Top 6: 8th December 2012
Last weekend on
Strictly: Louis's Dance Journey continued with an adherence to its planned timetable that would bring First Great Western to its knees as he visited an "acting coach", pulled a few faces in his charleston, and suddenly became a contender all over again. Chris Hollins has really got a lot to answer for, hasn't he? Meanwhile, Denise and/or James forgot part of their salsa, and Denise either struggled or coped admirably depending on which of the show's two entirely polar-opposite mindsets it happens to be embracing at any given moment, and we witnessed the end of this year's Entirely Normal Male Friendship (you can call it a "bromance" if you like, but I absolutely refuse to) as Nicky faced Michael in the Dread Dance Off, and Michael finally paid the price for his sub-standard Latin efforts. Still, Natalie was wearing a fierce headdress throughout, which covers a lot of sins in my book.
This week,
Strictly brings its toughest challenge ever: no, not persuading the public that Lisa Snowdon really was the greatest female celebrity never to win the show, but Dance Fusion. In case you've missed all the memos, it's another slightly dubious format twist inherited from
Dancing With The Stars, and appears to be replacing the swingathon this year
[Except taking up a whole week by itself, which maybe means the final four couples won't even have done every dance? I mean, if they MUST do this kind of thing, can't it be a bonus extra dance in the final or something? - Rad] [
To be fair, ever since they reduced the length of the run from series eight onwards, nobody does every dance any more. - Steve]. It involves blending two different genres of dance into one routine, danced to the same song. The show, of course, decides to illustrate this in a suitably infantile way by dressing everyone up as mad scientists and having them play with Louis Pasteur's My First Volatile Chemistry Set, and having Tess's ominous voiceover declare that if the couples can't establish a stable compound, they could be out of the competition. Hilariously, Louis's response to this is to shrug indifferently at the camera. SO ENGAGED IN THE PROCESS! Also, Robin and Lisa's cocktail appears to involve too much sparkle, but just when you think they might have actually learned something over the last ten weeks, Robin declares that there's never too much sparkle. I beg to differ: I think we all saw a little too much of Lisa's sparkle with that samba at Wembley.
Cue titles! If anyone's interested, Aliona has now replaced Iveta alongside Johnny Ball in the credits again. Poor Iveta. I hope she's still in contention for a full-time position on the show next year when they fire Karen. Or, you know, whoever.
Live from Television Centre, we have a Bruce and we have a Tess. Daly Dresswatch: I am unsure of my emotions about this week's ensemble, which is a biscuit-boloured floor-length number which appears to have a separate bodice with a raised pattern that I think I last saw on my nan's cushions in 1992. They go for the leg kick opener, and Tess looks as thrilled as ever to be manhandled by Bruce in such a fashion. "You nearly got away!" Bruce says to her, and Tess replies "nearly!" in the sort of way that carries the weight of a hope that one day she'll get away permanently, possibly to a partnership with Claudia when they can engage in light homoeroticism on a more regular basis.
It's nice to see David Walliams in the audience, to see David Walliams in the audience nice, and Tess reminds us that tonight is a
Strictly first because it's Dance Fusion Night. You know what else was a
Strictly first once upon a time? Rock 'n' roll. Now let's never mention that again. Interestingly, Tess elaborates a bit on how the fusion aspect is going to work: either the couples have to integrate the two genres seamlessly, or they can split the routine half-and-half. That last one doesn't really sound like "fusion" to me so much as it sounds like "half-arsing it", but I'm going to do my best to approach this concept with an open mind. Bruce explains the potential dangers of Dance Fusion: earlier he saw the pro dancers combining a flashdance with a quickstep, and all he got was a quick flash. Gloria Hunniford is amused by this, but I'm just concerned that the producers are already considering installing Flashdance as an official
Strictly dance genre for next year, and signing up Robert Webb and Jennifer Beals for the ringer-off to end all ringer-offs. Honestly, it'll make Denise Van Outen look like Gary Rhodes.
Anyway, Bruce is still doddering on about his "quick flash" joke and waving at someone in the audience while Tess gamely tries to keep things on track. Her reward for this is to be yanked off-balance as usual because it's time to meet the stars of our show: Kimberley & Pasha, Nicky & Kimberley, Lisa & Robin, Louis & Flavia, Dani & Vincent and Denise &...oh, what's his name again? Jim? John? Jack? Shit, I'd better cover this memory lapse before anyone notices.
