try to portray through a cloak and a half-mask. Oti says she really wants to see Bill take charge and lead the dance.</div><div><br /></div><div>There's a lot of dry ice on display at the beginning, as you'd probably expect for a <i>Phantom</i>-themed number. Regrettably, this song isn't any better a fit for the Argentine tango than it was the night that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idrjJHAZ7to">Davood</a> tried it - let's be honest, at best it's a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7L1ZYnpwb4">paso</a> <i>[it's clearly a paso, it was such a stupid choice to front-load all the pasos rather than give us one for Musicals or NotBlackpool - Rad]</i>, but it's not an Argentine tango (also fuck me, Kara was good, wasn't she?). Bill's doing his best at the intensity side of things but unfortunately his Phantom does indeed come off as a little hesitant and apologetic, so there isn't really any of the tension or the staccato movement that an Argentine tango really needs to come alive. Even Oti seems to be struggling with this one a little bit? It's not been a great series for Argentine tangos so far, it really hasn't. Although I suppose it's still a better series than it has been for rumbas, mumble grumble.</div><div><br /></div><div>There's a notable lack of standing ovations for this routine compared to all the others tonight, and Shirley opens by saying that it's much easier for a male professional dancer to lead a celebrity lady than it is for a celebrity man to lead a female professional dancer, but she thought Bill did a good job on that front nonetheless. She noticed that he was off-balance at the end too, but he pulled it back. Motsi says she was nervous about the prospect of Bill dancing an Argentine tango, but she thinks he pulled it back - she loved seeing how he used his feet and how he took Oti in the frame. She would have liked to see him being a bit softer up top, but she thinks she didn't need to be so nervous after all. Craig says there was a sticky moment during the rondé when his weight went onto the wrong leg, but he had complete command of the dance and he thought it was phantasmagorical. Thanks, Craig, for coming up with adjectives that I have to look up how to spell, is my life not hard enough already? Tess tells Bill that Andrew Lloyd Webber wants him to start on Monday, as his fragility could really redefine the role of the Phantom. Or something.</div><div><br /></div><div>Claudia gives a shout out to Hayley and Tommy for singing that, and Bill says he enjoyed the theatricality of the character. There's a video message for Bill from OG Phantom Michael Crawford, who wanted to wish them the best of luck, and saying that playing the Phantom was one of the best things he's ever done in his life. He knows that Bill can do it, because he's amazing. Aww. Bill seems genuinely touched. Scores: eights all round for a total of 24.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">HRVY & Janette as... idk, let's just say they're Mike Costa & Cassie Ferguson, does it even matter, isn't the whole point that the characters we know as individuals become anonymous members of an ensemble anyway</h4><div><br /></div><div>Last week HRVY got the first prfct scr of the series, and now Janette tells him that they're doing an American smooth to 'One Singular Sensation' from <i>A Chorus Line</i>. Cue me screaming at the screen repeatedly throughout this entire VT that the song is just called 'One', not 'One Singular Sensation'. HRVY has never seen <i>A Chorus Line</i>, so Janette gets the movie for him. (I watched the movie with my flatmates in the first year of uni and didn't really get what all the fuss was about tbh.) HRVY says he needs to bring the feel of the film to the dancefloor. They work very hard on technique and footwork all week, and HRVY hopes that they can nail it on the night.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're in matching gold sparkly tailcoats, and while I'm getting super-pedantic about <i>A Chorus Line</i>, I would just like to express my annoyance over the indecision in the pronouns in the band's rendition of 'One'. I think they should have just stuck with 'he' throughout, but they alternate between 'he' and 'she', presumably so as not to leave Janette out, but like, the song is called 'One', not 'Two', so just pick a pronoun and stick with it for 90 seconds, it's not that hard. (Unless they're trying to make it a non-binary anthem, but I don't think that was the intention.) HRVY slips briefly right before they take hold, and there's a moment where he loses his balance ever so slightly after a spin, but for the most part this is a very slick performance. I wish he wasn't letting the concentration show quite so much on his face, but otherwise it's pretty hard to fault it. Also, Janette remains capable of just the most <i>ridiculous </i>acts of gravity denial, what is that woman even made of. <i>[It was a great choice for Musicals Week - in fact, I think they made much better, and more diverse, musicals choices all round this year than usual, Bill and Oti's dance aside - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Also, 'One' just absolutely slaps, doesn't it? I'm not that big a fan of <i>A Chorus Line </i>in general, I think it sounds <i>really </i>dated now, but that track remains an absolute bop.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tess declares HRVY the king of lifts now, and Motsi says she just needs to calm herself down before she delivers her verdict. She says the choreography really challenged HRVY, and they knew he was a fabulous talent from the beginning, but he isn't sitting on his talents - he's showing his skill and taking risks, because if he'd missed one step it would have all crumbled. She thinks it was the dance of the season, nay, the <i>decade</i>. Craig says that HRVY missed the timing of the double chainé and was a little bit early at the end, but he thinks it's like looking in the mirror because HRVY is a triple threat, and he's considering changing his name to CRH. Not CRG? Shirley completes things by telling HRVY that he brought theatre to the show tonight, and also mentions that it's Janette's first time in the quarter-final - which it isn't, because she made the semis with Jake Wood back in 2014. (However, Janette making the final for the very first time seems like a distinct possibility, and I notice how muted that storyline is compared to every time Anton's come within sniffing distance of it.) Shirley compliments Janette on her choreography, and tells HRVY that he kept up well and even carried on despite a snafu with the hat.</div><div><br /></div><div>Up in the Clauditorium, Janette says that <i>A Chorus Line </i>was her first ever musical when she was 13, although I'm unsure whether she was on stage or just in the audience, Marge Simpson-style. HRVY says it's a dream come true to hear such nice comments, and he second-guesses himself a lot, but Janette always pulls him out of that. He says it's made his night to get such praise. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Motsi 10 for a total of 29.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Jamie & Karen as Jamie New & Pritti Pasha</h4><div><br /></div><div>Reflecting on last week's performance in his VT, Jamie says that he's gone from 17 for his first-ever ballroom to 24 for his tango, and Motsi adds that Jamie has developed so much and become dynamic on the dance floor. However, last week Jamie found himself back in the dance-off again - being saved by Shirley was such a relief, and he's going to keep going until there's nothing left in the tank.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're doing a jive to 'Everybody's Talking About Jamie' from <i>Everybody's Talking About Jamie </i>(or 'Everybody Is Talking About Jamie', as Jamie puts it) <i>[That made me snort so hard, bless him, I kind of want a Jamie/Viscountess spin-off now - Rad]</i>, and Karen explains that the musical is based on a true story, so they arrange a video call with Jamie Campbell, the real Jamie. Jamie C tells Jamie L about going to the prom in drag and how he wasn't even sure he was going to be let in. I'm glad they did at least acknowledge that the music is about a teenage drag queen, because after the bowdlerising that they did on <i>Waitress </i>earlier I was fully expecting this to also be something vaguely about "a young man growing in confidence". Jamie C goes on to explain to Jamie L that the song in the show comes after Jamie N (this is getting confusing) has just done his first drag show, and everyone at school is gossiping - so he just wants Jamie L to give it some sass. Jamie L wraps up by saying that it's a beautiful story with an amazing message, and they want to go out and make Jamie C proud.</div><div><br /></div><div>Which they do by not being in drag, at all. I mean, come on. I get that if you want to be contextualise it within the show then no, the character Jamie would not be in drag at this point, but given the desire to channel the message of the show, would a bit of glitter have been too much to ask for? Some eyeliner? A bit of blush, some contouring? At least make an <i>effort</i>, you know? <i>[I was RAGING. I mean, the outfits and settings for this song in the musical itself are exactly the same as the ones they used here, but since when did anyone care about accuracy in musicals week? - Rad]</i> Anyway, this getting the pimp slot seems more a result of HRVY and Maisie both having had it too recently to close the show again just yet, so Jamie gets it for narrative reasons because the routine itself is pretty workmanlike: it's a bit too into the ground, and there's an entire section where Jamie stands on a desk and Karen stands between his legs and the camera so we can't even see if he's doing the steps properly, for crying out loud. Also, I know there are extremely valid reasons for not having additional backing dancers for theme weeks this year, but I felt like this routine in particular suffered for their absence, because you just can't create that gossipy atmosphere with only two people. <i>[Yeah, it would have looked great with backing dancers. I enjoyed the performance of it and I love these two a lot, but I'm not going to pretend it was a good jive. Of the non-ringers, only Ranvir's had a good evening, really - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Tess asks Jamie if he ever thought he'd see his name up in lights and, he's been on television for nine years Tess, he's probably seen his name in lights on many occasions. Craig says he would have liked to see more technique (maybe he would have if Karen hadn't been in the way?) and a bit more retraction, but he is a powerhouse. Shirley says she got the musicality that she wanted, and she thought Jamie was light on his feet, but there was a misstep in the middle. She thought the choreography was great, and Jamie gave it 150%. Motsi loved the use of the props and the moving of them, and the fact that Jamie was light on his feet with his weight forward. She tells him to keep working on his technique - "trust me, it will come" - is that shade? It's Motsi, so I don't <i>think </i>so, but you never know.</div><div><br /></div><div>Up in the Clauditorium (this routine does not play back well in slo-mo by the way), the lighting is slightly different and I can't quite tell if Jamie's overdone the spray tan this week or if he's just red in the face from exertion. He was nervous about closing the show, and he says that he might come across confident but going last is very scary. Scores: Craig 8, Shirley 8, Motsi 8 for a total of 24.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;">Leaderboard</h4><div>1. HRVY & Janette - 29</div><div>2. Maisie & Gorka - 28</div><div>3. Ranvir & Giovanni - 27</div><div>4=. Bill & Oti - 24</div><div>4=. Jamie & Karen - 24</div><div>6. JJ & Amy - 20</div><div><br /></div><div>Claudia declares the vote well and truly open, and we review our six performances of the night. Coming up in the results show: Marisha Wallace sings 'Climb Ev'ry Mountain'! Join us for that, and the reveal of this year's semi-finalists...</div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-73506267437950490442020-12-05T18:04:00.000+00:002020-12-05T18:04:56.564+00:00This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...<h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Monday</u></h4><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">- The response to her elimination has reaffirmed Clara's faith in the goodness of humankind.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;">- Clara realised she was going wrong during the kicks section.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Aljaž is never going to leave. By 2084 it'll just be him, Anton and the cockroaches, dancing abominable sambas forever.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Aljaž wants HRVY to win because he's with Janette.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Luba doesn't think a woman will win the fleckerl pro challenge.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Luba managed 15 fleckerls with zero disqualifications, putting her currently in second place.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- We have a new segment where Ian and Gethin look at classic dances from the archive.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- It is jarringly weird to see the old judges' desk with them all crammed together.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Ian thinks Abbey did the best lady waltz ever on the show.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Gethin is still a bit bitter that he didn't win the Christmas special.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- And he seems to think getting 40 at Christmas counts, bless him.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Ian is very clear that it does not, however.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Gethin loves Nancy Dell'Olio's waltz. </div><div style="text-align: left;">- Gethin thinks Fiona Phillips loved doing this show, despite all evidence to the contrary.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Ranvir finds it weird that you don't really get a chance to speak to your partner after you've done the dance to find out if they were happy with it or not.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Giovanni basically confirmed that their lifts were low-key because things were going wrong in rehearsal.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Ranvir screams a lot.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Ranvir has never been a waitress. Zoe has, and she made good tips doing it.<span><a name='more'></a></span><h4 style="text-align: left;"><span><u>Tuesday</u></span></h4><div><span>- The Christmas songs have started, but the set is yet to be trimmed.</span></div><div><span>- Jamie is really bad at remembering when he has to bring fancy clothes to wear on <i>It Takes Two</i>.</span></div><div>- Karen does not approve of wearing shoes without socks.</div><div>- Karen was fuming for half an hour after their dance and Jamie was confused as to why, but it turns out it was because she knocked over a chess piece.</div><div>- Karen doesn't know how to play chess.</div><div>- Jamie decided their leg work at the chess table alone meant he'd at least get a 4.</div><div>- Karen thinks Jamie's musicality is fine but perhaps Shirley's comment meant he needed to elongate more.</div><div>- Jamie and Karen are jiving to 'Everybody's Talking About Jamie', and it shows restraint that the producers didn't throw that song choice on him earlier in the series. Also: my hopes are high for Jamie in drag. Also also: I was at the first press night of that show in its original run in Sheffield and it was one of the best theatre experiences ever, not least when the real Jamie and his mum were brought on stage during the curtain call and everyone was blubbing.</div><div>- Joanne Clifton is a fan of eyebrowography.</div><div>- Joanne thinks Maisie needs to work on her elbows.</div><div>- Joanne calls the Clauditorium 'Claudia's area', fnar.</div><div>- Joanne's tip for the Viennesse Waltz is for Ranvir to feel Giovanni's body pressing against her contact points, the absolute filth from Ms Clifton tonight.</div><div>- When doing the jive you should imagine sponges in your feet and knees (it made more sense when you saw what Joanne meant, something to do with not smacking your feet on the floor).</div><div>- Joanne wants to point out that the professionals are only trained in the traditional ballroom 10 dances. We would like to point out that some of the pros aren't even trained in those.</div><div>- The pros are allowed to modify the routines from the guest choreographers if they want to.</div><div>- Johannes dressed like a pimp to discover his pro challenge results.</div><div>- Johannes thought he did 'very well' by spinning like a loon and wobbling all over the place. It paid off because he completed 21 fleckerls and had 0 steps disqualified to top the leaderboard. He thinks Graziano and Oti are his biggest competition.</div><div>- 'Rescue' is a song that's been part of JJ & Amy's warm-up for a while.</div><div>- Amy is still crying about their Viennese waltz.</div><div>- Zoe wants to be a background dancer for JJ and Amy's Charleston.</div><div>- JJ is still scared of The Child Catcher even now.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><span><u>Wednesday</u></span></h4><div>- Ian didn't think JJ's charleston was going to be any good but now he's changed his mind.</div><div>- Ian thinks Maisie should have got 30 last weekend.</div><div>- Janette would love to win the pro challenge, possibly because it would mean on next year's launch show she could be introduced as "Pro Challenge Winner Janette Manrara".</div><div>- Janette thinks fleckerls are hard for short people.</div><div>- Janette completed 20 fleckerls with 2 disqualifications, giving her a score of 18 which puts her joint second with Aljaž.</div><div>- Zoe would like to meet HRVY's family in person.</div><div>- HRVY's family did not know they were being recorded when they were reacting to his scores at the weekend.</div><div>- HRVY hasn't seen many musicals in theatres, just the film versions.</div><div>- Shirley got stuck in traffic so Motsi had to do the judges' chat slot by herself.</div><div>- Motsi thinks the best thing about Jamie is that he is so into it and so happy.</div><div>- Motsi thinks that watching Ranvir and Giovanni is like watching the essence of ballroom dancing.</div><div><div>- Motsi is looking forward to seeing JJ having some fun.</div><div>- Motsi thinks Maisie is the most musical dancer in the cast.</div></div><div><h4><u>Thursday</u></h4><div>- Oti did the pro challenge in a very warm-looking jumper. She tried to turn mid-way and then realised it was a mistake.</div></div><div>- Oti is not known for her fleckerls.</div><div>- Nancy is a 'finished beauty'.</div><div>- Oti completed 21 fleckerls with 3 disqualifications, placing her on 18. Nancy completed 22 fleckerls with 1 disqualification, placing her joint top on 21.</div><div>- The <i>Priscilla </i>pro dance will feature Giovanni, Gorka and Johannes as drag queens. Somewhere, Michelle Visage is smashing a fan in rage.</div><div>- Gorka thinks Giovanni enjoyed wearing heels a bit too much.</div><div>- Johannes accidentally attacked Aljaž with his headpiece for the <i>Priscilla </i>number during rehearsals.</div><div>- HRVY will be doing some tap dance in his American smooth.</div><div>- Maisie will be playing Audrey in her <i>Little Shop of Horrors </i>dance<i>.</i></div><div>- Janette can cope with whatever you throw at her. Surely that should be 'with however you throw her'?</div><div>- The hair'n'makeup segment has been updated to feature Johannes recreating Craig's 'Hello Dolly' drag, and he even shaved his beard.</div><div>- Johannes can't apply lipstick very well.</div><div>- Bill thinks he went wrong on Saturday because he was too excited.</div><div>- Bill's wife is quite an exciting cook.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Friday</u></h4><div>- This week's Friday panel is Andrew Lloyd Webber, Ore Oduba and the ever-elusive Tom Allen.</div><div>- Something very weird was going on with the camerawork on Gethin's Non-Homoerotic Studio Adventures.</div><div>- JJ isn't super enthused about using props in dances. Suspect he's not alone in that.</div><div>- Maisie taught Gorka how to cartwheel. It was a struggle.</div><div>- Maisie blames her little foot error on suddenly realising she was on Strictly.</div><div>- Maisie always wanted to make it to Musicals Week and getting there is as good as winning as far as she's concerned.</div><div>- Despite having been here forever, Anton's still only on his 6th pro challenge.</div><div>- Anton completed 19 fleckerls with zero disqualifications, putting him in third place.</div><div>- Janette has never done Musicals Week before. (The only time she got this far, they did Around The World Week instead.)</div><div>- HRVY doesn't watch It Takes Two, and his mum texts him with pictures of the costumes from Vicky Gill's segment.</div><div>Tom Allen doesn't think ALW has cashed in enough on the popularity of masks this year.</div><div>- Tom Allen thinks the Phantom of the Opera is a very camp character because "he falls in love with someone called Christine".</div><div>- ALW thinks live shows are so important. Book him now for a live revival of his star search shows, doesn't matter what the musical is, Starlight Express, Evita, that stupid Ben Elton football one, whatever.</div><div>- Tom thinks Jamie is going home ("he's old money, he doesn't need it"), Ore thinks JJ, and Andrew thinks it will be Ranvir.</div></div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-24673711826929361452020-11-29T20:26:00.006+00:002020-11-30T22:52:29.766+00:00Cla-ra, chuck!<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Week 6: Top 7 Results -</b><b> 29 November 2020</b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last night! (Not)Blackpool Hangover week lived up to its
reputation with mistakes, weird scoring and a general feeling of ‘will this do’
hanging over wardrobe. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We open with a pro dance to ‘Blinding Lights’ in which Graziano
is sucked into a pinball machine where he has to battle with all the other
pros, er, holding neon rods and stuff because pinball? and all the women have
terrible hair. It doesn’t scream ‘pinball’ to me as much as ‘leisure centre
arcade’ with everyone in neon athletics wear, and the dancing is a weird mix of
street, contemporary, Latin and knee slides, but I like the electro vibe of the
whole thing as well as Nancy being a boss bitch because I’m always here for
unravelling more of the enigma that is Nancy. [<i>I was crying out for some jive in the choreography, surely that song was made for a jive? - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p><span></span><span><a name='more'></a></span><p class="MsoNormal">Tess and Claudia enter. Daly dresswatch: an ivory blouse with
the inverse neckline to Claudia’s last night and white trousers; What Winkleman’s
Wearing: A black blouse over a black dress. They both look nice, with Tess's outfit a definite upgrade from last night. The judges enter, with Shirley in
an ugly pink sequinned dress, Motsi in an emerald green glittery dress getting
her Christmas on early, and Craig in a black suit. Again.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Bruno’s recap of last night in which we see Jamie, Bill and
Ranvir shown as having jurnees but needing to work on things; Clara getting a
slightly more positive edit than she could have given the issues; JJ being
gawjuss; HRVY being the greatest of all time; and Bruno’s sole contribution
being to shout ‘Maisie, Maisie, Maisie!’.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As for our first set of results, safe are: Maisie and Gorka (to
a huge cheer); JJ and Amy and HRVY and Janette. The first dance-off pair? Jamie
and Karen. Can’t say I’m too surprised given the pile up in second-to-bottom,
and a limited amount of space left for jurnee contestant, but they got a couple
of my votes this week because I was expecting it. Jamie says it’s alright, they’ve
been here before and someone has to do it, and he’s happy to have got this far.
Motsi says to focus on being alert and present, to listen to the music and awaken
his inner killer instinct.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">With the chatterpillar now, Maisie is overwhelmed to be safe
and says she just tried to let go and have a good time and is glad that it paid
off. HRVY is pleased to have done so well and we learn that next week they have
more lifts, and he’s developed some GUNZ. We don’t learn what their
lift-including dance is, though. JJ says he’s shocked to still be here and next
week they have a Chitty Chitty Bang-Bang themed Charleston which sounds like it will be terrible, sorry JJ. Claudia says it’s
mainly for Hayley and I'm surprised, as I thought she was more of a goth-type, but then Claud
clarifies she means JJ’s daughter, rather than the singer.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We have a special guest performance from Michael and
Jowita, the winners of <i>The Greatest Dancer</i>, which is a thing I forgot still
existed. [<i>Well, technically it doesn't any more, I suppose. - Steve</i>] They promise a dance comprised of everything including cha-cha and,
hooray, rumba. They perform to ‘Spectrum (Say My Name)’ and are dressed a bit
like a magician and assistant. It’s a good routine for the most part, dynamic
and exciting, but there’s a weird bit where she hangs on a string from his neck
and spins around for ages which is impressive but also really ugly and makes me worried she's going to throttle him. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dance debrief time, and video Bruno praises Jamie and Karen for their
performance level and says he’s surprised Jamie’s in the bottom two even though
he (along with Bill and Ranvir) was put there by the judges. Shirley says
Ranvir has worked hard on her footwork and we see her nice ‘lady frame’. [<i>Honestly that sounds more and more like a euphemism every time I hear it. - Steve</i>] Motsi
explains that JJ’s ‘aura’ means that he comes across well: calm and kind. We
then cover HRVY and Craig says he loved it so much he put his pen down and
watched. They also go on about it being the first perfect week 6 score and we
covered that last night. We also see HRVY’s family AGAIN reacting. I’m sure
they're lovely people but I’ve now seen more of them this series than waltzes,
rumbas and charlestons combined.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Back with Tess and the cue cards of doom, we see Ranvir and
Giovanni called safe, leaving Bill and Oti and Clara and Aljaž. But the couple
in the dance-off will be, unsurprisingly, Clara and Aljaž. Tess
says it’s a chance for her to put it right, and Clara says ‘yeah, big wheels
keep on turning. Even though it’s not ‘Proud Mary’’. Hee. Craig says to consider
‘Saturday night’ as a warm-up and that he loves her dancing, and the dance
suits her temperament so she should go out and dance like she’s never done
before. The defeat in Clara’s face suggests that might be hard, bless her.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the chatterpillar, Bill thanks his wife for cooking for
them each week and we learn that next week they have the Argentine Tango to <i>Phantom
of the Opera</i>. Not what I’d expected they’d be doing, but sure, let's run with that. [<i>Also it did not go well for Davood a couple of years ago, so good luck Bill. - Steve</i>] Ranvir and
Giovanni are pleased to be through but we don’t get to find out if they’re doing a rumba or
not which is all I care about from these two now.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then it’s our next superspecial guest performance (two in one night, how honoured I feel), from
noted tax dodger and dour funsponge Gary Barlow. Nadiya and Luba dance a bit, then
Graziano comes on and Luba goes away again. Also the song is Gary Barlow trying
to be a Latin sensation and it’s hilariously inauthentic. Then Luba and
Johannes come on and dance a bit, not sure what happened to Neil and Nancy this
week, though I’ll never complain about more Luba or Johannes because they both
dance so beautifully.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We then get a promo for musicals week, with the judges
throwing around ‘glitz’, ‘glamour’, ‘razzle dazzle’ and all the other cliches.
They also note it’s a tribute to theatre whilst the industry is closed.
Somewhere, Caroline Quentin is chewing a piece of scenery in a rage.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the dance-off, Clara still seems quite hesitant and her
footwork is a bit leaden, but there are far fewer mistakes and I’m really
pleased for her that even if she does go out, it will be on a better note. Jamie
does a good job, too, with no huge mistakes and honestly, I don’t want either
of these two couples to go, so whoever it is will break my heart a little bit.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says it’s a difficult one because both couples were
incredible and danced with a lot of passion and love, but he’s saving Clara and
Aljaž. Motsi says it’s one of the toughest decisions, but based on the
dance-off only she saw one couple dance well and another making a mistake, so
she saves Jamie and Karen. This means Shirley has the deciding vote and she
says it’s a very difficult series and both couples lifted their game, but one just
convinced her with more conviction in the performance and she’s saving Jamie and Karen.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Clara collapses into Aljaž in tears and Karen and Jamie look
sad for them and it’s awkward that they can’t give them a sympathy hug. We see
their best bits, including her geeking out as a thoopafan, giving awesome face,
looking gorgeous for Halloween and topping the leaderboard with a great charleston.
She says she’s had an awesome time and thanks Aljaž. He says he’s glad he got
to do Lady Marmalade and a ‘Claraston’ but she laughs he left out the Amfosamba.
Aww. I do wish they’d had a lovely waltz instead of either the samba or jive,
but I enjoyed these two and will miss them. It also means there are only two celeb women left in the competition, which is sad in its own way.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p>They dance out to ‘Can’t Stop the Feeling’ and we’re done!
Join Steve next week for MUSICALS week!</p>Radhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17031764260176803659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-10668698679165796622020-11-29T19:11:00.003+00:002020-11-30T22:41:26.440+00:00A Sky Full of 24s<p><b>Week 6: Top 7 Perform - </b><b>28 November 2020</b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/11/blackpool-mirror.html" target="_blank">Last</a> <a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/11/surrender-dorothy.html">week</a>! A weird collective delusion that if you say BLACKPOOL
enough times, you’ll actually be there, and an equally weird set of marks, plus
another addition to the canon of weird Aljaž sambas.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tonight! (Not)BLACKPOOL hangover week, always a highlight of
any Strictly year (and always my turn to recap for some reason). [<i>I swear I don't do this to you on purpose. - Steve</i>] Plus! The
return of Motsi!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Cue credits! Honestly, I think the main problem with
Caroline was that she never quite lived up to the camp promise of that amazing
credits pose.<o:p></o:p></p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p class="MsoNormal">Our hosts enter, and I’ll still never get used to them just
walking on rather than coming down the stairs. Daly Dresswatch: purple and
sparkly with a very weird split between the legs that looks like someone cut it
wrong. What Winkleman’s wearing: black trousers and a cream pussy bow blouse,
classic. Both have fab hair and make up tonight. They remind us that five
different couples have topped the leaderboard (although HRVY managed it twice)
so it’s anyone’s game. I look forward to a JJ victory tonight then.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The judges enter: Shirley’s in a pearly suit that looks like
your nan’s handbag, Motsi’s in a dress made out of wallpaper. Nice wallpaper
that you’d see in the boudoir of a Duke and Duchess or something, but wallpaper
all the same. She’s also wearing elaborate door knockers as earrings which is
commitment to a look, I grant you. Craig’s in all black, but with some sparkles
on his lapels. For the first time this series, Craig wins, I think. Shirley
also looks like she’s limping a bit, hope she’s OK. Motsi says she’s glad to be
here rather than confined to watching from home, and I’m glad to see her too.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The couples arrive: Clara and Aljaž; JJ and Amy; Maisie and
Gorka; Ranvir and Giovanni; Jamie and Karen; HRVY and Janette; Bill and Oti.
Only a few of these people look good. The audience cheers really loud, and I do
really appreciate that they’re trying to compensate for the lack of audience
numbers but I hope there are enough Strepsils to sustain them through the
evening or the final couple’s reaction will be a few pained croaks. <o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Clara and <o:p></o:p>Aljaž</b></h4>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last week, Aljaž killed samba a bit more than he already has
and they plummeted to the bottom of the leaderboard. Still Clara seems more resolute
than you might expect from how nervy she’s been at some points this series. Aljaz
arranges a ‘surprise’ for her, which she hopes will be a call from Beyonce, but
is actually a series of voice calls from Nick Grimshaw, Mollie King, Greg James
and Greg James’s dog. [<i>Greg James's dog probably being slightly more helpful on the subject of latin than Mollie King would have been. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their jive is to ‘River Deep, Mountain High’ and they look
very mismatched in their outfits: Clara’s in a cute 60s-style get up: sparkly
check shorts, a gold fringed top, a headband and wig with epic fringe and Aljaž
is more like someone’s mum raided the cast-offs bin in the charity shop and
ended up with a ‘50s-60s-70s-ish’ look involving black trousers with silver
tiles stuck on and a brown velour top, with a humungous quiff. The routine starts
well, all peppy and cute… and then about halfway through it falls completely to
pieces. Clara seems to miss a step and you visibly see her confidence drop,
then Aljaž is pushing her round and she’s struggling to remember what to do for
the whole second half of the dance. I’m gutted for her. At the end she just
sighs ‘Oh my God’ and shakes her head and I hope Aljaz gives her a big cuddle
because she’s going to need a pick up. Where was a patented lovely Aljaž waltz when
she needed one? (I know they’ve done a VW but JJ and Amy will have done both by
tonight and we’ve only had two proper waltzes all series, plus there’s another
jive on tonight’s roster).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess welcomes the singers (we can see them all tonight:
Hayley, Jamie, Andrea and Tommy), Dave Arch and the orchestra and then says
last week Shirley thought she would pick herself up – did she? Note to cue card
writers – maybe don’t just go with what you pre-scripted before the dance but
respond to what’s actually happened. Shirley pauses for a second and then says well
done for opening the show and tells her ‘the parts that you did were good’ (oooof)
but there were so many mistakes. However, she commends her for picking herself
up and carrying on through. Motsi says it’s true that there were mistakes but
she had goosebumps when Clara let go and picked herself up from the mistakes.
She says it started well and she needs to remember that she picked it up. Craig
says he thinks she lost her balance early on which set off the chain reaction,
then lists a lot of the mistakes, as if we couldn’t see them, but he thought
she did better than last week (?!) and that ‘last week wasn’t your dance, this
week it was your dance but it all went horribly wrong’ (?!?!?!). [<i>Yeah, the comments on this were very odd. I get that they didn't want to kick her while she was already down, but I'm not sure how useful any of that would have been? - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They slope off to the Clauditorium and she seems so deflated,
it’s just sad. Claudia says she can see she’s upset. Clara says she doesn’t
know what happened but the rehearsal went well and she still had a lot of fun. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Scores: 6, 6, 7 for a total of 19. I mean, that’s overmarked
but at this stage of the series when it’s likely everyone else will score
highly, it’s probably a kindness. [<i>Also, by the general standards of this series, not really overmarked at all - it seemed fair in comparison to everyone else, to me at least. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Jermaine Jenas opens the vote and seems the most composed of
the guests so far. </p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">Jamie and Karen</h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the slot o’ death it’s last week’s leaderboard toppers. This
week they have the tango, so the VT is about trying to get Jamie to be SRS but
more importantly it features them sitting on the most amazing comfy looking chairs
and rehearsing in a room with a Primal Scream poster in and I’m just uber
curious about where it is they’re training.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing to ‘Tanguera’ and it starts with them
playing chess, very on-trend with <i>The Queen’s Gambit</i>. I don’t know if their
chess is any good though, I watched the whole of that show and never once got
to grips with the actual chess strategy (I haven’t played it in years but I
rarely ever won). [<i>I used to be quite good at chess when I was young, but I tried playing it online recently and I was absolutely hopeless. - Steve</i>] Anyway, after some dramatic faffin abaht, they get into hold.
They both look great tonight, by the way, Karen’s in a femme fatale corseted dress
and Jamie’s in a black suit with villainous eyeliner (although his tan is maybe
a bit OTT), it’s the kind of campery that might have suited Johannes and
Caroline rather than some of the choices they made. Anyway, the routine is a
lot better than I expected it would be. Jamie’s frame looks good and his tango
face is so adorably melodramatic. His footwork is lacking in a little precision
and Karen seems to occasionally be forcing him into place but given all the
hints on ITT this week implied a mess was coming, this was a nice surprise. At
the end he hollers ‘come on’ and they both seem surprised, and the rest of the
cast screech. It seems an over the top reaction until Tess says ‘well, that went
better than the dress run!’. I hope we get to see said dress run on ITT this
week, sounds like it might have been a car crash for the ages given everyone’s
reaction to this performance of it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi says he is so infectious and this showed a real
contrast to last week. She loved that his shoulder line has improved – he was a
little late with transferring the weight on his feet but overall the attack was
great. Craig said it could have done with more drive and the ‘lead was
questionable’, which I assume means he saw Karen leading? But he loved the
sharp staccato moments. Shirley praises the drama, tension and storytelling and
she can see his technique improving but he now needs to listen to the music
more to define the ‘slow’ and the ‘quick quick’.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium Jamie says he doesn’t understand the
mentality of whoever invented the tango but he enjoyed it a lot. Scores: 8, 8,
8 for a total of 24. Claudia says she loved that his reaction to the 8s (well,
the Craig 8) was as good as his response to the 10 and she’d like to see him
get a 4. Erm, his week 1 cha cha, Claud? Jamie says anything over a 3 is good.
Don’t tempt Craig, Jamie. </p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>HRVY and Janette</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh hooray it’s couple’s choice what a treat. Their super
special inspirational VT involves HRVY as a kid playing with a Disney princess
wand and charging his parents to come to gigs in the living room, then singing
on YouTube as a teenager which went viral and got him a record deal at 14. He
loves his parents, too, and his nanny Joyce who is excited each week about
which dance he’s going to do. Except this week probably because it’s Couple’s
Choice.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing a contempowaft/street fusion to ‘Sky Full of
Stars’ and they’re both wearing what look to be pyjamas made of a combination
of brown silk and tie-dye. They’re among the ugliest outfits on offer tonight. It’s
a well-danced routine that plays directly into his dirty ringah status because
it looks a lot like pop video choreography, and it does nothing to dispel the
notion that Couple’s Choice is just Showdance with another name. Our thoughts on
CC have been well documented lately so I won’t repeat the points we’ve made
before, but <a href="https://twitter.com/Chrisrubery/status/1331674644018065413" target="_blank">Chris</a> did make an interesting observation the other day that perhaps the reason
why CC has been very samey this year (despite protestations it could ‘be
anything’) and the fact we’ve had very few Charlestons and salsas (and, by
extension, ATs) could be to do with there being limited access to guest
choreographers given “the situation” this year. Doesn’t explain the lack of waltzes
or FILTHY DIRTY RUMBAS though, does it?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess says it looked like a pop video. Well, duh. But I
imagine he’s not going to get as much flack for that as he would if he was a
woman. Craig calls it ‘G.O.A.T. Goat.’ And sits back and waits for a response,
whilst HRVY and Janette just look baffled. Hee, I knew what he meant, but like
Craig I am deeply old and uncool. [<i>Hee, I got it too, we're both old farts. - Steve</i>] Craig says ‘obviously no-one’s down with the
teens, it usually stands for ‘greatest of all time’’, at which HRVY and Janette
collapse with the knowledge that he’s getting his 10 out. This is more embarrassing
than when he prostrated himself before Debbeh, go back to the old Craig that
just does a ‘fab.u.lous’ when you’re going to 10 something. Shirley says it was
a difficult routine and praises Janette for the choreography even though she
probably didn’t have much to do with it. She praises HRVY’s timing and lifts
and he is oh so ‘umble and loves his family. The naughty camera cuts to Maisie
and Gorka at this point, and Gorka eyerolls. Motsi says she felt the music
through him and there were so many good things they can’t explain tonight (?)
but we felt what he felt tonight, aka standard contempowaft commentary.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Janette cries and we’re reminded HRVY loves
his family and we get a video call with them and HRVY cries. HRVY seems lovely
but god his storyline is BRNG. Scores: 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30. So our
first perfect score of the series is Couple’s Choice. Mm-hmm. Claudia says they’ve
made Strictly history for being the first couple to get a perfect score in week
6 which: yes, but it’s week 6 out of 9, which would be closer to week 10 out of
13 than the other earliest perfect scorers week 7 out of 13 (Debbie’s 40) or
week 8 out of 14 (Ali’s 40). So it’s basically around the time in the run that
a perfect score usually arrives, rather than anything special. Now what *would*
be special would be getting 40 for a rumba. It’s also Janette’s first perfect
score and Claudia is impressed that they achieved it ‘in those outfits’. Heh.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A trailer for what’s coming, including Ranvir and Giovanni
telling a story about a lovely married couple. Sounds the antithesis of the smutfest
last week I am not here for that. Also JJ in a kilt for his Viennese Waltz
which is giving me <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMGGWtYd76c&ab_channel=BBCStrictlyComeDancing" target="_blank">Mull of Kintyre</a> flashbacks, do not want.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Ranvir and Giovanni</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last week, they got 10, this week Anton’s off-duty so good
luck repeating that. In training, Ranvir is finding lifts awkward and not
allowing herself to relax into them, so let’s see if she’s become more
comfortable.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their American Smooth is to ‘I Say A Little Prayer’ and it feels
very chaste and polite in comparison to last week’s raunch – which is OK in
itself, but it lacks any sense of drama or theatricality to distinguish it from
a regular foxtrot. The lifts are quite uncommital – the one where you just lift
someone up a bit by the waist and the one where the man gets his hand under
both knees like he’s rescuing her – they’re just not very exciting. [<i>At one point I said out loud 'well THAT was a waste of a lift' and I don't even care about lifts that much anyway? - Steve</i>] Also
make-up have dome something weird so that when the light hits Ranvir there’s an
odd white casting over her eyes – wrong concealer tone compared to foundation perhaps?
