This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

Monday

• Rylan is now a robot (sort of).
• This year, Zoe is going to do Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and Rylan will be Thursdays and Fridays.
• Zoe has some natty new specs.
• Oti was not ready for what Bill brought on Saturday.
• Bill wants to do the show properly rather than just being a Komedy Kontestant.
• Bill has had a lot of comments about his golden trousers.
• Bill's arms have been so destroyed by training that he couldn't lift a cup of tea to his lips.
• This week Bill and Oti are dancing a quickstep with a Doctor Doolittle vibe to it.
• Bill thinks Craig is the prophet of dance, or "Nostradanceus".
• David Baddiel is team Bill.
• HRVY's mum has an eye for a natty jumper.
• HRVY had nightmares about falling over.
• HRVY threw up after the dress rehearsal.
• Janette is making sure HRVY gets his vitamins.
• HRVY is an Ariana Grande stan.
• Zoe would like everyone to remember she got 9s in week one.
• This week HRVY and Janette are doing a Viennese waltz.
• Clare Balding thinks this might have been the best first week ever.
• Katya's brain exploded when she realised she didn't have to stick to the normal rules this year.
• There's quite a lot of crossover between boxing footwork and quickstep footwork.
• Boxing has made Nicola's shoulders very tight and closed in.
• Katya was very chatty during the quickstep performance.
• Nicola and Katya are doing the first Couple's Choice of the series, and it's street dance.
• No singing is allowed in the studio for obvious reasons.

Tuesday

•  Natalie Lowe's baby Jack is very cute and sleeps for 14 hours, but she doesn't want that to be widely known (sorry Natalie).
• Natalie thinks HRVY led Janette like a pro, but he was a little bit flat-footed in places and she thinks we'll be seeing that jive again before the series is over.
• Jacqui was a bit straight-legged, but Natalie thinks she did well considering they threw props at her in week one.
• Natalie thinks Bill is "fun fun fun", but not technically amazing.
• Natalie expects big things from Nicola, but needs her to lighten her frame.
• Max's head was encroaching on Dianne's face space during the tango.
• Which seems like the shadiest way of saying he has a big head, no?
• Jamie and Karen have got into face masks.
• Caroline wasn't expecting the judges to be as generous with their praise as they were.
• Caroline burst into tears when Motsi said "I didn't see a dancer" and almost didn't hear her say "I saw a dancing queen".
• Gaby Roslin wants Caroline to win.
• Zoe thinks Roslin is fickle so she might change allegiance.
• This week Caroline and Johannes are doing a paso doble to 'El Gato Montes'. She thinks she's really going to enjoy it.
• Caroline thinks you can either do the Paso 'really annoyed' or 'cross and sexy' and she's into the latter.
• Natalie thinks Gorka threw 'everything and the kitchen sink' at Maisie.
• Natalie is a big fan of Johannes, legends stan legends.
• Clara had a few heel leads in her cha cha cha, which are a no-no, lest we forget.
• Natalie thinks Jason's ballroom frame was the best ballroom she saw on the night.
• Natalie agrees with Shirley that Ranvir is the most improved since the launch show.
• She was especially impressed with the skirtography.
• Apparently Karen told Jamie that he wasn't on show in those tight white trousers. Having watched the show back, he disagrees.
• Jamie describe his genitalia as his 'religion' and Zoe thinks they're 'phenomenal'.
• Jamie messed up the first steps of his cha cha cha and likens the experience to knowing you've failed your driving test at the very beginning but still having to see the entire thing through.
• Everyone keeps telling Jamie he messed up because he was the first dance of the
• Jamie keeps getting distracted by how great a dancer Karen is.
• This week Jamie and Karen have an American smooth to 'Night And Day' by Frank Sinatra. 
• In training this week Karen has been telling Jamie to be "light but grounded" and he is finding that very confusing.

