Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Kirsty Swansong

Top 11 results show: 1st November 2015

Last night! The front runners were mostly a little bit underwhelming, with Georgia and Giovanni coming out on top after a not-very-Ghostbusters, not-very-tango routine that still had more to it than pretty much anything else, whilst Carol and Pasha’s Frankenstein party rumba was about as well-received as you might expect for a dance with that description.

We open with a pro themed routine based around chess, in which Pasha and Ola are a king and queen, both wearing red (this is a bit confusing as neither of the teams of chess pieces are red). It’s unclear exactly which genre this is, as it seems to fuse a few, but it has probably more tango in it than anything else, so let’s call it that. Most of the pros are actually somewhat unrecognisable in wigs and colourful black/white make-up, which is kind of interesting, because you’re playing spot the pro as much as watching what they do. What they do is pretty good, though. It’s a dance full of dynamic movements and it has a nicely spooky feel, somewhat more so than anything we saw last night. However, I’m not sure they’re playing by any rules of chess I’ve ever read: the pieces aren’t even taking each other out, until the black team concede at Ola and Pasha’s will and fall on the floor at the end. White power! Oh, sorry, hang on…

We then see Tess and Claudia also playing a game of chess in which Claudia is white and Tess is black (hey, they don’t want to be stereotyped) and Tess wins (see!). Daly dress watch: the tightfitting black thing with a few too many straps, but otherwise okay. What Winkleman is wearing: a nice black and grey striped dress that looks better than it sounds in description. Overall, I think wardrobe are doing a relatively good job with these two this year. The judges saunter on in regular formal garb, having completely dropped any pretence at doing the thing we shall not name.

Recap of last night, which Natalie (dressed as a witch) is hosting tonight.  Of note: Hot Greg wearing a horse mask, which: NO; Kellie only knowing one spell from Harry Potter, but Kevin knowing more than one. Nobody is surprised by that, I’m sure.

Time for our first set of results. Safe are: Jeremy and Karen; Georgia and Giovanni; Anita and Gleb; Helen and AljaĆŸ.  The first couple in the dance off are Jamelia and Tristan and she looks slightly disbelieving that they are in this position yet again, as it dawns on her just how much the public don’t like her for her this to have happened for the third time, and I feel sorry for her.  Maybe she’ll get a sympathy bounce next week, but given no-one else left has been in a dance-off, maybe not enough of one.  When Tess interviews her she says that she’s come to the conclusion that the public don’t like her, but she will try and show the judges that she cares. Tess reminds them that they were in the tricky middle position on the leaderboard, although I think we all know that this probably hasn’t made that much difference in their case, given that not only is Jamelia someone I don’t think is that popular on the outside (I like her fine, her dancing aside), but Tristan doesn’t seem to have as large a fan base as many of the other pros, so it was always going to be tricky for them to pick up votes unless they were great. [Tristan has a scarily devoted fan base, but from what I've seen most of his fans seem to hate Jamelia. - Steve]

Claudia is with our saved couples and tells Jeremy he’s made it halfway through. And so have we all! Bravo to all of us! He says his delighted and thought the Halloween was a big moment for him and he and Karen burst into giggles. Georgia says it was the best night of her life even though they had a hard week she’s pleased that they got there. Claudia says she wants Anita to keep the horns for the rest of her dances and Anita says they’re probably attached to her head for life and she’s not sure they can move any more. With all those staples and stitches we heard about on ITT this week, I am not surprised! Claudia says Helen’s face is really serious when she is waiting to hear who’s safe and Helen says how it’s strange that you’re all there for each other and giving each other pep talks and then you look at each other and see the costumes and wonder what you’re all dressed as.

Our guest performer of the evening is James Morrison, with his hair shorn, whilst Kristina and Gleb do some nice contemporary dance wafting in front of him. As much as I like seeing my dancers barefoot and emotional, I couldn’t stand this song the first time I watched it so I’m not going to watch it again. His voice sounds shot to shit and he looks like the kind of person who would go on the overs category on X Factor, whine about how much he really needs it and how destroyed his life would be without it, only to flame out at boot camp. (Sidebar: you guys voted out two of the three acts I vaguely liked in X Factor in week one? Screw you, British public. I hope that really dull white bloke with brown hair in Simon’s category wins for yet another victory of the same identikit type of dud male singer.  Or failing that, that boring brown haired white one with the glasses in the boys’ category.  Unless Fourth Power win, I like Fourth Power or whatever they’re called this week.  Or the reggae boys who’ve come straight from 1993, that would be fun too).