It ends and Giovanni pronounces it ‘beautiful’ repeatedly.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Shirley says the fact that Giovanni gave her a solo piece at
the start says it all, and her feet are great – she has the best female frame
so far, and each week there’s improvement in different parts of her technique
each week, but next week is the ‘quarter-final’ so she needs to demonstrate multi-tasking,
which Shirley thinks she will. Motsi praises their pairing and lack of gapping
and says she can see that Ranvir owns the dance floor and feels at home but she’d
like some more surprises in the routines. Craig says he would have liked more
interesting lifts – they could do something spectacular in this dance but they
chose to play it safe. He says her arms could be doing a lot more as one of
them landed like a lead weight on Giovanni’s back, but he loved the body contact
and her acting. Giovanni says ‘well done’ but sounds a bit miffed.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As they bounce upstairs, Ranvir says ‘sorry about my arm’
and Giovanni says ‘it’s fine’. We learn that they played characters, ‘Paula’
and ‘Patrick’ this week, based on some real people they met. Also we’re
reminded that Ranvir has never danced before and she says the weird thing about
ballroom is that the more romantic it is, the less you look at each other.
Scores: 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24. Giovanni gives slightly pissy ‘thangyews’ to
each 8, but they’re not Gorka levels of pissy yet, work harder.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Claudia says JJ and Amy are coming up and she wants to go to
Scotland for a dirty weekend, and Tess says Vernon’s away (in that other show)
so she’s in. But not really, don’t call PHE and Ofcom.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Bill and Oti</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This week sees more of Bill trying to describe the origin of
dances to Oti, and they then do a vintage newsreel piece about the origin of jive.
I know Bill is the public favo and I do like him a lot, but there’s a fine line
between ‘novice gets geekily into dance history’ and ‘mansplaining nightmare’
and I don’t know that he’s falling on the right side of that line.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re jiving to ‘One Way or Another’ and there’s some sort
of story about Oti being a Picasso painting and then they’re both in leather
dancing and at the end the magic of dance turns a quirky character into a generic
bland portrait which is maybe meant to be a metaphor for Bill’s journey going
from scrappy outsider to perfect specimen but just reads as going from
interesting to boring, and no idea what the leather outfits have to do with the
painting. [<i>Yeah, apologies for sounding like a fuddy-duddy but this really made me miss the days when you could just do a dance without it needing to have a capital-c Concept. - Steve</i>] The dance itself is very ‘eh, whatever, mid-table jive’. He has good
rhythm and energy but it’s heavy-footed and some of the shaping is quite awkward, the
transitions are a bit ugly, there are a couple that go a bit wrong, and he doesn’t
seem to be enjoying it as much as the quickstep or couple’s choice. I don’t see
this one getting any 10s, put it that way.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi says it was ‘one tempo jive’ and I don’t know if that’s
shade or not. She says you can see his rhythm and focus but there was a
mistake. Craig says it was a bit stompy and there’s a little boo. Craig says ‘was
that Anton booing from the cheap seats, darling, sorry Anton, but you’re no
longer up here’. Ha! Craig says Bill has his own style and he adores it so to
continue to ‘bend it like Bill’. Shirley says ‘having never made any mistakes
during the series’ (???) there were some mistakes in that, but his stamina ‘for
your age’ is off the charts. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Bill says the comments were fair and he
knows that there were mistakes but he got through it. Scores: 8, 8, 8 for a
total of 24. So we have a great 3-way pile up on 24 at the moment, which is
really underscoring the issue with 3 judges, much as I don’t echo the calls to
make Anton the fourth judge. I’m also not sure that was better than Jamie or
Ranvir, both of which felt more ‘8’ than this one.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>JJ and Amy</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This week, they’re reminding us that JJ is SCOTTISH and
setting their routine in SCOTLAND and he’s wearing a kilt which is helping with
his homesickness. We get footage of his adorable children in case he hasn’t
fired enough emotional salvos these last few weeks. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing the Viennesse Waltz to ‘Rescue’ which is a
song I’m not familiar with, nor are the singers from the sounds of it, as the
mics are so muted its lyrics just sound like ‘mumble mumble mumble’. It’s one
of those VWs where they flood the stage with dry ice so you can’t really tell
if the footwork is any good or not, though his performance seems nice and his
upper body is keeping its frame. It’s all perfectly fine, but it’s my least
favourite dance genre and there’s nothing much here to change my mind – there are
mercifully few endless fleckerls to trigger motion sickness, but it’s all a bit
dull and simple, technique-wise.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig calls it ‘charming, elegant, gorgeous’. Shirley calls
it understated and calm. Motsi says ‘you guys bring us down’ (ulp), ‘but in a
good way’ whatever that means, but she praises his standing leg and says he has
a lovely aura.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium we get to see his daughter dancing along
to last week’s show. Hilariously she isn’t looking at JJ at all, bless her. JJ
says he thought he’d come here and learn some steps but never thought he’d have
such an emotional connection. Scores: 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25. On the one
hand, no way that’s a 9. On the other, at least there aren’t four couples on
24. [<i>I've been trying to work out if things would have gone differently had Bruno been around, but I'm not sure they would have done? I think this is just an unfortunate byproduct of the show trying to provide relentless positivity in the year of the Rona. - Steve</i>]</p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Maisie and Gorka</b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So now these two are in the pimp slot after being death
slotted and dutifully dance-offed last week. I don’t know what the show’s doing
with their edit at all. Their VT focuses on them making each other laugh in
training but Jamie and Karen already have that storyline. Gorka says she’s had
a lot of negativity so they’re going to cheer her up and get her old school to
record messages to her.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing a quickstep to ‘When You’re Smiling’ and she
looks gorgeous in a feathery pink dress, except for one thing: whatever the
hell is going on with her under eye make-up. It appears to have a bunch of
spaced out silver jewels or something, which looks space-age when her whole outfit
is Classic Hollywood. It is completely distracting and off-putting, a poor choice for a triumphant comeback routine – which this is, in
every other way. It’s very light, cheeky and charming with some pretty complex moments,
including a great dual cartwheel at the end that they make look effortless.
Gorka gives good quickstep, doesn’t he? There’s a slight slip up when she
tries to get off a bench but otherwise this is probably my favourite dance
tonight – although it’s the kind of dance that would have looked even better
with a big BLACKPOOL style production. Overall, quickstep is one of the few genres
that’s coming off well this series.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Shirley praises how natural it looks and says the work on
the bench is much harder than it looks and there were some beautiful feminine sensibilities
to the routine. Motsi says she didn’t sit down throughout, and the quickstep is
all about the music for her, and it had all the elements: swing, steps,
charisma, performance. Craig says she missed a left foot swivel on the bench
but, that aside, it was absolutely incredible.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium we’re reminded that Maisie’s working
really hard and it’s been tough being in the dance-off. Her granddad sends a
video message saying he’s proud of her, especially for dancing in high heels
when she usually wears trainers. Scores: 9, 10, 10 for a total of 29 and the
revelation that this is her first 10, meaning Ranvir, Bill, Jamie and Clara all 10ed before Maisie, what is
this series?</p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">Leaderboard</h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div style="text-align: left;">1. HRVY and Janette - 30</div><div style="text-align: left;">2. Maisie and Gorka - 29</div><div style="text-align: left;">3. JJ and Amy - 25</div><div style="text-align: left;">4=. Bill and Oti - 24</div><div style="text-align: left;">4=. Jamie and Karen - 24</div><div style="text-align: left;">4=. Ranvir and Giovanni - 24</div><div style="text-align: left;">7. Clara and Aljaz - 19</div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So that’s quite the pile-up. I would hope Maisie’s not in
the dance-off again, but it’s possible anyone could be. My guess would be Clara
vs Jamie, but I could be very wrong. Whatever happens, we’ll have to endure a
Gary Barlow performance first, so join me then!<o:p></o:p></p>Radhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17031764260176803659noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-12813402749112189162020-11-28T11:43:00.001+00:002020-11-28T11:43:08.367+00:00This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...<h4 style="text-align: left;"> <u>Monday</u></h4><div>- Friend of the blog Ariadne Griffin was featured for her <a href="https://twitter.com/Ariadne_Griffin/status/1330241572680687622?s=20">hilarious tweet</a>, hooray!</div><div>- Caroline enjoyed the neatness of the feet and the "ludicrous extravagance" of the arms in the cha cha cha.</div><div>- The arm-licking was not part of the original choreography but it came out during the dress rehearsal and got the seal of approval from compliance.</div><div>- Zoe is trying to make the curse of Johannes' cha cha cha a thing, but nothing can be as cursed as Aljaž's samba.</div><div>- Next week Caroline and Johannes are going to do the Argentine tango, just for Zoe, in her living room.</div><div>- Caroline and Johannes' biggest fan was a tiny child who burst into tears when they got eliminated. Awww.</div><div>- Joe Sugg is doing Movember. It is Quite A Look.</div><div>- Joe and Dianne still have some of their dance outfits at home and they occasionally reprise some of the dances.</div><div>- Today is Zoe's 50th birthday. Happy birthday Zoe!</div><div>- Common consensus among the pros is that Anton is the funniest pro, and Dianne is the messiest.</div><div>- Zoe thinks a Blackpool quickstep for JJ and Amy was a recipe for success. Er, it was? (Also: they. were. not. in. Blackpool.)</div><div>- There was a lot of love for Amy's quickstep dress on the internet over the weekend.</div><div>- JJ's eight-year-old nephew Rory is adorable.</div><div>- This week JJ and Amy have the Viennese waltz.<span><a name='more'></a></span></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Tuesday</u></h4><div><div>- Maisie has lost track of how long the show's been running.</div></div><div>- Maisie and Gorka have the quickstep this week.</div><div>- Maisie was really happy with her performance and the judges' comments on Saturday, so it's good she hasn't been too traumatised by the weekend.</div><div>- Mike Bushell thinks Maisie might be coming for his dance-off crown. I'd forgotten how often he kept getting saved.</div><div>- Maisie has now mastered patting her head and rubbing her tummy at the same time.</div><div>- Kristina thinks Maisie is the most rhythmical dancer this year.</div><div>- Zoe has missed Kristina's wiggle.</div><div>- Kristina can't remember a male celebrity who enjoyed dancing ballroom tango during her time on the show.</div><div>- This year's pro challenge is to perform the most complete fleckerls in 30 seconds.</div><div>- The Netherlands' <i>Dancing With the Stars</i> has two hosts and no dance-off.</div><div>- Last season their first wheelchair-using contestant made the final.</div><div>- The eventual winner broke a toe playing football in the ballroom and danced in trainers doped up on painkillers in the final.</div><div>- One of their gay male contestants saw the show as a way of helping him be free in his identity (aww) and he had a female pro but also did a throuple dance with a male pro as well.</div><div>- Jamie forgot they were on the show and had nothing to wear so had to throw on some dancing clothes.</div><div>- Karen has started referring to herself as "the OG" because she's been on the show for nine years.</div><div>- Karen didn't think Jamie would be able to do street until Wednesday when it started to click.</div><div>- There was originally a flip in their routine but Jamie wasn't up for that so they took it out.</div><div>- Both Jamie and Karen think it's hilarious that he was the celeb to get her to the top of the leaderboard.</div><div>- Jamie and Karen have the tango this week and Jamie thinks the footwork is completely ridiculous and unnatural.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Wednesday</u></h4><div style="text-align: left;">- Rylan is out of isolation! (Or 'Rysolation' as he calls it) Hooray!</div><div style="text-align: left;">- As are Nicola and Katya! Who are still in their bubble, by the way.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- But Zoe was ill today! Boo!</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Nicola kept busy making TikToks.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Katya is well and hasn't had any symptoms.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Nicola and Katya will be dancing a new routine in the final.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Rylan isn't sure if wardrobe are making him and Zoe share blazers.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Jamie has a fidgety shoulder.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Ian thinks HRVY and Janette's Couple's Choice will top the leaderboard. </div><div style="text-align: left;">- Ian is making Maisie top of his leaderboard this week.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Craig has returned to the pro challenge.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Gorka isn't sure if being the first pro whose challenge is featured is a good or bad thing, but given the winner is always on the last episode of the challenge...</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Gorka blames his baby on his recent poor showing.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Fleckerling Gorka looks like the mannequin from a musical jewellery box.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Watching people fleckerl tons of times in a row is making me feel a bit motion sick.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- The pros can change direction in the challenge, but Gorka chose not to, and just to spin round and round, because he thinks it's more natural and you'll get dizzy however you fleckerl.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Gorka had two disqualifications, and got 13 fleckerls overall. He also attempted to declare the pro challenge over there and then with himself as the winner.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Bill got nervous on Saturday because it was the mid-point of the series, and because it was BLACKPOOL. (Even though it wasn't).</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Oti's teaching techniques are proprietary and must not be spoken out loud.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Rylan thinks if Craig calls a dance 'extraordinary' it should get at least a 9.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Joan Collins is a Bill Bailey fan.</div><div style="text-align: left;">- Bill thinks that the song 'One Way Or Another' might actually be mocking him personally.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Thursday</u></h4><div>- HRVY's Couple's Choice routine will be a fusion of street, commercial and contemporary.</div><div>- Aljaž thinks you have to 'go crazy' with a samba. Explains a few things.</div><div>- Clara doesn't mind having been at the bottom of the leaderboard because she's also been at the top, so this shows she's got <i>the range</i>.</div><div>- Clara and Aljaž will be dancing to 'River Deep, Mountain High', aka the song that made me vote for Nicola Roberts in <i>Popstars: The Rivals</i>.</div><div>- Tina Turner is 81 today!</div><div>- Vicky Gill thought it'd be easier this series having designed a lot of outfits over the summer, but it hasn't been.</div><div>- Ranvir thinks she owes everything to Vicky Gill because she becomes a different person when she puts her dance outfit on.</div><div>- Maisie's quickstep dress has been prepared for weeks, conspiracy fans!</div><div>- This week's pro dance is pinball themed. Graziano will be the player, and Nancy the boss.</div><div>- Aljaž pronounces it 'painball'.</div><div>- Aljaž got 18 fleckerls with zero disqualifications in the pro challenge.</div><div>- Ranvir was in a bit of a trance in their Argentine tango.</div><div>- Ben Shephard wants Ranvir to do her Argentine tango in Downing Street.</div><div>- Giovanni thinks Ranvir looks better with a bent leg.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Friday</u></h4><div>- Janette thinks that the street/commercial/contempowaft routine they'll be doing at the weekend is very her.</div><div>- HRVY doesn't want to dance the tango again.</div><div>- Janette is happy they can use HRVY's dirty ringah experience in Couple's Choice.</div><div>- As surprising as this may seem, the graphics get tweaked to suit the dances rather than the other way around.</div><div>- Craig has some sparkling ruby shoes.</div><div>- Out of all the eliminated cast so far, Craig would have liked to see Caroline last longer.</div><div>- Craig seems to recall that he thought Bill fluked his way into brilliance in week one. (Craig gave Bill a 3 that week.)</div><div>- Craig also suddenly thinks Ranvir had clean, precise footwork in her Argentine tango, despite what he said on Saturday.</div><div>- Craig thinks the rumba is the dance most celebrities struggle with. What's a rumba? </div><div>- Craig is hoping we see a good rumba this series. At this point I'd even take a bad one.</div><div>- Karen thinks there is a chess piece called "the horsey".</div><div>- This week's Friday panel is Mike Bushell, Suzi Ruffell and Blu Hydrangea.</div><div>- Blu thinks JJ and Amy's appeal is that they're a 'beautiful wholesome couple'. </div><div>- Suzi thinks the general harumphing in Maisie's direction is "typical British".</div><div>- Blu wants Bill to be his uncle.</div><div>- Mike thinks Jamie is going home this week, Suzi and Blu think JJ.</div><div>- Ronan Keating has done a dance remix of 'Love Is A Rollercoaster'.</div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-88725954925593596792020-11-23T08:58:00.003+00:002020-11-24T22:40:28.403+00:00Surrender, Dorothy<p> <b>Week 5: Top 8 Results - 22 November 2020</b></p><p>We open on a pro dance to 'Chasing Cars', led by Giovanni and Dianne and set in some sort of flower garden and involving a lot of dancing indoors with umbrellas up, which must be very bad luck, surely? Maybe this is what provoked that 'rona outbreak that did for Nicola and Katya? Still, it's a very sweet and charming and only slightly syrupy number that's quite reassuring after a lot of the previous evening's excess.<span></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p>Tess and Claudia are summoned once again. Daly Dresswatch: a dark spaghetti-strap top and plum-coloured trousers. What Winkleman's Wearing: a solid black two-piece with shoulder pads. Tess reminds us that last night's show was a tribute to Blackpool (most of the time), and Claudia lets it be known that we shall lose one more couple tonight. The judges return: Shirley's swapped for a strapless black top, Craig now has a pattern-print on his jacket, and Anton looks much the same. </p><p>Coming up later: Billy Ocean and Virtual Motsi, but first: Bruno's recap of Saturday night. In terms of previously unseen moments: Bill is really pleased with Craig's comments because it shows that his attention to detail paid off, Bruno thinks JJ had so much content in his routine but he handled it so well, JJ feels incredible and had a lot of fun, Caroline and Johannes are still giggling backstage, Clara admits her routine wasn't technically perfect but she had a laugh, Bruno thinks HRVY showed a lot of passion and purpose and really became a new persona, HRVY is thrilled with the feedback he got from Shirley, Bruno says Maisie left him spinning like a Blackpool waltzer, Maisie thinks that was the best she's done that routine, Ranvir hasn't quite taken in that she got a 10 yet, Bruno thinks Jamie has been unleashed, Karen is proud of Jamie for getting two 10s and a 9, and Bruno thinks everybody raised their game.</p><p>Tess has the Cue Cards Of Doom, and away we go: Ranvir and Giovanni are safe, as are Jamie and Karen, and Bill and Oti. The first couple in the dance-off is... Caroline and Johannes. Both of them look as if, not that they were expecting this outcome exactly, but that they aren't overly surprised by it nonetheless. <i>[I blame the way her tongue was doing the 'durrr' expression the whole time except for when ahe was licking JoJo, it was just an odd choice - Rad]</i> Tess asks Caroline how she's feeling, and she says she likes dancing, so she's happy to do it again - she wouldn't choose to be here, but it's okay. Tess asks Shirley if she has any advice for Caroline, and Shirley says she is surprised to see Caroline here, despite the fact that (a) Caroline was second from bottom on the leaderboard and (b) Shirley herself gave Caroline her second-lowest score of the night. I mean, I know they like to talk about how everyone is great and no one deserves to go home, but simple logistics mean that two people have to be in the dance-off every week, and the couples who are in the bottom two spots on the leaderboard are in more danger than most. Anyway, Shirley tells Caroline to go out, give it her all and remember that it's not over until it's over.</p><p>From there we cut to the Clauditorium and the head of the chatterpillar, which this week is Ranvir and Giovanni. Ranvir talks a lot about Blackpool Week being this mythical thing that she never thought she'd get to, never mind get through it. This is still so weird to me, because <i>none of you are in Blackpool</i>. I know they're not in a cinema for Movie Week and they're not in a theatre for Musicals Week, but <i>Blackpool Week is so-called because it takes place in Blackpool, Blackpool is not a theme in and of itself. </i>(Breathe.) Ranvir talks a bit more about how transformative the process of getting your hair and costume together is, and then they move on to make room for Bill and Oti. Claudia remarks that Janet Jackson has expressed her enjoyment of Bill recently (<a href="https://twitter.com/JanetJackson/status/1329596676231880706">she has indeed!</a>), but Bill confirms that his main goal is to impress Oti. He says she brings out all kinds of other qualities in him like determination, strength and self-belief, and that really helps him to push through those long days. Oti says that Bill really pushes himself, and this Saturday was the first time that they were both really nervous. Bill says that opening the show was a lot of pressure, and this was the most nervous he has been so far. Next week Bill's got the jive. Bringing up the tail-end are Jamie and Karen: Jamie still can't believe that any of this happened. Karen says that at the beginning of the week she thought it was going to be a very long week and she never thought for a second they would be getting 10s, but she knew Jamie had it in him to produce a great dance. Jamie jokes about feeling like he needs to give his little brother's clothes back.</p><p>Now Billy Ocean is here to perform a medley of his greatest hits beginning with 'Love Really Hurts Without You'. Billy Ocean is 70 now, can you believe it? As he segues into 'Red Light Spells Danger', Graziano and Nadiya arrive to leap and jive around the floor, closely followed by Neil and Nancy. Then we hit 'When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going', but sadly there is no time for 'Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car'. Boo.</p><p>After that, Claudia's with the judges, and the first thing Claudia wants to know is whether Motsi would have given Jamie a 10 as well. Regrettably, Motsi confirms that she would have done just that: she feels like Jamie is having such a fun time on the show, he danced well, he was living in the moment, and they were in sync. Anton is here to talk about Ranvir and Giovanni, and he says he was drawn into their story - the atmosphere that they created overrode everything else<i>. [Including the actual dancing, apparently - Rad] </i>Shirley is asked about Caroline's legs, and Shirley says that she uses the inside edges of her feet well - and what's more, she has an amazing glow so she never looks under pressure. Claudia wants to know more about Maisie's isolations, and he explains that it's about separating the hips from the ribs - and he can demonstrate if they would like him to. Of course they do, and Claudia whoops with delight as he does so. Claudia asks Anton if he's enjoyed his judging stint, and he says it was an honour and a pleasure to cover for Motsi, and now "the seat, my love, is yours". Yes, it is. It always was her seat, you were just filling in. It's really not your place to glibly bequeath it back to her, you goon. <i>[Preach - Rad] </i>Claudia asks Craig to tell Anton he did a good job, and Craig tells him he was fab-yew-lous.</p><p>Tess is back with the Cue Cards Of Doom, and ready to reveal who will be joining Caroline and Johannes in the dance-off. The first safe couple is Clara and Aljaž, both of whom seem pretty shocked by this turn of events. I'm surprised too, on two counts: one, that I genuinely thought they'd be in the dance-off, and two, in the unlikely event that they weren't, I assumed they would at the very least be left for last to be declared safe. Maybe they decided, given Clara's tendency to get the vapours during this part of the show every week, that they didn't want to be liable for her having a literal heart attack? I could understand that. Anyway, Clara and Aljaž are safe, and shocked, and grateful. Joining them in next week's show are HRVY and Janette. So that leaves JJ and Amy, and Maisie and Gorka. The couple in the bottom two tonight is... Maisie and Gorka. Oh god, poor Maisie. It's one thing to be thrown into the bottom two early on, but to not get a bottom-two bounce with the public when you were joint-second on the leaderboard the week after? That's got to hurt. (I feel bad, too, because I was planning to vote for Maisie this week, but then I mobilised every vote I had to save Clara, who I thought was in a far more dangerous position.) JJ and Amy are safe, but clearly feel like they're in no position to celebrate. <i>[I voted for Maisie this week because I suspected this might happen. But also Clara and Caroline so I wouldn't have helped much - Rad]</i></p><p>Maisie and Gorka head over to talk to Tess, and Gorka takes on the responsibility of doing the talking, which I think he's doing deliberately to avoid Maisie having to talk about something that's clearly upsetting. To her credit, Maisie is keeping it together, she's smiling and giggling, but there's no way this doesn't sting. At this point I'm acutely aware that she is 19, and god knows I would have been a <i>mess</i> at that age if I'd been doing something like this and had it made very clear to me two weeks in a row that I wasn't getting many votes. Tess asks Craig to weigh in, and he tells Maisie she'll be incredible again "as long as Gorka doesn't throw you too much like a torpedo in that lift". Craig then goes off down an ill-advised little cul-de-sac about how sometimes it takes a long time on this show to win the hearts and minds of the nation, and to look at someone like Alesha, who was in the bottom two and went on to win. I feel like Alesha is not a particularly relevant example, because she was in the bottom two once, in the quarter final, when there were only four couples remaining and it was a week where one of the nice young men in the cast was at the top of the leaderboard and the other one had had a complete woobie meltdown and given up in the middle of a dance. Ore might have been a better example, as someone who was in the bottom two (a) early and (b) twice, but then even he didn't have to sustain two consecutive weeks in the dance-off. </p><p>Claudia returns to the chatterpillar, and Clara tells her that she'd basically made her peace with the fact that she was going home, so she's very thankful to the viewers for voting to keep her around. Next week she'll be doing Tina Turner, and judging by the way she announces it, it looks like yet another 'Proud Mary' jive is on the cards. HRVY and Janette are up next, and HRVY admits to not liking the tango at all, but says that Janette was incredible and acted as his counsellor all week. Janette adds that everyone is so good this year, and anyone could be going home at any point. JJ and Amy bring up the rear (madam), and JJ says once again that it was a beautiful routine and he loved dancing it. Next week he will be wearing a kilt, though to what precisely end I do not know. <i>[So that all of Scotland votes for him, have you learned nothing from our X Factor days? - Rad]</i></p><p>Following the obligatory reminder to check out <i>It Takes Two</i>, the official <i>Strictly </i>podcast, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and A Bunch Of Drag Queens Sittin' Around Talkin', it's time for the dance-off. Maisie and Gorka are up first, and maybe it's just me but there just feels like a huge cloud of sadness hanging over the whole routine? Like, they're smiling and cheerful and still giving it their all, but I think the spark behind the eyes has gone out for both of them. On the bright side, they get a chance to re-do that botched lift and do it properly this time. After that, Caroline and Johannes reprise their cha cha cha, with the air of a couple who know full well that they're going home and just want to enjoy their last dance together. Intriguingly, they have excised the bit where she licks his arm and gone for a bit where she just sort of leans in for a kiss instead. </p><p>Now that all is said and danced, it's over to the judges to determine who gets another week in the competition. Craig says he loves both couples, but one couple was outstanding and danced like their lives depended on it: Maisie and Gorka. Anton thought both couples danced beautifully, but one couple was a bit cleaner, so he would also like to save Maisie and Gorka. So Caroline and Johannes are out, and Shirley agrees she would have saved Maisie and Gorka too.</p><p>Tess asks Caroline if she's fulfilled her dream of becoming a dancer, and Caroline replies that she's done more than that - she's had the honour and privilege of working with some of the greatest dancers in the country, but the greatest gift of all was Johannes himself. We look back over her time on <i>Strictly</i>, including that point during the first show where she was in tears the whole time. Caroline has loved working with Johannes, and Johannes says that he's really found a friend in her. Back in the studio, Caroline asks Tess if she gets to keep Johannes, and Tess says sadly not, but asks if Caroline has anything to say to Johannes. Caroline replies, "lots of things, hopefully over the rest of my lifetime". Aww. Johannes thanks Caroline repeatedly and says he had a beautiful journey with her. Full credit to Johannes for remaining his dignity while being eliminated in a cheap fireman's hat, that's for sure. Also next year, he has my full backing to skip the cha cha cha, or do it in week one when there's no elimination.</p><p>Next week, it's NotBlackpool Hangover Week, which Rad has the joy of recapping, and noted tax dodger Gary Barlow will be performing on the results show. <i>[Fuuuuuu... - Rad]</i> Caroline and Johannes have their final dance to 'Don't Stop', and once again their last dance is the last thing we see, there's no interviews with the contestants about next week's show. I wonder if that's just because they're being super-careful about the 'rona after the last couple of weeks and everyone just gets ushered out as quickly as possible now? Anyway, join us next week to see what the top seven get up to, and for the glorious return of Motsi Mabuse (hopefully).</p>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-20674811490447223142020-11-22T17:37:00.005+00:002020-11-23T09:02:52.262+00:00Black(pool) Mirror<p><b>Week 5: Top 8 Perform (NotBlackpool Week) - 21 November 2020</b></p><p>We begin with a VT in which JJ explains that normally at this point they'd be packing up the set and heading to Blackpool. Well, yes, but normally at this point it wouldn't only be week five, so this whole Ersatz Blackpool Week feels misplaced to me already. Jamie explains that Blackpool Week is the most "iconic" week in the <i>Strictly </i>calendar and the week that everyone wants to get to (except Jonnie Peacock, who just wanted to get to Halloween Week so he could dress up as a pirate, so pure <3). Clara says that there is "nothing normal about 2020" and Ranvir says it "really hurts" not to be going (okay, I think we're getting a little out of perspective here?) but they're going to create Blackpool in the studio. You know who I bet is not at all bothered about not going to Blackpool? Gorka. I bet he thought his luck had come right in this year. JJ says he's gutted that he won't get a chance to experience the bouncing dancefloor of Blackpool and <i>that </i>at least I understand, particularly as there are some routines tonight that really would have benefited from it. Maisie says she's been training so hard this week, and Jamie vows to give it everything. Caroline says there are some very strong dancers this year and she's feeling the heat. JJ says he doesn't see where the cracks are forming and he doesn't know who could go home next. Spoiler: I think he might have more of an inkling once he's seen this week's leaderboard. HRVY says it's going to be iconic, Maisie says they are going to make this the best show yet, Bill says he couldn't be more excited to take part, and Ranvir says they are going to do Blackpool proud. Blackpool, sensing what lies ahead, retains the services of an expensive PR company to distance itself from all of this.<span></span></p><a name='more'></a><p></p><p>Titles! I'd already forgotten Max was ever on this show, to be honest.</p><p>So we open with a Blackpool-themed routine to 'Walking On Sunshine' in which everyone is wearing shades and summer clothes and...guys, you know that even when you do go to Blackpool you still go in <i>November</i>, right? There's lots of Blackpool paraphernalia including "Bruno's Puppet Show", and I spend far too long trying to work out if the three puppets are meant to be anyone in particular. I don't think they are? The music switches to Wanda Jackson's 'Let's Have A Party', and there's a bit where Katya bins off Gorka to dance with Anton and honestly, my suspension of disbelief can only go so far. Then we go into 'Making Your Mind Up' as Shirley turns the lights on at the disco and the music changes again to DJ Ötzi's 'Hey Baby', and I wonder why Anton gets such a spotlight role in a clearly latin-heavy routine as Craig rides a plastic donkey (not a euphemism). Tess and Claudia emerge from some beach huts with BLACKPOOL glasses on and the music changes one final time to '(Is This The Way To) Amarillo', a confetti cannon goes off and it all turns into a "wish we were there!" postcard. I wonder if the lack of a Blackpool week this year means we'll be spared the Blackpool hangover week? Then again, knowing what I know about what lies ahead, I think maybe they've just combined the two.</p><p>Tess and Claudia arrive. Daly Dresswatch: a simple black number that looks great, honestly they are absolutely nailing her outfits this year. What Winkleman's Wearing: a leopard-print two-piece and a tan that appears to have been applied Mississippilessly, per Ross from <i>Friends</i>. (I saw her looking rather orange on Friday's <i>It Takes Two </i>and I assumed that she was freshly sprayed and it hadn't quite settled down yet, but no, she's still the same colour a day later.)</p><p>Tess thanks the pros for the Blackpool-themed opening, and Claudia reminds us once again that all the pro routines were recorded earlier in the year when everyone was bubblin', and please not to call Public Health England. Tess tells us that "some" of the couples will be bringing the magic of Blackpool to the ballroom tonight, and I am intrigued by this admission that only some couples will be doing it. Is it just that they could only find a way to shoehorn Blackpool into some of the routines, or is it because they know some of them aren't going to be any cop?</p><p>Claudia welcomes the judges: Shirley's in a red dress, Anton's in a black tux, and so is Craig. Honestly, we must never again allow the men to outnumber the women on the panel, not just because of feminism but because wardrobe get so lazy. Tess reminds us that Motsi will be joining us from home later for a catch-up. Hooray! I miss Motsi so much.</p><p>Our Strictly stars arrive: Caroline and Johannes, Clara and Aljaž, JJ and Amy, Maisie and Gorka, Ranvir and Giovanni, Jamie and Karen, and Bill and Oti. Oh there are some <i>costumes </i>on display tonight, let me tell you. I don't want to know what the hell is going on with Clara and Aljaž, but we shall get to that in due course.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Bill & Oti</u></h4><div><u><br /></u></div><div>Bill and Oti get to open the show tonight, most likely because their routine is very deliberately Blackpool Tower ballroom-themed. I hope they blow the entire series' effects budget to AR the entire studio into the Blackpool Tower ballroom. In their VT, Oti explains that Bill will be emerging from a giant top hat and inviting her to dance at the Blackpool Tower. Now, I had a theory that there was a gas leak at Elstree this week that had gone unnoticed and every single person on the show was high as a kite because that would explain a lot, and I think this might have been the point where I started to think it? Oti talks a bit about how much she loves Blackpool Week, particularly because she has such lovely childhood memories of competing there as a child against Aljaž, Katya, Nadiya and Luba. (Hilariously, each of these is accompanied by a grainy childhood photo of said person except Luba, for whom apparently no such picture exists. Poor Luba.) Oti makes Bill watch her dancing at Blackpool with Danny Mac, and Bill says that he always thinks theatres have something of an atmosphere of all the people who have performed there over the years. This feels like a very Couple's Choice kind of VT? Anyway, Bill says he hopes they will be able to do Blackpool justice.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing an American smooth to 'I've Got You Under My Skin' and Bill does indeed emerge from a giant top hat in a very <i>Super Mario Odyssey</i> kind of way. There's something very elegant and Old Hollywood about the routine, and Bill does a pretty good job with it, although when they're not in hold he never seems to be completely confident about where his arms are meant to be going. In hold, though, it's all rather lovely, and Oti's choreography is truly lovely. I know we've had a bit of fun doing wacky Bill Bailey stuff for the last few weeks but it's nice to see that he can play it straight when required to as well. <i>[I liked his performance, but technically it wasn't all that for me, as you say, his arms were a mess - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Tess thanks the sensational singers who remain trapped behind perspex, and Shirley opens by saying that it was 53 years ago that she first danced at the Tower Ballroom, and she wants to thank Bill for opening the show with class and finesse. Anton reels off a list of things that he saw during the routine once again and compliments Bill's arm position, and then refers to Oti as "Otty". No big deal Anton, you've only worked alongside her for six years, no reason at all you should have learned <i>how to pronounce her name </i>in all that time. Craig thought Bill needed to open out a bit more and be a bit more expressive and point his foot when he does the jumps, but the hand-shaping was extraordinary and Bill is a revelation.</div><div><br /></div><div>Bill and Oti trot up to the Clauditorium, and Claudia asks if Bill was nervous tonight. Bill says he was, because it was very different to last week's routine - this week he had to stay calm and be refined and precise. Claudia then brings Bill's teenage son Dax up on screen to give the most teenage boy message of support there has ever been: "Hi Dad, good luck tonight, you'll probably smash it. Dunno how you got this far considering you're so clumsy [a woman's voice in the background, presumably Bill's wife Kristin, laughing "you can't say that!"], in all seriousness, we're all proud of you, so go for it. Oh, bring us something back from the garage, yeah?" Claudia sends out a message to Dax: please tell us specifically what you want from the garage, we will all get it for yo<i>u [If they have any Orange Twirls left, chuck one my way - Rad].</i> Oti says that she thinks she speaks for all the pros when they say that they miss it (Blackpool, not the garage), and for her, coming from South Africa, it was always something she looked up to. Scores are in: Craig 8, Shirley 9, Anton 8 for a total of 25. Bill is very happy with that score. <i>[9s though? I'd 7 that all day long. We're clearly on BLACKPOOL scoring tonight - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Doing the terms and conditions this week: Dina Asher-Smith, looking flawless. Can we get her on the show next year?</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Maisie & Gorka</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>Oof - putting Maisie in the death slot the week after she was in the bottom two? That's cold. Tess says that Maisie's plummet into the dance-off last week came as a shock to everyone (unless you've been looking on social media where people keep saying they "just can't take to that one off <i>EastEnders</i>"), and it's made Maisie more determined than ever to keep her place in the competition. In her VT, Maisie says she doesn't want to remember last week - the lights going red on her was such a scary feeling. Maisie adds that she thinks she was focusing so much on the beat that she wasn't thinking about the upper half of her body. She thinks that having the salsa this week will help to loosen her up and remove that rod from her back that Craig was complaining about last week. Gorka says she just needs to bring the Maisie that he sees in rehearsals to the studio on Saturday night. Unfortunately, Maisie says that just being herself is what she finds the hardest. Nonetheless, she says she wants to go from that stiff girl with a rod in her back to a "19-year-old loosey goose" at a party having fun.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to 'Better When I'm Dancin'' by Meghan Trainor, and I'm not sure what the wardrobe department were going for with Gorka this week but they appear to have landed on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCMF-4uCKFY">Fred Flintstone</a>? It's a much looser performance than last week with a lot of acrobatics thrown in that Maisie pulls off well, apart from one where Gorka throws her over his shoulder with a little bit too much enthusiasm and she lands off-balance and stumbles backwards, but to her credit she recovers quickly and doesn't miss a beat. It's a strong comeback routine - but is it memorable enough to get people to vote for her from a terrible performance slot? I'm not sure. <i>[I thought it was a very complex routine - possibly too much so, though she mostly coped - and it was a bit of a shame they death slotted this compared to... well, about 60% of the other routines tonight - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>She's absolutely knackered afterwards, bless her, as is Gorka. Anton says it was absolutely brilliant, and she was nice and fluid and loose this week. Anton comments on the awkward landing which Gorka immediately takes responsibility for, and Anton does the whole "yes I know Gorka I didn't like to mention it ha ha marvellous" thing and then, having been confronted by the idea of a professional dancer making themselves look bad in order to be supportive to their partner, a concept that is utterly alien to Anton Du Beke, he completely dries up and forgets what he was supposed to say next. He claws his way back by saying that he feels like Maisie has a lot more to give, and he wants to see her dance more like she does in rehearsals, because he's apparently just lifting lines from the VTs now. Craig says the bad landing was unfortunate, but he's going to blame Gorka for overthrowing her. He thought the isolation was amazing and her hips were fantastic - he thinks it was incredible. Shirley says it was a great way to come back from last week's dance-off, and she loved Maisie's use of the "feminine sensing zone", whatever that is, as well as her fearlessness. She says Maisie is getting better by the week.