Friday, 14 October 2016

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- The tweets about Tameka leaving make it sound like she’s died.
- Tameka is going to try and slip some cha cha cha into EastEnders.
- Tameka is disappointed she didn’t do a cha cha or a rumba. Possibly the first person ever who is sad they didn’t get to do a rumba?
- Tameka’s a tissue-under-each-eye-when-crying kind of lady.
- Gorka is going to keep dancing. Isn’t that usually the celeb’s line?
- Lesley’s rehearsal wig looked like that time Monica in Friends was made over to look like Dudley Moore.
- Ore managed to eat loads of glitter in rehearsing their dance.
- Louise has always wanted to have crimped hair [Curls, Steve. Do we need to revoke your superfan status? – Rad] [I never claimed to be a fan of 80s hairstyles! - Steve]
 - Gorka pinned Aljaž to the wall and handcuffed him. WHAT? WE’RE JUST REPORTING WHAT HAPPENED.
- Brendan is a gentle giant.
- Anastacia thought they were the ‘bottom feeders’ and was planning what steps to improve on in the dance-off when they were waiting to be called.
- A German viewer tweeting proves that Anastacia has WORLDWIDE appeal.
- Anastacia felt ‘Princessipal’ when dancing.
- Anastacia says she didn’t wake up looking like a Princess. Brendan says she did. SCANDAL!
- It took an hour and a half for three women to make-up Brendan in the bald cap, and his dressing gown got less and less concealing as it went on. Ooo-err.
- Anastacia thinks the rumba is like a slow and passionate cha cha.
- Karen Hardy loves the smell of the ballroom.
- Zoe thinks Karen Hardy is basically Norma Desmond.
- Karen Hardy thinks salsa should be earthy and edgy and ‘just a bit off’. Remind us never to go round her house for nachos.
- Danny’s posture is annoying Karen H.
- Karen H was loving the Will vs Len drama.
- ‘Armology’ has joined ‘armography’ in this show’s armoury of arm-y adjectives (ssssh I know they’re nouns but that’s not alliterative).
- Daisy spent the week trying to dress like Mary Poppins and role played Aljaž’s nanny. We’d like to… etc etc.
- Aljaž doing a cute little clap at his footwork being called ‘neat’ is everything.
- Aljaž’s partners, except Alison, have all scored 90 or higher as a cumulative total of the first three weeks, meaning he’s had almost as many ringers as Kevin Clifton.
- Aljaž does not like to be reminded that he’s not had a lot of luck with the rumba.
- Aljaž blames his and Abbey’s rumba hitting the bottom two on Halloween, because he scares easily.
- Daisy’s little sister is sad she’s too young to come and watch the show live, but there’s a children’s day around Children in Need time, assuming Daisy is still in at that point.
- Tuesday is the most productive day of the week.
- Len basically cursed Laura and Giovanni by saying they’d be around for ages.
- Laura ripped her tights during the dance but kept a second pair backstage in case they ended up in the dance-off, which proved to be quite fortuitous.
- Giovanni tells Laura how amazing he is every day.
- Giovanni has been drilling into Laura’s hips. Or words to that effect, anyway.
- Zoe is trying to spin the idea that being in the bottom two in week three is a good thing, as three couples who were in the bottom two that early made the final. Two of them were in series one and two, however, which only went on for about six weeks anyway, and the other couple was Simon and Kristina in series 12 who were dragged there against public indifference by the judges.
- There is a dance to BLOODY LULU this week. It doesn’t involve Brendan, though. He’s probably just having palpitations at the thought.
- Pasha lying on the floor blowing a big pink horn is not quite as attractive as we’d expect.
- There’s going to be a big pro dance homage to James Brown this weekend.
 - Anton was there at the birth of hip-hop.
- Giovanni and Katya have problems with singing in time and in tune.
- Karen H is joining in the patronising of ‘Little AJ’.
- New professionals bring new choreography.
- No-one likes a soggy meringue.
