Sunday, 2 December 2007

Finally outfox(trott)ed!

Week 9 results: Sunday 2nd December

"Last" "night", the couples fought it out over two dances each. There are only three weeks until the final, and the judges' expectation have been raised, we are informed - and they bickered a lot to prove it. Or something. Gethin shocked everyone by getting many 10s, while Letitia and Kenny sucked. But who will be the next couple to face the chop?

Let's welcome the celebs and their partners back to the floor, along with Bruce and Tess - but don't make too much fuss; the audience have already welcomed them once, after all. Tess is wearing a reasonably inoffensive dress which is gold with a strap over one shoulder. Bruce announces that the professionals are going to be doing a Latin dance medley; one person in the audience cheers. We also have a special performance from Vincent and Flavia to look forward to, and Kylie Minogue will be performing her new single, along with the professional boys, who are "so excited they're jumping around like a bunch of kangaroos". Because Kylie is from Australia, geddit?

First, because you can never have too much filler, a quick reminder of what happened last night. Kenny and Ola were in last place, but his mum is still proud of him, bless. His foxtrot was passable but his rumba was appalling. Mark Durden-Smith calls Kenny a "Scottish lothario", and Gabby was amazed at his facial expressions. So she's obviously never experienced the "look of love", then. Letitia's quickstep lacked spring and her chasses were "too skippity". I would say she didn't do a bad job since she was holding down the vomit though. Her cha-cha-cha was worse, but she looked like death warmed up by that point, and Jane McDonald felt sorry for her. Darren is proud of her, though. Drink! Backstage, Arlene says Letitia has gone "back ten paces" this week, which I think is a bit harsh given the circumstances. [Yes, that was a weird comment from Arlene. Maybe she'd been on the gin again? - Carrie] Matt and Flavia's tango was dubiously choreographed, but Louisa Lytton thought they should have got 10s. [Oh. Well, that's OK then. - Carrie] Flavia reckons they've done it better in rehearsals, and Matt feels like he let Flavia down. Their rumba was better, which told a great love story. Arlene liked Matt's arms, but Bruno wanted more "lubricated hips". Matt feels that he "buckled under pressure, unlike some other couples" *cough* Alesha and Matthew *cough*. Although I found Alesha and Matthew a bit underwhelming this week, they got 38 for their tango. Len says Alesha has talent, which you can't teach, but Arlene expects perfection from Alesha - which is a bit unfair, some might say. [I would say that. - Carrie] Alesha says she knows she can do better and isn't sure that she deserved the high points she got - but Matthew earned the points for getting his chest out. [And at this point, all the haters who claimed Alesha is getting too big for her boots - my mother included - were proved wrong. Hooray! - Steve] Finally, induced multiple personality disorder seems to have worked for Gethin, who wowed the judges with his romantic waltz and shimmying salsa. His dad says the whole family is overjoyed. As well as the whole of Wales, presumably. [Gethin's dad is my third-favourite supporting artist, after Alesha's nans. He's great. - Steve]

In case you were confused by their scores and comments, Bruce has a chat with the judges to see what they thought of the dances this week. Bruce jokes that while the other judges are writing notes, Bruno is writing his list for Santa, adding, "I hope you get that scooter!" Bruno responds, "A Lamborghini please!" Hee. Anyway. Head Judge Len emphasises that LEARNING TWO DANCES IN A WEEK IS VERY HARD. Drink! Craig was impressed with Gethin, who has "lost all sense of inhibition, which is what dancing is all about".

Now the professionals are going to perform a Latin medley, which starts off with a cha-cha-cha to 'Dancing In The Street', and then changes into a salsa. The men are all in black and don't even have their chests out, so what is the point, really? The ladies are in skimpy but incredibly ugly flouncy outfits of various descriptions, but all involving lime green and pink. I note that Anton and Erin barely feature - but then Anton doesn't see the point in all this Latin nonsense. Hee. [I did enjoy that - Anton and Erin snuck on at the end, and could just imagine Anton moaning back stage: "All that wiggling. What's the point?" - Carrie]

Backstage, Tess commends Gethin for being top of the leaderboard, and everyone else applauds - Matt looking pretty reluctant about it. [Strictly Slashwatch - Matt pats Gethin's knee proudly. Awww. - Steve] Still, Matt shouldn't be too grumpy - at least he's not at the bottom, like Kenny. Kenny sounds resigned to his fate, saying that he has "enjoyed every minute" and that "whatever happens, happens".

