Are you sitting comfortably? Well, you won't be by couple nine or ten, so best go and get an extra cushion now.
We begin with Tess's voiceover reminding us that "two weeks ago", our 15 celebrities were coupled with their professional partners. (If we're being extremely pedantic - and when are we not? - it was filmed three weeks ago and sat on the shelf for a week, just in case you're thinking this lot are unusually skilled for a week's less training than they would normally get.) [Edit: I have been informed that they did indeed only get two weeks' training, and indeed last year's couples only got two weeks. Please disregard the previous sentence.] Then of course the hard work began, and everyone had to start juggling their day jobs (those who actually have them) with dance training - Dr Ranj says that he's used to coping under pressure, but this is a whole 'nother level (Chloe, we hardly knew ye), Kate says that everything seems impossible until you do it, Charles - like all actors on this show - is worried about being himself on TV instead of a character [even though all non-actors worry that they can't get into character, such is the conundrum of this show - Rad], Stacey thinks this is like nothing she's done before, Susannah thinks she can do this (spoiler: she can't), Graeme is nervous, Katie is desperate not to mess up, Ashley is realising how much of a challenge it is now she's here (with all of her dance experience), Danny just wants to be performing in front of a live audience, Faye doesn't want her nerves to beat her, Lee is out of his comfort zone, Lauren says that she doesn't do second place, Vick is petrified about dancing in front of millions of people, Seann is feeling okay now but expects to be trembling, and Joe has realised that there's no going back. Because it's liiiiiiive!
All-new titles. I'm not going to recap them exhaustively because I've still got (checks timer) eighty-six hours of this show to go, but some of the highlights are: Seann conjuring Katya out of nowhere, Dr Ranj and Janette doing their best club moves, Katie barely even managing to shimmy left and right, AJ managing not to drop Lauren for once, Aljaž kissing Kate's hand (aww), Joe and Dianne doing an exploding fist-bump, and Neil and Johannes getting a faceful of Luba's hair. Aww, our unpartnered pros. I hope we get to see more of them over the series.
From there, we're straight in to a pro routine to the Moulin Rouge! version of 'Your Song' filmed (I think) at Somerset House. Please note that I will be paying close attention to all of this year's pro routines for any evidence of HOT SAME-SEX COUPLE ACTION, though I am sad to report that there is none on display here. They're easing us in, I suppose. After an impressive sequence in which Giovanni & Amy, Kevin & Karen, and Pasha & Oti dance around some water jets, a close-up on Karen's arse (there you go, straight men and gay women, don't say this show doesn't cater to you) serves as our segue into the studio, where they have also got the water jets. That's quite impressive. It's a great start to the show: soft, lyrical, helping us to remember who's had what done to their hair since last December, and most importantly not too long because Lord knows we've got a lot to get through tonight. [It was a great pro-dance, more of this please - Rad]
Tess and Claudia appear: Tess is wearing an asymmetric black top with gold-leaf effect across it (or she was just eating a bar of Bourneville backstage and forgot to get rid of the wrapper) matched with some black trousers, and Claudia's in a sparkling black minidress with a plunging neckline. Both of them look great - hurrah! (Then again, I'm pretty sure they frequently look great on the first live show of the series and it's not necessarily an indication of the sartorial horrors that may be to come.) Tess welcomes us all to Strictly Come Dancing 2018 and pauses for a cheer that doesn't come. One person eventually whoops. So that's a good start, then. Tess thanks the pros for the opening routine (choreographed by Jason Gilkison, because of course it was, I'd recognise his handiwork anywhere) and asks Claudia if there's anything they can do to make the celebs less nervous. Claudia says probably not. Tess asks if there's anything they can do to make them more nervous, and Claudia introduces the judges. Heh. If anyone's wondering, Dame Darcey Bussell has to slum it with the plebs this time and doesn't get her own special introduction, but the good news is that Shirley's all over her already. I have high hopes for a repeat of that It Takes Two interview from last year where they practically got to third base live on television.
Shall we meet our Strictly stars? TV presenter and author Katie Piper and her partner Gorka Márquez, from Casualty Charles Venn and his partner Karen Clifton, pop star Faye Tozer and her partner Giovanni Pernice, comedian Seann Walsh and his partner Katya Jones, broadcaster Stacey Dooley and her partner Kevin Clifton, from This Morning and CBeebies Dr Ranj Singh and his partner Janette Manrara, author and presenter Susannah Constantine and her partner Anton Du Beke (with Susannah wearing a shade of tangerine she would never have let anywhere near What Not To Wear, I am telling you now), singer and actor Lee Ryan and his partner Nadiya Bychkova, world champion paratriathlete Lauren Steadman and her partner AJ Pritchard (I love that she's had an intro upgrade since the launch show), social media star Joe Sugg and his partner Dianne Buswell, journalist and news broadcaster Kate Silverton and her partner Aljaž Skorjanec, England cricket legend Graeme Swann and his partner Oti Mabuse, radio DJ Vick Hope and her partner Graziano Di Prima, star of stage and screen Danny John-Jules and his partner Amy Dowden, and finally, from the Pussycat Dolls Ashley Roberts and her partner Pasha Kovalev. (I'm very interested in how two people have added "and author" here to pad out their résumé when it's really not what they're known for. When are we going to get someone on the show who's an author as their main job? I DEMAND DAVID SEDARIS AND HIS PARTNER OTI MABUSE.) Theme tune shimmy count: Seann and Katya doing the most, but Dr Ranj, Susannah and Stacey all do a high kick at the end.
We're reminded that there's no public vote this week but the scores still count, and without further ado, it's over to Danny and Amy to open the series. Danny's VT reminds us that he's this year's eldest contestant, but he's very excited about getting started. Danny describes Amy as a "ball of fire", and Amy says of course she is, because she's Welsh. I see that Amy has definitely settled on "Welsh" as a personality in and of itself, then. Amy is determined to get some 10s this year. Well, you've got a stone-cold ringer on your hands love, if you don't manage at least one there'll be questions in parliament. Danny arrives at training on a pink motorcycle, in pink leathers with a pink helmet. Honestly, for a moment there I thought I'd sat on the remote and accidentally switched over to a Power Rangers re-run. They've got the foxtrot this week, and Amy says that the main problem is Danny's frame, which collapses after three or four steps. Danny mentions that he's already wrecked his toes. When they get to Elstree for camera rehearsals, Gorka and Katie sit in the audience to watch them and Katie says she can't believe it's his first dance. Well, it really isn't, that might be why. Unrelated to anything: I wish I looked as good in hats as Danny does.