Len’s lens this week begins by focusing on Peter and Janette. We see Peter’s hands and learn points out how they are placed incorrectly with awkward gapping at the elbow and his hands too high on Janette’s shoulder.  Len demonstrates a more correct hold, which is an actual informative comment from Len, stop the press. Georgia and Giovanni next, and Darcy demonstrates how their bodies are working together in unison. We then move to Kirsty and Brendan and Craig demonstrating how Kirsty wasn’t really crossing her feet over one another, but just putting them up and down on the floor, then he demonstrates how the footwork should be. Again, a nice informative comment. My God, what if this section actually starts to be useful? Still, he has Bruno to set the world right and he shows that there are points in Jeremy and Karen stands where they were moving together and although the salsa part of it wasn’t perfect, praised Jeremy for getting something right and being a lot of fun. Then we have our comedy judging moment, which features some terrible dances from them all at the end of the show, with Bruno in particular getting a wriggle on.

Back to Tess for the final round of safety announcements, and safe are: Jay and Aliona; Katie and Anton (who is even more delighted than Katie); Peter and Janette. This means the first woman of the competition is definitely going home, but will Jamelia be dancing off against Carol, Kellie, or someone who’s also been in a previous dance off? Well, safe are: Kellie and Kevin and Carol and Pasha, meaning a particularly unsurprising result as to couples who have previously been in the bottom two and performed badly on the night are facing one another in the dance off. I think Kirsty was expecting this, given her ‘I’m going to be sick’ face through both sets of results.

Kirsty says she was kind of expecting it and she wants to have a chance to do it right and Craig says this is a chance for her to show the world what she’s made of and that she needs to be strong and do it the best she can. Len says make sure they rectify the mistake they had with the lift and with some of their swivel and then they need to just come out and give it all. Kirsty says she’ll try her best to take the advice on and see what happens.

With the remaining saved couples now, and Kellie is really excited about doing the waltz because she really loved doing the foxtrot. Carol says she has the American Smooth next week. Claudia asks if she’s excited and Carol says yes, but she doesn’t know what it is. That’s even more hilarious given that what turned out to be their foxtrot was originally meant to be an American smooth, if I recall. God knows what we’re going to get next week in that case. Peter is very thankful that the criticism he got from the judges was constructive, and Katie can’t believe that the public are still voting for her and Anton and she had a great time learning the dance and is glad people at home enjoyed it. Jay doesn’t get to say anything.

A plug for It Takes Two now, in which the junior judges return (hooray!) And so does Robin (you can’t win them all).

Pre-dance off interviews now and Kirsty says she can’t believe she made the error and really wants to stay. We then see that Brendan has a neck tattoo saying I love Whitby on. This is quite funny, but the joke was kind of loss before now. Brendan says he wants Kirsty to do herself proud and leave feeling proud and the same for Jamelia and Tristan and then he tells Kirsty how amazing she is and they go and get ready to dance. Tess asks is having been in the dance off before helps with Jamelia’s nerves and she says not really, but now she sees it as another opportunity to get things right. Tristan says he can’t wait and tells her to enjoy herself.


Kirsty and Brendan’s dance is hampered by the same laboured beginning, but once it gets underway, it is a little bit improved, in that the transitions are not quite as clunky as they were, and they are both a little bit more in time with the music and each other than first time round. Her feet do occasionally manage a bit more swivel as well. Overall, though, it’s still quite a clunky piece beset with issues, with a lot of pauses where Kirsty waits for Brendan to execute a lift or similar.

As for Jamelia and Tristan’s jive, I still don’t really like the routine, but there is more energy in here, and I quite enjoy Jamelia’s couldn’t give a shit face as compared to Kirsty’s desperation face. They do seem to be more in time with one another this time round although it’s still quite chaotic as a routine. On performance, I would probably save these two over Kirsty and Brendan, but given that Jamelia is in the dance off for the third time, I wouldn’t be surprised if the judges chose to put her out of her misery-and, to be honest, I don’t think either couple are likely to be here for very long - in fact, I’m surprised both of them have made it this far.

Craig says both couples raised the game enormously in the dance off which was wonderful to see, but he’s going to save Jamelia and Tristan; Darcey repeats what Craig said and also saves Jamelia and Tristan; Bruno says both improved but he has to save Jamelia and Tristan. Jamelia shakes her head, slightly disbelieving that she’s still here, and gives Kirsty a big hug. Len says he would have agreed with the other judges and saved them as well. Kirsty says she is sad to leave but she’s had a wonderful experience and she thinks Jamelia deserves it more than her. She thanks Brendan for being incredible and really supportive and Brendan says he was really excited to be partnered with her and he seen someone with no dance performance experience turn herself round and really learn some new skills and he says he’s really proud of her. She says she exceeded her own expectations and she didn’t expect to win, so is really glad to have got to week six. The audience get on their feet to applaud them and they dance out to ‘Ghost Town’, whilst everybody else floods the dance floor and chats/hooks each other. Of interest: quite a long and friendly exchange between Jamelia and Anton. Who would have pegged those two as buddies?

Next week: the top ten, which Steve will be here to see you through. Join him then!

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