This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Ashley has a lot of piercings in her ear.
- Faye thinks they had twice the dances in half the time last week.  Only if you had four dances or rehearsed for just half the week, Faye.
- Joe promised not to dance better than Stacey in the semi-final.  And didn't.
- Bruno and Shirley's verdicts are that Stacey has had ups and downs but never lost her focus, Ashley didn't put a foot wrong until the paso, Joe was born to dance but can't allow his confidence to get knocked by the fact that he fucked up this week, and Faye has not only got technical excellence but also artistry.
- Shirley notes some people can fall apart in the run-up to the final.  Yes, usually the pros.
- Bruno thinks Strictly is like Doctor Who. Its fans are famously mental/grumpy, there are always conspiracy theories about the production, more men have had the top role than women, the early series were put together on tuppence, the villains aren't as good as they used to be and they play around with the space/time continuum (or because both shows rengenerate all the time, whatever).
- Bruno thinks he looks better now than he did 15 years ago. Well, he's entitled to his opinion, isn't he.
- Bruno and Shirley are not very good at recognising sillhouettes from this series.  Even when it's themselves.  (Except the goatherd dance, that's in everyone's minds forever)
- AJ loved Lauren's samba. I'm glad someone did.
- Lauren wishes there could be four trophies, AJ wants Kevin to win.
- Giovanni had to "have a word" with Faye before they went on to do the samba because she was so  nervous.
- Faye would like to do the Argentine tango again.
- The judges have picked Faye's Viennese waltz to be reprised in the first round.
- Zoe thinks Neil had the best seat in the house on Saturday. I dunno, I still think it's probably Aljaž or Gorka.
- In the rise and fall in a Viennese Waltz debate, Neil's on the side of 'have a little bit but not much'.
- All the female pros were crying at Joe's VW.  Presumably because they're all out and that made for a semi-final routine?
- Neil thinks it's impossible for male celebrities to learn to lead in a few days.
- Ashley and Pasha's impressive lift was actually the same one Ed and Katya did, but done right.
- Neil has never done ballet.  Maybe it's Darcey keeping him from getting a pro out of revenge?
- If you're not sure what to do with your free arm, do a bit of skirtography.
- The show repeatedly telling viewers off for not voting for Ashley is probably not going to help her cause.
- Pasha wore a suit and bowtie on the show and claims he 'wasn't going for cute'.  It's just inevitable, Pash, stop fighting it.
- Pasha forgot the ending of Ashley's paso doble, so Ashley had to make it up on the spot.
- Ashley and Pasha's dance-off American Smooth was his favourite of all their routines.
- The judges have chosen Ashley's Dirty Dancing salsa to be reprised in the final, possibly because they know Dirty Dancing is always worth a few votes at least.
- I really want Ashley's lipgloss from Tuesday's show.
- Ashley's showdance will be to 'Keep Your Head Up' by Birdy, Faye and Giovanni's will be to 'Lullaby Of Broadway', Joe and Dianne's will be to 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor' by Arctic Monkeys, and Stacey and Kevin's will be to 'Land Of 1000 Dances' by Wilson Pickett.
- Birdy is a descendant of Dick Bogarde.
- Joe McFadden is much more adept with a cane than Chris Hollins and Harry Judd, and can do most of the 1000 dances.  Musical Theatre Ringerrrrrrr.
- Joe McFadden keeps his glitterball on his bookcase, Harry Judd keeps his at his parents' house because his wife won't allow it in the house, and Chris Hollins keeps his on a top shelf but the D has fallen off.  The S has fallen off Harry's and he's had to blu-tack it on.
- Joe M will be in a play coming to a town near you soon.
- Chris H didn't get through everything in his final dress rehearsal properly.
- Joe M thinks he's like Stacey (?!?).
- Chris H thinks it's annoying that people hate on both ringers for being too good and on 'journey' contestants for not being good enough.
- Chris once got upgraded on a flight because he'd been on Strictly.
- Joe M keeps thinking they're talking about him every time he hears Joe S's name.
- Dianne told Harry that Joe YouTubed Harry's Viennese waltz in preparation for his own.
- Chris thinks the final will all come down to the showdance.
- Joe doesn't want to say who he thinks will win, Harry would say if pushed that he thinks it'll be Stacey, and Chris thinks the real winner is dance.
- Tess thinks being a parent is good training for hosting this show.