*shimmies for several minutes*
Bruce returns to the idea of Dance Fusion being a
Strictly first
because the couples will start off doing one dance and end by doing a different one, until he decides it's not such a landmark after all because Widdy did that all the time. Oh, Bruce. Widdy rarely managed one dance in a week, I don't think she ever managed two. For those of you interested in red-button matters, Karen Hardy
refused to spend an hour locked in a room with Nancy Dell'Olio is away this week, so Anton is standing in for her with special guest, Nancy Dell'Olio. Bruce reacts to the news of Nancy's presence with a hilariously genuine-sounding "oh no!" Regrettably, I was out having dinner with my boyfriend and his parents while the show was on so I don't know what sort of delightful insights Nancy was offering, but I'm sure they were...memorable. And hey, at least they're back to having former contestants doing commentary: I'd pick Nancy over Jon bloody Culshaw any day of the week.
Up first tonight are Denise Van Wassname and her partner James Itsonthetipofmytongue, who are doing a jive and a quickstep for their Dance Fusion. Naturally, their VT is all about the blanking moment from last week, almost as if all those honestly-it-went-so-badly-in-the-dress-rehearsal-it-really-did chickens were finally coming home to roost. James says that the end of the routine wasn't exactly how it was supposed to be, but you couldn't necessarily tell they went wrong. Oh, James. Even you aren't enough of an egomaniac to intentionally choreograph Denise hovering around your crotch in prime blowjob position for a full five seconds. Trust me, we knew. Denise says that it feels like a setback, but it's good because it means
she's definitely not a ringer they've now got the drive to come back and prove themselves this week. As they're doing quickstep and jive, it's a very quick routine, and James declares that splitting the dances down the middle is for pussies, so he's choreographed for them to switch between the styles repeatedly. Quite right too.
They're dancing to 'Reet Petite', and it starts out promisingly enough as a comeback: obviously Denise's original jive was very well-received and she's still got the energy and cleanliness of movement that she produced in that routine, and when they switch into quickstep there's some lovely light and effortless movement around the floor. However, there's a small stumble in one of the in-hold kick sections - it's hard to tell exactly what happens but I think Denise just loses her balance momentarily and it's enough to mean that she's on the wrong leg to lead off into the next section of the programme, so there's a little bit of confusion, although she does seem to get back on track reasonably quickly. Meanwhile, the Fug Of Forgetfulness that follows these two around seems to have spread to the band as the singer forgets an entire line of 'Reet Petite' and just splutters through it, although to be fair, this is one of those songs where the lyrics are so garbled that I doubt many people noticed. Unfortunately for Denise and James it ends on a slightly sour note as Denise appears to do one too many spins in a solo section, leaving the waiting James visibly grasping at thin air for her hand, and when he finally catches her to do the closing drop, they're a few beats behind the music. It's a shame, really: 85% of that routine was very enjoyable, but the errors were a bit too clumsy for someone of Denise's general ability at this stage of the competition.
[I know. It was looking like a really excellent routine, such a shame there were mistakes. I still love watching these two dance though which is more than I can say for, ooh, a third of the couples still in - Rad]
At the end of the dance, Denise says "I got my heel caught!" to James, which would explain that momentary stumble in the middle of the dance. Sure enough, there's a massive rip in Denise's dress which she's clutching guiltily as she walks over to Bruce, still wailing "I got my heel caught!" to anyone who'll listen - though Bruce is not numbered amongst those people. Bruce asks Len if there are any different rules in Dance Fusion week (oh, so NOW suddenly people care about the rules) and Len says that essentially they're allowed one lift, unless one of the styles is one of the dances where they're normally allowed to do lifts anyway, in which case they're permitted to do the usual amount. Well, that's as clear as your average tax return. Thanks Len! He thinks the quickstep had go and the jive had show, and it was a proper fusion - he thinks sometimes the quickstep kicks were a little bit "jivified" and mentions the error in the middle, at which point Denise leaps in to make sure we all definitely know that she got her heel caught, and Len's blunt response is "you were probably cocking your leg up too high." Ha! That's her little sympathy gravy train terminating early, then.
[The dress was very pretty but not sure that material is the best for a high kicking dance - Rad] Bruno enjoyed the momentum of the routine and is sanguine about the dress-ruining incident, but he thinks the jive was incredible. Craig loved the jive part, though he thought the quickstep parts were a little too bouncy, but he thought the spins were incredible. Possibly they were literally not credible, since they ultimately led to them finishing late. James attempts to protest that he choreographed it like that on purpose, and he really is following the trajectory of Brendan Cole incredibly closely, isn't he? Starting off as the bad boy of the ballroom, then slowly morphing into the gallant gentleman who takes the blame for problems that may or may not have been his celebrity partner's fault. I can't wait until he completes the transition and ends up partnering the year's most emotionally fragile/completely psychotic female contestants. Meanwhile, Darcey is talking: the jive is Denise's strength but there was too much bounce in the quickstep. However, she loves Denise's determination.
