Show and tell

Week 11: Top 5 Perform (Musicals Week) - 30 November 2019

Ever have that moment where you can't quite believe you're watching something that was broadcast on a major channel in 2019? I'm having that right now with this opening VT, which features an indifferently-drawn proscenium arch and curtains on which silhouettes of the contestants are superimposed as they talk about Musicals Week. I'm not sure it's an idea that you could ever execute in a prestige TV way to begin with, but the effect here is undeniably CBeebies. Who signed this off? Anyway, if you want to know what's being said: Chris is the one who gets the short straw and has to tell us what week it is, Emma wants to deliver the best performance of her life, Karim says that being part of the final five on Strictly is the best feeling ever, Alex can't believe she's made it this far and she's not taking any moment of it for granted, and Kelvin promises that his performance will be bigger, better and more memorable than ever before. And just in case anyone was having trouble identifying who was saying what, the silhouettes fade into the actual people as we get one more round of soundbites: Karim has to give it his all when the curtain comes up, Chris is ready to give an awesome performance and have a brilliant time doing it, Emma can't even say how she would feel to make it through to the semis, it would mean the world to Kelvin, Alex has been training so hard and would love to make it to the semis. Then the curtain closes, and I hope we can put this entire sorry incident behind us and never speak of it again.

Titles! Huh, that's weird. The final five are the first five couples on the credits. Has that ever happened before? I even had to go back and check an early episode on iPlayer to check they hadn't reedited them but no, it was always Emma, then Alex, then Chris, then Kelvin, then Karim. Admittedly Anneka is sixth and that's where the conspiracy theory falls flat on its face, but since when has that ever stopped me? (Also this would assume an Emma/Alex/Chris final which seems about as likely as...well, Alex surviving this week given that she's got the samba.)

So of course we open with a big West End style Musical number to 'Put On Your Sunday Clothes' from Hello, Dolly! (or Wall-E, if you prefer) sung by Anton and Kevin. Yes, apparently giving Bruno a microphone last week has truly opened the floodgates and now everyone's at it. I hope this is all building up to Iveta coming back to replace all of Dave Arch's Fabulous Singers in the final and do all the numbers herself. In fairness, both Anton and Kevin can hold a note, but it's also perfectly clear why they became dancers and not singers. Motsi and Shirley are also dancing in this routine, but please don't expect me to tell you who they are meant to be playing because I haven't seen Hello, Dolly!, so I'm just going to pick two names at random off the Wikipedia page and say that they're Irene and Minnie. Of course, the bit we're all here for is when it transitions into the title song and Craig appears, in drag, as Dolly. Can I say that Craig makes quite an attractive woman? Well, it's out there now, I can't take it back. [I agree.  Although I've seen pictures of him in worse drag so hair make-up and costume did good work here - Rad] He only gets two lines to sing, which is probably for the best.

Tess arrives, wearing a rainbow sequinned number that looks like what I made from one of those "fill this bottle with multicoloured sand and then hot-glue some googly eyes and hair onto the top" stands at Dreamland in 1996, and just when you're assuming that she's walked off with tonight's Worst Dressed award, out comes Claudia in a silver sequin-and-fringe number that looks like one of those rotating brushes from a car wash. I'd wonder if Vicky Gill was overstretched putting the musical-themed costumes together, but she had one couple less to worry about than usual, so...? [I just assumed Tess was a Joseph tribute and Claudia, IDK something 70s-inspired like Mamma Mia! or Tommy]

Tess thanks legendary West End choreographer Bill Deamer for putting that opening number together, and Claudia gets everyone to give Craig a special round of applause. Speaking of which, Claudia winks down the camera that they've had "a quick change in the wings" and out come the judges: Shirley, Bruno, Motsi and Craig. I don't think Craig has had quite enough time to get all the make-up off because he's definitely a different shade than he usually is, but hey, he's pulling it off and more power to him, that's what I say. Everyone hits their mark for the first time in two weeks, and Shirley and Motsi are closer to sticking their tongues down each other's throats than ever before. [It did look like Shirley, Motsi and Bruno were having a very close moment.  Poor Craig - Rad]

