Saturday 17 October 2015

This week, on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- If you ask a guy to go for a swim with one arm, he's not going to go as fast as someone with two.  Thanks, Anthony!
- Anthony would have been doing the charleston this week if he hadn’t been eliminated.
- Anthony wants Oti to choreograph his next boxing entrance.
- He's also hoping to be back in the ring before Christmas.  Fingers crossed for you, Anthony!
- Peter's Bruno impression is woeful.
- As is Jeremy's impression of Karen.
- Jamelia thinks she could win the Academy Award for Best Giggler.
- Jamelia was channeling 'the Charlie's angel', which may explain why her dance was underpowered.
- Jay got nasty blisters on his feet
- The reference Steve couldn't make out in the opening routine was indeed Gone with the Wind.  Guess that means neither of us have ever watched it despite both being (in very different ways and if you go with loose interpretations of the term) media professionals.
- Jeremy looks at Darcey while he’s dancing to gauge her reaction.
- Jeremy and Karen use the judges' names for aspects of dance: Craig is posture, Darcey is lines, Len is the frame.  Presumably Bruno is the 'spontaneous' falling over, but they don't specify.
- Jeremy wants to correct Craig's grammar.  God knows where he'd start if he were to attempt that with Darcey.
- Karen Hardy thinks Katie can do amazing choreography.  So maybe should take over creating her and Anton's Latin routines?
- Karen Hardy thinks nothing matters in the early weeks.  Tell that to Iwan and Anthony.
- 'Social media' and Karen Hardy dare to blaspheme the name of the Holy Jive of St Jill (pbui) by claiming Jay's is better.
- For Giovanni, that rumba was amazing.  I'm sure Anton thought his cha cha was amazing too (LOLAntonLatin no he didn't).
- The person compiling the list of former Coronation Street women who have taken part in the show has clearly forgotten that time that Jill Halfpenny seduced Martin Platt.
- Ainsley has a startlingly healthy attitude to this competition. He doesn’t think he should get higher marks until he’s earned them. This all feels very strange.
- Natalie loves Rick Astley.  Rick Astley for Natalie in 2016?
- Pool 'sticks' and metal plates = 1980s according to choreographer Christopher.
- When a man opens a door for a woman, she feels amazing and he feels powerful, according to Karen Hardy.  #everydaysexism
- Ainsley and Natalie went wrong on Saturday because they were stepping on different beats to each other.
- Being told she looked like Flavia was the best compliment Anita’s ever had.
- Gleb’s facial hair grows very quickly.
- The Gleb Special is very well known in contemporary dance circles. Say no more.
- Rachel Stevens still holds the record for the most 10s ever received by a female celebrity. Apparently.
- Brendan doesn’t think he has enough time to fix Kirsty’s balance.
- Anton still hasn’t found away of addressing the criticism of the content of his cha cha cha with Katie without implying that he thinks she’s a bit crap.
- Katie can pick her own daughters out of a line-up.
- Ian Waite loves theme weeks.
- Ian doesn't think Natalie and Ainsley can avoid this week's dance-off.  Ouch.
- Jamelia thinks nobody knew that she fucked up the first lift of her salsa. Bless.
- Tristan’s worried that people think he pulled Jamelia’s hair on purpose, because he’d never do anything like that. Meanwhile, Jamelia didn’t even notice it happened.
- Jamelia knows what the charleston moves are called. Whether she can actually do them has not yet been proven.
- Jay and Aliona have got the earliest ever non-Donny 10 and the highest ever week 3 score (except weeks with five judges).
- Jay won a “best sport” trophy at holiday camp once. Not for being good at sport, but because he didn’t win anything else and was such a champ about it.
- The first run through of Jay’s jive in the studio with the band was terrible. ALLEGEDLY.
- Carol’s been showing Pasha her new muscles. DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY NEW MUSCLES PASHA?
- Carol laughs in the face of terror. Literally, they did a test and everything.
- Kevin and Joanne’s dad Keith Clifton has a column in the Grimsby Telegraph.
- Karen’s jive dress for this weekend was inspired by a rubber duck.
- The men’s shirts have a “body fitting” (basically a pair of pants) at the bottom out of sight to stop them from coming untucked during the dance.
- Daniel met Olivia Newton-John at the Royal Albert Hall this week for Cliff Richard’s 75th birthday. I bet there are some tales from that one.
- Aljaž loves the foxtrot because it’s the closest dance to walking.
- Zoe absolutely loves ‘Dr Beat’ by Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine.
- Helen can’t do cartwheels.
- As a roving ballroom reporter, Iwan makes a great former contestant.
- Alesha’s exile appears to be over, as she was on the Friday panel this week.
- Bonnie Langford went to see Mamma Mia! at the theatre on the same night as Jeremy Vine, and she saw him doing some proper dad dancing.
- Dan Walker thinks Anita is going to win.
- Alesha’s laugh is still amazing *quack quack quack*.
- Bonnie Langford did not like the Gleb Special because she thought it looked “uncomfortable and inappropriate for that time of night”.
- Foxtrot was the hardest dance for Alesha.
- Aljaž was not alive in the 80s.
- Kevin had a perm and a lot of shell suits in the 80s.
- Kellie’s lightsabre kept going off mid-routine during rehearsals for her charleston.
- Karen bought Kevin a lightsabre for his birthday and made him a cake.
- The wardrobe team are having to do lots of alterations on Fridays now because the celebrities are all losing weight.
- Peter had to use his wife’s make-up remover wipes to get all that guyliner off after last week.
- Robin Windsor’s A-Z is still a thing, thereby proving the non-existence of any and all gods.
- Alesha refuses to be drawn on who’s going home this weekend, Dan Walker thinks it’s Daniel, Bonnie Langford thinks Jamelia.
- Even watching Carmel Kazemi and Paul Coker doing The Strictly in Walford East tube station hasn’t convinced us to learn it.
- If Georgia could invite three people from the world of Strictly to a dinner party, she’d invite Iwan, Zoe and Claudia - “the whole Strictly team”. (LOL TESS)

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