Jonnie B Gone

Week 9: Top 8 Results (Blackpool Week) - 19 November 2017

We open with the much-promised tribute to Northern Soul, which begins with a fantasy sequence set on the bus that all of the pros take to Blackpool (I can see lots of empty seats, such a terrible waste of licence payers' money), with the camera slowly moving down the aisle until we get to Anton on the back seat. Okay, first of all, I refuse to believe that Anton would get the back seat. Brendan mooning out the back window, sure. Aljaž and Janette canoodling, quite possibly. Chloe and AJ, firing spitwads at everyone? Absolutely. But Anton would be near the front, somewhere close to the driver where he could be sure to offer tips about the most efficient route. Or somewhere in the middle, near the toilet, he's not as young as he used to be. Anyway, fed up with these young whippersnappers and their choice of songs from the hit parade on the radio, Anton slips his headphones on and listens to something more to his taste. Oh wait, my mistake, he pops on a bit of Frank Wilson's 'Do I Love You', which transports him back in time to the early 70s. It also appears to have popped the mother of all hideous wigs onto Neil's head. Ruth Langsford would never have stood for this. Then we're inside the ballroom, with a mixture of professional and very enthusiastic amateur dancers and the music changes to John Newman's 'Love Me Again' and eventually the celebrities arrive. Susan has been placed at the front of their group, which is certainly a choice, although Joe flailing his arms about in the background like he's absolutely off his face on disco candy is the best bit. In case you're wondering who besides Neil got the short straw from the wig department: Brendan. Definitely Brendan. On the other hand, Chloe's wig (a blonde pixie cut) actually really suits her. It ends with Anton crowd-surfing, as all good imaginary nights do.

Tess and Claudia arrive: Tess is wearing a long-sleeved sequinned outfit that I actually rather like, and Claudia is wearing something from the Bet Lynch nightwear collection, which I am less keen on. We go through the usual rigmarole of the rules and bringing the judges back in - two at a time this time, perhaps to prevent further tardiness from Shirley. Tess teases music ahead from Michael Ball and Alfie Boe, and also Tears For Fears, and Claudia reminds us about that Dance Debrief. [And still using the frame by frame nonsense in that preview - Rad]

But first! Backstage footage, starting with a bizarre VT where Shirley is in a limo on her way to pick up the other judges, meeting Darcey at "the chippy" where she brings with her a portion of greasy fried potatoes that will surely make a dent in their security deposit, picking up Bruno in a pink "kiss me quick" cowboy hat, and finding Craig outside the studio where he admonishes them for being late because "we're about to go live". Considering Darcey's outfit and hair are very noticeably nothing like they were on Saturday, I would say this is a slight stretch of the actual timeline. Inside the ballroom, Susan says it feels like a school trip, Mollie thinks you can sense the adrenaline, Debbie thinks the room is beautiful, Joe can't believe he's there, Gemma is both FROM Lancashire and IN Lancashire right now, Alexandra just loves being here, Jonnie thinks everything is bigger and better, Davood thinks they're all creating wonderful memories. Greg tells everyone to get ready, and Debbie wishes Jonnie good luck (foreshadowing!). Post-dance reactions involve Davood saying he will never forget it, Graham Norton being agog at Joe's lifts, Debbie saying she knew she would have a great time, Mollie crying because she never thought she'd get this far, Susan having loved everything about her paso, Jonnie being happy to be at Blackpool having fun, Alexandra's boyfriend not knowing how she does it, Gemma being thrilled to have got two 10s and a standing ovation from Shirley for her birthday, and Lenny Henry thinking he needs a lie down now. And if he doesn't, Peter Kay certainly does.

Time to find out who is safely through to Blackpool Hangover week: Gemma and Aljaž, Susan and Kevin (who look very surprised) and Davood and Nadiya. Facing the dance-off? Debbie and Giovanni. There are howls of outrage from the audience, and Debbie appears to be swallowing a little bit of sick back down her throat. As with Astongate, we get some shocked reactions - with Alexandra and Mollie looking particularly horrified. Tess asks Debbie how she's feeling, and there's a moment's hesitation before Giovanni leaps in to speak on her behalf and say it's great that they get to do it again. Tess coos "awww, aw you wost fow wowds?" at Debbie in that sickening baby voice of hers - I've thought for a while that one of these days Tess is going to try that voice on someone who is really not in the mood for it and get a sock in the jaw for her trouble, and I can't help thinking it might have crossed Debbie's mind. Shirley says she's surprised to see her in the bottom two [I'm not. Duff dance draw, middle table scoring. Also I couldn't vote for her as I was in the theatre,  so that probably sealed her fate -Rad], but she needs to soften her knees and lower her heels a little bit this time around.

Claudia's with the three safe couples, and Davood goes on a lengthy Grampa Simpson-style monologue about forgetting his lucky socks this week and thinking it was curtains for him, but it turns out everything was fine. Nadiya says that Davood is an amazing student and a great friend, and she's going to do her best to get him to the final. Susan's foot tattoo story gets another airing, and she says that she knows people think she's the worst dancer left, but she's trying really hard every week. Kevin tells her she's a BEAUTIFUL DANCER. Gemma says that this has been an amazing week for her, and she wants to thank Aljaž for his wonderful choreography.

Next? Tears For Fears singing 'Everybody Wants To Rule The World'. Not entirely sure why, there isn't even any dancing to go with it. Still, it fills time, doesn't it?