They run (carefully) up to the Tess Circle, where Denise forces us to relive Dressgate in mind-numbing detail again, some more, and for once Tess's complete lack of engagement with the situation accurately portrays what everyone at home is feeling. Tess asks Denise if things are getting tougher as they get closer to the final, and she says that they are, with James adding that everyone else has upped their game. James points out that they've fused the two fastest dances, so this week has been very hard, but he's proud of how hard Denise has worked, "whatever happens tonight". So they're still preparing for that bottom two appearance, then? Scores are in: Craig 8, Darcey 9, Len 9, Bruno 9 for a total of 35. Denise and James are happy and a little relieved with that. James begs his mum to vote. Hee.
Up next are Lisa and Robin. Last week the judges politely ignored the fact that their quickstep was a hot, hot mess, with Len choosing instead to say that Morecambe and Wise were looking down from heaven and cheering her on. To be fair, after they were posthumously forced into being a part of
this crime against humanity, I can imagine that having their spirits invoked in support of a merely mediocre quickstep was a comparative relief. Anyway, getting back to earth (of sorts), Lisa says that hearing that was like being given a million quid. I'd say that seems a bit extreme, but given how dancing at Wembley seems to be the standard lifetime dream for contestants on this show, I'm pretty much losing all perspective here. Meanwhile, Robin crows that this is the furthest he's ever got in the competition, and he just hopes it continues. Yes, do let's hope we continue to get a weekly opportunity to find your choreography wanting, Bobby. This week they're dancing a tango and a cha cha cha to 'Voulez Vous' by Abba, and Lisa is struggling with the different demands the two styles are placing on her legs. Apparently Robin is becoming very Artem-like in training this week - no, not blissed out on an unspecified cocktail of prescription painkillers, but stern and demanding. Lisa says that she needs to up her game, technically. She's not wrong, but this has been the case for about seven weeks now and I'm still not seeing much improvement.
Their routine starts brilliantly as Lisa literally gets off on the wrong foot. Well, so much for technical excellence. They open with the tango and Lisa's pout is rather distracting, as is the fact that she seems to be struggling to keep up with Robin. Speaking of Robin, he's gone for the easiest possible route of choreography, which is to just change styles permanently at the halfway point. He's even included a Bucks Fizz-style skirt removal at the point of transition, complete with Lisa doing entirely overacted "OH MY MODESTY!" faces. The cha cha cha is, if anything, worse than the first time she attempted it as Lisa frequently looks lost and unsure of what she's supposed to be doing next, and is even poking her tongue out trying to concentrate
[And, yet again, Robin seems to mess his own steps up too. I'm really losing patience with his choreography - Rad]. Robin attempts a week one callback by ending with the same lift that they used first time around, only this time having Lisa leap into his arms rather than the other way around. It's a nice idea and I'm sure the intention was to show us how much Lisa has improved as a dancer since then, but honestly, go back and look at
the very first dance she did and try to tell me that it wasn't slicker, more energetic, more enjoyable and more professional than what she turned out this week.
Bruce introduces the fabulous singers (who do not get individual names this week), DaveArch, and his wonderful orchestra. "You do such a wonderful job for us," says Bruce. "Every week, they're there." That's not much of a compliment, is it - getting an A* for attendance? Bruno thinks Lisa was dazzling and says that the cha cha cha suits her because it's cheeky and naughty, and while her tango was better than her usual ballroom, he thinks the cha cha cha was stronger overall because it's a better fit for her. Craig agrees that the cha cha cha was better than the tango, because her top line is failing her in all of the ballroom dances. He thinks she was a little ahead at times and anticipating the steps, and says that the dance really took off when her clothes came off. Filth. Darcey disagrees, because she thinks the tango was stronger. I can't believe I'm saying this, but: Darcey's right, y'all. She thought Lisa's top line had improved and the shaping was better, whereas the cha cha cha was loose and needed to be sharper and snappier. Len thinks Lisa's enthusiasm is infectious, and it's always joyous to watch her, but she went wrong in the cha cha cha, and he found the whole thing a bit too predictable because the joy of Dance Fusion for him is not knowing what's coming next.