Time for a quick plug for It Takes Two. It's SUPERFAN WEEK - Pauline Quirke (honestly, doesn't she have anything better to do?), Paul Whitehouse and Marian Keyes will all be joining Claudia in the studio, plus the usual training updates, etc. [Why have they not asked us on yet, please? - Carrie]

For some reason Vincent and Flavia are doing a waltz. Any excuse to have Vincent on - it's not as though it's their speciality dance, is it? [I thought that. I do not want to watch them waltzing. I want Latin fire from them. - Carrie] Perhaps Vincent thought Flavia and Matt were getting a bit too cosy. Anyway, they're dancing to 'Kissing You' by Des'ree - and I'm worried the singer might murder it, but she does alright until the high notes right at the end. Yeep. Vincent and Flavia are all in white, and do some good Acting at the end. Awww.

Bruce goes over to get Arlene's comments, but she's a bit flustered because the dance was "so moving". Once she gets herself together, she says she loved "Glorious Gethin", who "took two dances and made each of them his own". Drink! Bruce asks Bruno who he was disappointed with, and Bruno replies, "How can I be disappointed?!?"

Bruce introduces Kylie - "I asked if she'd like to sing one of her hits with me. She said I should be so lucky." Ha! Kylie is singing her latest single '2 Hearts', which is not a cover of the Phil Collins song. I'm not sure about her black dress - if it was in white, she'd look like a meringue. I like the sparkly microphone though. She has all the Strictly boys as dancers, which is surely every girl's dream. [And every 1-in-10 boy's dream, I should think. - Steve]

It's almost time to find out who's in the dance-off, but first we have to watch a pointless VT about how NOBODY WANTS TO BE IN THE DANCE-OFF. It is terrifying, awful, horrible, etc - and could be the last time you'll ever dance! Yes, yes. Getting down to business, the couples who are safe are: Gethin and Camilla; Alesha and Matthew; and Matt and Flavia. That means the worst two couples are actually in the dance-off for a change, and unless the judges really have lost their marbles, we should finally get rid of Kenny. [Fingers crossed! - Carrie] In her pointless link from the balcony, Tess says, "We don't want to say goodbye to anyone at this stage." Except for Kenny. We've been wanting to say goodbye to him for some time, as it happens.

It's a shame this isn't live on Sunday because Letitia would have had more chance to recover. She and Darren are doing their quickstep again, and I can't imagine all that bouncing up and down is good for a poorly stomach. Kenny and Ola are re-dancing their foxtrot. Kenny's arms at the beginning are terrible, and I hate that stupid bit of choreography where he stands around a bit chatting to the judges and then runs across the floor to Ola. Is that dancing? I'll leave you to decide for yourselves.

At long last, it's decision time for the judges (and Crunch Time for one of the couples). Craig says he is voting "based on the dance-off alone", and he's voting for "musicality and showbiz" - Letitia, of course. Arlene says she "never thought it would be such a difficult choice" - oh, come off it, Arlene. Are you seriously asking us to believe that you considered voting for Kenny? Fuck the fuck off. She goes for Letitia because she put in the spring that Arlene thought was missing "last" "night". Bruno says that "one person tonight raised their game and excelled", and for a moment I was worried that he might vote for Kenny just to be contrary, but he votes for Letitia, meaning that she's through and Kenny is out. Whoop whoop! [HOORAY! - Carrie] Bruce asks Head Judge Len his opinion "just to make sure", although it wouldn't actually mean anything even if he disagreed. Len tells Kenny, "If I could judge with my heart, it would be you, but I have to judge with my brain." I'll be expecting more sensible judging from Head Judge Len from here on in, then. Kenny wants to say thank you to everyone behind the scenes. This isn't an Oscar speech, Kenny - you've lost, you know. Ola does deserve thanks for putting up with him for this long though. [Strictly Slashwatch - there was some excitement over reports that Gethin kissed Kenny goodbye, but having replayed it several times (because I have nothing better to do), I don't think he did. He's just pressed up against Kenny's cheek so closely that it looks a lot like it. Kenny does appear to have his hand on Gethin's bottom, though - I'm not saying a word. - Steve]

With Kenny out and three more weeks to go, the competition is getting serious. There'll be "double trouble" again next week, so be sure to tune in!

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