They're dancing to the 'Top Cat' theme, which makes me wonder if the music team are hard at work looking for a song with "Dwayne" in the title for him to dance to next week. [Sidebar: why does Danny always play characters called Dwayne? - Rad] (Shout-out to Natasha for finding this one, should make for a lovely samba.) The choreography could do with being more in hold, and I suspect that's Amy wanting to show off how much her partner can do by himself already - or possibly her way of side-stepping those frame problems until she's had more time to nail them out. There's a very slight stumble from Danny near the end, but beyond that it's a good, clean start to the show, and frankly I'm always pleased to have one less foxtrot looming over me.
Tess welcomes our fabulous singers for the evening: Hayley, Jamie, Louise and Tommy. The presence of Jamie means there must be some high notes coming up later in the evening, and Louise is apparently standing in for Andrea, who was unwell. Oh, and Dave Arch is here too. Tess asks Shirley if it was the start she was hoping for, and Shirley says it was an outstanding number to open the greatest show on Earth. She calls him "Dapper Dan" because he's so regal. She thought the shoulder line was great, but the feet could do with a little more work. He has beautiful posture, he gave it 100 per cent, and Shirley's in love. I can see Darcey plotting to leave some butter pats on the floor next week. NOBODY STEALS HER SHIRLEY! Bruno tells Danny that he knows how to make an entrance and he made the stage his own. He thinks Danny throws jazzy touches and balletic outbursts into his work, but he would like him not to tighten up when he's in hold. Craig thought it could have been smoother and that it needed swing and sway, and it was more of an American smooth to him, but the timing was impeccable, and he had incredible energy. Darcey calls him "one agile, mature man" (oh blimey), she liked that his feet were neat and he had flair. She asks if he's 58, and Amy grins that it was his birthday last Sunday [I think Amy said he was 60, so I don't know if he is showbiz ageing himself a year up or down - Rad], and Darcey says he's one to watch.
Tess sends them off to the Clauditorium, where Danny says he was "bricking it" about going first and calls Amy his Strictly guardian angel. Joe is watching the whole thing completely bug-eyed, which amuses me greatly. Danny says he hopes he can keep this level up. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 7, Shirley 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 27. For some reason I always think of 27 as being the traditional score for the first dance of the series, even though that was only the case in series one, series 12 and series 13. That's just a hint of the useless trivia you can look forward to over the next three months! [I loved Danny looking a bit pissed off like he clearly doesn't understand how week 1 scoring works - Rad]
In the first death slot of the series (although it probably doesn't count because there's no public vote) are Kate and Aljaž. Aljaž hands Kate her newsreading glasses to wear for the intro, and then goes "oooooh!" when she puts them on. I have a feeling we've got some top-notch Aljaž campery coming our way this year, and I for one cannot wait. In her VT, Kate says she's looking forward to everything about this, because her day job is so serious and this will be a nice chance to show a different side of her. She hopes Aljaž is not disappointed to be with her, and he says he is not because she "has a lot of sass" (see, he's started already) and she's a beautiful lady. They've got the cha cha cha for their first dance, and Aljaž has choreographed it to start from the newsroom, so Kate invites him along to see her in the real thing. In the newsroom, Aljaž watches Kate writing her script and tells us that he's worn glasses to impress her. Bless his heart. He then has a go at reading from the Autocue and...well, he needs a bit more practice to actually remember to look into the camera. Although to be fair from what I remember of It Takes Two last year, he was probably straining to look and see what funny name caption they were going to give him.
Their routine (to 'Kiss') begins with Kate sitting at her makeshift news desk, wearing her serious newsreader glasses and pulling a sexy pouty face, and honestly I'm sold already. I remember her dancing on the launch show as not being that great, and I'm actually pleasantly surprised here: don't get me wrong, there's still a lot of work to be done, but her rhythm is good, she looks fairly confident in what she's doing, and there is some movement in the hips, even if it's not a lot. The biggest problem is her legs - she's got very long legs, which means she's going to have to work even harder in the Latin to get the movement that she needs, and at the moment she looks a little bit stilted and stiff. But the most important thing is that she's really working hard to sell the dance by sheer force of personality, and I think by and large she pulls it off. It's nowhere near as accomplished a performance as Danny's, but if I'm honest I enjoyed it more because it's clear Kate's having fun with it, and she's channeling that enjoyment straight down the camera.
She whoops with excitement at the end, and tells Tess that she's so relieved. Tess says "the crowd are on their feet!" and...aside from Kate's husband and a scattering of people elsewhere, they really aren't. I think this is where it sucks to go on early on the first live show: if you go anywhere from about tenth onwards, you're bound to get a standing ovation if you're even halfway competent because by that point everyone will have lost all the feeling in their legs and will be looking for any excuse to leap up and try and get the blood pumping again. Bruno screeches "you don't see that on the news at lunch!" and says he wants to see it every day. The thing is, I've checked the BBC News remit and in order to include that in a bulletin, they'd have to let Jacob Rees-Mogg do it as well for balance. He says it looks like she enjoyed it, Kate confirms that she did, and Bruno says that's the key. He concedes it wasn't technically perfect and she has to learn how to place and finish the moves, but he thinks she's got the ability within her. Craig says there was an awful lot of stomping around and she needs a much straighter leg, it lacked hip action, it was a bit too turned-in and there was no flair in the upper body, but he thought her fantastic personality shone through. Kate thanks him and says that she's only had nine days of practice, and she's going to be really working on all of that. Darcey says Kate was "oozing that flirty lady role". She should see a specialist about that. She thinks the performance value was extraordinary, and while Kate may have been fudging the technique, the cha cha is a very difficult dance. Yes, that's why it was always a week one dance since time immemorial. Shirley finishes by saying that it was so cat-like and feminine, and she thought the first set of walks and lock steps were good, but it just wasn't consistent. She'd like to see more flow in the body and locking in the feet, but she sees a lot of promise there.
Aljaž screams "YESSSSS! WELL DONE!" all the way up the stairs. Kate tells Claudia that she messed up the dress rehearsal so she's been on tenterhooks ever since, and that everything the judges said echoed what Aljaž has been telling her throughout, so she knows what she's got to work on and she's just very pleased to have got through it. Claudia confirms that Kate got her husband's permission to kiss Aljaž, and Aljaž says that Kate's husband is an ex-Royal Marine which makes him nervous. Scores: Craig 4, Darcey 6, Shirley 4, Bruno 6 for a total of 20. Kate's happy with that and cites the room for improvement. Claudia teases an upcoming routine in which Seann plays Katya's bodyguard, and says that she hopes he does a better job than Richard Madden did with Keeley Hawes - "or is she still alive?" Et tu, Claudia? (I really don't think she's still alive because I feel like it would be a really cheap twist, but everyone else seems to think she is so I guess this will stand testament to either my rightness or wrongness.)
