Saturday, 4 October 2014

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Aljaž smells of musky spice, or possibly catnip.
- Aljaž has sweaty palms.
- Alison had to get rid of her long nails in order to dance. She was very sad about this.
- Alison's dance made her feel like Sasha Fierce, 'like my other alter ego', which means there are at least three Alison Hammond variants in existence think on that.
- Zoe Ball recommends mittens for solving the problem of clammy hands.
- Judy went wrong in the same part of her waltz every time she did it.
- Pixie is superstitious, so the presence of new shoes on a table (well, a lectern) during Tim's cha cha cha made her very nervous.
- Gregg wants to dance with Simon.
- Greg the floor manager is still around, and still hotter than fire.
- Kristina thinks Simon is 'a great environment to work with'.  I wonder if that's what she said about Joe Calzaghe.
- Simon was a bit happier with how his jive went after he watched it back.
- Karen Hardy has joined the ranks of ex-pros who are having babies.  Congratulations Karen Hardy!
- When a woman slaps her thighs, it means business. (According to Karen Hardy.)
- When you resort to air-punching, it's not good. (Again, per Karen.)
- Judy's cha cha cha will have some towelography in it. If it involves Anton getting out of the shower, I am running far away from this series and not looking back.
- Thom has already taken his shirt off for votes, and it is only day five.
- Pixie got her friend’s mum to video her performance on her phone and WhatsApp it to her. Kids these days.
- Pixie is hoping not to let Darcey down.  Nice to know she's aiming for a low bar.
- Kevin worried about looking rubbish in the titles, because if you mess it up, you look rubbish for the whole series.
- Scott considers Joanne to be his “temporary girlfriend”.
- Iveta's dance moves include the Star Trek, the holding baby twins, the fruit salad and the balloony ball.
- Thom is no less wooden off the dance floor than on it. :(
- Iveta thinks that Thom’s comfort zone does not encompass wearing a tail suit. Presumably because it involves wearing clothes at all.
- Thom thinks Iveta sounds like Bruce Willis when she says “body”.
- Karen Hardy does a very telling 'yeeeas' noise when Zoe reminds her another KH (another Karen H, no less) is on the show.
- Karen Hardy would like us to remember that Marks and Karens make good teams.
- Alison Hammond has RHYTHM in her body, according to Karen Hardy.  She does stop short of calling it natural, mind.
- Karen Hardy refuses to criticise Thom because he's wew fit and a SPORTSMAN, innit.
- No man who’s done a waltz in week one has ever won.
- Jennifer is too nice to jive.
- Tim and Natalie put in the most hours of training in week one.  Given that Michael Vaughn regularly did way more training than anyone else, I think we can assume Natalie Lowe really likes to work her partners hard, which is another reason why she's the best.
- Tim is like Mick Jagger, but better. And a whole decade younger.
- Tim appears to wear sunhats indoors during training.
- Caroline is allergic to apple juice.
- Caroline has a twin sister
- Caroline has never danced in front of millions of people before. (Except that time she was on Let’s Dance For Comic And/Or Sport Relief.)
- Ian is old enough to be Trent’s father.
- Tristan and Jennifer’s waltz looks like a paso doble
- Ian is trying to make ‘an 8 from Waite’ happen.  If this means head judge Ian is imminent I’ll happily approve.
- Scott liked Saturday’s show because all he had to do was walk down the stairs and laugh.
- Mark reminds Zoe of Nick Berry - “it’s that twinkle in his eye”.
- Mark’s nans are big Strictly fans. Somebody wants to be the new Alesha, doesn’t he?
- Despite a good couple of decades of presenting live TV, Zoe Ball has no idea how to prove a show is actually live.
- In much the same way as the jive is hard for tall people, apparently the tango is hard for peppy people.
- Joanne’s way of getting Scott’s posture to improve involves a bizarre combination of sitting on his shoulders, sticking a pen under his chin, elastic and water bottles.
- Aliona got married over the summer.
- Aliona has spent her whole time in training telling Gregg to stop mincing.
- Aliona is still a fan of custard, hurrah. That means we don't need to write any new jokes.
- Gregg doesn’t wear underwear. BLEE.  Also: Aliona’s. Face. At this revelation.
- Pasha and Caroline’s training involves them pretending to dance with their exes.  FAUXMANCE rumours start here, folks!
- Anton describes his cha cha cha as a bag of spanners.
- Tim is a fan of wearing a floppy hat in training. He also likes rules.
- Frankie isn’t very keen on pink.
- Sunetra almost forgot her son’s Harvest festival.
- Zoe has taken to wearing tops made of the same fabric as the ITT cushions.
- Scott Maslen's advice for Jake was "sleep and eat".
- Kevin is worried that he's losing his hair.
- Guido called Kevin "Joanne" backstage on Friday's show.
- Ballroom is hard for big girls.
- Louis Smith thinks cha cha is hard.
- Abbey Clancy hated Latin. Probably not as much as Steve hated Abbey's Latin, FUCKING DISCO SALSA NEVER FORGIVE NEVER FORGET.
- Abbey  thinks Thom will be first to go, Louis thinks Scott and Lisa Riley thinks Jenny. Seriously, guys?


Michelle said...

And didn't Caroline do Brian Fortuna's 'Dancing On Wheels', or have I completely imagined that?

Steven said...

She did, but I can't imagine that ever got "millions of viewers".