Nice to sea you, to sea you nice

Week 9: Top 8 Perform (Blackpool Week) - 18 November 2017

Now, not everybody watches Strictly Come Dancing with the same exacting eye for detail that Rad and I do, so it's possible you may have missed all of the subtle references so far to the fact that the show is coming to us live from the Tower Ballroom in Blackpool this week. If that is indeed the case, don't worry: tonight's programme eases us in gently with some lovely panoramas of the seafront and Susan breathlessly voice-overing that this is one of the most famous ballrooms in the world. If they're stuck for a segment on It Takes Two at any point, it'd be interesting to see how many other famous ballrooms the contestants could name. Not many, I'm guessing. Davood tells us that it's incredible, and Mollie says that she can feel the history in this room. Is it the history of Peter Andre's jive, serving as a warning to others about what happens when you can't be arsed to rehearse? The history of Ashley Taylor Dawson scoring 35 for the first time before getting permanently stuck on that score? The history of McFly storming the floor when Harry won and Bruce throwing the glitterball at them? Ahh, memories.

Where were we? Oh right, Blackpool first impressions: Debbie thinks it's beautiful, Jonnie thinks that dreams have been made (Jill Halfpenny) and shattered (Craig Kelly) here, Alexandra finds it a little bit terrifying, Gemma reckons her family will be so proud to see her dancing here (IN THE NORTH), and Joe thinks this is where he needs to prove that he deserves to be here. I mean, that's kind of true of every week, but okay sure. From there we segue into the obligatory BLACKPOOL MONTAGE of proud Blackpudlians welcoming us to their town, exhorting us to keep dancing, and throwing out more 10s than Bruno in a lapdancing club. It's nice to be back, isn't it?

Titles! Charlotte is officially the contestant who I'd forgotten was even on this series - how about you?

On the other side of the titles, we begin with some fake black-and-white footage of an Edwardian(?) couple played by Pasha and Dianne, set to J Cole's 'I'm Coming Home' which I'm pretty sure is not period-appropriate, as they frolic on the beach, eat chips out of a paper cone, sit on a merry-go-round and eventually make their way into the Blackpool Tower Ballroom. The slightly heavy make-up job they've done around Dianne's eyes, combined with the monochrome shading here, sort of implies that once they get in there she's going to strip him naked and bleed him out from the abdomen so that she can open a portal to summon the hellbeast Nyen'raghar from a parallel dimension, but thankfully once they gain entrance they just spin and spin until the colour bleeds in and we find ourselves back in the present day at the...Strictly circus? Complete with fire-dancers and a juggling unicyclist, and how nice of them to do a whole routine in tribute to Matt Baker's charleston. At this point the music transitions into an instrumental version of 'Applause' by Lady Gaga, and if you didn't start singing "APPLE SAUCE APPLE SAUCE APPLE SAUCE" at home then you're a better person than I. As detailed on It Takes Two during the week, the celebrities have been given their own roles to perform in this routine, although Joe's hyped "main role" is just that of the ringmaster who welcomes us to the show, rather than anything that involves some specific dancing. Then the music becomes 'Let Me Entertain You', and as for everyone else: Debbie gets a bit of role-reversal as the magician trapping Giovanni inside her magic box, Alexandra is a showgirl with giant feather-fans, Susan gets the obligatory "please sit in this cart and don't ruin our show with your feet" role, Davood is a vintage strongman, Mollie is a tightrope walker daintily falling into Brendan's arms (spoiler alert: yes this will be the most graceful thing Mollie does all night), Gemma is...a woman holding some pyrotechnics (I think they may have started to run out of circus archetypes at this point, and I'm guessing nobody wanted to be the bearded lady) [I thought it was Darcey at first and then got confused because I was sure there was a contestant missing,  and it took a good few moments to realise... which I guess also answers your question about forgotten members of the cast. Sorry Gemma! - Rad], and Jonnie is a sinister puppetmaster (/a man vaguely waving two cross-shaped bits of wood above some dancers). It's certainly a dramatic opening and one that fills the floor, but all Blackpool group routines must forever be measured against Ballroom Blitz and I'm afraid that one still has the edge, sorry.