After that, it's time for Dance Debrief, and Shirley shows us what she meant when she was complimenting Davood's twist turns, and she talks about the smaller details that Davood brings to it. A slo-mo replay of Alexandra's quickstep shows how the dancefloor is springing, and gives Darcey another chance to drool over her steady topline. Craig takes another look at Susan's paso and says she's using it more like she's in a can-can, and she needs to take the full length of the hemline and use it like a cape. Bruno wants to talk about Gemma, and how she moved smoothly in and out of the lifts, which shows she's really taken the judges' feedback on board. Claudia brings up the fact that next week is the show's inaugural pasodoblathon, wherein seven couples will be doing simultaneous pasos, and Shirley says it will be a big challenge for all of them. We close with a shot of one of the tech crew sliding along the floor on his stomach, clearing up the confetti. I'm sure he's thrilled to have that broadcast to the nation.

Who's joining Debbie in the dance-off? Over to Tess. Safely through to next week are: Alexandra and Gorka, Mollie and AJ(!) and Joe and Katya, leaving Jonnie and Oti in the dance-off for the second week in a row. The sportsman vote petered out at exactly the same time in the last two series, didn't it? Jonnie doesn't seem too upset, and says that he's already exceeded his expectations just by getting this far in the first place. Bruno says that it was a very interesting and creative dance, so Jonnie just needs to do the same again, but maybe tuck his bum under a little bit.

Back to the Clauditorium (honestly, I'm getting whiplash) where Mollie genuinely can't believe she's safe and going through to week 10. Alexandra has the rumba next week and is nervous about it, but vows to give it her best. Gorka says that every Saturday she impresses him more and more, and he couldn't be prouder. Joe is asked what he has planned for the pasothon, and he says he might just kneewalk all the way around because the judges liked that last time.

Another musical interlude, this time from Michael Ball and Alfie Boe singing 'New York, New York'. They have the professional dancers with them though, so this feels less of a waste of our time.  [It is still a fucking racket though. - Rad] It's nice to have some proper ballroom set pieces to go with the Sunday music - it's a particularly good showcase for Amy, who hasn't necessarily had the best opportunities to show herself off yet.

We cut from that to a scary close-up of Tess, so close that I'm pretty sure I can see her tonsils when she introduces this week's It Takes Two promo. Then we're back with Debbie and Giovanni and Jonnie and Oti, and Claudia asks Debbie if she's regained the power of speech yet. Debbie has, but it's a little bit clipped and defensive and a lot of talk about how she's FINE and it's all FINE and she's had FUN and she's going to have to go out there and have FUN all over again. Giovanni tells her to do what she did the first time around and just enjoy it. They head out to prepare, and Jonnie says he's going to try to hold a nice topline, keep his bum under, and just have fun. Oti tells him to just enjoy it, but also to stand up straight. Heh.

Debbie reprises her samba, and I don't mean any disrespect to Debbie in saying this, but she is dancing it rather like somebody who didn't anticipate being in the dance-off tonight and who kind of started mentally erasing the choreography once she'd finished it the first time around. She's professional enough to carry it off still, but it just looks a little rougher around the edges than it did before, and there are one or two parts where I'm not wholly convinced she remembers what's supposed to come next. She also takes one of the running promenades at such a lick that she almost goes right over, and probably would have done if Giovanni hadn't been holding her up. By the end of it she's back in the groove again, but unfortunately that rough section on the Amazon Echo podiums is still there and still awkward.

Jonnie and Oti tackle their tango again, and his is probably closer to an improvement on the original than Debbie's as he does seem to be trying very hard to keep his bum tucked in, but there are still a few moments where his frame sags in the heat of the moment. It's a tough one, this: if we're judging on these two dances alone, Debbie still has the edge in terms of raw talent, but Jonnie has done the better job of fixing his mistakes from earlier. You could make a case for either of them, really.

But what case are the judges going to make? Craig votes to save Debbie and Giovanni for technical cleanliness and outstanding performance skill. Darcey thinks both couples made such improvements (lol no), but she saves Debbie and Giovanni for a technically more competent performance. Bruno thinks they both gave great performances, but he saves the couple who are much stronger overall, which is Debbie and Giovanni. So Jonnie and Oti are out, and Shirley agrees that she would've voted to save Debbie too.

Jonnie says that he's massively honoured to have been the first disabled contestant on Strictly, and he's very grateful to the judges for judging him as an equal. He hopes that he's paved the way for other, better people than him to give the show a go. He also wants to thank Oti for pushing him so hard, and for her outstanding choreography. She has been great this year, it's true. I'm going to miss Oti. Oti says that this was a life-changing experience, and that Jonnie shows you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Jonnie and Oti go off for their last dance, to 'You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling', and are waltzing confidently around the floor before the music even starts. Aww. Insta-reactions: Davood says Jonnie is the nicest guy and he's gutted that he's gone, Alexandra thinks Jonnie is an inspiration, Debbie is sad for Jonnie but glad that she survived, Gemma is very chuffed to have survived, Mollie and AJ are so open-mouthed in their glee at making it through another week that I think they might actually be Muppets, Susan can't believe she's made it to week 10, and Joe thinks that dancing at Blackpool will be an experience he will never forget. And even if he does, it'll be on YouTube.

Next week: join Rad for the inevitable Blackpool hangover, ameliorated by the pasodoblathon! I can't wait.