Saturday, 12 November 2016

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Giovanni was not familiar with 'How Am I Supposed To Live Without You' before this weekend.
- Laura's main thought during her samba dance-off was "wheeeeee!".
- Laura wants Ore to win because that means she could claim she could've been second. Sort of. Not that anyone ever comes second on this show these days.
- Karen Hardy thinks that all of the remaining couples are brilliant and amazing. #bringbackchloe
- Ed is really jealous that Louise got to do the first Argentine tango because he's always wanted to do one, and when if/when he gets to do one, Ed wants to be the girl.
- Hot Greg the floor manager spends half his time looking for Anton.
- Anton is a massive fan of Gary Barlow.  Le sigh.
-  Anton loves it when you get surprise pairings in the dance-off.
- Taking part in this year's Christmas special are: Denise Lewis, Pamela Stephenson, Melvin Odoom, Frankie Bridge, Ainsley Harriott and Gethin Jones. This would appear to be what we call "a mixed bag" in the trade. (Please partner Gethin with Gorka, Gorkin 4eva.)
- This was the first week people talked to Ed more about the dancing than the "entertainment" (even though there was less dancing to talk about).
- Ed and Katya were more impressed with a 6 from Craig than an 8 from Bruno.
- Ed's salsa will involve some of the 'Gangnam Style' choreography. No word on whether it will include any actual salsa yet.
- Ed and Katya will be trying to recreate and improve the lift from their American smooth this week. She'll only have herself to blame when she's in A&E with concussion.
- Ore was prepared to be in the bottom two because everyone's so good at this point.
- Joanne's response to being in the dance off was that they just need to dance better.
- Joanne had expected Ore to fall to pieces in the dance-off because he's so emotional.
- Ore's rumba will not be all that sexy because Joanne thinks they are not sexy people.
- Karen H still has a problem with Danny's posture because he sticks his chin out.
- Apparently 'I Heard It Through The Grapevine' is now Argentine tango music.
- 'Groove Is In The Heart' is older than all the following pros: AJ, Chloe, Oti, Gorka and Giovanni. Just kill me now
- This week the pro outreach programme saw Neil learning bhangra dancing. No, seriously.
- Bhangra originated as a dance of farmers in the Punjab region.
- Greg correcting his thumb during his Viennese waltz wasn't actually in response to Craig glaring at him, that was a coincidence.
- Natalie and Greg didn't get the chaise longue until very late in the rehearsal process so they had to blag their way through a little bit.
- In Saturday's rehearsals, Natalie's heels kept ripping the velvet upholstery on the chaise.
- Greg's paso will be "very raw and authentic". Here for it.
- Natalie got 35 for her pasos with Ricky Whittle and Scott Maslen. Not Tim Wonnacott, sadly.
- BREAKING NEWS: the rumba is still a difficult dance for a man.
- Ore still hasn't learned to do a figure 8 with his hips.
- AJ is still persisting with the chin-fluff and it's still not quite working.
- Claudia has to stroke AJ's face in the Viennese waltz but she's struggling to do it without laughing.
- Claudia's gymnastics career has taken her many places but never to BLACKPOOL.
- The less complex you made a foxtrot, the better it is. (That must be what was wrong with the series six final; all the foxtrots were too complex.)
- Anton thinks Strictly foxtrots tend to be too 'clonky' to get perfect scores.
- Foxtrot is apparently a difficult dance for women, not that we ever hear about that.
- Louise doesn't think she can be as camp as Kevin.  She's not that familiar with some of her own pop videos, in that case.
- Darcey thinks her tenure as a Strictly judge doesn't feel as long as it has actually been. Speak for yourself, bab.
- If Darcey were competing on the show, she'd want to dance with Natalie, Oti or Aljaž. Solid choices.
- Judge Rinder's iPod doesn't really have any music on it dating later than about 1950.
- Laura may have been this year's designated superfan, but it appears that Judge Rinder has been watching It Takes Two for years.
- The foxtrot was the dance Judge Rinder always wanted to do, because his 90-something grandparents have always loved dancing it and are coming to see him on Saturday.
- Danny Mac has a selection of rehearsal outfit poppies.
- Vicky Gill says "layer" the same way that Mary Berry does.
- Danse avec les stars is currently in its seventh series in France and averaging five million viewers.
- Theme weeks in France include personal stories week and new dances week (featuring Bollywood and flamenco), so our theme weeks don't look so bad now, huh?