Entering: Tess and Claudia. Tess is in canary yellow, Claudia in a moss-green carwash dress. In the audience: Graham Norton and Lenny Henry, but not together. Tess makes sure to thank Jason Gilkison by name for that opening number, and Claudia reminds us that Ruth left us last week after facing Jonnie in the dance-off. The judges do their walk-on, and I think Darcey steals the attention from everyone this week in a flower-print A-line dress that reaches the floor and an actual beehive hairdo. It's both bizarre and kind of cool, so well done Darcey and the ten cans of hairspray it took to achieve that. As for everyone else, Bruno slides on sideways and his opening gyrations are starting to skeeve me out a little bit, Craig does a spin, and Shirley spends so long vamping with the audience that she misses her cue for the final pose by a clear five seconds. Still, head judge's privilege to arrive when she feels like it, I guess?

Now all we need is the arrival of our Strictly stars, so here they are: Davood Bond and Nadiya, showgirl Mollie and AJ (who has reached peak volume with his hair this week, if you need to know who to blame should there be reports of a nationwide mousse shortage), Gemma and Aljaž in a veritable rainbow of colour, Debbie (who has come as that moment in the 'Look At Me' video when Geri Halliwell killed off Ginger Spice) and Giovanni, Joe and Katya in their best 90s clubbing gear, Susan and Kevin (as Scott and Fran from Strictly Ballroom), Jonnie and Oti (as Tron), and finally Alexandra and Gorka as two people so rich that they are literally wearing their money. Relatable!

Tess says that she hopes the couples are ready to deliver a performance worthy of this iconic space, which kind of sounds like a veiled threat, and then it's over to Mollie and AJ to open the competition. Mollie will be dancing a charleston this evening, and Mollie will be playing a bird of paradise. In her VT, Mollie recalls really enjoying her paso and thinking she'd done well, but then the judges started talking. She feared that their chances of making it to Blackpool were dead in the water, but then people miraculously started voting for her and spared her from a third consecutive dance-off. Mollie reports that everything needs to be bigger and better for Blackpool (to be honest, Mol, we'd just settle for "better") and the training footage indicates that their charleston is going to be approximately 95 per cent lifts - which, given Mollie's lack of finesse in the lifting department thus far, is grounds for concern. Mollie tells AJ that one of the joys of being at Blackpool is that she'll be able to go up north to see her family. Honestly, who would've predicted that Mollie King had northern roots, with those vowels? (Side note: I will never, ever tire of hearing Mollie say "up north". If it means each week of the competition from now on has to move further north until we end up broadcasting the final from the Faroe Islands, then so be it.) Mollie and AJ use this as an excuse to visit Mollie's nana in Hull, who isn't really mobile enough to make the journey to London (or indeed Blackpool, since Hull is about as close to Blackpool as London is to Bristol), let alone sit on one of those uncomfortable studio chairs once she gets there. So, despite it being very much on the other side of the country, Mollie and AJ take a little detour to bring the Strictly experience to Nana Mollie's living room. Nana Mollie describes this as a "surprise visit", even though there is a cameraperson inside Nana Mollie's hallway when she opens the door to her granddaughter, which one might think would be a bit of a tip-off. Nana Mollie shows AJ some pictures of young Mollie, who despite the presentation of this as an "embarrassing old photo" moment really doesn't look that different, and we're spared the hours of inquisition of AJ about his intentions towards Mollie that I'm absolutely sure happened. Nana Mollie asks what they're dancing this weekend, and when AJ tells her it's a charleston she replies "oh, that's hard." Ha! I love Nana Mollie. AJ and Mollie charleston in the living room for her, in a cut-down version designed not to shatter any tchotchkes, and Nana Mollie gives them a 10 and advises them to enjoy it, with a slight subtext of "WHILE IT LASTS".

