Saturday, 5 November 2016

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Anastacia likes to keep it real, or as she puts it, "Honestacia".
- If you do the jive, at some point, you will fall over.  We're not sure if this is literally, metaphorically, or both.
- Salsa was the only dance Anastacia thought she'd be able to do.
- Anastacia didn't know there was a 'sensual' dance like the rumba until she did the show.
- Anastacia thinks that watching your best bits is a bit like dying and being able to see your own memorial.
- Zoe/the production team have found 'posh' candy corn.
- Brendan wants Danny to win.
- Chloe and Neil are back for choreography corner. Hooray!
- Neil has a bow tie made of clay and ginger socks.
- Neil thinks Greg didn't straighten his legs enough and that was why Craig didn't like it.  Suuuure.
- Halloween is allegedly Oksana's favourite 'holiday'.
- Laura needs to work on her evil laugh.
- The hair and make-up team are on the side of Twilight when it comes to the thorny issue of sparkly vampires.
- AJ was apparently off to his prom after Monday night's show, dressed like that.
- Claudia thinks lifts are 'a little bit' easy.
- Claudia has started to trust AJ. Just about.
- When she gets a new dance, Claudia rewatches the celebrities who have already done that one to see what the judges said, paying attention to the negative comments so she knows what to avoid.
- Neil was into the way Daisy beat Aljaž's chest.  Get writing that fic, people!
- Just before it was announced that they were in the bottom two, Daisy told Aljaž that she didn't think she could do that dance again. Oops.
- Aljaž' told Daisy to scream and shout during their dance to get into character,
- Daisy burps quite a lot in training.
- Daisy likes being in hold because it's comfortable, "like being in the womb".
- Daisy likes that you can smile in a Viennesse Waltz,
- Pasha and Anton are always late, while Brendan is very clumsy.
- Despite everyone knowing it, Bamboleo by the Gipsy Kings never made the UK top 40.
- Allegedly, this week's pro dance will feature Neil vs Anton in a battle for 'the girl' (who looks to be Oti).  Improbably, Anton alleges he will win.
- Zoe voted for Matt Flint to win So You Think You Can Dance.
- Jason Gilkison thinks Brendan was the greatest evil character the show has ever seen in this Sunday's pro dance. How quickly he forgot James Jordan.
- Every pro dancer gets the lead in at least one of the group numbers by the end of the series.
- Chloe and Neil think technique is more important than performance; Jason Gilkison thinks performance is much more important than technique.  Let's hope the celebrities aren't looking here for advice, then.
- The opening dance for BLACKPOOL will be a foxtrot.
- Ore was channeling Tom Hanks in Castaway for his charleston, with a little bit of Ron Burgundy.
- Joanne is adamant that the botched lift in the charleston wasn't Ore's fault, but rather the fault of them as a team.
- Ed didn't think he'd be any good at latin and feared the cha cha cha most of all. Ed, it is a week one dance.
- The bit in Ed's cha cha cha where he rubbed his crotch and his tits was not choreographed.
- Ed has challenged Lord Sugar to a dance off.
- Ed didn't want to go out in the first week.  Ed, no-one goes out in the first week.
- The WE WANNA GET TO BLACKPOOL narratives have begun in earnest, hooray.
- Zoe thinks Ian's wand is getting smaller.
- It is not easy to jive with slip-on shoes on.
- Karen has been training with Lutalo Muhammad for the Children in Need special; he hasn't taught her any tae kwon do yet, which is good bceause she's worried she might use it on Kevin.
- Karen loves that you can make faces in charleston.  As opposed to famously restrained, emotionless dances like the paso and rumba.
- "Exuberant" and "scandalous" are two of Zoe's favourite words.
- Like Ore, Zoe can only swivel on one leg.
- Karen's favourite step in the charleston is the flappy bird.
- Daisy has always wanted to learn the Viennese waltz because it makes her think of balls.
- Louise's kids finally think that she's cool now she's been Harley Quinn.
- Louise keeps referring to "swivel" as "swizzle".
- Following an incident in Argentine tango training, Lousie thinks she may have ruined Kevin and Karen's chances of having children.
- Louise and Kevin are playing "Valentina" and "Santiago" in their Argentine tango.
- Zoe can't tell a gancho from a gaucho (clue, Zoe: one is a cowboy, the other is a step named after a hook.  So think of pirates vs cowboys.  Maybe).
- Natalie was surprised that it was Craig rather than Len who objected to her rumba choreography. You and me both, hen.
- Greg was expecting to be an early boot.
- Greg’s turned-in feet is an issue that dates right back to childhood.