Our Strictly stars make their West End debuts (well, apart from Emma, who has been in Chicago but not Thoroughly Modern Millie, thank you very much): Emma and Anton as Millie Dillmount and Trevor Graydon III, Chris and Karen as The Artful Dodger and Oliver Twist (such a butch icon, we simply must stan), Alex and Neil as Rita Louise Watson and...Friend, Karim and Amy as Link Larkin and Penny Lou Pingleton (they go for a high-five and basically miss each other which is quite funny), and finally Kelvin and Oti as Gaston and Belle, which is taking a few liberties with canon but I guess I'll allow it.

Claudia tells us that we'll be able to vote later in the show (oh will we now? We'll see about that) and our votes will be combined with the judges' scores to see who faces the penultimate dance-off of the series.

Chris & Karen

Tess opens for them by saying that during the course of the series Craig has never given Chris more than a five for his ballroom. Do you know how many ballroom routines Chris has done, as we come into week 11? Three. Anyway, this is of course a cue for Chris to do the whole "please sir, I want some more" thing, badaboom. His VT begins with Chris snarking that he always knew he'd make the quarter-finals but he wasn't sure about Karen, so he's very proud of her. Heh. Karen adds that every week has been a shock, and Chris points out that this week is a triple shock because it's Week 11, the Quarter-Finals and Musicals Week. Did he...not get given the schedule beforehand? I'm pretty sure it was sent to the WhatsApp group. Sophie the production assistant is going to have some explaining to do, that's for sure. Chris was very excited to get an 8 from Craig for his paso last week, and now he's moving on to the foxtrot. Well, the "foxtrot". Chris is excited to have a team of Ruffians to support him in his endeavours this week, for accuracy's sake of course. In training, Chris hurts his hand doing some sort of jumping spin, and Karen talks about him doing the whole thing by himself, which makes Chris sick in his mouth a little bit at the thought of Karen deciding not to bother turning up on the night. Chris says he's loving this foxtrot, which is a sentence he never thought he'd say outside of the context of seeing a cute fox trotting through his garden.

They're dancing to 'Consider Yourself', with lots of Cockernee arm-swaggering, though all credit to Chris for keeping in time with his backing dancers. Despite what we may have deduced from the training footage shown on It Takes Two during the week, there are actually two obvious foxtrot sections in the routine and they are danced...well, they are danced, I can definitely say that much [Yeah, I thought there'd be limited foxtrot from that training footage but it was probably more true to genre than some routines in this show. *Cough* Abbey's salsa.  *Cough* Kelvin's Charleston.  *Cough* What's coming next. - Rad]. It's clear though that Chris feels far more comfortable in the broader "cor blimey mate apples and pears strike a light" bits that make up the other 75% of the routine. It's tricky, because I think strategically avoiding ballroom is probably what got Chris this far in the first place, but I suspect it's what will also be his undoing in the endgame now that he's here and we can see he still doesn't really know what he's doing. It's a shame, really, because there are some nice moments and accents in the dance that make me think that he might have been able to nail it if he'd had a bit more grounding. Ah well.