- Claudia wants Dave Arch to do the final terms and conditions.
- Claudia asked Charles if he could come back and do the show again next year because she loves him.
- Tess likes lifts (as in the dance moves, not like elevators).
- Tess's favourite part of the show is going into the showdance training rooms. 
- Ian would get a 10 paddle out for a showdance if it was emotional with lots of lifts.
- Ian and Zoe were too knackered to put many lifts in their showdance.
- Ian doesn't like none of your modern showdance music for young people - and includes songs from 13 years ago in that category.
- They are still trying to make Nell De Jaunse happen. No.
- Joe followed through on his promise to dye his hair red, including his eyebrows, but may not be keeping it that way for the final.
- Dianne's hands got dyed bright red in the process.
- Jake Wood nearly got lost in the maze at the location for the Christmas special opening number.
- There is a bit of a Nutcracker theme for the Christmas special.  Bet they thought that Disney film ws going to be a bigger hit than it was, huh?
- Michael Vaughn hasn't danced a step since leaving the show.
- This week's special musical guest was Englebert Humperdink and he was relegated to Thursday because Friday is presumably going to be packed full of #content.
- Stacey doesn't know what works in a showdance, but thinks that Kevin is the best person to lead her through it because he's been in hundreds of finals. (You might want to consider the fact that he didn't win any of them though, hon.)
- Vicky Gill's favourite outfits from this series include Katya's paso catsuit and Oti's waltz dress.
- Vicky Gill has a big checklist to make sure she doesn't forget to do an outfit for anyone.
- All of Amy's dresses from this series have been shipped off to Ireland for use on Dancing With The Stars.
- Oti is very vocal with the wardrobe team on Fridays.  Surprise.
- When designing for the couples, Vicky and her team always start with the woman's outfit first and then build the man's outfit to complement that, regardless of whether they're designing for a male or female celeb.
- Faye and Giovanni's showdance looks quite Charleston-esque.
- Ashley and Pasha's showdance involves a revolving platform.
- Claire Richards can't watch the show live with Faye on it because it's too stressful, so she records it and watches it later.
- It's possible that Stacey doesn't have many famous friends, because the person they got on to speak for her was Maya Jama who openly admitted "we're not that close".
- Kimberly Wyatt thinks "don't you wish your Strictly finalist could dance like Ashley?" is a persuasive argument.
- Caspar Lee is weirdly inarticulate for a professional YouTuber.
- Apparently Ashley and Joe are both underdogs.
- Karen is always doing cat impressions.
- Gorka is so afraid of cats that he crosses the street to avoid them and gets sweaty if they come near  him.
- The rest of the pros think that's a ridiculous fear, meanies.
- Amy was a prefect at school.
- Joanne went back and watched all the Viennese waltzes from the series and calculated that Stacey and Kevin had the third-most VW content of anyone, do not mess with the Cliftons.
- Kevin thinks the charlestons this year have been too commercial. Yeah, they're such sellouts! It used to be all about the dance, man!
- They let them in the big studio for Friday's show.
- Jessie Ware is a Stacey fan.
- They're making Dianne's 'first final' in her second year almost as big a thing as Katya's.  These people don't know they're born, Talk to Anton.  Or Janette.  Or Karen. 
- Dianne loves funny people.
- Vick has about as many ear piercings as Ashley.
- Graeme got a blue BMX for Christmas when he was eight.
- Zoe thinks Pasha has been her favourite version of "Pashpot" of all this year, and credits Ashley with that.
- Danny, Vick and Seann have all been allowed back in the building.
- All of the non-finalists went out on the razz on Friday night but the finalists had to go to bed.
- The final Friday panel of the year was Michael Ball, Alison Hammond and Ian Waite.
- This might be Michael Ball's favourite series of all.
- Given I haven't had to recap him singing with Alfie Boe, it might be mine too.
- Ian doesn't think Joe's dancing is awkward.
- Michael wants Stacey to win, Alison thinks Ashley should win, and as a BBC employee Ian is backing Faye and Joe for balance.
- Apparently Faye collapsed on the floor crying with joy when she found out she was going to be on Strictly.
- Faye's mother-in-law has been doing the washing and leaving hotpots for her.
- Zoe has given Stacey the "Leisure Two-Piece Training Outfit Wearer Of The Year" award.
- Stacey's favourite dances were the paso and the charleston.
- This show gets incredibly repetitive when we're down to four couples, doesn't it?