Up in the Tess Circle, Lisa apologies to Robin for her
faux pas. Tess asks Lisa if she enjoyed revisiting the cha cha cha, and Lisa says yes, particularly the catch at the end, "which was so famous from week one". Believing your own hype, table for one. Lisa adds that the final is so close and she can't believe she's made it this far, saying that she's a nightmare on the results show because she doesn't want to be in the Dread Dance Off. Tess turns to Robin and enquires whether he's "had a touch of the Artems". I know they used to live together Tess, but I don't think that particular rumour was ever confirmed. If it was: poor Kara. Robin says that he's pushing Lisa hard but it gets results, at which point Tess yells over her shoulder "it's rubbing off, Artem!" At least, I hope there was a comma in there. Scores are in: Craig 7, Darcey 8, Len 7, Bruno 8 for a total of 30. Craig and Len are booed for awarding 7s to that dance. I guess they made a rod for their own backs last week by setting a precedent of awarding 8s to routines that were only half-finished.
Our third couple is Nicky and Karen. "Very popular people!" says Bruce. They were in the dance-off last week, Bruce. I know you're never around for that, but one would hope that you at least watch it on a Sunday. As Nicky and Karen are dancing to 'Troublemaker' by Olly Murs this week, Bruce attempts to make a "Flo Rida" joke. Sadly, it does not involve enjoying sex with women while they're on their periods. Well, I say "sadly", that might in fact be for the best.
Last week, Nicky's Argentine tango didn't go entirely well, and he admits that when he got 30 for it, he knew that wasn't enough at this stage in the competition, but having survived the Dread Dance-Off yet again, he's determined not to end up back there again. This week they're dancing a fusion of the samba and the American smooth foxtrot, which seems to be a particularly tricksy combination, which Karen confirms. Nicky vows once more to give it his all this week because he doesn't want to go home.
Well, let's start by saying something positive about this dance: he's wearing tightly-fitting trousers, so we can all see his penis again! Sadly that's about the nicest thing I have to say, because the rest of it is a bit of a mess: the opening doesn't feel like an American smooth OR a samba, and then when they finally get into hold his legs are bent so much that it looks more like a tango. The samba sections are better, but he's still all spaghetti-like in his limbs and in general any attempt he makes at arm extensions just looks a bit feeble. I just genuinely don't know what was going on with this dance at all - I challenge anyone who came into this without seeing the VT to have correctly identified which genres they were doing. I don't think I'd have even been able to limit myself to guessing two.
[It was a hot fried mess - the worst combination of styles, neither of which they seemed to attempt, and a choice of music that went with neither. Just awful. Although, to be fair, this is exactly the kind of trainwreck I thought everyone's dance would be - Rad]
Craig laments the lack of bounce in the samba and the posture in the American smooth part, and says that he suspects "we're going to be seeing that dance again." Bruce declares this "cruel", and I agree, but mostly on behalf of the viewers who will indeed have to watch that again. Bloody Dread Dance Off. Darcey thinks it was well-staged (it was?) and the changes were very neat (they were?), but Nicky's shoulders let him down, and he overextends his arms. Still, his performance value is good, and he sells it. Len thinks this was a difficult fusion to attempt, and he thought the samba was terrific, but Nicky still doesn't straighten his knees in ballroom like he's supposed to. He's fairly positive about the routine overall, though. Bruno thinks it was "a heroic effort" because the two dances are so different - "it's like night and day!" Oh, if only it had been, then the whole thing could've ended with
Nicky having a sex change and revealing that Karen had been DEAD ALL ALONG. Despite the "technical shortcomings", he "command"s [sic] Nicky for always giving 100 per cent.
In the Tess Circle, Tess asks Nicky if he's going it for his TRUE LOVE MICHAEL, and Nicky's all "yeah, sure, whatever, but MY MUM IS HERE!" Wow, what a player. Poor Michael.
[Nicky's mum also gives epic bitch-face - Rad] Tess cracks a comment about how Nicky "barely left his stool" in Westlife and everyone laughs awkwardly as Tess tries to segue this into "and you've come so far since then!" Nicky says he'd be devastated to go now, and he feels that while he wobbled a bit at the start and is still wobbling (well, having a generously-sized penis is bound to affect one's balance), he'd love to stay in and hopes that people will vote for him. Scores: Craig 5, Darcey 7, Len 8, Bruno 7 for a total of 27.
