This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Everybody's jealous of Bloody Lulu, but she can't help it that she's so popular.
- Apparently the person who's third from bottom with the judges being booted passes for a SHOCK ELIMINATION in these troubled times.
- Brendan is rehearsing with Holly while Artem is injured.
- Robbie made his mum, dad and wife cry with his dancing. And then Craig's score made him cry on Twitter, why are you always so mean, Craig, WAAAAAAAAH.
- In rumbas and cha chas we walk, in samba and jives we step, and in the paso we march. Thanks Karen!
- Artem and Holly's choreography was definitely not wrong for a jive. Thanks again Karen!
- James's interest in Alex as anything beyond an extension to his own ego grows less with each passing second.
- The extensive fashion coverage is still something I do not give one tiny shit about.
- Obviously we're very sympathetic about Artem's back injury, but he's kind of hilarious when he's spaced out on painkillers.
- Holly did the dress rehearsal of her jive with Bruce. Marvellous.
- Brendan will be rumba-ing with Holly this weekend as Artem clearly can't. Artem is determined to be back for BLACKPOOL Wembley.
- Russell is apparently doing the first quickstep-based American Smooth since Alesha's.
- Beverley from North Wales was the only person who (a) thought Jennifer Grey was good and (b) missed Len.
- Brendan, James, Robin and Artem all told Kristina that Jason's rumba was the best male celebrity rumba they'd seen. Of course, at this point Artem was on so many painkillers that he thought Jason was a giant banana.
- Harry's mum sends very eloquent text messages. She also calls him "Dinky", tee hee.
- Aliona is responsible for Harry's frequent exposing of bare skin. See, she's useful for some things.
- Aliona is also planning to incorporate drumming into the paso doble, should they get to dance that. This seems...ill-advised.
- Russell can't watch his own performances. NOW YOU KNOW HOW WE FEEL, GRANT.
- I will do anything to avoid actually having to listen to Russell witter on for ten minutes while Flavia and Zoe desperately try to get a word in edgeways, up to and including tidying my sock drawer.
- The "if we can just make it to Wembley" card is being played a lot at this point.
- Tamzin Outhwaite thinks Robbie has lovely top lines, but is bothered by his "broken wrists".
- Natalie had a poorly tummy this week. GET WELL SOON NATALIE <3
- Michael Ball thinks Jason is "living, eating, breathing" this competition. Assuming we're talking about the scenery, then he's definitely doing the second one, yes.
- June Brown has danced Viennese waltzes in Vienna. She's so awesome.
- James does not care for rehearsal etiquette if there's a camera pointing at him.
- The Strictly ladies went out for a knees-up together on Thursday. I'll assume my lack of an invitation was a mere oversight.
- Chelsee definitely trains in the proper shoes, but somehow the cameras just never seem to capture it. Hmmm.