Tess chips in with "we'll find out tomorrow, I can't wait!" in a very "feeling good with Wellwoman" sort of way, and then we move on to Lauren and AJ. Tess reminds us that AJ nearly dropped Lauren in the launch show. His hands were probably full of grease from doing Celebrity MasterChef. Or from doing his hair, one or the other. Lauren says that she's normally in lycra or a wetsuit, and she's never worn so much make-up in her life. She then says "being partnered with AJ...he nearly dropped me." Ha! I'm going to like Lauren, I can just tell. She goes on to say that AJ explains things really well and he thinks outside the box, which is something they'll have to do to take her arm into account. She thinks he's excited for the challenge. I think AJ is...also there. They had a challenging start because straight after the launch show Lauren had to go to Australia for the world championships, but she says that she hopes that once she's competed and hopefully brought home the gold, then it will be all Strictly all the time. We see Lauren and AJ tele-training while she's in Australia via FaceTime, and he's impressed at how well she's doing with the dancing. Lauren wins her gold medal and flies back home, and AJ's there to meet her at Heathrow. In case you're wondering, AJ's ability to sound like a normal human being when talking has improved slightly, but not hugely. Lauren says that she's been in a whirlwind of emotion and she hasn't had much time to train, but now she's back she's focused and excited.
They're doing a waltz to 'Kissing You', which wins few points for originality, but significantly more for execution. Considering how little in-person training time Lauren has had (not to mention the near-dropping incident), she seems very comfortable in AJ's arms, and the routine - while not hugely exciting - is soft, delicate and shows huge promise.
Craig says that her left shoulder was raised a bit, but he thought it was impressive. Darcey loved the control and the serenity, and she thinks Lauren is clearly good under pressure. She wants Lauren to be grander in hold and put her strong core to good use. Shirley loved the chemistry and wants Lauren to stretch her sides and work on her footwork, but she thinks she will do well. Bruno loved the romance and thinks it was like watching Strictly's Romeo and Juliet (someone please check in on the Mollie & AJ Appreciation Thread on Digital Spy and let me know how well that went down, I'd look for myself but I'm too afraid).
Claudia congratulates Lauren on her gold medal, and gold confetti explodes all over the Clauditorium. Claudia goes through Lauren's whirlwind last few weeks and asks Lauren how her head is. Sadly Lauren misses the opportunity to reply "I've had no complaints" and says that her jet lag hasn't been too bad, and she's loved every minute of it. AJ points out that it's only week one, and they will definitely be here next week. High expectations! Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 6, Shirley 6, Bruno 7 for a total of 25. AJ reminds us that they only had two days in the training room, and that Lauren is "a true inspiration".
Tess is leaning on the judges' desk next to Bruno for the intro to Seann and Katya. The camera cuts back to Bruno and Tess as she says to him "that'll be a first", and I honestly have no idea what that was about. Tess tells us that in this routine Seann will be playing the role of a bodyguard and Bruno barks "my favourite show!" and Tess splutters "same!" This whole segment has the energy of a novice children's TV presenter doing a live link with a naughty puppet. Tess clarifies that while they may have drawn inspiration from the Jed Mercurio smash hit, Katya will not be the Home Secretary (Bruno asks if he can be the home secretary) and Seann won't be showing us his bottom (Bruno asks 'why?'). I think this was a brave experiment that is unlikely to be repeated.
In their VT, Katya tells Seann to watch out because she's going to be on top of him. The Strictly curse strikes already! They muck around a lot in training, and Seann says it's all harder than he thought it would be and that he's definitely not a natural, so he's putting in as many hours as he can. To build his confidence, they go on a field trip to a comedy club. Yeah, nothing builds confidence like a load of drunk people heckling you. Seann calls Katya up on the stage, which is a comedy stage and therefore really isn't big enough for dancing, and they shuffle through a few movements. Katya says it was great to see Seann in his own environment and that he's "really good at what he does", perhaps with an implied "whatever that is". Seann says that having danced in front of people for the first time has helped him feel less nervous about the live show.
They're dancing a tango to 'SexyBack', and it's better than I expected from him. I think he needs to learn not to take such gigantic strides when he's dancing, and the whole thing is a little bit jittery, but it's a fun routine, cleverly choreographed by Katya to have enough drama and razmatazz to make up for Seann's technical shortcomings. It ends with what would normally be a floor spin but for some reason is adapted slightly to allow Seann to pick Katya up off the floor with one hand before doing so. (Question: since they're hinting that the bodyguard-theming was inspired by the hit TV show, if Wanderlust had been the breakout hit, would they have done an open-relationship themed tango?)
They cackle with delight when it's all over, and Tess says she's never seen a move like that before. I think with good reason, you could dislocate an arm. Darcey thought he was very focused and played that tango role really well, but she thought he was grabbing Katya a little bit too much and it was a little bit strained. And she didn't care much for that ending, either. Shirley says she'll have to enforce the rules, and there was a lift at the end (Katya: "It was more of a chuck?") and says that she loves his hair, but she wants to see something a bit more classic so maybe he could free the hair up for the latin and tie it back for the ballroom? She thought there were some nice heel leads, but it wasn't the normal tango that she's used to seeing. She finishes by reiterating that he needs to tidy himself up a bit because "it was flying all over the place" (flashbacks to Anton's cha cha cha with Fiona Fullerton) and the audience reacts with shock. Seann also seems slightly shocked: "I thought we were just going to talk about the dancing! It's like, 'can you have a wash please before you come on the show?'" Bruno says it's week one and he's almost broken Katya already, and while Seann was chewing the scenery, he enjoyed the passion - he just wants more control. Craig thought it was completely over the top, and he was manhandling Katya - it wasn't for him, and he didn't like the illegal chuck either.
Claudia says they were screaming for Seann up there, and Seann says that he doesn't know what just happened but he's soaking wet. Claudia tells him he looks divine, and Seann replies "can you tell Shirley that please?" Heh. Scores: Craig 3, Darcey 5, Shirley 4, Bruno 6 for a total of 18. Seann cracks up laughing at Craig's and Shirley's scores, and I think we can safely say we're not in much danger of him taking himself too seriously on this show.