- Karen H doesn’t want to see good tricks and complicated moves early on in the run.
- Louise needs to lock in her legs.
- Karen Hardy is disappearing to New Zealand for a couple of weeks. No word on who’s replacing her in Khoreography Korner, but Chloe’s busy doing very little, so if she just Kardashians-up her name…
- Naga wasn’t flustered when her buckle got caught because Pasha had given her a lot of drilling the week before. He could drill… [OK WE GET IT – The readers]
- Pasha thinks Naga gave a ‘tangolicious’ performance.
- Pasha is using his ‘special stick’ to get Naga to focus on him. *Fans self*
- There are no harnesses in Pasha and Naga’s Charleston.
 - There is, however, another wig. And their first lifts of the series.
- Ian likes to draw attention to Ore’s groin area.
- Louise is currently leading with her toes, not her heels.
- Ian has always wanted to be a Barbara Streisand impersonator.
- The Strictly team are the best green make-up team in the business. Which might explain how often Poor Pasha gets covered in the stuff.
- Katya thinks Ed looked pretty in green mascara.
- Jeremy Vine is obsessed with Ed.
- Ed Miliband thinks Ed Balls is a national treasure, which might explain the state of the Labour party around the time of the last election.
- Ed was demonstrating his cape work at home to his family and sent the crockery flying.
- Ian is gutted no-one pointed out how good Greg’s feet were last week, especially as they’re looking very flat this week.
- Naga needs to set her face alight. Bit harsh, Ian.
- Ian thinks Ed and Katya were grossly undermarked last week, especially the pot-stir move.
- Ian thinks Ed’s paso walk is currently a cross between Larry Grayson and Frankie Howerd.
- Oti and Danny never got their dance right in rehearsals. Allegedly.
- Danny did his own stunts on Hollyoaks.
- Danny was stressed all week about his dance. Oti was not.
- Oti doesn’t compliment Danny all week.
- Danny’s Len impression is about a 5/10.
- Danny is enjoying the quickstep, whereas he was stressing for his previous dances, so he’s worried it might go wrong. He better not be as ‘Meh Nehves’ as Abbey Clancy or we’ll go off him before the series ends.
- Judge Rinder wanted to have another go at the Charleston. (What, in the dance-off?)
- Judge Rinder was so excited that he didn’t drop Oksana on the show, after dropping her head in rehearsal, that he forgot the next step. - Oksana had never been dropped before.
- Judge Rinder wants to try bum bongos with Zoe. She thinks she might need a mouth guard and some pillows. Far too much information for a pre-watershed show.
- Judge Rinder thinks he looks like a mildly frightened Edwina Currie in his Fred Flintstone wig.
- Danny is more excited about his quickstep than any of their previous dances.
- In a tribute to former Come Dancing judge, Peggy Spencer, who died earlier this year (damn you 2016 etc), we learned: how she began teaching young men to dance during the war; that Ian Waite was delighted when she knew his name; that she implored Karen H to keep her head up and smile; that Karen H had some fierce 80s hair; that she once did some SAME SEX DANCING on Blue Peter; that she was still teaching dance from her wheelchair into her 90s; that she would mark the competitors when watching Strictly.
- Vicky Gill found making a Viennese Waltz Milkmaid (for Oksana) a difficult challenge, despite half of Pixie Lott’s outfits looking remarkably like that.
- Chloe is coming in handy as a model for Lisa in make-up.  Glad they're using her time productively.
- Lisa’s an eyes-before-face maker-upper.
- A lot of the pairings seem to be colour-coordinating their training outfits.
- The American Smooth was one of the quickest routines for Jo to put together.
- Gene Kelly’s widow loved Jo and Ore’s dance and wants to meet them.
- The jive is the dance Ore always wanted to do.
- Lesley's mum was playing tennis into her nineties.
- Apparently movie week was Anton’s best week in ages. So we’re already denying that he made the final last year?
