Wallace and gone-it

Top fifteen results: Sunday 5 October 2014

Last night!  All fifteen couples danced!  It took over two hours to watch and even longer to recap! Tonight, one pair will be going home!  But not before a load of needless filler!  Huzzah!

We open with all the male pros shimmying on before they introduce Tess and Claudia.  Now, I don't want to worry you, but one of these two is wearing black AND IT ISN'T CLAUDIA.  I can't help but feel the next signs of the apocalypse are likely to be a plague of locusts and Darcey giving a critique in English. Daly Dresswatch then: a black and white lacy thing. Perfectly acceptable.  What Winkleman's Wearing: Some sort of white thing with sequins. Is Claudia secretly trying to be a contestant?  They tell us the dreaded dance-off is back and someone will be leaving.  Tess says it feels too soon. Not when you have to recap this stuff, Tess.

The judges dance on, with Bruno gaying it all over Len <3 and Darcey remaining as uncomfortable as ever.

We get a reprise of last night, along with backstage footage.  Of note: hot floor manager Greg is still around, we have no idea what Aliona has had to go through with Gregg - Wallace, that is, not the hot floor manager (although I think we might), Tim couldn't think of a tougher week (out of two).  Tess reminds us that Jake and Janette are top of the leaderboard, with Judy and Anton at the bottom.

The first set of results are in and it's time to see who the first few safe couples are: Frankie and Kevin; Simon and Kristina; Tim and Natalie (who goes ballistic); Caroline and Pasha; Thom and Iveta; Judy and Anton (who goes even more ballistic like he's ever first out). The first couple in the dance-off: Jennifer and Tristan, which I suspect is not a surprise to anyone. [It was slightly surprising to me - I honestly thought the Mrs Brown's Boys fans would be a voting powerhouse, but apparently they're more passive than, say, Waterloo Road viewers. - Steve]

Darcey says she's surprised Jennifer's in the bottom because she has improved and this time she should just enjoy it and relax.  Jennifer says she'll try to put right what she got wrong.  Craig says to listen to their advice and try to improve even just a bit.

Up in the Clauditorium (or should this bit still be called Claudia's Counselling Centre?  Thoughts on a postcard, please) [I really like "Clauditorium" as a catch-all, for what it's worth - Steve], everyone is relieved and Frankie says it was a real treat to be called first but now they have to wait to hear about everyone else.

Next week is movie week (good luck, Steve!) and dancing to one of the best movie songs ever, 'Let it Go' (which I'm actually not 100% officially over yet, making me somewhat rare in the world's population - but then I don't have children and I can imagine there were a fair few twitching parents when this came on) from Frozen, it's the pro dancers.  Joanne plays a smiley girl twirling around with Tristan before the men lead Ola in ice-bitch mode onto stage.  We can assume they're representing Anna and Elsa here, yes?  Ola then dances with all the men in order to wind up James and provoke furious tweets I can imagine.  Then the others all arrive and Janette does some scarf wafting at the back for a bit and there's a cool bit where all the women seem to have magic scarves and then Janette sort of flies/dangles from the ceiling and then some icicles rise from the dancefloor and the singers mangle the song and the pros all swap partners a million times and then there's a massive gap at the end before the singer half-heartedly remembers to do the 'the cold never bothered me anyway' line.  It was mostly lovely, but I think it aimed higher than what it actually achieved, so it's kind of a solid B of a routine for me.

Claudia is with the judges now, and sadly, Len's Lens is back.  We watch Steve's feet and his poor heel leads.  Len actually explains the difference between heel leads and the leads on the ball of the foot in cha-cha which is almost vaguely educational.  Darcey shows us the bit where Janette sticks her head on Jake's feet and then their swivel lift and Len snarks that Jake could lose his amateur status like this is the Olympics in the olden days or something.  Craig shows us Pixie's high rondes (or is it her ronds des?  I am such a dance noob despite watching this show since series three and bits of the first two).  We then get your videos from home. This week: two kids being cute.  Here endeth your vids from home.

Time for the next set of results.  Safe are: Jake and Janette; Pixie and Trent; Alison and Aljaž; Steve and Ola; Mark and Karen; Sunetra and Brendan and Scott and Joanne, leaving Gregg and Aliona in the dance-off and Aliona that one step closer to freedom. Gregg isn't surprised but feels sorry for Aliona being in the bottom two. I'm not sure Aliona is going to be that upset, Gregg. Bruno implores him to keep up the performance level but watch the placement of his legs.

Claudia is with the rest of the saved 'couples' - except none of the pros are there, just the celebrities. Mark says everything in the competition is a relief - getting through the dances, getting saved etc. Claudia says to Jake 'you can't do better than that, can you?' Jake: 'that's what I'm worried about.' Bless. Sunetra is pleased to have survived and the others don't get to say anything.

Next up, Gregory Porter and pointless piano botherer Jamie Cullum doing a cover of 'Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood' whilst Aljaž and Iveta seem to do something involving a chair which the camera doesn't let us see, presumably because it's too filthy for primetime BBC One. They then get to do a rumba-like dance for a bit. Gregory Porter is wearing a very weird deerstalker-cum-balaclava hat.  Jamie Cullum has gotten no less annoying with age.

Next week: movie week!  Cue a comedy VT promotion involving Gregg begging Aliona for food, Scott Mills wearing a Little Mermaid wig and Caroline and Pasha in space suits for... reasons, I'm sure. [As I said on Twitter, if Iveta isn't fighting for Thom to get Magic Mike as his theme, I don't know what to believe in anymore. - Steve]

Dance-off time.  Gregg is OK with being in the dance-off and says he had no ambitions of winning the show and calls Aliona 'little one' which I'm sure she loves, looking all of, what an inch shorter than him?  Jennifer is glad to have a chance to do the dance properly.

Gregg and Aliona are first.  His technique does seem to have improved since the first time, and he seems more relaxed - and as a result, it's more enjoyable, although he ends by eating a bit of cake from his finger rather than submerging himself in it.

Jennifer also seems more relaxed although Tristan's hand still gets caught in the dress.  She seems more confident in her movements this time, and whilst neither she nor Gregg are long for this competition, at least they both acquitted themselves reasonably well in the dance-off. [I noticed significantly less gapping in Jennifer's reprisal of her waltz, so that gives me some hope for her, however slim. - Steve]

Craig says both couples improved enormously and he's saving Jennifer and Tristan.  Darcey enjoyed both and saves Jennifer and Tristan.  Bruno goes with the most accomplished couple, which is Jennifer and Tristan, meaning Gregg and Aliona are first to leave.  Len says he would also have saved Jennifer and Tristan.

Gregg says his favourite part was practice and he enjoyed that a lot more than the live shows.  He thanks Aliona for her patience. They dance off to 'Don't Dream it's Over' and we get a new post-credits feature of everyone saying they're sorry Gregg's gone. Except a lot of them say very generic things like 'it could be any of us' and 'you hate to see people go' which means they perhaps didn't record all of these after the show. Or perhaps some people didn't want to be nice about Gregg who can say. Next week, we go to the movies with "special" guest judge Donny Osmond and Steve will be recapping that for you.