In the crowd and ovating standily: Emma's EastEnders castmates Perry Fenwick, Jamie Borthwick, and Davood Ghadami, and also last year's Musicals Week eliminee Chucky Venice. Chris apologises to whoever he flung his hat at back at the start of the routine, and someone in the front row politely hands it back to him. What a star! Chris tells Tess it was really good fun, and Tess welcomes our singers: Hayley, Nick, Andrea and Tommy, and of course Dave Arch and his awesome orchestra. Shirley opens by congratulating "our novice" for giving everything that was open and theatrical 100 per cent, and in many places in closed hold he stayed completely on time, but it did need a bit more swing and stride. She was pleased with it as an opener, though. Bruno says that this Artful Dodger knows how to put on a show, and he loved all the character driven moments. He felt that the foxtrot parts felt like intermissions between acts though, and those elements needed to be more refined. Craig says it did lack movement around the floor and the foxtrot was carefully placed rather than danced, but he loved the polka and the gallop. (Applauding next to Chucky Venice: last year's Musicals Week leaderboard-topper Faye Tozer.) Motsi felt like the open parts were fantastic, particularly the end - but of the tiny foxtrot she saw, she's going to pretend it wasn't there. And, in all honesty, that probably won't take too much effort.

They consider themselves at home in the Clauditorium, and Chris says that he was really surprised at how much he enjoyed this dance - mostly because it was daft and therefore right up his street. He says that he loved it from Monday, which never happens: he hasn't cried once this week! Scores: Craig 6, Motsi 7, Shirley 8, Bruno 7 for a total of 28 - Chris's highest score in ballroom. Chris is pleased to have got a six from Craig, as he would have settled for five-and-a-half.

Reading the terms and conditions, disguised as the Phantom of the Opera and struggling slightly with his mask? Gareth Malone.

Alex & Neil

I'm not saying there's necessarily an agenda at play tonight but Chris and Karen on first, then Alex in the death slot with a samba? There may be an indication here of the producers' preferred final three, I shall say nothing more. In her VT, Alex recalls getting accidentally attached to Neil in their Argentine tango last week and having to muddle through the rest of their routine as best they could. Still, she's just going to move it on and focus on what lies ahead this week. Oops! It's the samba, and they're doing Sister Act (2: Back In The Habit). It turns out that Alex is a big ol' Sister Act (2: Back In The Habit) stan because she loves the story of underprivileged kids who had been left behind finally being taken seriously thanks to their love of music and dance. In training, Alex is busy working on nailing the bounce action when a gospel choir turns up - the sort of thing that could happen to anyone. The choir sing 'Joyful, Joyful' for them and Alex says that she feels joyful and she wants everyone at home to feel joyful. Hmm, as a message it's a bit on the nose, but I'll allow it.

So it's a samba with a bit of a street/commercial element to it, and I think it's fair to say that Alex is by far the contestant who got the most hosed this week in terms of costume, dance draw and the running order, but you know what? I like this routine. It's cheesy as hell, but I think Alex dances it well, and the whole thing is just fun on its own terms, particularly compared to some of the routines we're going to see later tonight that are full on I WANT TO BE IN THE FINAL going like the clappers. It's not the most technically accomplished routine of the night, but it's probably the one I'd be most inclined to rewatch on YouTube later. [Eh, it wasn't really for me, but it was still better than anything we had last week - Rad]

Bruno tells Alex that it was kind of a street-commercial flavoured samba (see, I told you), but the problem with that is that street-commercial rhythms necessitate the accents on the down beat, which is wrong for the samba, so it's not a fusion that particularly helps either party. He's finding it difficult to judge, because the samba was danced in a hip-hop way and that's put the judges in a weird position. I mean...in week 11, we're finally going to start caring about this? Because this is not even slightly the first time that it's happened. Craig tells Bruno that he "quite likes weird positions" (more than I needed to know, thanks) and he liked the samba/street fusion, because it was refreshing. But he does agree with Bruno that it could have done with more bounce and hip action. Motsi loved it and says that Alex was having the time of her life (dirty bit) - yes, there should have been more samba and more in the body, but she compensated well and really gave them a show. Shirley says that if there was a trophy to be given for personality from the waist upwards (???) it would go to Alex. Poor Alex and her boring legs. All the solo hip-hop stuff she thought was exquisite, but there was too much repetition and not enough content for her liking - she wanted more samba, dammit.

