This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Robbie's still a Bitter Betty where Craig is concerned.
- Alan Sugar thinks Robbie should try "Celebrity Cooking" (whatever that is) next.
- Robbie thinks "you can't teach someone to have natural rhythm". Well, no, dear. That's where the "natural" part comes in.
- Brendan, James, and Vincent are picking on Pasha backstage and laughing in his face. COMMENCE WRITING HURT/COMFORT WOOBIE-FIC NOW.
- Pasha's face during the botafogo challenge is the most adorable thing you will ever see.
- This week's botafogo scores are as follows: Pasha scored 65 (with 3 disallowed), Flavia scored 67 (with 2 disallowed), Brendan scored 70 (with 10 disallowed for not maintaining his centre), Artem scored 79 (with 2 disallowed) and James scored 66 (with 2 disallowed). ARTEM WINS! FATALITY!
- Bruno gets all his energy from the contestants. That's it. Entirely legal substances, honest.
- The rumba is a women's dance, where the man forms the frame for the woman to dance on/around. I think this means everything Ola has ever choreographed was a rumba.
- James was worried they'd been overmarked this week. That is not a mistake - he was worried about being overmarked.
- The secret to a great male celebrity rumba is ensuring the man is never static.
- There have been more than 75 quicksteps performed over the history of Strictly.
- They had to remake Holly's paso doble skirt at the last minute for...reasons that weren't made entirely clear, but apparently involved it not being sufficiently similar to her rehearsal skirt.
- Zoe really likes the way Kristina says "prrrroud".
- Jason's children were "devastated" to see him in the bottom two. DEVASTATED. Are you HAPPY now, British public?
- It Takes Two is going to BLACKPOOL next week.
- Brendan is doing his best to remove Bloody Lulu from his Strictly history. Aren't we all, Brendan? Aren't we all...
- Harry has clammy palms all the time.
- Artem really is worryingly attached to that awful plasticky-looking "leather" hat.
- Harry's costume for the charleston is naval-themed. Or possibly navel-themed. Either one is good with us, to be honest.
- Chelsee thinks you won't feel so daft if you go out in the semi-final because the double elimination means you won't have to do the last dance on your own.
- Holly is tied with Austin Healey for the highest paso score in Strictly history.
- Holly is not good at gurning, or she's "facially beige", as she puts it.
- Su Pollard's performance in the Christmas special is looking...well, special.
- Pasha's lip-synching is about as good as his acting.