Our fifth couple of the evening are, according to Tess, "breakfast DJ Vick Hope and her partner, Graziano Di Prama. Prima! Di Prrrrima!" Smooth. In her VT, Vick says that she's loving every single minute of her journey so far and feels like a princess. Graziano says he's from Italy, he's 24 (really?), and he's an Italian Latin champion. Bright and early, Graziano joins Vick on the Capital FM breakfast show with TV's Roman Kemp. Vick refers to this as "bring your Italian stallion to work day" and Roman tells us all how good-looking Graziano is. If I'm honest, he does absolutely nothing for me, but maybe I just need to get to know him a little better first (read: I need to see what his arse looks like in white ballroom trousers, that's always the key test). They've got the jive for their first dance, which Vick is quite nervous about because it requires so much attack. In rehearsals things look good, and Graziano tells Vick she will be "fantastica". Vick says she's in agony, but Graziano is a good teacher. He tells her she will be "a star of the jive". Well, he's right in the sense that there are five points waiting for her, I suppose.
So, yes. This was probably the biggest surprise of the night: Vick's jive (to 'Feel It Still' by Portugal. The Man, and if you don't recognise the title it's the "ooh, I'm a rebel just for kicks" one) is not good. It starts promisingly enough as she struts and steps and shakes her hips, but the kicks-and-flicks sections are heavy and laboured and her timing is all off. So that poses a few interesting questions: was this just an unfortunate start for someone who is going to turn out to be much better overall? Did we all just assume Vick had to be a ringer because she's not really famous enough to have been cast for any other reason? [Yes - Rad] Is the whole rest of the series going to play out very differently to how a good chunk of us had anticipated it? I don't have the answers to any of those, but I'll definitely be watching with interest next week. (I will admit that on the second watch it's not quite as bad as I remembered, but perhaps that's because I was watching with very high expectations last night, and with very low expectations today?) Also Graziano attempts a Gleb special at the end, you are no Gleb Savchenko sir.
Vick says it's like she's inside the TV and she's having an out-of-body experience. Well, I guess that's one explanation for those kicks. Shirley opens by welcoming Graziano to the Strictly family (why yes I am extremely here for a Mafioso spinoff in which mob boss Shirley reveals that Brendan Cole is sleeping with the fishes now). She thinks they're a handsome couple with great personality, but the routine was discombobulated. Vick has potential, but this wasn't great. Vick promises to work hard. Bruno says he's digging the look, and says that the jive is very hard and the fact that she managed to keep up with Graziano is worth extra points. He tells her that she has to keep her energy up all the time in the jive, but he thinks it wasn't bad at all (it was bad a little bit, Bruno) and he liked it. Craig thought the kicks and flicks were laboured and the routine was messy, and it felt like it was all about Graziano for some reason. Vick says plaintively that Graziano has helped her so much and she needs to step her game up to reach his. Two points here: 1) yes, that is how this show works 2) until that happens, he does kind of need to step his game down to reach yours, because that is also how this show works. Don't showboat for your own benefit if your celeb partner is struggling next to you. Darcey finishes by saying the beginning was beautiful, but Vick found it hard to keep up. Darcey sees promise, though!
In the Clauditorium, Claudia has to instruct Graziano to stand in the right place, and Vick says that she thought she would be fine on the show if she didn't have a fast dance - and then she got a fast dance. Graziano says it was the first time for both of them. "Not your first time dancing," Claudia shoots back. Scores: Craig 3, Darcey 5, Shirley 4, Bruno 6 for a total of 18. If I'd been making score predictions for the first episode, "Vick Hope tying with Seann Walsh" would absolutely not have been one of them. Vick says she loves Bruno and she always has.
We get a quick(ish) montage of the 10(!) couples still to come, and then Claudia asks a few of them for their thoughts so far: Ashley is nervous, Dr Ranj did a 12-hour A&E shift, then had a long stint as somebody's birthing partner, and then he's had to train on top of that, so he admits it's been "a tiring week". Jeez, and I thought I was knackered because I had to get up at 5am on Wednesday to get a train to Leeds. I'm going to keep very quiet. Katie says that Gorka knew how nervous she was going to be, so they've spent every day together training, so physically she's ready if not mentally (Gorka leans into shot grinning like a madman as if to reinforce this), and Claudia compliments Charles on his all-red outfit.
Tess joins Susannah on the floor, where she is standing behind a large cardboard costume and holding a fruit basket on her head. As someone said on Twitter last night (I forget who, my sincerest apologies): is there really much point in an outfit reveal when we've already seen what's underneath? She's got the samba (in week one!), and Tess asks her where Anton is. Susannah pretends she doesn't know, as approximately nine million people screech "he's clearly under that massive skirt!" from their living rooms.
Susannah enjoys Anton's "evil sense of humour", which is demonstrated by him pretending that she used to be in the Royal Ballet school and a touring dance troupe [I loved Debbeh hard but had to admit that still made me chuckle at how snarky that was - Rad]. In training, Susannah admits that the day starts well, but she seems to get worse as it goes on. "You think that, but it's all pretty bad," deadpans Anton. She hopes she doesn't let Anton down because they're having a lovely time. Susannah says that in the group dance on the live show, she felt like she was "constantly fleeing from a burning house", and now she feels like she's actually learning something. Well, we'll see.
They're dancing to 'Tico Tico', and of course the routine begins with Susannah opening the front of her enormous prop skirt to reveal Anton shaking some maracas. Fortunately they then dispense with the cardboard frontage and then Susanna struts forward to squeeze Anton's arse. (Not sure I should have used the word "fortunately" there, really.) Anton pops the bulbs of his maracas over his back (apologies for that mental image), because what Susannah really needs here is TWO SEPARATE TRIP HAZARDS ON THE DANCE FLOOR. He's just the worst. Susannah's doing her best, but there is no hip action whatsoever and the whole thing is sluggish. Honestly, looking at this I can only assume she walked past Jason Gilkison in the corridor after the launch show and said "that shirt's a bold choice at your age, darling". I mean she must have upset someone, somewhere, because this is inhumane - for her, and for us. She does at least sort of manage a floor spin, so that's something.
Susannah says that she's got drymouth. Tess asks Bruno if he agrees that that routine was a lot of fun, and Bruno snarks "not really". Heh. He says it was more like "car-crash Miranda" than Carmen Miranda, and by way of encouragement, says it can only get better. Craig says he thought she was staggering about lost and drunk at a party, and the best part was when she fell down at the end. Susannah asks him if he'll come down and show her a few steps because he's the master, and Craig seems quite brightened by this, saying that he'll do that in the bar later. Darcey says she likes a bit of fun and a bit of comedy, but she's seen Susannah work hard and she knows there is a dancer in her. She tells Susannah she doesn't need any props, and Anton says "yes, we do". Shirley says that "there was some basic in there" (there certainly was), but she does see a little dancer in there, so Susannah needs to push forward and give it her best.