</div><div><br /></div><div>They head up to the Clauditorium to shake their booties some more, and Maisie says that she had the best time, which is what she's here to do - she's just happy to still be here. Maisie giggles that she's shown everyone her bruises from the lifts, and Gorka says she has so much trust in him from day one - he's very proud of her because she works very hard. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 9, Anton 9 for a total of 27, their highest score of the series.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>JJ & Amy</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>Next up are JJ and Amy with their own Blackpool-inspired quickstep. JJ says that he loved doing the jive last week, but it was a little bit heartbreaking when the scores came in because he'd worked so hard. He'd utterly convinced himself he was going home, but then he was declared safe on the results show - which was the biggest surprise ever. <i>[Not really though, was it, you done a war and a Royal in the same week, you were probably close to the top of the public vote - Rad] </i>JJ says that there are so many steps in this week's quickstep, and they are very complicated and massively varied. Amy runs through a long list of all the steps she's thrown into this one, and JJ says that he needs to make a comeback after last week's close shave. Their dance is set in the Blackpool illuminations, and JJ says that he feels a need to prove himself now that people have shown they believe in him.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to 'For Once In My Life', and Amy wasn't kidding when she mentioned how many different steps she'd put into this routine - it does look really difficult. I think JJ does a pretty great job of keeping up - he's definitely more at home in hold than he is doing side-by-side, but there's some lovely footwork on display. His frame could use a little bit of work, though - I know obviously he has physical limitations that are doubtless making it very hard for him, but there's some noticeable gapping throughout this routine and it would be nice to at least tighten that up a bit if at all possible.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tess tells JJ that she loved him singing along throughout, and JJ says that he couldn't help himself. Craig says that he normally hates it when people mouth along with the words, but on this occasion he thought it actually worked and was very enjoyable to watch. He thought it was a little bit jagged throughout and JJ's top half was moving around too much - it needed to be smoothed out. Shirley disagrees completely - she was impressed with JJ's vertical spine and the way he rolled smoothly through his feet. She was delighted with him. Anton reels off a list of steps that he saw, again, like this isn't <i>Catchphrase</i>, Anton, you can't just say what you see.</div><div><br /></div><div>JJ and Amy step quickly up to the Clauditorium, where JJ says that he goes out there and gives his all, but he particularly loved this week because it was an amazing dance. He adds there was a moment in it where he realised he was dancing with one of the best dancers in the world, and he's so lucky that he gets to be able to do that - it's like cooking with a Michelin-starred chef or getting a driving lesson from a Formula One driver. Apparently JJ's daughter is a big fan of Amy and copies all their moves, and JJ says he has to stay so she can learn all the styles. Scores: Craig 7, Shirley 9, Anton 9 for a total of 25. I like JJ, and that was a good routine, but...nines? Really? In this economy? <i>[THE SCORING TONIGHT THOUGH - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Clara & Aljaž</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>Last week Clara topped the leaderboard with her charleston - and this week she's got the samba. Oof. In her VT, she says that's the most free she's ever felt on the dancefloor, and Aljaž giggles that in every photo he's seen from the performance, Clara is just beaming with joy. Clara says she's not sure it will ever sink in that she topped the leaderboard. </div><div><br /></div><div>In training for the samba, Aljaž explains to her that the hips and the body never stop moving. Clara says that the concept for the routine is that she and Aljaž are going to be chefs (why?) and Aljaž says the routine will have three courses: the starter will be storytelling, the main will be technique, and for dessert the metaphor is going to fall apart. Oh well, they tried.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of which: they're dancing to 'That's The Way (I Like It)', and the chef's outfits are not especially flattering on either of them (I guess at least they put Clara in a dress rather than making her wear trousers?). I feel like this is a routine that should have suited Clara, given that most of her pre-interviews mentioned how much she wanted to do a samba, and it starts off well enough with good bounce and clean legwork, but unfortunately the wheels come off fairly quickly and from about 30 seconds in she just seems very lost. She's still Clara, so she's still selling it all from the neck upwards, but the body is telling a different story, sadly. It's a bump of a comedown after last week, and I think she might be in serious trouble.</div><div><br /></div><div>(Also, does Aljaž hate the samba? Or does he just like making it a theme week even when it's not a theme week? <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVUOly14xCU">This</a> would suggest so, as would <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3bQaZBwS0I">this</a>.) <i>[I think Aljaž's samba is long overdue an intervention at this point. I'd rather sit through one from ANTON - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Shirley says there is no mistaking the joy that Clara exudes when she's dancing, but it would be remiss of her to criticise Maisie's footwork and then let Clara's slide (I mean, if nothing else this show is fairly consistent in its inconsistency when it comes to picking up on sloppy footwork, but okay) - she says she couldn't always tell which foot Clara was on. She tells Clara that she can come back from this, but it was by far her weakest performance. Anton agrees that Clara's joy is wonderful and it carries her through, and she can light up the room with her performance. There were mistakes, but he doesn't want her to lose her enthusiasm because she has a wonderful freeness in her body and he thinks she is tremendous. Craig says it was very heavy, too into the floor, her feet were too far apart, she was pigeon-toed and her timing got out really badly, the batucadas were a disaster and he thinks Aljaž shouldn't have made her do so many. He admires the confident performance, but thinks this dance just didn't suit her.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the Clauditorium, Clara says she had a great time. Clara's mum has recorded a message for her, and it is so wholesome - "we are looking forward to seeing you tonight in your new outfit, I hope it is not too short". The scores come in, and they are not pretty: Craig 5, Shirley 6, Anton 7 for a total of 18. Yeah, looks like Clara is going to be bottom of the leaderboard tonight unless someone else literally faceplants.<i> [And with those outfits and an Aljaž samba I feel she isn't very responsible for that herself, poor Clara - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Jamie & Karen</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>After the obligatory preview of the four couples yet to perform, we move on to Jamie & Karen with (sigh) their Couple's Choice street dance. Are we even bothering with anything else this year? Is anyone going to do a contempowaft? [<i>JJ and Amy, if they get that far, betcha - Ra</i>d<i>] </i>I can't imagine anyone other than Caroline has any interest in theatre/jazz. We get the obligatory emotional TV about how well Jamie and Karen get on, what a loving person he is, and this is backed up by a call from his best friend Spencer Matthews. I'm not necessarily sure that "mates with Spencer" is a ringing endorsement of someone's taste and general social circle, but what do I know. Jamie says that his biggest supporter is his sister, Baroness Von Biscuits, and she says that he is a kind person and the most fearless person she knows. My favourite part of all of this is after showcasing his best mate and his sister, Jamie finally gets around to being all "oh yeah and I have a girlfriend called Sophie", like I bet she's thrilled at finishing <i>third</i>. Jamie reminds us that he waited a full year to be on this show, and he's dedicating this dance to his friends and family.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to 'Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)' by C&C Music Factory, with a theme of performing around a dance machine at an amusement arcade. (There's even a "dance tempo" button that Jamie turns up two-thirds of the way through.) It's fine, and it's fun, but... in this year where the series is shorter and there are several styles that no one will get to learn, Couple's Choice feels like an indulgence too many, especially when it's essentially given out as a week's holiday from having to learn much in the way of technique or indeed worrying that you might not get a high score from the judges. And to be perfectly honest, I'm peeved that I've endured four street dances this year and no one's even done a rumba yet? Kudos to Jamie on delivering this routine, but my patience for Couple's Choice as a genre (and I say that in the loosest possible meaning of the word) is wearing very thin at this point. <i>[Agreed, but I will say this was easily my favourite Couple's Choice of the series, and the one that felt most genuinely street 'commercial'. Not that it's a strong field - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>The machine flashes up "TOP SCORE" (spoiler) as it ends and Shirley's on her feet. Anton says this dance is all about the style and the timing, and Jamie nailed it. He says it was Jamie's best dance by about a thousand miles. Craig said he worried it was going to be like "the homeboys of Belgravia" but he was wrong: it was amazing. He was just a bit disappointed by the lack of a headspin - Jamie insists that he wanted to. Shirley says she's a big fan of Karen's watching her dance like this, but Jamie absolutely held his own and he was indeed that (checks notes) "home boy". </div><div><br /></div><div>In the Clauditorium, Jamie does the same "straight outta West Brompton" joke he did on <i>It Takes Two </i>this week, and says it felt great. He says that it's hard because Karen looks so cool when she dances and he doesn't feel cool. Scores: Craig 9, Shirley 10, Anton 10 for a total of 29.</div><div>No. </div><div><br /></div><div>Just-over-halfway leaderboard:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. Jamie & Karen - 29</div><div>2. Maisie & Gorka - 27</div><div>3=. Bill & Oti - 25</div><div>3=. JJ & Amy - 25</div><div>5. Clara & Aljaž - 18</div><div><br /></div><div>I repeat: no. <i>[Literally every one of those dances is overmarked. Including Clara, sorry Clara - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>HRVY & Janette</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>HRVY says that last week the salsa lived up to all his expectations and he got a 10 from Shirley, and he's really pleased to be getting all the critiques from the judges because that's how he's going to learn and get better. This week he's got the tango, which he thinks is the hardest one he's had to do so far. Janette agrees that she's given him a really difficult routine. HRVY explains that Janette has told him not to have "these bad internal conversations with myself" and to believe in himself more. He says that he signed up for the <i>Strictly </i>challenge and this is definitely a challenge. I just hope he didn't sign up for the Cha Cha Challenge or whatever that would have been this year, because I imagine that has been ruled out by the 'rona.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to 'Golden' by Harry Styles (apparently, it's not a song I'm familiar with, #TeamNiall) and, much like all those other routines that HRVY did where he feared he wouldn't get it, he kind of nails it. There's a nice staccato energy to it, lots of sharp snaps, he's driving the routine well and doing a great job of partnering Janette. If I had to nitpick, I'd say the pressure of remembering it all shows on his face sometimes, but otherwise: a good routine, nice storytelling, well-delivered, all in all another strong showing from these two. <i>[I wasn't keen but I don't know how much of that was the fact the AR was raining so much gold over them I couldn't see what they were doing half the time - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Craig says he spotted a couple of mistakes in there and he thinks HRVY knows that, and he would liked to have seen it more on one level, but he loved the power of that dance and the control HRVY had over it. Shirley says that everyone has high expectations for HRVY and every week he delivers - there were mistakes, but what was impressive was the way he picked up and carried on. She tells him that his frame has fantastic potential to be the next king of ballroom - although it wasn't quite there - and move Anton off the throne. HRVY, sensibly spotting that Anton is next in line to comment, quickly clarifies that he has absolutely no intention of staging a coup. Anton loved the choreography, particularly the syncopated chase, and HRVY pulled it off beautifully. He particularly likes HRVY's frame and the way he moves his whole torso and not just his arms.</div><div><br /></div><div>À propos of nothing, can I just say how much I like all the metallic-gold elements of HRVY and Janette's outfits this week? I really want that shirt he's got on, although I suspect it would wash me right out.</div><div><br /></div><div>Claudia says that she saw HRVY fretting all week on <i>It Takes Two </i>about how hard he found the tango, and HRVY says that it really didn't come naturally to him at all, but they worked really hard, and Janette has been the best partner he could ask for. Janette says that HRVY has all the potential to be a fantastic dancer, and he was so nervous all week, so she's just impressed with what he's been able to do. Scores: Craig 8, Shirley 9, Anton 9 for a total of 26. HRVY is overjoyed, he was expecting fours. From <i>this </i>panel? Really? <i>Tonight</i>?</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Caroline & Johannes</u></h4><div><u><br /></u></div><div>This weekend they've got "a feisty, flirty cha cha cha", according to Johannes. Caroline says that she's been told by Johannes that her body needs to be much further forward than usual, which she's finding rather alien. Caroline explains the story of the routine: she's a woman doing her domestic chores, and Johannes will be the handsome fireman who encounters her. She adds that people generally know her work through comedy and she hopes that some of that comedy will feature in her dance. She offers to give Johannes some acting lessons and the results are...middling, but for good measure Johannes brings a vintage fire engine to the studios, which Caroline is absolutely delighted by. The fireman's lift that he gives her afterwards, less so.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to 'Rescue Me' by Fontella Bass, and I apologise to Rad and all the other vegetarians/vegans out there because this routine is a six-course banquet of <i>ham</i>. Caroline is gurning for the back row of a room that she's not even in, Johannes is mugging away as she tries to seduce him, there's even a bit in it where she mimes lasciviously licking his guns, because I guess someone has to step up for Tess this year? There is also some cha cha cha in there which seems broadly well-danced (and I mean 'broadly' in every sense), but it feels almost beside the point somehow.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tess says she loved seeing that different side of Caroline tonight, and Shirley is beside herself with mirth - she thinks Caroline can sell anything. She loved Caroline's flow and her sense of time - she moved around the floor just like the judges have been asking her to, and there were changes of rhythm in there as well. Shirley seeks clarification that Caroline was indeed licking his arm at one point, and Caroline confirms that she was licking his arm "for the nation". Anton says that Caroline seemed to be having a (ha ha) marvellous time, and he loves to watch her dance - she always looks terrific. He thinks this is the way to do a cha cha - a proper number, and her feet and legs were a joy. He thinks this was by far her best dance of the series. Craig opines that Johannes is the one who really needed rescuing, but he loved it - straight legs, arm placement, cheeky and cheesy, all the things that he loves.</div><div><br /></div><div>They head up to the Clauditorium, where Claudia points out that Caroline might be the only person all series who's really enjoyed the cha cha cha. Caroline giggles that they've probably enjoyed themselves a bit too much this week, if anything. Scores: Craig 8, Shirley 8, Anton 8 for a total of 24. "I can't do maths! That's quite a lot!" Caroline squeals.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Ranvir & Giovanni</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>Closing the show with our first Argentine tango of the series (before we've had a rumba!!!!!!!!!!) <i>[I am sooooo fucked off at this, I love a rumba, it's legitimately the one dance I'd like to try - Rad]</i>, it's Ranvir & Giovanni. Ranvir was very nervous last week, and rightly so because her cha cha cha was bobbins. She remembers doing an almost-Clara last week as she went from the top of the leaderboard to almost at the bottom - but mostly she's just glad to have it out of the way. In training, Giovanni gives her a lesson in the differences between the ballroom tango and the Argentine tango. His transformation into strict lecturer is apparently less than convincing, given how much Ranvir giggles throughout the lesson. Ranvir says there's a lot that goes into an Argentine tango, but she hopes that by Saturday night it will all come together in a beautiful package.</div><div><br /></div><div>They're dancing to an arrangement of 'When Doves Cry' that I don't much care for (although I guess you'd want to avoid comparisons to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVx1CskHlcc">Rachel and Vincent</a> if you know what's good for you) with plenty of mood lighting, and Ranvir looks amazing. If I'm grading on atmosphere and sensuality then this is easily a 10, but if you look at the footwork, it's not quite as convincing: it's all a bit noodly and unsure, and most of the time she just comes across like she's got her heel caught in something and she's trying to free it without attracting too much attention. Argentine tangos on this show in general are often a bit of a triumph of style over substance, and it definitely feels that way to me here - from the knees up, it's great, but that lowest quarter isn't up to snuff. <i>[Yeah, agreed, amazing atmosphere, but he was kicking her legs back into place half the time - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Anton says he didn't blink at all while watching it, and Ranvir has wonderful intensity - he's drawn into the moment that the two of them had together. Craig would have liked to see a straight leg in the second lunge - "we went for a bent one", Giovanni insists, and Craig tells him a straight one would've looked nicer. Nonetheless, Craig loved all the detail in there. Shirley says she it made her hot under the collar - she thinks Ranvir is very feminine but extremely powerful, and it felt like they were in their own room and we were all watching through the window. (I guess the "they shaggin'?" question is getting asked as much in the studio as it is in our homes.) She was particularly excited by their lips puckering, to the extent that she decides to re-enact it much to the alarm of both Ranvir ("me mum's watching!") and Craig. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ranvir and Giovanni head up to the Clauditorium where that gas leak-induced mass hallucination kicks in again and Ranvir speaks at length (<i>at length</i>) about what an honour it is for a Lancashire lass to get to close the show in Blackpool week. <i>You. Are. In. Borehamwood!</i> Scores: Craig 8, Shirley 9, Anton 10 for a total of 27.</div><div><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Final leaderboard</u></h4><div><br /></div><div>1. Jamie & Karen - 29</div><div>2=. Maisie & Gorka - 27</div><div>2=. Ranvir & Giovanni - 27</div><div>4. HRVY & Janette - 26</div><div>5=. Bill & Oti - 25</div><div>5=. JJ & Amy - 25</div><div>7. Caroline & Johannes - 24</div><div>8. Clara & Aljaž - 18</div><div><br /></div><div>Imagine watching the week one show and someone telling you Jamie Laing would be topping the leaderboard in week five. Imagine someone telling you he'd score two 10s before Maisie scored any! I've heard people bringing up the fact that there's been a different person at the top of the leaderboard every week so far and how that proves what a close competition it is, but honestly I think it's saying a lot more about the standard of the judging this year than it is about the cast.<i> [I wouldn't have given any 10s tonight at all, and not sure how they're going to build from here, as two 29s by week 5 leaves us a lot of early 30s potentially. That said, I think I liked Jamie the best tonight, I'm sorry. I didn't vote for him if that helps (Maisie/Clara/Caroline) - Rad]</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, justice for Clara, done so dirty.</div><div><br /></div><div>Before the lines open, we teleconference in with Motsi, who is looking glittery and wonderful. She wants to tell everyone how hard they've all worked. Claudia asks her what she thought of the first Argentine tango of the series, and Motsi tells Ranvir that she is clearly very comfortable in her partner's hands (steady!) and she's definitely improved the co-ordination in the lower part of her body. Motsi declares the vote open, and literally everyone I follow on Twitter raced to rescue Clara, that's how I know I follow the right people.</div><div><br /></div><div>After a recap of tonight's performances, Claudia sends her love to Blackpool and hopes that we will see it again next year. God, I hope so - the thought of still having to take COVID precautions this time next year is really, really depressing. In tomorrow night's show, Billy Ocean will be performing a medley of his greatest hits and there'll be another fabulous pro dance - and, of course, someone is going home...</div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-34129269802474428222020-11-21T13:18:00.001+00:002020-11-21T13:18:56.965+00:00This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...<h4 style="text-align: left;"> Monday</h4><div>- Doing <i>Strictly </i>meant that Max got to meet the nicest people, and he got to meet Dianne. (He's going to regret phrasing it like that when he watches it back, isn't he?)</div><div>- Zoe thinks it must have been hard to follow Simpsonsdance with 'something technical'. SHADE.</div><div>- Max didn't know what "hands like spatulas" meant, and thought it might be a compliment.</div><div>- Max's favourite dance was "the last one we did". Which probably means he can't remember the names of any of them.</div><div>- Max wants Maisie to win because then he can say he got beaten 2-1 by the winner.</div><div>- We never did learn what Max's hand/wrist injury was.</div><div>- Lockdown has given Zoe 'more to jiggle' than she had before.<span><a name='more'></a></span></div><div>- Janette's family have given HRVY a nickname which she says means 'The Cuban' but no idea if she's telling the truth or not.</div><div>- HRVY can't really remember if anyone was voted out after the first show or not.</div><div>- HRVY wants to see his nans try to salsa.</div><div>- HRVY feels stronger and less "noodly" from doing the lifts.</div><div>- HRVY and Janette have tango this week.</div><div>- HRVY's tiger impression sounds like a kitten.</div><div>- It was Janette's birthday and they gave her a toy rabbit with a badly cut-out photo of Aljaž's face on.</div><div>- Aljaž laughs even when he doesn't understand the show's jokes.</div><div>- Aljaž knew Clara's charleston would be good from the first day.</div><div>- Aljaž pronounces "ghetto" like "gecko".</div><div>- For her charleston, Clara was pretending she was Josephine Baker <i>and </i>Betty Boop (although she said 'Betty Boo' so it's possible she was was thinking about 'Where are you Baby'... and hopefully not 'Hey DJ (I Can't Dance)')</div><div>- Craig's little 'I never want to see that again...' fake-out got Clara good.</div><div>- Clara injured her hand on Saturday but she's fine now, honest.</div><div>- Clara's mum is making sure that she and Aljaž eat their vegetables and lots of fish.</div><div>- Clara is very giddy about doing a whisk this week.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Tuesday</u></h4><h4 style="text-align: left;"><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Erin thought the jive would be the end for JJ but she was actually pleasingly surprised with his energy.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Erin wants JJ to sell the dances more, even after they threw Prince Harry and a war porn at it on Saturday.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Erin thinks the problem with Maisie's cha cha was that there weren't enough changes in pace.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- If Erin is being 'nit-pickety' she isn't a fan of HRVY's facial expressions.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Gorka thinks celebrities struggle with cha cha because there are fewer places to hide bad technique than in the samba or jive.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Maisie completely agrees with Craig's criticism of her being too stiff.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Cha cha cha was Jake Wood's least favourite dance. What, even compared to Greekentine Tango?</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Nadiya has been dancing for as long as Graziano has been alive.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Nadiya and Graziano went to visit some Ukrainian Hopak dancers and Gaziano didn't too too well standing up but was fine balancing on one arm.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Nadiya loves spinning.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Bill's dance forced Erin to invent a lot of versions of -ography (e.g. briefcaseography)</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- If you move your weight forward in the cha cha it'll look quicker.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Bill has become an expert on the history of pop and lock.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Shirley was dancing along with Bill's street commercial.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Danny Mac thought Bill's street commercial thought it was the best dance he'd ever seen on the show.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- The Wurzels are Bill Bailey fans.</div><div style="font-weight: 400;">- Bill loves wafting around the dance floor. Now I'm a bit gutted we were denied his contempowaft.</div></h4><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Wednesday</u></h4><div>- Nicola doesn't seem to have terribly good internet at home.</div><div>- Nicola and Katya have been keeping in touch over isolation via FaceTime.</div><div>- Nicola and Katya will be back to dance one last time, not competitively. And they'll be on It Takes Two when they've finished their quarantine.</div><div>- Ian Waite is copying HRVY's haircut.</div><div>- Caroline and Johannes are doing 10-hour rehearsal days.</div><div>- Johannes has a belt with a long yellow string dangling in front of it.</div><div>- HRVY needs to drop his elbow a bit, and to look up, not down.</div><div>- Janette is the only person who can carry off beige cycling shorts.</div><div>- JJ found his uniform "heavy" to jive in.</div><div>- Amy kept count of how many times Prince Harry said her name (7).</div><div>- Amy is a little bit embarrassed about how excited she got when she and JJ were called safe at the weekend.</div><div>- Giovanni has had a sneak preview of JJ and Amy's quickstep and he was impressed.</div><div>- Giovanni likes JJ's package.</div><div>- Jamie is sweating like mad in training.</div><div>- Bill needs to alter his where his eyes are looking when he's in ballroom hold.</div><div>- Ian's gold star was for Bill this week, which is odd as he wasn't very enthusiastic about Bill's training footage.</div><div>- This weekend's pro dance is set at the beach, and Anton will be playing a tourist who gets to touch Katya's bum a lot.</div><div>- Lisa riley is team Ranvir and also apparently doesn't capitalise her surname.</div><div>- Dan Walker thinks Ranvir has always had good hips. Sexual harassment suit presumably incoming.</div><div>- Giovanni says that Ranvir's cha cha cha on Saturday was better than it was at the beginning of the week. Well, that's something.</div><div>- Ranvir openly admits her cha cha cha "wasn't good".</div><div>- Ranvir doesn't think trending on Twitter is as big a deal as everyone else on this show does.</div><div>- Giovanni and Ranvir are both confident about their Argentine Tango.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Thursday</u></h4><div>- Caroline thinks the cha cha cha is like doing a cryptic crossword, knitting a jumper and running a bath all at the same time.</div><div>- Gorka dropped Maisie and it looked like he almost dislocated her shoulder in the process, eeep.</div><div>- Bill will be wearing a crystalled top hat on Saturday.</div><div>- It has taken wardrobe several weeks to make Maisie's salsa dress. Good job she wasn't eliminated last week then.</div><div>- Clara will be wearing a chef's jacket for her samba?!</div><div><div>- There were about 4800 threads of fringing on Clara's charleston dress.</div><div>- The old Guess Who pro quiz thing has been replaced by 'pro and tell' which has fewer (i.e. none) hilarious illustrations of the pros.</div><div>- Oti is the pro with the worst timekeeping.</div></div><div>- Johannes thinks it doesn't matter whether the chicken or the egg came first.</div><div>- Graziano is very enthusiastic about dogs.</div><div>- Nancy likes cats.</div><div>- Shirley would have saved Max because he had more 'quality'.</div><div>- Bill is the dancer who has wowed Shirley the most this year.</div><div>- Bending your legs in the jive and samba can hide a multitude of sins.</div><div>- Shirley once broke her nose during the United Kingdom championship semi-finals - the doctors patched her up and she went on to win in the finals.</div><div>- If she hadn't been a dancer, Shirley would have liked to be a politician.</div><div>- If she could dance with a member of the royal family, Shirley would pick Prince Charles because he's "so elegant and so charming".</div><div>- Shirley doesn't like pizza, and neither does Gethin.</div><div>- Shirley likes to kick a football about and she's a Liverpool fan, whilst Gethin supports Everton.</div><div>- Clara went on holiday to Brazil a few years ago.</div><div>- Caroline was disappointed with her waltz because she thought she'd do better at it.</div><div>- Johannes had to be clever in coming up with choreography that could cope with height difference.</div><div>- Caroline's cha cha cha is currently "a work in progress".</div><div>- Johannes is anxious because he got knocked out around this time last year with a cha cha cha.</div><div>- Johannes keeps calling Caroline "Catherine" in rehearsals.</div><div>- Caroline's heels smell disgusting.</div><div>- Caroline's taken to directing the camera operators.</div><div><br /></div><div><h4><u>Friday</u></h4><div>- Jamie's shimmy came from 'the depths of hell'.</div></div><div>- Karen is copying JJ and wearing shorts. When will these people realise it's November?</div><div>- Gethin can't remember how much he scored for his samba.</div><div>- Karen has a long list of 'more' she wants from Jamie: more energy, more concentration, more talent...</div><div>- Jamie has a sports bra.</div><div>- Karen isn't here for soppiness.</div><div>- Michelle Visage is a Jamie fan.</div><div>- Jamie is "straight outta West Brompton".</div><div>- Karen was dancing on cardboard on the streets of the Bronx when she was 8. Jamie... was also 8 at one point.</div><div>- Tess is missing being close to Claudia.</div><div>- Tess normally looks after Claudia before the show and helps calm her nerves and Claudia misses that.</div><div>- Tess likes that the top of the leaderboard keeps changing.</div><div>- Claudia is awful at predicting who will do well in the show.</div><div>- Claudia has terrible eyesight. Can't think the fringe will be helping that.</div><div>- Claudia is settled on the 'chatterpillar' for the discussion with couples, thanks to 9-year old Kit.</div><div>- Sometimes Tess and Claudia change their minds about what they're going to wear on the show if they had a curry the night before.</div><div>- The Friday panel are Gyles Brandreth, Alexandra Burke and Bobby Seagull.</div><div>- Gyles has a special BLACKPOOL jumper.</div><div>- Bobby isn't very used to live TV.</div><div>- Gyles doesn't think JJ will be bottom of the table this week.</div><div>- Gyles thinks there'll be an erotic charge from Ranvir this week.</div><div>- Alexandra is the sort of person you need to have around when you're on live TV and there's dead air because she spots it and takes charge.</div><div>- Bobby used to have a crush on Caroline when she was in <i>Jonathan Creek</i>.</div><div>- Gyles is aghast that Shirley would have saved Max and Dianne and he is demanding Bonnie Langford votes for Maisie.</div><div>- Alexandra thinks HRVY looks like a professional dancer. </div><div>- HRVY is Gyles's wife's favourite.</div><div>- Gyles doesn't think Jamie is in any way street.</div><div>- Bobby and Alexandra think JJ will be going home and Gyles thinks Jamie.</div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-83044799641619684132020-11-15T21:00:00.003+00:002020-11-22T10:49:02.384+00:00Maxed Out<p><b>Week 4: Top 9 Results -</b><b> November 15 2020</b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last night! Everything was a bit weird, but given the
nightmare week they’d just had, it was a miracle it all happened and went as
well as it did. Also, Anton done a judging and mostly made it about himself,
peppered with resurrecting the ghost of Len, but did chuck in one or two useful
comments along the way. JJ's war jive tanked, and Clara's Charleston swivelled its way to the top of the leaderboard.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Tonight! I genuinely don't know who will hit the bottom two, which is quite exciting!</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p class="MsoNormal">We open with a disco-themed pro dance to ‘Papa’s Got a
Brand-New Bag’ and ‘Boogie Wonderland’. It’s set in a supermarket in which
Anton is the manager; Karen, Oti, Giovanni and are employees and everyone else
is a customer. There’s lots of flirting, including Johannes flirting with Gorka
until he sees Gorka has a baby. Apparently daddies aren’t hot? That goes
against what I believe the conventional wisdom to be, but gotta admit someone
covered in milk and mashed banana stains who moans constantly about not
sleeping probably wouldn’t do it for me either. [<i>Also boo to the heteronormativity of assuming that someone with a baby must be straight, I demand a pro dance where Gorka and Johannes are hot daddies raising a collection of adorable gaybies. - Steve</i>] Then Nancy picks up Neil and
wheels him around in her shopping trolley what a kooky goddess please let us
see her with a partner next year. It’s all very entertaining though – and I
actually think the pro dances this year might be even better for the lack of
having to rush through them in a live setting? (I get that it’d be worse for a
studio audience to come and not see the pros doing a routine though, obviously).</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess and Claudia enter: Claudia in a red dress and red lippy
with her hair up, which is a different look for her, but I like it, and Tess in
a sparkly blue and black tiger print dress with awkward shoulders. She does look
a bit like she’s off out for a night on the tiles in 1980s’ Essex, but that
doesn’t sound like a bad evening out, make mine a Taboo (but which one are you?)
(LOL you’re Taboo too, literally no-one has ever drunk Mirage). The judges
enter: Shirley in a natty green shift dress and the men in suits – Craig’s in
boring black, Anton has a grey velvet jacket.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We get our recap of last night, and Motsi’s on duty, meaning
Bruno has even less to do to earn those big bucks. She calls HRVY ‘powerful’
and ‘rhythmical’ then doesn’t get to say anything until calling JJ ‘old school
quality’, Jamie ‘infectious’ and Bill having ‘brought it’. Also of note:
Caroline treats getting 22 like being told her dog has to be put down and
Johannes says ‘and we’re delighted about it!’<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The first set of safety results reveals the following are
through: Caroline and Johannes; HRVY and Janette; JJ and Amy (JJ is shocked,
Amy screams the house down and JJ eye-rolls down the camera whilst she
collapses on him in hysterics, heh); Clara and Aljaž (Clara still looked nervous
despite topping the leader board in a nine-couple week), with the first couple
in the bottom being… Maisie and Gorka. I’m not super surprised as I didn’t
think they’d have a solid fan base, and they were very mid-table. If Nicola
were still here they might have been safe for another week.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess asks Maisie and Gorka how they’re feeling and Pissy Gorka
says ‘Great!’ <3. Shirley says that Maisie hitting the dance-off proves that
anything can happen, so she should not take any prisoners, fight for her place and
do what Gorka has told her to… and be up against anyone other than Bill, I
assume.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Claudia reads through more possible names for the couple’s
chat: ‘pairs on the stairs’ and ‘Claud’s Chatterpillar’ which is her personal
favourite. Caroline says Johannes nearly broke her thumb squeezing it too hard
when they were called safe, and we learn that when she makes mistakes in
training, he tells her what she did was ‘interesting’. Next week they have the
cha cha and Caroline says she’s terrified because everyone says it’s the
hardest dance. Remember when it was always seen as the easy one?! HRVY says he face-timed
his mum after he got a 10 and she was drinking a cup of tea, rock’n’roll.
Janette’s mum texted her in Spanglish. We also learn that HRVY loves Mondays
but hates Tuesdays, because he likes starting new things but hates having to
focus on technique, and honestly, I relate so hard to that. JJ says he’s had
his life saved more than once in uniform before and now it’s happened again (!).
Claudia points out Clara looked nervous even though she was on top, and Clara
says she’ll never take being safe for granted. Claudia tells her she got 3 10s.
I mean… she didn’t, unless Claudia’s also keeping an imaginary spreadsheet of
Bruno scores like quite a few superfans.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This week’s guest performance is from The Vamps, who I’ve
never really ‘got’ and this track (‘Married in Vegas’) isn’t changing that for
me. Neil and Nancy are on dancing duties, giving us mostly cha cha cha with a
couple of lifts thrown in, a perfect match of song and dance that are both fine
but instantly forgettable. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Time for Dance Debrief, and someone has cobbled together a backdrop
for Virtual Bruno that looks like the studio. Week four everyone! Craig
explains what a lockstep is and says he can’t believe Maisie is in the
dance-off despite the judges’ scores. Anton goes on about Max’s left arm as if
that’s a thing anyone has ever cared about. We then see Karen stopping Jamie
doing a botafogo too early, which looks hilarious, and Shirley praises Jamie
for improving so much after being in the bottom two. Bruno’s contractually
obligated line of the week is saying that Clara made him feel like he was back
in the 1920s which Craig ‘would remember’ despite being younger than him. (Also,
I googled Craig and Anton’s ages and was SHOOK that Craig is a year older than
Anton when I would totally have pegged them the other way round.) </p><p class="MsoNormal">On the Anton thing then - I will admit he gave one or two useful comments and if he did more of that, it would be good, but mostly his Anton-ness was too much for me, especially when he channelled Len in places. It's possible he might settle into more of a groove next week if he calms down a bit, makes it less about him and discovers the lower range of paddles, but overall... I can see why he was never top of the list for a judging chair.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We get a plug for the spin-offs and socials: It Takes Two;
the podcast; the weird BBC Blu Hydrangea thing that seems to be mainly there as
a reminder that Drag Race UK is still a thing despite lockdown delaying filming
and does not seem appealing to me in the least even though I love Drag Race
generally; Instagram; Twitter; YouTube; Facebook; TikTok; Tumblr; WeChat; AOL;
MSN Messenger; and Ceefax.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And now for the rest of the results. Safe: Bill and Oti and
of the three remaining couples, Max and Dianne; Ranvir and Giovanni and Jamie and
Karen, who all look like it might be them, Jamie and Karen are also safe. Ranvir
and Giovanni are safe as well, leaving Max and Dianne to dance-off. I can’t help
but feel this is the nation trying to exorcise last week from our collective
memory.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Max says it’ll be nice to have one last chance to dance it,
as he knows he’s going home, and Anton says he’s done well so far and to just
give his best.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, we cover Jamie working through his nerves
and he and Karen have street dance next week. Jamie says in rehearsals she’s
occasionally doing the moves and when he asks her what they are she says ‘street
dance, don’t worry, you’ll never get it’. 4/5 Couple’s Choices = ‘street dance’
this series is it, mm-hmm. Bill talks about his 17 year old son texting him and
Oti says she appreciates Bill taking on all her crazy. Ranvir thanks everyone
for keeping her safe and says it’s been a very emotional week for her. Next week
they have the first…. Argentine Tango. I mean, I like the AT fine, but if the
show thinks it’s OK to chuck even more cha cha and street commercial at us, someone
better be doing a filthy dirty rumba and a lovely Blackpool quickstep so help
me god.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Next week: (Spirit of) BLACKPOOL week! I don’t know what
that means but I do know it means I’m on (Spirit of) BLACKPOOL hangover week, grr.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the dance-off, Max is doing about as little as he did the
first time, but I guess when the routine’s mostly choreographed around the pro
dancer you can’t really change it. Both he and Maisie seem a bit deflated by
being in the dance-off, actually, but Maisie is clearly the stronger dancer and
I can’t see it being anything other than a 3-0.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says both couples took the notes on board and improved
things, but he’s saving Maisie and Gorka. Anton says it was really close and drags
out his verdict, saying in the end it was the smallest timing issues but he’s
also saving them. Shirley then says she would have saved Max and Dianne (I love
it when Shirley randomly takes offence at someone doing Latin less than
perfectly). Max thanks Dianne and says the fellow competitors are the nicest
group of people. We watch their journey: Max’s nehves, not being Jay, some
mid-table stuff for two weeks, A WEEK IN WHICH NOTHING HAPPENED AT ALL, and a
low-energy American Smooth.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dianne says he’s done four incredible dances (nice of her to
count the opening show there) and she thanks everyone, including the judges.