Their routine is to 'Wings' by Little Mix, which seems like a slight trolling of Mollie considering they're the one contemporary UK girlband of The Saturdays who absolutely blew them out of the water sales-wise (and also a slight trolling of me, because I don't particularly care for Little Mix and this song is one of their worse efforts). As with the majority of Mollie's dances, it starts with a lot of energy and purpose that sort of trails off about 30 seconds in, though she shows some decent swivel at the beginning. It's also one hell of a liftathon, including one where Mollie wraps her thighs around AJ's neck and swings out in front of him (while he holds up her torso and tries to remember the safe word), where the dismount is a little clumsy, and then there are a couple of drags along the floor where Mollie just sort of goes limp, and then a big climatic moment where AJ bends over (steady) and Mollie leaps onto his back and he just chucks her around his torso and over his shoulders before planting her on the floor and then lifting her back onto his shoulder again. The dismount from this one is a little death-defying as AJ holds her by the knees and swings her face-first towards the floor before pulling her upright and placing her down again. You know what? Yes, there wasn't a lot of actual charleston in this. Yes, Mollie's still kind of floppy and indistinct in her extensions. But I'm going to give her a lot of credit for hurling herself gamely into those lifts, any number of which could have left her with a broken nose if she'd timed them wrong. It ends with an extended focus on AJ and the backing dancers so that Mollie can get into a harness and be lifted into the sky, which is my least favourite way of ending a dance, but there you go.

Tess congratulates Mollie on those amazing lifts, and Mollie says that AJ is very strong. After Tess thanks the singers - Hayley, Jamie, Andrea and Lance this week, if anyone's curious [The budget can stretch to a thousand extra dancers but not Tommy and new girl Tori? - Rad] - Shirley opens for the judges by saying that it was a great way to open the show, and that she liked the mix of slow sensual movements and some proper attack, as well as Mollie's execution of the lifts. Bruno says it was like a ride on The Big One. Well, he would know. He thought there was more confidence in this one, but there were moments where Mollie's concentration lapsed. Craig thought there was no turnout in Mollie's swivel, and she needs to decide whether to point or flex her foot, but the lifts were a triumph. Darcey finishes by saying that she thought there was precision in the swivel, and the lifts were very daring, but she did spot Mollie's shoulders creeping up again in one of the drag lifts. (Business idea - Drag Lifts, lifts where the operator is a drag queen.)

AJ carries Mollie to the Blackpool Clauditorium, where Mollie says it's a huge honour to open the show and the crowd are fantastic. Claudia reveals that Mollie and AJ went to watch some proper dancing at the Winter Gardens last night, and Mollie reaffirms that she has fallen in love with dancing. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 7, Shirley 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 29 - Mollie's second-highest score, but only if you don't factor in an adjustment for No Bruno week when she got three eights. For a very special terms and conditions, the town crier (and honestly I think they missed a trick by not casting Ore as the town crier) strides in ringing his bell to introduce special guest announcer Peter Kay, who hijacks the entire thing to flog tickets for his tour in what I think is probably a breach of BBC guidelines. That's live TV for you.

Tess: "HAHAHA THANK YOU PETER KAY WE LOVE YOU right our next couple is Susan Calman and her partner Kevin Clifton." Heh. (Fun fact: as of tonight, Susan is the only contestant to have been on first, on last and in the death slot. Make of that what you will.) Their routine for tonight is about an underdog couple in a ballroom competition triumphing against all the odds and constantly talking about how this is the greatest moment of their lives and they've never been so happy. Sorry, I think the lines may have become slightly blurred there. Susan enjoyed last week's tango, and she says that Kevin in a tailsuit was how she imagined their wedding picture would be. I like Susan, but I firmly believe that tailcoats have no place at a wedding. They look weird. This week they have the paso doble, to the music from Strictly Ballroom. Kevin says that Susan needs to fill the giant floor at Blackpool with her presence, and takes her to a private screening of the movie to see what she needs to do. They practice in the screening room, and I think I'd take people doing a paso in the cinema any day over people checking their goddamn phones halfway through a film.

