Singh off

Week 8: Top 5 Results (Semi-Final) - 13 December 2020

We open with a rumba-contempowaft pro dance to 'Running Up That Hill' in which Luba and Graziano are in love, he gives her a massive necklace and a sad and lonely Karen wears a trenchcoat and watches them. Aljaž plays some sort of demon feeding on Karen's jealousy, and he gives her the same necklace as Luba, which is her cue to go all Single White Female and dress the same as Luba before snaring Graziano by the power of, er, the same jewellery he just bought someone else, then all the other pros play some sort of polyamorous sex demon minions tempting both Karen and Graziano and doing weird cheerleading towers (but from hell). Then Luba wears Karen's trenchcoat of loneliness, Aljaz and Graziano spit roast Karen, Karen takes the necklace of evil off and Luba ad Graziano get back together. Also loads of fire goes off everywhere, and there's a rotating dancefloor the whole time, and it's completely bonkers but quite enjoyable.

The hosts enter, Tess in black and white, looking much better than last night, and Claudia in all black. They tell us Jason Gilkison choreographed that dance as if you couldn't tell. The judges enter, and Shirley and Motsi are also in all black, with Shirley looking like the kind of gothic goddess she should have been for Halloween. Craig injects some 'colour' into proceedings in a grey jacket. It's nearly Christmas guys, lighten up! Claudia previews Little Mix giving a special guest performance but we'll have to wait and see if there were three or four of them at the time it was recorded, ooh, the anticipation.

Bruno's recap of last night includes Bruno calling Ranvir's waltz 'exquisitely elegant' and saying that Maisie's VW had an effortless quality and we see yet another clip of Maisie's couple's choice where they were massively out of sync. Guys, at least try and find a bit that makes it look 30-worthy. 

With Tess and the cue cards of doom, everyone's in their first dance outfit except for HRVY and Janette. She reveals that Maisie and Gorka are safe, and the room erupts. Also safe? HRVY and Janette. So we've got a dance-off between two of the 'journey' contestants, but which? Surprisingly, they don't call Jamie and Karen, but Ranvir and Giovanni. I guess they're doing that to give a greater feeling of Bill being in danger, because there's no way Jamie's going to beat Bill.

Giovanni and Ranvir confirm that of course they're doing to do their waltz, and they'll just enjoy it. Motsi says she's gained so many skills and has proven she's a great dancer, so she just has to put beauty on the dancefloor and just enjoy it. Ranvir says she enjoys the feeling of dancing with Giovanni so it's a pleasure to do it again.

In the Chatterpillar's 'retirement party' we learn that Maisie is the youngest-ever finalist, and I can't be bothered to fact-check that, so sure [It's true - before this, the youngest finalist was Matt Di Angelo, who was 20 at the time. Chris Parker was also 20 in the series one final, but he was closer to being 21 in his final than Matt Di Angelo was in his. Also in the process of fact-checking this I learnt that Matt Di Angelo's birth name was Mario Constantinou. - Steve]. She thanks Gorka for always believing in her and Claudia asks which dance the girl 'who likes Latin' will do and she laughs 'the quickstep', because why wouldn't you redo that dance when it was clearly the best and most audience-friendly? I am guessing the judges will choose a Latin, but I'd love to see that tango again.

Claudia reminds Janette it's her first final and Janette says she was going to cry but then she remembered her hair and make-up, and she thanks HRVY for being a good dancer. HRVY thanks the public for never putting him in the dance-off and giving him his 'first final. Well, my only final'.  Heh. [Until he comes back as a pro next year!!!! - Steve]

Time for our Little Mix guest performance, and no Jesy, so it must be a recent recording. Leanne looks awesome in a green jumpsuit, Perrie looks like your big sister from the 80s and Jade is wearing an 'interesting' feathery dress. The song is fine but not too memorable, indeed 'just another breakup song' as it goes. Johannes and Luba come out and jive a bit, then do more of a rumba/contemporary bit, and as much as it's nice to see them both again, I do feel so sorry for the spare pros who are now doing nothing, as Steve said last week.

