Fleeing double

Semi-final, part two: 11th December 2010

Tess's mysterious glitterball (capable of predicting the past with 95% accuracy) informs us that it's Ballroom Judgement Night. I was under the impression that it had been thus every Saturday since the competition began, since all of those weeks have included Ballroom and Judgement. The glitterball dream remains alive for the final five, who have one last chance to convince the judges and the public that they deserve to make the final, even though most of the people voting probably made their minds up at least four weeks ago in terms of who they wanted to win. Last night, Gavin (unsurprisingly) and Matt (quite surprisingly) got negative reviews for their samba and salsa respectively, while Alesha declared Pamela a woman on a mission, whoa-oh-oh-oh-ooooooh, and also there was some kind of swingathon or something. This weekend, there's double the nerves, double the tension, and double the sad woobie faces of the recently eliminated. This! Is Strictly Come Dancing 2010!

Titles. I love how three of the semi-finalists are grouped together in this sequence, and also happen to be the three that I'm tipping for the final (that's Pamela, Matt and Kara, just in case you hadn't worked it out).

From Television Centre once again, we have a Bruce and we have a Tess. I think the fact that we have to endure her for three successive nights this week is going to put us all well over our Recommended Daly Allowance. Daly Dresswatch: an asymmetric purple number with one sleeve and one bare arm, which I rather like, although it does clamp down rather firmly around the boobs. She'll have someone's eye out with those. Vincent is in the audience, as is Zöe Lucker. Tess opines that last night's show was rather marvellous, and she particularly enjoyed the swingathon. Bruce was less keen, because those big flowery dresses worn by the ladies were made out of material nicked from his dressing room curtains. Wah wahhhh. Seriously, who made Bruce's dressing room curtains - Cath Kidston? Tess: "If you thought last night was good, wait 'til tonight." My boyfriend: "Um...I did?" Tess continues that as well as the five finalists, we also have five more people who never expected to make it this far: Take That. Karen Hardy applauds enthusiastically from the audience; I have a Robbie-and-Gary flashback from earlier in the series and bang my head against the wall.

Time to meet the stars of our show: Scott and Natalie, ready for a sailors' hornpipe; Matt and Aliona, ready for a performance of Bugsy Malone; Kara and Artem, ready for the new BBC3 documentary When Hair Extensions Attack; Pamela and James, ready for Bradford And Bingley: A Musical Love Story and Gavin and Katya, ready to be eliminated tomorrow. Bruce cracks a joke about it being hard to tell which are the celebrities and the professionals, because the pros are acting like divas. That's as close as it gets to a punchline, I'm afraid. Tess reminds us of the scores after last night, with Kara topping the leaderboard, Pamela in second, Scott third, Matt fourth (!) and Gavin fifth, and Bruce reminds us that the two couples with the lowest combined scores will be booted unceremoniously "tomorrow". "It's ballroom, baby, and people get hurt!" grins Tess. This goes down like the proverbial lead balloon.

First to dance tonight are Scott and Natalie, with their nautically-themed charleston. For tonight's show, each contestant is going to get Their Semi-Final Story for their VT, complete with judges' evaluations of their Journey. Scott's Argentine tango got "yeah, s'pose, it was all right *shrug*" responses from the panel last night, and Scott admits to being "a bit gutted" because he didn't do it as well as he should've done. The judges deliberate over Scott's progress, and Alesha states that he's had "ups and downs". The term is "rise and fall", Alesha, God, BRING BACK ARLENE. (Just kidding, I don't want Arlene back at all, don't try to recruit me for your Facebook petition.) Len reasons that when Scott's bad, he's terrible. They revisit his samba, and Len asks Craig if it really deserved a six. "No, when I look at it, it deserved a five," Craig retorts. Len scowls, Alesha claps. Len says that Scott has to become more consistent, and Craig cites Scott's problems with his hips. "They're either too soft or too stiff," agrees Len, "and I like a stiff one every time." Alesha collapses with giggles. The judges remember his jive fondly, but realise that nothing much of note followed it. His tendency to blank on the dancefloor recently has also been a problem. Len thinks charleston will suit him, while Craig thinks there's still a question mark over him. Alesha and Bruno agree that you never know what will happen. Scott vows to give it his best shot.

