Saturday 12 December 2020

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

 Monday


- Zoe lives for Johannes, Giovanni and Gorka in drag.
- JJ is currently the fittest he has been in his post-surgery body, and that's as good as any prize as far as Amy is concerned.
- JJ has taught Amy to have a new outlook on life.
- JJ misjudged Jamie coming into the competition - he didn't say precisely how, but the suggestion is that he thought he was going to be a bit of a bellend.
- Ian thought Gethin's jive was overmarked and standards have improved since then. Miaow!
- Zoe didn't like her outfit for the jive. Or the dance itself, and rumour has it she can't hear 'Part Time Lover' anymore because of the routine.
- The jive was Ian's last-ever competitive dance on Strictly (unless you count the week he stood in for Brendan during series 8).
- Amy was not feeling too confident about her performance in the pro challenge, and watching it back she thinks her technique looks horrendous.
- Amy completed 23 fleckerls with two disqualifications, putting her joint top with Johannes and Nancy, so she needn't have worried.
- General consensus is that Gorka and Neil are the silliest pros backstage, and that Katya is the hardest trainer (Oti thinks she is, however, quelle surprise).
- Most of the pros prefer comedy to horror, except Neil, Johannes and Giovanni.
- Janette thinks Musicals Week is the best week to take a risk.
- HRVY's tailcoat was very tight under the arms.
- Tails are great for male celebs' ballroom frame because there's no room for movement.
- HRVY preferred his American smooth to his Couple's Choice.
- Janette hopes that it will be an advantage that no one else has done a rumba this year.
- Zoe is a rumba fan. HRVY is not.
- HRVY and Janette will be doing the only rumba this series. *Glares at Gorka and Maisie's dance card*.
- HRVY's other dance for this week is a charleston.

Tuesday


- Karen thinks she did poorly in the pro challenge this year, because she didn't have the right approach or the right footwear,
- Dianne is hungry for a title. Maybe she could be a Viscountess? Surely there's a vacancy now that Emma Weymouth has been promoted to a Marchioness. (We aren't entirely sure how that whole system works but it must be along those lines.)
- Karen did 23 fleckerls with zero disqualifications, and Dianne did 24 with one disqualification, so they are now joint top of the leaderboard.
- Karen is envious of what Luba has and wants to become her... in this week's pro dance.
- This week's pro dance will also have a rotating stage.
- Flavia can't say 'fantasmagorical'.
- Flavia would have liked to see more drive in Ranvir's Viennese waltz and more technique in Jamie's jive.
- HRVY has an ideal body for ballroom because he has a long neck and sloping shoulders.
- Dianne uses eyeshadow with no pigment whatsoever.
- Emma Barton's salsa apparently qualifies as an iconic make-up look.
- Jamie thinks that running around with a desk should be an Olympic sport. 
- Jamie Campbell thinks Jamie Laing did a fab job.
- Jamie is doing a quickstep to a song that sounds like the 'Pancake Madness' song from Sabrina The Teenage Witch.
- Karen wants to feed chickens in their quickstep.
- They're also dancing a salsa to 'Last Dance', how subtle.

Wednesday

- Bill's heel leads need some work.
- Ian thinks HRVY 'was only a beginner a couple of months ago'.  Mmmm-hmmmmm.
- Jamie isn't yet going up and down at the same time as Karen in their quickstep.
- Ranvir's jive training footage looks baaaad.
- The fabric for HRVY and Janette's American smooth outfits sprayed sequins everywhere when it was cut and required a lot of vacuuming upwards.
- Men's tailoring is expensive, so Vicky Gill repurposes and reuses a lot of it.
- The wardrobe team use approximately 2 million 'sparkles' across a series.
- Amy's charleston skirt had a lot of fringing removed at the last minute, and JJ's waistcoat colour was changed.
- Neil did 26 fleckerls and had two disqualified, which puts him top of the leaderboard with 24.
- Maisie and Gorka are doing neither the Argentine Tango nor the rumba this series, despite being the most likely couple to do them well, what the fuck. (We're getting more street commercial instead yay).
- The rumba is allegedly most pros' favourite dance despite the fact no-one chooses to do one.
- The key to rumba is imagining you have an apple under your armpit.
- Jamie gets Ian's sticker for "Most Improved" this week.
- As Ian didn't get to drag up for Halloween this year, he'll be donning Christmas fancy dress instead and the possible costumes look shit, what's the point.
- The jive was Maisie's favourite dance so far.
- Gorka and Gemma wear the same size shoes, so sometimes he borrows hers.
- Maisie's stamina is "not the best" - she is "not very cardiovascular".
- Maisie and Gorka did their jive 14 times in an hour last Thursday.
- Khloe Kardashian is a Maisie fan, which Maisie finds a bit weird.
- Gorka knows how to make Craig happy, but he is not sure he would be allowed to do that on television.
- Maisie loves street commercial, Gorka does not. Still not too late to switch it for an Argentine tango, Gorks.

Thursday


- Maisie has tripped Gorka up a few times in training for the Viennese waltz. Apparently he is very "dramatic" when it happens.
- Ranvir would like to pretend it's hard learning a waltz straight off the back of its Viennese version.
- Ranvir is a bit sad that she hasn't had time to enjoy how well her Viennese waltz went.
- Ranvir is now the highest-placing Good Morning Britain presenter in Strictly history. We aren't allowed to count Susanna because she was still on Breakfast at the time.
- Giovanni likes to boast about his Guinness world records.
- Giovanni thinks their jive 'will be better than people think it's going to be'. 
- Vicky Gill's bookkeeper is called Janet.
- Giovanni hasn't won the pro challenge, because he scored 24 fleckerls with two disqualifications. 
- Bill has never seen a phantom with a beard, but he thinks it suits the character because he's "a single man with a few issues".
- Bill never complains, so Oti has to force him to the physio to get checked.
- Bill looked like a Blue Peter presenter in the late 70s/early 80s.
- Bill has tried doing Instagram Stories but he can't get the volume up on his phone.
- Bill's real name is Mark, but "Bill" stuck after one of his teachers kept referencing the song 'Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey?'

Friday


- Maisie has survived her week from hell, thanks to a lot of coffee and energy drinks.
- This week's Friday panel is Mel Giedroyc, Judi Love and Mollie King.
- Mel thinks this series has been 'a ruddy beacon'.
- Mel thinks HRVY might win.
- Ranvir gives Judi goosebumps.
- People apparently love a Viennese Waltz. Not me. And not least because after however many years of blogging, I can still never spell it correctly.
- Mel would like to see Bill do something a bit special with his hair in the tango.
- HRVY thinks a rumba is just a slow cha cha.
- HRVY and Janette's charleston involves a lot of props and scenery.
- Nadiya isn't fazed by fleckerls.
- Graziano did 32 (!) fleckerls with 14 disqualifications, leaving him with 18. Nadiya did 25 fleckerls with zero disqualifications, and is this year's record-breaking champion!
- Ranvir texts Giovanni just after 3am each morning.
- Rylan cares not for the 'rumba is difficult for men' line, huzzah.
- Mel thinks Jamie and Karen are going home, Mollie also thinks Jamie and Karen, and Judi thinks Jamie and Karen too, making it a clean sweep.
- Beverley Knight has a Christmas song out.

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