Saturday 16 November 2013

This week on It Takes Two we have learnt...

- Natalie's collapse from exhaustion was, according to her, due to not having enough cake and telly.
- Natalie is feeling much better and will be able to dance in BLACKPOOL this weekend, unless she and/or Artem manage to maim themselves in the interim.
- Pasha SELFLESSLY volunteered to dance with Susanna because Kevin had a cold last week. Such a hero.
- Dave and Karen's Paso Doble got one of the biggest standing ovations ever on Strictly, according to what Dave was told.  Surely a proper standing ovation would always be roughly the same size?  I am doubtful of the methodological validity of such a claim.
- Craig thinks he was lucid for the first time this week because he was finally off the meds.
- Not having given 10s by this stage in proceedings is apparently something Craig now has to justify.
- It was Craig’s wheelchair that got used to take Natalie out of the studio after she fainted.
- Craig thinks Charleston is a very individual thing and based on the personalities of the dancers.  Mm-hmmmm.
- Sophie’s charleston is still the best of the series. SOZ ABBEY.
- Craig thinks people only really like Ben because of how he looks. IMAGINE THAT.
- Fiona had to deal with Anton's bull out on the floor.  Insert joke about his cha-cha incident here.
- There is a goat near Anton and Fiona's training room that she's named Gary.
- Iveta believes Mark can do anything.
- Mark has been teaching Iveta to improve her English pronunciation in exchange for her teaching him how to dance. With mixed results, obviously.
- Janette and Aljaž are cohabiting, the SINNERS. (Their flat is really nice.)
- Aljaž likes playing soccer video games and drinks a lot of pineapple juice.
- Janette only owns two cookbooks and they are both Hairy Bikers ones.
- Which would explain why their diet seems to be solely ham and bananas.
- They also seem to be quite into Game of Thrones.
- Janette and Aljaž's flat has a view of the Gherkin and the Shard. Damn, how much do you get paid for being a pro dancer on this show, exactly?
- Karen Hardy is surprised that the things she writes on Twitter are not held in the utmost secrecy.
- Karen Hardy would like to point out that when she danced with Ramps, they didn't get 10s for ages.  Not that she'd want to make a thing of that or anything.
- Patrick's dancing character was ' I want to dance with this girl'.  Such an acting challenge!
- Len had an hour-long attack of the vapours during the slip-up in Patrick and Anya's dance because he'd clearly been itching to get his ten out for some PROPA BALLROOM WIV NAH FAFFIN.
- Ian Waite is not impressed by Blackpool having been there hundreds of times.
- Abbey and Aljaž had already discussed the possibility of her hat falling off in training.
- Abbey got thrown out of ballet classes (dirty ringer) as a little girl for looking at her hair in the mirror and not paying attention.
- Natalie Lowe is due to see her doctor on Friday and should hopefully get the all-clear to dance again the pro routines.
- Mel and Gordon's wedding dance will be a fusion. Don't think we didn't spot that attempt at foreshadowing that it might be back, show.
- Natalie has received her invitation to the wedding of the couple she's been teaching to dance, but has not bought her hat yet.
- Ben has been greeted with "hello, sailor!" a lot this week.
- Kristina loves it when the judges fight.
- The Gumede/Chigvintsev Injury Train rolls on: now Artem's hurt his neck trying to lift Natalie.
- Artem is very kind to snails.
- Artem doesn't remember the last time he was at BLACKPOOL and got two tens because he was too busy being injured.
- Brendan and Sophie's Argentine tango wasn't supposed to be flamboyant. So there.
- Sophie has a lovely big bruise on her knee from that Argentine tango.
- Karen Hauer is the grumpiest dancer in the mornings, closely followed by Kristina and Artem.
- Kristina thinks Brendan is the vainest dancer. Brendan thinks it's Kristina. Pretty much everyone else thinks it's Artem.
- Susanna has mastered the steps of the paso, but is finding it hard not to giggle.
- Kevin's entire family is going to be part of a big dance number this weekend.
- BLACKPOOL is bigger than London. (The dancefloor, that is, not the town itself.)
- Jason Donovan gets upset when the pro makes the dance all about them. Can't imagine how that might have happened.
- Frank SINATRA performed in BLACKPOOL.
- Artem and Natalie will perform the first BLACKPOOL Strictly Charleston.
- The chap who hand-sews all the sequins is referred to as the Chief Embellishment Officer.
- Janette isn't sure that Blackpool is all that compared to Miami.
- Zoe doesn't know what twerking is. This may be for the best, all things considered.
- Ana Matronic wants BENZ GUNZ to win. Jason Donovan is rooting for his kindred spirit, Patrick, whilst La Prenj favours Abbey.

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