Friday, 31 October 2014

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- There is a lot of glitter in Sunetra’s bed when she wakes up on Sunday mornings.
- People have been accosting Zoe in the street - they are “furious” about Simon and Thom being in the bottom two, and “quite sad” about Thom going home. 
- Craig isn’t planning to forgive Len for sending Thom home any time soon.
- Craig doesn’t like to waste his nines and tens. (Except when Abbey Clancy’s involved, obviously.)
- Jake doesn’t really speak to anyone backstage because he’s “in the zone”, per Craig.
- Craig thinks to get nines and tens, Caroline needs to 'dance better'.  Thanks Craig!
- Craig hasn't seen a nine yet.
- The 'swing and the sway' is the last thing the POOR MALE CELEBRITIES will 'get', according to Craig.
- Thom and Iveta would’ve been doing a paso doble for Hallowe’en, and he was going to be shirtless. I am FURIOUS that we won’t get to see this.
- Jake is slightly more nervous about doing ballroom than Latin.
- Janette was singing along to ‘I’m Still Standing’ on Saturday so she’s glad she wasn’t looking at the camera. Zoe agrees that the songs you dance to on this show will haunt you forever, and that’s why she never wants to hear ‘Part-Time Lover’ ever again.
- Jake has not taken Janette for a tour of Albert Square yet.
- Iveta’s cha cha dress didn’t feel as heavy to wear as it did to pick up.
- Craig thinks Thom was a magnificent grinder (or Grindr?).
- When Thom left, Zoe's hubby Norm texted her to say 'sorry for your loss'.
- Thom wants Jake to win.
- Thom and Iveta are “friends forever”, but probably not going on a date.
- Aliona, Tristan, Natalie and Iveta are almost as bad at acting as Pasha is. Almost.
- The reason Joanne got stuck on the floor during the charleston was because Scott was supposed to pick her up and he forgot.
- Joanne got friction burns dancing with Scott last weekend.
- Scott and Joanne stick a pear on the end of an umbrella during training and pretend that it is Craig.
- Scott will be wearing a bald skullcap on Saturday.
- Judy and Anton’s American smooth will apparently involve some “dogography”.
- Judy and Thom were very close because they are both Scottish and sporty.
- Iveta is the best biology teacher we never had.
- Iveta’s amazing training dresses are all designed by Iveta and are all one-of-a-kind. Sorry ladies.
- Natalie prefers traditional music for the tango.  This series' godawful music choices for that dance are doing nothing to prove her wrong.
- David Morrissey is a Caroline fan.
- Caroline thinks Pasha is very strict. Pasha thinks he is justified in this because the show is not called Easy Come Dancing.
- Ian Waite found the samba to be the hardest dance to learn when he was starting out. Presumably because it is HARD FOR THE MEN.
- Ian was surprised at Simon being in the bottom two.  Even though he'd been there before.
- Ian’s dog is a model.
- Mark took everyone to Faces in Essex on Saturday night.
- Harry Styles is Alison's favourite member of Wand Erection.  She is wrong.  (Resentful 4eva!)
- Alison is screaming her head off all the time in the American Smooth. I'd like to see how that goes down with Len.
- Alison and Lisa Riley gave Aljaž a “big-girl sandwich”. He seemed to quite enjoy it.
- Alison needs to relax in Aljaž's arms.  (We'd quite happily relax in... etc etc)
- Zoe has a Kate Bush wig at home.
- Alison feels guilty for still being in the competition because she isn’t as good as Thom.
- Aljaž sucks his cheeks in when he’s nervous. It’s adorable.
- Frankie loves ballroom a lot more than Latin, even though she expected to like Latin more.
- Kevin thinks Steel's is the best fish and chip shop in Grimsby.  Sadly, it is in Cleethorpes.  AGAIN WITH THE BBC LIES.
- If Frankie could dance to any Saturdays song, it would be ‘Issues’. (This is clearly the wrong answer, it should be ‘Notorious’.)
- Zoe’s sparkly vampire teeth top is made of I WANT. (Her mummy dress and skeleton dress are also pretty good)
- Caroline is going to be a ‘disco zombie’.  If this comes back from the dead, we won’t be happy.
- Anton has told Judy they can have as many lifts as they like in their American smooth. These days, that's probably true.
- This show is not beyond putting afros on its white contestants. Cultural appropriation what now?
- Ola is going to have a hair bone on Saturday.
- The Strictly hair and make-up team are not into dressing up for Halloween.
- Iveta now lives under the stairs in the ITT studio and is never leaving. Permanent Iveta can only ever be a good thing.
- Simon's daughter has turned 18 this week but she's too cool to have a big celebration.
- Simon thinks being in the bottom two is like having a fight after school.
- Kristina is very sad about Thom going out. Probably not as sad as she would have been if Simon had gone out, though.
- Zoe wants to call Trent the Milkybar kid.  I am so very sure Trent knows what this is.
- When you leave the show all you want to do is ring up Ian Waite to do an American Smooth on a Saturday night.
- Cat ears on contestants are a Hallowe'en thing, but Pixie is happy to make her face up with whiskers while Sunetra isn't so much.
- For the last twenty-odd years, Sunetra hasn't done anything with her legs.
- Lisa Maxwell's favourite dance ever is Rachel and Vincent's tango.
- In honour of Alfie Boe, Zoe and the crew have been singing 'Bring Him Home' in the studio all day.
- Alfie Boe does, however, know other songs.  According to Alfie Boe.
- Julia Bradbury thinks Caroline Flack could be the new Zoe.  ROBBED in order of someone undeserving?
- Lisa thinks Caroline must have danced before in another life. Yes, it was called Dancing On Wheels.
- The Friday panel of Lisa Maxwell, Julia Bradbury and Alfie Boe don't think it matters what dance Scott and Joanne are doing because you couldn't tell anyway.
-Frankie is going to be fully green on Saturday.
- Lisa Maxwell thinks 'the darker ones' are better at Latin dances.  Must be all that NATURAL RHYTHM #everydayracism
- Julia thinks Judy will be in the bottom two, and Lisa and Alfie think Scott.


Kikishua said...

I just wouls like to say, of the various SCD blogs I read, I particularly appreciate that you cover It Takes Two as well. I often find myself trying to spot the elements you will highlight!

F a t i m a said...

"Thom and Iveta would’ve been doing a paso doble for Hallowe’en, and he was going to be shirtless."

If they'd worked that prospect into their appearance last week, they would have got enough votes to stay in.

Steven said...

Kikushua - Thanks! I once considered recapping ITT every day in full, until I realised that would be actual madness.

Fatima - Also, from the way this weekend went, they would've stood a chance of doing the best paso of the night.