Saturday, 17 December 2016

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- On a scale of one to gutted, Claudia is really gutted to have missed out on the semi-final.
- AJ thinks that Claudia's quickstep could've won any competition.
- Claudia is relieved to have finally had the chance to do something in her life other than gymnastics, and to get to be happy.  I kind of want to rescue her now.
- Claudia's family are quite cute, but it's a bit late to be wheeling out kids and nans, now, isn't it?
- Everyone is trolling Giovanni by pretending that Kevin won the pro challenge.
- The thing Len will miss most is the expectation each Saturday.
- If Len had been in charge at the BBC, he would've scheduled series one "Wednesday after Newsnight" to see how they got on. This is why Len is not in charge at the BBC.
- Len thinks pruning the pros every now and then keeps the show healthy.  Wonder who he's burning with that?  I imagine it's more than a couple of them...
- Len used to dye his hair when he was first on the show before realising it wasn't working for him.
- In the first series, Bruno sat on the left, with Arlene next to him, then Len, then Craig on the right. Imagine that!
- Len doesn't mind who replaces him but wants it to be someone from the world of ballroom and latin.
- Olly Murs wears weird trousers with go-faster stripes down the side.
- The jump in the American smooth was Danny's idea, and Oti didn't originally want to do it because she doesn't know him that well.
- Zoe thinks Danny is one of the only people who can pull off dancing in a jumper.
- Moreover, Oti damaged her contact lenses so she couldn't really see very well and just had to aim for the blue blob in the distance.
- Danny is quite resolute about having been in the dance-off, as he wouldn't have had the full Strictly experience without it.
- Danny and Oti will be reprising their samba in the final.
- Danny and Oti's showdance music will be 'Set Fire To The Rain' by Adele, Ore and Joanne's is 'I Got Rhythm' from An American in Paris, and Louise and Kevin's is Whitney Houston's 'One Moment In Time'.
- Karen Hardy loves nothing more than the smell of napalm in the morning pros desperate for the trophy.
- Karen Hardy thinks an Argentine Tango is an essential component of the semi-final.
- Tom Chambers is still a smug tap-dancing prick with a face you'd never tire of punching.
- Darren Gough keeps his Strictly trophy in his office, Jill Halfpenny keeps hers next to her record player, and Tom's dad looks after his.
- Darren thinks Danny is the best dancer but Louise has had the biggest journey.
- Jill thinks the secret to winning is dancing like you've already won.
- Tom Chambers thinks Ore is a man after his own heart.  Yeah, I'm sure you're all he's been thinking of.
- Jill Halfpenny quite diplomatically sidesteps questions about whether Jay and Ore's jives should be considered in the same breath as hers.
- When Zoe did her jive, Darren told her she looked like the ponies at Katie Price's wedding.
- Darren and Jill think Louise will win, Tom thinks it will be Ore.
- Louise is very relieved that her legacy will not be "the one who couldn't get Kevin to the final".
- Even Kevin seems mildly embarrassed by his endless glut of 'second place' ringers.
- Kevin was really pleased Jo ended up doing so well after having been sidelined last year.
- Kevin didn't realise he was on camera when he did the air-punch for Joanne at the weekend.
- Louise's showdance will be about her Strictly story, incorporating how she has grown in confidence since the beginning.  We look forward to her wearing a dress made entirely of fruit with an even bigger hat, in that case.
- Zoe doesn't remember the steps to her showdance any more.
- No 50-somethings have made the finals of Strictly, but one over-60 has (Dr Hamela).
- Being in your 30s is your best chance of getting to the final, but when you get there, being in your 20s makes you more likely to win.
- It's rare for finalists to be better at Latin than ballroom.  Natalie Gumede is the only finalist who was equally strong in both genres. (At least according to Jeremy Vine's stats)
- Tess and Claudia text each other commentary on It Takes Two.
- On Claudia's last year hosting It Takes Two, she had terrible morning sickness so the whole set constantly smelt of sick.
- Claudia makes excellent brownies and brings them to the studio with her.
- Tess most wants to dance the Argentine tango, and Claudia most wants to dance the paso doble so she can pull a 'pirate' face.
- The contestant Tess and Claudia would most like to have back on the show is Alesha. Hooray!
- Claudia would like Alaistair Campbell on the show and Tess David Cameron.  That's twice his name's been uttered.  Let's not have a third, because I hear bad (or at least, even worse) things happen then.
- The train on Louise's paso dress was 10 metres long.
- Louise's paso dress is currently being used by Dancing With The Stars in Lebanon.
- Some celebrities buy their outfits after wearing them.
- Zoe's favourite thing about her post-Strictly body was having no bingo wings.
- Louise will be wearing ballet shoes in her show dance.
- Jamie Redknapp is now a Strictly superfan, It Takes Two addict and voracious consumer of related media.
- Even Ore's friend Iain Stirling thinks he needs to stop crying a little bit.
- Iain Stirling and Natalie Anderson seem quite up for competing next year. Jamie Redknapp - still not so much - although he would have liked a go at the pro challenge.
- Nine previous winners have been the top scorers of their series - the exceptions were Darren Gough, Tom Chambers, Chris Hollins (by over 90 points compared to Ricky Whittle) and Louis Smith.
- Ore's parents never came to watch him for school sports days, plays etc and the trauma's stayed with him, which is why he cries so much.  Marginal between-the-lines-reading of his actual words may have occurred.
- Ore feels he had a lucky dance draw in the semi-final that really allowed him to be dramatic and grab attention.
- Ore was going wrong right up until the dress rehearsals in the semi-final.
- The Michael Ball/Alfie Boe duets album sounds fairly unlistenable.
- Danny and Oti start training at 9am and don't leave the studio until 10pm.
- Danny has three siblings, including a (presumably younger) brother who looks like a more camera-shy version of him.
- Gorka's floppy rehearsal hair is super-cute.
- Michael Ball is watching the final with Miranda.
- Michael Ball reckons he correctly called the correct top three early on.
- Michael Ball wants Danny to win (because he was in Michael's fan club when he was 12 years old), Chelsee Healey wants Ore to win (because Journey) (despite now being in Hollyoaks), and Alfie Boe wants Louise to win (because Kevin).
- Louise's kids are better at reading a script than AJ is.
- Louise's gay friends liked her Argentine Tango the best.  Colour me shocked.
- Ore hasn't cried much this week, but he's worried that means "it's going to come like a torrent" on Saturday.
- Melvin and Janette are still trying to make "Team J-Boom" happen.
- Poor Chloe has to dance with Anton during the Christmas special.
- Ian was secretly teaching Gethin how to be a man during series five.
- Gethin thinks that the dynamic really changed when Ed left.
- Ian was really impressed with Oksana and Gorka in the pro challenge.
- Gethin's favourite dance of the series was Claudia's salsa, and Ian's was 'Gangnang'.


A. Denial said...

So agree about Tom Chambers! SUCH a smug punchable face!

robjones75 said...

I never got the Tom Chambers hate. I realise this puts me in a minority of one in the entire country.

Rad said...

Well, somebody had to have voted for him...

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