Up in the Clauditorium, Claudia says that the whole thing is scary and Anton quips "it's not that bad, it's tangerine, I quite like it". We flash to Susannah's son Joe who is in the audience who manages not to look too embarrassed, and Susannah says she cried after the dress rehearsal because it went so badly, but she was happy with that. Scores: Craig 1, Darcey 4, Shirley 3, Bruno 4 for a total of 12. Susannah says that it could have been four, so she's happy with that. Anton complains that Craig and Bruno aren't wearing ties. [I had 2 as the lowest score of the series for Monkseal's prediction league so that's fucked that up, thanks Craig/Anton - Rad]
Back on the dance floor, Tess tries to chastise Craig for the 1, and there's a conspicuous pause followed by some half-hearted booing. I am extremely here for this audience not paying Tess even the slightest bit of attention. Next we have Charles and Karen, who have got a cha cha cha. Karen says Charles has great energy, which she loves, and Charles is excited to have been Strictlified, and he's ready to wow the audience - but are they ready for him? In training, he says that the foot placement and the beat pattern of the cha cha cha are quite alien to him, so Karen suggests they go where he's most comfortable: Cardiff! Karen joins him on the set of Casualty, and we get some feedback from his castmates, including Rebecca Ryan who used to be in Shameless and who I didn't even know was in Casualty these days [keep up Steve, she's been in it for ages. And you a TV writer, tsk - Rad], and Neet Mohan who is so damned attractive that I sincerely hope he is on the shortlist to do this show next year. Also Jason Durr calls him "Cha-Cha-Charles", but let's just pretend that didn't happen.
They're dancing to 'Ain't No Love (Ain't No Use)' by Sub Sub featuring Melanie Williams, and full marks to them both for their deployment of a stone-cold banger. The outfits are throwing me though, because I'm pretty sure they're just Mollie and AJ's 'Better The Devil You Know' Hallowe'en costumes from last year with the tails cut off. I am also not impressed with the Karenography for this routine, because it's about a quarter to a third cha cha cha at the most, and the rest is just disco. Let it be known from this moment that this blog is exercising a zero-tolerance policy for disco Latin. Charles seems pretty competent, though.
Craig says that he was a bit tight of hip on occasion, but for ease of movement and confidence, he thoroughly enjoyed it. Darcey says it "maybe wasn't the most typical cha cha I've seen", but Charles has natural rhythm (drink!) and she's never seen a man deliver such a relaxed cha cha cha in week one before. (Spoiler: She's about to give him one point less than she gave Davood for his week one cha cha cha last year.) [Shirley's week one scoring was all over the place last year, so I give that as much credence as a Donny 10 - Rad] Shirley says that he has swag and beautiful rhythm, but it was a disco routine for her that was exempt of cha cha cha except for maybe about eight bars. Bruno says it was "smouldering", and the dancing was good as well. He asks what's wrong with disco, and I've got a playlist of previous routines I can show him if he really wants an answer to that.
Claudia asks Charles if he was as relaxed as he looked, and he humbleshrugs that he must just be a good actor because he was terrified. Karen admits that the excess of disco was "probably my fault" (probably?!), but they just had a great time and that's what they're here for. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 6, Shirley 6, Bruno 7 for a total of 25.
Claudia teases that in the upcoming routine Dr Ranj has a giant thermometer - unless it's a normal-sized one and he's even smaller than we thought. We cut back to Tess who bellows "IT'S A GIANT ONE, CLAUD!" Ahh, Tess's "comic" "timing". I haven't missed you. Tess is sitting in the audience with Kimberly Wyatt, and I was relieved to see on Twitter last night that I'm not the only person who keeps needing to be reminded that Ashley Roberts and Kimberly Wyatt are in fact two separate people [same - Rad]. This meeting of minds is because Ashley's up next: Kimberly calls Ashley her "soul sister" and says she can't wait to see her smash it. If the plan here was to make Ashley seem less grating in comparison...mission accomplished?
Ashley loved doing the launch show, and has already spotted the hashtag potential of "Pashley" as a couple name - fair play to her, a good marketing gimmick can do wonders on this show. Pasha says that Ashley is lots of fun, but if he has to be strict, he will be. Um, excuse me for a second.
*leaves the room*
*sound of cold shower running, then being switched off*
Okay, I'm back, let's continue. They've got the Viennese waltz first, which Ashley finds quite complicated despite its simplicity. She admits that people will know about her dance background and that people will have high expectations of her - and however disingenuous you may find her "but this is an entirely different skill!" schtick, I at least respect her for owning her previous experience and not pulling any Van Outen-esque "I only sat on a chair!" nonsense. She wants to do it justice, and but tells Pasha that if all else fails, she'll just booty-pop. Pasha says "sternly" that they've had that conversation already, and he has forbidden such naughtiness. I hope Ashley's in long enough for us to get some excruciating Pasha comedy VTs, at least.
They're dancing to 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran featuring Beyoncé, and obviously the whole thing is ringeriffic. Not that this is intended as a criticism - you know me, I love a good ringer. There's a slight stumble into one of the backbends, but otherwise this is all very strong stuff as you'd expect. The dancing was never going to be the hurdle here, it's getting people not to spit "but she's a professional dancer!" when the time comes for the vote lines to open.
Darcey loves the way Ashley uses her back, but says that she loses her frame a little in mid-rotation so she just needs to watch out for that. Shirley says Ashley has a beautiful musical ear, and fantastic awareness of spatial design through her arms, but she has to work on keeping her centre up. Bruno agrees that the spatial flow was lovely and the storytelling was wonderful. Craig thought there was too much rise and fall, but he thought the whole thing was gorgeous nonetheless. Ashley gives Pasha a grateful hug, and they scoot up to the Clauditorium, where we learn that the woman sitting next to Kimberly in the audience is Ashley's mum, who flew over from the US to be here. Ashley says that Pasha has been amazing, and the critiques from the judges matched what he's been telling her. Scores: Craig 7, Darcey 8, Shirley 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 29. Pasha: "I'm actually jealous of myself right now." Oh bless him.