And as they pan away from the judges, this reminds me of something I forgot to
mention last night: above the judges there are some seats, and because of
social distancing, the last few weeks each seat has just had a single person in
it, and when the camera pans out to reveal a person sitting above each judge,
it looks EXACTLY like the Muppet Show. There’s a missed movie week opportunity
for you: Neil and Nadiya as Statler and Waldorf providing a grumpy running
commentary about how they’d have choreographed that better; the producers as
the Swedish chef chasing Coronavirus chickens; Tess as Miss Piggy and a set of
GUNZ as Kermit, I want it. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Max and Dianne dance (or mostly hug) out to ‘World of Our Own’
and that is some next level boyband-rivalry trolling from the song-choice team.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We get a reminder to donate to Children in Need and there’s
no post-show debrief. Next week: whatever the heck a (Spirit of) BLACKPOOL week
is. Join Steve to find out!<o:p></o:p></p>Radhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17031764260176803659noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-31859309999283481062020-11-15T19:23:00.015+00:002020-11-22T10:42:59.671+00:00Clarafication<p><b>Week 4: Top 9 Perform -</b><b> 14 November 2020</b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/11/the-good-bad-and-simpsons.html" target="_blank">Last</a> <a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/11/for-whom-bell-tolls.html" target="_blank">week</a>! Moviecalsandtv week part 1 brought us a beautiful<i> DreamGirls</i> foxtrot, a funny <i>Hercules </i>Charleston, a wonky version of 'Elsa' and THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED. Now, it’s Strictly lore that the week after a theme week is
usually a bit crackers. This is most evident in BLACKPOOL hangover week, of
course, but it’s worth remembering that (I say to myself as much as anyone),
not least as this week’s show comes after a week of nightmares in which Katya
and Nicola, Rylan and Motsi were all forced to sit out and the production team
will no doubt have been scrabbling to adjust. What I’m saying is, that if
madness ensues tonight, as it surely will, well, there are reasons why
everything might feel a bit off-kilter. That, and Simpsonsdance has fried
everyone’s brains – much like all major catastrophes, we are all just trying to
readjust to what life looks like in the aftermath and mourning for before when everything
seemed so good and pure.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We open with a little pre-credits montage of everyone saying
it’s hard work but they’re enjoying it, and it’s all very wholesome, if a
little rote.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To the credits! Such an innocent time when Anton was kept confined
to being first boot and sitting in the background, I miss it already.<o:p></o:p></p><span></span><span><a name='more'></a></span><p class="MsoNormal">Tess and Claud enter, both in black dresses, but Tess’s is
sparkly velvet and Claud’s has a suit vibe. Both looking good – their Saturday
outfits have generally been an improvement this year. The judges enter: Shirley
in a taupe sparkly dress, Guest Judge Anton in a classic tux with bow tie, and
Craig in a black shirt and navy jacket. Anton is grinning like the cat that got
the cream and already I’m cursing Steve that the two weeks I got to recap
involve both Simpsonsdance and Anton getting way too much screen time. [<i>Yeah, but just wait until you see what I've got coming. - Steve, Writing From The Future</i>]</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">(Look, much as I’d have preferred Erin/Ian/Kevin/Jo/Any
other former pro, I get it would be hard to use someone who isn’t already part
of the production given everything that’s going on. But I also can’t pretend I
wouldn’t have rather they went down the hilarity route of giving Graziano and/or
Nancy some lines. Or just had Motsi on a screen, which is what I’d been hoping
they’d do. Still, I will do my best to be fair on him, even if my body is
threatening to cringe itself inside out. It’s not even him so much as all the
rabid Anton stans who think he wuzrobbed any time they cast a new judge and think
of him as a LEGEND rather than annoying gurn-and-ego factory who peaked in
series 1 save for a couple of komedy highlights with Nancy and Susannah and OK
I’ll grudgingly admit his partnership with Lesley Joseph was sweet).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Claud jokes that Anton needed ‘much persuasion’ and ‘reluctantly’
took the role and Anton says he’ll try to be much more generous than Craig and
Shirley have been to him over the years.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Our couples enter: Caroline and Johannes; Max and Dianne;
Clara and Aljaz; JJ and Amy; Maisie and Gorka; Ranvir and Giovanni; Jamie and
Karen; HRVY and Janette; and Bill and Oti.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As usual, Max is the only one not dancing to the theme tune.
Mate, after last week let’s not kid ourselves you’re too ‘cool’ for these
larks. Everyone then whoops and hollers really loudly to make up for the lack
of studio audience. Tess and Claudia tell us that Nicola and Katya have had to
withdraw but reassure us that they’re both feeling fine and self-isolating don’t
call Ofcom.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>HRVY and Janette</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their VT is all about how they have salsa, which is Janette’s
favourite dance. She says that whilst she’s from Cuba and has been dancing it
all her life, the dance comes from several places and also has its origins in
Puerto Rico, Colombia and Venezuela, which was quite educational, thanks
Janette! We also get some home videos of Janette salsaing with her family and
talking some more about how much she loves it, and HRVY says he’s doing it for
Janette’s family. What is this, couple’s choice?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing to ‘Dynamite’ which I can never sing along to
without singing ‘with a little fucking soul’ because I am twelve. (See also: ‘I
wanna fuck, I wanna F.F.U.F.U.C.K.’ when singing ‘Step Back in Time’ by Kylie) [<i>Wow, we are the EXACT same person. - Steve</i>] Generally
this is well danced, but the problem is that because he’s a DIRTY RINGAH I want
something exceptional from him, and I don’t really get that here. I don’t think
it’s anywhere near as good as Janette’s salsa with Jake – possibly because
there are fewer gimmicks, possibly due to his performance expressions always
being ‘grin blandly’. The lifts are complex but that’s mostly due to Janette
being the world’s leading expert throwing herself around. For his part, HRVY
looks a bit awkward and uncomfortable with them, especially in the dismounts.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s very energetic and fun, and should do a lot better for
him than last week’s performance, but I think it could have been more.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess thanks them for reminding us what a party feels like
and we welcome the singers (I can see Jamie, Andrea and Tommy, and maybe
Hayley?), Dave Arch and the orchestra.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess asks Shirley if he’ll do better on the leader board
this week and she says she doesn’t know but he led well and it’s not easy to
throw Janette over here then do the pot-stirrer, and, I dunno, I think Janette
could pretty much do all of those things without accompaniment, what I’d really
want to see is the roles reversed. Anton says all he could see was ‘YES YES YES’
and he calls it fluid and perfect, and he throws in a Len ‘wurtcha’ because we
all missed those. Craig says the footwork still needs work and the transitions
in and out of lifts were stilted (TRUTH), as they need to look more like they
come out of nowhere and take you by surprise, but the timing was great and the
overall feeling was hot, hot, hot.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Janette screeches up to the Clauditorium and the slow-mo
recap shows a bit where they’re out of sync with one another, le oop. In the
Clauditorium, HRVY says he’s glad he didn’t drop her. Scores: 8, ‘It’s Never
Too Early for a 10 from Shirley’, 9 for a total of 27 and the first 10 of the
series. I’m with Craig, that was an 8 all over.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Our terms and conditions guest this week is Craig David who
is standing in front of a wall with butterflies and roses painted on and reads
them as slowly as possible. Claudia says he can get back to ‘what we all know
you love doing on a Saturday’. Hee.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Ranvir and Giovanni</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last week, they topped the scores with a beautiful foxtrot.
This week? A cha cha cha in the death slot, so I suspect they won’t be repeating
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The training footage doesn’t look
hopeful and Ranvir says she doesn’t always feel comfortable in her body because
ugh the patriarchy.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing to ‘Oye Como Va’ and from the start you can
see she’s uncomfortable. (Her ugly peach and pink dress isn’t helping matters) Her
face throughout reads ‘get me out of this dance’, an expression we know from so
many grim cha cha chas of yore. She has really good rhythm and clearly knows
what all the steps involve, but never really allows herself to relax into the
routine so it looks a bit awkward and stilted throughout. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anton says he absolutely loved it and says she should have
no hangups about how she looks because she looks sensational. He praises her hip
work again and then repeats how good-looking she is, and it feels a bit creepy
uncle at this point, just say it once and move on, Anton. He then does another
patented Len clap hands and point before saying ‘you are fabulous’. God, if Anton’s
‘how to judge’ plan is just imitating one of the other judges there are so many
better choices for inspo: taking Bruno’s coke, inhaling Alesha’s wine and
nibbles, wearing one of Motsi’s amazing wigs, saying ‘core’ umpteen times (just
kidding Darcey, I would much rather they’d got you back in this week)… Craig <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>says it was a bit too ‘laid-back’ and heavy for
him, with her feet being a bit ‘pigeon-toed’ and ‘sickled’ (DOUBLE DRINK) but
he thinks she’s great. Shirley loves their chemistry but needs a straighter leg
action and she needs to work on her foot placement more.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Ranvir won’t look at the monitor and
says she can’t even look at mirrors in the training room and that makes me really
sad, can someone please douse her in some self-esteem? [<i>Honestly, I can relate. When I was having dance lessons I once caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and saw what my limbs and face were doing and I'm not sure I ever fully recovered from that. - Steve</i>] She gets a video call
from Susanna Reid who says she’s inspiring and they’re so proud of her. Scores:
5 (oof), 7, 8 (LOLWUT) for a total of 20.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Claudia points out that Bill and Oti will be dancing to ‘Rapper’s
Delight’ which is Tess’s favourite song, and Tess genuinely does seem excited
saying she’s waited 16 years for it. I don’t know if they’re being entirely
serious or not, but I think we did discover a few years ago that Tess’s music taste
had an unexpected hip-hop bent, so I fully believe them.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Max and Dianne</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last week: THAT. This week he’s been watching Fred Astaire
in prep for his American Smooth and says he’s going to be ‘channelling a bit of
Freddie’ (Freddie?! The SACRILEGE, Anton will be fuming). [<i>Also, that just make me think of the lyrics to 'Grace Kelly' by Mika. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing to ‘It Had to Be You’ and Dianne is wearing
a green dress with gold and white trim that would be absolutely perfect for a
Christmas cocktail party if ever such things exist again one day. Max is in a
black velvet jacket with dark grey shirt, trousers and tie (although the tie is
askew). The dance itself is all Dianne – she’s flinging herself around a la
Janette, but Max looks a bit awkward and hunched, and is doing a weird guppy
thing with his mouth.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says he was playing it too safe and didn’t have style
or flair, with his arms being haphazard and his hands like spatulas (he’s
getting all his cliches out tonight). Shirley says he looks like a dashing
gentleman and coped quite well with the lifts but he needs to listen to the
music more. Anton says ‘it’s difficult to ignore Craig, but it’s worth
persevering with’ (OK, he can have that one) and says Max has a wonderful skill
to partner Dianne and ‘give her time’ to do what she was doing, which is the
most dressed-up way of saying ‘you let your pro do all the work’ I’ve heard in a
while. He says Max has a great top line – or at least a good left arm and a
limp right one.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium we get a video message from Max’s partner
(I assume? We were never told) and dog, saying they miss him. Scores: 5, 7, 8
for a total of 20. Is Anton going to find any critical faculty tonight?</p><p class="MsoNormal">Also, apparently at some point Max done a swear according to Claudia's apology later in the episode, but I missed it (twice) so answers on a postcard? [<i>It was pretty hard to make out but there was some sort of celebratory f-word when they finished, I think. - Steve</i>]</p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>JJ and Amy</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their VT sees JJ doing a military in lieu of being able to
last week and says the Marines custom made him a uniform for this week, with
all the correct badges. Then his video call trumps all the boring partners and
parents and Susanna Reids with a PRINCE HARRY whose Invictus games JJ credits
with changing his life. Prince Harry’s house is very neutral coloured with some
interesting black nest style prints on the wall, and he takes the mick out of
JJ’s shorts, shoes and socks because BANTZ. Harry tells JJ he’s proud of him. Also:
seriously, when are we breaching the ‘Royal’ category on this show, we had the
Viscountess, now I want MORE. I’m not expecting one of the main ones but surely
they could stretch for an Autumn Phillips or a Victoria Hervey? [<i>I reckon they could get Beatrice or Eugenie. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, JJ and Amy are coming in HARD for the grandparent
vote tonight - if that VT wasn’t enough, he’s in his full military garb, she’s
in a Land Girl-inspired jumpsuit with victory rolls and they’re jiving to ‘Boogie-Woogie
Bugle Boy’. He’s performing quite well in terms of looking like he’s having fun
without taking it too seriously. He isn’t, however, dancing too well. There are
a couple of nice side-by-side hops but there’s also a lot of off-time kicking
and a lack of bounce. They might need those grandparent votes tonight.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Shirley says he has a great vertical line for ballroom, but
for jive his posture needs to be more forward to give him flexibility. She
praises Amy for adjusting the choreography for his disabilities. Anton praises him
for looking smart and he says it’s nerve-wracking to dance out of hold, but JJ
didn’t seem too nervous and ‘Lance Corporal, I salute you.’ (Can you IMAGINE
the nans at that moment?). Craig gets in his ‘lack of kicks and flicks,
retraction, flat-footed, laboured’ and he is absolutely on a bet with someone to
throw in every one of his catchphrases, isn’t he? And we still have a
Charleston to come, hold me. He gets a little boo and snaps back ‘ten people
booing doesn’t scare me, darling’. Hee.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, JJ says he got special permission to
have the uniform on and it was specially tailored, and he was doing it for all
the service personnel. Scores: 4, 6, 7 (Like Len 90% of the time, Anton appears
to have no paddle lower than 7) for a total of 17. Now we know why they didn’t
do this last week can you imagine the headlines about all the DISRESPECT of 4-ing
a war porn on Remembrance Sunday?<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Maisie and Gorka</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their VT features a guide to the key steps in cha cha
interspersed with Maisie video-calling fellow EE/Strictly alums Davood Ghadami,
Uncle Jake Wood and Emma Barton (Who has a STAGE DOOR sign on her mantelpiece,
Caroline Quentin better up her game).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing to ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ and begin as
two dolls doing stilted movements before Gorka doll chucks away Maisie doll’s
phone (to be fair, Gorka, there are a helluva lot of EE alumni to call, she’s
probably not even had time to get onto Phil Daniels yet). They then go into the
cha cha proper and it’s a lot better than Ranvir’s but Maisie is doing really weird
things with her face, alternating between duckface and grimace, and it’s really
off-putting. Like HRVY’s salsa, overall it’s competent, but not setting the
world on fire. They then go back into their doll lives at the end and,
honestly, Maisie seemed to be enjoying those bits more than the main routine,
let’s hope we’re not giving the producers the idea to add ‘ROBOT’ to Couple’s
Choice next year (although could CC get any worse at this point probably not). [<i>Yeah, this one felt a little bit 'death by theming', I just don't understand why there's any need to chuck all THAT at it when it's not even a theme week. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anton says it gave him glee because ‘the cha cha cha is VILE,
I can’t stand it’. So, yeah, the cha cha has been getting quite the reputation
on this show as the suckiest dance (which begs the question why it’s the only
dance nearly everyone does these days), and yeah, Anton vs Latin is a running gag,
but that’s the kind of comment that might seem cute in a guest stint, but if he
were to ever get a permanent judging gig (WHICH: NO THANKS), he’d need to knock
that on the head very quickly because it’s just so grating. Imagine if one of
the other judges was all ‘yeah but Foxtrot is BORIN’ or 'Viennesse Waltz is shit, it only exists in case we get to see someone vom, and they never bloody do'. He says she coped well but
she needs to turn her feet out more and relax as she seemed quite ‘tight’.
Craig says she did look like she had a rod planted through her back and that
the ‘robot’ stuff needed more isolation. I can’t believe we’re critiquing the
specificity of the Robot. However, he loved the overall feel. Shirley says she
can see Maisie’s been taking on the critiques, but when she hits something
sharp with her feet, the body needs to continue and demonstrates what she
means, which seems like helpful advice.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, we hear that Gorka’s been lifting up
her feet and re-placing them in training and Maisie says she felt the pressure
to do well because of how much she talks about liking Latin. Gorka says she did
well in ‘four days’. Four? So much for the giving your whole life over to this
show narratives. Scores: 7, 8, 9 for a total of 24. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We get a mid-way leaderboard featuring HRVY at the top and
JJ at the bottom, and all the people who still mess about with VWLS in the middle.</p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Bill and Oti</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This week’s Super Special Couple’s Choice VT is all about
Bill’s career. He talks about loving music but not enough to make it a career
in its own right, which is why he likes to combine it with comedy. We don’t see
any of his family or friends, and I respect him for managing to keep his private
life private, I imagine the producers will be less excited about that, though.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their Couple’s Choice to ‘Rapper’s Delight’ with a smattering
of ‘Good Times’ feels a bit more ‘street commercial’ than the others we’ve seen
this series. The story is that they’re gangstas or business people or something
in 80s New York, and they re-do a lot of the moves we saw Chucky Venn and Karen
do in the first year of Couple’s Choice, like the sitting down bits and hat
swap bits, so it doesn’t feel as exciting as seeing that routine did when it
was something new and fresh. However, to be fair on Oti/the guest choreographers,
this routine does have a lot of what the judges would call ‘content’
throughout. It’s fast and there are a ton of different moves in it. When they’re
in sync it looks great, but there are also several moments where Bill doesn’t
execute the moves as cleanly as Oti which stands out more as a lot of it is
side-by-side. It’s easily the most entertaining, well-danced and genre-identifiable
CC this series, which is not a difficult feat, and I enjoyed it. But does it
justify keeping Couple’s Choice this year when they are already all dancing
fewer genres, and especially bringing it in early in the series rather than as
a ‘treat’ for getting quite far? Nope. Does it deserve anything other than the
standard CC 8s? Probably not. Now give me some filthy dirty rumbas already, series
18. [<i>PREACH. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">For those keeping track of the balance of dances thus far, by
the end of tonight we’ll have had: Cha Cha Cha x6; Paso Doble x5; American
Smooth x5 (would have been six if Nicola danced this week); Couple’s Choice x4;
Jive x4; Foxtrot x3; Tango x3; Quickstep x3; Samba x3; Salsa x2; Waltz x2; Viennese
Waltz x2; Charleston x2; Argentine Tango/Rumba x0. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess praises Bill for not even being out of breath. Craig calls
him the ‘king of pop and lock’ and points out Bill is 9 days younger than him.
He says he was amazed with the detail and Bill hit every single line. Shirley
says details come with hours of work and she bets their training schedule is rigorous.
She says all men at home need to get up and move like Bill. Anton says he
thought Bill doing hip-hop could be a mid-life crisis (says the MLC’s walking
embodiment) but he liked that Bill fully committed and didn’t just treat it as
a comedy routine.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Oti calls him ‘Bill Bailey’ some more
and I do miss Monkseal because here’s where he’d be polling us all to determine
whether her doing this is still endearing or is becoming grating. Scores: 8, 10
(for being a ‘true inspiration’), 9 for a lolleriffic 28. Oti collapses on the
floor. Other than illness or injury, is there anything stopping
them winning this series now?<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Caroline and Johannes</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Caroline is the recipient of the classic ‘scores the same
every week’ Strictly journey story, having scored 21 each week so far – I’m kind
of surprised no-one else has that honour, given a three-judge panel making it
more likely. Their VT is one of those ‘we name each day of the week’ ones and
much as I love this couple, that’s not a VT storyline I am in any way here for,
go back to another theatre and EMOTE next week plsthnx.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re waltzing to that Strictly standard ‘With You I’m Born
Again’ and Caroline gets to do a version of the ho pose from the opening credits,
only it’s dulled a bit by not being able to fan herself in a SRS waltz. The
routine is mostly well-danced, and she performs well, but the height problem is
a real issue here, with them each stretching to meet the other, resulting in a
couple of awkward moments and some gapping.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Shirley praises her developpés and ankle shape and tells her
to keep working on that footwork. She says there was a lovely natural turn but
she also missed a heel turn, and she says to be ‘in with a chance’ (of what,
she doesn’t specify), Caroline needs to keep working on her footwork. Anton
says ‘if this was an excuse me dance’ he’d be up and asking her to ditch
Johannes for him. Caroline goes along with it (and gives Johannes quite the
forceful shove) even though we all know she will have had a ‘definitely no
Anton’ demand on signing up. He says she had a great whisk with a beautiful
rise, but he would like her to cover more ground and bend her knees more,
though he could see the height difference was an issue. Craig says there was a
bit too much gapping, but it was beautiful and elegant and she tells a story
well.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Caroline says every synapse in her
brain has been firing and it’s a difficult dance. She says she was thrilled
because she came here to learn that and although she doesn’t feel she’s learned
it completely, she’s on her way. Claudia reminds her she’s got 21 the last
three weeks. Scores: 7, 7 (at which Caroline goes ‘Oh no 21 again’!) but Anton
7ed JJ so obviously he’s going to give this 8 for a total of 22.<o:p></o:p></p>
<h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Jamie and Karen</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last week they decided to lean into their comedy leanings,
which suited them well and gave them their best score of the series. This week
they have a samba and Karen says it’s all about mirroring so we have a VT gag
where they learn to mirror and Jamie ends up becoming more and more like Karen,
up til dressing the same as her in a crop top and leggings and wearing a Karen mask.
AND they’re in identical traditional mens’ outfits this week. See, these are
the gender-bending antics I was after from these two. Put Jamie in a ballgown
next week please.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their samba is to ‘Bamboleo’ and, again, it’s a lot of fun. Karen
gives good samba anyway, yet this is the opposite vibe to the SEX FIEND routine
she did with Chucky Venn. She and Jamie are dressed like members of a Mariachi band,
and it’s a striking image, but the costumes do mask some of the movement and I
don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing in this case. Of all the party Latin
tonight this one seems like the most fun and it’s actually technically a lot
better than I thought Jamie was capable of. They’re both kind of shocked by the
end, and someone lets off some streamers which completely swamp Karen.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess exclaims ‘watching you dance makes me so happy’ and
Jamie gasps ‘so much shaking’. Anton calls it fabulous and he says his own history
with samba has usually been disastrous so he appreciates a good one. He says
there was a lot of bounce and they have a great partnership which comes through
in the mirroring. Tess says ‘Craig, please tell me it made you happy’ and he
says it did indeed make him happy, at which they turn and give him some bum
wiggles, and he really loved it though he could have done without the batucadas
at the end. Shirley says it’s one of the better sambas she’s seen on Strictly
(I call shade) and it was full of enthusiasm, and she saw Karen controlling him
at one point to stop him going off on one, but they have a great partnership
over all.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium they start playing with one of the glitterballs.
Jamie says they’ve been playing hide and seek with the bounce all week and Karen
says he didn’t even have it 25 mins before they went on and Jamie replies ‘it
was hiding on the dance-floor all along, who knew!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love him. Scores: 8, 8, and (‘I mean it’s a
samba’) 9 for a total of 25. Karen is baffled by that, but I’m baffled by most
of the scoring tonight and it’s probably no weirder than anything else that’s happened.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><u>Clara and Aljaz</u></b></h4><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Interesting pimp slot placing for a couple who’ve been a bit
under the radar so far. Shirley says there are ‘no rules’ for the Charleston,
and can we please find some rulebooks somewhere before everything descends into
Couple’s Choice? Anyway, Clara is very excited about having a sparkly dress
because thooopafan. I don’t want to moan too much about the VTs this series
because a: they’re better than some of the comedy ones of yore and b: lockdown,
but… they are a bit boring, aren’t they?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing to ‘Baby Face’ and Clara’s very Josephine
Baker in her look, with Aljaž playing, well, dapper-but-goofy hunk, his usual
role. It’s set in a perfume store, and she’s a customer sexually harassing him.
Like Jamie (and unlike most of the others), Clara seems to actually be enjoying
the routine, and it really aids the dancing, because she seems to relax into it
well. It’s very light and in-sync and whilst it’s not as technically complex as
some of the best Charlestons we’ve seen over the years, it’s still very good,
and if it’s been storyboarded to be her breakthrough dance, then: job done.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess asks Craig if he saw enough swivel and he says ‘I don’t
want to see it again… until the final’ so that’s him getting his 9 out, then,
and Aljaž and Clara know this. It’s interesting how they react: he punches out
with a huge gaping mouth and she shrinks and blushes a little. God tonight’s a
bit depressing from a gender politics POV isn’t it? I do miss Motsi here as
well, as I think she’d have been able to boost Ranvir and Clara’s self-esteem a
bit more. Shirley is almost speechless and she says she hasn’t been Clara’s
highest scorer this series, but tonight she saw a massive transformation and it
was absolutely brilliant. Anton says when you rehearse a routine all week, you want
it to go like that and he’s had a wonderful night and she’s topped it all off.
Not about you, hun.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Clara can’t really breathe or speak and
Aljaž says he loves dancing with her and she really takes the critiques and
works hard. Clara says HIIT, 5K, nothing compares to the Charleston and Claudia
pushes her to say she’d like more than a 6 this week from Shirley. Scores: 9,
10, 10 (‘well, it was only perfect’) for a total of 29. Claudia says she wishes
she could hug them and Clara bursts into messy tears.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So let’s have a look at the Topsy Turvy Leaderboard:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">1. Clara and Aljaz - 29<br />2=. HRVY and Janette - 27<br /></p><div style="text-align: left;">2=. Bill and Oti - 27</div><div style="text-align: left;">4=. Jamie and Karen - 25</div><div style="text-align: left;">4=. Maisie and Gorka 25</div><div style="text-align: left;">6. Caroline and Johannes - 22</div><div style="text-align: left;">7=. Ranvir and Giovanni - 20</div><div style="text-align: left;">7=. Max and Dianne - 20</div><div style="text-align: left;">9. JJ and Amy - 17</div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So that’s… almost a reversal of last week. Say what you like
about this series but they’re keeping it interesting in terms of having no
clear 'good' and 'bad' sets of contestants now that Jacqui and Jason have left. And
whilst I think some of the scoring was questionable tonight, I think the
overall ranking of the couples is probably about right, and it’s very hard to
call who might be going. On the surface, it looks like JJ vs Max, with JJ
leaving, but I don’t know how high Ranvir, Caroline or Maisie’s support is
going to be, and if JJ’s nostalgia-fest cornered the grandparent vote, I think
we might be in for an upset. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We then video call with Motsi, in a star-filled dress. I
miss you Motsi! Hope everything’s OK with your dance studio after the break-in!