- Greg is starting to learn the lingo.
- The Viennese waltz choreography for this week is even making Natalie nauseous.  As is typical for Natalie Lowe, she can even enthuse about this, bless her.
- Zoe was excited that someone in the audience knew Ian's dance acronyms... until she realised it was only Natalie.
- Ian has decided this week is going to be Louise's character/performance breakthrough.  Isn't that already supposed to have happened? It's hard to keep up with this series' performance breakthrough spreadsheet TBH.
- Ian thinks Claudia's gymnastic expressions might serve the paso well.
- Laura was impressed with Ed's samba and that made her look forward to her own.  So she says.
- Vicky Gill is laying the blame for Ore and Joanne's look last week at the door of her assistant Ezra.
- People (in the audience, one assumes, but this isn't specified) get snarky when the final performance outfits don't look exactly like the sketches you see on ITT.
- Danny’s foxtrot fuck-up felt 100 times worse than it looked, apparently.
- Oti feels like she and Danny can sense each other even when they’re not together. Worrying.
- Danny and Oti did 22 hours of jive rehearsals in two days. Yikes.
- After the red rope didn’t quite work out, Oti is disinclined to incorporate any further gimmicks.
- Oti keeps laughing when Danny does the 'sugar push' move in rehearsals.
- Judge Rinder had a brief moment of clarity when he was dressed as a moth and danging over the studio floor when he remembered he used to be a serious lawyer.
- Oksana knew the paso would be Judge Rinder's best dance from the start.
- Oksana has dodgy knees.
- Judge Rinder thinks any criticism can be improved by adding “…in a good way” at the end.
- Judge Rinder and Oksana are going to be FRED AND GINNNNGGGGE this week. Judge Rinder thinks that’s a step up from being Fred and Wilma a few weeks ago.
- Oksana’s husband has choreographed a salsa for us this weekend.
- The show is still getting its money’s worth out of Melvin by getting him and Janette to front a segment looking back at highlights of Strictly past. And also that time Victoria Pendleton flew into Wembley on a bike.
- Then again, the segment declared Russell Grant being fired out of a cannon at Wembley as the greatest entrance in Strictly history and claimed it was a massive public favourite when he was eliminated that same week, so it’s not off to a great start.
- Carol Kirkwood misses Pasha because he’s gorgeous.
- Richard Osman can’t pronounce Ore’s name properly.
- Jack Savoretti is backing Laura because she’s dancing to the Gipsy Kings this week and he’s a big fan.
- Richard Osman thinks all dances are ballroom.
- Jack Savoretti would like to learn the Argentine Tango.
- Jack Savoretti does not really understand how Pointless works.
- Carol Kirkwood isn’t great at it either.
- In an entirely representative sample of the public, most (13/50) identified Natasha Kaplinksy as a winner, and Kara Tointon was a pointless answer.
- Richard Osmon struggles to tell the difference between Nancy Dell'Olio and Lesley Joseph.
- Claudia’s paso face probably still needs a bit of work.
- Joanne has a “#TeamClifton” hoodie. Oh, hon. No.
- Joanne and Ore are in sync.  Not a training room you want to be near every four weeks or so then, unless you come armed with hot water bottles, ibuprofen and chocolate...
- Laura thinks Darcey is the most elegant woman in all the land.
- The elbow dip in a tango is called a “Spanish drag” and Giovanni would like us know it’s nothing to do with Gorka. That’s a suspiciously specific denial.
- Laura put on a pair of heels again for the first time yesterday.
- Giovanni’s Irish accent hasn’t got any better.
- Belly dancing is known as “the fertility dance” because it apparently has many benefits for a pregnant woman’s body.
- It was Louise’s birthday on Friday. Jamie bought her a necklace and Kevin bought her a bottle of tequila.
- Richard Osman is not a fan of shorts worn with smart shoes.
- Richard Osman would do Strictly if his partner was Claudia Fragapane sitting on AJ’s shoulders.
- Richard predicts Oti and Danny at the top of the leaderboard, while Carol and Jack think Laura and Giovanni. As for who’s going home, Richard thinks maybe Ed but hopefully not Daisy, Carol hopes not Ed, Jack thinks it’s Ed.
- Kevin and Karen and Aljaž and Janette went out on a double date last Saturday. They like karaoke.


TF100 said...

No Apprent-Bitch this year? Always a helpful companion to the show that one!

Steven said...

Not this year, I'm afraid - we're struggling to find the time to recap this one as it is, so we decided not to overstretch ourselves!

Rad said...

Yeah, if it was still on in Spring/Summer, we'd have no doubt done it.

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