It's time for a quick look at the slightly-over-halfway leaderboard:
1. Ashley & Pasha - 29
2. Danny & Amy - 27
3=. Lauren & AJ - 25
3=. Charles & Karen - 25
5. Kate & Aljaž - 20
6=. Seann & Katya - 18
6=. Vick & Graziano - 18
8. Susannah & Anton - 12
Claudia says that that could all change because there are still seven couples left to perform. I mean, it will all change, for precisely that reason. Dr Ranj and Janette are next, and in his VT he says that he was hoping to get Janette, so he's very pleased. Janette says they're both big and bubbly and fun, and with all due respect you're both clearly not that first one. Janette invokes the first "pocket rockets" of the series, and Ranj says he just wants to make her proud. Ranj turns up to training in some amazing sparkly tracksuit bottoms that I seriously covet, and they get training for the cha cha cha. Ranj says that there's a lot to learn, and he's very anxious. They go to This Morning so Ranj can do his segment, and Janette goes along for the ride. Phil and Holly are impressed with his nifty hips, and Holly points out that the glitterball trophy would look good on their coffee table.
They're dancing to 'How Will I Know?' by Whitney Houston, and in another of tonight's pleasant surprises, not only is the routine completely gaymazing (okay, maybe that bit isn't a huge surprise), but Ranj is actually pretty good. His rhythm's good, his footwork looks on point, he's confident and he's brimming with personality. (Disclosure: I'm a Dr Ranj fan so I was really hoping he would be good, but I don't think I'm being inaccurate in my assessment here.) The clear highlight of the routine is when he leaps onto a table before the final chorus and appears to shoot sparks out of his arse into a giant thermometer.
Judging by her skipping around the second the routine finishes, Janette is clearly very happy with how it went. Ranj squeaks that he's got nothing left. Shirley is on her feet, and opens for the judges by saying that she wasn't expecting that: it was fun, it was light, and thanks Janette for putting so much cha cha cha in the routine, Karen. Shirley adds that Dr Ranj's syncopated Cuban breaks looked like they belong in the semi-final. All right, let's not get too ahead of ourselves here. Shirley finishes by saying she was particularly impressed by the way Ranj leapt off the table and picked up the rhythm by himself without Janette's help. Bruno calls him "a ray of sunshine" and says it was sharp and crisp, adding that the prognosis is good for the doctor. Even Craig is smiling, and he says it was very camp but he loved it. Darcey finishes by asking him never to wipe that smile off, and she says that if he keeps pushing that technique he'll go far.
Claudia says that she's never seen Janette happier, and Ranj says that this is all very far out of his comfort zone, because Janette has had her work cut out. Janette says that he is an inspiration because he was up 36 hours one day (I mean, technically that's two days) and still turned up to training with a smile. Bloody hell, after 36 hours I'm not even sure I'd turn up to training with my face, let alone a smile. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 6, Shirley 8, Bruno 7 for a total of 27. Claudia grins that Ranj is reacting like he got 40.
Our (counts on fingers) tenth couple of the evening is Katie and Gorka. I am very pleased to confirm that Gorka has not got any less handsome since last year (lol like I wasn't keeping tabs on him via Instagram the entire time). Katie says that Gorka was the partner she really wanted (sensible woman) and Gorka says he thinks she's an inspirational woman. Katie says she doesn't feel like a great dancer and she doesn't feel terribly confident, but she thinks Gorka is the man who can take her there (fnar). Gorka promises her she will have a great time on Strictly. (I wonder if he promised Tameka or Alexandra that, because...) Katie says she wants to make her mum and dad proud. Their first dance together is the waltz, and they'll be dancing to 'When We Were Young' by Adele. Katie points out that she's never danced with her injuries, so she doesn't really know if they will be an issue - she's got scar tissue and skin grafts on her neck, and she's blind on her left side. Gorka suggests that she come up with a little story for the dance to help her get the feel of it, and Katie says that she went to Paris with her husband five years ago, so they decide to incorporate that. Katie hopes that on the night with all of the music and the costumes, everything will come together.
Katie's quite hesitant in the dance itself - she looks very nervous, and there are moments when you can clearly see her counting the steps out loud. Her balance is a little off on the turns too. There's a section in the middle where it all goes a little bit wrong and Gorka has to pull her back into place, but to her credit she does recover from that and gets herself back on track. It's a shame for her, because from what I've seen in the background she's the most nervous of all the contestants this year, and I imagine she really needed the first dance to go well to help her settle in, so this might not be terribly helpful. Honestly though, there are some nice moments in there and I think if she can learn to relax and feel a bit more confident in what she's doing, she could still do well.
Bruno tells her she did all the steps and she got to the end (hoo boy), now she just needs to relax because the worst is over - next time she needs to stop overthinking it and just feel it because that will get in the way. Craig says her balance was questionable on the pivots, and her topline was a bit too closed, but she had nice arm placement out of hold - but he congratulates her on managing to pick up after going wrong. Darcey says she hit some really nice lines and shapes at times, but she just needs to get hold of her nerves. Shirley says that she shows some great promise - she did a beautiful box at the beginning and a nice contracheck - she just needs to come out like it's a practice session. She will have to deduct some marks for the mistakes but she thinks Katie shows great promise.
Claudia says that she was sort of watching Katie dancing but she was mainly watching
There follows a montage of the five couples (we're nearly there!) who are yet to dance, and each of those celebs except Graeme are now standing alongside Claudia. Stacey says that she and Kevin are the first two ever do a quickstep in week one (technically true, but it was a first-competitive dance for the women in series four and five, when only the men danced in week one - whereas this series is the first time anyone at all has danced a samba as their first dance) and she can anticipate the judges saying "there's a reason we don't do it week one, darling" - except she says "step one", instead of "week one", which means it doesn't really land as a gag in the way she's probably hoping. Ah well. Lee says he invited his mate Elton John to come along, but he was busy - but he does wish everyone good luck. Yes, I'm sure he was full of good wishes for Dr Rinj, Stacey Dilley, Vicky Hopeful and all of these other celebrities that he's definitely heard of. Joe says he's going to picture the audience naked, and apologises to them if he's looking at them weird. Claudia confirms that Faye will be in the pimp slot tonight, and Faye says that she's loving watching everyone but she just wants to get down there and dance for herself.
The reason Graeme wasn't here for that line-up, by the way, is because he's next and he's down on the dancefloor with Oti and Tess. Graeme tells us that he's got a great entrance (fnar), he's going to be on a huge glittery cricket bat, but he hasn't yet worked out if that's brave or stupid. Tess wishes him the "breast--best of luck" (has she got someone else's teeth in tonight?) and we cut to VT. Graeme was overjoyed to get Oti, as any right-thinking person would be. Oti says that she's never met a cricketer before in her life (lucky her) but she understands they do really well on this show. Graeme says he's not scared about Oti's reputation because he's got a thick skin - it'll be water off a Swann's back, do you see? They have got the samba first, and Oti says that she usually prefers to give it an African theme, but she'll make it a Nottingham-themed samba this time. She gets Graeme to show off his bowling so he can see how the body rotation can lend itself to dancing. Graeme takes Oti to play cricket with some of his cricket friends, and Oti promptly schools all those losers.
