Saturday, 26 November 2016

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Greg's favourite dances were the American smooth, the rumba, the Viennese waltz and the quickstep.
- Greg wants us all to stop giving Ed such a hard time.
- There were some last-minute changes made to Danny's charleston.
- Natalie and Joanne got Greg and Ore pink fluffy cowboy hats for their birthdays.
- Judge Rinder pronounces floral as 'florral'.
- Judge Rinder was channeling Popeye when he had to lift Oksana over his head.
- If Judge Rinder can't get his steps right this weekend he's just going to rip his top off for votes instead.
- Zoe has offered to advise Judge Rinder on what to use to bribe the judges.
- We're moving into calling Judge Rinder 'Rob Rinder' now.  It'll be Robbiekins by the time he leaves, at this rate.  If he can hurry up and get to just 'Rob' soon, that'd be much better for my voice software.
- Oksana thinks Judge Rinder will claw points back from the rumba during the rigathon.  Bless.
- Gorka and Karen are the two pros who eat the most, while Oti and Katya are the bossiest.
- Natalie's favourite dance is ALL OF THEM, THEY'RE ALL AMAZING. Bless her.
- The pro dancers learn their group dances in August initially, then have a refresher on the Monday before the live show.
- Oksana has been dancing since she was six, and BOY ARE HER LEGS TIRED etc.  She also became a dancer to live out her mum's dreams, which makes me feel sad. Aljaž has been dancing since he was three-and-a-half and competing since he was five, and Natalie started when she was three.
- If Oksana wasn't a dancer, she'd like to work with animals. Aljaž and Natalie think they might have been professional athletes instead.
- Karen Hardy seems to have made a skirt from brown parcel tape.
- In open dancing competitions, people just go into the middle and fleckerl until they're the last pair standing like some sick game of endurance.
- According to Janette and Melvin's silly chart thing, Susanna Reid had the best faceography in Strictly history.
- Bill Withers wrote 'Lean on Me' because he was homesick after moving town.
- 'Lean on Me' is also, apparently, rumba music now.
- Lisa the make-up designer gets asked about contouring a lot.
- Chloe has a great jawline that doesn't need contouring.
- Claudia has an olympic rings necklace.
- Claudia just bounced up and down in the jive when she forgot what she was meant to be doing.
- Both AJ and Karen think that the mistake in Claudia's jive was so subtle that no one at home would even have noticed it. Both AJ and Karen are deeply mistaken.
- Claudia is still in love with her prop dancers.
- Ian missed out on watching BLACKPOOL live because he was at a wedding.
- Ian thinks Oti and Danny might get the first perfect samba score.
- Neil has a Nice Coat.
- Neil's Cossack dancing teacher is the most Mancunian Cossack dancer you could imagine.
- Cossack dancing started out as a way of celebrating your victory in battle.
- Harvey the Runner's attempt at Cossack dancing looks very much like a frog jumping.  In a good way.  If that's possible.
- Kevin has gone back to wearing dodgy hats indoors.
- Frankie Bridge thinks Louise should have got 40 for her paso.
- Off-brand Zoe has been watching Kevin Bridge in the jungle.
- Kevin always casts himself as the irresistible romantic hero of all of his dances. Louise seems unmoved.
- It was Zoe's turn to have a birthday this week.  Johnny Ball brought her a cake with an adorable candleabra of birthday candles on.
- Judge Rinder has taken to wearing Oksana's knee supports in training.
- Everything about Ore in a navy vest and shorts, ankle socks and heeled black shoes flouncing about in paso training is hilarious.
- The pro challenge is back! But only 13 pros are taking part. They will have to do as many jive flicks and kicks as possible in 30 seconds.
- Joanne likes a long skirt.
- The show's mannequins are too 'big boned' for Oti's outfits.
- Vicky Gill does occasionally get people telling her they hate their outfits and having a flounce.