So, yes. I imagine this routine is a lot more meaningful if you have seen Strictly Ballroom and I have not, but from a layman's perspective Susan is giving it a really good go - she's clearly worked very hard on her shaping and her footwork and in crafting a haughty demeanour that doesn't come naturally to her, but her solo flamenco section is a bit half-hearted and she actually looks a bit...frightened? Plus she just seems a little bit out of breath after the halfway mark, which rather detracts from the intensity. For all the build-up this routine got as something that Kevin had spent the last five years pitching and planning for, the end result feels a bit "...is that it?" [It also felt very 'Susan was also present' which might explain why they didn't let him outshine one of his ringers - Rad]

In the audience: JK Rowling enjoyed it, but JK Rowling also endorsed the casting of Johnny Depp in the Fantastic Beasts franchise, so let's not set too much store by her taste. Bruno thought she was "somewhere between Penelope Cruz and Craig in panto", and he loved the intensity but she needs to be careful to keep everything big. Craig felt it needed "more of everything" - intent, purpose, shaping, skirting. He found it a bit too soft and wafty, but he loved the flamenco bit. Darcey says that the ballroom is big and daunting when you have to fill it, and she felt that there were points where Susan was trying to keep up with Kevin, but "like the boys were saying" she needs to work on the shaping although the flamenco was good. Shirley liked the mix of paso in there, but she feels the flamenco parts should be turned inward rather than outward. She would've liked to see Susan make the most of the skirt, but she thought she covered the floor well and had some nice styling in there.

They get a rhythmically-clapped welcome into the Clauditorium, and Susan says it was wonderful to help Kevin do his dream paso. Kevin says he's wanted to do that routine since he was eight, in a ballroom like this with Susan Calman. That seems...historically inaccurate. Scores: Craig 5, Darcey 6, Shirley 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 25. Claudia congratulates Susan on her ability to be pleased with a 5.

Next we have Debbie and Giovanni, who will be doing some party latin. Eep. Last week's salsa was certainly attention-grabbing, despite a few mistakes. Debbie was particularly proud of being held aloft by her private parts, because that was a Strictly first. I'll take her word for it, I'm certainly not googling it. This week they're doing a samba to a Spice Girls medley - "all their songs were fun and happy!" says Debbie, who clearly doesn't remember 'Too Much' or 'Goodbye' - and after the obligatory magic moment to get her latin shoes on, Debbie and Giovanni practice the samba roll, which Debbie giggles is like a sausage roll because it's difficult to get through. Well, I guess she can kiss goodbye to a Greggs sponsorship once the show is over. She's also finding the bounce action quite challenging, but she's having fun.

So Debbie gets to lead her own bunch of Spice Girls (complete with Chloe as Sporty Spice <3) out to 'Wannabe', then she and Giovanni samba around a bunch of those Amazon Echo podiums. Musical point of order: the singer changes the middle eight to "we got Em in the place who likes it in the face", which isn't quite the original lyric and is perhaps a little bit racy for Saturday teatime [although changing the lyrics to reference Debbie and 'G' was cute - Rad] . Debbie's samba technique seems pretty decent although perhaps lacking a little on the bounce front. The medley then segues into 'Who Do You Think You Are' which is where Debbie tackles the samba rolls. They seem to be good, although for some reason the camera person has chosen to record the entire experience from the least flattering of angles. Debbie spends a bit of time on a podium dancing by herself and looking fairly uncomfortable, and I think perhaps Giovanni should have cut that bit, but otherwise this is a reasonably decent piece of party latin. My only concern is that two back-to-back party latin routines is rarely a good look on anyone, and Debbie is no exception. Still, I guess it's best to get it out of the way and hopefully leave yourself a clear run of more manageable routines in the run-up to the final. [I really wasn't keen but as you say, she's got all the party latin done now. Still gutted they didn't get American Smooth for this week - Rad]