Alex and Neil take it to church (/the Clauditorium), where Alex says that she's been living her best life this week and she just wanted everyone to have fun. Neil confirms, as he's said elsewhere this week, that Alex has wanted to dance to this song from the beginning but he made her wait until Musicals Week [Even though it is not a musical - Rad], which was a bit of a gamble considering I don't think I'd have bet money on Alex making it this far at the start of the competition but...he was right, so what do I know? Scores: Craig 6, Motsi 7, Shirley 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 27 - up on last week, but lower than Chris and I'm not entirely sure I agree with that.

Kelvin & Oti

Arguably the highlight of Tess and Claudia's intro skit where they are sitting in a mock-up tavern is Tess doing her best French pronunciation of 'Gaston'. Claudia snarks that they got the antler-shaped chandelier thanks to Black Friday, and we head from there into the VT wherein Kelvin says that he's a massive musical theatre fan. I am, let's just say, not wholly convinced by this. Oti tells Kelvin that he will be playing Gaston, who is very overly sure and confident, which will be a bit of a switch of character for Kelvin but she's sure he'll be able to pull it off because he's such an incredible actor. Yeah, I mean I don't spend a lot of time on Kelvin's Instagram (honest) but the impression I take away from what I have seen is emphatically not "person who's really going to have to dig deep into their acting bag of tricks to play a narcissistic alpha male", sorry. Luke Evans - Gaston from the live-action film - pops in to offer them some advice on how to nail the character, and Luke says that the trick to playing Gaston is to come across as someone who seems harmless enough at the beginning but turns into a monster the more you find out about him. Again: not seeing this as a stretch for Kelvin. (He also says that he played him as a combination of Elvis and Tom Jones, which is intriguing.) Anyway, Kelvin's excited to play the role now he's met Luke, hooray.

To the great disappointment of all the thirsty gays, Kelvin has been styled as Live Action Gaston rather than Cartoon Gaston, which means he's in a full-sleeved shirt rather than a t-shirt - sorry boys. Anyway, if we're assuming more subtle messaging at play tonight, a song all about what a great guy Gaston is (even if we know it later proves rather hollow) and how everyone loves him shouldn't do Kelvin any harm. I mean, it literally has the line "10 points for Gaston!" in it, for goodness' sake. In terms of the American smooth, it's fine, I'd say it's a bit of an improvement on his earlier Viennese waltz but I'm not really feeling the routine as a whole. It just feels a bit stop-and-starty to me, and while I appreciate Kelvin's a better dancer than Chris or Alex are ever going to be, their routines both felt like they were sharing the fun with the audience in a way that this one just doesn't, really, for me. Still, it goes down very well in the room and I'm sure I'm very much in a minority in feeling that way about it.

Craig would like him to think ahead of the timing in the Viennese sections ever so slightly, but the spotting was clean and the VW section overall was beautiful. He loved the characterisation too. Motsi tells Kelvin that he came in as a surprise and wowed them with his samba, and today we've seen everything come together in terms of his improvement since then: his topline, his timing (and she fully directs this at Craig, heh), his acting - it was beautiful and elegant and she loved it. Shirley says it was outstanding on so many levels and she completely disagrees with Craig - she thought he was "in the pocket of the music" as they say in the dance world. She thinks he is fantastic. Bruno winds up for the judges by slavering over Kelvin's beauty and campness, and he says that he and Shirley were counting the timing all the way through and it was perfect, so there.

No one runs up to the Clauditorium like Gaston, and Kelvin says that he loves his wig-and-ponytail combo and he just wants to keep giving it an elaborate flick. (Between Blackpool and this week, I'm inclined to say that Kelvin is not one of life's natural wig wearers. He ain't no Ruth Langsford, know that.) He really wanted to come back to ballroom and improve his topline while losing the incorrect rise and fall from his previous attempt at the Viennese waltz. Claudia gives a shout-out to Kelvin's dad who he was really mean to last week, and then it's over to the judges for their scores: Craig 9, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39 - the highest-scoring American smooth of the series.