They're dancing to 'Anything Goes', and it's at this point that I realise I've never had the pleasure of seeing a Natalie Lowe Charleston Face before. I do hope I'm not going to be disappointed. It's a bit of a mixed bag, choreographically - Scott does well with the goofy swinging of his legs, but the parts that involve him supporting Natalie for the more gymnastic manoeuvres are quite stuttery, and his face looks quite nervous. His musicality in this song is pretty good, though, and he manages to flail his arms while still seeming in control, which is quite impressive. Speaking of impressive, there are many wonderful Natalie Lowe Charleston Faces, so I am very happy.

Bruce introduces the "wise old birds" that constitute the judges. Bruno is "an old mother hen" (homophobe!), Alesha is "as pretty as a peacock", Len has "the eyes of a hawk", and if Craig keeps upsetting people, he'll be "dead as a dodo". Oh dear. Bruce teases Bruno by letting him think that he's going to open for the judges but instead throws to Len, who says that the fight for the final starts now, and that charleston has done Scott no harm at all. He saw lots of the steps he wanted, was pleased that it wasn't too gimmick-heavy, and despite a few stumbles, he thought it was fun. Alesha thinks it was good old-fashioned entertainment with great swivels, and it was full of personality. Bruno thinks that "after seven months at sea you've found a flapper and you're ready for action." He thinks that Scott gave entertainment, exuberance and comedy in the dance, which is what the charleston needs. Craig didn't like the opening sequence and thought Scott overbalanced horribly in the dip, to the point of nearly dropping Natalie, but he thought that overall it was cute and quirky and he enjoyed it.

They run up to the Tess Circle - Natalie actually full-on flapper-runs up there, God bless her. Method to the very end, clearly - and Tess asks Scott how it's going, since he's done three dances in less than 24 hours. It doesn't really sound that strenuous when she puts it like that, does it? Scott burbles about being grateful to the viewers for saving him from the bottom two, even though those same viewers landed him there in the first place, and says that being so close to the final, he wants to go on and get better. Tess garbles that the next time they'll see him dancing will either be in the final or...never. Surely the next time we'll see him dance will be in the final either way? The eliminated celebrities all return for a last hurrah at that point, unless they're Tuffers and they're ill, or they're Laila Rouass and they don't really give a rat's ass. Scores: Craig 8, Len 9, Alesha 9, Bruno 9 for a total of 35, and an overall score of 70 for the weekend. Natalie declares that "beautiful" and they high-five.

The next couple is Kara and Artem, on second for the second night in a row. The judges loved their Viennese waltz last night and they got three tens for their troubles. However, Kara's still a Cautious Carol and notes that they can't rest on their laurels even though they're top of the leaderboard, because there's still another dance to come. Over to the judges: Len thinks Kara's talented, and Alesha thinks they're lucky to have such natural chemistry. Len worries that she's too careful and timid in her dances, like in her charleston, and says that great dancing is about "dancing on the edge". I would've thought that would give you terrible balance problems, myself. Alesha recalls Kara's paso doble, which Len thinks was her turning point. Alesha thinks Kara's coming out of her shell now. The judges are very excited to see her doing a rumba, and Alesha hopes she really lets go and gets emotionally involved with the dance. Craig thinks she needs to be perfect, and Kara admits that she's "a wobbly person", while Bruno thinks that a little stumble, should it happen, will prove a costly error. Kara VTs that she's made a few mistakes in the past (and her week one stumble rears its ugly head again) but she's going to have to go out and give a flawless performance if she wants to make the final.