Wednesday

• According to Luba, you would think sportsmen would be strong but they are weak. 
• Jason needs more breaks than Luba would like.
• Jason refers to the training room as the "laboratory".
• Jason's daughter is super-cute and loves dancing.
• Jason and Luba are doing a salsa to 'Get Lucky' this weekend.
• Ian Waite's mum is obsessed with Jason.
• Jason's pixellated 'enjoyment' face looks like Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
• Ranvir and Giovanni are doing a quickstep this weekend and Ian is very impressed with her footwork and body contact, but thinks she needs to stretch more.
• Ian is digging Jamie's tight trousers.
• JJ and Amy are doing a paso this week and he's got nice heel leads.
• Maisie and Gorka are doing a tango, and Ian would like to see her get more down in the knees.
• Max and Dianne are doing a jive, and Ian thinks it's looking good.
• Max is not used to how live TV works.
• Some of the pictures from Max's "photoshoot" with Dianne behind the camera are not hugely flattering.
• The show is still trying to sell the narrative that members of The Wanted can't dance.
• Max and Dianne are dancing to 'I'm a Believer'. No word yet on if he'll be dressed as Shrek.
• HRVY's ringer powers are still in action in ballroom.
• Nicola is slightly behind Katya in the training footage for her street/commercial dance.
• Jacqui and Anton have got a samba.
• It's very hard for Ian to demo how to do the steps properly and still stay 2m away from Zoe.
• Ian's a bit in love with Caroline.
• Caroline's paso doble is missing a lot of heel leads at the moment.
• Bill's quickstep has a lot of changes of rhythm.
• Clara and Aljaž are doing a Viennese waltz and she needs to learn to drive forward a little bit more.
• Clara has good taste in suits.
• Aljaž is still obsessed with the caption that he gets on his name chyron.
• Aljaž is a bit bitter about the '5' they got but has decided it's Craig counting them in with a 5, 6, 7, 8.
• Jameela Jamil is backing Clara to win the series. Oh well, never mind, eh?
• Clara spent most of Sunday in an adrenaline comedown. 
• Clara still doesn't like wearing heels.

Thursday

• Rylan only does shows with numbers in them now: The One Show, It Takes Two, Supermarket Sw33p, Ready Steady C00k, What Not 2 Wear...
• JJ thinks putting a character on for a dance is like putting a uniform on in the military.
• JJ is used to slumping his right side because his arm hurts, so dancing is fixing his posture.
• JJ and Amy will be dancing to 'Believer'.
• Amy thinks it's JJ's military background that makes him think nothing is ever good enough - but she likes that.
• Oti has devised a "shame frame" for Bill that she attaches to him to sort his posture out.
• Vicky Gill's job is harder this year because she can't get close enough to the celebs to get the exact shape of silhouette they might want.
• Luba has three layers of skirt for her samba.
• Vicky Gill is not normally a fan of the colour 'tropic lime'.
• Rylan is anticipating Caroline touching the divine again this week.
• Jacqui had a moment after her dance where she couldn't remember anything about it. Lucky her.
• Rylan will happily take a 'pow pow woof'.
• There's going to be some shouting in Jacqui's samba. Possibly from me, in agony.
• Anton's samba that he's put together for Jacqui is his favourite samba he's ever done on the show. And with such stiff competition!
• He says it's 'pure out of the box samba' and I feel like we've heard that from him before.
• Rylan reminds you not to call Ofcom when the pairs kiss and cuddle because they're in bubbles.
• Maisie really enjoyed the samba and ideally would just like to do that every week.
• Maisie is going through a box of plasters a day because she hasn't worn heels since 2019, and her feet can't handle it any more.
• Natalie Cassidy has been sending Maisie a lot of messages.
• Maisie is trying to downplay being a ringer because she hasn't been 'dancing for 20 years' (as she's only 19).
• Maisie is having trouble stopping smiling in the tango.

Friday

• Jamie will be descending from the sky on a moon for his dance tomorrow.  He hates heights and is not excited about it.
• HRVY and Janette will be dancing under some Halloweenesque green lighting.
• This week's Friday panel is Michelle Visage, Jenny Ryan and Gaby Roslin. Apparently Jenny has been petitioning the BBC to be on the Friday panel for years - and to think we had to put up with Rufus Hound all those times.
• Michelle has been hanging out with Alex Scott and Dr Ranj, and she's still having dance lessons.
• Michelle wears a facemask with fringing all over it.
• Gaby cried at the opening episode.
• Gaby doesn't look at the feet, just the face.
• Jenny thinks it's too soon for Couple's Choice. (It's always too soon for Couple's Choice tbh.)
• Gaby thinks Max is 'a delight to watch'.
• This week's pro dance sees Janette playing a little girl in a scary fairground and Luba playing the fortune teller.
• Ranvir thought she did alright on the launch show. Clearly she hasn't watched it.
• Michelle and Ranvir are already arranging some sort of First Wives' Club WhatsApp where they talk about Giovanni.
• Giovanni gives you no choice in how you perform.
• PRS MRGN blames Charlotte Hawkins for Brendan leaving the show.
• Ranvir is getting the hang of gliding into the movements when Giovanni counts in "seven-eight".
• The set design crew now have to start work on everything nine days earlier because they're not allowed to have as many people in the studio so everything takes longer.
• If you like leaves and flowers, Saturday's show is for you.
• Jenny thinks Jamie's been overthinking things over the past year and it's impacting his dancing.
• Michelle, Jenny and Gaby all think Jacqui and Anton are going home.