Karim & Amy

Amy opens the VT by saying that last week was emotional - not just being in the dance-off, but doing a big contempowaft couple's choice number in the first place. Karim says being able to do the number really showed him how much he loves being on this show, but being in the dance-off was "disheartening". Nonetheless, he thinks he and Amy have a very strong partnership so they can handle whatever gets thrown at them. This week they've got a jive to 'You Can't Stop The Beat' from Hairspray, a perennial favourite on this show having already been deployed by Austin Healey (ROBBED!), Anita Dobson and Mark Benton. Karim says it's very important to get the flicks and kicks right and make sure that his feet are pointed and don't look lazy or laboured. Now, who's the special guest that Amy's got lined up for him: Ricki Lake? Nikki Blonsky? Zac Efron? Close: Michael Ball! Michael tells Karim that he's never missed a show (all right, Patti LuPone) and that he thinks Karim is just phenomenal. He reminds Karim that the song is about kids changing the world through joy and belief and enthusiasm, and he just needs to nail that energy - and then turns right to the camera and tells Craig to get that 10 out already, just so we know what the narrative is for this one.

So this is Karim's big comeback moment, obviously, and boy is he grabbing it with both hands. There's a lot of energy in this routine - I know we expect nothing less from Karim but even by his own standards he is really going for it. Personally I would say that makes some of the kicks a little bit sloppy just in the sense that his own leg can't quite keep up with the rest of him [Yeah, there were some clear issues with the technique there that I thought would have 9d it had it not already been clearly scripted to get a 10 - to be fair, it looked like the technique was amazing in the training footage though - Rad], but it's hard not to be won over by the sheer force of this routine. Speaking of: they've even built in a false finish just so we can be taken by surprise by Karim doing six pirouettes as the real finale. (Personally, I think he hasn't really got his leg up high enough and that move isn't quite impressive enough to justify its inclusion, but maybe that's just me.)

When it ends, three out of four judges are on their feet (no you don't need me to tell you which three) and the crowd is just whooping and whooping. Motsi refuses to sit down, so it's a good job she's opening for the judges: she tells Karim that she's shaking and if she tried that dance she'd be dead by the end of it. She says that she's not sitting down, and tells Karim to "come to mamma" and hands him her 10 paddle. You know what? I don't even care if Motsi's critiques aren't generally that coherent, I hope she stays forever. Karim very sensibly hands it back to her before returning to his spot next to Tess, although it would be quite funny if this gesture of unqualified support left Motsi unable to give him anything higher than a 9. Shirley congratulates him on his mind-strength to come back after being in the bottom two and deliver a flawless performance and a high quality of technique. She says that even though she teaches high-level professionals, Karim has just inspired her. Bruno says that he's got shivers going down his spine, and he has seen a lot of jives during his time on the show - but he thinks this is the best one he's ever seen. And cue the flame wars from the stans of Jay/Jill/Austin/Ore/Scott/Chelsee/Louisa/we could be here all night couldn't we? Craig says that it's such a terrible shame, and stands up and applauds. Guess Karim's getting that first Craig 10 of the series then!

They do not stop the beat all the way up to the Clauditorium, where he's greeting by scores of "we're not worthy" waves from the rest of the cast. Claudia says that Kevin Clifton "was emotional" in response to that, and Karim says that Amy was brilliant in keeping his spirits up after last week: she's like his best friend and they worked so hard to deliver it this week. Scores: tens! tens across the board! for a perfect score of 40. Motsi's so delighted by this that she kisses Craig on the cheek and leaves a big lipstick mark right across him, tee hee. Gorka gives Karim the bumps and Chris pulls him into a hug, while Jamie Laing weeps at having been so easily forgotten. [I loved how everyone went mental at the Craig 10 and didn't even bother waiting to hear the others, because 40's such a foregone conclusion when he gets his 10 out these days - Rad]