Their rumba is to Santana's 'Samba Pa Ti', which is known to me for being a song that my dad plays a lot, but is known to nearly everyone else for being That Song Off The M&S Adverts, and as a result, Twitter explodes in a burst of "this is not just a rumba, this is an M&S rumba" for the next five minutes. The floor is swamped with dry ice, and the routine is full of daring moves, with lots of spins and stretches and dips, and Kara's precision really is something to be envied. Sadly, there's a point where Artem picks her up and twirls her around and I catch her foot losing contact with the floor, and I know Craig's going to pick her up on that and my heart sinks a little bit, but it's still an absolutely gorgeous routine. I'm not sure about Kara's dress, though - it basically looks like she's wearing a giant pink hanky held up with a bit of tit-tape.

Bruce congratulates Artem on the routine, and likens Kara's dress to blancmange. Bruce takes this time to welcome the fabulous singers and the wonderful orchestra, even though the music Kara just danced to was an instrumental. Then again, that's probably the best time to welcome the singers, as it's probably the point in the show where viewer goodwill towards them is likely to be at its highest. Alesha says that it's not often that a couple moves you emotionally, but she could watch Kara dance all night as she and Artem are mesmerising. She thinks it was just pure magic, and they mastered it technically and emotionally. Bruno growls that Kara is "a goddess of love" and thinks that the quality of her dancing was of a professional standard tonight. "You have to make the final," he insists, coming over all Louis Walsh suddenly. Craig declares it "almost perfect" and if they hadn't put "that lift" in, he may have "dusted off my ten". Kara murmurs that Craig was right last night, and then there's a moment where Kara turns to Artem and is all "I didn't take my foot off the floor...did I?" Sweetie, you did, and it pains me to admit it. Len tells Kara she's not supposed to dance that well, and he thinks she moved beautifully. Bruce loved that everything they did fitted the music, as if anyone cares.

Up in the Tess Circle, Kara confesses that she's never been so nervous, and says that "you can fall over so easily", clearly tearing up as she says this, and then she suddenly realises that she's sounding rather sob-approaching and goes "oh God!" and clamps her hand over her mouth rather adorably, giggling. Tess tells them they made it look easy, and Kara says that if that's the case, it's all thanks to Artem. Tess decides not to revisit liftgate, and at this point Kara has basically decided to stop talking entirely lest she start crying properly this time, so we move straight to judges' scores: Craig 9, Len 10, Alesha 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39, with their combined score coming to 83. Tess gets them to beg for a spot in the final, and Kara teases that Artem has awesome showdance plans, should they make it that far.

Matt and Aliona are up next, and we're reminded that they got poor reviews for their salsa. Afterwards, a stony-faced Matt walks past the waiting camera crew, as a crew member asks if he's all right and gets a sullen "yeah" in response as Matt strides past, taking his shirt off. And I realise he only had a short amount of time to get changed for the swingathon, but still...there are much classier ways to handle that situation, aren't there? [I loathe him so much. I loathe him nearly as much as I loathed Tom Chambers. - Carrie] A refreshed-looking Matt from earlier today says that they got their worst score ever last night, so tonight's dance really counts. Craig is saddled with the thankless line about "who would've thought Matt would be such an amazing acrobat and an incredible dancer?" Yes, indeed, who would've thought that trained gymnast Matt would have so many gymnastic tricks up his sleeve? Give me strength. Len hasn't enjoyed all of Aliona's gimmicks, but he thinks they've been clever. He opines that Matt is always good but seldom great. Alesha thinks Matt is consistent but overly-serious sometimes. Len recognises Matt's intense desire to make the final, and worries that as a result he overdances. Essentially, the judges all think he needs to relax and ease his way in. It's a bit like anal sex, basically. [Oh, Steve. - Carrie] They discuss his acting skills, and I was all set to make another "yes, who would've thought someone who did a drama degree would be good at acting?" sneery comment until I realised that I did a drama degree and I can't act at all, and neither could a lot of people on my course. Fine, you win this one, Baker. The judges think the tango will suit him because it's an aggressive dance, and Bruno thinks he can let his anger out. Matt wants to make the final, and wants to show them that he can be great, not just good.

