Saturday 19 November 2016

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Daisy spent her first day off from training on a long walk with her dog, and then going for a pub lunch with her mate.
- Daisy and Aljaž always had porridge for breakfast and a jacket potato for lunch.
- Apart from their week one waltz, the salsa was the first time Aljaž felt like Daisy was giving her all.  Oof.
- As a feminist, Daisy would like Louise or Claudia to win.
- If Karen Hardy was scoring Ed, she would've given him 10 for 'Gangnam Style' and 1 for the salsa.
- Karen Hardy would like to remind the public that after BLACKPOOL we are supposed to stop focusing on 'entertainment' and focusing on technique.
- Karen Hardy doing lunges in a short, tight leather dress shouting EXPLODE is maybe not what we were looking for over our tea.
- The men are big fans of the tan.  I bet it's this show's version of a dick measuring contest.
- Daisy has been friends with Nick Grimshaw for 10 years, but please don't hold that against her.
- Louise's mum is a Strictly superfan.
- Len goes round shaking people's hands as they line up before him before a live show as if he's the Queen or something.  [I AM NOT A QUEEN LIKE WHAT THEM OTHER THREE JUDGES ARE - I'M A MANLY KINGLY MAN KING - Len]
- Tony Robinson tweeted a lot during Saturday's show.
- On Saturday, Greg got all the bits of the routine right that he'd been struggling with during the week, and then went wrong on a bit he'd always got right.
- Natalie thinks Greg is a better performer than anyone else she's danced with.
- Zoe thinks 31 is both a low score (Daisy) and a great score (Greg).
- Greg put literally everything he had into the dance-off.  It took the cleaners a while to sweep up the used bus tickets, 5p pieces and that weird perspex track trophy thing off the floor afterwards.
- Harry Judd thought Greg was undermarked on Saturday.
- Greg is turning 30 on Thursday. He's got big plans: training, then getting on a train to Blackpool.
- Claudia was thinking about her nephew during the Viennese waltz.
- BLACKPOOL Pleasure Beach is closed at this time of year so Claudia won't be able to go on the Big Dipper after all. Hopefully she can still have chips though.
- AJ thinks the difference between dancing with Chloe and Claudia is that it's serious with Chloe.
- AJ has changed a lot since he was a kid, remarkably.  Chloe has not.
- AJ and Claudia communicate primarily in sound effects.
- Claudia will be a head cheerleader in their dance on Saturday as this show continues its mission to pretend they're in a US High School (which they can't be, as TV and film have taught us all high school students in the US are at least 35).
- Neil and Joanne tell the worst jokes, while Aljaž and Janette are the most generous pros.
- Karen Hardy thinks dancing with apples under the arms is the key to a paso (?!).
- Karen Hardy thinks Ore's hips in his rumba were the best male hips she's ever seen. Ever.
- The key to getting figure 8 in your rumba hips is to imagine you're stamping cockroaches.  Sexy!
- Zoe is concerned for the welfare of Michael Bolton.
- Claudia was born the same week that 'Spice Up Your Life' was number one.
- The big group routine for BLACKPOOL is set in the 1930s.
- Louise and Claudia are sticking together now they're the last two girls standing.
- Katya would do anything for Ed (but she won't do that).
- Ed's 'voice of the viewer' brother couldn't even bear to look at him dancing for the first few weeks.
- Ed draws the line at being fired out of a cannon.
- It's a year since Neil and Katya won in the championships at Blackpool and they had to give up their title to do Strictly.
- Ed thinks BLACKPOOL is their Wembley.  Sssssh, let us never mention that word on this show ever again.
- Oti's shins are covered in bruises from Danny kicking her in their Argentine tango.
- Danny and Oti got so into their Argentine tango characters that they didn't even argue last week.
- The cast of 2016 group chat is still going on, and even the people who've been eliminated are still in it.
- Danny and Oti haven't developed their Charleston faces yet.
- Danny thought the Charleston would be easy, like the quickstep, but it isn't.  After Ore, I almost believe it.
- Danny's first job was as a waiter in Bognor Regis.
- Grease just does it for Ian.
- As do Kevin's tight paso pants from previous series.
- Ed has spent the last few months thinking "kick ball change" was "kick ball and chain", which possibly explains a lot.
- Joanne stopped herself from laughing during the rumba by looking at Ore's nose rather than into his eyes.
- Ore's mum was quite critical of his salsa.
- Ore struggles with counting, so Joanne has been teaching him rhythm using words and sounds.
- The celebrities think Blackpool is going to be like a school trip.  The rumours about the shenanigans previous years' groups have taken part in suggest that's an apt simile.
- Papa Clifton's top tip for nausea in the Viennese waltz is "project to the first balcony". Whether he means "look up there to avoid being sick" or "aim high with your projectile vomiting" is unclear.
- Vicky Gill and her team have made or bought 119 outfits for this weekend.