She says everyone was fantastic and she’s delighted that Clara came through
because she’s seen that she had power in her all along. She then opens the vote
as everyone dances along, Aljaž looking at himself in the monitor the whole
time as if he’s on ITT and expecting a caption to come along.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Join me tomorrow to see who goes home and whether ‘dance
debrief’ descends into The Anton Show or not.<o:p></o:p></p>Radhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17031764260176803659noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-3197232036462483222020-11-14T18:55:00.000+00:002020-11-14T18:55:29.124+00:00This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...<h4 style="text-align: left;"> <u>Monday</u></h4><div>- Jason was ready to be in the bottom two, and figured he'd get another chance to do a Star War so it was all good.</div><div>- Jason's daughter was telling him how proud she was when they were walking to school today. D'aww.</div><div>- The salsa was Luba's favourite of their dances.</div><div>- A lot of people have watched Max & Dianne's <i>Simpsons</i> dance. Presumably to check they weren't having some sort of fever dream when they saw it on Saturday night.</div><div>- Al Jean from <i>The Simpsons</i> retweeted it... but the show neglected to point out he was actually retweeting someone commenting on how disturbing it was.<span><a name='more'></a></span></div><div>- Max thought he got a lot of the routine wrong but Dianne assures him (and us) that he didn't.</div><div>- Zoe's son Woody has filmed himself doing the Children In Need dance.</div><div>- Ranvir would rather re-do the foxtrot than do the cha cha.</div><div>- Ranvir still feels like her whole Saturday night experience happened to someone else this weekend.</div><div>- Giovanni thinks Ranvir works better under pressure because she always seems to improve a lot faster as the weekend gets nearer.</div><div>- Zoe envisages P**** M***** on the show in pink lycra dancing with either Oti or Anton. Just in case you needed more disturbing mental imagery to accompany the Simpsons dance.</div><div><h4><u>Tuesday</u></h4></div><div>- Nadiya misses having a partner *sadface*.</div><div>- Nadiya won't look at the camera whilst pretending to like Simpsonsdance.</div><div>- Nadiya thinks Bill's performance is all in his eyes.</div><div>- Nadiya thinks there was a lot more content in HRVY's cha cha than the judges gave it credit for.</div><div>- She also thinks he deserves credit for not looking awkward while dressed as a gnome and we're inclined to agree.</div><div>- Nadiya thinks Katya has been "thinking out of her box" this series. We're too mature to make a joke about that.</div><div>- Nadiya calls Craig 'this Craig'.</div><div>- Nicola and Katya have started colour co-ordinating their outfits.</div><div>- Nicola found the jive tough on her legs.</div><div>- In rehearsals Nicola's prop engine needed a lot of adjustments to work.</div><div>- Nicola kept calling Katya 'Sandy' on Saturday.</div><div>- Zoe thinks Nicola is the perfect person to be in the dance-off (because she's a fighter, not (just) because Zoe's being shady)</div><div>- Nicola and Katya have an American Smooth to 'Stand By Me' this weekend.</div><div>- Katya is looking forward to having time to work on the lines and extensions after so many fast dances.</div><div>- Nadiya has been working on her footwork for 26 years and still thinks she needs improvement.</div><div>- It's important for women to use the heels in ballroom rather than the toe because they're usually going backwards.</div><div>- Caroline and Johannes and Jacqui and Anton are all quite bad at the Children in Need dance.</div><div>- Johannes has sequinned houndstooth trousers.</div><div>- Johannes told Caroline he loved her again on Saturday. The <i>Strictly </i>curse strikes again!</div><div>- Caroline thought she was bringing as much as she could on Saturday.</div><div>- Caroline's hoping she has secret stores of 'ta ta ba ba'.</div><div>- Jason Manford would 'pick' Johannes if he did Strictly (not sure that's how pairings work).</div><div>- Caroline saw Jason Manford in theatre before lockdown and thought he was great.</div><div>- They are dancing a waltz to 'With You I'm Born Again' this week.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Wednesday</u></h4><div>- Clara is very grateful to Health & Safety for doing an excellent job on Saturday.</div><div>- Aljaž thinks 'Lady Marmalade' was made for tango. He may not be correct.</div><div>- Clara wants to be known as 'Lady Clarmalade' now.</div><div>- Clara thinks she really needs to work on her "waiting to hear if I'm safe" face.</div><div>- Clara had an Epsom salts bath last night.</div><div>- They are performing a Charleston to 'Baby Face' this week.</div><div>- Dianne is still wearing yellow to training, she's obviously developed a taste for it.</div><div>- JJ is <i>still </i>training in shorts! Does he know it's November?!</div><div>- HRVY has big feet and if he doesn't use them properly, they'll look bigger.</div><div>- Last week was one of Jamie's top 5 life experiences.</div><div>- Jamie wanted to go topless last week but no-one would let him.</div><div>- Jamie's heart rate went up to 196 in rehearsal.</div><div>- Jamie dropped Karen at the end of their dance because he was basking in the applause.</div><div>- Jamie thinks the samba steps are the volta, the mamacita and the pineapple.</div><div>- Jamie wants to look sexy in the samba, but Karen 'danced with Chucky Venn' Hauer is just rolling her eyes at that idea.</div><div>- Ian thinks Caroline and Johannes' height difference might make their waltz more challenging.</div><div>- Ian has no idea what Bill and Oti's Couple's Choice is meant to be.</div><div>- Ian thinks Clara is this week's most improved.</div><div>- Natalie met some of the <a href="https://www.soldiersartsacademy.com/" target="_blank">Soldiers' Arts Academy</a> and it looks like a great cause, and she was a real natural at interviewing and presenting (and she's just gone back to Australia to be with family - we will miss you Natalie!).</div><div><h4><u>Thursday</u></h4></div><div><div>- Katya has contracted Covid-19 and she and Nicola have had to withdraw. Rylan has also had to self-isolate as a contact of someone with the virus and will be off-duty for two weeks. Get well soon Katya!</div></div><div>- Gethin thinks Giovanni was the best Bond on Saturday.</div><div>- Maisie is having pizza every night at the moment.</div><div>- Gorka has a punk attitude, according to a badge/sticker he was wearing.</div><div>- Maisie is Gorka's most competitive partner so far. </div><div>- Maisie and Gorka are going to be Barbie and Ken this weekend and will be dancing to 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'.</div><div>- Gorka's daughter is dancing already.</div><div>- Maisie can hear Nicola and Katya from her dressing room. Well, she used to be able to, anyway.</div><div>- It only takes Pudsey Bear dancing to make Gethin lose his composure.</div><div>- Zoe and Gethin both claim they want to hug Pudsey but neither has gone to the trouble of forming a social bubble with him, poor Pudsey.</div><div>- Dianne will be in emerald green for her American smooth, and it will have an Art Deco feel to it.</div><div>- Karen will be in a suit for hers and Jamie's samba.</div><div>- HRVY's friends really enjoyed seeing him dressed as a gnome.</div><div>- People kept coming up to Janette on Saturday and telling her the gnome look really suited her.</div><div>- Janette is not afraid of bad comments because she's had plenty.</div><div>- HRVY reckons he's "kind of winging it".</div><div>- HRVY has 'only' been dancing three years.</div><div>- HRVY and Janette are dedicating their salsa to Nicola and Katya.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Friday</u></h4><div>- Gethin's jive is a little rusty since series five.</div><div>- Anton will be standing in for Motsi for the next two weeks, Lord help us.</div><div>- Motsi is away because her dance studio in Germany got broken into and she had to fly back (and is now in quarantine) - sending her our best wishes.</div><div>- Anton thinks he will be an "enthusiastic" and "kind" judge, which is something he hasn't managed to do for any of his partners for about eight years now but we'll see.</div><div>- Anton was really excited to see what Nicola and Katya would produce "over the next few weeks". Guess he didn't think they were making the final then.</div><div>- Jacqui is pleased that at least she could free Anton up to be a judge by getting kicked out.</div><div>- Gethin's American accent needs some work.</div><div>- It meant a lot to JJ to get a standing ovation from Shirley, but it was Amy's reaction that meant the most to him.</div><div>- JJ 'didn't expect much' from this show, the shade of it.</div><div>- Monday was "dark" for JJ and Amy's jive, apparently.</div><div>- Amy is losing her voice.</div><div>- On Monday JJ thought that the toe-hell swivel was "impossible" but now he can do it. Hooray!</div><div>- JJ has added some marine steps into the jive this weekend.</div><div>- JJ's jive will be 1940s themed and Amy wanted him in a uniform (don't we all), but JJ didn't want to wear a uniform that he hadn't earned, so he's got special permission to wear a Marines uniform.</div><div>- Amy has gone full on Stacey from <i>Gavin and Stacey</i> ('I can't wait I can't').</div><div>- Gethin thought Bill's guitar solo on Saturday was fake - it wasn't.</div><div>- Bill and Oti work from 9am til 10pm.</div><div>- Seeing Bill grow as a dancer is the reward that Oti wants (although she'd probably like to win again).</div><div>- Oti cannot rap to 'Rapper's Delight' at all.</div><div>- Official confirmation: Bill and Oti's Couple's Choice is street/commercial.</div><div>- And it'll be a mashup of 'Rapper's Delight' and 'Good Times'.</div><div>- Although apparently this year they've lifted the need to specify a genre and allowed more of a fusion. REALLY, you don't say, I'd never have noticed.</div><div>- Bill keeps getting caught up in memories of dancing in a nightclub in the West Country when he was 17 and forgetting his footwork.</div><div>- Bill thinks their dance will be 'a pure dance joy of funkiliciousness'.</div><div>- This week's pro dance is a street/disco routine set in a funky supermarket where Nancy and Neil fall in love.</div><div>- This week's Friday panel is Dan Walker, AJ Odudu and Pudsey Bear.</div><div>- Dan got his sister-in-law to brief him before coming on the show.</div><div>- Dan thinks Craig is suffering from the "Craigovirus" and that's making him nicer than usual.</div><div>- Pudsey communicates via emojis on cue cards.</div><div>- AJ loves everyone.</div><div>- Dan thinks Maisie is one of the greatest contestants in <i>Strictly </i>history but she might be too good too early and have the same SHOCK! BOOT outcome as Aston.</div><div>- Dan doesn't think Clara and Aljaž will reach the final.</div><div>- Dan thinks HRVY doesn't know how good he is.</div><div>- Dan thinks JJ could make the final.</div><div>- Pudsey thinks JJ and Amy will get 30 this week.</div><div>- AJ and Dan have very different opinions on Jamie doing well this week. (AJ is for, Dan is against)</div><div>- Dan saw Ranvir dance at an awards do many years ago and knew she had the skills. SECRET RINGER! He also thinks she's guaranteed to be in the final.</div><div>- AJ thinks Max has a big mountain to climb this week and he needs to enjoy it more.</div><div>- Gethin thinks they should get rid of the bit where the Friday panel says who they think is going home.</div><div>- Dan thinks Jamie is going home, AJ thinks Max, and Pudsey thinks Craig.</div><div><br /></div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-1921369267186763082020-11-08T23:21:00.007+00:002020-11-09T21:49:58.615+00:00For whom the Bell tolls<p><b>Week 3: Top 11 Results (Movie Week) - </b><b>8 November 2020</b></p><p>Last night! The boundary between a musical and a movie remained as blurry as ever! Ranvir topped the chart with a beautiful foxtrot! Jamie made Tess completely lose her mind! Maisie incurred the wrath of a nation's pre-teens by not being any Elsa anyone recognises! And Max and Dianne sorely tested the resolve of all those people who thought this show was going to be the antidote to the general bin fire that is 2020!</p><p>Tonight! Someone is going home! And it's almost certain to be Jason!</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p>We begin with our annual remembrance dance. This time we start on location - Amy is a lighthouse keeper waiting for her man to come back from war. I don't actually recognise the bespectacled man so I assume he is either an actual member of the military or her real-life partner Ben Jones? In all the photos I can see of him he has facial hair but he could have had a shave and borrowed Kevin's glasses? I guess he could be one of the spare spare pros they have brought in this year but if so, it seems a bit weird to make him so prominent. [<i>It's actually Kai Widdrington from Dancing With The Stars Ireland - finally watching all these international versions of the franchise pays off! - Steve</i>] Anyway, Amy also wears a dress with no back so her vest is showing and then he lifts her up and we see her knickers. Patriotism! They're joined by Neil and Nancy and Graziano and Nadiya by the white cliffs of Dover as the song plays and we get a little Vera Lynn tribute with lots of footage of her, before we return to the ballroom and Hayley takes over singing duty to 'We'll Meet Again' with a lot of luvverly tea dancing from the full troupe. We then get a tribute card to Dame Vera and it's on with the show.</p><p>Daly dresswatch: black and sequinned, it's nice but the thigh slit is maybe a little CALL OFCOM for Remembrance Sunday. What Winkleman's Wearing: skinny black trousers and a black shirt with white trim, which suits her a lot. The judges enter and Shirley's wearing a dress that seems to be made from the exact same fabric as Tess's. She also has an asymmetric top line which is usually Tess's thing, so perhaps she's pinching her wardrobe. Motsi's in a grey sequinned dress and Craig is in an ugly black and navy checked jacket.</p><p>Recap of last night in which Bruno makes his contractually obligated remarks about how he has definitely watched these dances: Nicola and Katya can service his motor any time oooer missus; the force is strong with Jason, but don't forget the shaping; there was nothing <i>Frozen</i> about Maisie's dance (truth); and the following storylines are promoted: HRVY, Clara, Caroline and Jason had a bad night, Jamie had his obligatory Charleston breakthrough; JJ's on a JURNEY and Bill and Ranvir are the tops, they're terrific.</p><p>And so we come to our first set of results, and whilst I'm expecting Jason to be in the dance-off, I'm intrigued to see who'll be there with him. It won't be: Jamie and Karen (and Tess loses it laughing AGAIN); Ranvir and Giovanni (Thangyew still very much in effect and uncute); Max and Dianne (to what seems like the most subdued audience response of all but I'm probably just reading what I want to into it) and Bill and Oti. The first couple in the dance-off? Nicola and Katya (who had spent the whole time looking like she was expecting it).</p><p>Nicola says it is what it is and she'll just give 150% (STOP) and do her best. Craig says she should go out there knowing she's going to win, because she can. Especially if she's against Jason. Nicola says she'll give everything she's got.</p><p>We join Claudia who reads out viewer suggestions for what to call her couple chats: the staircase shuffle and the conversational conga. At some point we'll come up with a good filthy pun ourselves but right now I'm more worried about how the mirror balls swinging behind Claudia look like they're about to bonk her in the bonce.</p><p>In the rapid runthrough (probably not the best name given the diarrhoea connotations, granted), Jamie says he's relieved because he expected to be in the dance-off and apparently his girlfriend thinks he's a wimp for always complaining about being in pain, then he and Claudia joke about him taking the Hercules outfit home for sexytimes. Ranvir has the cha cha next week and I'm already a bit worried for her. Bill is now on TikTok and has couple's choice next week... to 'Rapper's Delight'. I'm scared. [<i>I'm weirdly excited. - Steve</i>] Max has the American Smooth next week which I think might suit him, but I doubt it'll be enough to erase the scarring in my brain from him humping Dianne's shoe.</p><p>The guest musical stint is a luvverly bit of classical for Remembrance Sunday. The Kanneh-Masons (of whom there are a LOT, what a family dynasty. Also one of them looks exactly like Pearl Mackie aka Bill Potts from Doctor Who who is on my dream casting list. A list comprised 80% of DW alumni, natch.) play 'Ave Maria' while Nadiya and Graziano do some lovely waltzing in front. I have to say that even though it's because of THE SITUATION, I do quite like that the spare pros are doing all the dances with the guest performers this year, as it does help them feel a bit less redundant. [<i>Agreed, I never really understood why this wasn't the pattern all along. - Steve</i>]</p><p>Dance debrief focuses on Jamie being funny; Maisie going 'clunk' with her feet instead of 'toe ball heel', and Shirley explaining that's what she means by 'rolling' through the feet; Ranvir having a beautiful back and then we get footage of the vote lines being open and Craig glumly clapping an 'open' clapperboard whilst Oti and Bill danced in the Clauditorium. Not one of these judges is prepared to justify their 8s for Simpsondance so a pox on all their houses. Also Bruno is also 'present' on screen but the only thing he says is that JJ danced with effortless ease, so I'm guessing that was the only routine they showed him this week. Gotta love him earning his paycheque... I am wondering if he's still going to take his obligatory week off this year, and whether it'll even be mentioned if he does.</p><p>Our final set of safety results see the following through: Clara and Aljaž; JJ and Amy; Maisie and Gorka and HRVY and Janette, leaving Caroline and Johannes and Jason and Luba as our two before the result. Caroline is giving the whole room the death stare (as was Pissy Gorka before he was called safe) but of course it's Jason and Luba. If anything, I'm surprised he wasn't here last week. He's quite resolute but Luba looks about ready to burst into tears. Two duff SPORTSMEN in two years, one of which has no real name recognition, has to be a hard draw.</p><p>In the Clauditorium, Caroline seems a bit thrown by their brush with death and we learn that Johannes makes up words to all the songs they dance to which Caroline is not happy about given 'people go to all the trouble to write lovely lyrics', what a warrior for the arts. I bet poor Fatima's had her phone ringing off the hook with Auntie Caroline trying to take up her cause (cultural references that will make no sense this time next year). JJ says he's got a long way to go before matching 'this lot', waving at Maisie and Caroline, one of whom he beat and the other of whom he drew with. Maisie has the cha cha cha next week. It's a 12 week series, do we really need so many cha chas? (I'm also feeling a bit that way towards pasos this year unless they up their game. And obviously towards Couple's Choice. Just give me a filthy dirty rumba, it's all I want). HRVY and Janette are happy to have the cha cha cha out of the way and apparently his primary school sent him a book of support this week so the Zoom 'appearance' at school VT is surely on its way. Clara is happy that she got to be 'Lady Marmalade' this week.</p><p>We get another plug for all the spin-offs and socials: It Takes Two, the podcast with Joe (and no longer Kim?); whatever the heck that thing is with Blu Hydrangea; Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, Google+, MySpace, Friends Reunited, Six Degrees, Chat Roulette and 8Chan.</p><p>Nicola and Katya are the first in the dance off, and it's still a bit of a sloppy mess in places with some moments of promise, but I can't see anything other than them winning 3-0. Jason's routine feels a bit better this time around in the sense he seems a little bit more relaxed in hold, but it's still quite a hulking mess overall.</p><p>Craig says both improved substantially, but he's saving Nicola and Katya. Motsi saves them too because they were stronger in performance, technique and intention and Shirley agrees with both of them. Nicola gives Jason a sympathetic pat as they go off, someone get a sanitising wipe out now!</p><p>Jason thanks Luba and thanks the show and we see his 'best bits' which feature way more of their interviews and VTs than their actual dances. Luba is crying like mad and looking not unlike Chloe Brennan from Neighbours. Jason thanks everyone again and the cast give them a standing ovation. Luba says he brings joy and that he's a friend for life, and she thanks everyone for making sacrifices to allow the show to actually happen. They dance out to 'If I Could Turn Back Time' but no-one turns the singers' mics on for the first two lines so they look very confused for a bit. It's so weird them not being allowed to have the whole group join them on the dancefloor for these bits, it must feel so exposing.</p><p>The post-show debrief sees Luba saying she'll miss him making her laugh, Ranvir's makeup not looking good under harsh studio lighting, Nicola saying she wants to make Katya smile, Harvey looking checked out and Maisie and Gorka looking weirdly like ghosts. And so we move on to the Top 10 next week! Can you believe we're already a third of the way through the series? And despite Kylie having a new album out that would be perfectly fitting for this show, I have to sit through a guest performance by The Vamps. Join me then to see if the cha cha cha knocks more front-runners down the leaderboard, if Nicola and Katya get to do a romantic dance, and if Bruno gives the impression of having watched more than a quick snatch of one routine!</p>Radhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17031764260176803659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-80259607555431605902020-11-08T19:52:00.009+00:002020-11-10T16:28:55.156+00:00The Good, The Bad and The Simpsons<p><b>Week 3: Top 11 Perform (Movie Week) - 7 November 2020</b></p><p><a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/11/fitting-bill.html" target="_blank">Last</a> <a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/11/hit-road-jacq.html" target="_blank">week</a>! Bill snuck in a movie themed routine a week
early! HRVY and Maisie carried on being dirty ringahs! A new villain was born,
Tropical Lime! And our first results show saw Jacqui and Anton get to be the ignominious
first boots, causing a bunch of people on Twitter to LOSE THEIR DAMN MINDS and
suggest Anton should be a judge! Tonight! The theme weeks are back, baby! Yes,
it’s MOVIECALS week, part 1!</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p>We open with a little skit in which all the pairs go to a
drive in movie theatre to watch… a recap of last week. Times really are truly
dire in the film industry. Then the show begins properly with a James Bond-themed
pro dance. Originally I imagine this was timed to coincide with <i>No Time to
Die</i>, then the show must have been rueing its luck when it was delayed, only
for Sean Connery to time his death perfectly so the routine could effectively
serve as a tribute to him (the opposite of no time to die amirite. Too soon?). Now, I’m no Bond afficionado, having only watched a
handful of them, of which <i>Skyfall </i>is the only one I can recall any important details
of, so I’m afraid the nods of who was being which Bond are mostly lost on me. Aljaž
plays a moody suave Bond, Giovanni plays a moody suave Bond in white and Gorka
plays Daniel Craig in speedos, which is probably the only Bond moment that
matters to most of our readers. [<i>And at least one of our writers. - Steve</i>] The rest of the pros play an assortment of Bond
girls, villains and extras, but most excitingly of all, Johannes plays GRACE
JONES as Batman [<i>I think he was being May Day :) - Steve</i>], descending from the ceiling in a MOMENT . Shut it all down, I
am dead, he wins. Also Luba drew the short straw and was painted in gold,
though Karen’s brown PVC boiler suit and Susan Foreman wig weren’t much better.
As for the dancing, it’s mostly looking moody and flying. And then it ends with
Bond looking in a mirror and seeing Oti reflected back, what a casting spoiler, give the anti-woke brigade palpitations on the same day their hero loses the US election, you love to see it.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess and Claud enter. Daly Dresswatch: Poppy red, very
patriotic. What Winkleman’s Wearing: Black sequins. The outfits are fine but
their fake tans look like they came straight out of a tin of Ronseal. They tell
us that because of the obvious reasons, there’s no traditional studio audience
and, instead, the crew are stepping into that role. I’m kind of intrigued as to
how that will work alongside them doing their actual jobs (and if that meant the fake tan people were too busy so Tess and Claud were literally painting it on themselves from the tin). Hopefully we’ll
learn more on <i>It Takes Two </i>about how they managed it, but also, bless them for that, it can’t have been
an easy week behind the scenes. [<i>I'm assuming it was people like the make-up and hair teams, whose job is largely done by the time the show starts? This year, at least. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The judges enter: Shirley as a grown-up Wendy Darling, Motsi
as a skinned zebra from <i>Madagascar,</i> and Craig as an usher or something, look
they at least put him in pastel blue instead of black, it’s a start.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The couples enter: Caroline and Johannes, Max and Dianne, JJ
and Amy, Maisie and Gorka, Jason and Luba, Ranvir and Giovanni, Jamie and Karen,
HRVY and Janette, Nicola and Katya and Bill and Oti. We’ll come to the outfits
as we go to each couple in turn, but some of these people have been done dirrrrrty.
The couples do a decent job of jigging along to the theme tune, except Max, who
only moves once Dianne has punched him in the (padded) stomach.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Nicola and Katya as a couple of T-birds</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Last week they did Couple’s Choice which was an imperceptible
mess of Contempowaft and Street Commercial and got the obligatory CC 8s and if
you thought we were salty about that last week, the presence of two damn Couple’s
Choices on tonight’s roster suggest we’re going to be deploying an extra big box of
Maldon.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">On to their routine, a jive to ‘Greased Lightning’ and they’ve
both been put in bacofoil boiler suits with quiffed hair. Nicola’s hair
actually looks great, Katya’s less so. It begins with Nicola descending on a
sparkly engine and then it takes a while to get going, not helped by even more
faffing about with a prop car. It’s not a great dance, although not as bad as
the car crash training footage on ITT suggested it was going to be. In places,
Nicola is struggling to keep up and whilst there’s a good (albeit prolonged) bit
of tricky armography in the middle, the footwork isn’t as light as in the
quickstep and there’s a very awkward bit at the end with Katya going through Nicola’s
legs that brings the whole thing almost to a standstill. Nevertheless, Nicola’s
giving it plenty in the performance stakes and it’s not an unmitigated disaster,
it’s just very average indeed. What I really want to see next from these two is
something slow – a rumba or waltz, ideally, because three jumpy up and down
dances in a row is getting to feel a bit samey, and I really like Nicola so
some versatility will give her a bit more of a story. [<i>Yeah, this just felt very underpowered in every sense - the dancing, the costuming, the choreography, nothing about it was especially memorable. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We welcome the singers, who are not namechecked, but I can make
out Andrea, Jamie and Tommy amongst the perspex; Dave Arch and the wunnerful
orchestra.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">With the judges, Shirley praises the partnership and says
there were difficult moves but they executed it well. Motsi says she enjoyed it
though it got a bit tight in the middle and you could see the nerves. Craig
says her free arm lacked energy and Katya agrees. He says the kicks and flicks
could have been sharper but she embodied the character well.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Nicola says it’s good to have gone first
because now she can just support everyone else. Scores: 6, 7, 6 for a total of 19, which I think is about the most it deserved although Katya is clearly
thrown by it. Claudia says ‘something weird’ happens to the scores in week 3.
We shall see if that’s foreboding or not.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Terms and Conditions this week come from a very blurry and
probably drunk John Cleese who is doing a ‘bit’ where he keeps yawning, for
some reason.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Maise and Gorka as Poundland 'Snow Queen Frosty Ilsa' and some bloke</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maisie’s VT focuses on how excited she was to do well last week,
but she says she’s struggling with the finesse of this one. Her mum comes in
and they’ve cast some other woman in the part presumably because Patsy Palmer couldn’t
fly back from America.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing an American Smooth to ‘Into the Unknown’
from <i>Frozen 2</i>, which is a curious choice for a few reasons: firstly, going to <i>Frozen
2</i> when the soundtrack of <i>Frozen</i> is made up of so many stone cold
bangers; secondly, this song has a really weird rhythm which doesn’t lend itself
to anything other than contempowaft really and thirdly, you want the Strictly singers
to tackle <i>this</i>? [<i>No I do not. - Steve</i>] Maisie’s in what looks to be a pink version of Elsa’s
<i>Frozen</i> dress rather than the natty coat and leggings combo Elsa actually wears
for most of the sequel, and the wig is heavy and ridiculous. She looks like
Anna FGS, just make her Anna. It would also give Gorka a clearer role as Hans
or Kristoff, or even Olaf, rather than miscellaneous man who isn’t in the film
whom he’s actually playing (like the whole POINT of the <i>Frozen</i> films is Elsa
don’t need no man FFS). Anyway, there are a lot of pitfalls, is what I’m
saying, which might be why it’s in the death slot. They do what they can with a
song that’s working against them, and she’s clearly a very good dancer and
performer, but you can see that she’s not really into it in the way she was in
her previous routines, and the footwork isn’t very clean or smooth. Also, the singers go into battle with <i>that </i>note that defeats even Idina Menzel/Adele Dazeem, and it doesn't end well.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the light, the dress looks even worse without blue
lighting to cover how BARBIE PINK it is. Considering they were going on about
how all little girls would love to be Elsa, I can imagine an army of said
little girls nitpicking the whole thing. Anyway, Motsi says it felt like two
different dances put together (which is largely the fault of the music, I
think) but that worked well overall. Craig says the footwork could have been
cleaner and smoother and she never brought her feet together, but her arms are
amazing and he loved the lifts. Shirley says she’s very capable and talented,
but the dress hides a multitude of sins; her upper body is superb but the feet
are a problem.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium Maisie says the comments were probably
spot on and she wasn’t aware of what her feet were doing. We then cut to a live
interview with her parents, and her dad is also played by an actor. You’d think
Sid Owen and Pasty Palmer, as <i>Strictly</i> graduates, would be willing to pop on
Zoom for thirty seconds, but no. [<i>Then again I can't imagine either of them has particularly fond memories of their time. - Steve</i>] Also she has a stand-in sister, taking the place of Whitney, who appears to be
played by Sonia (pop star Sonia, not her aunt Sonia as played by another <i>Strictly</i>
legend, NatCass). Scores: 8, 7, 9 for a total of 24. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Caroline and Johannes as Mama Rose and Louise</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This VT is full on luvvie madness with Caroline slow-mo
touching the seats in an empty theatre (not pictured: the minions going round
after her with disinfectant spray) and talking about her acting career and how
lovely and glorious everyone is, and we also meet her daughter Rose, and via
video, her husband Sam Farmer, who she always refers to as ‘Sam Farmer’ not Sam
because she is Caroline. They are doing musical theatre couple’s choice and if
this isn’t ALL the ham, and the eggs, and the chips, I want my money back.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing their Couple’s Choice to ‘Everything’s Coming
up Roses’ from Gypsy (missed opportunity not to use this for The Simpsons theme as 'Everything's Coming Up Milhouse') and I know every time we recap movies/musicals week there’s
the grumble over them being the same thing, but I’m sorry, not one person knows
<i>Gypsy </i>the film better than <i>Gypsy</i> the musical and I will die on
this hill. Anyway, Caroline’s playing Mama Rose, with a not very subtle undercurrent
of ‘Imelda Whonow, you want to cast me’ – I was actually surprised she didn’t
sing as well as dance, for that very reason. Johannes seems to be playing Louise which is the kind of
gender fuckery I'm here for – Grace Jones and Louise in one night, what a legend,
just crown him Queen of everything and have done with it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The routine itself can’t actually live up to
the promise of Caroline going full throttle luvvie, with Johannes slightly overshadowing
her throughout. She doesn’t do a bad job, but she isn’t really pushing every movement
to its limit and so it feels somewhat subdued, a word that has no place in a
description of Caroline doing a musical theatre routine [<i>particularly when she's playing MAMA ROSE - Steve</i>]. There’s a good lift at
the end though and her wig is full Bette Midler.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says she set the character up well but it didn’t translate
into the dance, as it was too polite and balletic and needed more of the desperation
of the character, but he thought the timing was amazing. Shirley says she
started extremely well and there could have been more consistent energy but she
thinks she’s improving. Motsi says she sees the improvement but there was real
power in her voice when she came on doing an acting, and she needs to put the
same power into the dancing. Caroline says she’ll take the notes on board if
she’s still here next week. In the Clauditorium, Caroline dedicates the dance
to everyone in theatre who isn’t able to work at the moment. God I miss
theatre. We also get a little VT from her daughter Rose congratulating her for
playing a Rose.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Scores: 6, 7, 8 for a total of 21. Craig and Shirley seem to
have mislaid their Couple’s Choice 8 paddles and accidentally picked up their
regular paddles there.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jason and Luba as Finn and Rey<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their VT features Jason trying to give Luba a crash course in
Star Wars, or at least the original trilogy anyway… despite the fact they’re
playing characters from the sequel trilogy. Poor Luba.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing the Paso to the theme from Star Wars and it
opens with a bit of capering about with lightsabers, though nothing to rival
Kellie and Kevin’s Charleston, then it’s into the dance proper. He’s pretty
wooden throughout, and his posture generally isn’t great either, but you can
see in his face that he’s trying. Then there’s a bit where he slings her through
his legs and briefly forgets what to do afterwards, so overall it’s a bit like
a boy playing dress up which… it’s a big boy playing dress up, so what else did
we expect?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Shirley says she liked the knee walks but didn’t find the
character of the paso in it, he has a nice smile but the understated strength
of paso was missing. Motsi says she can feel his motivation and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>energy but that he needs to take time to
understand the intention of the movement because then he might understand it
better (is it me, or are Motsi’s critiques way more useful this year than
last?). [<i>Not just you, she can still be a bit vague sometimes but I've seen an improvement too - Steve</i>]<i> </i>Craig said it felt a bit by numbers as he was going from position to
position and missing the Spanish lines and fluidity. We get a video from his
friend Osi. Is Nicola the only one not to get a supporters’ VT? Or did I blink
and miss hers?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Scores: 3 (OOF), 4, 5 for a total of 12. I mean it wasn’t
good, but I don’t know that it was a 3, bless him.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>JJ and Amy as Butch Cassidy and... presumably Etta Place?</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Their VT sees them going back to the Olympic Park and
showing us that he won a gold medal. I’m a bit worried that they’ve used up all
his sentimental VT storylines already, what are they going to do when it comes
to Couple’s Choice?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing a foxtrot to ‘Raindrops Keep Falling on My
Head’ from <i>Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid</i>, one of the three films
used tonight that I haven’t seen (the others being <i>The Good, The Bad and The
Ugly</i>, and <i>Gnomeo and Juliet</i> obviously). This is a very sweet routine
– there aren’t many gimmicks to it other than starting and ending by sitting on
a bicycle, which I assume is something to do with the film. He’s really
performing well as the charming lead and he has neat footwork, other than a
sloppy bit at the end. It’s a world away from Amy chucking everything at Karim last
year, but in a good way.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi says when he came in he was timid but now she sees his
leading with a gentleness and he’s taking huge steps. Craig says the timing went
out at the end, but it was quiet and understated and he can’t believe JJ can dance
like that. Shirley stands and claps and says it’s the first dance where he
started to understand the importance of footwork and she’s very pleased. In the
Clauditorium, he is also denied a friends and family call (spoiler: no-one else gets one from this point on, which makes them having three in a row very weird indeed). Scores: 8, 8, 8 for
a total of 24. Claudia calls it the highest foxtrot of the series, as if there
are many others to compare it to.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>HRVY and Janette as Gnomeo and Juliet</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They go and sit in an empty cinema (God I miss cinema) [<i>oh god, me too. I miss everything. I even found myself missing THE GYM this week, what has become of me - Steve</i>] where
Harvey bitches about having to do <i>Gnomeo and Juliet </i>and Janette tries to sell
it with an ‘er, the animation’s good?’ <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And so to ‘what nonsense are they dressing Janette up in
this year’ – and she actually gets off lightly compared to Trolls and Pokemon:
there’s no full body makeup for one thing. HRVY has a white beard and they both
have silly gnome hats but it’s not as ugly as I’d have feared (possibly because
what they’ve done to Max and Dianne makes this pale in comparison). The dancing
itself is mostly watchable, he is a mega ringer after all, but there are a couple
of stumbles in places and he’s very bent-legged rather than straight-legged.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says it looked a bit awkward on him and he didn’t see
enough basic cha cha cha, but he thought the spotting and storytelling were
great. Shirley says he’s super cool (?!) but there wasn’t enough cha cha cha
content or footwork. Motsi says she likes them but he needs to be more
coordinated from top to bottom and to have more cha cha cha in there.
Traditional cha cha cha deramping for a male ringer, every year, like
clockwork. Come the final this will be his ‘nightmare’ week.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Janette says it was difficult to
balance how much cha cha cha to put in given the movie week theme. Sure
Janette. Scores: 6, 7, 8 for a total of 24.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Ranvir and Giovanni as Deena and Jimmy</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Ranvir says they’re dancing to ‘Dreamgirls’, which they aren’t,
they’re dancing to one of the songs from the musical... I mean film... rather than the theme itself. Anyway. Her
VT sees her going up in a Spitfire for some GMB thing or other, I dunno, Remembrance Day I guess.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They are dancing a foxtrot to ‘Love You I Do’ and just like Aljaž
is the king of the lovely waltz, and Kevin was the king of paso, Giovanni is
staking his claim to be the best at foxtrot (Anton du Beke’s face, I’d love to
see it). Proving his routine with Michelle last year wasn’t a fluke, this is a
lovely routine and Ranvir really has charisma (and a dreadful Helen Shapiro wig
but the dress is lovely so you win some you lose some). The chemistry between
them is delightful – there’s a little nose rub and they sing at each other,
which is adorable. Occasionally her arm jerks up a bit but otherwise there’s
little to fault here – she’s the unexpected treat of this series.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi gives it a standing ovation and the audience whoop
really loudly. Shirley praises the constant contact and calls it so simple and
beautiful it was breathtaking; she just loved the quality of the piece. Motsi
says it’s national foxtrot day, and she sees the two of them complementing each
other well, and she loved them embodying the dance. Craig says Motsi’s turned
into Bruno with all her gesticulating, and he gives it a FAB-YOO-LUS because this
dance was pure Craig-bait, let’s face it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium we learn that Ranvir’s ballet teacher
once wrote a report with the word ‘elephant’ in it. Ooh, stealth dirty ringah.
Scores: 9 (!!), 9, 9 for a total of 27. (It’s so weird not writing 36 for a 9ed
routine).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jamie and Karen as Hercules and a Muse</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the VT, Jamie says it’s uncanny how much he looks like
Hercules and he’s willing to go full topless for the votes. God, I love how
much of a dork he is. [<i>Me too! His personality is so much more enjoyable than it looked like it was going to be on last year's launch show. - Steve</i>] He puts on a padded chest suit and reduces Karen to
laughs because we all know how much she loves a dad joke.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re dancing to ‘From Zero to Hero’ and Jamie’s outfit is
hilarious – he isn’t topless (that’s reserved for HANKS only) but in a glittery
brown dad vest, and a gold skirt, with a gold headband, a long curly ginger wig and a blue
cape. It’s amazing. Karen’s in a white dress and a wig that looks like a load
of mini rolls glued together. They open with a bit of augmented reality of
Hercules derpily knocking down a load of columns and the camera then cuts too
late so we see the effect vanish clumsily, but as the whole vibe of this
routine is ‘uh-oh spaghettios’ it could be deliberate (sidebar: if anyone this
series had to do <i>The Simpsons</i> it should have been either these two or Bill and
Oti – Bill as Comic Book Guy, obviously). It’s very silly and the OTT daft
humour suits his personality well. The dancing is a mixed bag – there are some
nice side by side moments, but there’s also a bit where he clearly biffs doing
a leapfrog over Karen. It’s endearing as heck though. Also: Tess has LOST HER
SHIT and can’t stop laughing at it all throughout the judging. Broken Tess is my favourite flavour Tess so give these two extra points for that, please. [<i>I really enjoyed this routine! It was sloppy as hell but they were just both so darn charming I didn't care. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi calls it a great comeback, Craig says it was more
Farrah Fawcett than Herculean (he clearly hasn’t seen the film because that's kind of the point that he starts out as a daft old himbo) and Jamie could
have loosened up a bit more in the swivel but it made him laugh a lot. Shirley
says it was a massive improvement on last week. Everyone laughs some more and
Tess dashes off stage to compose herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hee.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Jamie says it was the fastest thing anyone’s
ever done. Claudia mentions the hair, makeup and costume team – wise to get
that in before Max and Dianne. Scores: 7, 8, 8 for a total of 23 and I mean
probably not, but I’m not going to begrudge them it for entertainment value alone.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Clara and Aljaž as Satine-wearing-Christine-Aguilera’s-corset
and Harold Zidler<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess is still giggling as she introduces them. Their VT sees
them being a little disappointed but resolute after last week and laughing a
lot about having to be sexy (again) this week. They’re doing a Tango to ‘Lady
Marmalade’ from Moulin Rouge and Clara descends on a big heart wearing a
sparkly red basque and a frilly black skirt, whilst Aljaž plays a sexy Jim
Broadbent. She’s very good at embodying the sultry energy, and having more fun
than we’d usually see in a tango. It’s very enjoyable to watch, but I wouldn’t
call it exactly staccato and precise in the movement. I suspect they’ve emphasised
the fun parts more than doing a straight tango because of having such a serious
vampy routine last week but not sure it feels very genre-pure. [<i>I think the music didn't help either. - Steve</i>]<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Craig says her frame has really improved but he isn’t sure
about having disco elements competing with the tango and he’s a bit conflicted,
but overall he really liked it. Shirley says she has exactly the same note as
Craig but was less keen on it. However, she thinks Clara has a great frame, but
the movements need more finesse and she thinks Clara’s likely to be better in Latin
where she can let it all go. Motsi says her energy is great but she needs to
control and direct that power a bit more rather than just letting it go everywhere.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Aljaž is very excitable as they bound up to the Clauditorium
and Clara says it was all her teenage pop video dreams come true. She also has
a jewel right between her breasts and I can’t work out if it’s deliberate or
not. Scores: 7, 6, 7 for a total of 20.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Claudia promotes the socials: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
TikTok, Farmville, Animal Crossing and even the official website. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Max and Dianne as Homer and Marge (Tracy Ullman Show era)</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the VT, Max says he doesn’t understand how they’re going
to dance to the Simpsons theme tune. Me neither, unless it’s a Charleston. His
special Couple’s Choice sob story VT is about him loving singing, then joining
a boy band and becoming famous, and also loving his family, friends and
girlfriend. He also has a nan. It’s not the most EMOSH JOURNEE of these things
but Max doesn’t strike me as a very gushy guy.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And so. This. Firstly, if we’re going into TV theme tune
land, then do it, I’m all for it, there’s loads of good ones out there, bring
it on. But to call it movie week is a streeetch, especially if you’re not
invoking anything iconically from <i>The Simpsons</i> movie (i.e. spider pig or the dome). Their
makeup and outfits are awful – she looks like someone attempting and failing to
recreate Crystal Methyd’s Bert’n’Ernie outfits from <i>Drag Race</i>, and he looks
like someone put a cushion up his top and said ‘will this do?’. He looks literally
nothing like Homer, and without the (terrible) blue wig you wouldn’t know she
was Marge. [<i>Yeah, the whole look was very those off-brand "Supportive Cartoon Wife" costumes they sell on Amazon, wasn't it? - Steve</i>] And this dance is supposed to be ‘Street Commercial’ but even by this show’s
ever loosening boundaries on what Couple’s Choice is, it doesn’t look like much
of anything. Admittedly it starts out not too bad, because it looks like a
Charleston, which it should have been. But then it descends into fever dream
madness. There’s pratfalls, inflatable donut slinging and a truly nonsensical bit
where he humps her feet. For far too long. Dianne’s ugly blue granny pants are on show the whole
time, they sit on a sofa for ages (Ben Cohen shout out). I just don’t
understand why anyone thought making the closest thing this series has to a
HANK look like THAT and do that routine was a good idea, and just kill Couple’s Choice now, with fire,
it’s done, it’s over, I’m out.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tess is nowhere near as amused as she was with Jamie.
Shirley says she loves the Simpsons and it was a big change for Max. Well, yeah,
but that’s damning with faint praise if there ever was any. Motsi says it was a
challenging routine and he made it look easy. Craig said it was risky and
people are either going to love or hate it, and he loved it. Has Bruno left his
cocaine stash under Craig’s desk?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the Clauditorium, Max looks bewildered and we can see his
hand is strapped up, and it’s weird no-one mentioned that, given how much this
show loves an injury porn. [<i>I think it's been strapped up for most of the series, hasn't it? He frequently seems to have some sort of wrist support on in training. - Steve</i>] Scores: 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24. Of course.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Bill and Oti as Il Brutto and Il Buono</b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">[<i>I totally read that as "Il Brutto and Il Bruno", btw - Steve</i>]</p><p class="MsoNormal">Their VT sees them telling us they’re playing the ‘good’ and
‘bad’ from <i>The Good, The Bad and the Ugly</i>, and is that two cowboy films in one
movie week? On American Election results day? Sure.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They’re doing a paso to the film’s theme and they’re dressed
in their best Cowboy garb (Oti’s outfit seems to be a blend of Cowboy and
Native American Stereotype) and…. I’m not really sure how I feel about this
routine? It’s clearly been given the pimp slot because of the drama but for me
it doesn’t live up to their dance last week (which should have been used this
week) nor to Ranvir’s foxtrot. It’s often hard with a Paso to tell how much it’s
leaning into comedy because it’s so OTT but it’s really hard here – I don’t know
if they’re playing it for laughs or not. It’s pouty but not quite hammy enough
to be clearly done for laughs. It’s energetic, and the dancing isn’t bad, but his
shaping is also not quite right for me - he looks like one of those bendy bananas
the Brexiteers think the EU banned - and there’s faffing about in the middle
with a guitar that makes me come over all Len Goodman. I like Bill, but I think
the show’s leaning into him being a contender a bit too hard at the moment, because
although last week was a bona fide triumph, this… not so much.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Motsi says his vibe is ‘I’m not here to play, I’m here to
paso’ and she praises his eyes and focus, calling it a ‘movie week highlight’.
Craig says if he keeps going like this they’ll be seeing him in the final.
Shirley says it had everything, it had drama, sensuality, great arms and he’s ‘extraordinarily
fantastic’. In the Clauditorium, we’re reminded about Oti being strict. Scores:
8, 9, 9 for a total of 26.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">The vote opens to Bill and Oti dancing like loons and breaking Claudia in the process. Both hosts reduced to giggling messes in one week without a single Claudia gag? Nice work everyone.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Leaderboard:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">1. Ranvir and Giovanni - 27<br />2. Bill and Oti - 26<br />3=. Maisie and Gorka - 24<br />3=. JJ and Amy - 24<br />3=. Max and Dianne - 24<br />6. Jamie and Karen - 23<br />7=. Caroline and Johannes - 21<br />7=. HRVY and Janette - 21<br />9. Clara and Aljaž - 20<br />10. Nicola and Katya - 19<br />11. Jason and Luba - 12</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A very weird leaderboard for what’s been quite a weird
evening. I can’t see Jason escaping the dance-off but there are a lot of people
who could be joining him. Surprisingly HRVY’s about to have his first big test
and he could be a shock bottom two joiner, but given all the ties, I’d say
anyone other than Ranvir and Bill should hope they have good support. And Clara
and Nicola might be in danger given the GBP’s lack of support for black women.
