Sunday 5 November 2017

Beat(en) Again

Week 7: Top 10 Results - 5 November 2017

We open with the promised pro dance to a Prince medley. Apparently due to budget cuts, everyone's outfits for this number have been sourced directly from Neil's wardrobe. That's the best reason I can come up with for the...alarming array of different prints on everyone, anyway. (Unless...oh my god, it's a prints medley. Vicky Gill, you're a sly one.) The first song is 'Let's Go Crazy', which segues into 'When Doves Cry' as the women dangle from clothes rails on casters (couldn't they have just got Rachel Stevens to come back and do her Argentine tango again?) and of course it ends with 'Purple Rain' as Neil and Katya get the showcase spot while everyone else wafts purple umbrellas around in the background. The umbrellaography is very good, but I feel terrible for the runner who's going to have years of bad luck for opening them all indoors.

Enter Tess and Claudia, wearing an asymmetrical maroon dress and a white lace dress with black chevrons respectively. They outline for us what we can expect from the rest of tonight's show, which essentially amounts to: the results, the dance-off, Stereophonics, the dance debrief, and someone going home. Talk about a shit sandwich.

First, though: bonus backstage footage! Debbie is feeling nervous this week, Alexandra feels that it is such an honour to have made it this far (calm down, babe, we're not even at Blackpool yet), Gemma hopes the dance will work out okay, Susan thinks that everyone who works at Strictly is wonderful (has she been possessed by Brendan, can somebody check this please), Aston checks out his wig and says it's why he said yes to Strictly (I'll take "statements you'll reconsider in the morning" for $500, Alex), Ruth wants the wardrobe team to live with her forever, Mollie never wants it to end, Davood things the studio is incredible without anyone in it, Joe's really enjoying the charleston and hopes everyone else will too, Aston thinks it's hard to see people leave the competition (foreshadowing!) and Jonnie hopes that the judges are in a good mood. With the show underway, Joe thinks that getting a 9 from Craig is like getting a 10 under any other circumstances, Susan thinks that Strictly is about fun and going for it, Davood really enjoyed this week's performance, Mollie was pleased to have lovely comments but wishes she'd done better, Jonnie's love of lifts apparently extends to the backstage area as well, Gemma thinks her scores weren't great but she had fun, Ruth will never forget her paso (and neither will I), Janette reminds Aston that he's still here and still alive and kicking, Alexandra's holding Family again, and Debbie can't believe she got all those 10s.

The cue cards have decided who is at risk tonight, and Tess is merely their powerless messenger. The following couples are safe and through to next week: Alexandra and Gorka, Jonnie and Oti, Debbie and Giovanni, and Susan and Kevin. And the first couple in the dance-off is...Aston and Janette. Mollie literally says "WHAT" out loud (I love her so much), Katya looks ill, and Davood is basically doing the exact same expression he wore for his rumba last week. Aston and Janette have a long walk over to Tess past a bunch of other couples who are doing their best to be supportive, particularly Gemma who practically hurls herself off the stage trying to give him a reassuring pat on the arm. Tess tells Aston that they're all shocked, and Aston says he feels like he's let Janette down a bit. Yeah, I think the problem might be the opposite of that. Shirley advises Aston to focus on the performance this time around, because that will elevate it.

The four safe couples so far have joined Claudia through a rift in space and time, and the first item on the agenda is that it's Susan's birthday on Monday, and it will be the best birthday in all of her 43 years because she's still on Strictly, and all she wants for a present is to keep dancing because it is the best thing that has ever happened to her. I mean, I'm glad Susan's having a lovely time, but also: I think we get it. [They are... quite a gushy bunch this year.  Except Davood who barely ever says anything - Rad] Claudia tells Jonnie that he's back to ballroom with foxtrot next week, and Jonnie says he felt quite worried this week, but it's amazing to have people voting for him, and he hopes that he'll be back up to standard next week. Debbie says that every day has got better this week, and she's in a dream - she can't remember having a feeling like the one she had doing her tango [A++ punning on your song there Debbie very good - Rad]. Alexandra and Gorka have the first Argentine tango of the series next week, and Alexandra is a little apprehensive but she knows that Gorka (/whichever choreographer for hire is assigned to it) will create something truly special.

Next: Stereophonics with their new single. Nope. Not even Chloe actually getting to dance to this one can persuade me to sit through it. Sorry Chloe.

Once we're finished with that, it's Dance Debrief time again, and the first thing Claudia wants to know is if her posture's all right this week; Shirley assures her it's beautiful. First up for analysis is Davood, and Shirley says that he really stepped up his game "today" (oops) with wonderful footwork and a beautiful frame and of course That Lift. Darcey is asked about Gemma's lifts, and that first lift is played back in slow-motion, which is such a cruel thing to do that it makes me wonder if Gemma's fallen out with someone backstage. Darcey reiterates that it's important to lift out of your core and not sink into it - she needs to stay long and flat. Amirite, ladies? Craig, of course, is reminded that he bowed at the feet of Debbie McGee this week, and he clarifies that he's not ill, he was just really impressed by a really great ballroom tango with technical proficiency. Alexandra's cha cha cha is shown as an example of precise and clean foot placement, and Bruno says that she's able to sell it without shorting on the accuracy. And of course we end with a slo-mo shot of Ruth and Anton collapsing at the end of their paso. Icons, both.