- Oti has a very tiny waist.
- Judge Rinder and Oksana play pat-a-cake backstage to help him control his nerves.
- Benedict Cumberbatch helped Judge Rinder contol his face for his paso.
- If Judge Rinder could be a Spice Girl, he'd be Sporty Spice "with a dash of Scary".
- Judge Rinder tells the producers to stop asking them 'stupid' questions about how nervous they are before each show.
- Ore and Greg both had a birthday on Thursday.  Seriously, is there anyone in the cast who hasn't had a birthday this series?!
- You shouldn't close your feet on a natural turn.
- Ian doesn't like 'Great Balls Of Fire' because it's the song that Jodie Kidd got eliminated on.
- Ian doesn't know the terms for some of the armography in the charleston.
- Ian thinks Danny will get Craig's first 10 this Saturday.
- The band were egging Louise on at the start of her American smooth.
- Louise was meant to snarl when she turned around at the start of her American smooth, but she grinned instead. Oh, Louise.
- Louise took her feather fans home with her when she was rehearsing last week, but she claims that's only because Kevin didn't want to take them on the train.
- Paso is Kevin's favourite dance.  I kind of want to see a Kevin vs AJ unlikely paso boys pro dance, now.
- Louise got her golden ticket to BLACKPOOL when it fell out of her Strictly annual ZOMG RIGGED FOR TEH CLIFTONS!!!1!!
- Tony Robinson is growing a Movember tache and it looks quite scary TBH.
- Zoe thinks Michael Fassbender should play Russell Watson in a biopic.  I think he's more Chris Pratt TBH.
- Tony Robinson used to be an 'other side' guy, but he's been converted to Strictly recently.
- Sara Cox think Danny is a dance bot and Joe Pasquale thinks he has looked like a professional dancer from the very beginning. *theatrical cough*
- Joe Pasquale thinks Ed Balls is half-man, half-duck and that Greg looked like Big Bird.  His ornothological comparisons for the rest are unknown.
- Russell Watson and his wife like Louise and Judge Rinder.
- Tony Robinson thinks Louise is like Philip Schofield.
- The Friday panel would like 'Bum in, stay in' to be a catchphrase.  BAN THIS SICK BBC FILTH ETC.
-It's so cold at BLACKPOOL that Danny and Ore are wearing coats indoors.
- Joanne didn't get Ore a birthday present, but she did get him a card with an egg on it.
- The blessed Jive of St Jill was the first ever 40 and started a tradition of BLACKPOOL being the place to break the 40 duck.
- Anton doesn't do his research because he (and whoever writes his scripts) thinks Harry Judd got 37 for an Argentine tango in week two in series nine.
- Brendan's BLACKPOOL highlight was his quickstep with Sophie and Anton's was his American Smooth with Katie.
- Craig's BLACKPOOL highlight was his exploding guitar entrance.
- Craig is usually the last judge standing on the dancefloor at the BLACKPOOL afterparty but last year it was Darcey.
- Craig had to restrain himself because there was some terrible dancing in the CiN special.
- Craig wants to be transported to another planet to give a 10... which goes some way to explaining why Bruno gives them out so liberally.
- Craig thinks Greg would need surgery on his legs and bottom to stand any chance of making the final.
- Craig has agreed to do Ed and Katya's lift in the bar after BLACKPOOL. Which role he will be playing is as yet unclear.
- There will be prop dancers this weekend.
- The show's official stance on last year's BLACKPOOL result is that Peter Andre was "luckily" saved in the dance-off. #justice4jamelia
- Kevin's lowest score at BLACKPOOL in all his time on the show is 37.
- Ed's impression of Katya is terrible.
- The costume room at BLACKPOOL is tiny.
- Greg doesn't think he can pull off a pink suit.
- Natalie bought Greg aftershave, M&Ms, a skiing voucher and some other things for his birthday.  I would like to be Natalie's friend even more than I already did now.
- Joe Pasquale thinks the only way Ore is going out of the competition is in a dance-off against Danny.
- Gravy is good for lubricating the vocal cords (according to Sara Cox and Russell Watson).
- Joe Pasquale thinks Judge Rinder looks like he's trying to keep a Trump in.  Bit political.
- Joe Pasquale, Judge Rinder and Tony Robinson think Judge Rinder is going home this week and Sara Cox thinks Greg.  Joe and Tony want Ed to win; Sara and Russell want Louise.
- Janette thinks Judge Rinder is the most improved celebrity.
- Karen's ideal partner is David Beckham. Janette would also like to be partnered with him. As would Aljaž, Gorka and Gethin.
- Aljaž's favourite routine of the series was 'Gangnam Style'. You can go off a person.
- If Gorka could dance with a judge, he'd pick Darcey.
- Karen and Janette are trying to get in on Gethin's homerotic backstage adventures but they can't pry  him and Gorka away from one another.
- Gorkin OTP 4eva:


2 comments:

F a t i m a said...

What was your take on Rinder's grumpy answers to Gethin's questions on Friday? It's not the first time we've seen awkwardness between those two.

F a t i m a said...

That photo of Gorka in a headlock has proved to be sadly prophetic