Week 8: Top 8 Results - 10 September 2019
We open with our traditional Remembrance Sunday pro routine, to ‘Time
after Time’. Anton and Amy play the parents of a young boy before Anton
goes to war. We then see some of the male pros as soldiers and the female pros as wives and we cut to our homoerotic brothers - Kevin is going in the navy and Gorka is sad. Then we see some female pros as soldiers - Dianne, Karen and Nancy, who finally gets a plot (she's in love with Graziano). When they talked about this dance on ITT as being a street commercial and contempowaft blend, I was worried, but there's also a lot of ballroom in here, some patented Strictly romantic benchography and some 'ghost' effects that are just about passable, so overall, it felt like one of the more successful remembrance dances.
Our hosts enter - Tess in a sparkly blue dress with a black lace veil over it - because remembrance? It would look nice
otherwise – and her hair and make-up look really good. Claudia's in a black suit with a white shirt and I think this is one of the best looks I've seen on her.
They thank Callum Hudson (who played the young boy) and pros and welcome the military personnel in the audience, before our judges enter: Shirley and Bruno, then Craig and Motsi, all in varying degrees of black, although Shirley's dress has white flowers on it that look like snowflakes. [Bloody millennials - Steve]
Moments of note from last night's recap - Emma loves her dramatic blue and black eye makeup, Michelle's super
curly ringlets looked just as bad before they got piled on top of her head, Kelvin stands against a blue wall that's the exact same colour as his outfit, making him look like he has no arms (a tribute to Nicole Scherzinger on the PCD album cover, perhaps), Karim’s
bad points are emphasised but no-one else’s are, Michelle and Giovanni are both Virgos and
apparently 'details matter so much' because of that [definitely starting to see why no one's voting for her tbh - Steve], getting the judges' 10s to play in unison is only going to work when Craig gives his up, synchronising three tens and a nine is just a cacophony, stop it.
So over to our first safety results: Karim and Amy (who screams piercingly and
cries); Alex and Neil; Saffron and AJ. The first couple in the dance-off?
Michelle and Giovanni. Everyone
else looks visibly shocked. I have been voting for them recently because I suspected their public support wouldn't be great, but to go from 2nd out of 8 must be a huge blow - realising that their vote is the lowest of everyone except - probably - Mike (and very possibly Saffron) can't be nice. [I'm no maths expert but I think given the leaderboard placings and the fact that there were zero ties, Michelle can only have beaten Mike in the public vote, assuming she beat anyone at all. Given their respective positions, I don't think there's any way she can have beaten Saffron in the vote. - Steve]
Michelle says she wants this desperately (being in the dance-off?), more
than anything in a long time, and is willing to fight for it. Motsi is surprised and says to bring it on, but she’s at a
loss for words.
I blame the outfit for a good 95% of this. BURN IT.
In the Clauditorium we learn that Michelle and Alex are good friends, Alex’s
mum has never been to Blackpool and she and Neil are dancing a Paso - or at least that's the plan, but we'll see if Neil's injury makes a 'surprise' reappearance leading to an 'Oh mate, so sorry, hard luck, let me, Kevin, King of the Blackpool Paso help you out there'. Claudia says sorry to Karim for her rock joke and asks how
relieved he is – he says he was sure he’d be in the dance-off, and that it’s
Amy’s DREAM to be at Blackpool. Dream bigger dreams, Amy! Saffron is congratulated on her first 10 from Shirley and I'm not sure we need 'first 10 from each specific judge' to be a thing - first 10 ever and first 10 from Craig (i.e. first 40) are fine, but that's enough.
Our guest performer is Luke Evans, our latest actor trying to be a pop star, singing ‘Bring Him Home’. It's not Musicals Week. Although I suppose it does fit Remembrance Sunday. His voice is fine although it's all a bit hammy and he does this weird thing with his mouth where his lips just disappear. Still, at least it's not the sound of Boeballs, for which we can all be grateful. Johannes and Amy do some waltzing-cum-contempowaft-cum-rumba
in barefoot, which is pretty enough, but it would have been more interesting to see a dance based on the pseudo father/son dynamic that it's actually about.