Craig found it a little bit spiky and stiff and would've liked the shadow rolls to be smoother, but he loved the drop-splits and thought the timing was exceptional. Darcey, on the other hand, loved the shadow rolls and thought the travelling on the promenade rolls was great, but she was quite surprised to see the energy flagging a little at the end. Shirley compliments Debbie on her vertical line through her body, and she thought Debbie was outstanding in that shadow reverse roll. Bruno thanks her for bringing girl power and says that she's never danced better. Really? I can think of several occasions off the top of my head.

In the Clauditorium, Debbie says she really enjoyed it tonight, but she isn't entirely sure what she did. Claudia says that Geri sent her a message of support yesterday, but we don't get to hear what it actually was - possibly because it was vaguely incoherent. (Love you really Geri <3 <3 <3). Scores: Craig 7, Darcey 8, Shirley 9, Bruno 9 for a total of 33. The scores are following a very rigid pattern tonight, aren't they? Giovanni makes Debbie do more samba rolls as Claudia reads out the voting numbers.

Jonnie and Oti are next, with a tango to 'Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)' by Eurhythmics, a song that a lifetime of watching The Simpsons has inevitably led me to shout "I AM WATCHING YOU THROUGH A CAMERA!" every time I hear it. Last week's foxtrot was a bit of a letdown and left Jonnie in the dance-off, but he's glad he survived to dance at Blackpool. This week they have the tango, and Oti says that it's a sharp, staccato routine with a lot of head movements, and I quote verbatim, "Jonnie's picking up quite a headache from the speed of his head."

*blinks*

Well, that's me done here. Good night, everybody!

Their dance has a futuristic theme involving robots and lights, so Oti suggests they go to the Blackpool Tower to turn on the lights. They argue about the colour that the lights should be, for some reason, and their tampering causes the lights to "break". This VT has a distinct air of "will this do?" about it.

Inevitably, the tango causes Jonnie a few posture problems - he's still sticking his bum out, although in the tight trousers he's wearing for this you're not going to hear me complaining. His frame is still a little bit loose and wobbly, but he looks more confident than he has done the past few week, and he's got some good staccato movement. There's one bit in the middle of the routine where the need to involve the backing dancers in a meaningful way clearly hinders the routine more than it helps. All in all, it's a decent effort but perhaps not the comeback he needed if he was going to galvanise the casual voters to chuck a few more points his way.

Darcey loved the focus and the determination throughout the routine, but she found his frame was a bit too high and his bottom was still sticking out and he was leaning on Oti a little too much, particularly at the end. Shirley says she's trying to think how she can help him with his posture, and he needs to think of the tailbone of his spine pointing downwards - his frame was improved, but the posture still needs work. Bruno found it very Tron-like, and there was a section where they were brilliantly in sync with the professions - but Jonnie has "irreversible bum syndrome", because he keeps sticking it out. Hey, he's just giving the people what I -- I mean, "they" want. Craig says he was leaning over Oti like the Tower of Pisa and that meant he didn't achieve the v-shaping. He didn't feel like Jonnie was leading the dance either, but he loved the routine overall.

Jonnie retreats to the Clauditorium, where he says that he really enjoyed it, but that he's known since the very beginning that tango posture was always going to be a problem for him. He was trying to pull his bum in, but apparently not enough. Claudia, temporarily possessed by the spirit of Aljaž, tells him that it was perfect. Jonnie's friend Martin and Jonnie's girlfriend are in the audience, and Martin was apparently the first person to push Jonnie in his wheelchair back in the day, and that bonded them for life. Scores: Craig 6, Darcey 7, Shirley 6, Bruno 7 for a total of 26. Shirley looks genuinely apologetic for that six as well, in an "I'd like to have given you more points because I like you but I just can't justify it" sort of way.