After an extended and bafflingly irrelevant Brucie joke about pickling, it's time for Dani and Vincent. I know I could certainly do with getting pickled after that. Last week their Viennese waltz was charming and, I think, possibly slightly undermarked
[I blame the godawful music and costumes - Rad], and this week they've got the quickstep and the charleston. Dani and Vincent are once again the victims of an unwelcome comedy VT about how much Vincent loves himself, hahahahahahadiminishingreturns. Still, considering most of their training footage appears to consist of them accidentally kicking each other, I'm not sure the producers had many other options. Dani declares that she wants to make the semi-final more than she's ever wanted anything in her whole life. I find that peculiar, because surely she wants to make the final even more than that? Oh well, it's all just pointless filler at this stage really, isn't it? Shall we get on with things?
They're dancing to 'Happy Feet', and they've arguably got the most naturally-suited fusion of the night so as a result their routine has a seamless blend to its two sides. Dani's quickstep earlier in the series was a breakthrough moment for her, so obviously she handles that side of things well, and she's pretty good at all the flapper stuff for the charleston too. I appreciate that their quickstep is lighthearted without being too openly goofy - I think there's a thin line to be walked there and they've done it pretty well. That said, I think it lacks energy at times, and Dani's kicks could do with being emphasised more, and the wheelbarrow into reverse-lift ending is ungainly, to put it mildly.
[It was really good, and my favourite of theirs so far, but I thought there was a bit of an imbalance with more charleston and less quickstep. And yes, a bit of a cop-out in terms of how easy it was. They danced it well but I thought Denise/James and Kimberley/Pasha had more interesting routines in terms of how the styles were fused - Rad]
It gets the first standing ovation of the night, and Darcey declares that dance "extraordinary", saying that Dani upped her technical ability and the in-and-out wave of the quickstep was beautiful. Len would've liked the feet better if he'd seen the occasional heel lead, but apart from that, it was all "yum yum pig's bum". CALL OFCOM! Bruno thinks it was like watching "a flapper's greatest hits". At least, I think he said "flapper". And "hits", for that matter. He liked that they went full-bore (speaking of which, don't forget
The X Factor final is on after this!), and Craig thinks the choreography was brilliant and Dani did a great job.
Up in the Tess Circle, Tess reminds us that Bruno called it "perfection" and Dani says "you can't get better than that, can you?" And people say that light entertainment is not educational! Dani says she wants to get through to the semi-finals for "this man" (well, at least she's stopped calling him Papa Smurf...for now) and Tess tells us this was Vincent's first charleston because, lest we forget,
this is what he was lumbered doing in the series where the charleston was introduced. Scores: Craig 9, Darcey 10, Len 9, Bruno 10 for a total of 38. Well, at least the more obnoxious side of her fanbase will hopefully shut up now she's had some 10s.
Our penultimate couple of the night are Louis and Flavia. Last week he had a BREAKTHROUGH of theatricality, and got a couple of tens for his trouble. This week he and Flavia are fusing the tango with the rumba - and at this point someone has the sheer neck to present the idea that Louis is going to struggle with doing two erotically-charged styles of dance because he doesn't consider himself sexy. Pull the other one: Louis takes his clothes off for a magazine shoot nearly every week. What, does he think the pictures are going into medical anatomy textbooks or something? I am going to give the rest of this VT the response it deserves by ignoring it entirely. I don't care how comically they're attempting to present this notion, it's still utterly fucking ridiculous.
They're dancing to 'With Or Without You', and Flavia's wearing the Fringing Of Doom which suggests bad things for this routine, but actually it's pretty good
[apart from the bit where they totally fuck up and she nearly knocks him over in the dragging across the floor move, the technical name of which I still don't know - Rad]. Louis is actually managing some level of emotional connection for the rumba, his arm shaping is pretty decent, the lift is good and they blend well from one style into the other. To be honest, I think I was more impressed by his acting this week than by the supposed "breakthrough" of last week's charleston.
That routine earns the second standing ovation of the night, and Len says that they pulled that fusion off very well. Bruno loved the build up from soft and sensual to the climax at the end was "masterful", and tells them to keep it up because it's going the right way. Although he might have just been reading from his notes for Nicky there. Craig loved it, but has one complaint: Louis's thumb was up during the tango. Bruno decides to engage with a woman sitting behind him as Darcey says she thinks the emotion was perfect and expressive and the arms were delicious, and the tango was crisp and one of his best dances yet.