Who's joining Aston in that dance-off? Well, it's not Joe and Katya (who scream and throw their hats in the air) [BUT WHERE DID THEY LAND? - Rad], Ruth and Anton, Davood and Nadiya or Gemma and Aljaž (who are left until last and really seem to be sweating), leaving poor Mollie and AJ in the dance-off for the second week in a row. Mollie tells Tess that she's gutted to be here again, but it was entirely her fault that she tripped and she just has to try to do it better now. Bruno tells her that the first performance was very well-judged and she mustn't think about the part where she messed up because that will make her tense, so she should just treat it like a first performance and give it her all.

In the Clauditorium of Safety, Claudia reminds Gemma that she got motion sickness just doing the foxtrot, so it's not the best of news that she has the Viennese waltz next week. Gemma remembers the judges advising her to spot, so she's going to take that on board. Ruth giggles that her paso was "unforgettable", and has decided to carry on the use of wigs into her everyday life, which I can only applaud. Claudia congratulates Davood on the bum lift and he says he's happy to incorporate that into everyday life, and for a minute I think Joe and Katya are going to tell us that they're going to dress like wooden soldiers every day from now on, but thankfully no, they just talk about doing the rumba next week and Joe says he's going to come in with an open mind and "wiggly hips".

So Tess and Claudia are on the balcony with our two endangered couples of the week, and Tess says that it's worth remembering that Ore was in the dance-off at this time last year and he went on to win. I mean he's more of an outlier than an example to follow, but I guess you take your comforts where you can find them. Claudia asks Mollie if she's going to smash it, and she says she's very sad because she's loved the journey, but she's going to give it her all in the dance-off. She heads down, and Aston says that his is a great routine to one of his favourite songs, so it's all fine.

Mollie and AJ reprise their foxtrot first, and I worry briefly when her feet leave the floor the first time AJ spins her around since that technically makes it an illegal lift, but she nails the pivot this time
around and gets a little smatter of approving applause from the audience for doing so. It's not quite the barnstorming redemption that a poster on Digital Spy was claiming, but she does clear up the obvious mistake that hampered her score in the first place, so I think she can call that a win. Aston and Janette do their Viennese waltz next, and it's still sluggish and lacking in dynamism and contains too much rise-and-fall. I don't know if there's much Aston could've done to save it in the time that he had, really, because it's a dud of a routine, but he doesn't even really bring that much more performance this time around like Shirley asked.

So, let's see where the judges fall on this one. Tess stresses that their decision should be based on that dance and that dance alone, and that Shirley gets the casting vote in the event of a split decision. Craig thinks both couples improved, but based purely on technique, he votes to save Mollie and AJ. Darcey wishes she didn't have to choose between them (but ya do, Blanche! Ya do!), but the couple she wishes to save "based on a more assured performance" is Aston and Janette. Bruno would love to keep them both because they're both much improved and they both ironed out some problems from Saturday night, but he felt that the performance that had much more power and impact was Aston and Janette. So Shirley's vote comes into play for the first time since the first elimination, and she says it's a difficult decision, but for technical accuracy and beautiful flow, she's going to save Mollie and AJ.

So that's how it ends for Aston: not with a bang, but with a whimper. I have to say, right up until yesterday I was utterly convinced that Aston was guaranteed for the final, because I couldn't see him losing a dance-off to anyone except perhaps Alexandra or Debbie, and the possibility of any of those three being in the same dance-off seemed fairly remote, and now here he is losing a dance off to Mollie, of all people. But honestly, if we're taking the rules of the dance-off at their word and saving purely based on the 'save me' performance, then I think it was the right call: of course Aston was stronger overall, but Mollie was better tonight. And yes, she had better materials to work with, but them's the breaks sometimes. [Agreed... but I'm shocked they didn't save Aston for a bullshit reason given on Saturday their comments and scores indicated how over Mollie they were.  Still, I guess if he isn't picking up votes in a week where he was clearly in danger, then... - Rad]

Aston tells Tess that he's got friends who have done this show before and they've told him he's going to love it, and they weren't wrong. He thinks everyone on the show is amazing, particularly his castmates, and with a little prompting from Tess says that he won't forget being a Troll for Movie Week in a hurry. Janette is choked with emotion and says "I don't think I'm ever going to have the opportunity to dance with someone like you again" (and yep, I think that's true in many ways, because I think Janette's had all the ringers she's going to get now - she's had three and managed to do progressively worse with each one) because he's so talented and lovely and such a good friend, and there's a bit of an awkward cut here, which I'm guessing may be a result of some serious sobbing.

Tess promises a special group routine for Remembrance Day next week, and then Aston and Janette have their final dance to 'Easy' by the Commodores, which Aston opens with a cartwheel into a back somersault. I bet his showdance would've been really something. As you'd expect, those post-elimination reactions tonight are quite sombre: Susan can't believe Aston and Janette are gone, Debbie thinks they're superstars who lit up the studio every week, Gemma thinks no one should have been in the bottom two, Mollie says that being there for the second time in a row felt like a nightmare come to life, Davood is feeling bittersweet about still being in the competition at Aston's expense, a visibly upset Alexandra is grateful to the people who've supported her (and Gorka appears to be crying too), Jonnie is thankful for the voters every week, Joe is looking forward to the rumba, and Ruth and Anton stage one more pratfall for the road.

Quite an eventful week, wasn't it? Join Rad next week to see if this is just the tip of the iceberg...

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