After a preview of the four dances yet to come, it's time for Claudia's Comedy Interlude where she tries to help a seagull find its nest, only to return with it in her hair, claiming she doesn't know where it went. As ever, the gag is not terribly inspired but Claudia's commitment rescues it.

Gemma and Aljaž are next, and Gemma enjoyed her Viennese waltz last week, even the bit where her shoe fell off mid-fleckerl. Gemma points out that Cinderella lost a shoe but still got to go to the ball - except she lost the shoe when she was running away from the ball at midnight, hon. This week they have the American smooth foxtrot, and Gemma's finding it hard to push through her standing leg in heels. Aljaž has themed the routine around a Blackpool tram, so they go off on a private tram to get themselves in the mood. Gemma says that she loves Blackpool, as she used to come here a lot with her dad, who died when she was 17, so now each visit is slightly tinged with sadness. On the tram they see the illuminations, they see the tower, they see the pier, and then they round it all off by mowing down Alan Bradley and saving Rita.

So their American smooth is to 'Downtown', and apparently begins with Gemma either losing the key to her hotel or flat-out being turned away, because she's outside a B&B and looking mopey - but then Aljaž arrives to lift her spirits with the power of dance! After a couple of weeks of not quite nailing it, this is the comeback that Gemma was after - it's all very elegant and perfectly placed and she looks comfortable in the lifts for once. There's a little bit of gapping in the foxtrot sections, and if I'm being perfectly honest it's not the most thrilling routine, but I'm just really pleased to see her back on form. I still don't necessarily know if she can count on making the final, but if she can maintain this next week she might well be back in contention.

Shirley opens by telling Gemma that she must be a great student because she listens, listens, and listens some more. She was really following Aljaž's lead in this routine, and Shirley admits that she got quite emotional to see Gemma nailing the head and body position and bringing energy. Bruno says it had a weightless flow that was magic, and exquisite use of arms - and it's great to see someone applying the judges' feedback. However, I feel like his comment about how Gemma is getting better and better every week isn't necessarily borne out by the feedback or the scores from the last couple of weeks. Craig says she took her pivots on her toes and she's got too much energy in her fingers, but she hit great lines and she's really taking the feedback on board and improving. Darcey says that the tracking of her feet was great and she kept her body taut with beautiful finishes to her lines.

Gemma heads uptown to the Clauditorium with a squeal of delight, and tells Claudia that she feels at home back in Lancashire. Aljaž is all "yeah, both of us". Heh. Claudia tells us that Gemma's mum has tried to get Blackpool tickets to see the show lots of times, and now she's finally here watching her daughter. Awww. Scores: Craig 9, Darcey 9, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 38, inducting Gemma into the 10 Club and now leaving Jonnie, Mollie and Susan as the only outsiders. [God love them but I think it's unlikely any of them will join it. That said, the scoring this series has not always been predictable and some random 10s have made an appearance - Rad] Aljaž gets a little bit teary, bless him.

Davood and Nadiya are next, with their James Bond-themed paso. Oh good, a James Bond-themed routine, how entirely unprecedented. Naturally the two of them are pretty pleased with how their charleston went last week, and Davood never expected to get an "uh-may-zing" from Craig, nor did he expect to get 10s. Davood is very excited to be James Bond this week, and Nadiya is working him very hard in rehearsals to get the hang of the body shaping. The opening will involve him parachuting in like the Queen at the Olympics, so Nadiya takes him to an indoor skydiving centre to get a sense of it. Davood says it's just like the paso because if you make a wrong movement, you'll go spinning off all over the place. Is he doing this paso on ice or something? Nadiya says that Davood is really keeping it cool like James Bond, which is followed by a cut of Davood in the wind tunnel grinning like a labrador. Can't say I'm wholly convinced by his coolness right now, to be honest.