Still, we’ll find out soon enough who will send Jason home – or, if by some
miracle, he survives the public vote - who will be the first SHOCK!BOOT! Join
me then.</p>Radhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17031764260176803659noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-71750513161599245542020-11-07T16:55:00.002+00:002020-11-07T16:57:05.535+00:00This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...<h4 style="text-align: left;"> <u>Monday</u></h4><div>- Jacqui would have been doing a paso this week.</div><div>- Jonathan Reynolds, the Shadow Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, gave Jacqui a 10.</div><div>- Anton and Jacqui have a very similar sense of humour.</div><div>- Jacqui feels a bit unlucky because she got cast on a series of really good dancers.<br />- Jacqui and Maisie have been neighbours during the show.</div><div>- Shirley doesn't think we can write anyone off yet.<br />- Shirley is excited about her movie week dress.<br />- Shirley thinks you should hide your cellphone on a Monday and listen to your teacher. I think that was her advice for the celebrities learning to dance but to be honest it's good praxis generally.</div><span><a name='more'></a></span><div>- Shirley is looking forward to seeing routines from Caroline, Bill, HRVY and Janette and, er, Jacqui. Does someone want to tell her?</div><div>- JJ dropped his cape in rehearsals so he was quite worried that he'd do it again on the night but also hoped that lightning wouldn't strike twice.</div><div>- JJ's surgeon apparently watched his paso through his fingertips.</div><div>- One of JJ's former Sergeants emailed him to say his waiting for the results face is the same as his old kit inspection face. </div><div>- Amy's favourite saying is "don't get bitter, just get better". Now that I think about it, has anyone seen Amy Dowden and Alyssa Edwards in the same room at the same time?</div><div>- JJ & Amy are doing a <i>Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid</i>-themed foxtrot on Saturday.</div><div>- JJ likes getting the judges' comments because it's like getting a debrief when out on missions.</div><div>- Caroline thought she gave her paso everything and couldn't have done more without wetting herself.</div><div>- When Johannes picked Caroline up after the paso, he told her he loved her and had a little cry.</div><div>- For Movie Week, Caroline and Johannes are doing a <i>Gypsy</i>-themed Couples' Choice.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Tuesday</u></h4><div>- Neil enjoys hanging out with Nancy and they laugh all the time.</div><div>- Neil has watched Maisie's tango back and still can't see the balance issue Craig was talking about.</div><div>- Neil thinks JJ's breathing went nowhere.</div><div>- Jason is the nicest guy Neil's ever met.</div><div>- Neil has been to Cali in Colombia, the home of salsa.</div><div>- Neil thinks salsa is not about the hips, it's about the rhythm.</div><div>- Neil thinks Clara needs to learn where to direct her power.</div><div>- There are two schools of jive - one where it's danced down into the ground, and one where it's light and airy.</div><div>- Jamie did not feel that his American smooth was particularly better than his cha cha cha.</div><div>- Jamie thinks the judges talk gibberish.</div><div>- Dancing the American smooth made Jamie feel like a dancing hippo in a tutu.</div><div>- Judge Rinder is now claiming to be Jamie's dad.</div><div>- Jamie turned 32 this week.</div><div>- Jamie and Karen are dancing to 'From Zero to Hero' from <i>Hercules </i>this week.</div><div>- Karen burnt her hand on a candle this week.</div><div>- Neil thinks there were moments when Jamie almost looked like a pro. Almost.</div><div>- Neil thinks HRVY has a "latin head" - latin dancers move their heads around when they dance while ballroom dancers know to keep their head in a certain position.</div><div>- Ranvir has now learned which parts of her body she needs to push into Giovanni (fnar) for him to move her - it's just a question of remembering to do it.</div><div>- Ranvir tends to have a little cry around 3pm on a Wednesday, but by 4pm she's back in business.</div><div>- Ranvir's nickname is 'butterfly'.</div><div>- Ranvir and Giovanni will be doing a <i>Dreamgirls</i>-themed foxtrot.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Wednesday</u></h4><div>- Katya has taken to reading the name captions too.</div><div>- Katya felt like she was going to burst from joy during their Couples' Choice.</div><div>- It took Nicola a few days to get the hang of waving the flags around.</div><div>- Nicola seems to never want to see those flags again. Us too.</div><div>- Olly from Years And Years was very happy with Nicola and Katya's performance.</div><div>- Zoe loves Olly's mum.</div><div>- Nicola and Katya are doing a jive to 'Greased Lightning' and Nicola will be coming down on a huge engine.</div><div>- Their training footage looks... not good.</div><div>- Zoe's dropping 'Everybody's Talking About Jamie' puns in now because, let's face it, he's not going to be here come Musicals week.</div><div>- HRVY is showing a slight turned-in foot in the rehearsal footage from his cha cha cha.</div><div>- Ian thinks Nicola's had a tough dance draw so far. Despite one of those dances being Couple's Choice.</div><div>- Zoe's Yoda impression is... not great.</div><div>- Max and Dianne are doing Street Commercial to... er... <i>The Simpsons'</i> theme tune. (Surely that's a Charleston choice?)</div><div>- Jason needs to work on stretching during his paso.</div><div>- Max bites his bottom lip when he's concentrating.</div><div>- HRVY is struggling keeping his legs straight in rehearsals.</div><div>- Zoe is here for a Maisie and HRVY showmance.</div><div>- HRVY has three nans.</div><div>- HRVY's brother fitted an alarm for Zoe.</div><div>- HRVY and Janette are dancing to 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart', which is famously from <i>Gnomeo and Juliet</i>. *Side-eye*.</div><div>- Ranvir and Clara both have fantastic frames, and not in a Spectacle Wearer Of The Year sense.</div><div>- Zoe looks better dragged up than Ian.</div><div>- Max and Dianne had to be last minute guests when Maisie's <i>EastEnders </i>schedule ran over.</div><div>- Zoe thinks the pub in <i>EastEnders </i>is called the Old Vic.</div><div>- Dianne screeched so loud when they finished the jive that her throat hurt the next day.</div><div>- Max will be wearing a fake belly this Saturday.</div><div>- Max has an adorable nephew.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Thursday</u></h4><div>- Luba loved the pro dance on Saturday.</div><div>- Luba was pleased to get 6 6 6 on Hallowe'en.</div><div>- Jason's podcast friend Osi is coming for Craig.</div><div>- Jason becomes a child when you hand him a lightsaber. This doesn't seem like an enormous surprise.</div><div>- Maisie doesn't like that the American Smooth is 'glidey and pretty'.</div><div>- Giovanni is experimenting with a topknot.</div><div>- Ranvir will be wearing a blue dress this weekend.</div><div>- Vicky Gill isn't doing many fittings these days.</div><div>- Clara may be wearing red, or she may be wearing bright pink.</div><div>- Max and Dianne's training footage looks like they're very out of sync.</div><div>- Apparently HRVY told all the other celebs that he wasn't going to be very good.</div><div>- Maisie is mortified over her reaction to Shirley's 9.</div><div>- The Strictly singers will be tackling 'Into the Unknown' this weekend. Ulp.</div><div>- Jamie thinks the Charleston is like doing the heptathlon in one minute.</div><div>- Gorka would like to be Olaf this weekend so he won't have to wear many clothes.</div><div>- Rylan and Bill hadn't met before today.</div><div>- Apparently not everyone realised that the elephant in Bill & Oti's quickstep wasn't real.</div><div>- Oti is not here for Komedy routines.</div><div>- Oti genuinely believes that Bill can become an incredible dancer.</div><div>- Bill might get his guitar out this weekend.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Friday</u></h4><div>- The show is having to buy double props this year so that the choreographers and couples don't share.</div><div>- The sets are also bigger to allow for social distancing.</div><div>- Gethin loves a bit of flying.</div><div>- This week's Friday panel is Karim Zeroual, Angela Scanlon and Jayde Adams.</div><div>- Jayde is still obsessed with Mark Ramprakash. after all these years.</div><div>- Jayde thinks having cha cha cha will be good for HRVY's journey story because everyone sucks at it.</div><div>- Jamie is wearing a skirt for his Charleston, yes to that gender bending.</div><div>- Angela thinks Jason using a light saber will be good to distract from the footwork. Oof.</div><div>- Apparently this year, Couple's Choice 'can be whatever you want it to be' thus rendering Showdance even more pointless.</div><div>- Rylan still has vivid memories of Karim being brought to tears by his Viennese waltz.</div><div>- Jason Gilkinson thinks the Bond franchise has only been going for 20-30 years. </div><div>- The pro routine will see many of the male pros taking on different eras of Bond. Missed opportunity to cast one of the female pros and wind up the MEN MUST BE MEN snowflakes if you ask me.</div><div>- Rylan would like to point out that the Bond routine was recorded before the death of 'Sir Jim Connery'.</div><div>- Caroline hasn't seen her costume or wig yet.</div><div>- Vicky Gill is very sorry for what happened to Clara's skirt last weekend.</div><div>- The table was the culprit in destroying Clara's skirt. </div><div>- There is a special dance to learn for Children In Need this year if you fancy it. Max didn't fancy it, by the looks of things.</div><div>- JJ is <i>The One Show</i>'s insider who gives them all the goss - but it's mostly about himself.</div><div>- Angela is in love with Caroline's hamstring.</div><div>- Karim's still trying to spin the story that being a RINGAH is really hard.</div><div>- Jayde thinks Jason and Luba will be going home this week, Angela thinks Max and Dianne, and Karim thinks Caroline and Johannes.</div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-35358215051942358532020-11-02T09:32:00.001+00:002020-11-04T20:25:30.179+00:00Hit the road, Jacq<p><b>Week 2: 12 Couples Results - 1 November 2020</b></p><p>We begin with a spoopy Hallowe'en pro dance, where Janette plays a young girl wandering through a creepy fairground where she immediately encounters the most horrifying thing imaginable: Anton Du Beke. They do a bit of Viennese waltzing to 'Que Sera Sera' and he gives her a coin with which to operate the Fortune Teller machine, which contains a very sinister-looking Luba. Luba gives Janette her fortune, which is clearly not good, as the music transitions into 'I Ran' by A Flock Of Seagulls, and the rest of the pros emerge as various creatures of the night to torment Janette and overpower her and, because it's Janette, chuck her in the air a bit for good measure. It ends with the rest of the creatures of the night wandering off cackling to themselves, leaving Janette trapped inside the fortune teller's box, while Luba stares icily into the camera.<i> [Loved it. Luba gives good villain - Rad] </i>And because this is BBC1 teatime family viewing, as soon as it's over, Luba runs over to hug Janette just so all the kids in the audience know it isn't real.</p><p>Tess and Claudia return, both in outfits that are largely less successful than those we had last night: Tess is in a short sequinned dress with big shoulders and Claudia's in a black top with bronze wide-legged sequinned trousers. Claudia thanks Elizabeth Honan for choreographing the group number, and Tess reminds us that all the pro dances were recorded earlier this year when the pros became a household.</p><p>Coming up: Sam Smith, the return of Dance Debrief (and Bruno!), and the very first dance-off of the series. The judges return - Shirley now in white, Motsi in black and silver, and Craig still in black, but this time black with sequins. Hey, it's a step in the right direction. Shirley says that she never really likes this part, but particularly on this series because everybody brought their A-game last night.</p><p>Before we find out who the first couple in the dance-off is, here's Bruno with the round-up of last night. In terms of the bits we haven't already seen: Max says it was nerve-wracking but he enjoyed it, Giovanni calls Ranvir "a beautiful butterfly", JJ says he had the best time, Jacqui was told by somebody to leave it all on the pitch and that's what she did <i>[so presumably she'll have nothing left for a dance-off, should she end up there? - Rad]</i>, Clara felt really in character and had a lot of fun, Jamie thought it was pretty exhilarating (and Bruno says he's "not quite Fred Astaire yet, but a great improvement"), Caroline thinks she's been given permisson to take risks, Jason just wanted to go out there and leave it on the dance floor, Bruno thinks Nicola was "fresh, relevant, inspiring", and Nicola thought her routine was awesome, HRVY doesn't know how he and Janette got another nine, Bill loved every minute of his quickstep, Bruno loved the arch of Maisie's back (or possibly Gorka's) and Maisie just wants to keep doing this forever because she's having the best time.</p><p>For the first time this year, Tess has the Cue Cards Of Doom in her hand, and it's time to find out which couples are safe, and who is in danger. In no particular order, the following couples are safe: Nicola and Katya, HRVY and Janette, Caroline and Johannes, Ranvir and Giovanni ("thank you! thank you! thank you!", oh that's back again) and JJ & Amy. And the first couple in the dance-off is... Jamie and Karen. He winces, and makes his way over to Tess in a socially-distanced way. "That's not good, is it?" he says. Hee! Bless him. He says that if this is their last dance, they're going to go out and do it and have the best time. Craig is asked to give him some advice, and says to focus on that ballroom section because that's what the judges will be looking for - he needs to remember what Karen told him, because he's a smashing dancer, despite everything Craig has said up to now. Did he have a cocktail during the break, perhaps?</p><p>Now, the show has managed to come up with Covid-resistant ways of doing almost everything... except for the bit where Claudia talks to the safe couples. Instead, we have what she's calling "a caterpillar of dance" - she speaks to each of the couples individually, and they form a socially distanced queue up the steps while they wait for their turn. It is, in all honesty, quite stilted and awkward, but I can't really think of a better way of doing it, so let's just embrace it. Nicola and Katya are up first, and Nicola wants to thank everybody who voted. Claudia says that Years And Years were watching and loved what Nicola and Katya did with their song, and Nicola says she's got a new passion now - she's a dancer, baby! Then they're sent on their way ("don't touch anything!" Claudia warns) and the next couple in line step forward: JJ and Amy. JJ says when you're standing there waiting to hear the results, you realise how much you care, and how much you don't want to go home. He says he's learned to go easier on himself - he couldn't do anything four weeks ago, and he needs to remember how far he's come since then. They move on, and Caroline and Johannes come in. Johannes tells us that their Movie Week routine will be to Caroline's favourite movie, which apparently is a surprise to Caroline. Onward with Ranvir and Giovanni, and Ranvir's been having a weird existential moment now that she's realised that she's actually on Strictly, and she's very grateful to everyone who voted for her to have another week of it. They shuffle out, and HRVY and Janette step forward, where he says how lovely all the fans have been, and also he calls Nana Joyce and said sorry for getting tearful. Janette tips us off as to what they'll be doing for Movie Week: gnomes. No, seriously: gnomes.<i> [LE SIGH - Rad]</i></p><p>Y'know, I saw <a href="https://twitter.com/CalumS1991/status/1322985170782330881">a tweet</a> earlier that likened this whole experience to a meet and greet, and you know specifically which meet and greet it reminded me of? <a href="https://www.eonline.com/uk/news/538640/there-is-nothing-more-awkward-in-life-than-these-photos-of-avril-lavigne-s-meet-and-greet-with-fans">That Avril Lavigne one.</a> No touching!</p><p>Before the triumphant return of Bruno, it's time for a performance from Sam Smith, with their new single 'Diamonds'. Sam is wearing a bolero-style outfit not entirely dissimilar to what Johannes turned out in for this week's paso doble, and normally I would suggest we do a "who wore it best?" poll here, but I think we all know the answer is Johannes. Sorry Sam. Anyway, this also provides an opportunity for Neil and Nancy to get some much-needed screen time by doing a showcase routine on the floor, at the requisite minimum two metres away from Sam, obviously. (For anyone who missed this particular piece of info, I believe that Neil, Nancy, Graziano and Nadiya have formed their own bubble so that they can be available to dance for the guest performers.)</p><p>Afterwards, we're back in Claudia's area for Socially Distanced Dance Debrief: gone is the sofa, and now each judge has their own seat at a safe distance from each other, with a small coffee table in the middle, so the whole thing reads a bit more like <i>Newsnight Review</i>. Craig likens the whole thing to high tea, and asks what Claudia is serving tonight. Sadly, Claudia does not reply "scalding hot tea, hunty!" Anyway, Bruno is more socially distanced than anyone else, appearing as he is via video link from LA. (They even seem to have given him a Zoom backdrop that just about blends in with the studio wall behind him, which is a nice touch.) Anyway, I look forward to the inevitable point during this series where Bruno starts chatting and gesticulating wildly and Claudia has to tell him that he's on mute. Or possibly the point where Claudia has no option <i>but </i>to put him on mute, it could go either way. Anyway, Bruno says he loves the pods that they're sitting in for the main show: "you look like Daleks in glamour gear". </p><p>Shirley opens by discussing Bill and Oti, and specifically his central line (not <i>the </i>Central Line, erstwhile bane of my life, just to clarify): Shirley says that on the first show, everything was out of alignment, but this time everything was on a beautiful vertical line. Claudia reminds Shirley about the "frame of shame" that Oti made for Bill during training, and Shirley says that top professional dancers use those, and it's a credit to Bill that he even attempted to use it because it's not comfortable. Motsi elaborates on Max and how much potential he has with his legs and his neck - as long as he can co-ordinate everything, <i>then </i>he will be dangerous. Claudia suggests that Motsi should have her own branded perfume called that. I would buy it.</p><p>Craig talks a bit more about Nicola, who he thinks was amazing because she danced with her heart and her soul, which is one of the most important things. BUT NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THUMBS, am I right. Socially distanced Bruno wants to talk about Jason and Luba, with a performance that Bruno felt was as bright as the costume. Bruno thinks you can't knock someone down for giving it all they have - Jason needs to work on his technique, but he sold it. Claudia asks Bruno if he disagreed with the others tonight - he says it would be unfair for him to interfere with the others, because they're doing a fantastic job. I seem to remember him having little problem interfering with whoever ends up sitting next to him, but that's another story.</p><p>After a trailer for <i>It Takes Two</i>, the official <i>Strictly </i>podcast, Tik Tok, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Bebo, MySpace, Geocities, Club Penguin and Habbo Hotel<i>, </i>which now also apparently includes some BBC3 stuff involving Blu Hydrangea and the queens from <i>Drag Race UK</i>, Tess is back with the Cue Cards Of Doom. The following couples are safe and through to Movie Week: Bill and Oti, Maisie and Gorka, Max and Dianne, and Clara and Aljaž. I know this bit isn't fun for anyone, but you know who <i>really </i>wasn't enjoying it <i>at all</i>? Clara. (Not that I'm surprised: she's a fan of this show, I'm sure she's well aware of this show's history regarding black women and the public vote, and she was low enough on the leaderboard to probably suspect she was in danger. It must have been a <i>very </i>uncomfortable wait for her.) So that leaves it Jacqui and Anton, and Jason and Luba, waiting to hear which of them is in the bottom two tonight. The couple in the bottom two is... Jacqui and Anton. <i>[Sucks to be a celeb with a first name beginning with J this week, huh? - Rad]</i></p><p>Tess asks Jacqui how she's feeling, and she says she doesn't want to be the first to go, but she really enjoyed that routine so it's a privilege to get to dance it again, and she'll give it some welly. Shirley tells Jacqui that for an absolute beginner she's doing really well: she didn't make any mistakes (...), she was on time with the music and she gave it her best. Now she just needs to go out there, do the same again, and if she's got anything left in the tank, give it a bit more welly, as she said. Anton tells her she's going to be amazing, and Jacqui promises to bounce.</p><p>Back to Claudia, who's now experimenting with "The Disco Chat Queue" as a name. Jason and Luba are up first, and Claudia compliments Jason on his game face while he was waiting for the results, but Jason says it was nerve-racking, but he's glad he made it through. Claudia teases that Jason has the best prop of any movie for next week. He's got the Burn Book from Mean Girls?! Oh, no, apparently he's got a lightsaber because he's doing a Star War. Max and Dianne are next in line, and Claudia reveals that Max bought flowers for every woman on the show for week one. I mean, it's a nice gesture but also...bit archaic? Bit patronising? Or am I overthinking this? (Also, I assume not <i>every</i> woman on the show, I'm assuming Elaine the production accountant didn't get them.) Max says that everyone's been so nice, so it was nothing really. Dianne reveals that next week, Max is going to be Homer Simpson and she's going to be Marge. Max seems... a little uncertain of how to take this news.</p><p>Clara and Aljaž are next, and Claudia makes the same observation that I just did: that Clara probably took that experience the worst of anyone. Clara chuckles that she never wants to experience that again, and Claudia points out that she's going to have to, next week. Clara says she's having so much fun and she doesn't want it to end - she's having the time of her life and she doesn't want it to be over too soon. Bill and Oti are next: Claudia asks Bill if he was ready for the tension and the horror of that moment, and Bill deadpans, "no, I wasn't prepared for that at all, in fact I didn't quite know what was going on, to be honest, I was a bit confused by the whole process. What's happening now? Have I won a speedboat yet?" Claudia reflects on Bill's lack of enthusiasm for a team name, and Oti says that one of Bill's suggestions was "Team I'm Too Stressed Learning A Dance To Actually Come Up With A Team Name And Who Cares". Well I like it, but it's not going to leave much room for anything else in the tweets. Maisie and Gorka are next, and she is going to be Elsa from <i>Frozen</i>, which she is very excited about. <i>[Even though she looks more like an Anna - Rad]</i></p><p>There follows a trailer for Movie Week with a look at all the highlights from Movie Weeks past (and also Reverend Richard Coles), and then it's dance-off time. Jamie and Karen go first, and he seems less nervous this time, although his ballroom frame still isn't great and there's still a gapping problem - but it does suggest that he's capable of working on the things he's been told are an issue. Jacqui and Anton then reprise their samba, and: oof. It wasn't great the first time, if anything it's worse the second time. Jacqui is giving it a bit more welly as promised, but unfortunately the side effect of that is that what little technique she had the first time round seems to go out the window. Honestly, watching her go through this a second time feels almost cruel. As a final indignity, we have that close-up of her on the swing mouthing...well, it's not the lyrics, anyway. It might be "rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb" for all I can tell.</p><p>I suspect I know which way this is going, but over to the judges: based on dance merit, Craig votes to save Jamie and Karen. Motsi says that both couples did very well and picked up a notch this time, but one couple was on a higher level, so she's voting to save Jamie and Karen. So that's it, Jacqui and Anton are out - and Shirley says she would have voted the same way. </p><p>Jacqui tells Tess she's had the greatest adventure she can imagine, and she's just sorry she can't continue it - but she doesn't feel too much shame in losing to the others because they're a fantastic bunch of dancers. We see her best bits, where she talks about all the laughter she's shared with Anton, and thanks him for the care and the brilliant teaching. She's going to remember this experience with joy and pride (not political pride, that's not allowed on the BBC, celebratory pride only) and she wouldn't have missed it for anything. Back in the studio, Jacqui thanks Anton for all the time they've spent together, and thanks everyone on the team for their brilliant work. Anton says that he's loved every second of working with her - "you have a <i>shocking</i> sense of humour" - and it almost seems sincere? Almost. <i>[Well, I suspect he's mostly grateful for the chance to have a nice sit down the rest of the series. Also I saw speculation on Twitter that they might make him the fourth judge which nope, does not need, etc - Rad</i>]</p><p>Tess teases a Movie Week extravaganza with a Bond-themed pro dance, and Claudia adds that there will be a Remembrance Day special on the results show. That's going to be a weird juxtaposition with Movie Week, right? <i>[Maybe it'll be 1917 themed? Dunkirk? - Rad] </i>Jacqui and Anton dance to 'Save The Last Dance For Me' - alone, because of Covid, so the others aren't allowed to rush them like they normally do, and that's kind of bleak. But that's the Covid world, I guess.</p><p>In our post-show round-up over the credits, Jacqui reiterates that she has had the greatest adventure, Caroline is sad that she won't see Jacqui and Anton again, HRVY says that Jacqui is the loveliest woman, Ranvir says that Jacqui has taken a lot from the experience, Max is buzzing to be through, Jamie is relieved to have survived the dance-off, JJ is planning to crush it on Monday, Jason thinks it has been "epic" so far, Bill is excited to do more, Maisie is hoping she'll be allowed to smile again next week, Clara is looking forward to going to the movies, and Katya and Nicola hug and do yet another fist pump.</p><p>That's it from me for now! I did two weekends in a row because I was planning to go away next weekend, and now of course I can't because of lockdown, so sucks for me. But Rad will be here with your recap, and it will be brilliant. Be sure to join us then!</p>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-66449728994693842092020-11-01T16:11:00.001+00:002020-11-01T19:44:28.510+00:00Fitting the Bill<p><b>Week 2: 12 Couples Perform - 31 October 2020</b></p><p>We try to keep this blog non-partisan as much as we can, but honestly, is there anything in this world more satisfying than watching Boris Johnson's lockdown press conference, which got pushed back by over two and a half hours because he has no respect for anybody else's time, getting cut short because it had run over time and BBC1 needed to start <i>Strictly</i>? I, for one, am struggling to think of anything.</p><p>Anyway: Bruno is earning his paycheque by telling us what happened <a href="http://strictlycomebitching.blogspot.com/2020/10/drty-rngh.html">last week</a> on the show, which definitely had his undivided attention and was in no way something he watched out of the corner of his eye while doing a conga around the pool in Los Angeles with a bunch of 19-year-old underwear models. We're reminded in particular that HRVY delivered what Motsi considered to be the greatest first dance in the entire history of the franchise. This week, the pressure is on because the first couple will be leaving the competition, and if they go, it will be entirely their own fault for not working hard enough, or something.</p><p>Titles. I could honestly watch that segment of Caroline and Johannes on a loop for an hour and not tire of it.</p><p>No opening pro dance this week, it's straight to business as Tess and Claudia head into the ballroom. Daly Dresswatch: an all-black sleeveless jumpsuit which is <i>tremendous </i>and makes her look absolutely fantastic, congratulations to all involved. Similarly, Claudia looks great in a sheer black sequinned dress. Tess rightly acknowledges that we've all just had some pretty shitty news (she phrases it in a slightly more teatime-on-BBC1-friendly way) and that Team Strictly are going to do everything they can to make us feel better. And good on them, because honestly, I can imagine there was a lot of stress in that studio tonight as they probably had no idea what time they were going to be on the air, so for the show to run as smoothly and as professionally as it does tonight is no mean feat.</p><p>Tess also reminds us that it isn't a traditional Halloween special tonight (what a bummer that on the rare year when Halloween falls on a Saturday they haven't been able to do it), but there will be plenty of tricks and treats. Claudia introduces the judges: Shirley, resplendent in red; Motsi, looking absolutely stunning in glittery bronze; and Craig, inevitably drawing the short straw in a black dinner jacket and bow tie. Let Craig have a bit of colour! Is that too much to ask? I am enjoying the synchronised sit-down they've all developed this year, anyway.</p><p>And here are our <i>Strictly </i>stars: Caroline and Johannes, Max and Dianne, Clara and Aljaž, JJ and Amy, Maisie and Gorka, Jason and Luba, Ranvir and Giovanni, Jamie and Karen, Jacqui and Anton, HRVY and Janette, Nicola and Katya, and Bill and Oti. We will go into this in more detail later, but for the sake of your eyesight I recommend you do not look directly at Jason and Luba this evening. Everyone whoops and cheers in excitement that they're actually here, as well they might be.</p><p>A reminder of last week's leaderboard, the scores from which will be carried over to this week:</p><p>1. HRVY & Janette - 25<br />2. Maisie & Gorka - 24<br />3=. Caroline & Johannes - 21<br />3=. Ranvir & Giovanni - 21<br />3=. Nicola & Katya - 21<br />6. JJ & Amy - 19<br />7. Clara & Aljaž - 18<br />8. Max & Dianne - 17<br />9. Jason & Luba - 16<br />10. Bill & Oti - 15<br />11. Jamie & Karen - 14<br />12. Jacqui & Anton - 13</p><p>Tess reminds us that that could all change once tonight's scores are added - but probably don't expect too much change, let's be real here.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Max & Dianne</u></h4><p>Opening the show tonight with a jive are Max and Dianne. Max declares this prospect "mint". He's finding it to be a bit of a workout, because it's a lot to take in and a lot of steps to remember. I am transfixed by the background of their rehearsal room, whcih appears to be a load of wooden pallets decorated with green and white foliage. Did someone get married in there the night before? Max says that he's worried about this one; Dianne points out that he said that about the tango too and it all worked out fine. To help Max not feel so much pressure, Dianne arranges a pick-me-up: a video call with Jay McGuiness! You know, Max's bandmate and the performer of one of the most highly-regarded jives in the history of this show! Yeah, that would definitely make me feel so much less pressured. Jay tells Max how proud he is, and Max says he knows nothing about the jive (this, again? Is he going to say that every week?) and he's been "watching you in bed every night". How very <i>Twilight</i>. Jay tells Max not to overthink it. Somehow I don't think that's going to be a problem.</p><p>They're dancing to 'I'm A Believer', and it's a little bit of a bumpy start for Max as he can't quite skip lightly in the way that Dianne's choreography needs him to. In fact, generally this whole routine is just ever so slightly too heavy and grounded for a jive - there's just not a lot of lift in his kicks at any point, and there are moments where it feels like he's slightly behind the beat. It's not a <i>bad </i>performance per se, it's just one that's lacking a fair amount of finesse. I think maybe it would have helped if Dianne had lowered her own energy to match his, because as it is, she's dancing him right off the floor. <i>[Agreed, but Dianne did look super-cute in that outfit, which felt about as Dianney as you could get - Rad]</i></p><p>Still, it goes down well with the rest of the cast, who are up and applauding. Tess asks Max if it helped with the nerves to open the show, and Max says it didn't, but he really enjoyed it nonetheless. After the requisite thank you to Dave Arch, Shirley opens for the judges and tells Max that he has definitely improved - but she wants him to believe in his talent. She says his jive was tight and precise, and he needs to work on his co-ordination and keeping his chin up - literally, not emotionally. Motsi says that Max is coming out of his shell, and she thinks he can push it even further - she liked the rhythmical changes in the dance, and she thinks he's dangerous when he takes control. Craig found it too into the ground, and more commercial/jazz/street than a jive, and there was no retraction whatsoever - but he loved the energy and the timing.</p><p>Max and Dianne bounce up to the Clauditorium, where Claudia declares him "our most scared celebrity" of the year (just as well Halloween week got cancelled, poor lamb). Max says that the whole prospect was scary, but he really enjoyed the dance itself and he's loved this week. Claudia asks if he's going to take that on board and listen to Shirley's advice to believe in himself because he's never danced before - "we've seen your videos, no offence" - and Max says that it's really cool to learn something new. Stay in school, kids! (Except not during a pandemic, please learn from home if you can.) Dianne says she's been working Max hard this week and it's paid off. Scores: Craig 6, Shirley 7, Motsi 7 for a total of 20, and a combined total of 37. "Noiiiiiice!" chirps Dianne, and indeed it's a bump of three points from last week. Max declares himself "buzzin'". </p><p>Terms and conditions time! Claudia was hoping they could just scrap them, but apparently that was a contractual no-no. So instead they're getting people to literally phone it in this year, starting with Gordon Ramsay, reading them on a video somewhere in the USA, presumably around the corner from an improperly-run restaurant that he's in the middle of rescuing.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Clara & Aljaž</u></h4><p>Clara and Aljaž are in the death slot for the first public vote of the series, which is certainly A Choice for the producers to have made given the public's general antipathy to voting for black women on this show. They have a Viennese waltz this year, which will be set at a table and choreographed to tell the story of a battle between the two of them. "So, no smiling?" Clara confirms. Aljaž tells her that there's no Halloween week this year, but also that he chose not to listen when the producer made that announcement and has choreographed a Halloween routine anyway. Hooray! Clara says that she loves theme weeks, and she's glad that they're getting to have a little nod to it. Aljaž says that the hardest element this week will be posture, and Clara says that there are fewer steps in this routine than in last week's, but the footwork is still very complicated and she's going to try to nail the technique. Aljaž explains that posture is very important to help create the rotation of movement and a look of lightness. Clara says Aljaž has been working hard on her timings and her posture, and she's really hoping it will all come together.</p><p>They're dancing to 'You Don't Own Me' by SayGrace, and a bit of a problem emerges quite early on when some of the netting on the lower edges of Clara's dress makes a bid for freedom and dangles precariously around her feet. She copes with this admirably, and she's clearly very focused and putting a lot of effort into getting her footwork right. Unfortunately, there is a moment where, despite Clara's best efforts, the rogue fabric gets exactly where it should not be and she slips, but she carries on. It does, however, seem to have rattled her a little bit, as her frame - which had a few issues beforehand - seems to lose intensity after that. It could have been a lot worse though, as the skirt seems to keep unravelling throughout the routine and is basically wrapped around her foot at one point, and aside from that one slip she seems to emerge without any glaring errors. It's a shame for her, because I think that could have been a really great routine if she hadn't been so distracted by something that was out of her control. <i>[I loved how they both looked great and Halloweeny though, and I thought they did well considering how dangerous that netting looked - Rad]</i></p><p>Aljaž, total gent that he is, checks to make sure that she's okay as soon as the routine finishes. Tess points out the wardrobe malfunction and makes sure that everyone knows Clara carried on like a pro. Motsi opens for the judges by thanking Clara for bringing a bit of Halloween to the party, and says that Clara struggled a little with her hold and her posture, but she needs to keep bringing this level of energy to every dance and she'll improve. Craig says her frame was very loose and her left shoulder started raising up, and halfway through they lost her neck entirely. He would have liked it to be smoother, but he loved the choreography and the drama that Clara brought. Shirley thought it was lovely and had some beautiful footwork - although on the pivots saw Clara going up onto her toes when she needed to drive through her heels. She also advises Clara to press her shoulders down when she rises up, and that will help her out.</p><p>Aljaž high fives Clara as they sprint up to the Clauditorium, and Clara says that she was a bit nervous and so it's no real surprise that her shoulders were creeping up. Aljaž says he loves her shoulders. Clara talks a bit about all the support she's been getting from friends, family and Radio 1 listeners and how glad she is for all of it. Scores: Craig 5, Shirley 6, Motsi 6 for a total of 17 - a one point drop of last week and an overall total of 35.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Bill & Oti</u></h4><p>Next up: Bill and Oti with a quickstep, and also some animals. Bill reflects on last week, and the way Oti's eyes were boring into him during the dance. This week, they're dancing to 'Talk To The Animals', so Bill brings in his rescue birds Jakob and Molly, who can't be released into the wild so he's trying to give them the best life that they can have under the circumstances. Oti notes that Jakob is nodding his approval as they're rehearsing. Bill says that the quickstep is about being light and elegant and tyring to float on air.</p><p>Bill and Oti enter the room and are greeted by some augmented reality creatures before bursting into a quickstep that is one of the great surprises of the night: it's light, energetic, precise and feels genuinely effortless in a way that I certainly didn't see coming. If anyone else manages a greater week-to-week improvement than this all series, I'll be very surprised. Can we just go ahead and officially declare Oti a miracle worker? It all ends with an AR elephant in the room, and thank you to Alexandra Burke for importing that phrase for us. (Also, this was basically a movie/musical week routine? Love that the pros are just declaring their own theme weeks as they see fit this year.) <i>[It was a total musicals week routine. It did go a bit running around in the middle but otherwise great work. I'm ambivalent to the AR so far, I quite liked it in Jacqui and Anton's but less so here - Rad];</i></p><p>Tess tells Bill that Molly and Jakob would be proud, and Craig says that Bill wasn't so much Doctor Doolittle as "Doctor Do-a-lot". He notes that Bill kept his thumb down throughout the whole routine, and it was absolutely fantastic. Shirley says that last week Bill's posture was all over the place, but today his central line was at week nine levels and she could cry with happiness. Motsi wraps up by saying she is super-surprised, in a good way - the stamina and the energy were great, and it was all so clear. She enjoyed every moment of it.</p><p>Up in the Clauditorium, Oti is positively <i>giddy</i> at how well it went, and Bill is still extremely Bill Bailey about it. Is this the most unflappable man in <i>Strictly </i>history? I kind of hope he wins now just so the glitter cannon goes off and Oti screams in delight over her second consecutive win and Tess breaks all the Covid protocols as she hands him the trophy and Bill is just standing there giving them absolutely nooch. Anyway, Oti says that Bill works incredibly hard and takes everything she throws at him. And it's Oti, so you know she means that literally. Scores: Craig 8 (!!!!!), Shirley 8, Motsi 8 for a total of 24, a nine-point increase on last week for a total of 37, and Oti screams and jumps up and down and does a victory dance and Bill...politely says "thank you very much". Hee.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>JJ & Amy</u></h4><p>With the unenviable task of following that up, it's JJ and Amy. Last week's simple and effective waltz went down well, and now he's got to do a paso. Amy explains that JJ will be a matador, and says "and what does a matador have?" in the manner which one might use to address a five-year-old. In training, JJ explains that he lives in some level of pain all of the time, but he's not in any <i>additional </i>pain doing this routine because Amy has choreographed it very cleverly to make sure he isn't. He thinks he'll actually be in better shape when it's all over, and he's constantly finding out what he can and can't do. He vows not to let it defeat him, a little choked-up.</p><p>They're dancing to 'Believer' by Imagine Dragons, and JJ has got a nice snooty paso face going on. It's a slightly tamer and more internalised paso than we're used to, and the range of movement in the arms is a lot less (for obvious reasons), but all credit to JJ for really pushing himself with a dance that was always going to be a real challenge for him. It's not going to go down in history as one of the all-time great pasos, but he think he's done himself proud with what he's managed to accomplish.</p><p>Shirley says that she saw JJ using his breath well, and she liked the shape of his arms behind his back. But she would like to see him continue to work on his standing foot to shift his weight and make him more powerful. Motsi says that JJ understood the character of the dance and gave it the build-up of energy, but sometimes he let that energy go a little bit too much. Craig would have liked to see a more confident lead, and he thinks we've only seen half of what JJ is capable of (JJ's face suggests he begs to differ) - he got out of time at the beginning - but his cape work was very good and he managed to achieve the all-important Spanish line.