Up in the Tess Circle, Tess gets him to show off his rumba arms once more and then asks how much he wants to make it through to next week, at which point Louis starts talking about how he's used to getting silver and bronze so he's not used to
properly winning, and CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER. I mean, I don't wish to start poking at the sleeping bear that is this show's general double standard, but can you imagine what would've happened if a female contestant had combined "I'm not sexy even though I am" and "I'm so tired of only being the second- or third-best in the world" in the same week? Because I'm betting the outcome would not have been pretty. Scores are in: Craig 9, Darcey 9, Len 9, Bruno 10 for a total of 37.
Finally we have "Kimberley Walsh and her partner Pasha Kupoflove". Bruce isn't even trying to get his name right any more, is he? Although I guess I have no objections to more references to Pasha's cup of love of this show. Last week Kimberley and Pasha's jive went pretty well despite her gammy hip and the elaborate trick that didn't quite come together on the night, and they got their highest score so far from Craig. This week they're dancing a cha cha cha and a tango fusion to 'It's Raining Men'. So that's two dances she's already done, combined with the gayest song in the history of the world. Pasha's really playing to Kimberley's strengths this week, isn't he? Their VT is a comedy exploration of how Kimberley is lovely when they dance the cha cha cha and mean when they dance the tango, complete with both of them doing their Acting Face at each other and being adorable.
So...this routine, then. It starts with Kimberley on a podium dressed like a second-week eliminee from
RuPaul's Drag Race and goes straight into tango complete with Kimberley's trademark pout. She's much better in hold this time, and Pasha's choreographed a very clever routine that switches in and out of the two styles over and over again, and Kimberley handles it very well. It fits the music perfectly, and in terms of drama and general gaymazingness it reminds me a lot of
this, and I don't think I can give a much higher compliment than that. There's one moment where Kimberley suffers what looks like a momentary loss of balance coming out of a lift, but apart from that, I loved it unreservedly.
[Me too. Except for both of their hairstyles. The most effective 'fusion' of the night. But still overmarked. Mainly because it makes me sad that a fusion has the best score of the series so far - Rad]
They get the third and final standing ovation of the night, and Bruno opens by saying "Nicky, you caused a nuclear fusion!" I know we've had contestants called by the wrong names before, but is this the first time the name they were given wasn't even for a contestant of the same gender? He thinks there was a surprise at every turn, and it was imaginative, inventive and seamless - the dance of the season so far. Kimberley screams with glee at this. Craig merely says "that is dancing", and leaves it at that. Darcey thinks it suited her perfectly and that Kimberley "made it her own". This isn't
The X Factor, Darcey, please leave that sort of talk outside. Len declares that he's going to join the audience. Finally! He's resigning! Oh, wait, he's just going to give Kimberley a standing ovation all by himself. A bit like that time Arlene did it for Alesha, only this time I don't think it was intended to get everyone up on their feet again. Kimberley's thrilled, and Pasha's ass is looking FINE in those trousers, so I don't think we could possibly have ended the evening in any better way.
Up in the Tess Circle, Tess reveals that Kimberley was so nervous pre-dance that she was pacing up and down before she went on. The audience are shouting appreciatively for Kimberley and her faces, and Kimberley really wants to still be here next week. She's been stuck on 34 for the past for weeks, so can she finally move up from that? Scores are in: Craig 10, Darcey 10, Len 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 40. I know there was some grumbling about that since the dance wasn't
perfect, but really: previous dances to receive a perfect score include Lisa Snowdon's cha cha cha, Chris Hollins's charleston, Jason Donovan's Argentine tango and Pamela Stephenson's quickstep, none of which were perfect (some of which, indeed, weren't any good at all) so it feels a bit late to be complaining about this now. Certainly I think it deserved to be the highest-scoring dance of the night, and given that Dani had already been given 38, there were only two other places they could go with it. Anyway, deserving of the scores or not, it was totally worth it to see Kimberley completely losing her shit as each successive ten came in. There hasn't been that much excitement on this show since all the gays of Twitter realised they could see the outline of Nicky's you-know-what.
Final leaderboard, then:
1st: Kimberley & Pasha (40)
2nd: Dani & Vincent (38)
3rd: Louis & Flavia (37)
4th: Denise & James (35)
5th: Lisa & Robin (30)
6th: Nicky & Karen (27)
So, no ties this week, and given Denise's precarious position (and who's directly beneath her), I think she and James might finally discover their Dread Dance Off fear to be a self-fulfilling prophecy this week, though I'd be surprised if anyone other than Nicky and Karen go home. We'll find out soon enough, of course, but until the results are known, I leave you with the worrying revelation that Bruce Forsyth was given a writing credit at the end of the show. Truly, 'tis the end of days.
