This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- James injured his ankle during rehearsals on Saturday, so Denise is training with Ian this week. Of course, technically the rules state that she should be dancing with the last professional dancer of the appropriate gender to have exited the competition, but since that would have been Anton, clearly special measures have been taken. SPECIAL RINGER MEASURES.
- Erin was very ill last week, and passed it on to Flavia and Louis, because she's ruthless like that.
- Zoe cried for the first time this series watching Colin and Kristina getting eliminated.
- Craig might be up for filling in for James if required to do so. EVEN MORE SPECIAL RINGER MEASURES.
- There should be a liquid in the rumba. I knew it was meant to be the SEXY DANCE OF SEX, but that seems to be going a bit far.
- Fern and Artem's current plan for his next outfit is suede chaps.
- Craig's excuse for all those ridiculous alliterative words he rolls out during judging is that actors like them when he uses them in his day job. Now more than ever I'm disappointed that Alesha didn't rap all of her critiques when she was on the show.
- Craig knows his Prodigy albums

- Craig wants to see Nicky actually dahnce.  Don’t we all, dahling?
- The greatest jives in the world are all about turning.
- The answers are always in the music. Also, the cake is a lie.
- Michael and Natalie enjoy injuring each other in rehearsals.
- Julien McDonald pronounces the word "volume" in a really peculiar way.
- The secret to a good tango is to dance like you're in a vase.
- Kimberley's going to be dancing an eros this weekend, whatever that is.
- Louis's attempts at impersonating the male pro dancers are surprisingly good.
- Louis's mum Elaine keeps turning up at training and interfering. Flavia enjoys this, Louis does not.
- Despite the injury, James is vowing to dance on Saturday - but he's had to make their paso doble easier to avoid making his ankle worse.
- Erin's attempt to make the gayest dances ever sounds like it's about to go nuclear with the Charleston.
- Karen's putting more content into hers and Nicky's routine this week.  So the odd two steps rather than just the odd one?
- Fern and Artem are going for 'bumography' this week.  Eep.
- Zoe is always hungry when Pasta... Pasha is around.  Flithmonger.
- Pasha's hair is getting steadily worse :(
- Zoe thinks Pasha is a mix between Edward and Jacob from Twilight. OH ZOE.
- Kimberley wouldn't mind dancing to a Girls Aloud song - 'The Promise' or 'Love Machine', probably.
- James is jealous of Ian. Colour us all shocked.
- Bruno is encouraging Darcey to be naughty.
- Darcey says "pacific" instead of "specific". And you thought Alesha saying "you was" was bad.
- Robin is the vainest person in the world.
- Karen Hauer thinks she was named after Karen Hardy. THE SHADE OF IT ALL.
- Richard Arnold is the Charleston.
- John Partridge calls Denise an old pro.  Ouch.
- Zoe does a passable Ruth Madoc impression.
- Connor Maynard is YOUNG and not actually Justin Bieber which one of us thought when they heard his single.
- Su Pollard's understanding of cricket is that people "catch the ball" and then "do the bat".
- The animal of the week voted for Nicky and Karen to top the leaderboard.  Presumably it thought it should vote for who was going home.
- Victoria's proudest moment is turning twice, 'all by myself'.
- Vincent seems to think he is the Fonz now. He possibly sustained some sort of blow to the head.
- Dani has been teaching Vincent the difference between "pause" and "pose". LOL COMEDY FORRINS.