Charles discharged

Week 11: Top 6 Perform (Musicals Week) - 2 December 2018

Okay, so when we were promised a pro dance from Sweet Charity last night, who assumed it would be something nice and wholesome to 'If My Friends Could See Me Now'? Well, you reckoned without the efforts of one Jason Gilkison, who has instead opted to get all the pros celebrating free love to 'The Rhythm Of Life' as performed by special guest star Trevor Dion Nicholas. And yes, before you even ask, I am extremely here for Gorka in round purple sunglasses and a snakeskin shirt open to the waist banging away at a tambourine. It's all surprisingly sinister and sexual for 7:20pm on a Sunday night on BBC One, and that's before we get to "crawl, crawl, crawl to Daddy!" And to think they worried that it was the same-sex dancing that would corrupt the younger viewers... [Well, that was mental.  And who was the spare dancer putting himself front and centre the whole time? To think the live audience sat through that, the Mamma Mia number, Faye's Goatherd and... well, the whole performance show, really, in one night.  That's got to be quite the experience - Rad]

Tess and Claudia return, and I'm relieved to report that Tess's dress, while still not objectively "good", is at least something approaching acceptable after last night's horror show: it's a burgundy velvet asymmetrical number that would look better if it didn't appear as though she stretched it out of shape trying to get her head through the neckhole, but as I said, it's a step in the right direction. (Claudia, once again, looks great in a black dress, and maybe needs to have a word with Tess about the whole "less is more" aesthetic.)

The judges are ushered in, rocking a black-and-white aesthetic across the board (and Darcey appears to be having Shirley's usual problem of a dress so tight that she can't quite move quickly or rhythmically enough), and Tess reminds us that Adam Lambert will be with us later, but before all that, it's time for a quick behind-the-scenes look at what went down in the main show. Faye (very blinky and in her marionette fright make-up) says that it's getting quiet backstage now that there are only six of them left, and Stacey says that it feels very real but she also feels very calm. Charles says that he has to do well tonight, or he's out (I mean he phrases it in the broader sense of "one has to", but we all know what he means), Ashley would love to make it to the semi-final, while the athlete in Lauren is emerging and she wants to get all the way to the final. Joe's having the time of his life and he doesn't want it to end, and it's all being broadcast to his fans, like and subscribe, like and subscribe. We get treated to shots of some last-minute practising backstage, and Faye's charleston is somehow even more terrifying when she's just marking it through. In terms of post-dance reactions: Dianne decides she has to call Joe "Joseph" now, Lauren is twirling with glee and AJ thanks her for delivering her best dance so far, Charles says that everything just came together like a dream, the feed briefly cuts out during the replay of Ashley's quickstep (a portent of doom?!) and Ashley says that despite everything she had a really fun time out there, Kevin is very proud of Stacey, and Faye and Giovanni yodel with delight at Craig giving them a 10.

Tess. The lights. The Cue Cards Of Doom. It's that time again: Stacey and Kevin are safe, and so are Faye and Giovanni. Thank yewwww, thank yewwww, etc. The first couple under the red light is Charles and Karen. All three couples in limbo look to be, if you'll forgive the expression, shitting themselves. Lauren and AJ in particular are giving off a very "publicly supportive but privately furious wife standing by disgraced Home Secretary" vibe, although I think that might just be the way they've done her hair.

Charles, for his part, takes it fairly well and tells Tess that it's never good to be in the bottom two but they'll just fight to stick around as much as they can. Bruno says that the reason Charles is here because people must want to see his rumba again. Bruno, people have iPlayer and YouTube if that's the case. Tess asks Shirley what Charles can do to secure a place in the semi-final, and Shirley tells him that he's got grounded footwork and beautiful body action, so he just needs to go out there and just give it everything one more time.

It's looking very sparse up in the Clauditorium these days, although Stacey has enough excitement for about 10 people all by herself. Stacey says that she didn't want to say it before this because she didn't want to be "begging the cheese card" (?) but she's always wanted to do the charleston, and that's what she's got next week, along with...the Viennese waltz, presumably? Anyway, now she gets to do her charleston, and she's so excited that she grabs Claudia by the face. Again. What if Stacey starts doing her documentaries like this? Going to the troubled spots to meet women living in extreme and dangerous circumstances and then just...grabbing their faces? Kevin says that he wants to be in the final, of course he does, but everyone's brilliant at this point and should be proud of themselves. Faye is having some sort of emotional breakdown at having got this far (which is made hilarious by the get-up she's got on), and Stacey steps in to tell her that she's brilliant even if she doesn't know she is, and Faye says that it's anyone's game at this point. But mostly Stacey and Joe's. Giovanni (looking oddly like Shannel from RuPaul's Drag Race in that wig from certain angles) talks about how Faye's gone from saying "lovely! lovely!" to everything to really growing as a performer. I'm not sure how the two things are linked, but never mind.

