This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Apparently Sophie, Countess of Wessex was in the audience this weekend.
- Oti trained Graeme so hard for the dance-off that he thought he could beat anyone...except Ashley.
- Graeme fell over because his shoes were too shiny.
- Graeme thought he'd crocked his ankle but Oti just screamed at him to carry on.
- The montage of Graeme and Oti's training footage across the series was genuinely quite entertaining (albeit too long) right up until the point he started taking himself seriously.
- Like Stacey and Kevin and Craig David, Graeme and Oti had a days of the week routine - Monday and Tuesday they laughed, Wednesday she hated him, Thursday and Friday 'er, yeah'.
- Len's been gone for two years and people are still doing "SEV-UNN!"
- Faye's drunk so much of the Strictly Kool-Aid that she thinks the Lindy Hop-athon was the first time they'd all danced together.
- Every single person who walked past Graeme on Saturday went "OI OI! HELLO SAILOR!"
- AJ's core hurt a lot after the pro challenge.
- AJ started talking to himself a lot during the pro challenge which he thinks was a good sign.
- Is it just me, or did Faye and Giovanni's tango box look suspiciously like the pro challenge one?  Was that a subtle shout out to his dominance in the challenges?
- AJ had five steps disqualified, leaving him with 29 overall. He would like Janette to win.
- AJ thinks the salsa was Lauren's best performance so far (?!).
- AJ decided not to take a shot on the pool table in their dance in case he fluffed it in front of the nation.
- Lauren thought Saturday was a night of smiles, excitement and bubbles. 
- AJ nearly threw Lauren down the stairs by accident when they found out they were safe.
- Lauren doesn't know no South Pacific.
- Zoe thinks Erin 'knows all about winning'.  Has she seen Erin's track record on this show?
- Erin thinks Ashley's was the best samba ever on Strictly.  It's not even the best one this series, Erin.
- Erin wasn't shocked to see Ashley in the dance-off, lol.
- Zoe prefers to be the man.
- The key to a good pivot is to lock your right thighs together.
- Erin thinks Charles is 'a man of freedom and snake hips and looseness... a big monster of a man, strong'.  Someone's ovaries are activated.
- There are 31 wigs in each performance of Les Misérables. That's not enough, we demand more.
- Joe and Dianne will be dancing to the JOSEPH MEGAMIX.  The song choices for this week are... eclectic.
- Goats can be trained to recognise their names and come when called, and they develop their own accents.
- Aljaž has been doing toe-heel swivels for 23 years.
- After two disqualifications, Aljaž had 33 toe-heel swivels.
- The foxtrot was invented on a Harlem rooftop by a man named Fox.
- Apparently (according to Jason Gilkison), celebrities all think the foxtrot is the easiest to learn.
- Janette has size two feet.
- You mustn't overpower your weave.
- Appearing in the dance-off has rattled Ashley so much that she now speaks entirely in clichés.
- Pasha thinks he's been in the dance-off every season that he's been on. He's obviously forgotten about series nine.
- Ashley is no longer being likened to Caroline Flack and is now being compared to Alesha.
- Even though she's clearly never heard of an Alesha.
- Ashley has a big end this week.
- Ian had a mini-break in the Canaries this week but made sure he was back in time to do his slot, presumably because he saw what happened to Karen Hardy when she tried having mid-series holidays.
- Ian and Zoe are at odds over whether you can have a sexy rhythmical Joseph.
- Ian has never done musical theatre.
- Ian thinks Charles has had a run of difficult dance draws lately.
- The key to a good rumba is using the insides of your toes.
- Alesha's Viennese waltz is going up against Mark Benton's jive and Joe McFadden's samba in one of the more bizarre buffets this vote has offered us.
- Dianne doesn't care who wins the pro challenge as long as it's a girl.
- Dianne had 2 heel-toe swivels disqualified, leaving her with a total of 32.
- Vicky Gill's job has lots of layers ho ho ho.
- The first dress that Vicky Gill designed on the show was a gold one for Erin to wear with Colin Jackson.
- Vicky Gill loves an American Smooth.
- She also enjoyed making Helen George's mummy samba outfit.
- The net skirts for 'Ballroom Blitz' were a nightmare to make.  Worth it, though.
- Even Dianne thinks her and Joe's street/commercial wasn't fully in sync.
- Joe used to play rugby.
- Joe and Dianne were pleased to find themselves with loads of space at the back in the Lindy Hop-a-thon.
- Zoe's daughter forces her to watch Joe and Zoella videos on YouTube.
- Joe and Dianne are choreographing a technicolor dreamcoat into their routine so are hoping they get one made for them.
- Joe is being thrown around this week.
