Friday 2 December 2016

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Ed's middle name is Michael.
- Ed threatened to do 'that lift' again in their goodbye dance, but Katya wasn't having any of it.
- Katya didn't really know who Ed Balls was before she was partnered with him.
- Ed isn't sure what his next move is going to be, but thinks that doing a tango as a Zoolander-esque male model has probably ruled out a return to politics.
- Judging by Ed's look of wild panic when Zoe asked him for a snap of Gangnam Style before he went, he's not much of an improviser.
- Joanne had a chicken dinner right before attempting the pro challenge. Winner winner, etc.
- Joanne has always been the favourite Clifton child.
- Joanne managed 59 kicks and flicks but had seven disqualified, so with a total of 52 she's now tied for the lead with Aljaž.
- Matthew Cutler runs a dance school in Croydon now.
- Zoe thinks Matthew Cutler hasn't aged.  Gawd bless him, but the lines round his eyes say otherwise.
- Erin thinks her son could be a future star of Strictly. As one of the celebrities. Attagirl.
- Erin thinks the show is more about entertainment than PURITY OF DAHNCE these days.
- Matthew's favourite partner on the show was Christine Bleakley - as much fun as he had with Alesha, he felt under a lot of pressure to deliver with her, whereas with Christine he knew he probably wasn't going to win so he could relax and enjoy the experience a bit more.
- Looking at pictures of all Erin's partners on one screen really emphasises how little luck she had with the draw most series.
- Colin Jackson is still "snake-hipped and gorgeous to the touch", according to Erin.
- Karen Hardy is still referring to this as "the early stage of dance". The final is in under a month, Karen.
- Karen Hardy doesn't think Claudia deserves a 10 yet.  Us neither.
- But then she does think Judge Rinder has improved week-on-week, which...
- The show has decided that, not content with desecrating the memory of TIME WARP last series, it's now going to stamp all over Mark and Iveta's lovely Lion King samba. Booo!
- Zoe isn't used to being tied up, but might be developing a taste for it.
- Movies week and musicals week are pretty much interchangeable, it seems.
- The random tango song generator has landed on 'One Night Only' this week.
- Ore and Joanne are going to be forced to relive sweet-shop horror in this week's show.
- Oksana is a bird enthusiast and has a parrot called Mojito.
- Oksana is currently winning the pro challenge with a score of 54 kicks and flicks with zero disqualifications. This is good because Judge Rinder told her he'd lose all respect for her if she didn't win.
- Melvin and Janette really like it when the contestants kiss the judges.
- Janette makes a more convincing radio DJ than Melvin going on the evidence from this show.
- Judge Rinder has gone one step further and is now referring to all of the professional dancers as "teachers".
- Judge Rinder thinks he can't go round being Judge Rinder and then get upset when other people make terse comments.
- Greg still loves Judge Rinder. <3
- Judge Rinder has a habit of doing "live long and prosper" hands so Oksana has taken to taping his fingers up.
- Ian and Danny have both taken to wearing shades of purple.
- Ian saw The Lion King recently. Whether he saw it in the West End or just stuck a DVD on is as yet unconfirmed.
- Ian used to get told that he looked like Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka.
- Zoe's not keen on Ian's dance acronyms.
- Chloe once wanted to be a maths teacher, but it turned out she wasn't very good at maths.
- Chloe did 52 kicks and flicks but had 9 disqualified, so she's currently bottom of the leaderboard with 43.
- The ballroom tango is actually a spin-off from the Argentine Tango rather than the other way around.
- Only two people have scored full marks for a tango on Strictly - Kimberley Walsh in series 10 and Kellie Bright in series 13.
- Jamie Redknapp has vowed never to dance in public again after last week's VT.
- Kevin used football terminology with Jamie because he was struggling to count 123.  Bless.
- Kevin swears that Louise's shoulders were *meant* to come up in her waltz and he designed it that way deliberately, so now he feels bad that his choreographic misjudgement possibly cost Louise a perfect score.
- Louise doesn't really mind being second place to Danny because he's great.
- Louise didn't really believe anything Kevin told her about the cha cha challenge.
- Louise found it hilarious that they won the cha cha challenge.
- Louise isn't much of a thigh-slapper.  Poor Jamie etc.