For this week's guest performance, it appears that we've now gone beyond "the members of Queen recruit Adam Lambert as sometime-frontman" to "the members of Queen just send Adam Lambert out by himself when they can't be arsed to turn up". He's singing 'We Are The Champions' entirely without nuance, which is why I've never really been able to get on board with him as a singer, and anyway all my attention is on the fact that Neil and Katya are the designated dancers for this one and on trying to spot any signs of tension between them. (None apparent.)

Over to Claudia for Dance Debrief, and the judges enter to 'All That Jazz'. Darcey wants to review Faye's charleston, and for once the slow-motion section does actually show her and Giovanni working in pretty perfect synchronisation. Also Craig thinks the goats were really good. Shirley is asked what she meant about Ashley's quickstep, and Shirley clarifies that she wanted to see some rhythm changes, but Ashley is an amazing dancer who can take more chances. Craig loved Lauren's American smooth and the way her personality shone through, and finally Bruno reiterates how swept away he got by Stacey's American smooth, and the way Kevin's choreography summarised three hours of stage production in 90 seconds of dancing. Don't let the general public know that Bruno, they won't bother with Les Mis at all after that.

Back to Tess with the Cue Cards Of Doom, and Joe and Dianne are safe. So it's between Lauren and AJ, and Ashley and Pasha, to face Charles in the dance-off, and it's...Ashley and Pasha. Ashley smiles thinly, AJ squeals with delight. (Fun fact: this is now AJ's most successful series, since he's always made it to the semi-final, and this is the first time he's done so without being in the dance-off. It's also the furthest Giovanni's ever been without being in a dance-off, though obviously not his most successful series ever yet because he's been in two finals before.)

Ashley and Pasha walk over to Tess, who says it doesn't get any easier, and Ashley agrees that it doesn't: she falls back on the standard reality TV clichés and says that "it is what it is" and they just need to prove how much they want to be here. Darcey tells Ashley that she's shocked and disappointed to see her in the dance-off, and she just wants her to just enjoy this dance because it's a pleasure to watch her. Tess asks Craig what more Ashley can do, and Craig tells her to believe in herself and know that she has worked hard to be here. Ashley's a little tearful at this point, and I do feel for her - although she hasn't quite had the Alexandra Burke gut-punch of being in the dance-off for the second week in a row and after topping the leaderboard, it's really got to sting to get to this point and realise that the public just aren't behind you.

Claudia's with Joe and Dianne and Lauren and AJ, and she reminds Joe of his promise to dye his hair the same colour as Dianne's if he makes the final. Joe giggles that he can't really go back on his word, and it's going to look awful and not suit him at all. Dianne reveals that her parents will be coming if she makes the final - but if she doesn't make it through next week, they're not bothering. Harsh. Lauren says she feels really overwhelmed and thanks the public for voting for her, and her nan for being there with her in spirit this week.

After the standard plug for the social media/podcast/BBC Three guff/It Takes Two/official Shirley Ballas "CHICKEN!" sat-nav voice plug in, it's time for the dance-off. Charles and Karen go first, and I think they both know this is their last hurrah but they give it their all nonetheless, and honestly that's all I want from these people. Ashley and Pasha go next, and she hasn't quite sorted out the arm or the gapping, but it's still a no-brainer that she gets to stay over Charles.

Over to the judges: Craig loved both performances, but for the more solid and technically demanding performance, he votes to save Ashley and Pasha. Darcey says it's horrible to choose between these two, but on complexity she votes to save Ashley and Pasha. Bruno thanks both couples for giving wonderful performances, but he thought the more accomplished and exciting performance came from Ashley and Pasha. Shirley confirms that she would've voted to save Ashley too.

So Charles is out [my headline if I got his exit was gonna be 'Chucked Venn' and I'm a little gutted I'm not gonna use it.  Except just now, of course.  I hope Lauren's next because I definitely have a better one for her than I do Ashley.  Or, you know, someone else who could be there theoretically - Rad] , and he thanks his family for their support, and Karen for turning him into a promising dancer and supporting him throughout the whole process. His most memorable moments will be doing the first street/commercial dance on the show, and getting Karen her first 10s. He also thanks the voters, and the judges "for saving our rumps a couple of times". Heh. Karen says that Charles has been humble, professional, and has "always respect[ed] me as a woman, a friend, and a teacher". Aww. I admit I'm not the world's biggest Karen fan, but I really grew to like this partnership, and I think Karen actually turned in some of her best work this year. And looking back at the partners she's been given, she does generally get the shitty end of the stick so maybe it's time to give her a contender again and see what happens? [Agreed - I thought it was a good year for her all in all - Rad]

Charles and Karen get their final dance to 'And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going'. But y'are, Blanche! Y'are going! Final thoughts from the cast: Faye thinks it's going to get tough from here, Charles is definitely going to keep dancing but maybe just once or twice a week, Ashley breathlessly giggles that she's survived another week, Joe is ready for the semi-finals but maybe not for two dances, Stacey can't believe she's made it that far, and Lauren thinks it's incredible that she's in the final five.

Next week: two dances! And a performance from Little Mix! Join Rad for the full breakdown, and I'm not talking about Faye.