Emma & Anton

Emma says that she had a massive fire in her belly last Saturday - I had one this Saturday, but my husband made chilli con carne for dinner so that probably explains it - but then she missed one hop in her quickstep and it had a knock-on effect. I love how keen she is to downplay the fact that basically the entire second half of the routine fell apart. This week it's Emma's favourite week, and she's dancing to Thoroughly Modern Millie. Emma says she's never seen it, but adds that according to the internet she's performed in it, and that's "simply not true". Well, maybe you should tell your agent that then hon:

#awkward 

They're doing the charleston, and Anton says that Emma's swivel is brilliant, which is good because that's basically all anyone cares about when marking it. Emma says that having to repeat it over and over in rehearsals is pretty exhausting, and her legs hurt, but she's loving it. She's a bit nervous about having to do a lift, but she really wants Craig to say "fab-yew-lous" darling, since everyone's in the business of getting their wishes granted by Craig tonight. [It was a bit weird just how needy they all were for Craig to like them tonight.  Why does no-one ever care about Bruno's approval? - Rad]

They're dancing to 'Thoroughly Modern Millie', the actual song, and this whole week is playing right into Emma's strength because she gets to be goofy and to play it right to the back of the room (and by "the room" I don't mean the studio, I mean the room that I am in, now, 15km from Elstree studios). I tell you what though, this is easily the best performance she's given the whole time she's been on the show - is Emma Barton one of those people who's just getting a really well-timed second wind? She's certainly dancing the whole thing better than Anton is, which I know shouldn't technically be a surprise, but she is well and truly leaving him in the dust. He might as well be one of the day players for how much he matters in this routine. [He was awful.  She was ALL FACE which is how they like their Charlestons on this show, though I don't think anyone else will ever pull one quite so manic.  The Charleston was always going to suit her but getting it in musicals week as well seems a very good stroke of luck/storylining/Anton paying someone a lot of money to manipulate the draw/etc - Rad]

Shirley tells Emma that she just fast-tracked her way into the final with that performance - it was synchronised and on point, and her personality and authenticity and footwork and swivels were all fantastic. (Sidebar: anyone else feeling like they're getting whiplash this series? Saffron and Michelle went from being frontrunners to being swiftly dispatched without their descent even really being acknowledged by the judges, and now Emma's being bigged up for the final as though the judges didn't spend half the series slating her? It's odd.) [This series is odd all round - Rad.] Bruno calls her "Thoroughly Delicious Emma" and says it was a genuine 1920s-style charleston that wasn't overdone (your mileage may vary), and he particularly loved the inclusion of the Josephine Baker step. Craig gets all giggly and wonders if bringing out that 10 has had an adverse affect on him - it was classic, classy and, yes, fab-yew-lous. Motsi says that Emma was the icing on top of a fantastic evening an she brought "female power" to the night. (Sucks to be Alex, I guess.)

Emma and Anton thoroughly modernly rush up to the Clauditorium where Emma says that she felt like she was on a mission to do it right, and she got her fab-yew-lous from Craig so she's happy. Scores: Craig 9, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39 - Emma's highest score so far. 

Leaderboard

1. Karim & Amy - 40

2=. Kelvin & Oti - 39

2=. Emma & Anton - 39

4. Chris & Karen - 28

5. Alex & Neil - 27

Hmm. I think this leaderboard is trying to tell me something, but I just can't figure out what it is...

Claudia declares the vote open (unless you happen to be trying to vote online, in which case you'll either get a message saying it isn't open yet or that you've already reached your maximum voting allowance for the next 10 minutes or so, sending everyone slightly mad). We recap Chris considering himself at home; Alex feeling joyful, joyful; Kelvin being intimidating as a specimen; Karim being unable to stop the beat or the pirouettes; and Emma being a throughly modern flapper.

One more couple's going home tomorrow, and unless there's a sudden crash in Emma's vote which I'm not really seeing very likely, it looks like it will probably be Alex and Neil. Join us for the results recap to see if we're right!