This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- The show's in a new studio! It's in lovely Television Centre, from The Olden Days.
- Zoe owns some silver mirror boots that are pretty instagrammable.
- Camilla is still going by Camilla Sacre-Dallerup these days, so that's nice. Good for her.
- Brendan could feel the terror in Charlotte when he took her in hold.
- Zoe's still a little foggy on whether the show has been on for 15 series or 15 years.
- Brendan's arguing with Shirley on the finer technicalities of Charlotte's dance already.
- The highest first week score for a Good Morning Britain presenter is 28 for Susanna's jive, except she wasn't actually on Good Morning Britain at the time. Indeed, Charlotte is the first presenter to actually come from Good Morning Britain, technically speaking, because it was called GMTV Today when Kate Garraway did the show and Daybreak when Richard Arnold did it, and of course Susanna Reid was still a BBC employee while she was on.
- Brendan doesn't think you can compare performances and scores from different years.
- Brendan doesn't think Charlotte is a natural performer.
- Ruth does not want to hear any more people telling her she'll be fine because she's done lots of live telly before.
- Dancing on Strictly is like open heart surgery, because lots of people are depending on you.
- Chizzy's cha cha cha was the best live performance she's ever done.
- Chizzy has been stealthily using Pasha's phone to tweet how funny she is.
- Pasha is maybe the 10th or 11th funniest person Chizzy knows.
- Craig's dancing at Ian Waite's wedding was quite something apparently.
- Karen Hardy "cannot be with us this series". No explanation given.
- Camilla Sacre-Dallerup is a life coach in LA now and has written two self-help books. Imagine.
- Being the oldest man in the competition automatically makes Brian a legend.  According to Zoe('s scriptwriter).
- Good luck trying to find out anything about Amy Dowden because Brian doesn't seem to have any intention of letting her get a word in.
- Amy can't wave.
- Brian thought their score was OK until he realised they were bottom of the scoreboard.
- Brian tells everyone, including people in the sandwich shop, that Amy is the current World Latin champion
- Brian just wants to impress his daughter, because she googled him on Sunday and found out he was "lower than Ann Widdecombe". In every possible sense.
- Debbie didn't realise how hard she'd pushed Giovanni to the floor until afterwards. Uh-huh, sure Debs.

- Giovanni knows that the way he says “Debbie” sounds amusing.
- Giovanni is already familiar with the cheeky and naughty Debbie McGee.  I bet he is etc.
- Debbie hasn't danced for ages so doesn't count as a ringer.  Mmm-hmm.

- Debbie has had some complaints about her head.

- We’re getting our obligatory salsa to 'Despacito' out of the way nice and early this year.

- Gorka smells incredible.
- The show has multiple golden orange mullet wigs in its cupboard
- Davood didn’t realise how see-through his shirt was on Saturday until he saw a clip.
- Zoe thinks there's been a long tradition of EastEnders stars doing well on Strictly.  Which is a somewhat, erm, selective take on history.
- 'Karma Camill-eon' is one of the best/worst puns used on this show in some time.  'Great British Burke Off' is just plain bad, however.
- The key to good New Yorkers in the cha cha cha is to keep your steps small and your feet quite close together.
- Camilla's praise of Simon's routine extends to 'he was in it.'

- Judging by his use of “you know” and “at the end of the day”, Gorka must have been watching Match Of The Day to practice his English.
- Zoe is an unlikely Tameka stan.

- Alexandra is feeling too zen to do the paso doble, which is quite strange to imagine.
- Gorka is allowing Alexandra to have coffee again this week.

- Aston’s mum is a big Strictly fan and has been giving him lots of tips from an insider’s perspective.

- Janette’s dad sang at her wedding to Aljaž.
- Janette always loves week one.  Because she is always still in the competition at that point, presumably.
- Aston has never had 'college' dance training and is therefore NOT A RINGER.
- Aston and Janette nearly broke each other doing a lift in rehearsals.
- Karen thinks the waltz is one of the hardest Strictly dances.  Sure, hun, that's why it always used to be the starter dance.
- Apparently Simon’s stopped bringing food to rehearsals, because Karen has started biting him.

- Mollie thinks the problem with her jive was that she was having too much fun.

- Mollie has come up with the character of “Tallulah the Tango Queen” for Saturday, just in case you were wondering how posh she is.
- Mollie calls the launch show 'the coupling show'.
- Debbie McGee has a collection of colourful training outfits.
- Gemma reminds Ian Waite of Zoe.
- You don't want hands like bananas, you do want the thumb to resemble a chicken drumstick.  Thanks, Ian!
- Brian's cha cha rehearsal footage looks a lot like a charleston.
- Ian has been paying close attention to Davood's backside.
- Ruth apparently had a total “blue screen of death” moment right before her waltz.
- Ruth and Anton had a difference of opinion from the waist down.  Ooo-err.
- Eammon could see how scared Ruth was before her dance.
- Anton and Ruth's training footage for the charleston looks like a car crash.
- But still better than Zoe's attempt to replicate it.
- Susan and Kevin's training footage has been done on a cameraphone, possibly because the show doesn't have the budget to send actual cameras up to Scotland.
- Ian pronounces 'notoriously' as 'no-two-russly'.
- Aston has taken to wearing a top-knot in training.
- According to Ian, Janette is a “former world salsa champion or whatever she is”.