So Davood is wearing one of those see-through mesh shirts that you always see James Bond wearing (right?) and is clearly of the lead-with-your-chin school of paso performance. His body shape is pretty good (in every sense) and he does some nice walks, but I think the routine does slightly highlight Nadiya at Davood's expense, because there are quite a lot of sections where he's just a strong, stoic frame for her to pivot around. Also I think I'd maybe like a bit more intent in his arms. Credit where it's due though: he does do what looks like an excellent jeté-en-tournant to me, though. It has a similar problem to Mollie's paso from last week, in that it doesn't take advantage of a natural end in the choreography (a dramatic standing pose right after the aforementioned leap) and instead goes with a much weaker one: in this case, Nadiya collapsing to the floor and Davood just...walking off. Okay then.

Bruno declares it "mission accomplished" and says that he's earned his - wait for it - "licence to thrill". Do we have to do that joke every time there's a Bond-themed routine? Craig thought the hands were a bit splayed, but it was a powerful performance. Darcey found it strong and dramatic, but she also noticed the splayed fingers. Shirley really liked the twist turn.

Claudia compliments Davood on how far he's come since the beginning, in terms of both ability and confidence, and we get to see Davood's parents in the audience. Scores, once Shirley has finished having a little chat with Bruno: Craig 8, Darcey 9, Shirley 9, Bruno 9 for a total of 35. Davood is very happy with that. Claudia teases the arrival of Joe's "giant eight-foot-wide clock". She takes great care to sound the 'l' in 'clock', as one would.

As we cut back to Tess, Shirley is still chatting away - to Darcey, this time. Shirley's total inability to recognise when she's on camera is one of my favourite things about her. Our penultimate couple of the night are Alexandra and Gorka, who will be bringing us a quickstep tonight. Alexandra thinks it was an honour to be asked to do the first Argentine tango of the series last week, and it was her favourite of all the dances that she's done. This week their quickstep will be on giant revolving coins (of course!) and she's finding the stamina required for the routine to be quite challenging. To get in the mood for the giant coins, Alexandra suggests they go to the arcade. Gorka replies "English people know how to have fun!", and I can't decide whether the sarcastic tone was a conscious choice or an unintended byproduct of his accent, but either way, I enjoyed it. Gorka subsequently fails to win anything on the penny-pushing machine, so I guess he won't be following Oti's lead and signing up for Tipping Point: Lucky Stars any time soon. (Also, not to constantly harp on his accent, but the way he puts the stress at the start of "pennies" in "I lost all my pennies" sounds well dirty, lolz.) He also fails to beat Alexandra at air hockey, and is there an ITV gameshow based around air hockey? It's probably only a matter of time.

Their quickstep is to 'The Gold Diggers' Song (We're In The Money)' from 42nd Street, which at least explains the giant coin theme. It's a beautifully put-together routine with lots of charleston accents to it, plenty of speed and floor coverage, and Alexandra makes it look absolutely effortless. It probably has more breaks of hold than would normally be tolerated until this year's weird puritan approach to the alleged rule book, but something tells me that the Blackpool-ness of it all might be enough to let them get away with it. Anyway: dance of the night, easily. I know people hate on the ringers, but in an unpredictable series, Alexandra's utter reliability warms me.

Alexandra giggles that she loved it, and Craig says that there was a little bit of gapping right at the end, but he's really starting to wonder if there's anything she can't do. Aside from correctly identifying the international use of phrases, possibly not. Darcey loved Gorka's choreography, and she loved the stillness in Alexandra's top line, which she thought was incredible considering the bounce of the floor. Shirley didn't see any gapping and thought Alexandra really kept up with the uptempo music. Bruno admired the style and the detail, and he couldn't see any effort in it - it looked like it could have come out of a classic Hollywood movie.