Dance debrief sees Bruno saying Jamie's hoedown quickstep was a big risk but he thought it was a lot of fun, and he might have been tempted to give it a 9. Sure you would, hun. Shirley explains what she means to 'drive' from the standing foot - using more of your weight. Motsi shows the timing where HRVY stopped in his rumba and Craig demonstrates the difference between a still torso and a moving one in Charleston. Well, it took us until their advice was too late to matter, but we got some helpful tips at last.

There's then a judges' best bits but it doesn't include Shirley saying 'Learn', or 'I love heavy metal' so it's a total bust. (Also no JudgeAnton LOL)

We get a preview of this week's ITT, which will include Harry, Kelvin and Stacey returning this week; confirmation that the mysterious Kim is alive and well and still podcasting with Joe, and all the extras: Strictly: Untucked; TikTok; YouTube; Facebook; Instagram; Twitter; microfiche; Enigma code; semaphore and Google Wave.

And then it's Bill vs Jamie in the biggest foregone conclusion of the series. To no-one's surprise, Jamie and Karen are hitting their fourth dance-off. Jamie says he's proud that they've managed to be in over 50% of the dance-offs and that's their medal. Heh. Craig says Jamie's 'just like me, you see positive in everything' and tells him to get his hip rotation going, and reminds him that the judges have saved him every time.

In the Clauditorium, Bill says it's been an extraordinary experience and he was prepared for it to be tough and physically demanding but he didn't expect it to feel so liberating. 

We then get a trailer for next week in which they all loom over the glitterball, but no-one touches it because the show is Covid-compliant.

Before the dance-off, Tess reminds us Ranvir scored two points higher, and I don't know if that's to pre-empt any complaints that Jamie's going home despite being higher on the leaderboard, but it seems likely.  Jamie dances with a lot of gusto and energy, even if it's imprecise technically, and the audience cheer really loudly, especially Maisie, who screams, which seems like a response to them having their final dance rather than that being an epic dance that will keep them in.

Ranvir's waltz is still quite doomy, especially as she looks pretty miserable throughout, but it's clearly a cleaner and more precise performance, and I don't see her going home on the back of it.

Craig says one couple did an explosive and fabulous salsa, and the other did a dreamy waltz, and he wishes he could see both in the final. he then stutters a lot, and chokes up, in a way I don't think I've ever seen, before saving Jamie and Karen. Motsi says they were two beautiful dances but she'll save Ranvir and Giovanni. Shirley says she's grown to love both and they had musicality and gave their all, but one couple had more determination and for that reason, she's saving Jamie and Karen.

Well. Colour me shocked, especially after last week where Ranvir was building up real momentum. She did seem a bit more low-key tonight and I don't know if that affected the judges' decision, because she certainly seemed down in the dance-off performance. I would say she and Jamie have been the two biggest surprises of the series for me - from the launch show I'd have had them not much higher than Jacqui and I can't believe both had a decent shot at being in the final. I think if Ranvir had managed to shake off her self-consciousness a bit more in Latin she'd have had a really strong chance of winning. but she did always seem more comfortable in hold (and doing crappy lifts for the American Smooth was probably quite costly in the long run). I will miss her, though, and I think good things await professionally. [Anything that gets her away from Piers Morgan, ideally. - Steve]

Ranvir says she feels sorry for Giovanni. Eh, he's been in the final loads, he'll be fine. Giovanni says he's proud of her discipline and growth, especially given her early morning starts. Her best bits remind me just how lovely she looked in her quickstep hair and outfits. She says her 10 for the Argentine tango was a highlight. I probably won't tell her than an Anton 10 doesn't really count, and let her have that moment. Giovanni says he hopes she really feels happier and she understands more what a great person she is.

They dance out to 'You're My Best Friend' and that leaves us with Jamie'n'Karen, Bill'n'Oti, HRVY'n'Janette and Maisie'n'Gorka for the final. Is Bill Bailey still a shoo-in, or is HRVY's public vote bigger than I think? Has Maisie won the public over, or will she be competing with Jamie for fourth place? One thing's for sure, Steve will be here to see us through it all, and I will be back with the easy job of adding asides!