</p><p>Up in the Clauditorium, JJ gets his glasses back for the full Superman/Clark Kent transformation (and also, he's doing all of these routines unable to see properly, I think that's important to remember). Claudia talks about JJ's daughter Hayley who's watching from home, and he says he thought that side of his personality was lost in Afghanistan, so it was nice to bring that back temporarily. He complements Amy on pushing him hard, and being able to be both good cop and bad cop at the same time. Amy giggles that she goes to the bathroom during training and comes back to find JJ practising without her, because of his Marine mentality. Scores: Craig 5, Shirley 6, Motsi 6 for a total of 17, two less than last week and an overall score of 36. JJ is happy with that result, nonetheless.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Jamie & Karen</u></h4><p>After a preview of the next four dances, it's time for Jamie and Karen. Jamie reflects on opening the show last week and how it could have gone better - he was second-from-bottom on the leaderboard and he's scared he might be the first boot. Karen tells him that the only way is up (not technically true), and they've got an American smooth this week - where he will be descending from the sky on a moon. They go to the Royal Observatory in Greenwich (I assume the new lockdown rules will make this sort of VT a thing of the past?) and then get on with training. Karen says Jamie is putting a lot of pressure on himself, but she's seeing progression. Jamie reiterates that he doesn't want to be in the dance-off.</p><p>Jamie descends on the moon (looking more like Judge Rinder than ever) as the band strikes up with 'Night And Day', and he looks more confident than he did last week - I assume he's probably going to feel more comfortable with ballroom generally. There's tension in his topline though, and his mouth keeps hanging open when he's concentrating in a fairly unflattering way. (As someone who also pulls all sorts of ugly faces when I'm concentrating really hard, I sympathise.) <i>[Yet more beautiful styling from wardrobe on these two though, so there's some consolation - Rad]</i></p><p>Jamie and Karen are clearly very happy with how it went afterwards, and Motsi says that she knew it would be better before he started - because last week she saw him having a panic attack before the music started, but this week he was concentrating. She loved the lines and the fingers, but the ballroom hold was a bit upside down - "not gonna talk about it, Craig will do that", hee. Craig takes her up on that - it was a dance of two halves, and the ballroom bit was really bad because his bottom was sticking out, he was creeping around on tiptoes, there was lots of gapping and the footwork was poor, but he loved the opening sections, the syncopations and the Fred Astaire flair - it was "difficult". Shirley reminds us that Jamie has zero dance experience (except last year's launch show) and advises him to put a bit of tissue by his side, and to dance with his partner without letting the tissue slide, to work on getting his posture right - but he has great potential and it was an improvement from last week.</p><p>Karen reassures him that he did so well, and she's so proud of him, on the way up to the Clauditorium, and Claudia tells him that she wishes she could hug him. Jamie's mum has recorded a message for him: she hopes it went well, and that the judges liked it more than last week. Her advice is that if he ends up in the bottom two, he shouldn't be proud, he should just beg. Classic mum negging, I love it. Jamie thinks Craig definitely loved the routine. Scores: Craig 5, Shirley 6, Motsi 6 for a total of 17 - three points up on last week, and a total of 31. Jamie asks if they're winning, and Claudia says they might as well give him the glitterball now as they might end up having to cut this series short anyway. Hee.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Maisie & Gorka</u></h4><p>Next: Maisie and Gorka with a tango. Maisie says that last Saturday was one of the best nights of her life - she wasn't expecting to get one eight in week one, let alone three of them. She's sad that she's not doing samba any more, but at least she can use her years of practice at doing cliffhangers on <i>EastEnders </i>for her serious tango face. There's a bit of business where Maisie gives Gorka a Halloween scare, and he tries to get her back with limited effectiveness.</p><p>They're dancing to 'Midnight Sky' by Miley Cyrus, and I'm both pleased and disappointed - because I wanted someone to dance to this song this year, but I wanted it for a <i>paso</i>, dammit! Anyway, it's a very dark and moody tango at quite a speedy tempo, danced with great staccato movements from Maisie, and also the best turnout from Gorka's Arse so far this series. I like that we're still getting some good Halloween energy from several of the routines tonight too, even if we can't have a full theme week.</p><p>Craig thinks the pivots need to be taken on the heel and says that Maisie lost her balance right at the very end, but Maisie is an exceptional dancer who brought drama and power and lots of staccato moments. Shirley didn't see Maisie lose her balance and thought she was very well-poised, particularly for week two. She loved the sharp movements and the beautiful footwork. She encourages Maisie to work on tracking her feet as she advances in the competition, but calls her a force to be reckoned with. Motsi says that the choreography was very difficult, and Maisie had to be in hold the whole time which made it even harder - so she's achieving very high standards at this early stage.</p><p>In the Clauditorium, Maisie says that this dance isn't her at all, so she was so pleased to get such good comments. Gorka says it was a very difficult routine, and she's doing really well. We get an update on Maisie's plaster consumption: she's now up to possibly two packets a day. Scores: Craig 8, Shirley 9, Motsi 8 for a total of 25 - one point up on last week, and a total score of 49.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Jacqui & Anton</u></h4><p>Jacqui reflects on the brilliant experience she had last week, and shrugs that somebody had to be at the bottom of the leaderboard - and it happened to be her. Well, I can't fault her attitude, that's for sure. They're dancing a samba to 'Help Yourself', and Jacqui says she is finding it very difficult. To help her improve, Anton has summoned... Ed Balls to come to training. Ed tells her that she needs a prop to distract everyone from how terrible her dancing is going to be (I'm paraphrasing). He opines that she needs to love the dance, and then everyone else will love it too.</p><p>Oh dear. So, Jacqui starts doing some side-by-side dancing with Anton, clutching some feather-fans, and this is a poor choreographical decision because it just highlights all of her weaknesses - no bounce, no rhythm, no <i>confidence</i>. I'm not saying Anton's checked out of this series already and is looking for a way to get his full salary for minimum effort, but I'm not <i>not </i>saying it. To be fair to Jacqui, she's more confident when they're in hold, and some of her footwork there is actually decent, but once they get into the batucadas and the open promenades she gets hopelessly lost again. I really feel for her, because she looks absolutely mortified for most of it, particularly the bit at the end where Anton decided not to bother choreographing anything else for her to do and just shoved her in a swing and made her lip-sync the words. A mess, I'm sorry. <i>[Yeah, I really felt for her because her face just screamed 'I'm lost and he's abandoned me' throughout the whole second half - Rad]</i></p><p>Shirley tries to massage some aloe into the burns by telling Jacqui that it's a very difficult dance, that she stayed on time in the corta jacas, and moving forward she needs to listen to the music and visualise the steps. Also, she was "adorable" with her feathers. Motsi says they had it all - she can't believe how Jacqui has evolved, and she can see she's having fun. She saw some bounce action, but Jacqui needs to soften her knees so her body can absorb more of the impact. Craig says he thought she'd severed her Achilles tendon: "you were limping about, lost at a party somewhere, drunk". Are we sure we didn't just cut into Bruno on the live feed?</p><p>Poor Jacqui limps upstairs with what's left of her dignity, and tells Claudia that she enjoyed it and had the time of her life. We then go to a live feed of Ed Balls, <i>again</i>, because god forbid Jacqui be the centre of her own story. Anyway, I wasted enough of my life recapping Ed sodding Balls in series 14, I'm not doing it again. Anton says Jacqui has changed remarkably since the launch show, and it was his favourite samba on the show, and Jacqui was incredible. Scores: Craig 2, Shirley 5, Motsi 5 for a total of 12, one point less than last week, and a grand total of 25. Anton has a flashback to last year and shouts "a 10, at last!" Please can this be his last year on the show? Honestly, just let it go. He had his best shot of winning last year and it didn't work out, just put him out of his misery. [<i>Especially since we're not short on male pros. God I'd rather give Graziano another go than have more of Anton's nonsense - Rad]</i></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>HRVY & Janette</u></h4><p>Next, we have HRVY and Janette, with the tough task of following up possibly the greatest first dance in <i>Strictly </i>history <i>[Kelvin who now? - Rad</i>]. HRVY says he had an amazing time last week, and he wants to come back and do that routine every week. I don't think he quite gets how this show works. Janette points out that being at the top of the leaderboard in week one is amazing, but staying there is the challenge, as she learned at great cost with Peter Andre and Aston Merrygold. This week they have a Viennese waltz, which HRVY notes is a lot more exposed, so he can't afford to mess up. Janette says that the judges will be expecting a lot, so they really need to nail the details. </p><p>They're dancing to 'Stuck With U' by Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber, and it's another impressive turn from him. It's light, confident, smooth and he drives the routine around the floor very well without showing any of the intensity on his face. There's some nice choreography from Janette in there too. Not quite the showstopper of last week, but still a very convincing statement of intent that these two are in it to win it.</p><p>Tess compliments HRVY on scrubbing up well and he says he's never had his hair like this before (neatly parted at the side). Tess says that his fans won't recognise him, and to that I say: now they know how the rest of us feel. Motsi basically openly admits ahead of time that HRVY is getting a nine again - he brought a different energy this time - he looks like he feels unbothered, but in a pure sense. She's enjoying everything he's doing, and wants him to keep it up. Craig says it was a little bit erratic at times, and his head placement was questionable, and there was too much rise and fall. There were hard edges that need to be smoothed out, but the spotting during the standing spin was phenomenal. Shirley sees a lot of potential in this partnership, but agrees with Craig on the framing issues. Nonetheless, she thinks if he works hard in this series, he could look like a professional dancer by the end of it.</p><p>In the Clauditorium, HRVY declares that he doesn't recognise that dude, but he quite likes him. There's a video message from HRVY's nan Joyce, and at this point it occurs to me that I'm probably not that far from the stage of my life where we'll get an appearance from someone's nan on this show and they'll turn out to be younger than I am. Joyce has a framed gold certificate for one of HRVY's records in the background, bless her. HRVY is a bit tearful to see his nan, and he says that he hopes she liked it. He says he found the switch from jive to ballroom difficult - he knows his head wasn't already in the right place, but it's such a lovely studio he keeps wanting to look at it. Heh. Scores: Craig 7, Shirley 8, Motsi 9 for a total of 24, one down on last week, putting him level with Maisie on a total of 49. (Also, HRVY got the same score as Bill this week - who saw <i>that </i>coming?!)</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Ranvir & Giovanni</u></h4><p>Four dances left to go, so we get a preview of those ahead of our next couple: Ranvir and Giovanni. They're dancing a quickstep in a sunflower field - but since it's the wrong time of year for that, Giovanni has brought Ranvir to a pumpkin patch instead. They pick out some pumpkins and go off to carve them while Giovanni explains how you do a quickstep. Would it not be better to...do some training? I mean I'm not the expert here, I'm just saying. Anyway, Giovanni tells Ranvir that she needs to maintain frame all the way through and make it look like she's enjoying herself. They eventually get to training, and Ranvir confirms that the quickstep is indeed both quick and steppy, and the hard bit is trying to keep her top half still while her legs are going like the clappers.</p><p>They're dancing to 'You Are The Sunshine Of My Life' and there's some good content in here - Ranvir is good at keeping up the body contact and at getting around the floor, but at the point where they stand on the spot and attempt to do the whole kicking though each other's legs bit, it all goes slightly wrong. It gets a little bit skippy at the end too, but it's a decent enough effort - definitely still in the upper half of the performances we've seen tonight. </p><p>Craig says that the charleston section went a little bit wrong and wasn't clear - he wasn't sure if her feet were supposed to be going through Giovanni's legs or not, "so make a choice and go for it, even if you kick him". Heh. The pendulum timing was out too, but he really likes this partnership and he adored the storytelling. Shirley says we've seen some fantastic frames this series and Ranvir's is superb, which shows she has a strong centre. It was light and bright, but she'd like to see some more absorption in Ranvir's ankles so it's not so heavy when she lands. Motsi tells Ranvir she's proud of her, and she's transforming like a butterfly - she loves the energy that's coming through, and she thinks Ranvir has everything that Shirley and Craig are asking for - she just needs to work on having the stamina to show it.</p><p>Up in the Clauditorium, Ranvir says she is grateful to be here - she's really touched, and this is a whole different side of her that's been lost for a long time. Ranvir's mum is in the audience, and we hear about how Ranvir's mum has been taking care of her during these long weeks. Scores: Craig 6, Shirley 7, Motsi 8 for a total of 21, same as last week, and a total of 42.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Nicola & Katya</u></h4><p>With our first Couple's Choice of the series, it's Nicola and Katya next. If I may be permitted a brief sidebar here: I'm not a fan of Couple's Choice, I think week two is far too early to start it, I think it's all too often used as a gimme to basically guarantee someone a bunch of eights and not have to worry too much about technique, I think it has a history of being used to favour certain contestants over others, and also in this year where there's a shorter series and not everyone is going to get to do the full roster of ballroom and latin anyway, I think it has no business being in the competition. <i>[I would consider keeping it for the final instead of showdance - Rad] Anyway</i>, I'm sure no one cares what I think, it's here and there's nothing I can do about it, let's just get our heads down and trudge on through. Nicola wants people to see the story of how she became the person that she is today: she grew up in Leeds, and she started boxing pretty much by accident: her mum took her to an after-school boxing class because she couldn't get a babysitter. After she finished school, Nicola moved to London to carry on boxing at Haringey Boxing Club, so she takes Katya there to see it, and Nicola reflects on how much she owes to the boxing club. Her coach Gerry Willmott talks about what a natural talent she is, and how proud they all are of her. Nicola says that winning the London Olympics was the best moment of her life, and Gerry points out that she's inspired other women to follow in her footsteps. Katya points out that Nicola broke through in a male-dominated world, and Nicola says it really helped with her confidence too: it's important to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with who you are. </p><p>So they're dancing street/commercial to 'Shine' by Years And Years, although if you told me this was actually contempowaft I'm not sure I'd be able to refute it. <i>[Ditto. Especially the flag nonsense which was jut running around going 'wheee' - Rad]</i> (Another reason that I don't like couple's choice: the utter vagueness of the genre distinctions). Anyway, there's a lot of wafting bedsheets around before we get into the actual street section, most of which is decent, but Nicola's movements aren't quite as sharp as Katya's so it looks a little lopsided. </p><p>Tess says it was so uplifting and gave her goosepimples (or maybe all that waving sheets around made it draughty in the studio?). Shirley loved all the tiny details in there and thought the choreography was brilliant. She thought Nicola really embraced the moment and kept up with Katya throughout, and she liked that Nicola had perpetual awareness of where Katya was. Motsi enjoyed the sincerity of it and the fact that Nicola really relaxed and let go, but Nicola could be a bit softer in parts because it would make for a more interesting contrast. Craig agrees: he thinks it really suited Nicola because it's "earthy" (...okay) and he loved the storytelling in there.</p><p>Up on the Clauditorium, Nicola thanks everyone for supporting her in her journey and believing in her dreams. Also, this was Katya's first Couple's Choice (something I found really surprising, which I think speaks a great deal to the sort of choreography that Katya turns out on a regular basis). Scores: Craig 8, Shirley 8, Motsi 8 for a total of 24, three points up on last week and a total of 45.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Caroline & Johannes</u></h4><p>Our penultimate couple of the night are Caroline and Johannes. As they'd been left this close to the end I'd been assuming they would get the pimp slot, so now I'm <i>really </i>intrigued to see what Jason and Luba have got up their sleeves. Last week was a bit of a blur for Caroline (probably through all the tears), and this week she's got a paso doble. Caroline is very excited about it, and says that remembering the steps is taxing in itself, never mind managing to be sexy and dramatic at the same time. Johannes, on the other hand, absolutely believes Caroline has the inner fire to pull this off. He tells Caroline he wants her to be a professional dancer by the end of the season, and Caroline giggles that he wants her to be a professional dancer by the end of the day, but it won't be happening.</p><p>To the dancefloor! They're dancing to 'El Gato Montés' - previously used by Dominic Littlewood, Ali Bastian, Natalie Gumede and Tameka Empson. Johannes is in a purple velvet matador outfit with red stockings, and honestly, I'm living for it. Caroline, to my great delight, is giving it the full ham and eggs treatment, though the frame is a little looser than I would like. On the drama front, though? Absolutely delivering, just as I hoped she would.</p><p>Caroline manages not to cry this time, and Motsi says she loves the way Caroline used her hands - she loved how she got right down into it. It was a little bit careful, though - Motsi thinks Caroline has it in her to deliver more shapes and exaggerate everything. I'll say. Craig agrees that it was a bit too placed and polite - you need to really attack the paso - but she has all the facility to deliver it and he loved the Spanish port de bras. Shirley thought it was an intermediate level paso with nice shaping, but tells Caroline she won't ever look bad whatever she does - she's graceful and charming - but she needs to come out of her comfort zone, and ignite that inner fire that Johannes was talking about earlier.</p><p>Caroline and Johannes giggle up the steps to the Clauditorium, and Caroline says she was really looking forward to doing this, but it's much harder than it looks on the telly. Caroline's husband and son are in the audience, although weirdly just as they appear on the screen next to Claudia, the director cuts to a two-shot of Caroline and Johannes and stays there, so we don't actually <i>see </i>Caroline's family. Very odd. Anyway, Caroline says her son is used to seeing her do all sorts. Johannes loved every minute of it, and tells Caroline that it was beautiful. Hooray! Scores: Craig 7, Shirley 7, Motsi 7 for a total of 21 - same as last week, and a total of 42.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Jason & Luba</u></h4><p>Our final couple are, by process of elimination, Jason and Luba. This week they are dancing a salsa to 'Get Lucky', which Jason is excited about because it was his summer jam that one time. Luba arranges a video call with Jason's sister Melissa and his mom Geri. He tells his mom that he's excited for this dance, but that he misses her - Jason explains that the original plan would have been for his mom to be in the country for this and go through this whole experience with him but, y'know, Covid and that. But seeing her gave him a boost, and his mom enjoys watching him and Luba do a run through.</p><p>So, yes, let's address the outfits: Jason and Luba are in a luminous shade of citrus, somewhere between lemon and lime, and I'm not saying it's bright but everyone in the audience who has transition lenses on their glasses is now definitely in summer mode. <i>[Haha I love that colour, but that's just me, it's always 1989 in my heart - Rad] </i>Jason's clearly having a lot of fun with this routine, although I think he's dancing with a bit too much wild abandon - the same problem he had last week. If he sticks around for a bit, I think Luba needs to work on just getting him to calm down a bit. The choreography is a bit too much of the "celebrity stands still for a bit while the professional does some showcasey bits" for my liking, and the pot-stirrer that they do at the very end goes awry - again, I think, because Jason just got carried away with enthusiasm and spun Luba so hard that she toppled over. She styles it out, though.</p><p>Jason tells Tess he's having the time of his life, and Craig tells him that his hips weren't - it was very square and his feet were too far apart. It lacked the necessary fluidity, but Craig thought the energy and performance that Jason brought were brilliant. Shirley, of course, is the queen of the pot stirrer and appreciated having that thrown in, but has to note of course that it went wrong, however well Luba covered it up. She thought it lacked fluidity, but made up for it in energy - he's got the hang of the pumping moves, but he needs to learn to rotate his hips. Motsi wraps things up by saying she can clearly see which steps Jason loves because there's a real difference in energy there, so he needs to try to even it out a bit - but she loved that Jason had enough energy to match Luba.</p><p>In the Clauditorium, Jason tells Claudia there was a lot of pressure going on last, but he loved every second. He adds that Luba is a great coach who pushes him really hard like a good coach. Jason waves to his daughter Anaíya, and says that he loves his mom so much. Claudia asks him how he feels about the looming elimination, and Jason says it's an unbelievable journey and he wants to stay for as long as he can. Scores: Craig 6, Shirley 6, Motsi 6 for a total of 18 - two points up on last week, and a total of 34.</p><p>So here's that combined leaderboard, then, with added position shifts from last week in brackets:<br />1=. Maisie & Gorka - 24 + 25 = 49 (+1)<br />1=. HRVY & Janette - 25 + 24 = 49 (no change)<br />3. Nicola & Katya - 21 + 24 = 45 (no change)<br />4=. Ranvir & Giovanni - 21 + 21 = 42 (-1)<br />4=. Caroline & Johannes - 21 + 21 = 42 (-1)<br />6. Bill & Oti - 15 + 24 = 39 (+4)<br />7. Max & Dianne - 17 + 20 = 38 (+1)<br />8. JJ & Amy - 19 + 17 = 36 (-2)<br />9. Clara & Aljaž - 18 + 17 = 35 (-2)<br />10. Jason & Luba - 16 + 18 = 34 (-1)<br />11. Jamie & Karen - 14 + 17 = 31 (no change)<br />12. Jacqui & Anton - 13 + 12 = 25 (no change)</p><p>So, other than the incredible transformation of Bill Bailey dislodging JJ and Clara, not a huge amount of movement there. People who could be in danger: any of Clara, Jason, Jamie and Jacqui, depending on how strong the Anton vote is this year, or how many people vote for politilols. (I debated including JJ in the danger zone, but I think he's got enough of an inspirational narrative and all the people below him are people I could conceivably see him beating in a public vote, so I don't think he's in any danger just yet.) <i>[I could easily see Jamie vs Jason - Rad]</i></p><p>Claudia opens the vote, but says it's not the same without Janette there dancing a conga at her feet. We get the obligatory recap of all the dances, and one last encouragement to vote. Tomorrow night (well, tonight at this point), two couples face the first dance-off of the series, we'll hear from Bruno <i>and </i>from Sam Smith, and there'll be a Hallowe'eny pro dance. Be sure to join us for it!</p>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-83123331265756511582020-10-31T16:06:00.001+00:002020-11-01T10:26:39.136+00:00This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...<h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Monday</u></h4><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Rylan is now a robot (sort of).</li><li>This year, Zoe is going to do Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and Rylan will be Thursdays and Fridays.</li><li>Zoe has some natty new specs.</li><li>Oti was not ready for what Bill brought on Saturday.</li><li>Bill wants to do the show properly rather than just being a Komedy Kontestant.</li><li>Bill has had a lot of comments about his golden trousers.</li><li>Bill's arms have been so destroyed by training that he couldn't lift a cup of tea to his lips.</li><li>This week Bill and Oti are dancing a quickstep with a Doctor Doolittle vibe to it.</li><li>Bill thinks Craig is the prophet of dance, or "Nostradanceus".</li><li>David Baddiel is team Bill.</li><li>HRVY's mum has an eye for a natty jumper.</li><li>HRVY had nightmares about falling over.</li><li>HRVY threw up after the dress rehearsal.</li><li>Janette is making sure HRVY gets his vitamins.</li><li>HRVY is an Ariana Grande stan.</li><li>Zoe would like everyone to remember she got 9s in week one.</li><li>This week HRVY and Janette are doing a Viennese waltz.</li><li>Clare Balding thinks this might have been the best first week ever.</li><li>Katya's brain exploded when she realised she didn't have to stick to the normal rules this year.</li><li>There's quite a lot of crossover between boxing footwork and quickstep footwork.</li><li>Boxing has made Nicola's shoulders very tight and closed in.</li><li>Katya was <i>very </i>chatty during the quickstep performance.</li><li>Nicola and Katya are doing the first Couple's Choice of the series, and it's street dance.</li><li>No singing is allowed in the studio for obvious reasons.</li></ul><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u><span><a name='more'></a></span>Tuesday</u></h4><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li> Natalie Lowe's baby Jack is very cute and sleeps for 14 hours, but she doesn't want that to be widely known (sorry Natalie).</li><li>Natalie thinks HRVY led Janette like a pro, but he was a little bit flat-footed in places and she thinks we'll be seeing that jive again before the series is over.</li><li>Jacqui was a bit straight-legged, but Natalie thinks she did well considering they threw props at her in week one.</li><li>Natalie thinks Bill is "fun fun fun", but not technically amazing.</li><li>Natalie expects big things from Nicola, but needs her to lighten her frame.</li><li>Max's head was encroaching on Dianne's face space during the tango.</li><li>Which seems like the shadiest way of saying he has a big head, no?</li><li>Jamie and Karen have got into face masks.</li><li>Caroline wasn't expecting the judges to be as generous with their praise as they were.</li><li>Caroline burst into tears when Motsi said "I didn't see a dancer" and almost didn't hear her say "I saw a dancing queen".</li><li>Gaby Roslin wants Caroline to win.</li><li>Zoe thinks Roslin is fickle so she might change allegiance.</li><li>This week Caroline and Johannes are doing a paso doble to 'El Gato Montes'. She thinks she's really going to enjoy it.</li><li>Caroline thinks you can either do the Paso 'really annoyed' or 'cross and sexy' and she's into the latter.</li><li>Natalie thinks Gorka threw 'everything and the kitchen sink' at Maisie.</li><li>Natalie is a big fan of Johannes, legends stan legends.</li><li>Clara had a few heel leads in her cha cha cha, which are a no-no, lest we forget.</li><li>Natalie thinks Jason's ballroom frame was the best ballroom she saw on the night.</li><li>Natalie agrees with Shirley that Ranvir is the most improved since the launch show.</li><li>She was especially impressed with the skirtography.</li><li>Apparently Karen told Jamie that he wasn't on show in those tight white trousers. Having watched the show back, he disagrees.</li><li>Jamie describe his genitalia as his 'religion' and Zoe thinks they're 'phenomenal'.</li><li>Jamie messed up the first steps of his cha cha cha and likens the experience to knowing you've failed your driving test at the very beginning but still having to see the entire thing through.</li><li>Everyone keeps telling Jamie he messed up because he was the first dance of the</li><li>Jamie keeps getting distracted by how great a dancer Karen is.</li><li>This week Jamie and Karen have an American smooth to 'Night And Day' by Frank Sinatra. </li><li>In training this week Karen has been telling Jamie to be "light but grounded" and he is finding that very confusing.</li></ul></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Wednesday</u></h4><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>According to Luba, you would think sportsmen would be strong but they are weak. </li><li>Jason needs more breaks than Luba would like.</li><li>Jason refers to the training room as the "laboratory".</li><li>Jason's daughter is super-cute and loves dancing.</li><li>Jason and Luba are doing a salsa to 'Get Lucky' this weekend.</li><li>Ian Waite's mum is obsessed with Jason.</li><li>Jason's pixellated 'enjoyment' face looks like Leatherface from the <i>Texas Chainsaw Massacre.</i></li><li>Ranvir and Giovanni are doing a quickstep this weekend and Ian is very impressed with her footwork and body contact, but thinks she needs to stretch more.</li><li>Ian is digging Jamie's tight trousers.</li><li>JJ and Amy are doing a paso this week and he's got nice heel leads.</li><li>Maisie and Gorka are doing a tango, and Ian would like to see her get more down in the knees.</li><li>Max and Dianne are doing a jive, and Ian thinks it's looking good.</li><li>Max is not used to how live TV works.</li><li>Some of the pictures from Max's "photoshoot" with Dianne behind the camera are not hugely flattering.</li><li>The show is still trying to sell the narrative that members of The Wanted can't dance.</li><li>Max and Dianne are dancing to 'I'm a Believer'. No word yet on if he'll be dressed as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATJIG1vtg7" target="_blank">Shrek</a>.</li><li>HRVY's ringer powers are still in action in ballroom.</li><li>Nicola is slightly behind Katya in the training footage for her street/commercial dance.</li><li>Jacqui and Anton have got a samba.</li><li>It's very hard for Ian to demo how to do the steps properly and still stay 2m away from Zoe.</li><li>Ian's a bit in love with Caroline.</li><li>Caroline's paso doble is missing a lot of heel leads at the moment.</li><li>Bill's quickstep has a lot of changes of rhythm.</li><li>Clara and Aljaž are doing a Viennese waltz and she needs to learn to drive forward a little bit more.</li><li>Clara has good taste in suits.</li><li>Aljaž is still obsessed with the caption that he gets on his name chyron.</li><li>Aljaž is a bit bitter about the '5' they got but has decided it's Craig counting them in with a 5, 6, 7, 8.</li><li>Jameela Jamil is backing Clara to win the series. Oh well, never mind, eh?</li><li>Clara spent most of Sunday in an adrenaline comedown. </li><li>Clara still doesn't like wearing heels.</li></ul></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Thursday</u></h4><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Rylan only does shows with numbers in them now: <i>The One Show</i>, <i>It Takes Two</i>, <i>Supermarket Sw33p</i>, <i>Ready Steady C00k, What Not 2 Wear</i>...</li><li>JJ thinks putting a character on for a dance is like putting a uniform on in the military.</li><li>JJ is used to slumping his right side because his arm hurts, so dancing is fixing his posture.</li><li>JJ and Amy will be dancing to 'Believer'.</li><li>Amy thinks it's JJ's military background that makes him think nothing is ever good enough - but she likes that.</li><li>Oti has devised a "shame frame" for Bill that she attaches to him to sort his posture out.</li><li>Vicky Gill's job is harder this year because she can't get close enough to the celebs to get the exact shape of silhouette they might want.</li><li>Luba has three layers of skirt for her samba.</li><li>Vicky Gill is not normally a fan of the colour 'tropic lime'.</li><li>Rylan is anticipating Caroline touching the divine again this week.</li><li>Jacqui had a moment after her dance where she couldn't remember anything about it. Lucky her.</li><li>Rylan will happily take a 'pow pow woof'.</li><li>There's going to be some shouting in Jacqui's samba. Possibly from me, in agony.</li><li>Anton's samba that he's put together for Jacqui is his favourite samba he's ever done on the show. And with such stiff competition!</li><li>He says it's 'pure out of the box samba' and I feel like we've heard that from him before.</li><li>Rylan reminds you not to call Ofcom when the pairs kiss and cuddle because they're in bubbles.</li><li>Maisie really enjoyed the samba and ideally would just like to do that every week.</li><li>Maisie is going through a box of plasters a day because she hasn't worn heels since 2019, and her feet can't handle it any more.</li><li>Natalie Cassidy has been sending Maisie a lot of messages.</li><li>Maisie is trying to downplay being a ringer because she hasn't been 'dancing for 20 years' (as she's only 19).</li><li>Maisie is having trouble stopping smiling in the tango.</li></ul></div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Friday</u></h4><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Jamie will be descending from the sky on a moon for his dance tomorrow. He hates heights and is not excited about it.</li><li>HRVY and Janette will be dancing under some Halloweenesque green lighting.</li><li>This week's Friday panel is Michelle Visage, Jenny Ryan and Gaby Roslin. Apparently Jenny has been petitioning the BBC to be on the Friday panel for years - and to think we had to put up with Rufus Hound all those times.</li><li>Michelle has been hanging out with Alex Scott and Dr Ranj, and she's still having dance lessons.</li><li>Michelle wears a facemask with fringing all over it.</li><li>Gaby cried at the opening episode.</li><li>Gaby doesn't look at the feet, just the face.</li><li>Jenny thinks it's too soon for Couple's Choice. (It's always too soon for Couple's Choice tbh.)</li><li>Gaby thinks Max is 'a delight to watch'.</li><li>This week's pro dance sees Janette playing a little girl in a scary fairground and Luba playing the fortune teller.</li><li>Ranvir thought she did alright on the launch show. Clearly she hasn't watched it.</li><li>Michelle and Ranvir are already arranging some sort of First Wives' Club WhatsApp where they talk about Giovanni.</li><li>Giovanni gives you no choice in how you perform.</li><li>PRS MRGN blames Charlotte Hawkins for Brendan leaving the show.</li><li>Ranvir is getting the hang of gliding into the movements when Giovanni counts in "seven-eight".</li><li>The set design crew now have to start work on everything nine days earlier because they're not allowed to have as many people in the studio so everything takes longer.</li><li>If you like leaves and flowers, Saturday's show is for you.</li><li>Jenny thinks Jamie's been overthinking things over the past year and it's impacting his dancing.</li><li>Michelle, Jenny and Gaby all think Jacqui and Anton are going home.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095072873847769932.post-85738630660469567632020-10-25T15:32:00.006+00:002020-11-02T18:40:34.939+00:00DRTY RNGH<p> <b>Week 1: 12 Couples Perform - 25 October 2020</b></p><p>Okay, here we go. We've got celebs, we've got professionals, we've got enhanced Covid security measures, now it's time to get down to business: it's the first live show of 2020! Also, this is going to be a fun recap to write because every so often one key on my laptop decides to become really sticky and unresponsive, and today it's the turn of the space bar! Because, y'know, I never need that one.</p><p><span></span></p><a name='more'></a>We open with a more muted montage than you might expect for the start of the series, but it's pretty on-brand for 2020 I suppose. Maisie walks to the camera while removing her gold quilted jacket, thereby shedding the mantle of Tiffany Butcher-Baker (it's very deep) and saying that stepping into the world of Strictly is surreal, and she still can't believe she's going to be stepping onto that stage tonight. As she says this, the screen wipes to reveal Strictly Maisie, just so we get a full idea of the transition involved here. Likewise, JJ is in his civvies and waving a Union flag saying that he thinks he's becoming a dancer, as he transitions into Strictly JJ in a paso outfit. Ranvir announces that she's used to performing live (/struggling to get a word in edgewise while Piers Morgan rants about vegan bacon or something) but it's normally standing still and speaking, whereas this will be the opposite. For some reason, she doesn't so much get a transition-fade as she just... removes her coat and goes from outdoors to indoors, but it's probably too early in the series to read anything into that. <p></p><p>Nicola next, and she<i> </i>gets a transition from boxing training to dance training as she talks about how much she's loving it. Jamie also gets a before/after switcheroo and talks about how he's out of his comfort zone but completely out of his comfort zone. Clara gets a <i>split-screen</i>, no-less, as she talks about how it is all scary but fun, and Max gets a slide-wipe as we see him getting a spray tan and talking about how it's getting very real now. Jacqui talks about how it's hard to imagine anything more different from the House of Commons (presumably because nobody at Strictly voted to starve the nation's children this week), Bill goes from The Comedy Store to the dancefloor as he talks about how he's always up for a new challenge, HRVY gs frm tkng slf n th trnng rm t tkng slf n th Strctly std (sch trnsfrmtn) (don't worry, I'm not going to do the no-vowels gag for the entire recap, I don't want it to be completely incoherent) (well, no more than usual), Caroline says it's opened her eyes to a whole new world (and seems to have been wearing more make-up in the before shot than in the after shot, but I suppose that's showbiz for you), Jason goes from catching an American football to brandishing the glitterball and says that he's ready for the glitter and the sparkle. It's exactly what he wanted, so let's go.</p><p>All-new titles! The celebs appear in the following order: Clara and Aljaž high-fiving each other, Karen twirling into Jamie's arms as he catches her and sort of shrugs, Ranvir appearing from behind Giovanni and twirling into his arms (sensing a theme here), HRVY pretending to catch Janette on a fishing line and reel her in, Maisie twirling into Gorka's arms and giving him a "this one, eh, what is he like?" sort of head-tilt, Jacqui and Anton doing a little spin and looking like neither one of them particularly wants to be there, Dianne twirling into Max's arms, Oti standing on her own before Bill jumps in to block her from the camera, Nicola and Katya doing fist-pumps, Jason dipping Luba, Amy twirling into JJ's arms, Caroline kicking a leg up and miming a faint at the sheer presence of Johannes (icons, the pair of them, hope they win), and a little "also featuring!" segment of Nadiya, Graziano, Neil and Nancy as the logo leaps into view. In honour of the much-missed <a href="https://monkseal.wordpress.com/">Monkseal</a>, allow me to inform you that this year, the hos are HRVY and Caroline. (And as sad as I am that Monkseal has hung up his blogging shoes, I am quite glad to have my husband back this autumn rather than barely seeing him from Sundays to Tuesdays.)</p><p>We open with a pro-dance to 'When I Get You Alone' by Robin Thicke (and as the sample of 'A Fifth Of Beethoven' has prompted me, if you haven't watched <i>Mrs America</i> yet, you simply must. It's still on <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/p08ggcmd/mrs-america">iPlayer</a>, go, go! After you've finished reading this, obviously.) Because all of this year's were recorded in one fell swoop earlier this year to allow the pros to domestically bubble together, there will be some particularly jarring haircut transitions tonight, most notably Johannes and Giovanni. I'm very here for blond Gorka, though. It's almost enough to make me forget his hideous back tattoo. <i>Almost</i>. The music then switches into 'Familiar' by Liam Payne and J Balvin, then into a song that I definitely recognise but can't remember the title of but it's that one that goes "una cerveza, por favor" in the lyrics, then into 'Hips Don't Lie' - and fans of same-sex couples might like to know that Gorka and Johannes are dancing together in this section and the chemistry between them is <i>electric</i>, more of that please. There is another snatch of a song I don't recognise and am unable to google the lyrics to, and then a smattering of 'La Vida Es Un Carnival' (the song that Kelvin did his samba to last year), and then we end with a whole lot of booty-shaking. Well, that was a lovely start to the series. I'm so glad this show is back.</p><p>Tess and Claudia arrive - for Daly Dresswatch we have a black sequinned jumpsuit that's off one shoulder, and for What Winkleman's Wearing, a black dress with silver sequins and a heart-shaped bustline. They both look fab, well done everyone. <i>[They did - Claudia's dress in particular was beautiful - Rad] </i>They remain socially distanced, of course (still sad they couldn't bubble together for the series, I bet that would have been fun). Tess reminds us that the pro dance was recorded earlier this year when the pros all became one household in order to record a whole series' worth of group numbers, just in case anyone was halfway through calling Ofcom and Public Health England at the same time. Claudia tells us we can go to the website to find out more about how they're making the show this year, and Tess tells us that in the smaller, socially distanced audience tonight, they've invited some of our amazing frontline workers, and I look forward to seeing numerous comments on Twitter about how Covid-19 is clearly a hoax if NHS workers can take time off to go and watch Strictly, honestly nuke this country from space, it's the only way to fix things.