They're dancing to 'Hung Up' by Madonna, which is a bit of an odd musical choice, but the dancing here is pretty good. As the judges indicated, Matt's serious demeanour is perfect for a tango, and despite some of Aliona's more questionable choreographic choices (there's a move where he basically holds her behind his back and twirls her around the floor while she puts one leg in the air, which looks incredibly ugly), the overall content of the dance is very good, and Matt performs it pretty much flawlessly.

Bruno thinks it was strong, powerful and driven with a hint of arrogance. He thinks Matt leads well, and this dance suits him. Craig didn't like the horrid lift that I mentioned earlier, but thought Matt danced with military precision, and it was controlled and full of purpose. Len thinks Matt was cooking on gas tonight ("last night you had a bit of fluff in one of the burners or something"), he thinks Matt's hold was great and the movement around the floor was fabulous. Alesha finishes by saying that it was powerful, driven and purposeful, and although Matt took a beating last night, he's just proven why he deserves a spot in the final.

They scoot up to the Tess Circle, where Matt confesses he's had a difficult day, but Aliona's done a great job of keeping him calm and getting him through it. Tess asks him how he'll approach the four dances required for the final, and Matt reveals that he's managed to get time off from all sixteen of his other jobs so he'll actually have time to rehearse them if he gets that far. Scores: Craig 9, Len 10, Alesha 10, Bruno 9, giving Matt 38 for his tango, and a total of 70 for the whole weekend.

The fourth couple to hit the floor is Gavin and Katya. Gavin really enjoyed his samba yesterday, even if the judges didn't, so he's a bit disappointed with the scores. Len and Craig are surprised by Gavin's timidity on the dancefloor. Alesha insists that he's trying hard, and Len likes the fact that he comes back week after week, whatever they throw at him. There's a selection of Craig's "finest" insults, and the judges discuss his improved posture. Alesha says she was unsure at first about Gavin using his body to impress people, but thinks there's no harm in using your assets to your advantage. Len thinks that Gavin needs to believe in himself more and banish the nerves. Gavin says that he thinks he's got a handle on dancing in front of 14 million people now and he knows how to cope with it.

Their Viennese waltz is to 'You Know Me' by Robbie Williams (ugh), and Katya's choreography for this is absolutely beautiful, though there are clearly points where Gavin loses time with the music, and as a result he's sometimes a bit leaden in his movements. If this is his last dance of the competition - and I suspect it will be - it's a good dance to go out on, however.

Craig says that timing is an essential element of dance, and says that there was only one section of the dance that was in time, and for the rest of it they either "chose to cross-phrase" or they were off-time. Katya disputes this, saying that it was one section, and it was something she'd deliberately done to avoid crashing into the lamps. Craig in turn disputes her version of events, and it all gets a bit "yeah, well, SO'S YOUR MUM" between them. Len thinks Gavin had good footwork and good posture, so while he lost a bit of musicality, Gavin is Len's hero because he's come back strong every week. Alesha is more at ease watching Gavin in ballroom - she thinks he has timing issues sometimes, but she still thinks that Gavin is the most improved contestant, and that he should be proud of what he's achieved. Bruno thinks it was elegant and smooth, and despite the issues, it's such an improvement from his performance in the first week.

Up in the Tess Circle, Gavin's grinning at the prospect of being Len's hero. Don't get too excited, Gavin, he does tend to develop irrational attachments to SPORTSMEN irrespective of dancing ability. Gavin tells Tess that he realises he's bottom of the leaderboard, but he hopes that the public are enjoying watching him enough to keep him around. Tess asks Gavin to say he wants the glitterball, and Gavin's all "I want the glitterball?" Katya says she's "so proud" of Gavin. Scores: Craig 6, Len 9, Alesha 8, Bruno 8 to give Gavin 31 for his Viennese waltz and a total of 59 for the weekend. Katya says that she thinks the six from Craig was "below the belt" and Gavin says that Craig's "picked on" them all along. Tess asks Gavin to convince us why he should make the final, as she has everyone else, and Gavin still hasn't mastered the self-sell at this point, settling instead for the "er, if you enjoyed it, vote for me? Please?" approach. Way to beat those nerves, Gavin!

