This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Ben's pre-dance warm-up involves lifting Janette into the air.
- When Julien saw this, he wanted Ben to lift him next. Can't say as we blame him.
- Dave really likes to say "boom".
- Susanna was very careful not to overdo the lipgloss in case her hair ended up stuck to her mouth in the middle of her jive.
- Iveta prefers the studio to the training room because there are no mirrors.
- Craig thinks the viewers at home enjoy the show with some "Sauvignon Blanc and potato crisps".
- Zoe thinks that Belle is the lead character in Sleeping Beauty. (To be fair, Belle is the heroine of the other Disney film with "Beauty" in the title. It's an easy mistake to make.)
- Zoe doesn't pay attention to which SPORTSMAN does which sport.  Somewhere, Len Goodman is apoplectic.
- Zoe is always going to refer to Kevin as Kevin from Grimsby, which is a) his full name and b) exactly how the Grimsby Evening Telegraph will be referring to him for now and forever, occasionally interspersed with 'Local dancer Kevin', 'Grimsby dancer Kevin' and so on.
- Rachel was "somewhere else" for most of her waltz. Possibly Florida, Pasha reckons.
- Pasha likens Rachel's dancing to various animals, most frequently a rabbit.
- Rachel prefers Latin shoes to ballroom shoes.

- Artem is quite happy to fake an injury for sympathy
- Artem doesn’t know how he got his tan last week.  He probably asked for a two and another two and another two and so on until he got a twelve. (/Friends joke)

- Karen's Khoreography Korner has new titles. They are…very Karen-centric.
- Karen Hardy thinks Julien was too loud.  KAREN HARDY.
- Karen wants ladies to keep their legs together. The prude.

- It's more difficult to boost someone than it is to calm them down. (Tell that to the poor sod who's stuck looking after Julien and Janette.)

- The hip and knee are family. Wolves and tigers ate their roast beef.
- A very happy Brendan makes us all happy.

- Tony likes to refer to mistakes as "brain farts".

- Ashley was rather stiff when dancing with Ola.  Fnar.

- If you lock your knees, you can’t release your hips.

- Balance is hard.  Amen, Tony.

- Deborah doesn't know what "channeling" means.

- Deborah does it three times a night. Read the notes Robin gives her after her training sessions, that is.

- Aljaž describes himself as "a charming, cheeky Slovenian gentleman". Presumably he likes to save discussion of his magnificent arse for when he knows people a little better.

- Aljaž has been teaching Peter Crouch to dance on the sly. Maybe this year's Daily Mail-mandated Strictly cheating love scandal isn't going to be the one we expected.
- Ian Waite's cuticles need work.
- Natalie has never done ballroom before.  See, she's not a dirty ringer, honest.
- Fiona has a strong core.

- Ian is disappointed that the judges didn't mention Sophie's impeccable footwork during her waltz.

- Sophie has realised that dancing is not like singing because if she forgets what she's supposed to do, she can't get the crowd to fill in for her.

- This is Brendan's first attempt at a charleston, because he's always managed to dodge them since their introduction in series 7.

- Ashley and his girlfriend/fiancée/wife (whatever the show decides she is at any given moment) have had a baby boy called Mason.

- Ian thinks you shouldn't stick your bum out when praying. Perhaps he's had some very distressing experiences in church.

- Kevin From Grimsby (Up North) has clearly decided that the glasses weren't enough to completely destroy our ovaries and turned up in a button-down shirt and a blazer.

- Kevin From Grimsby wasn't nervous about being on the show until his mum phoned him and reminded him how many people would be watching.

- The cartwheel wasn't part of Kevin From Grimsby's original choreography for the jive: Susanna just randomly did a cartwheel in the training room once time and he insisted on incorporating it.

- Susanna doesn't have as much control over her face as she thought she did.

- Fiona is pleasingly quick-witted and a surprisingly good foil for Anton.

- However, she does call him "Mr Wonderful" quite a lot, and that can't end well.
- Mark is not Antonio Banderas.

- Anya describes herself as "a tough cookie with a sense of humour". Like a garibaldi, maybe?

- According to Patrick, the average day on Casualty involves someone saying to you "you're there, and you're doing this." 

- Patrick's tango face is a "Transformer" face. We're not sure whether that means he's Optimus Prime or an energy-transferring device.

- Janette is doing her best to correct Julien's dreadful posture. Good luck, girl.

- Julien keeps trying to add more sparkles to his outfits. *surprised face*

- Artem will be wearing a midnight blue smoking jacket this weekend. *fans self*

- James refers to the choreography move that involved ripping his shirt off as "doing an Artem".

- Vanessa enjoys correcting James's grammar. She claims it's a diversion that she uses when she wants to have a break from dancing, but we suspect she secretly enjoys it.

- James is hoping for tears on Saturday. Plus ça change.

- Bruce is unwell and won't be doing the show on Saturday, which means that we're BREAKING OUT THE WINKLEMAN a little earlier than usual this week.

- Ashley is not particularly happy with his long arms and "spaghetti legs".

- Out of all the judges, the viewers would most like to see Craig strut his stuff on the dance floor. Darcey, not so much.

- Iveta has been teaching dance since she was 18.

- Ben went to ballet classes this week.

- Kristina and Ben are the same star sign - Virgo. (Feel free to make your own tasteless joke here.)

- Mark and Iveta have an Austin Powers theme for their routine this week. And after we worked so hard to repress the memory of this, too.

- The thing Janette loves most about dancing is that you can keep your mouth shut and let your body do the talking. Because of how much she clearly HATES talking, obviously.

- Nobody's had that quiet word with Julien about using his indoor voice yet.