They're dancing to 'Soul Limbo' (aka the theme tune from the cricket on the telly) and in the latest of tonight's pleasant surprises, Graeme does a very respectable job. Oti's clearly taught him well, the routine is showy and includes some challenging moves without being too challenging, and Graeme's a natural showman who's quite nimble with his feet - he just needs to not grit his teeth quite so much. I enjoyed this far more than I ever expected to enjoy a week one samba from a cricketer, and I'm starting to have quite high hopes for this couple.
Graeme (Swanny? Should I call him Swanny? It's what everyone else seems to be doing, but I feel reluctant somehow) admits that he's not great with heights so that opening was quite nerve-wracking, but that he enjoyed himself out there. Craig says that his hands were flat like cricket bats and without any shaping whatsoever, and the hips were a little awkward at times, but he liked watching them and the energy was immense. Darcey says that his rhythm is exceptional and that was a nice surprise - she could see the work he'd put into his hips, even if it didn't always manifest quite as wanted. She thinks he's a rough stone that Oti is going to polish into a diamond. Shirley says that she was very impressed with some of his basic skills - she's not really a cricket watcher, and she never expected him to have so much personality - he really sold it and his energy was great. Bruno wraps up by saying that Graeme's future is guaranteed - he'll be top of the bill at every hen party in the country with those pelvic thrusts. "He's dislocated his groin for your viewing pleasure!" Well, I don't think any of us expected that to happen.
Graeme has a lot of support in the Clauditorium, and Graeme says he has to thank Oti for getting the floss in there because his kids will love that. I am so old that I wouldn't recognise the floss if it slipped between my teeth to fight plaque, sadly. He also tries to demolish Oti's reputation to say that she's an ice cube, slowly melting by his bonfire. That's...unsettling. Scores: Craig 5, Darcey 6, Shirley 6, Bruno 5 for a total of 22.
Next up are Stacey and Kevin. Tess persists with the "first ever quickstep in week one" half-truth, and asks Shirley what she needs from this routine. Shirley specifies good floor coverage, lightness on the feet, and keeping the upper half of the body still when in hold. Stacey is very happy to be here, and to be partnered with Kevin. Kevin says he thinks he embarrassed himself a little bit by jumping up and down so much. Apparently Stacey's friend told her that the nation loves Kevin, so if she messes up it's totally her fault. Yep, it'll be terrible if she fails to win like all of Kevin's previous partners totally did. In training, Stacey says she feels like a 12-year-old in her first set of high heels, and she feels embarrassingly unfit. She feels like week one is going to be a baptism of fire, and she'll just have to soak it all up and enjoy it. I think a lot of us felt like that about our first time, didn't we? *Harry Hill-style look to camera*
Their quickstep is to 'Dancing' by Kylie Minogue, which is one of them new ones where she went a bit country for some reason. Stacey shows a lot of promise - she's light on her feet, she moves well, she seems confident, her frame appears strong, and there's good body contact throughout. There's lots to build on here, I think. (Apologies if these are getting less and less detailed - I have been at this for approximately 86 hours now, and I'm kind of running out of things to say as well as energy to say it with.)
Darcey loved the amount of content and the lightness, but there were times when it got a bit messy. She thinks Stacey has plenty of promise, though. Shirley says she got what she was looking for, for the most part - she was very impressed by the cleanliness of the footwork, and the right line, but she did notice Stacey's arms dropping near the end - though that'll be fixed with greater core strength. Bruno calls it "sprinty and springy", but cautions her not to get carried away because it can make her arms go a bit wobbly. Craig agrees that it was a bit floppy, but he enjoyed it. (Shall I make the obvious joke there? No, I'll be good.) In the Clauditorium, Stacey says it's such a lovely crowd, and Kevin's been a total gent. Kevin says that because Stacey doesn't know anything about these things, he told her the quickstep was the easiest dance. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 6, Shirley 6, Bruno 6 for a total of 24.
Lee and Nadiya are next. They've got a waltz to a song by the Eagles, who are apparently Lee's favourite band. Who knew? In his VT, Lee says he's heard that Nadiya can be a bit of a taskmaster. Nadiya left such little impression on me last year that I can't even remember if that's true or not. Nadiya says that every second thing that comes out of Lee's mouth is a joke, and she doesn't know whether to take him seriously or not. Apparently Seann has been training in the studio next to Lee, so Lee and Nadiya nip in to spy on them. (Either that, or they did so little in training that was interesting in any way, the producers were forced to bolster them up with footage of a more lively couple.) We see them at the Elstree rehearsals watching Faye and Giovanni perform, and Lee says it just makes him want to get out there.
They're dancing to 'Take It To The Limit' which, like 'Kissing You', is super-overdone as a waltz choice on this show, so they're going to have to do something pretty spectacular with the choreography to make it stand out. And...they don't, really. It's nicely performed, perhaps with a little bit too much intensity for a waltz (it's supposed to be romantic, Lee! Stop pulling that face!), but it's also quite forgettable. There's also one moment where Lee properly slips on the floor and, in trying to get himself back into the routine, spends quite a bit of time looking at his feet.
Shirley says she felt the chemistry going there, and also that she thinks Lee's slip was caused by a star on the floor left by the previous couple. Except the previous couple were Stacey and Kevin, and I went back to check and didn't see anything of the sort in their routine? Still, I'm sure our intrepid journalist duo of Kate and Stacey could get to the bottom of it between them, and I would be quite happy to watch Dooley & Silverton as a regular segment on It Takes Two. Anyway, Shirley says he "recuperated" well and got right back into it, but the footwork needs attention and also sometimes he goes ahead of the music. Bruno was impressed at how confidently Lee was leading in that routine. Craig through the rise and fall was all through the knees rather than the feet, and he was ahead of the beat, plus he was concentrating so hard that he was a little too stern-of-face. Lee says he was trying to channel his inner Richard Gere. Darcey says that it felt a little lustful for her (Bruno giggles at this, the little imp) but once it got started he did lead and present Nadiya well.
Lee tells Claudia that he really enjoyed it, but he got all inside his own head when he slipped. Claudia assures him that it was the golden star, that I don't remember seeing and I've watched this show twice, but then I am very tired by this point. Scores: Craig 4, Darcey 6, Shirley 6, Bruno 6 for a total of 22.