Concluding the line-up this evening are Pamela and James. Pamela got good reports for her paso doble last night, although Craig spotted some wobbles, so naturally James bursts through the doors afterwards and announces that "those teetering moments were CHOREOGRAPHED!" Oh, all right: heh. James tells Pamela she's done enough to get into the final in his eyes. Len says that there's just one word for Pamela, and Alesha steals his thunder: "breathtaking". Bruno thinks Pamela gets younger by the week. Craig and Bruno burst into a spontaenous rendition of 'Venus', and Craig's favourite Pamela moment was her near-fall coming out of the floorspin in her salsa (hey, mine too!). Len thinks Pamela is "a goer" and she's equally at home in ballroom and Latin. The judges all congratulate Craig somewhat sarcastically on unleashing his first ten for her, and Craig would love to see her in the final, because she's feisty. Len thinks she just needs to keep doing what she's doing to make the final, and if she does so, then Billy Connolly, TO WHOM SHE IS MARRIED, should be in the next series. Pamela vows to go out on the floor and give it all she's got.

Their quickstep is to 'Steppin' Out With My Baby', and involves a bit of prancing around with top hats and canes before Pamela strips down to reveal her skirt, which is quite possibly the ugliest thing I've ever seen on this show, including Jan Ravens' behaviour when she was eliminated - it looks like someone's stitched together three or four hats that fell out of a Christmas cracker, only for the stitching to come apart when Pamela put it on. The quickstep part is decent, though the footwork's a tad laboured for my tastes, and there's a tap breakdown, which I would be fine with if it didn't give Tom Chambers trauma flashbacks. Also, it's so brief as to be barely worth it. It's a cute routine, though, and I enjoyed it.

Len loved the feel of the dance, and the little bit of soft-shoe shuffle. He thought her posture and hold as she went around were great, and declares her "a class act". Alesha thinks Pamela's passion for dance lights up the room, and that she showed true showmanship (shouldn't that be showwomanship?) at the top of the routine. She liked the tap section, and thinks Pamela is an inspiration to So Many Women, which makes her a winner already. Bruno calls her a "Broadway Babe" and says that he loved the beginning, and the flow into a beautiful, "correct", quickstep. Craig declares it "one word, three syllables, starts with F." Fuckinell? Oh, "fabulous". I see.

They rush off to the Tess Circle, and Pamela expresses her fear that she'll deafen James with her screams of excitement at this rate. Tess says that Pamela "shied away from the spotlight for so long" before signing up for the show (can't say I noticed, personally - she had her own sex column in the newspaper and her own television series, which doesn't really strike me as especially wallflowerish behaviour) and wants to know what it's like being back in it. Pamela admits that she's loved it, and thinks it'll be hard going back to normality, as she'll want to don her support tights and spray tan. Well, do it anyway, Pam - it's never stopped Gavin. Pamela says she's so grateful to everyone who's kept in so far. Scores: tens all round, giving Pamela 78 for the weekend. I enjoyed that quickstep, but I'm not entirely sure it was 40-worthy. I hope they don't start going all Lisa Snowdon with Pamela again in the final, assuming she makes it there. Pamela thanks James for his "efforts to get this granny moving around the floor that way." James accepts this comment as gracefully as ever and then starts ravishing her on the sofa. Get a room. Sheesh.

Final leaderboard: Kara and Artem still top, Pamela and James still second, Matt and Aliona and Scott and Natalie now tied for third, and Gavin and Katya at the bottom. So much for "anything can change in the second round", eh?

Tess declares the lines officially open, and it's time for a recap of all the performances from the weekend. Scott and Natalie's slightly slouchy Argentine tango and their leg-flailing charleston; Kara and Artem's illegal lifting Viennese waltz and their illegal lifting rumba (tsk tsk, you two); Matt and Aliona's mess of a salsa and spectacular recovery of a tango, Gavin and Katya's hip-free samba and off-time Viennese waltz; Pamela and James' Gagariffic paso doble and their quickstep, guest-starring the Skirt Of Horror; and the swingathon in which it was never terribly easy to see who was doing what, but Pamela was wearing some really ugly trainers.

