Friday 23 October 2015

This week, on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Will Young’s acting still isn’t up to much.
- Kristina doesn’t take milk or sugar in her tea.
- Daniel’s elimination means he gets to see his granddaughter in Tenerife in November.
- All of this year’s celebs are besties, so don’t you go believing the tabloids.
- Kellie thinks when this is all over they should still all get together on a Saturday night and dress up.
- Gok Wan is happy to spell heck as 'eck but still ensures he puts a 'g' on blooming.  Zoe, however, opts for the reverse ('bloomin' heck') when reading it out.
- Joan Collins is a Jay fan.
- Ainsley got swept away in the music of the waltz.
- Ainsley's impressions and accents are as bad as Peter Andre's.
- Natalie does not like it when Ainsley goes off to practise on his own.
- Ainsley thinks all TEH MENZ are leaving because they aren't leading the women enough. FEMINISM GONE TOO FAR.
- Ainsley and Natalie get the same scores on alternate weeks: 20s (red tomatoes) alternating with 26s (green peppers).
- 20 eights were given out on Saturday.
- People at home take Karen Hardy seriously.  As I say to my students: provide evidence for that assertion, please.
- Karen Hardy thinks the pros are hiding the celebrities' weaknesses with their choreography.  She uses Jeremy and Karen to illustrate this point. Mmm-hmm.
- Karen Hardy thinks Jamelia is her 'quiet slow burner' (props for not falling into the dark horse trap.  Although: quiet?)
- Katie loved the Viennesse Waltz despite all the spins.  Sadist.
- Anton told Dave Arch to speed the music up, and he also increased the pivots in the dance as they rehearsed, and when they danced for real they ended up doing even more because Anton got lost with his timings.
- Katie’s daughter (the one who called Anton tragic) now thinks she is a “legend” for topping the leaderboard.
- Anton remembers being top of the leaderboard with Lesley in series one, but not being top with Patsy or Laila. He probably hopes we've forgotten about them too.
- Kevin gets nervous before every performance but tries not to let his partners notice.
- Discos (or discothèques if you’re fancy) first started in Paris during World War II.
- Jamelia’s Irish accent is…not good.
- Karen Hardy isn’t much of a singer, and neither is Ian Waite.
- Kirsty didn’t put a foot wrong in her paso doble, either in the original performance or in the dance-off. According to Kirsty, anyway.
- Anita’s getting quite bored of seeing Gleb with his clothes off. (The liar.)
- Anita and Gleb have “quite an intense relationship”.
- Anita having a rage fit is just the most adorable thing.
- Peter thinks ‘Rock With You’ is probably the greatest Michael Jackson song ever.
- Ian Waite thinks nobody is going to have a standout dance this weekend (then again, he once said Chelsea Healey’s quickstep was going to be shit so take that with a pinch of salt).
- Jay’s had another haircut already. Hot damn those are some powerful follicles.
- Aliona thinks caping is “a boys’ thing”. YEAH YOU HEARD HER KELLY BROOK.
- Anita thinks she and Gleb should be Tom and Jerry for Hallowe’en. Gleb thinks they should be dinosaurs.
- Pasha is quite keen for Carol to do the weather with a paso face.
- Vicky Gill’s definition of “daywear” is perhaps not quite the same as yours or mine.
- Katie and Anton will be doing their first lifts this weekend.
- Karen stole the Jeremy-running-around-in-a-circle-on-the-floor thing from Grease, not The Simpsons.
- The aforementioned move made a hole in Jeremy’s shoe, which was apparently the first time wardrobe have ever had such an issue.
- “Foot reader” is an actual thing. And you thought the experts’ job titles on The Great British Bake Off sounded made-up.
- Mark Feehily from Westlife is now going by “Markus” and looks…weird nowadays.
- Giovanni dislocated his shoulder in training this week. It popped back of its own accord.
- Georgia doesn’t know who sang ‘Le Freak’.
- Giovanni doesn’t know how to do the hustle.
- The best positions to perform in at the Night Of 100 Stars are first and last.
- One of Ian Waite’s old dance rivals knew Aljaz when they were kids.
- Chris Hollins is now 2st heavier than he was in 2009.
- Due to a Freudian slip, it seems Jodie Kidd thinks Kirsty has been awful so far.
- John Partridge thinks nobody wants to look at the man during a paso because it’s all about the woman swishing her skirt.
- Peter thinks Len’s name is super-fitting because he is a GOOD MAN, and that rumba is funny because IT SOUNDS A BIT LIKE ROOM. (Delete ur account Peter.)
- Janette thinks Peter delivers “literally 150% of his heart, body and soul” on the dance floor. Dancers and maths, eh?
- Janette and Aljaz stood Peter up for dinner.
- There was a section on Friday’s section “interviewing” the props. The props had googly eyes added to them. There is a possibility that this whole “60-minute show” thing wasn’t fully thought through.
- Last year Mark Wright wanted everything tighter, smaller and sexier. Costume-wise, just to clarify.
- In one of the camera rehearsals for the salsa, Aljaz dropped Helen during the lift at the end. Oops.
- Daniel would sing lullabies for the rest of the cast.
- If you think that Strictly uses silly, unprofessional gimmicks to jazz up its dances, one of the dancers at Night Of 100 Stars was actually dressed as The Mask.
- Lisa Maxwell doesn’t understand how you can overdone on a dance show.
- Doing a rumba with Ian Waite was one of the worst experiences of Jodie Kidd’s life.
- Jodie Kidd thinks Jamelia is going home this weekend, John Partridge thinks Kirsty, and Lisa Maxwell thinks Carol.
- DangerMouse and Penfold have been doing The Strictly. They’re the only ones.

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