- Dianne has taught Richard some “de-twanging techniques” for when he has problems with his harness.

- Dianne calls Richard “Revvo”. Because she is Australian.
- Richard forgot some of his arm movements on Saturday.

- Richard doesn’t think he’s a national treasure, but possibly a national trinket.
- Richard has never had good rhythm, despite being a musician.
- One of their lifts involves Dianne using Richard's paunch as a shelf.

- Just in case Joe and Katya didn’t upset the Jay fans enough on Saturday, Katya trained Joe in the jive by telling him to “do the Ore kicks”.
- Joe is upping the MOST SCOTTISH wars with Susan this week in the theme of his dance.
- Katya steered the wardrobe team and dancers in how to achieve the costume change from pink to white dresses in Saturday's pro dance.
- Charlotte has a figure very close to a professional dancer’s, according to Vicky Gill.

- Gemma is not ‘on the left’ enough in her waltz yet.
- Aljaž is working on his Bury accent and has learnt to say “our kid”.

- Shirley’s not much of an actress.

- Gethin is back as the backstage reporter. Hooray!

- Kevin had to have a felt-tip moustache because he couldn’t grow one under his own steam. Bless.

- Zoe thinks Kevin is Grimsby's finest export. HARRUMPH.
- Susan's taken to wearing a sequinned top that matches the set.
- It was Kevin's idea to be a matinee idol on Saturday. Probably because he's fed up of it always being Giovanni or Aljaž, although for some reason he decided to channel Anton.
- Zoe is trying to make 'social meeds' happen.  Nope.
- Susan took Kevin to have tea with JK Rowling and he brought a little bag of Harry Potter stuff with him.
- Which presumably explains the Harry Potter style glasses he's taken to wearing.
- Like Davood, Jonnie has been finding a lot of glitter in his bathtub already.
- The promo footage is filmed in a light tunnel and it looks like a lot of fun, to be honest.
- Alexandra has decided Gorka is a 'goofball' like her.
- Zoe's idea of 'the best' Friday panel includes That Marian Keyes Who Was Very Curt About AJ On Twitter How Dare She (yes), Jodie Kidd (if you like) and Melvin Odoom (*shudders at the memory of Christmas*).
- This show isn't sure if Strictly gets 10 or 12 million viewers.
- Zoe calls Gorka 'G to the C'
- Melvin DJed at Janette’s wedding. Does that mean Peter Andre didn’t sing?
- Marian thinks Susan is the nation's sweetheart.  Somewhere, Cheryl Cole is calling her agent.
- Jodie thinks AJ and Mollie are a perfect couple.  She seems to be watching a different show to the rest of us.
- Debbie isn't quite on message with the usual 'Viennese Waltz is so hard it makes me wanna throw up' narrative, stopping just short of saying it's easy.
- Gethin is, like the rest of the nation, here for the Debbie/Giovanni relationship.
- Giovanni is still claiming that That Kiss was unrehearsed. Sure, hon.

- Jonnie thinks Oti is patient, despite what she would have you think.

- Somehow Jonnie is just getting handsomer.

- Jason Gilkison gave Jonnie his first and second compliments of the week.  During Saturday's rehearsals.

- Oti is a woman of few words when it comes to text messages.

- Jonnie will be dancing the jive on his blade because he can’t point his toes on his prosthetic leg, and the blade has more bounce.

- Oti is a little in love with Jonnie's blade.  Fnar.
- Karen Clifton is now the longest-serving female pro on the show. THINK ON THAT.
- Simon's daughter Flo watched Saturday's show in the pub so seems to have had a good fresher's week.

 James Martin sent Simon a good luck message in the first week. Since then, Simon’s heard nothing.

- Charlotte has been falling over a lot in cha cha cha rehearsals. *makes ‘drinky drinky’ motion*

- Talent executive Vinnie Shergill wouldn’t put a short dancer with a very tall celebrity. Apparently they’ve learned their lessons from The Colin Salmon Incident.

- The zip on Shirley's dress broke just before she went on on Saturday.
- Shirley is a big fan of public transport, but she doesn't get noticed on the train because people are too busy on their 'cell'phones.
- Mark Ballas has just finished playing Frankie Valli on Broadway.
- Shirley used to be nicknamed 'Twirly Shirley'
- Shirley wants to dance with Anton on the show at some point.
- Shirley doesn’t think the dance-off is a pleasant role for anybody. She’s not wrong.
- There’s a bowling themed pro routine this weekend which apparently involves Gorka not being very good at bowling. NO GORKA IS PERFECT WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS.
- Marian Keyes doesn't watch 'the Enders'.
- Melvin thinks the paso is a hard dance to do in the first week. With the greatest of respect: how would he know?
- Jodie thinks it's between Simon and Brian leaving this week, Melvin can't talk about it because it was him last year and Marian thinks 'please don't let it be Simon'.

- Brian’s hurt himself this week.

- Gethin has now moved on to flirting with Pasha. Gorka isn’t going to be happy about this.

- ITT goddess Chloe has been mostly MIA and we'd like her back next week please.