This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- You can tell when a ghost is Kevin because it’s wearing glasses.
- Greg the hot redheaded floor manager gets to be part of the comedy VTs on It Takes Two these days. If he carries on at this rate he’ll be famous enough to be a contestant next year.
- Susanna made the same “brown nosing” joke as us about Anton’s make-up.
- “Nightmare on Elstree” is such a good pun that it really should’ve been in the main show.
- Pasha needs a lot of tissues. Insert masturbation joke at Steve’s expense here.
- Rachel would’ve been Marilyn doing a foxtrot if she’d got to Blackpool.
- All anyone needs is a little wink from Pasha. Yes, “wink”. Get your minds out of the gutter.
- Craig’s hip surgeon is called Justin.
- Iveta thinks there’s nothing wrong with a little disco, and how right she is.
- Mark really wants a dinosaur move in one of his routines.

- Aljaž doing Scouse dialect JUST WON'T DIE.
- Abbey is doing a charleston to ‘Cabaret’ this week. WHEN SHE GOES, SHE’S GOING LIKE ABBEY!

- Wearing a poppy in one’s hair is an appropriate way of marking remembrance week - or it is if you’re Karen Hardy.
- If the legs and the body come together as one in a paso, it can look stiff and stompy

- Karen Hardy wants to see Sophie in pain.

- Karen would have given Susanna’s Charleston a 10.
- Artem is happier with nines than tens, because tens are harder to deliver a follow-up to.

- Being a fashion designer… and lecturer gets you on the show.  Therefore surely being a strictly blogger… and lecturer means my call is mere days away…

- Strictly dance shoes have metal plates put in them

- 350 pairs of dance shoes were made for Strictly last year

- The jive is not about kicks and flicks, per Brendan, it’s more about having a pumping action in your legs.

- Sophie’s pleased that she’s finally fucked up a dance now, because she’s been anticipating it since the beginning and now it’s out of the way.

- Sophie and Brendan have one-third of a scientific connection.

- Any criticisms you may have about Patrick’s technique? IT’S THE ARM. ALL DOWN TO THE ARM.

- Patrick loves that Harry Connick Jr album. You know, the early one.

- It was Patrick’s 50th birthday on Wednesday. Happy birthday Patrick!

- A tango face is different to a paso face because you have to look proud, according to Dave.

- Mark’s ambition this week is to get the arms and the footwork right.

- Ben is clearly really fucking fed up of people talking about his tits.

- Kristina went flying into a wall during training and hurt her foot.

- It’s quite hard for Susanna to access her soppy, romantic side when she’s come straight from The News.
- The men’s jackets are cut to fit properly when they’re in hold, so when they’re standing normally they do look a bit ill-fitting.

- You wouldn’t want to go up against Kevin in a lip sync for your life because you would be the one sashaying away.

- Kevin has a nasty cold. 

- Susanna would never have sparkly and pretty things in her wardrobe.  Don’t tell Julien!

- The one word that strikes fear into Susanna’s heart is “technique”.

- Lucky the dog tips Fiona and Anton for the top of the leaderboard this week. Well, someone has to.

- BARROWMAN still doesn’t have an indoor voice.

- BARROWMAN is a fan of Tina Turner.  Who’da thunk it?

- BARROWMAN also thinks Natalie will be out in the next two weeks because the public aren’t warming to her.

- But then BARROWMAN also thinks Benz Titz n Gunz is a good dancer, so whatever.

- There is a CHANCE that BARROWMAN is still a bitter bitch about getting voted off Dancing On Ice because the public and/or judges were EVEL HOMOPHOBES.

- Emma Willis thinks if she goes, the brilliance is gone, leaving everyone else a chance to shine.

- Suggs thinks wearing a shirt full of signatures is a good fashion choice.

- Iveta and Mark are treading on Fiona’s BOND toes.  Is this ramping up for BOND WARZ?

- Suggs wants LOLDave to win.  (Emma Willis wants Abbey and BARROWMAN wants Ben – don’t we all?)

- Ola has been taking tips from Kevin and invested in some glasses.