After that, it's time for Take That, performing new single 'The Flood', now with 100% more Robbie Williams, which is at least 200% more Robbie Williams than is ever necessary for anything. I realise this is likely to make me unpopular with a lot of people, but I'm actually kind of sick of Take That and their turgid man-band-ness. I wasn't a massive fan even before Robbie returned, and now he's back they seem to have become even worse, especially if this rather off-key performance is anything to go by. Still, I appreciate the performance at least in terms of it being at least five minutes of footage that only requires about two minutes' worth of recapping. Hey, if they can't entertain me, they can at least make my job easier.

Afterwards, Tess promises another performance from Take That in the results show (argh), and then it's time for the obligatory "please can I be in the final?" VT. Pamela says that the show has utterly rejuvenated her, and she's really proud of what she and James have achieved together. GAvin says that he's gone out in the semi-finals in rugby and it's not a nice feeling, and he'd love to make the final of this show as he and Katya have worked so hard. Scott says that he's given everything to this competition, and to make the finals would be the icing on the cake. Matt can almost taste the final, and just wants to have the chance to go out there, dance his heart out, and lift the glitterball. Katya thinks that she and Artem have made a good team, and she thinks that to get to the final would be a suitable reward for all the hard work he's put into her (FNAR) and winning outright would be "the perfect ending to a perfect couple of months".

So that's the end of the performances - now it's all over bar the DOUBLE ELIMINATION. Exciting stuff!

Results: 12th December

Tess informs us that there are five couples left, but only three can make the final. Yes, Tess, we already know this. Can we have new information now please? Titles!

The producers have remembered to book the showdance troupe this week, so they're opening the show with a skirt-twirling paso doble to 'Fire With Fire' by Scissor Sisters. Ian appears to be absent, much to my distress, but to make up for it, there is LADY-CAPING APLENTY. I'm sure Kelly Brook will approve of this. Actually, parts of the routine are a little bit sloppy, but I am in a forgiving mood after all the amazing LADY-CAPING. I'm so easily swayed. After the routine, there's a shot of all the judges looking up and to the left, and definitely not at the floor in front of them. I'm guessing that was a pre-recorded routine, then. [This was dreadful. The showdance troupe suck. - Carrie]

Since the main show was on earlier than normal, there was time for Bruce to do the results before his bedtime cup of cocoa, so he's joining Tess this week instead of Claudia. Daly Dresswatch: red, tight, with a weird ruffly hem thing around her midriff even though the dress itself continues way below there. They tease the upcoming performance from Take That, and terrifyingly, a vocal performance from Bruce and one of the Strictly Singers. I feel this cannot end well. [It will not even start well. - Carrie]

Time for a recap of the weekend: Len thinks it was 48 hours of fabulous dancing. Pamela's paso has reduced Len to incoherence, moreso than usual, and Craig thinks she's quickstepped her way into the final. Alesha thinks Kara was the belle of the ball, and Len thinks she gave two fantastic performances. Len will pickle his fabled walnuts if she isn't in the final. Bruno thinks Gavin has come a long way from the beginning, but the competition is tough. Len thinks the samba was unfortunate, but Gavin did a great job with his Viennese waltz. Scott's Argentine tango was a bit lukewarm for Alesha, but they did better with the charleston, and Scott and Natalie were happy with the performance. Craig thinks Matt's salsa wasn't entirely a salsa, but Alesha says that his return on Saturday was almost as though their comments wound him up enough to come back and prove himself. And in fairness, they probably did. Len thought the swingathon would be a disaster, and he was right. Except that's not what he says. Len concludes by saying that no one has a clue who's making the final, so they'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Time for the initial bout of results. The first couple through to the final is...Pamela and James. Oh good. I can't wait for all the "this is the first time James has made the final" stories for the next week which will pretty much ignore Pamela's existence completely. The second couple through is Kara and Artem. Artem falls to the floor with sheer joy. The remaining three will have to wait longer to discover their fate.

