Monday, 24 November 2008

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- John Barrowman performs all in black because it makes him look less fat. He also thinks people should vote for Tom because he's got a nice arse. Sadly, that's nowhere near the most ridiculous reason to vote for someone we've heard this year.
- When scoring, Arlene starts with a 10 and deducts as necessary. As opposed to Len, who starts with a six and works upwards.
- Jodie's exit has made small children across the land (and one or two recappers) cry.
- Len's been judging ballroom competitions since he was 24. You'd think he'd be better at it by now.
- Steve Guttenberg is doing panto in Bromley (not WOKING, sadly). (NB - The Fonz is in PANTO in MILTON KEYNES this year.)
- Len has spent 187 hours on a plane so far this year. We hope he's planting a lot of trees to offset his carbon footprint.
- Christine put her skirt over her head in rehearsal. Matthew thinks it would be a good idea; he can pretend she's someone else. But WHO, Matthew?
- If Darren were to buy Lilia a pug, she would name it after Colin Jackson.
- Rachel's brother couldn't watch her rumba. Vincent's face is, we suspect, very glad.
- Tom's wife thinks Len should get it up and give it to him. A ten, that is.
- Len's Dalek impression is deeply unconvincing.
- Darren is left-handed.
- Cherie thinks that Tom has a different face for every dance. She neglects to mention that they're all stupid.
- Alesha is possibly the only person in the world who can wear a sequinned poncho and not look entirely ridiculous.
- She does not like Robert Palmer's Addicted To Love.
- The Barrowman and Arlene do not think Tom deserves a 10. Nor do we.
- Alesha thinks she is not a good person to have on the panel because she likes everyone.
- Tom is ILL but he is NOT TELLING ANYONE. It is a SECRET. That is why Claudia and Camilla told everyone on Friday.
- Brendan has got engaged! Congratulations, Brendan!
- He is threatening illegal lifts. But he is evidently lying because his and Lisa's dance-out on Friday was obviously entirely made up.

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