There are only two couples left! We can do this! Joe and Dianne are our penultimate couple of the night, and this is where it all gets a bit cringeworthy as Tess attempts to be down with the kids by saying "emoji" and "trending" a lot. In his VT, Joe says "everybody thinks I'm a bit of a prankster", and I know I am far too old to be in the target demographic for YouTubers, but I think I can say with reasonable authority that the "pranksters" are the worst ones, because the pranks are always really shit. Case in point: Joe pranks Dianne by filling the training room with boxes and hiding in one of them so he can jump out and make her scream. CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE GUYS! (Aside: I was quite relieved when I discovered that ThatcherJoe, which is the name of Joe's YouTube account, is because that's what he used to do for a living and not because he's a massive Tory. I mean, he may still be a massive Tory, I don't know, but at least that's not where he got the name from.) Oh yeah, they've got the jive.
They're dancing to 'Take On Me' (which seems an oddly old-school music choice for a celebrity chosen so transparently to court the youth audience, right?). Joe is the last of the evening's big surprises because he turns out that he's secretly quite good too - his jive is very energetic, his kicks and flicks are well-timed, and he and Dianne have good chemistry. Given that he comes with what I can only assume is a substantial pre-existing fanbase, and also fills the ever-popular "nice young man" niche [though why are they dressing him like your middle-aged I'm-mad-me uncle who lost 4 stone on Slimming World (not a cult honest) and hasn't bothered buying replacements in case he puts it all back on again? - Rad], I'm already starting to wonder if we might have our second win by a Joe in as many years. (Also well done to Jamie in the band for managing to carry off 'Take On Me', because that could have gone very, very wrong indeed.)
Auntie Tess asks Joe if that's trending already, and Joe replies "I hope so." Bruno shouts a load of mostly incomprehensible words at him that end with "grasshopper", and he says that Joe has to be the biggest surprise of the night. Craig says he didn't have high hopes for Joe after his dance on the launch show, but this has changed everything. Darcey says he was full of attack and he looked like a Mexican jumping bean out there. Shirley tells him his grandma (who he signed up to the show to impress) will be very proud of him because he did very well. In the Clauditorium, Joe says that he's really out of breath, and Dianne confirms that she's really proud of him. Scores Craig 6, Darcey 7, Shirley 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 27. Claudia tells Joe that he's joint-second on the leaderboard, and Joe actually looks quite shocked by this, which is sweet.
Here we go: our final couple of the night are Faye and Giovanni. Tess says that Giovanni has been threatening to include some of Faye's iconic Steps dances in their routine but she hopes that it doesn't end in a (wait for it) TRAGEDY. Please note that Alfie Deyes is sitting behind her, looking bored, and is pretty much the only person in shot not doing the hand moves. Ugghh, he's the worst. (And there goes our comment section, it's been nice knowing you all.) In her VT, Faye says she's a big Strictly fan, and being on the show is everything she dreamed of and more. Giovanni hopes she will get the STEPS right or it will be a TRAGEDY. I think these jokes are BETTER BEST FORGOTTEN. They've got the cha cha cha to start with, and Giovanni has fun counting her in 5-6-7-8. Faye says she want to do her absolute best. [I can't believe they didn't mention she was wearing A DEEPER SHADE OF BLUE - Rad]
They're dancing to 'Lullaby' by Sigala & Paloma Faith, and of course Faye is very good. The one thing I will say here is that I'm not really feeling much of a connection with the camera yet - it's all a bit inward and Rachel Stevens, and I think she'll need to do better than that if she wants to overcome the voters' inherent prejudice against women with obvious existing dance experience. Then again, it's been a long show, we're all quite tired, maybe that has something to do with it. I will say that her drop to the floor at the end is very impressive, and makes me think this couple works really well together because that's a lot of trust to put into a three-week partnership.
Craig says that this performance was definitely worth the wait and by no means a tragedy - though Faye needs to work on her hip action a bit. Darcey says it was a wonderful way to finish the night - it was cheeky and fun and full of everything it needed to have. Shirley thinks it was clean and relatively musical, but she personally didn't like how straight and stiff Faye's lines were. Bruno says it was clean, clear, polished and with plenty of sparkle. He thinks it has been a night of surprises because everyone has given them a very good standard of performance - and it's very difficult to predict how this is going to play out.
In the Clauditorium, Tess says that Faye's never missed an episode of Strictly, which makes me hope that the public vote this year doesn't make an unfortunate first for her. Faye fangirls about being here, and the scores are in: Craig 7, Darcey 8, Shirley 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 29.
The leaderboard stands as follows:
1=. Ashley & Pasha - 29
1=. Faye & Giovanni - 29
3=. Danny & Amy - 27
3=. Dr Ranj & Janette - 27
3=. Joe & Dianne - 27
6=. Lauren & AJ - 25
6=. Charles & Karen - 25
8. Stacey & Kevin - 24
9=. Graeme & Oti - 22
9=. Lee & Nadiya - 22
11. Kate & Aljaž - 20
12=. Seann & Katya - 18
12=. Vick & Graziano - 18
14. Katie & Gorka - 17
15. Susannah & Anton - 12
A lot of ties there, aren't there? Hopefully next week will mix that up a bit. SCORING TRIVIA CORNER: First time since series five that nobody has scored 30 or above in week one, first time since series one that nobody has scored 30 or above for a first dance.
We then get a video package reminding us of all the ways we can keep up with Strictly during the week: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, a podcast hosted by Scott Mills and someone called Amy Elizabeth (absolutely no thank you), something on BBC Three involving children (clearly not), and It Takes Two with Zoe during the week (yes, of course).
That's it! We made it! Thank you for reading this far to everyone who hasn't fallen asleep. Next week, Rad has the joy of recapping all of this plus a results show [Hmmm, now I know why you drew up the rota - Rad]. I'm going off to bathe my hands in aloe vera.
3 comments:
Perhaps I follow this blog a little too obsessively, but I was watching this with friends who don't appreciate Anton's little dancer. So I've made them watch his cha cha cha again.
It was trying to make an appearance in those orange trousers as well.
Also described Graziano as Gleb-lite. "Oh, I hope he tea-bags his partner, like Gleb did" HE DID! HE TEABAGGED HIS PARTNER! THAT'S A GLEB MOVE!
Lovely to have you back. How weird that they persisted with that ‘first ever week one quickstep’ guff, yet to my memory, there was barely a mention of it being actually true for the samba.
Actually, scratch that, I’m not sure it is true for the samba either.
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