Bruce asks Len to explain the showdance. Len says that it can make you, or Lisa Snowden you. Anything goes choreographically, which means Aliona is probably going to go full-on nutso (assuming Matt and Aliona get through, but come on).

Tess is up in the Tess Circle with the two safe couples, and Artem is crying with happiness, so everyone laughs at him. Pamela talks about how BILLY CONNOLLY TO WHOM SHE IS MARRIED and James have both been crying tonight, and she wants to thank everyone who's supported her and kept her around this long. Kara admits to being an emotional wreck, and that everyone's cried at some point. Tess gets prematurely excited about their showdances.

After this, Bruce and Lance from the band perform a song that appears to be about Goldilocks and the Three Bears, with Ola coming out to do her very best performance art as Goldilocks. Seriously, I don't even know what the fuck's going on any more. Suddenly that Duffy performance doesn't seem so bad in hindsight. Ola whirls Bruce around the floor a few times until he needs a little sit down, then returns him to the stage while she dances out a bit more. Then, finally, it's over and I'm still absolutely none the wiser as to what I've just sat through, but I feel faintly violated.

Tess is with the limbo couples, and asks who's feeling the most confident. Gavin raises his hand, satirically: "I always believe in myself." Hee! Scott says they've all made it to the semi-final, and he'd love to make the final for Natalie, because she's earned it. Matt says he's pleased that they really went for it with their tango, and it's really hard to think that only one of the men will make the final, as they've all stuck together this far.

After that, Take That are back to torture me some more, singing 'Back For Good' in public for the first time since Robbie returned. Mark Owen looks almost as bored as I feel. In fact, I made all my feelings regarding Take That perfectly clear in the recap of last night's show, so let's just move on.

Tess insincerely declares the performance "awesome" from the safety of the balcony, before we get the off-cuts from the VTs we saw last night. Gavin wants to win and believes it's his destiny. Scott wants to win, because that was his goal when he entered. Matt wants to win because he's PUSHED HIMSELF SO HARD, WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALESHA. Or something.

Time to find out who's going home then. In no particular order (interesting), the first couple leaving is Gavin and Katya. Scott applauds them ferociously, as does Matt. The crowd come to their feet. Gavin says that Katya's been amazing and this has been an awesome experience, and he came in with two left feet, but Katya's made a bit of a dancer out of him. Katya says that Gavin taught her patience (HAHAHA) and she couldn't have asked for a better partner. We relive their highlights, and Gavin says that the standing ovations were inspiring. Gavin recalls kissing Bruno, and claims to be not a fan of getting his body out, blaming Katya for all the times he's done it. He says he'll really miss the show, and declares it "a turning point in [his] life". D'awww.

So which of our remaining couples will proceed to the final? Well, it isn't...Scott and Natalie. So Matt and Aliona are in the final, as I think we all knew they would be. Scott says that this has been the best experience of his life, maybe, and tackling something that you have no skillset in is a real challenge, especially when you're doing it live, and thanks Natalie for getting him this far because she's "spectacular". She sure is. We relive their journey on the show too, and Scott says he won't forget the show, and never expected to embrace it in the way that he did. He can't go anywhere without people spitting "Sssssscccccottttt!" at him now, and like Gavin, cites the standing ovations as being particularly inspiring. He thinks it's been a challenge, but he's enjoyed every single minute.

Scott thanks Bruce one final time, and heads over for his final dance. Next week, the finalists will tackle four dances each in their bid to become the 2010 champions. Gavin and Katya and Scott and Natalie dance to the deliciously cruel soundtrack of 'Didn't We Almost Have It All' as the others come back out to give them all hugs. James whispers something in Gavin's ear. Aliona tries to make out with Natalie. And that's it! We'll be back next week for the final - do join us!