- Their staging and props are also more cumbersome than ours.
- The "flamboyant judge" on the French version spends even less time in his seat than Bruno does.
- Daisy was dreading being made to dance to 'Daisy Bell' because she was teased with it since being a child.
- Following the success of the Viennese waltz, Aljaž is going to put bicycle moves in all of Daisy's routines from now on.
- Daisy goes "wheeeeeee!" every time Aljaž lifts her.
- Aljaž has been struggling to learn the words to 'I'm a Little Teapot', substituting teacup for teapot, and sprout, stout and snout for spout.
- Zoe can totally rock a bright pink jumpsuit.
- Danny kept forgetting his jive right before the show last week.
- Danny has been waiting his entire life to get 10s for a jive.
- Gloti (Oti’s nickname over at Monkseal’s blog) has officially been incorporated into canon (or used in a caption on this show, which is close enough)
- Danny’s legs are still hurting after the jive and he’s been taking ice baths to try and help.
- Oti and Danny weren’t entirely sure about the choice of ‘Heard it through the Grapevine’ for their Argentine Tango.
- AJ and Chloe are going to front this week’s group dance.  Justice for Chloe at last!
- Zoe’s way of introducing this week’s Friday panel of Anneka Rice, Mel Giedroyc and Dave Myers? ‘Two TV legends and a hairy biker’ #shaaaaade.
- Anneka Rice thinks Louise is sassy. I guess these things are relative, huh?
- Mel Giedroyc has decided Louise reminds her of Pamela Stephenson. I am struggling to imagine their being forthcoming columns about the sexual energy between her and Kevin.
- Anneka Rice decided to cope with Trump by getting pissed and (imagining?) shagging Ore.  WHAT, THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.
- Dave Myers thinks the foxtrot dance is the same thing as the fox hunting foxtrot and says he can imagine Judge Rinder out hunting foxes. I'd be careful what you say about lawyers, Dave...
- In the Christmas show, Ainsley will dance with Karen; Gethin with Chloe (hooray!); Janette with Melvin again; Frankie with Gorka; Pamela with Pasha and Denise with… Anton?!? The Friday panel are all over Pasha and Pamela.
- Mel Giedroyc has officially opened the campaign for Anneka Rice on Strictly 2017. It does kind of feel like she should have done it years ago, after all.  I await the inevitable helicopter entrance…
- The strategic positioning of a scarf over the word ‘Jordan’ on Greg’s sweater doesn’t hide the massive and very recognisable Nike Jordan logo, BBC branding police. Unless they just didn't want anyone to think of James and Ola.
- Greg and Ore walk around together in their shanks all the time.
- Craig thinks that ‘this year’ the audience will decide the winner. Has no-one actually told him in the past few years?
- Bruno is this series’ highest scorer with 650 points awarded this series, followed by Len on 639 and - Darcy on 635. Craig has given 563, which he says is because he’s the only one scoring in a British way. 
- Gethin’s behind the scenes interviews aren’t even pretending to be live in the evening now, as he’s saying ‘morning’ to the stars with bright sunlight streaming into the rooms.
- Gethin calls VTs ‘films’ bless him.
- Gethin and Daisy like to hang out watching Greg playing with his belt.
- Oti has the most beautiful face Anneka Rice has ever seen, coupled with the most amazing boots.
- Mel Giedroyc would like Danny and Oti vs Greg and Natalie in the dance-off to shake things up.
- Dave Myers thinks one of his dances had the biggest standing ovation in Strictly history.  The notion of a standing ovation on this show lost any meaning about 10 series ago, so that’s not an especially interesting or impressive boast.
- The ‘let’s get Ed to BLACKPOOL and no further’ journey storyline has begun in earnest.
- Mel thinks any of the previously non-dancing-off couples could go this weekend, Dave thinks Daisy and Anneka thinks Greg.
- The show thinks the perfect music to soundtrack the celebs waxing lyrical about their pros is Daniel Merriweather’s ‘Red’, a song about one partner’s unhappiness in a controlling relationship.  It’s uncertain if this was a cock-up or a mega burn.
- The lifts in Kevin and Louise’s American Smooth might be underwhelming.
- Louise’s eldest son wasn’t keen on the sexiness of their AT.
- AJ’s advice for Gethin on working with Chloe is to get it right first time. We believe it.
- AJ and Chloe are playing a real couple in their dance for Remembrance Sunday and the couple themselves will be in the audience.