- Jo's office looking a bit 'officey' and mention of a table makes me fear her paso will have echoes of Robin and Deborah's desk dance from series 11.
- Aljaž likes to eat squid.
- Aljaž has developed Kevin's taste in dodgy hats.
- The pro challenge has opened, with Aljaž scoring 52 jive kicks in 30 seconds.
- Pasha thinks he can beat Neil in a sack race. PASHA CAN RACE INTO MY SA--[yes, THANK you - Ed.]
- Pasha is the pro who's the most addicted to his phone, while Karen and Brendan are the grumpiest pros first thing in the morning.
- Ore hasn't spoken to his mum all week. Guess he really took those comments about his figure-of-eight in the salsa badly.
- There are only six points separating Ore and Louise (i.e. Joanne and Kevin) on the cumulative scoreboard.
- Ed and Danny doing samba rolls together is perhaps the least erotic thing you will ever see.
- Karen C just casually hangs around with her leg on Neil's shoulder.
- Anton will be trampolining in the group dance.
- Katy Brand is happy with the final six, but she misses Daisy and her “huge megawatt smile”.
- Dan Walker used to be a Tameka supporter, then he was behind Greg, and now he’s supporting Louise.
- Miranda Hart wants Judge Rinder to be her friend.
- Katy Brand worries that Danny might be too good.
- Dan Walker thinks that if you put a tea towel over the top of the screen when Danny and Oti are on, you can’t tell which one the professional dancer is. Except you can, because Oti is shorter than he is, and also a black woman.
- Oti and Danny changed their final lift for the charleston right at the end because they couldn't get it right.
- Danny doesn't think you can compare any two different dances.  I'm not sure he's got the point of this show, to be honest.
- Oti prefers a more tribal-themed samba.
- Danny’s rehearsals for the Cha Cha Challenge have not been going so great so far, according to Oti.
- Ed is very proud of that one week he wasn't bottom of the leaderboard.
- Ed has been wearing Katya's cardigan in rehearsals.
- Ed is playing a Zoolander-type character in their tango.  (Also: Ed is (justover a year) younger than Ben Stiller, think of that what you will)
- If Craig had a 9.9 paddle, he would've given Danny's charleston a 9.9.
- Craig gets annoyed by the other judges not using their full range of paddles, especially as he thinks the paddles below 4 are the 'most interesting'.
- If Craig could've partnered one of the celebs, he would've liked to do a jive with Jill Halfpenny, or anything at all with Gethin. (Careful, Craig, maybe Gorka's the jealous type.)
- AJ has never done an Argentine tango before.
- Oti has never tried to break a record before. Apart from that time Danny Mac TRIED TO MAKE HER LISTEN TO COLDPLAY, RARRRRGGHH.
- The secret to controlling your arms and legs if you're lanky is to strengthen your core.
- Oti did 57 kicks and flicks in the pro challenge, but had eight disqualified, so her total stands at 49.
- Miranda Hart misses Vincent and Flavia.
- Katy Brand and Dan Walker think Claudia (Winkleman, judging by the pronunciation) is going home this weekend, and Miranda Hart thinks it's either Judge Rinder or Danny.
- Katy Brand's head wants Danny to win but her heart wants Ed to win, Dan Walker wants Louise to win, Miranda Hart wants Ed to win.
- Natalie prefers Zoe to Gethin.
- Gethin seemed a bit lost without Gorka this week.  Sending you our best wishes, Gorka!


F a t i m a said...

Can't help thinking that a "tribal" Samba might go the same way as that "Bollywood" Salsa the other week

F a t i m a said...

Oh dear, was I wrong – but credit me for not deleting my original, which I almost just did

DeltaBlues said...

"Kevin always casts himself as the irresistible romantic hero of all of his dances. Louise seems unmoved."

Three months of Kevin's overwrought choreography and increasingly clunky motivational life coaching washing over Louise while she wonders what to put in the boys' sandwiches summed up in two sentences.