- Lesley is working 14-15 hour days right now.
- People complain about Lesley always wearing the same trousers in training every day, but she does wash them at night.
- Friday was Lesley’s 71st birthday and they bought her an Anton cake and balloon.
- Joanne has amazing abs.
- Jeremy Vine is sad that Will and Karen have left. Well, Karen, anyway.
- Zoe’s mum is a Marian Keyes fan.
- Laura thinks being in the dance-off has given her confidence, but Jeremy Vine thinks it will have made her nervous.
- Marian Keyes thinks Naga should be happier at getting to look at Pasha’s little Pasha face and hearing his little Pasha voice all day.
- Jeremy Vine thinks Charleston is the hardest dance to learn.
- Marian Keyes hates the rumba as it brings her out in a full body sweat because it’s aiming for ‘sensual’ and lands on ‘cringey’.
- One of the pros told Jeremy Vine to watch out for the rumba because it makes people angry.
- Marian Keyes thinks Ore is a ‘real Strictly person’.
- Jeremy Vine is ‘big into Ed Balls’.
- The judges watch your feet, but the audience watch your face.
- Jeremy Vine thinks Ed and Katya will make the final.
- Kevin’s birthday was yesterday and he went for a meal with Louise and Jamie, Frankie and her husband, Karen and some friends. He got a shirt and the new FIFA game. Good to see that Karen actually remembered to get him anything, considering what came out on All Star Mr & Mrs.
- Louise apologised to Kevin for getting a 7.
- Kevin and Louise will be doing a 60s-themed dance. Maybe he’ll hit the 2010s in a few weeks’ time at this rate.
- Anastacia is freaked out about the rumba because ‘every step is seen’.
- All of a sudden, rumba is HARDER FOR LADIES. It’s like the entire logic of this show has crumbled.
- Daisy thinks they don’t want her to look too sexy for her rumba.
- Greg thinks he’s ‘a bit of a wally’.
- One of Greg and Natalie’s lifts went very wrong and he tore something in his wrist.
- Natalie says they were doing the most epic lifts ever seen in a salsa, but they’ve had to take out the really good ones after Greg’s injury so WE WILL NEVER KNOW.
- Laura has a galaxy-print dressing gown.
- Laura's mum has been bringing her iron tablets.
- Claudia can only watch her performances back once.
- All the female celebs keep standing on the male pros’ feet in training.
- The show would like your home videos, BUT ONLY IN PORTRAIT mode.
- Lesley has taken to wearing her training tops inside out, but it isn’t clear if this is to hide some sort of logo or just sartorial accident.
- Greg’s a grower. Ooh-err.
- Marian Keyes’ husband is a little too fond of Daisy.
- LA PRENJ loves Judge Rinder. Quelle surprise.
- Marian Keyes wants Danny and Oti to get worse and go wrong on purpose because he’s too good and it’s boring.
- Jeremy Vine thinks Danny and Oti will win.
- LA PRENJ thinks Danny will be in danger this week because people will think he’s safe; Jeremy and Marian think Anastacia.
- A ‘small part’ of Greg has fallen in love with dancing.
- Gethin thinks Gorka, Aljaž and Giovanni should form a group called GAG. Who knew that was his kink?
- Boybands give a lot of love. (Actually, we probably knew that already.)
- Aljaž and Daisy and Giovanni and Laura went to see a dance competition in the Royal Albert Hall this week and Laura got really bored.
- If LA PRENJ did the show, her partner would be Anton. It’s not clear if this is who she’d choose or who she expects she’d get given.
- The singer from The Vamps looks a bit like AJ
- Blogger doesn’t give you any way to restore draft posts, so we lost several days’ content by accident. Stupid Blogger.

3 comments:

Penny said...

Yes I am definitely enjoying reading your summary of "It Takes Two" more than I did watching it last year.

In other "Strictly"-related news - I went to Blackpool for the first time last week and my friend and I stumbled through a rhumba on the Tower ballroom floor! I am so chuffed!

Rad said...

I hope it wasn't DIRTY and FILTHY.

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