- It makes Louise feel sick whenever people tell her that Kevin's never technically been eliminated from any series he's competed in.
- Vicky Gill's favourite costume from last week was Oti's.
- Two-dance week officially happens next week, meaning Steve has to recap that and Rad is very grateful for that mid-season swap we had on the recapping rota.
- Vicky Gill has invented the term 'sunray godet' although I'm not sure what one is.
- Zoe was hoping Joanne would be playing Violet Beauregarde, all blueberried up, on Saturday.
- Pasha never does it for speed, he always does it for quality.
- Pasha did 61 kicks and flicks, but had 10 of them disqualified, so his total score of 51 leaves him fourth overall in the pro challenge.
- Oti is still a pro on the German version of Strictly as well as doing the British one, because that one airs in the spring so she has time to do both.
- The male host of German Strictly is fairly attractive.
- German Strictly (or Let's Dance, as they call it) seems very Dancing With The Stars in that it features duels and improvised dances and all of that shit.
- One of the highlights of German Strictly is the Discofox Marathon. Oh, Germany.
- Let's Dance also uses a lot of strobe lighting.
- Oti's sister Motsi is a judge on Let's Dance and I think Oti is angling for Motsi to take over from Len.
- One of the komedy kontestants in Germany sat down and had a hot dog mid-routine while his pro danced with her professional partner, and he still got through.
- Oti cries every time she watches Danny's samba back.
- Oti was glad that Danny was able to give her '100% of his passion, and his hips'.  Oo-err.
- Even though the show has stopped that thing where it racks up all the training time of the couples, Danny is definitely keeping count.  Possibly to raise a Human Rights violation, going on them pulling 13 hour days.
- Danny only opened his shirt in the samba because it was artistically justified and non-gratuitous. Sure, Jan.
- Oti's not sure about this business of soundtracking a tango with disco music.
- Sometimes Danny burps if he's had a big lunch.
- Oti actually knows what Danny's character in Hollyoaks was called.
- Zoe likes Gethin with a bit of five o'clock shadow.
- It was Joanne's idea for Ore to wear eyeliner in his paso.
- Ore still doesn't call his mum as often as he should and likes to use ITT as FaceTime instead.
- Grimsby can still manage to raise a (solitary) whoop from the studio audience. #hometownpride
- The Clifton Elders ring Jo every Sunday and tell her all the things she needs to watch out for in her next dance.
- Ore and Zoe both get teary at 'Pure Imagination' and at Gene Wilder having died.
- Both Joanne and Kevin are being cautious about if/when they'll get a 10 from Craig.
- The group dance for this week will be based on West Side Story, with Aljaž and Janette as Tony and Maria, and Karen as Anita.
- Danny can't decide which Dreamgirl he should be.
- Louise is nervously waiting for the inevitable week when she'll have a dance that goes wrong.  Don't worry Louise, they still gave Claudia 36 when she had that happen.
- Danny fake tans 'as far as they will let me'.
- Breakdancing originated among inner city kids in the Bronx, so Chloe was the obvious choice to go and learn how to do it.
- Chloe's breakdancing name is Chlo-Lo.
- Breakdancing looks very odd in super slow motion.
- The set and props people loved the waltzer cars from Halloween, and so did the celebs and pros.  And us!
- Claudia's Argentine tango was Caroline Flack's favourite dance of the series.
- Claudia's started with the old 'wonderful teacher' rhetoric.  Stop it, all of you!
- The Lion King musical is one week older than Claudia is.
- Drew from series one of So You Think You Can Dance is directing and choreographing the UK premiere of the Strictly Ballroom musical.
- The costumes for the Strictly Ballroom music involve some of the biggest sequins ever.
- Gethin calls Gorka "Gorks".
- The Christmas special is Christmas movie-themed.
- Karen Clifton is not afraid to talk with her mouth full on television.
- Pasha is the class swot in rehearsals who tells everyone else off for misbehaving.
- Brendan is the naughtiest pro in rehearsals.
- Friday panellist Sheree Murphy went to school with Louise.
- Jenny Eclair and Sheree Murphy think Judge Rinder is going home this weekend, Alexander Armstrong thinks "everybody is brilliant" and it might just come down to whoever makes an unexpected cockup on the night.
- Jenny Eclair, Alexander Armstrong and Sheree Murphy all want Louise to win.

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