</p><p>We welcome the judges: Shirley, Motsi and Craig, who all just shimmy in to sit at their separate desks and sit down in synchronisation at the end of their musical intro. Claudia explains that there's no Bruno because he's busy tanning in LA, but he'll be joining us via video link in the results show every week to offer his feedback - and there's also a suggestion that he might be able to rejoin them later in the series, presumably when <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>finishes, although that's all hugely rona-dependent, I imagine. Anyway, given that Bruno can barely identify the contestants when he's actually in the studio most years, the whole video-link thing should be interesting. I look forward to hearing his thoughts on Carla, Mack, Will, Nicole, HRRY and all his other favourites.</p><p>Time to meet our Strictly stars: actress Caroline Quentin and her partner Johannes Radebe, singer Max George and his partner Dianne Buswell, Radio 1 DJ Clara Amfo and her partner Aljaž Škorjanec, TV presenter JJ Chalmers and his partner Amy Dowden, from <i>EastEnders</i> Maisie Smith and her partner Gorka Márquez, NFL star Jason Bell and his partner Luba Mushtuk, news broadcaster Ranvir Singh and her partner Giovanni Pernice, TV personality Jamie Laing and his partner Karen Hauer (also poor Jamie, who appears to have a water stain on his white trousers, not a great first impression), former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith and her partner Anton Du Beke, pop star HRVY and his partner JNTT MNRR, Olympic boxer Nicola Adams and her partner Katya Jones, and finally comedian Bill Bailey and his partner Oti Mabuse. Some excellent shimmying from Gorka and Maisie during the last few bars of the music, and Luba keeps the high-kick on the final sting alive.</p><p>Claudia reminds us that each couple has formed a bubble and will be tested throughout the series, and then we get to the admin: no public vote tonight, but the judges' scores will be carried over to next week's total.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Jamie & Karen</u></h4><p>Opening the series, it's Jamie and Karen. In his VT, Jamie tells us that he's the first person ever to be invited back for a second year because he hurt his foot in the launch show last year (and got replaced by Kelvin Fletcher, who went on to win the whole thing, though he leaves that bit out). He's very excited to be partnered with Karen, not least because they share the same hairstylist, apparently. Karen tells us that she's strict but supportive. Jamie asks if she's happy to be partnered with him, and she says yes: she thinks Jamie has a lot of potential, and he's fun, and those are great ingredients for a performer - but she'll still have to see what the feet are doing. "You just unconvinced yourself!" Jamie protests.</p><p>In training, they're working on the cha cha cha, which Jamie frets is a hard one, and Karen kind of scoffs at the very idea, rightly so. She insists it's "very you", anyway. She says that the first day's training proves they have a lot of work today. Jamies says he's been waiting a whole year to get into training, and now he's here, he's feeling the pressure. Karen tells him that he's throwing himself into it and having fun - there's nothing to worry about. Jamie counters that there's lots to worry about: the steps, the posture, performing live... - it's intimidating and scary but also a little bit exciting.</p><p>They're dancing to 'Think About Things' by Da∂i og Gagnamandi∂, aka the song that everyone thinks would have won <i>Eurovision </i>this year if the whole thing hadn't been rona-ed off. Jamie has a keytar <i>[I am here for these two being all 80s synthpop vibes all the way - Rad],</i> which he mimes playing along to, and he has to start dancing by himself, which he's clearly very nervous about - it's not a gamble that entirely pays off as the nerves seem to get to him, and he's not quite on the beat when he gets going. Once Karen joins him, he seems to settle down a bit and find his confidence, though he's obviously more comfortable in the bits where he gets to do some freestyle booty-shaking than in the actual technical cha cha cha elements. It ends a lot better than it began, and there's some hope there, I think. It's not bad for an opening gambit in this strangest of years, anyway.</p><p>Jamie and Karen stand a rona-resistant distance from Tess as Jamie declares the whole thing "terrifying" but the best thing he's ever done, and Tess thanks Dave Arch, the wunnerful singers and socially distanced orchestra for their work (incidentally, 'Think About Things' is not a song that was particularly in the range of the singers but they did their best). Shirley says that Jamie has definitely arrived and gave a "very nice performance", "full of enthusiasm", and he shows potential "to have an outstanding wiggly, rhythmical lower half" - but he needs to work on the quality of how he moves from foot to foot and his lines overall. She liked the disco element though. Motsi tells Jamie that she's never seen anyone want to dance as much as Jamie did right there - she thought he had a lot of fun with the freestyling, and tells him to work on the technique - it might be boring at the beginning but it pays off at the end. Craig declares it "flat-footed" and "stiff of hip", with arms that were "totally wild". Also, he could see Jamie counting the numbers the whole way through - but he loved the energy, and he thought Jamie's commitment was amazing. </p><p>There's a slight change in the journey to the Clauditorium this year: we do still see the couple run up the stairs but then we cut to a very quick <i>Dancing On Ice</i>-style highlights montage (presumably to screen over the awkward social distancing part of them arriving in the Clauditorium and carefully bypassing Claudia and the crew at a safe distance). The Clauditorium is a lonely space this year as the rest of the dancers can't be there, and Jamie tells Claudia that he had to go to the bathroom before the show and he thought he was going to throw up, and then he gagged a bit but he was fine. Claudia thanks him for "those details". Karen says that Jamie is so positive, and they're just grateful to be here doing <i>Strictly </i>right now. Amen, my love. Scores: Craig 4, Shirley 5, Motsi 5 for a total of 14. It's going to be quite hard to recalibrate my idea of what a good score is this year when it's out of 30 rather than 40. Jamie points out that they are "in the lead". Claudia congratulates him on finally being on the <i>Strictly </i>leaderboard after a long wait. (Remember how there used to be the whole thing that being the one to open the series meant you'd go on to be in the final? Well, the last person who that was true for was...Kellie Bright, five years ago.)</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Caroline & Johannes</u></h4><p>Caroline and Johannes get the first death slot of the series (although whether it's really a death slot on a show where there's no public vote is up for debate, in many ways it's probably good to go second on the opening show because it means you probably won't have to go second on the shows where there <i>is </i>a public vote for a good long while). Tess tells us that Caroline longed to be a dancer as a child, and tonight her childhood dream is about to come true. Caroline says in her VT that doing <i>Strictly </i>is very different from anything she's ever done, and the great thing is that she doesn't have any lines to learn - just dance steps. She tells that she loves Johannes - he's so funny and patient and kind, and she can't wait to start dancing with him. They start training for their American smooth, and it seems to be going well, but Caroline says that she's feeling a bit overwhelmed and asks for a two-minute break. She has a little cry on the floor because she's so happy, and honestly, as someone who has spent the last seven months crying at even the slightest wobble in my emotional spectrum, good or bad, I <i>relate</i> to this. Johannes tells Caroline that they're going to get through this, and Caroline sobs that she loves dancing. Their routine is based around a railway station, so they sit on a train to film part of their VT. Johannes tells Caroline that he is beaming with pride because what she's done is absolutely amazing - Caroline says that she's very happy, but she's not going to cry this time.</p><p>An augmented reality train (we're going to get a lot of that sort of thing this year apparently) passes across the screen to open the routine as the band strikes up 'Morning Train (9 to 5)' by Sheena Easton - a <i>tune</i>, if I may say so. I'm not a big fan of the fifties-style floral yellow dress they've put Caroline in as I think the colouring is all wrong for her, but the good news is that the dancing is much better than the outfit. There's some gapping, as is only to be expected at this early stage, but she's got good rhythm, natural grace and some lovely lines - and it's clear that she trusts Johannes completely, which is a very good sign. Another augmented reality train arrives to end the routine as they wave at the camera. </p><p>Caroline gets tearful again and says that it's very enjoyable and frightening all at the same time. Tess asks Motsi if she saw a dancer tonight, and Motsi says she didn't see a dancer - she saw a <i>dancing queen</i>. She saw great attention to detail in Caroline's frame, her feet closing together, her fingers, and bringing the dance to life. She thought it was really beautiful - and that sets Caroline off crying. Craig tells her to watch that she doesn't turn her feet out too much when she's in hold ("I know!" sobs Caroline) but the musicality was a sensation, and the finish on the arms and hands was lovely, causing more happy tears from Caroline. Shirley tells Caroline that she's going to bring joy to millions, and she's waited a lifetime to see a performance like this where someone feels what the other dancer is doing - Caroline is graceful, elegant, charming and has exquisite timing in the upper half of the body. The lower half still needs some work, but Caroline did herself proud. Tess tells Caroline that she wishes she could give her a hug. Aww. <i>[Honestly, Caroline's emotional breakdown. She's practically touching the divine and it's WEEK ONE. I can't wait to see how that ramps up - Rad]</i></p><p>They head up to the Clauditorium as Caroline wipes her eyes, and Caroline tells Claudia that she thinks that was one of the best times she's done that routine, so a lot of the tears are tears of relief. She says that the professionals make it look so easy, and you don't know how hard it is - every single bit of you has to be working all the time. Caroline's husband and daughter are in the audience and were screaming encouragement throughout the series. Scores: Craig 7, Shirley 7, Motsi 7 for a total of 21. Caroline and Johannes are thrilled with that score. "It's my age as well, which is brilliant," chuckles Caroline. Johannes gives us a tease of the exquisite dances that still await us tonight, and honestly give this man a presenting job immediately.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Max & Dianne</u></h4><p>Max and Dianne are our third couple of the night, dancing a tango. In his VT, Max says that he's best known for being one-fifth of The Wanted, but not the one-fifth that already won this show back in 2015. He says that music has been a massive part of his life since he was 17 and moved to London and tried to become a singer (emphasis on "tried"?), and now he's going to be a dancer. Dianne describes him as very chill, but slightly nervous at times. Max vows to bring his A-game, and Dianne attempts to coin "Diannemax" as a team name, I think? Max says that he's struggling with the frame and pointing his head in the right direction, but he's really enjoying it - doing the tango makes him smile, which he isn't actually supposed to do. Dianne explains that the theme is that Max is a model and she's the photographer, so they do a mock photo shoot to get in the mood. She shows Max some Polaroids of his various attempts at tango posture and where he needs to improve and that...actually seems like quite a good idea? Well done Dianne.</p><p>They're dancing to 'Best Fake Smile' by James Bay. It's a pretty good attempt, I think - there's a bit too much softness in Max's frame and in his movement generally, and I think he's still a bit too much in his head to really interact with Dianne as a partner, but he's got the moves down and he has a good sense of rhythm. It's another promising start, I reckon. <i>[His face bothered me too much, he looked like a puffer fish - Rad]</i></p><p>Craig says that he would have like to have seen more of a V-shape in the frame in the ballroom part of the tango, but the A-frame that he did for the Argentine tango section was cool. The changes of direction need to be clearer because he hasn't got the hang of leadership, but he's very watchable and left Craig wanting more. Shirley tells him it was a fierce tango - the first wall and across the short wall was great. Max has a lot of potential, but she would have liked a traditional tango where they didn't break hold - his hold was actually really very good. Motsi think he has potential - but she felt Max was thinking during the dance, and that keeps your energy inside, so he needs to project further away and also lift himself up and allow it all to come out in his face.</p><p>In the Clauditorium, Max says he's still not sure he knows what a tango is, but it's done now. He says he was a little bit nervous, and Dianne's like "a <i>little</i> bit, are you fucking kidding me". She says she's very impressed with him for how well he did. Max says it was hard to keep his facial expression constant because he kept wanting to react when he got a step right, bless him. Scores: Craig 6, Shirley 5, Motsi 6 for a total of 17. Max and Dianne are happy with that.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Clara & Aljaž</u></h4><p>Clara and Aljaž are up next, and Tess reminds us that Clara lives in her trainers, but presumably not in the same way as the old woman who lived in a shoe. In her VT, Clara says she doesn't think people realise how geeked out she is to be here. I dunno, hon, you have mentioned it quite a few times, I think we get it now. She's delighted to be partnered with Aljaž, as any sensible person would be. Aljaž says it's important to push your celebrity, because otherwise they'll never know how much they could have learned. Clara hopes that we'll see a lot of fun from her on the dancefloor.</p><p>She's going to be dancing a cha cha cha to 'Don't Start Now' by Dua Lipa, and Clara is grinning the whole way through her training experience. Aljaž says he's very proud of her for all the progress she's made, and then they go up on a rooftop in Piccadilly Circus to get in the mood for their dance, which is set in the lights of the big city. Clara is so excited to get on the dancefloor, and frankly I'm excited to see it, so let's get on with it!</p><p>Like Jamie, Clara has to start the routine on her own, but unlike Jamie, she begins it with a projection of confidence and absolutely owns the room. I'm pleased to report that she makes a very strong opening gambit here - good rhythm, lovely leg work, strong lines, and some genuinely lovely chemistry with Aljaž - her free arm could be better, but for a first dance, this is impressive, aside from a slightly messy bit of freestyling in the middle. Clara was one of my favourite contestants on paper, so I'm thrilled she's delivering in practice too - I just hope she gets the votes because, well, let's not pretend that this competition has a history of being especially kind to black women on that front. </p><p>Shirley tells Clara that there isn't a part of her body that can't move, and she has great chemistry with Aljaž - she enjoyed the balance of disco and authentic cha cha, and the call-and-response section they had with each other at the end. Motsi saw determination in Clara - she needs to be more aware of what's happening in her body and her limbs, but it's a good, high-energy start. Tess reminds Clara that she said she was looking forward to being judged by Craig, who declares it "stompy" and says he thought she could do with straighter legs, but he loved the disco element and says that the beauty is she has time to improve.</p><p>Clara tells Claudia this is the most surreal moment of her life, like she has stepped inside the TV. Clara says that Dua Lipa is such an amazing artist, and it was great to dance to her music and to be taught by an "absolute don" like Aljaž. Claudia's like "yes yes we all love Aljaž but please don't change the subject because we got Dua Lipa to record a good luck message for you". Oh, but no message from Sheena Easton for Caroline? Rude. [<i>Dua Lipa and Sheena Easton to face off in a future series please - Rad] </i>Scores: Craig 5, Shirley 6, Motsi 7 for a total of 18. Undermarked? I think a little bit, yes.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Jacqui & Anton</u></h4><p>After a preview of what's to come, it's over to our next couple, Jacqui and Anton. Jacqui says that she's best known for being the UK's first female Home Secretary (and not, just to pluck an example out of thin air, for fiddling her expenses and 'accidentally' claiming reimbursement for a couple of pornos). She says she was so pleased to get Anton, and they've been laughing a lot. Anton says that he wants Jacqui's experience on Strictly to be loving every second of it. Yes, all (approximately) 691,200 seconds of it. Jacqui says that Anton will be her "partner in adventure". Or perhaps misadventure. They're doing a foxtrot to 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life' and Jacqui says again that Anton is teaching her through laughter. I always feel like whenever someone is <i>that </i>keen to tell you how much fun they're having, they're probably not having as much fun as they're making out? Inexplicably, Anton has decided to give her a hat and a cane to work with, despite <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHle_kkKdRA">his previous form</a> on that front. Let's see how that goes, shall we?</p><p>There's some business at the beginning about the Glitterball Party losing an election and lots of huffy, hammy acting from Jacqui. <i>[Hilarious how they dressed her in both red and blue in case someone called Ofcom for OMG BBC BIAS - Rad] </i>They decide to console themselves with a foxtrot, and it's...not great. Jacqui looks very tense, and they're not moving as a unit at all - she seems to alternate between trying to lead him, or getting dragged along when he tries to lead her. Even when they get into the hat business, she struggles to tip her hat in time with the music, and the fact that there's so little genuine foxtrot in this routine doesn't really fill me with confidence either.</p><p>When it ends, Anton goes into full Anton mode, asking if there's time for one more, telling Dave to go from the top, you've got to laugh haven't you, ha ha marvellous. Motsi tells Jacqui that she gets her vote - it's a long stretch from being a politician to being a dancer, and she looked comfortable on the floor (she did not), and now she needs to feel comfortable with expressing herself and opening up. Craig says it lacked musicality and was a bit lumpy, and she needs to double her energy - he thought it all got "very House of Common" (the <i>shade</i>) when she went over to get her hat and cane, because she walked over rather than dancing over. She needed to close her feet, but looking on the bright side - she's a better dancer than Theresa May. Shirley says that Jacqui's made a huge improvement since the launch show (lol) and that she's the celebrity with the least amount of showbiz experience. I dunno, you could tell me HRVY literally didn't exist until he was announced on 4 September this year and I'd have no reason not to believe you. Nonetheless, Shirley was "absolutely surprised" by how well Jacqui did.</p><div style="text-align: left;">Anton gives her the least sincere "good job!" I've ever heard in my life on the way to the Clauditorium, and Claudia prompts Jacqui to share her mantra, which is: "try hard, and look as if you're enjoying it." Jacqui insists she <i>was </i>enjoying it. She says she's got a long way to go, so she's trying to do her homework and train as hard as she can. Scores: Craig 3, Shirley 5, Motsi 5 for a total of 13. Anton says he's had worse scores than that with four judges, which is actually true.</div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>JJ & Amy</u></h4><p>JJ and Amy are next, taking us up to the halfway point (stay with us! We can do this!). In his VT, JJ says that he's best known for presenting sport and live events on TV and radio, and he was secretly hoping to get Amy because he thought she seemed like the loveliest person in the world. Aww. Amy says that sometimes her competitive side comes out (lol, "sometimes"), but it's always in an encouraging way. JJ's got the waltz first, which is the one dance he knows a bit about: he was meant to be coming home from Afghanistan for his brother's wedding and "Cass", his squad's medic in the Marines, had been a semi-professional dancer, so he asked "Cass" for a few lessons to impress his girlfriend (who he's since married). But after a week of practising, they were both injured in a bomb blast, which took Cass's leg off. As it happens, Cass turns out to be <i>The People's Strictly</i> champion Cassidy Little, so Amy arranges a video call for encouragement, and Cass tells him his dancing looks brilliant - he tells JJ that all he does is help people, and he deserves this. JJ says he wants to make his wife and Cassidy proud, but he also wants to make his brother proud, who will be in the audience and will get to see the dance that Cassidy would have done at his wedding - I mean, probably not this <i>exact</i> dance, but you get the gist.</p><p>They're dancing to 'What A Wonderful World', and it's all been very smartly designed by Amy to appeal to middle England as much as humanly possible. The routine is a little bit stilted and, like a lot of people tonight, JJ is definitely a little too much in his own head which is hampering his performance, but he does a decent job with this dance - though I suspect this might be about as good as he's going to get.</p><p>Craig says that JJ did the routine justice - he needed a bit more drive and a bit less gapping, and he needed to keep dancing when he was standing still, but it was simple and effective. Shirley loved what it all represented, and tells JJ that his frame and his shoulders in particular are magnificent and will be a big help to him in ballroom. She agrees with Craig that he needs to drive more on the standing foot, as that will help all of his ballroom dances, but this was simple and lovely. Motsi loved it and says she's getting a little emotional - not least because it's her dad's favourite song. She feels like they captured the important part of ballroom dancing - when everything else disappears and it's just about that couple in that moment. She thought it was "magical". </p><p>Up in the Clauditorium, JJ gets his glasses back and says he could never have imagined learning that routine, let alone getting to perform it on <i>Strictly</i> - it's a real privilege to experience. JJ's wife and daughter have recorded a little video message for him, and his daughter saying "HIYA DADDY I LIKE YOUR DANCING SO MUCH" is absolutely adorable. Also apparently this was Amy's first waltz on <i>Strictly</i>, and this was her granddad's favourite song too. Scores: Craig 6, Shirley 6, Motsi 7 for a total of 19. Claudia asks JJ if he's happy with that score, and JJ says he's just happy to be here, so of course he's happy with that.</p><p>Midway leaderboard time!</p><p>1. Caroline & Johannes - 21<br />2. JJ & Amy - 19<br />3. Clara & Aljaž - 18<br />4. Max & Dianne - 17<br />5. Jamie & Karen - 14<br />6. Jacqui & Anton - 13</p><p>It's interesting, the reduction to three judges rather than four means there's going to be much less of a gap between the top and the bottom of the leaderboard most weeks this year, I think.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Maisie & Gorka</u></h4><p>Onward now with Maisie and Gorka and a samba. In her VT, she tells us that she's best known as Tiffany in <i>EastEnders</i>, although we don't get shown any clips for some reason. She says that she loves to dance to anything: reggae, hip hop, pop, lift music. He's quite nervous to face the judges, but Gorka is the perfect partner. Gorka says he doesn't want to scare her, but they're going to have to work hard - they're starting at 7am and she can't be late. Aw, I'm so glad Gorka's back. Not only did I miss his obvious assets (ahem) last year, but I also just really missed the sound of his voice? They start and Maisie says she's tired already and Gorka despairs. Maisie finds the samba very hard, but she's having the best time, and she loves Gorka's training style, which is basically just a lot of clicking noises. She goes to try on her costume in the studio (on a mannequin which has been labelled "MAISE", oh dear) and she's very excited about it. She tells Gorka it's her dream dress, and it's perfection. Also she calls him "Gorks", which I love.</p><p>They're dancing to 'Samba (Conga)' by Gloria Estefan (essentially 'Conga' but with the word "conga" changed to "samba" throughout)<i> [Come on everybody baby do the samba, I know you can't control yourself any, er, lamba?! - Rad]</i>. Maisie is in a feathered pink dress and Gorka is in a pink shirt open to the waist and absurdly tight black trousers, oh Gorka's buttocks, how I have missed you. It's absolutely no surprise to any of us that Maisie is very, very good - this sort of dance was always going to play to her strengths and she's throwing herself into it with everything she has. Her face is a little intense in places, but she's strong and confident and she's always where she needs to be at the right moment. Again, this is a partnership where you can just see that the trust is already there, and that's such a strength at this early stage. </p><p>Everyone's on their feet (except Craig, not this early, not for anyone), and Shirley tells Maisie that she's brought some Brazil to the ballroom tonight - there are eight different timings in samba, and she brought them all. Motsi declares this "girl power" and says it was a start with a bang, and what she really loved was how all the shaking was so authentic. Craig says he was not up shaking it, and her batucadas need a lot of work, but the rest? Ah-may-zing. </p><p>Claudia says that we need to say a massive thank you to the wardrobe department for everyone's outfits tonight, and Gorka does a whole "oops, are my nipples on display, how terrible" thing. Claudia tells that Maisie has a notebook in training, and Gorka says he was really impressed that she wanted to take notes. Maisie's parents in the audience show us where she learned how to shake that moneymaker, and then it's time for the scores: eights all round for a total of 24, putting her at the top of the leaderboard.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Jason & Luba</u></h4><p>Jason and Luba next, with an American smooth to 'My Girl', which will be dedicated to his daughter Anaíya (whose mum is Nadine from Girls Aloud, just in case you didn't know). His earliest memory of dancing was in the living room with his parents and his sister - to anything that was hot in the late 80s and 90s. Jason thinks he's very lucky to have Luba for a partner, and she says that she is the lucky one. Jason says he likes two things about the dance already - "American" and "smooth". There are some lifts in it and he's nervous about them, because Luba is "precious cargo" when she is in the air. Luba says she won't be easy on him - she can see potential so she will push him as hard as she can. They've got some AR in their routine too, because it's set at a drive-in, so he has to be careful not to stand inside the fake cars. </p><p>It begins with quite a lot of dad dancing, and indeed it continues that way whenever they aren't in hold. When they are in hold, he's leaning forward a bit too much, but he does at least look like he's enjoying himself throughout and the lifts come off fairly well. There are moments where he shows potential - to be honest, I think his problem at this point is just an excess of adrenaline that he needs to control a little better.</p><p>Tess tells him that she's sure Anaíya is very proud of her daddy, and Motsi says she is going to call him "Jason Joy", because she could feel the joy through his face - she thought the hip hop style elements were very musical, but it was a bit of an awkward transition into the slow fox elements. Craig says he wasn't fond of the fusion side of it - he encourages everyone to take risks, but he thinks this one didn't pay off. Shirley thought his footwork was fantastic in one of the backwards sections, so he's got joy and potential - the sky is the limit.</p><p>In the Clauditorium, Jason explains that he yells at the top of his lungs to get himself into game mode. I bet that's delightful for everyone in the vicinity. Luba says that he doesn't get many breaks with her, and Claudia confirms that that is their team name: Team No Breaks. It's not the catchiest, I'll be honest. Scores: Craig 4, Shirley 6, Motsi 6 for a total of 16. What's quite fun about this year is that there's no mass audience booing when Craig lowballs someone, so literally all we got was a small sigh from Luba. Claudia reminds us that the scores look tiny because there's just one judge this year. Heh.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Ranvir & Giovanni</u></h4><p>A quick reminder of the four contestants we're still waiting on (Ranvir, Nicola, Bill and HRVY, just in case you'd lost track), in which we learn that HRVY likes to refer to himself as "your boy" (or possibly "yr by"), and then it's time for Ranvir and Giovanni. In her VT, Ranvir reminds us that she's the Political Editor of <i>Good Morning Britain</i>, as well as a panellist on <i>Loose Women </i>and a presenter on <i>ITV News</i>. What, no mention of <i>Eat, Shop, Save</i>? She's used to being rooted to the spot in Downing Street with a big coat on, so this is a big change. She's excited to have Giovanni as a partner having seen what he's brought out of his other partners. Giovanni tells her the important rules: "relax, listen to me, listen to me, and listen to me". </p><p>On their first day, Giovanni brings her flowers and then immediately tells her to go and get changed ready for paso practice. Giovanni tells us that Ranvir will have to start on her own, and that he believes in her more than she believes in herself. Ranvir says that the early mornings are taking their toll, and we get a glimpse of what a day in the life is like for her: her alarm goes off at 2:45am (!!!) and she has to drag herself into Television Centre ready to go on air at 6am. She says it's a challenge mentally, physically and emotionally - but they're still laughing. (Also can I apologise in advance if I ever slip up and call her "Ranbir", it's just that Ranbir is my neighbour's name and I keep forgetting who has the b and who has the v, and it's not made any easier by the fact that the two letters are right next to each other on the keyboard.)</p><p>They're dancing to 'End Of Time' by Beyoncé, and Ranvir makes a decent fist of opening the routine by herself, looking suitably haughty and swishing her frock like a good'un. Once they get into hold, she's a little bit too soft for my preference, but I like that she's definitely got a good paso face, and as far as I can tell her footwork seems to be nice and precise. There are a few parts where her energy dips a little bit, but in general I think it's a solid start for her - a good performance, some decent technique, with plenty of room to grow. </p><p>Craig tells her she used the dress like a diva drag queen and he loved it - the Spanish port de bras was great and he thought it was a fantastic first dance. Shirley says that Ranvir lived every moment of being that Spanish lady, and it shows that you can still be a superstar just doing basic steps. Motsi thinks that Ranvir is the most improved since the launch show <i>[agreed - Rad]</i>, and she's built a great foundation leaving herself space to grow.</p><p>In the Clauditorium, Claudia congratulates Ranvir on being left alone by Giovanni "for 10 minutes", and Ranvir says that she feels quite emotional because this is a dream come true. Ranvir adds that she's been practising with her son, who is very excited that his mum is on <i>Strictly</i>. Scores: Craig 7, Shirley 7, Motsi 7 for a total of 21. Watching this on the night I thought it had been a bit overmarked, but seeing it for a second time, I think that's actually fair - I don't necessarily think she was as good as Caroline, who got the same score, but in and of itself I think that's a fair score for what Ranvir produced<i> [I think it's also partly the three judge thing - we're going to see more similar scores in general than with four judges - Rad].</i></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Nicola & Katya</u></h4><p>Next, we have Nicola and Katya with a quickstep. Nicola says that in boxing she enjoys that you get out what you put in, and she's sure that dancing will work the same way - but with less blood, sweat and tears. She was pleased to get Katya as a partner because she knows Katya is very creative (yes, that's one word for it) and very competitive. Nicola says she's going to give it 110% and Katya's like "actually no, that's not enough", and...my ability to handle Katya's general Katya-ness is going to be tested this year, isn't it?</p><p>Nicola says that she was quick on her feet in boxing, and she hopes that that will give her an advantage. Katya says she needs to work on her posture - Nicola realises that in boxing she was always trying to make herself as small as possible, whereas to be a ballroom dancer you need to do exactly the opposite. Katya says that they have an extra challenge because they'll both have to learn the (traditionally) male and female elements of the dance, but Nicola is extremely up for that and plans to give it her all. </p><p>They're dancing to 'Get Happy' and Nicola is one of the pleasant surprises on the night - boxers don't have the best track record on this show, but she's actually rather good. She's light on her feet, she's got good rhythm, and she's already performing it. My issue with this routine is not so much with Nicola as it is with the Katyaography - as I've already hinted, I'm not a big fan of the more cartoony elements of Katya's work, and there's a fair bit of that on display here. I don't mind if this is something they lean into occasionally, but it's not something I want to see every week - I'd like to see them do something refined too. Still, it's impossible to ignore what a landmark moment this is, to see two women dancing together on the nation's flagship channel in primetime, and it's great for them both to knock it out of the park in the way that they do and prove the naysayers wrong. Can't wait to see their rumba, frankly.</p><p>Shirley congratulates them both on being able to switch between both roles because it's hard enough just to master one. Nicola was light on her feet, whipping around the floor, and this is a partnership Shirley is looking forward to seeing more of. Motsi says she was curious to see how this would work, and they haven't disappointed her. She can see Nicola has a strong core, now she just needs to work on making her upper body more stable - but she rocked it. Craig thinks they proved that they're a dynamite partnership - Nicola underpowered the knee spin and that's why she didn't quite get around on that part, but that's a very small criticism.</p><p>After we cut to the Clauditorium, Nicola says that Katya has eyes in the back of her head - even when she doesn't think Big Katya is watching, Big Katya is watching. Claudia points out that they're opposites - Nicola is very chilled, and Katya is a drill sergeant. Katya giggles that Nicola is "too chill for [her] liking". Katya reminds us that they've got an extra element to work with, but they're having so much fun. Scores: Craig 7, Shirley 7, Motsi 7 for a total of 21.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>Bill & Oti</u></h4><p>Two couples left! In the penultimate slot, we have Bill and Oti. They've already got a fun, dry, consciously awkward chemistry going - she says they've been trying to work out a team name and Bill's all "a team <i>what</i>". She suggests Team Bill Bailey, and he points out that that is...his name. <i>[I mean, Boti McBoatface is just sitting there - Rad]</i> Oti appears to be helpless with laughter already, so this is going well. (Note to Jacqui and Anton: show, don't tell.) They're doing a cha cha cha set on a beach where Bill is a superstar instrumentalist, and Oti had an idea for Bill to play an instrument at the top of the number - Bill brings out his Tibetan prayer bells, and Oti says that's not quite what she had in mind. The Chinese gourd flute also fails to make the cut, but the keyboard meets with Oti's approval. In training, Oti tells Bill not to "Elvis it", and he protests that he has "Elvis knees". Bill says that Oti's choreography is brilliant, he loves the level of precision that she brings - even if she's forcing him to stand up straight. He is having the time of his life. Hooray!</p><p>They're dancing to 'Mata Mata', and the routine is full of energy, though Bill's hips are fairly sticky. He's definitely not a natural latin dancer, but Oti has choreographed a really fun, packed routine that gets the best out of him nonetheless. It's interesting that both Oti and Katya have a tendency to get a bit extra in their choreography, but it bothers me less when Oti does it - I think because Oti tends not to use it to break the fourth wall whereas Katya tends to play out to the camera a lot, ultimately it's just a personal taste thing. I will say this much for Oti - she has a real skill for bringing out the best in her celebrities, even in genres that aren't a natural fit for them, and this cha cha is a prime example of that. On a technical level it's a bit of a mess, but it's just so darn enjoyable to watch.</p><p>Motsi tells Bill that this song is legendary in South Africa, and he did a great job - he really committed from beginning to end, but he needs to work on his technique, straighten the leg and get the upper body going. Tess tells Craig that Bill read his book for research and asks if it helped - Craig says that Bill created a whole new genre with that, and it was like he was "dancing on hot coals after 10 double espressos". "How did you know?" deadpans Bill. Craig giggles that Bill threw himself into it shamelessly, and Bill bows. Shirley says there was magic happening out there - he needs to work on his posture, which will help his leg action, but he brought such a big smile to her face.</p><p>Bill sprints up to the Clauditorium leaving Oti trailing in his wake, and Bill tells Claudia that he wanted to go full-on. He's said he didn't manage to fit in a trumpet solo, but maybe next week. Oti says that 'Mata Mata' is her mum's favourite song - it was nice for her to have a little bit of home because she hasn't been able to go back in such a long time. Scores: Craig 3, Shirley 6, Motsi 6 for a total of 15.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><u>HRVY & Janette</u></h4><p>So our final couple - and first pimp slot of the series - are HRVY and JNTT. HRVY - or "RV", as he says it, I see even the sometimes vowels aren't welcome here - and in his VT he vows to give it his all, but warns Janette that his attention might wander at times. She tells him no, absolutely not, and he vows to give it his undivided attention. They've got the jive, and he's all "I don't know what that is!" and like, can we cast people who've at least seen this show before please? In training HRVY complains that he's tired and he's really unfit, and Janette says they just need to work on stamina, stamina, stamina. </p><p>To the dancefloor! They're dancing to 'Faith' by Stevie Wonder and Ariana Grande, and it quickly becomes clear that HRVY's claimed total ignorance of what a jive is might have been somewhat overstated, because HRVY is a DRTY RNGH. Still, it's quite a good strategy from Janette to get the jive out of the way in week one, since that's where her last ringer came unstuck. There's a lot of energy in the routine, it's very clean and precise and packed with both content and tricks. Also, I'm pleased to report that I had my first experience of interacting with the HRVY fandom on Twitter last night and...they seem to be nice and polite and reasonable? That's always a point in someone's favour.</p><p>At the end of it, HRVY is KNCKRD, but Craig tells him that the jive was SPCTCLR. Shirley says that he is the one to watch - the talent has been amazing this evening, and HRVY was no exception. She thinks this is going to be a fierce competition. Motsi says this was the best first dance she has ever seen (well, that's going to be an awkward Christmas in the Mabuse family now, isn't it) - she makes a point of keeping an eye on what's happening with this franchise in the other countries (all of them? When does she sleep?) and she's wondering where they even go from here. She thinks it was a fantastic ending to a great show.</p><p>HRVY manages to muster enough energy to sprint up the stairs to the CLDTRM where he can barely talk, and he says he's not sure if he deserves what Motsi just said to him but he's very grateful for it. He adds that his hands were wet all the way through, and he really wanted to go for a wee but he's glad he didn't. I'm glad we've topped and tailed the show with detailed examinations of the contestants' bodily functions. Janette tells him he was incredible. Scores: Craig 8, Shirley 8, Motsi 9 for a total of 25. Claudia says she wishes she could hug them - she really misses that. The other celebs are all cheering too.</p><p>Final leaderboard:</p><p>1. HRVY & Janette - 25<br />2. Maisie & Gorka - 24<br />3=. Caroline & Johannes - 21<br />3=. Ranvir & Giovanni - 21<br />3=. Nicola & Katya - 21<br />6. JJ & Amy - 19<br />7. Clara & Aljaž - 18<br />8. Max & Dianne - 17<br />9. Jason & Luba - 16<br />10. Bill & Oti - 15<br />11. Jamie & Karen - 14<br />12. Jacqui & Anton - 13</p><p>I wonder if having three judges will mean a lot more ties this year? It did rather gum things up that week in series 15 when Bruno wasn't there, but I suppose <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>makes it work on a regular basis, so I'm sure we'll manage somehow.</p><p>Speaking of Bruno, we get a quick insert from him, with definite "I heartily endorse this event or product" vibes. He singles out Caroline, JJ and Maisie for praise, suggesting he recorded this before he'd seen the end of the show. After that, there's a trailer for the (socially distanced) return of <i>It Takes Two</i> with Zoe and Rylan, and the official <i>Strictly </i>podcast with Joe Sugg, and Jacqui and Anton (of all people!) encouraging us to embrace the Twitters, the Instantgrams, the Facebooks and the Tick Tocks.</p><p>That's it for week one - next week, we do it all over again with a public vote on top and a performance from Sam Smith (and yesssss to Tess introducing Sam with they/them pronouns, what an ally). Until then: keeeeeep dancing at a government-mandated distance!</p>Stevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11316961982697602507noreply@blogger.com7