Friday 13 November 2015

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Pasha always has the tissues ready.
- Carol and Pasha’s shared favourite song is ‘Mr Boombastic’.
- Carol is one of the most 'beautiful, gorgeous, positive beings' Zoe has ever met.  D'awww.
- Helen thinks Aljaž would make a great teacher at a school full of naughty kids.
- If series 13 were a school, Jeremy and Kellie would be the head boy and girl.
- Karen Hardy is back from her travels. We never expected we’d say this, but we miss Joanne.
- Karen Hardy managed to find sparkly chopsticks while she was away.
- Anton and Brendan told Jeremy that his tango was indeed a tango. He seemed impressed with this faint praise.
- Jeremy thinks the most he can expect from Craig is a 5, and he’s probably up to a 4.3 by now.
- Matthew Bourne is a fan of Jeremy.
- Jeremy has “accidentally” promised to recreate the ‘Mysterious Girl’ video if he gets to the final.
- Janette’s wig for the charleston was the same wig that Anita wore when she was being Flavia for her American smooth in Movie Week.
- Peter Andre basically thinks his journey is done now, so you don't need to waste your votes on him any more.
- He also think Len standing up was the most important moment of his Strictly time, so he clearly has low standards.
- Peter has learned that 'things are achievable' during his time on the show.  What a lesson.
- Peter’s Viennese waltz this weekend will be dedicated to his children. I’m amazed it took eight weeks tbh.
- Karen Hardy thinks the important thing about dances is their lasting memory.  By these standards, Matt Di Angelo, Christopher Parker and Anne Widdecombe have produced legendary dances.  I am not sure I buy into Karen Hardy's standards.
- There are seven different rumba walks.
- Karen Hardy thinks the ITT audience entirely consists of mums cooking in their kitchens. #everydaysexism
- This week’s pro dance is a love story and it’s quite beautiful when they all come together at the end. (Phrasing.)
- Kellie had a moment of disorientation when her name was called in the results show and couldn’t quite work out if she was safe or not. It was the red light that eventually clued her in.
- Kevin mentions Kellie’s right shoulder in training upwards of 20 times a session.
- Zoe really has trouble saying ‘Boom! Shake The Room’.
- Kellie has been dying to do the samba, the weirdo.
- Kellie is going to 'literally' dance in her sleep.  Presumably this is like extreme sleepwalking?
- The pros learn all of their group routines at once, but there’s a private website they can all look at (STEADY) in between if they want to gen up.
- Karen, Kevin, Janette and Aljaž call themselves “the Dream Team”.
- Kevin's favourite song to dance to is the Muppet Show theme tune. That doesn't mean the show needs to take that as approval to do a DWTS and institute theme tune week.
- Helen didn't bother putting much hip action into the rumba.
- Aljaž doesn’t think his acting is that great.
- Ian Waite was quite an angry-looking baby.
- Ian doesn't think Peter's Viennesse waltz is going to get 10s because of the outrageous gapping.
- In fact, he's a right Debbie Downer on everyone this week.
- Ian thinks Kevin looks like Gleb when he puts a hat on.
- Zoe thinks 'Banana-ing Gleb' sounds like a fun game.
- Jay can't do head snaps very well.
- The fact that the show is reminding us that other versions of this show exist globally is making me have tremors about the thought of Around the World week returning.  The only thing worse would be a resurrection of Fusion week.
- Indian Strictly has involved dances on high walls that look a) terrifying and b) a bit too much like Hole in the Wall (ie also terrifying).
- Jay is struggling with not looking at Aliona in the foxtrot.
- Aliona thinks that she and Jay are “pretty much the most inconsistent couple ever”.
- Katie and Anton were rehearsing in the room next door to Jay and Aliona this week, and Anton suggested some choreography for their foxtrot. Such a gent.
- Bonnie Langford’s cat in EastEnders is called Craig Revel-Horwood.
- Zoe is not a naturally gifted speaker of Italian.
- Giovanni is willing to take his top off to get a 10 from Craig.
- Georgia will not be getting a tattoo to match Giovanni’s.
- Georgia gave up ballet as a child and took up karate, but she was so bad she didn’t even get a white belt.
- Tristan and Pasha interviewed each other and it was hella homoerotic.
- Pasha used to play chess and swim and do martial arts, but he gave them all up for dancing.
- Bitch, Tristan worked in a bank.
- Pasha and Tristan would take each other to a deserted island. (See? HOMOEROTIC.)
- Anita felt like Wonder Woman, or possibly Supergirl, in her jive outfit.
- Gleb and Anita have a competition every morning where they look at each other’s abs. Actually, it’s mostly Anita looking at Gleb’s.
- Anita and Gleb are doing a Tinder-themed quickstep. That’s got to be a first, surely?
- The viewers of It Takes Two have voted Harry Judd their favourite male winner.
- Jamelia doesn’t know who Dave Arch is.
- Jamelia forgot half of her Viennese waltz so she and Tristan just blagged the end of the routine.
- Tristan actually wanted to be in the dance-off last week just so they could do it again without messing up. Dare to dream, Tristan.
- If you watch the video to Jamelia’s ‘Money’ closely, you’ll see she was dancing out of time there as well.
- Jamelia has realised that all of her previous choreography experience was “just the top half”.
- Ali the PA hates it when Jay wears socks with shorts. She’s right to feel that way.
- Harry Judd remains hot like fire.
- If Richard Osman did Strictly, he’d want Natalie for a partner because she always gets the tall men. (He’d also be happy with Anton.)
- Harry Judd is fine with Anita and Gleb using his quickstep music.
- Sophie Raworth had a bet on Carol making Blackpool. She lost, obviously.
- BBC newsreaders doing The Rocky Horror Show with Jeremy Vine as Frank N Further is still a thing that happened, despite our best efforts to repress all memory of it.
- Zoe thinks everyone should have a go with Anton.
- As well as helping Jay and Aliona, Anton has also helped Anita and Gleb with their quickstep this week. No wonder he doesn’t have enough time to teach Katie.
- Joanne is planning to steal Janette’s Viennese waltz dress to get married in.
- Richard Osman thinks Helen will be bottom two this week.
- Harry Judd thinks either Jay or Georgia will win, Sophie Raworth is hoping for Katie, Richard Osman is rooting for Jamelia.
- Il Divo still exist. :(

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