Saturday, 10 December 2016

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- There's a Starbucks close to the studios, judging by how many of the cast were arriving wacving red cups.
- Giovanni claims to be a better singer than Anton.  Having heard Anton sing, it's not a high bar.
- Greg vs Neil is the sexual tension you never knew you needed.
- Oksana is officially broken.
Judge Rinder has had such a total Strictly journey that he now totally embraces all of the clich├ęs he was cynical about before he signed up.
- If the new series of Judge Rinder looks a little low-energy, it's because he was saving it all for dance training after work in the evenings.
- Before dancing, Judge Rinder thinks to himself "Robert, do try and not look like a moron".
- Judge Rinder taught Oksana to play the piano.
- Darcey expected this particular top four.
- Darcey pronounces Oti  'Oatay'.
- Darcey regrets not giving Danny a 10 for his quickstep.
- Now that Ed Balls has been on the show, Darcey thinks Boris Johnson should be on next. She's just making the case for her own P45 at this point, isn't she?
- Janette used to work in a bank, just like Angelea from America's Next Top Model. It is possible that the similarities end there, however.
- Janette managed 58 kicks and flicks in the pro challenge but had four disqualified, leaving her with a total of 54 and putting her in joint first place with Oksana.
- Zoe has no idea of what the term 'choreography's fiercest critic' means if she applies it to Karen Hardy. #justiceforchloe
- Some of the dancers had three separate costumes to wear for the musical megamix that opened last Saturday's show, so they had to do some very quick changes.
- Rumba is Jason Gilkison's favourite dance.
- Joanne and Ore are overthinking what went wrong for them on Saturday.
- Ore's mum is coming to watch the show on Saturday, and his 80-year-old dad has specially arranged a flight from Nigeria to come and see him too.
- Ore and Joanne have THE BEST musical choices for two-dance week.
- Joanne loves the quickstep and thinks you should feel the wind rushing past your face when you do it.
- Gorka has a compartment in his rucksack with a built-in fridge.
- Gorka had zero steps disqualified in the pro challenge, and with 53 kicks and flicks overall is in third place behind Oksana and Janette. Gorka is very sad that he missed out on being joint-first by one kickenflick. Those wishing to comfort him please form an orderly queue behind me (and Gethin).
- The Strictly singers don't really like having to sing songs that aren't in English, although they know enough Spanish to get by.
- Tommy the singer's most embarrassing moment on the show was coming in a bar too early during 'Build Me Up Buttercup'. (Further research indicates this was Thom and Iveta's foxtrot, if you want to check it out.)
- Oti hasn't watched hers and Danny's tango back yet because she's still scared he might go wrong.
- Similarly, Danny was worried throughout that he might have had another "foxtrot moment".
- Oti originally had more stuff planned for the extra pros to do in Danny's tango but it ended up getting changed on the day.
- Layers of 'crin' (crinoline) bring Vicky Gill joy.
- Vicky Gill has a magical product called "dirty down spray", or possibly "dirty-down spray"?
- The pro challenge leaderboard seems to be reinforcing the 'jive is hard for tall people' message.
- Oksana is "always sleeping", according to Neil.
- Katya thinks kicksnflicks are 'Neil's forte'.  FORESHADOWING.
- The pro challenge was not a friend to the Joneses: Katya did 67 kicks and flicks, but 50 were disqualified leaving her with a total of 17, while Neil (in a fetching gold headband) did 104 of...something and had all 104 disqualified, leaving him with a total of ZERO.
- Claudia's wig from Saturday was painful to remove.
- The infantalising of Claudia and AJ is still in full swing, in case you were worried.  (This week: 'Little Toy Cubs awww'.
- Claudia really likes 'Bleeding Love'.
- Zoe isn't quite sure what year it is.
- Gaby Roslin is the shyest person ever and does not want to dance.
- Gaby Roslin thinks it's between Danny and Louise for the win.
- It is now 4 years, 11 months and 23 days since Jason Donovan got eliminated from Strictly.
- Jason Donovan is still painfully earnest.
- Jason Donovan remembers crashing into a pillar in the same room that Danny has been training in this week.
- Gaby Roslin would like Ore to smile rather than cry after his dances because he has a lovely smile.
- Neil is no Gethin, sorry.
- Both of the hosts of Skal vi danse, the Norwegian version of Strictly, are former contestants - and their version of Claudia is a man. Shock!
- Kevin is always at it on Monday morning and doesn't take no for an answer. (Dancing!)
- Bruno is Louise and Kevin's favourite judge. (This week.)
- Louise and Kevin's quickstep was very popular with dogs.
- Kevin has just got a new rescue dog called Betty.
- Louise's dances this week are "tango and...what's the other one?" (It's a samba.) This bodes well.
- Louise is Kevin's highest scoring partner - for this stage in the competition, at least.
- Karen did 59 jive kicks and flicks and had five disqualified, leaving her in joint second place with Oksana and Janette. Kevin and Giovanni, the final two contestants, both managed 62 kicks and flicks, but Kevin had 10 disqualifications leaving him in joint-sixth place with 52, while Giovanni had seven disqualified, leaving him with a total of 56 and the new world record.
- Jason hated doing the rumba because it is HARD FOR THE MEN.
- Ellie Simmonds and Gaby Roslin think Ore might be leaving this week, Jason Donovan declined to comment. Ellie wants Danny to win, and Gaby and Jason both want Louise.
- Natalie thinks Darcey has been the pickiest judge this year, OH NATALIE.
- If they could bring back any celebrity to the competition, Katya would bring Melvin back and Natalie would have Judy Murray.
- Jason Donovan does not look comfortable singing the PWL classics these days.

No comments: