Week 4: Top 13 Perform - 18 October 2015
Last week! That jive! (No, not
that one. Or
that one.) Also, the
first of our theme weeks (but unlikely to be the last) as everyone went to the
movies and Anthony and Oti were kicked out for throwing popcorn everywhere
(/having a bad shoulder).
Tonight! They still haven’t let ‘the Strictly’ die, at least
going by the continuity announcer. It’s almost as if what a couple of strangers
bitch about on the Internet doesn’t matter to these people, isn’t it?
We then have a very random pre-credits VT about how all the
celebrities are wanted for crimes against dance or something, yet Anton is
nowhere to be seen, so presumably he’s gotten away with it yet again. [Presumably due to an absence of pesky kids. - Steve] Cue
credits! Jay really did look different before he morphed into Bri/yan McFadden
and Michael Ball’s love child didn’t he?
Tess and Claudia arrive on the arms of Kevin and Aljaž. Daly Dresswatch: black, with some odd slips
cut through it and patched up with lace. Put it this way, if you presented that
on the Sewing Bee, you’d be in danger of going home, unless the judges were
having one of their random weeks where they praise things that are clearly
awful for being ‘genius’. What Winkleman’s wearing: a nice enough black/navy
all in one, would slightly uncomfortable shoulder pads in the capped sleeves
that make it slightly strange. Oh well, they’d been doing great for a couple of
weeks, they can have one bad one. The judges then enter, doing the stupid thing
which we will not dignify by giving it a name. I heard it’s a bit like Poltergeist and if you say it in the mirror three times…
We welcome our stars: Kellie and Kevin; Anita and Gleb;
Daniel and Kristina; Katie and Anton; Ainsley and Natalie; Helen and Aljaž;
Georgia and Giovanni; Jamelia and Tristan; Peter and Janette; Carol and Pasha;
Jay and Aliona; Brendan and Kirsty. Still a fair bit of bopping to the theme
tune, well done everyone. I’m intrigued by some of the outfits we’ve got on
display for a non-themed week: Daniel and Kristina as flight attendants, Helen
as a naughty nurse, Pasha as a Matador, Jamelia without the electric shock hair
that they’ve been doing for her.
The first couple of the evening are Anita and Gleb. We
relive the ‘Gleb Special’ from last week and he seems very pleased with it,
despite its entirely random nature. This week, we are reminded of the Children
in Need roots of the show as they go to a fund raising event, full of people
wearing Pudsey bear hats. This week it’s Countryfile that Anita is the
presenter of, and the sponsored event is some sort of walk around the park and
then they try and teach everyone the samba, but fail.
They are dancing to 'Hips Don’t Lie', and we open with Anita
standing above a big speaker, whilst Gleb acts as a DJ. Then there’s quite an
exciting jump into his arms, which they both just about pull off and Anita does
a decent job of shimmying the samba. However, have what I can only describe as
a reverse Gleb special, where he does some weird crablike movement on his back,
before he stops pissing about and start actually doing the dance. God knows
what’s going on with him, but I can see more spats with the judges. Oh how
exciting I can’t wait. Overall, this is quite a fun routine once Gleb stops mucking
about. It has a lot of sass and sexiness, and although Anita sometimes is
pulling funny faces, it kind of fits with the mood of the dance and it’s not
too off-putting. She could probably go a little bit further with hip wiggles, and
there were a couple of places where it looks like they fumbled, but she’s
clearly a capable mover and she looks nice with the hair extensions they’ve
given her. In a move for more populism, Gleb opens his shirt as well.
Tess thanks the singers, naming them each again, and then
Dave Arch as an afterthought. Someone’s contract renegotiations went better
than someone else’s.
Len says that it took some getting started, but once they
got going they coped well. He says she could have been a bit sharper in her
feet and there was one bit where she went wrong, but overall it was a good
dance. Tess asks if it’s a party he’d like Bruno would like to gatecrash and he
says he usually likes to come late to the party (why are we not surprised?),
and it was starting to warm up, but there were some places where she got a bit
tangled and it stilted the dance a little bit, so it ended a bit on and off.
Anita says she was having the time of her life. Craig says he can see what
Bruno was saying and she did need more spotting technique, but her isolation was
excellent and he loves that she just comes out and goes for it. Darcey says her
determination and focus really show and she’s worked very hard on the
isolations. She says they are missing a flow but she was distracted by Gleb
(oh, Darcey).
In the Clauditorium, Claudia has covered up with a silky
blue shirt like Gleb. To be honest, it’s better than the shoulder pad thing she
had going on earlier. Scores: six, seven, seven, seven for a total of 27. Anita
calls that a solid score. Claudia then rips her shirt open to read the terms and
conditions, mocking Gleb, before he returns the mocking by ripping his own
fully off and dragging Claudia into a three-way sandwich with him and Anita.
Not wanting to miss any of the action, Brendan turns up with a pile of sausages.
God I thought that this week’s
Apprentice
was full of filth.
Daniel and Kristina are next and Tess makes some comment
about them being an air steward and pilot, and then offering cashew nuts to the
two women sitting either side of her. I think that was meant to be some kind of
a joke? Who knows, Tess humour is a surreal beast at best.
The VT, replete with random Tess commentary exclaiming "I
can’t wait to see what Daniel is going to fly", sees him flying in a plane
simulator. That looks like a hell of a lot of fun. I mean, it does nothing for
dance preparation, but it was probably still more useful VT than 50% of them.
There are dancing an American Smooth to 'Fly Me To The Moon'.
I can’t believe that they chose this song and only had them dressing as airline
crew, not astronauts. Strictly costumers, what were you thinking? The aeroplane
theme is fairly brief, really just their costumes and them arriving with
suitcases, the rest of the time it’s a fairly lovely old school number, and
Daniel even manages a half smile throughout, which suggests that he is probably
absolutely loving it, as am I, well, a bit. Although it might not be the most
ambitiously choreographed routine ever, Kristina always brings it in her
American Smooths, because she really has that Hollywood glamour thing down pat,
and so she sells it by virtue of her performance and movements, that more than
makes up for any deficiencies in Daniel’s footwork (he does a much
better job than I would have imagined he could) although, I have to admit I was
watching her rather than him, which is probably not the point. Still, she's Ms Charisma [Kharisma? - Steve] and he's... Daniel. There are even a
few lifts that he manages to pull off successfully. Again, not extravagant
lifts, but a decent job.
Bruno says it had some mid routine turbulence, although I
didn’t really see that. It was perhaps a little unspectacular, but it kept
going. His next comment makes more sense, in that he calls it premium economy,
i.e. it was solid, but didn’t contain many surprises or much sparkle. Craig
says that Daniel has great musicality, but he needs to take more risks and put
more swing and sway into his movements as there are a little straightforward.
Tess prompts him to acknowledge that the lifts were great and he says that’s
true. Darcey says it was seamless in terms of the lifts and they all worked,
but he could use the music more to calm his nerves and feel what’s going on
with it. Len says Daniel is too worried that he might go wrong and he needs to go
through it a bit more, rather than holding back, but he loves watching him
because he has a charm about him. Ah, I thought it was quite sweet, given how
well blokes of a certain age do (or not) on the show.
In the Clauditorium,
Kristina talks about how Daniel can do it and how much she is proud of him. I
am actually weirdly loving this pairing. I thought she might have not built
into it as much as she does with younger partners, but she seems pretty happy
overall. Perhaps she’s just heard about the size of his fan base. Scores: five,
six, six, six for a total of 23. Daniel says he was happy and even if he goes
home, he’s proud - plus he knows how to fly home now. Bless. Claudia then makes a very surreal joke about a Georgia dancing with a guitar with
no handle turning out to be a harp. Who knows?
Kirsty and Brendan are the third couple of the evening. Last
week, they drew the short straw and had to dress up as dogs, so pretty much
anything they do this week will be more dignified. As they are dancing the paso doble this week, their VT centres around Brendan forcing Kirsty to make him
paella. I think that’s bordering on domestic abuse, but I suppose it’s still
better than James Jordan and Georgia.
There are dancing to U2's 'Beautiful Day', which is
pretty much the least appropriate paso music I’ve heard on this show in a long
time (almost as ridiculous as the tango music they used last year). Because of the
music choice, the dance doesn’t really look that much like a Paso either. There
just isn’t enough staccato in it and instead it’s a bit of a parade of whirling
and gurning. Some of the jumps and turns look quite good, although for much of
the dance, Kirsty is looking at Brendan desperately to make sure that they’re
doing it right. It ends with a very strange pose in which she curls
herself around his ankle. Brendan gives one of his ‘good girl’s at the end, in
full dog training mode, so I guess it went at least partly to plan. I blame the
song choosers for that as much as anything, though, because it was just weird. [Brendan has since admitted on Twitter he chose the song himself. OH BRENDAN. - Steve]
Craig says it had as much shape as a broomstick. When she
was in his arms, the shaping appeared, but disappeared when they danced on
their own. He says he can see that she was really trying though and he
appreciates it. Darcey says her increased confidence are showing and there was
a physical physicality to this stance. Oh, Darcey. Len says it was like a
paella, tasty in places but with some 'funny bits floating abaht'. Bruno says
there wasn’t enough shaping, which is true, but the music didn’t lend itself to
that, so she was always on to a losing streak with it. Kirsty also points out
how inappropriate the song was, although by saying it’s not an aggressive song,
rather than the fact that it’s a completely stupid choice for Paso, which it
was.
In the Clauditorium, Claudia points out that it’s a
difficult balance because it requires you to be aggressive and soft in
different places. Brendan says she had the right energy and focus on her head,
which was a massive improvement. Kirsty says she is enjoying it more and it
isn’t as hard as it was at the beginning. Scores: four, six, six, five for a
total of 21. Kirsty says it’s the same as last week. Brendan says no, sadly
not. I love how invested she is in her scores! In the background, Jeremy looks
sad. Such a camera whore.
Georgia and Giovanni are next. Last week they managed to
dance to that god-awful new Bond theme and that, in itself, is probably a cause
for celebration. This week, Giovanni decides that Georgia needs to put more bounce in her step, so he takes her trampolining. Unsurprisingly, she is super
excited at this, and the place he takes her to is so flipping bizarre-looking.
It’s like this whole sea of trampolines rising up to the wall. I guess this is
the thing, but I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life. (Look, I
come from Grimsby, I’m culturally backwards, okay?)
Their quickstep is to ‘Reach’, and, for some reason unbeknownst
to anyone, they are angels or something. She starts sitting on a cloud with a
harp, before he Gabriels his way over to her to take her for a dance. No, no
idea. It takes a while for the dance to get into proper quickstep, starting out
as just a generic ballroom twirling, but once it does it’s quite fun. Then
Georgia starts to lose the rhythm and it starts to look really messy and
uncomfortable, although they never stop, which is at least something. After the
side-by-side bit, which is okay, they return to hold and it’s more coordinated,
but I think the song is probably just a little bit too fast for somebody at
this stage of the competition to cope with, and it showed in her lack of
precision - although she did really well to keep up with it and not let the
mistakes show too much overall. Then somebody opens party poppers all over the
stage and they get practically strangled by them.
Darcey says she is a dream to watch and the dance was sweet,
crisp and light and really suited them. She says she’s pleased that Georgia was
working on making sure she didn’t break her neck. I would hope so, Darcey. She
says she gave an incredibly impressive performance. Len says she did lose her
neck near the end, but he brings out from drab to fab comments, which I’m
guessing is referring to the song choice more than anything else. He’s pleased
that she kept the contact throughout and enjoyed some of the moves between
different steps. In the audience, Jake Wood stares at them with a look that I
can’t understand, but probably means, ‘wait until your Greekentine tango’. Or ‘I know you really killed Lucy’. Or
something. So inscrutable. Bruno says she has to maintain performance,
energy and steps all the way through, but it was still a good performance.
Craig praises her for flying around the floor but says her top line could have
been quieter and that she should smile in the dance because she had a face of
thunder throughout it [someone accidentally picked up the script he was supposed to use for Carol - Steve], but he liked it very very much.
They arrive on the Clauditorium full of glee, and Giovanni says
he just wanted to do a basic thing to please Len. Scores: seven, seven, nine,
eight for a total of 31.
The next couple of the evening are Jeremy and Karen. Last
week, they did Charleston-thingy and it was kind of well-received, except by
Craig, of course. And Steve, who couldn’t fathom what it was meant to be. Cue a
comedy VT in their prep for the jive, as Karen takes Jeremy to a swimming pool
in Victorian bathing gear to prepare for their 1930s routine and makes him kick
underwater. No, I have no idea what that was all about. However, Karen looked
just like Andy Pandy, so that’s… something? [Say what you like about this show but no fetish is too niche to go uncatered-for. - Steve]
They are dancing to ‘Splish Splash’ by Bobby Darin.
And we open with Karen pulling open the shower curtain to reveal a fully closed
Jeremy showering in invisible water. It still makes more sense narratively than
that library themed thing they did last week. He clearly has enthusiasm, but is
lacking a great deal in the precision of the movement. However, as we all know,
jive is hard for tall people, so we shouldn’t be surprised, should we? It kind
of does its thing for a while and there is then some very ill-advised floor
movement/breakdancing/I don’t know what. They get up again, for some
ill-advised air guitar and some scary pelvic thrusts and it’s obviously not great,
but he does have an okay sense of rhythm, despite his kindliness and general
and coordination. Quite fun music for the jive, though, I’ll give it that.
Len says he’s consistently not the best dancer, but he is
the most fun to watch. In the audience, Dave Myers glares daggers at him for
stealing his shtick. Bruno calls him an artist of questionable technique he
manages to put things together in an unusual way to make him up there with
Tracey Emlyn. Has she got a contract with all this year’s reality shows or
something? Craig says it was like watching a stork that had been struck by
lightning, and this causes Karen to break out into hysterics. Darcey says she
finds it quite inspiring and this makes Karen even more hysterical. She says he
makes a dance his own, and the whole audience laugh at this. She reminds us it’s
difficult with his legs and his feet were sloppy, but he was entertaining. In
the Clauditorium, Jeremy says he’s never appeared on TV in a
shower cap before. Karen says she loves that he makes her smile. Scores: three,
six, six, five for a total of 20.
Kellie and Kevin are next, and it appears that neither Tess
nor the scriptwriters have ever seen an episode of EastEnders, because they
make a joke about the routine being based on Kellie’s grandparents’ wedding, and
how this is nothing like an EastEnders wedding, because in an EastEnders
wedding, the bride runs off with the best man and there’s a punch-up in the car
park. I have been watching EastEnders for a large part of its 30 years on air
and I don’t recall ever seeing a car park in the vicinity of Albert square -
and whilst many a wedding has ended in disaster, I’m struggling to put my
finger on one where the bride has run off with the best man. BBC in-house
promotions, huh? [All EastEnders weddings now end with the entire bridal party getting shivved by Bobby Beale, fact. - Steve] Speaking of in-house
promotions, I paused my DVR at the stills of them in the credits, to notice
that they are surrounded by what looked to be Weeping Angels. Brrr.
Last week, they did a hilarious charleston with a Star Wars theme,
which is one of the weirdest, but most fun dances I’ve seen on this show. This
week they have the foxtrot and Kellie says the song Dream A Little Dream reminds
her of her grandparents, who met at a dance. She then shows Kevin cine footage
of her grandparents. Hey, it’s a new take on baby wars at any rate.
It has a very sweet opening, all coyness and hesitancy, and
well controlled. I’m not sure the super rolled up hair does much for Kelly, and
Kevin’s waistcoat is way too tight [his trousers, however, are not too tight because they never can be - Steve], both of which slightly detract from
proceedings, but the tone of the dance is generally quite sweet. Her skirt
covers her knees, but it looks to me as though they’re not bending quite as
sharply as they could be, and the choreography is possibly a little simple in
places, although I suppose for the first dance theme that makes sense. Overall,
it was a sweet little thing, but probably not that memorable or spectacular. I
liked it though.
Tess said she made the foxtrot look really easy, which is
true, that or the choreography. Bruno said it had a really retro feel and it
was like watching a BBC Four documentary. Okay, Bruno. Craig says he loved her
finger placement and thought it was confident, clean and smooth. Darcey again
compliments the confidence, but reminds her to extend her neck. Len says it was
lovely. Tess congratulates them on being on a bit of a roll, and they scoot up
to the Clauditorium, where Kellie promptly loses her shit, which is quite funny
after watching a very restrained dance. Scores: eight, eight, eight, eight for
a total of 32, which Kellie can’t quite believe. Kevin unbuttons his waistcoat,
to reveal that his shirt and trousers are similarly tight.
Jamelia and Tristan are next and dancing to a song by Paula
Abdul, who, Tess tells us, is Jamelia’s all-time favourite singer. That…
reveals quite a lot about her persona. They are dancing the charleston to 'Straight Up'. I can’t imagine. However, they do get a lovely video call from
Paula and her dog hoping that Jamelia is the strong and confident woman Paula
knows she is (i.e., she has no idea). Paula Abdul for Strictly 2016, anyone?
The rehearsal footage doesn’t show a great deal of promise, so they could be
goners this week unless the performance is a lot better.
They open by playing on a Test Your Love machine, where
they’re not receiving a hot result. The arrangement of the music to fit charleston rhythm is quite weird, but in a way works. The execution of the
dance is much better than the rehearsal footage led me to believe, as Jamelia
(wearing a black bobbed wig, rather than the electrified hair she had the last
two weeks) seems to be really enjoying herself in the performance and the lack
of precision needed suits her more than some of the other dances. There’s a
decent backward roll over Tristan as well. The choreography isn’t the most
exciting we’ve ever seen in Charleston, mainly relying on a few moves, rather
than using a range. However, what it lacked in ambition it made up for in
competence, as it was easily her best dance of the series. [Also the first one that wasn't choreographed by Tristan. *sips tea* - Steve]
Craig said he liked the Josephine Baker birdy flap step and her
swivel action and thought she’d come into her own with that dance. Darcey says
her stamina has really improved and it was really stylish. Len says it was her
best to dance (with knobs on, because his mind is a place of nothing but
filth). Bruno compliments her for improving so much. Claudia tells Paula Abdul
that her dog looks like a gremlin. Guessing dark Lord (our Claud) is a cat
person? Scores: eight, eight, eight, eight for a total of 32. Now, I enjoyed
that, don’t get me wrong, but it got 32 and Anita and Gleb’s much more
ambitious charleston routine didn’t come close to that (even with the mistakes,
it had a lot more going on). Hey ho,
such as the way of Strictly, and I’m really pleased for Jamelia that she did
well, so I’ll let it slide.
We then cut to a
random skit where Aljaž pretends to be a doctor checking Claudia’s chest and
Tess says he’s not really a doctor to which Claudia says she’s not really a
patient. Somewhere, some men’s rights activists are up in arms about this, I’m
sure. [On the DS forums, probably, they were already fumin' over that thing with Gleb and the handcuffs the other week. - Steve]
Next: Jay and Aliona. We are reminded of last week, where
they danced the best dance ever (that doesn’t get 40). This week, Aliona is
taking him to his old school where he is welcomed by a bunch of girls with a
single A4 paper sign saying "welcome Jay and Aliona". Nice pushing out of the
boat there, school. They then speak to a very small number of children in an
assembly hall. For some reason, a handful of them aren’t wearing school
uniform. I hope they all got detention.
Their quickstep is to 'My Generation' and opens with them both
as sexy graduates taking a selfie. There’s no colour on the robes, I guess
Strictly University hasn’t got a very good contract with Ede and Ravenscroft.
The dance starts out of hold for a while, and the side-by-side bits look quite
fun. Jay’s hair has grown massively yet again, by next week it’s going to be
back to its week one length at this rate. However, once they get into hold,
the dance loses a little something. Jay tends to veer into just running around in
a circle for parts of it, rather than really concentrating on the steps. Then
there’s a slip, although he manages to recover from it okay. Going on this and
last week’s evidence, I suspect he is probably one of those dancers who feels
more comfortable out of hold than in it, which is going to prove very
interesting when they do the rumba. Good song choice though.
Darcey said it was a shame that he made a mistake and Jay nods. She says she got really excited when he started off because she thought
this would be his dance again like last week, but the mistakes were sad,
although he did compose himself when he made them. She says Aliona did give him
a very challenging piece of choreography and he thinks he’ll come back stronger
next week. Len says again that it was a shame, but these things happen and it
was a fast dance. However, he thought his feet tried to do more than his brain could
handle. Ouch. He says if he’s going to do ballroom again (if?) he needs to
watch his placement. Bruno says in theory it should have been a barnstormer, but
there were issues, including his bum and his take off, because it comes out
like he’s like a gazelle in flight, but then crash lands. Craig says there were
just too many mistakes, sadly.
As they arrive in the Clauditorium, his hair looks like it’s
about to mutate into an overflowing forest. Aliona looks up at it and scowls. I
think he might be a reverse Samson. Aliona says he had it down in rehearsals,
it was just one of those things that it went wrong on the day. Scores: five,
seven, six, seven for a total of 25. Claudia says he seemed pretty happy with
those scores and asks if he thought it would be worse. He says yes, even five
seemed solid and he couldn’t believe he got seven. There’s a lot of hugging and
kissing between him and Aliona. Start those Digital Spy threads now! (Who am I
kidding, they probably started before the show even began)
Carol and Pasha now. Pasha is dressed as a Matador, whilst
Carol has a black doily slapped all over her head, making her look a little bit
like Servalan from Blake’s 7. Last week, Carol was excited to be opening
the show, but then they got the judges’ comments. She just wants the judges to
say she’s made an improvement. Oh Carol, don’t you know that’s how your reality
storyline is going to go? You will make an improvement and then have a
dignified exit. Such is the way of dancers with your narrative arc. In
preparation for their paso, Pasha takes her to a flamenco club and he does his
best comedy VT face as she goes missing from him to get up and dance with the
dance on stage. The best part is when he tries to tell her that she did an
amazing job. Pasha’s commitment to comedy VTs remains adorable.
They’ve gone with more traditional Paso music this week (sadly,
though, it’s Espana Cani yet again-the fifth time it’s been used). Pasha is in
traditional Matador garb, with Carol in a black dress with gold fringing, that
suits her. She does a reasonable job at keeping the mood of the dance in her
face, although her shaping is somewhat imprecise and not strong enough for the
dance. However, her movements and pace are much improved. I think part of the
problem is that it’s difficult to take her seriously as a Paso dancer when
she’s that smiley whether woman off the telly. Overall, I think she acquitted
herself quite well. Who would have thought that Paso would be her breakthrough
dance? [If you'd told me at the start of the series that Carol Kirkwood would do a better paso than Kirsty Gallacher, I'd have told you to get out of town, but here we are. - Steve]
Tess is stunned that Carol actually did well. Len says her
personality is a bit too sunny for the Paso, but she got out there and into
character and went for it, so well done. Bruno says it needs more passion and
aggression, and her face looks more like it had a toothache. To Carol, that’s
basically her 'the world is caving in' face, I would expect. Bruno says she needs
to be more sexy and make it clear that she wants Pasha and she’s going to get
him. Poor Rachel Riley. Craig says it’s the first time he’s seen her body
really engaging in dance and it showed a different side to her. He thought there
were tensions in her body where there needed to be but she needs to work on her
hands and put more shaping incident, however well done. Darcey really enjoyed
it and said her storytelling was clear. There is times where she needs to shape
and empower her body more, but more dancing will give a stronger core she
needs.
Claudia says that when Len was being critical, Gleb shouted
"no, that’s not right". Bless. In the background, Oti sees the cameras on her so
claps for it. Scores: five, six, six, five for a total of 22. I probably would
have given that sixes all round (yes, I know that’s not how judging works), but
a decent showing for them.
Ainsley and Natalie next. Last week they had a disco penguin
cha cha and ended up in the bottom two, as well you might if you had something
that bizarre. Ainsley said he was glad to be in the dance off because he had
another opportunity to put his dance right, and he’s excited to be doing the
waltz because it’s another part of the journey. In training, Natalie puts a
device on him that looks a bit like bike handlebars, to get his frame correct.
This makes for a comedy VT, in which he can’t eat or get through doors, so has
to rely on Natalie force-feeding him berries. Ainsley decides he wants the
frame sewing into his jacket on Saturday. Heh.
They are dancing to 'What A Wonderful World', and that the
lighting is all pink and flowery and romantic, to aid the mood. This appears to
be the night for quite sweet and romantic dances, because this is another of
those. At one point, a load of glitter foil flows around them like the silver
and gold tokens on The Crystal Maze, but that doesn’t faze them and they keep
going. Probably for the best, if they’d caught the tokens, the best they could
have hoped for would have been a paragliding weekend or something.
Bruno says he could really see the concentration in
Ainsley’s footwork but he has to be careful not to look like he’s directing
traffic and make sure that he has a real flow in his lines. Craig said his
frame was really good at the start, although it went a bit towards the end as
they termed, but he enjoyed it overall. Darcey says she enjoyed it as well and
he has a real charm that showed he thought about complementing Natalie. The
boys are right (drink) that he needs to relax and shoulders and neck. Len says
when you get fearful you can shrugging your shoulders, so he needs to concentrate
on dealing with that, and that’s to hold never changes no matter what dance
you’re doing, so you need to keep on it. However, he thinks the waltz
eliminates any mistakes, and didn’t see any. In the Clauditorium, they’re both very happy. Scores: six,
seven, seven, six for a total of 26.
Helen and Aljaž are next, even though I was sure this show
should be over by now. They are both dressed in naughty doctors and nurses
outfits-you know, the kind that looked nothing like the outfits real doctors or
nurses were. [Helen looks like she is cosplaying Sexy Nurse Joy From The Pokémon Anime and I LIVE for it. - Steve] Their VT focuses on Helen’s fear of lifts, so he decides to take
up The Shard (insert pun here). He greets her at the top of the lift with a
sign saying she faced the biggest lift in Britain and she says that’s not the
kind of lift she’s scared of. Oh God, comedy VTs. [Seriously. That wouldn't have been worth it even if Aljaž had been shirtless. - Steve]
They open in a very similar position to the medical themed
Charleston Louis and Flavia did, with one by a screen and one on a desk.
They’re dancing the salsa to 'Dr Beat' and soon Helen removes her nursey hat and Aljaž
his doctor coat, so that’s the end of the theme. She just doesn’t look sexy
enough to pull off this dance, as she has quite a cute grin throughout.
However, her frame isn’t bad at all, and they attempt some interesting lifts.
It’s all slightly undermined by her face saying less ‘look at the good party
time I’m having’ and more ‘how ridiculous do I look?’ Still, she has a point.
And then they end with a very impressive move where Aljaž flips over his arm
and catches her under it that seems to defy the laws of physics somehow.
Craig says he’d like to see her earth the grind a little bit
more. Keep your kinks to yourself, Revel Horwood. However, he thinks is an incredible dancer.
She looks like she’s about to have a full-scale panic attack at this. Darcey
says well done on the last left and its fab to see a naughty side to Helen. She
says if Helen wants more confidence in lifts, she has to get more plié and bend near
her knees. Len tells us he’s having a knee op, but he wants to go to their
hospital so that Aljaž can fling him around and he will be back next week, but we will be seeing his crutch. Eww. Bruno loved it, because of course he did.
In the Clauditorium, Claudia points out that Helen is
covered in bruises. Glamorous. Helen says they’ve laughed all the way through
the week and it’s been her favourite week so far. Apparently they play
characters each week: Aljaž is always called Roger, whilst Helen’s changes each
week – Lolita (erm…… #familyfriendly #postyewtree), Marilyn... Scores: eight,
eight, eight, eight for a total of 32. I see Katie behind them and realise that, not only have we
got one more dance to go, there must be more than that, otherwise Katie and
Anton would be getting ready to dance. Bugger.
For some reason, when I forget a couple, it’s always these
two: Peter and Janette. Tess reminds us that Peter has been at the top of the
leaderboard a lot, but last time Jay beat him. Year of the man! Last week they
did a ridiculous pirate paso so pretty much anything this week is going to be
an improvement. Hey you guys, guess what? Peter’s been busy! Oh how I love
that narrative. His wife comes to training because it’s the only way she’ll get
to see him. Boring VT is boring.
What isn’t boring is that they’re dancing the Tango to 'Blue
Monday'. I’m not sure how appropriate the music is for the dance, but I still
like the fact that this song is being used for something. I’m sure Steve will
pop up here to remind me of some obscure week three dance by a long forgotten
contender that used this music. [Nope, I got nothin'. - Steve] There is some fun with a table and playing
cards at the start and halfway through, which is one of the best uses of a prop
table in a few years (no, I don’t count Robin and Deborah’s prop table as being
used well) but other than that, Peter doesn’t really seem to have this dance
down. His movements are a bit sloppy and his face is over-earnest (of course it
is, it’s Peter Andre), and he seems to make a few mistakes. I mean, it’s more
competent than, say, Jeremy could manage, but it feels quite sloppy and
under-rehearsed overall.
Tess says 'Blue Monday' is her and Claudia’s favourite song of all
time. Romantic! Darcey says the beginning was brilliant and that Janette uses
him to his best in the choreography. She liked the staccato and thinks his eyes
really sell the dance. Len said it had plenty of snapping it which he uses as
upon to relate to the cards they were playing, rather than a comment on the
dance. He says sometimes Peter has a tendency to over dance, but he didn’t do
that tonight. He says Peter had a couple
of dodgy weeks, but is back. Bruno says although there were some mistakes, he
still liked the drive that Peter has. Craig says it was sharp, there was great
staccato and it was everything they wanted. I guess, like with a few dances
this series, I’m just missing something here. I genuinely loved the bits at the
table, but the rest of it I could take or leave.
In the Clauditorium, Peter shouts out his beautiful wife and
his brother, who’s wearing a hat, presumably in tribute to The Man in the Hat,
whom he slightly resembles. Scores: eight, eight, eight, eight for a total of
32. That’s a lot of 32s tonight. Claudia tells in their joint top of the
leaderboard with some other couples. Peter gives her a hug and then he says he forgot she doesn't like hugs, to which Claudia replies that no, she just doesn't like humans. Seems legit.
Claudia tells us that, finally, we have one couple left to
dance. It’s Anton and Katie, and his attire suggests it’s ballroom, so that’s
presumably going to go well for them unlike Latin. Katie says she hopes their
cha cha last week was their blip. Oh, Katie, have you never seen Anton’s Latin? If you think a cha-cha was bad, just wait until you get a samba or a salsa.
This week she brings her daughters to training. Her older daughter confirms that
she has embarrassed them, but she says it’s exciting to watch them on TV every
week. She says they looked quite stiff in their rehearsals. Katie’s older
daughter then dances with Anton and Katie and her younger daughter give them
both tens. Anton says that’s the first 10 he’s had in strictly. The older
daughter looks at him witheringly and says ‘tragic’. Katie’s elder daughter for
head judge please.
They are dancing the Viennese waltz to 'If I Can Dream', and it's actually kind of insane in its whirliness. We don’t get to see much of Katie’s footwork to tell how
she’s doing, although I would feel remarkably sick if I would being spun round
at that pace. By the spins at the end, she looks like it’s a bit too much for
her as well. However, I think it was a brave choice and then to go for
something that fast and I think she did a good job, from what the camera would
let me see.
Len says he didn’t think should be able to pull it off
because there was so much in it, and he watches the hands so much, because
sometimes they cling, but she kept it light and it was a lot better than last
week. Bruno says the ladies definitely made for turning. He says it’s
an incredible turnaround from last week. What, a master ballroom dancer who
sucks at Latin pulls out a terrible cha-cha but a good waltz? Colour me
shocked. Craig says she did really well to manage such a demanding dance in
just a week, and Darcey says it was incredible.
In the Clauditorium, Katie says it’s the nicest set of
comments ever. Scores: eight, nine, eight, eight for a total of 33. Is this the
first time Anton has ever topped the leaderboard? [Nope - he last topped the leaderboard in week four with Laila Rouass in series 7, and he topped it previously with Lesley and Patsy as well. - Steve] It may well be the last. I
still don’t think he has a chance of winning, because: Latin, but if he does,
at least it will put that god-awful will Anton ever win storyline to bed and
kill it for ever and ever. And maybe he will retire. Also: I miss Erin.
Shall we have a leaderboard?
Katie and Anton 33
Kellie and Kevin 32
Jamelia and Tristan 32
Helen and Aljaž 32
Peter and Janette 32
Georgia and Giovanni 31
Anita and Gleb 27
Ainsley and Natalie 26
Jay and Aliona 25
Daniel and Kristina 23
Carol and Pasha 22
Kirsty and Brendan 21
Jeremy and Karen 20
So, that’s an interesting turn of events, with a few people’s
scores being turned completely on their heads and a four-way pile up to second place. I think it’s going to be difficult to call the bottom two this week, but
I’d be very surprised if Kirsty and Brendan weren’t in it. There’s a recap, and
we still have far too many couples in the game to be recapping the recaps. See you tomorrow for Will Young and someone going home!
