Monday, 3 November 2014

Getting off Scott-free

Top 11 results: 2 November 2014

Last night! The ghost of Donny was exorcised! The judges made a few pretty random decisions and Frankie and Kevin tangoed their way to the top of the leaderboard.

We open with an ethereal pro dance to 'Sweet Dreams' which begins with Janette and Aljaž as Snow White and her contemporary dance lover wafting about until evil queen Kristina sends Snow White to sleep and then seduces Aljaž and Brendan. Then Janette is woken up again by a kiss from Aljaž and all the pros dance about a bit and the narrative thrust of the whole thing gets very lost, which is a shame as I was enjoying Evil! Kristina! and her sexual reign of terror. [If ever there was a role she was born to play... - Steve]

Tess and Zoe emerge among a puff of smoke and pyrotechnics, both wearing witches’ hats. Daly Dresswatch: black top and trews. Ball’s Gowns: also a black top and trews but with a jacket (black as well – I like to think they’re both hat-tipping Claudia).

We welcome the judges, who don’t dance on, and then there’s a recap of last night, involving Frankie not liking things in her ears. Neither does anyone following the Katie Melua story this morning. Brrr.  There isn’t much of note that’s new, except Mark not being able to believe he got three nines. Me neither, Mark.

Tess is with Scott’s mum Sandra and Alison’s mum Maria, presumably because there was a bit of time to fill Scott’s mum is proud and says she loves that he’s working hard. She tells Craig that she doesn’t thinks his marks have reflected how hard Scott is working. [And nor should they, if the result is always bobbins. - Steve] Maria is also proud and thinks Alison’s American Smooth was amazing. More interesting is the bloke sitting next to Zoe who looks like he wants to die the whole time the camera is on him. [Still more interesting: he's kinda hot. - Steve]

Results time! Safe are: Mark and Karen (who goes insane, and then the camera catches Caroline giving excellent ‘bitch, please’ face); Sunetra and Brendan; Frankie and Kevin and Caroline and Pasha.  Scott and Joanne are the first couple in the dance-off. Scott says it’s a shame as it was his best dance tonight, but I think it’s a good a moment as any to send him off – at least it’d be on a positive note. [...of sorts. - Steve]

In the Ball pool, Sunetra says she fully expected to be in the dance-off this week and is very surprised not to be. Frankie says everyone has been taking the mickey out of them for only having a Donny 10 so she’s happy to have a real one. Zoe then calls the seating area ‘the Clauditorium’ which I am taking as a total shout-out to this blog (and to PetMonkey on DS for suggesting it). Hi Zoe! Oh yeah, and Mark is happy to be safe how exciting.

We now have a guest performance from Annie Lennox, doing a cover of ‘I Put A Spell On You’ that involves her wearing what looks like a clown costume and doing some very, very odd dancing. I have a soft spot for Annie Lennox because: the Eurythmics, obviously, but this is really embarrassing - a poor song choice done boringly with awful costuming and dad-dancing. We don’t even get any pro dancers to distract us and I think we really needed it.

Zoe chooses not to break with tradition and keep Len’s Lens as a thing. Oh, Zoe, you could have broken with tradition, we really wouldn’t have objected. Under scrutiny: Jake’s shaping, involving Len and Darcy demonstrating and Darcey’s stalking around causing Bruno to collapse in a fit of lust. Zoe: ‘is he always like this?’ Everyone else, sighing, ‘yes’. Heh. Craig explains that his problem with Caroline’s dance was that it needed to be more chaotic and Len gets all hot and bothered about Mark who ‘puts the sex in Essex’.  This episode is giving me the chills.

More results!  Safe are: Pixie and Trent; Jake and Janette; Judy and Anton (which presumably means Scott is a cert to go home?); Simon and Kristina – he takes a moment to register this; Steve and Ola. Alison and Aljaž are in the bottom two and she looked like she was expecting that throughout them calling the names out.

Tess points out her mum is there too – CURSE OF THE MUMMIES. [Seriously. Thom's mum was there last week, and Natalie's mum was there the week before. Disinvite your mums, everyone! - Steve] In retrospect, Zoe and Tess being accompanied by them in their intro last night was some foreshadowing, wasn’t it? Alison is glad her mum’s there as it gives her support.

In the Ball pool, Judy thanks everyone for voting for her as she knows she’s the worst dancer. Simon thanks people for sticking by him and Steve and Zoe point out that his and Ola’s skeleton make-up means it’s hard to see their expressions. Zoe says she’s not sure she likes Jake getting criticism. He says he’s fine with it and is looking forward to their rumba next week. Zoe gets all bothered by the thought of ‘snake hips doing the rumba’. 

Tess is with the bottom two couples and Alison says she thinks Scott is lovely and he works really hard. Aljaž thinks it is too early to go but reminds us he was in the dance-off with Abbey at Hallowe’en last year as well. Tess says that Scott works hard and asks how he feels about dancing again. He says he’s had a brilliant time, made a new best friend and thinks this is his best friend so will be happy if he goes out on a high. Joanne says Scott is like another big brother to her and they’re happy to have got as far as they have.

Alison and Aljaž are first to dance. The dance has the same issue as the first time in that there’s so much fabric it’s hard to see what’s actually going on – at one point this is literally true for Aljaž when a rogue flap of fabric entirely covers his head. It’s camp as Christmas though and has a lot of energy – and Alison looks like she’s enjoying herself. Scott and Joanne’s routine remains quite fun but seems more laboured and clumsy than first time round (especially a bit where he seems to get stuck on the floor), although that may be simply that on first viewing it was so much better than his previous efforts it was easier to overlook its problems.

Craig saves the couple who ‘threw the kitchen sink’ at the routine: Alison and Aljaž. Darcey saves them because of their added flourishes. Bruno thanks both couples for ramping up the fun factor but saves ‘the white tornado’ of Alison and Aljaž. Len didn’t agree with the other judges because even though both dances were fun he would have gone for the one with foxtrot in it. [Oh, LEN. *pinches bridge of nose* - Steve] Scott says the experience has been the most fun he’s ever had. Given he looked like he was being tortured the whole time, one can only worry about how awful the rest of his life has been. I feel like we need to give Scott some sort of fun intervention to make him smile more, the poor lamb. 

They dance out to ‘Another One Bites The Dust’ to a standing ovation – when all the remaining couples come on the floor, Janette basically runs to Aljaž to snog his face off. Someone’s worried about Alison’s sexual magnetism, huh? Kevin will miss Scott. Alison knows she and Aljaž need to up their game. Caroline says she’s relieved to get through because she thought she might be in the dance-off although she doesn’t know why (I do, we’re due some ZOMG!SHOCK BOOTS!) and Anton promises he and Judy doing the same routine every week. If only I didn’t actually think he was being serious there. Next week: ten couples remain, and Steve will be back to recap the fun!


F a t i m a said...

Alison's dance reminded me of a French & Saunders sketch

Rad said...

Which can only ever be a good thing.