- Hot Greg does a passable job of yodelling.
- Giovanni has got very hairy legs.
- Sometimes the wardrobe team only put one sleeve on outfits that are supposed to have two, because Vicky Gill sketches quickly and doesn't always put both arms on.
- Hot Greg is very interested to find out what happens with the bits Vicky Gill cuts off the dresses.
- Janette took the time to warm up before the pro challenge. She may have been the only one to do this.
- Johannes is a grunter.
- Johannes and Janette both did 38 toe-heel swivels - but Johannes had five disqualified and Janette had 26 disqualified, leaving them with 33 and 12 respectively.
- Nadiya eats about 20 apples a day.
- Aljaž is here for an applethon.
- Anton pronounces Oti's name "Otti".
- Dianne gets freaked out by apples in the morning.
- Anton won Rear Of The Year in 2011 - proof, if it were ever needed, that they really will give it to anyone who'll turn up for the photoshoot.
- People apparently stop Stacey on the street to tell her the paso and charleston are their favourite dances.
- No-one knows what Craig meant when he called Stacey's paso 'economical'.
- Stacey told Kevin that she was never going to be capable of getting 10s.
- When Craig gets a 9 out you know you're at least getting four 9s.
- Kevin thinks cha cha is a pointless dance.
- Kevin and Stacey did a lot of running around with him carrying her in the Lindy because they were knackered and they thought it might get them noticed if they didn't stay on the spot.
- Stacey does not know all of the words to 'I Dreamed A Dream'. Or, indeed, almost any of them.
- Stacey calls Johannes "my one true love".
- Gethin can name two musicals.
- Faye has apparently taken to turning up to this show in a dressing gown.
- Zoe thinks Bruno calling something 'upper-class' means brilliant.  So, presumably, 'working class' would be an insult, Bruno you snob. 
- Faye and Giovanni will be puppets for their charleston.
- Faye and Giovanni had a yodelling lesson from Yodel Lin.
- Giovanni's back has recovered enough to do lifts again.
- If your leg hurts from being waxed, hold your hand on it.
- This week's pro dance has a Mamma Mia! theme. Dianne and AJ will be Sophie and Sky, and Karen will be Donna.
- It will involve 'lots of yippee, funky stuff, and getting into the groove.'
- Due to what we can only assume are ongoing music licensing issues, the soundtrack for this section was A*Teens.
- This week's Friday panel is Edith Bowman, Todrick Hall and Stacey Solomon.
- Apparently Todrick Hall is Billy Flynn in Chicago right now. Hope he's not getting too comfortable, Graeme's coming for his job.
- Zoe would like Todrick to cover for Bruno when he goes on holiday next year.
- Edith liked Ashley's "couple's dance" (that's all of them, hon) and Joe's basketball dance.
- Stacey Solomon loves Barbra Streisand because they have similar noses.
- 'Go Go Joseph' is what Todrick thinks is at the clubs where he goes.  He either goes to some niche clubs or has some, er, enhancements when he goes out.
- Joe McFadden won the vote thing because of course he did.
- Janette had mostly taught children before doing Strictly. This explains a lot.
- Julien Macdonald made Janette's wedding dress, so she did quite well out of that one.
- Janette hopes to dance with Peter Andre again one day. (Hint to Christmas special producers.)
- Janette thinks Aston's elimination was the most shocking in Strictly history. Don't pad your part, love.
- Shirley thinks it was a difficult choice to save Ashley over Graeme.  Sure, hun.
- Shirley thinks the couples are now so far in that 'they can actually literally touch the finish line.'
- Shirley thinks this show lasts for 'months and months and months'.  We're definitely at that point in proceedings, aren't we?
- Shirley isn't scared of sitting next to Bruno because she has "great peripheral vision".
- Stacey is like Kevin's pet Chihuahua.
- Charles wants to keep his tango jacket.
- Karen has always dreamed of dancing to 'Maria'. But has Maria always dreamed of dancing to 'Karen'?
- Anton does not have respect for award-winning choreographer Karen Bruce.
- Anton did 28 toe-heel swivels after six disqualifications.
- Oti pronounces "Evita" as "Iveta".
- Stacey Solomon is weirded out by puppets.
- All the panel think Lauren is a real inspiration, which doesn't sound patronising at all.
- None of the panel wanted to say who's going home, but when pushed Stacey predicted Charles or Lauren and Todrick put Ashley's name in there too.
- AJ has gone back to grubbing for scores and this week wants a '10'.
This week on It Takes Two, we have not learnt:
- What a Tom Grennan is. (Steve)
- I actually did know that one Steve, god you're so out of touch. (Rad)