Dance debrief takes in Motsi telling us that Karim will recover, and that his shoulders were better than his crappy footwork; Shirley calling AJ a 'meticulous teacher who pays attention to feet', Craig saying that everything Michelle does has a reason. When Vicky Giggles' costume store is burned to a crisp later this week, believe that there'll be a reason for that, too. Bruno, meanwhile, bangs on about Kelvin's hips some more. As Claudia thanks the judges, only Craig smiles down camera at us. Also nobody says Blackpool in this whole segment well done
all.
Our annual charity poppy bit takes us to Waterloo station, and there's not much to say here other than the sellers
seem to be selling glittery poppies? Oh, London. Also Oti tries to conduct a brass band. Doesn’t look very effectual.
More safe couples: Kelvin and Oti (who also needs a better bra, what is it with this week's outfits?) and Emma and Anton, leaving Mike vs
Chris and both Chris and Karen look scared but the other two look resigned,
and, of course, here they are for the fourth - and presumably final - time. Tess
keeps reminding them it’s their fourth time and he says he’s used to it and it’s
always a second chance but he also has the demeanour of someone who is quite relieved that the sweet release of death is on its way.
Craig says it's too late for technique, but to blow Michelle out
of pool, it should be about performance and to really go for it. Mmm-hmmm.
In the Clauditorium: BLACKPOOOOOOOOL. Next week, Kelvin has the dance he always wanted to do - the jive. So post-Blackpool, we have so much good quality content coming from him - unless they're leaving a load of ballroom for the home stretch to make his probable winner's story more of a journey? Chris says he's gigged there and his
shows were poorly attended so he’s excited to have a full house. It's Karen’s first time in 8 years when she’s got
to BLACKPOOL without hitting the dance-off. Chris says its her
new haircut. I mean, he's probably not wrong.
There's a trailer for next week in which GET ME TO BLACKPOOL – but it’s
the same as every year, let’s just skip it.
Dance-off time, and Mike and Katya go first. Whilst this isn’t the worst indignity visited on the poor paso
this series, it’s still no classic and remains (for me) firmly in the mid-tier
of their crappy oeuvre. And it's kind of bland that
it’s this, rather than their samba/Charleston/insert your least favourite as appropriate/personally I hated their quickstep/thirty-fucking-two I will never be over it, which is likely to
kill them.
Michelle and Giovanni next and she seems a little shaken and
hesitant at first, and you can see him encouraging her – when she remembers to
perform for camera it improves a lot, and should definitely see them through. Now let’s never speak of the crimes committed against her in this styling again, delete it from YouTube, make it the biggest cover-up since [insert conspiracy theory of your choice here, I'm not getting sued].
Craig says one couple put up a very good fight but he’s
saving Michelle and Giovanni. So the implication is that.. they didn't? Motsi says
it was the best performance from both couples (no) but saves Michelle and Giovanni for being clearer winners,
Bruno saves them for performing to the highest standard ‘with all due respect’
and Shirley would have also saved them.
Mike says he’s had an amazing time, has lost a stone and a half,
feels mentally stronger (I mean, I'm glad, because the very obvious message that the public really hate you can't be good for the self-esteem), and his parents are going to start dancing apparently –
but his dad’s doing ballroom and his mum’s doing Zumba. Is that mismatch of styles what Katyaography comes from? It's beginning to make sense now. He says getting 32 for the quickstep was a
highlight. Not for me it wasn’t. Katya says he’s going out on what she thinks
is his best dance, and the only thing he’s lost is weight. Mike and Katya mug for the cameras and try and
distract from Claudia signing off, then they dance out to ‘Rule the World’ (how
come they get the least downer music?) and they make everyone conga, even Tess, which is honestly the best thing they've done on this show and a great last dance - as long as it doesn't become a 'thing' from hereon in.
Next week: BLACKPOOL and Westlife are performing a medley of
their greatest hits, enjoy that Steve. [Gee, THANKS. - Steve]