Alexandra is sobbing a little bit by the time she gets to the Clauditorium, and says that she promised herself she wouldn't cry, but she's overwhelmed to be here with all of these amazing people and she loves them all so much. Gorka pretends to cry in solidarity. Hee. Alexandra says she loves jumping aorund, so this was a perfect dance for her. Scores: Craig 9, Darcey 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39. Alexandra sobs on Gorka a little bit.

Making his pimp slot debut tonight is Joe with his ravey salsa to 'Ride On Time' by Black Box. He was pleased to survive his rumba and get a 9 from Shirley into the bargain. He's very happy to be salsaing in Blackpool, but he's really feeling the pressure to make it big and brilliant. Katya says that it is a big number with a lot going on, and Joe is struggling to do the chest pops in rehearsals. Joe will be flying in on a clock this week (literally riding on time, you see) so Katya takes him on a ferris wheel to ensure he has the necessary head for heights.

So, yes, I've been really looking forward to this one, and I can honestly say it does not disappoint - in fact, it is exactly what I wanted in that it is utterly gaymazingly ridiculous from start to finish. It includes: Joe being rotated 360-degrees by the backing dancers, Joe turning Katya in a pot-stirrer with his foot in yet another of this series' many fuck-yous to Brendan Cole, Katya doing all sorts of lifts that surely would dislocate the hips of lesser women, Katya wrapping her ankles around Joe's neck and literally vaulting over his head, a proper 90s dance breakdown, Joe shaking his booty right at the camera, and as the big climactic moment, Katya wrapping herself around Joe's head in a donut-shape and then just dropping to the ground (not particularly neatly it has to be said, but good grief, that woman's bones must be made of rubber). I'm not sure how much of it counts as legitimate salsa, but on this occasion, I'm going to say: who cares, it was AMAZING. [As a salsa, it was a mess, but as entertainment,  good fun. I know Katya isn't your favourite but under the irritating personality she is bringing some interesting (if not always successful) choreo. And Ride on Time is from the 80s no matter what this show says - Rad]

Darcey loved the energy and the attitude, and she thinks there was incredibly difficult armography, but also one or two sticky moments. She thought the lifts were phenomenal, though. Shirley agrees with Darcey that Joe's energy was amazing, and he tended to use lateral hip swings rather than the figure of eight, and she thinks Joe managed to save even the stickier moments. Bruno thinks "it's all working quite well down there" and loved the party mood. Craig thought it lacked fluidity and hip rotation, and Joe lost balance at the end, but what a routine though.

They walk right in, walk walk walk right in to the Clauditorium (yes, I have been waiting a whole week to make that joke, shush) and Joe says it's a real privilege to be the one who closes the show. Scores: Craig 8, Darcey 8, Shirley 9, Bruno 9 for a total of 34.

Let's see that leaderboard then:

1. Alexandra & Gorka - 39
2. Gemma & Aljaž - 38
3. Davood & Nadiya - 35
4. Joe & Katya - 34
5. Debbie & Giovanni - 33
6. Mollie & AJ - 29
7. Jonnie & Oti - 26
8. Susan & Kevin - 25

The main takeaway here is that Debbie is much lower than usual and could be in danger: in theory having both Mollie and Jonnie beneath her should be a fairly comfortable buffer, but all it takes is for one of them to have a resurgence and for Susan's vote to be as robust as I suspect it is for Debbie to be in danger this week.

Anyway, Claudia welcomes the High Sheriff of Lancashire and Sir Lenny Henry in to open the phone lines and read the terms and conditions. Recap: one of the few moments where Mollie's feet were mostly on the floor, Susan's slightly exhausted paso, Debbie McGee not coming for free because she's a real laydee, Jonnie's bum popping out yet again, Gemma finally nailing that ballroom, Davood living out the obligatory James Bond fantasy, Alexandra being head and shoulders above everyone else, and Joe sassing his way through a rave.

Who's leaving this week? Join us later for the results, as well as performances from Michael Ball & Alfie Boe, and Tears For Fears...