Making Fletch happen

Week 13: The Final - 14 December 2019

Last year I made one big request of Louise Rainbow's successor: no more 150-minute finals. This year, I guess I got my wish with this comparatively lean 125-minute finale, though I guess that's more the result of Will getting medevaced than any power this blog might have. Nonetheless, I'm going to take it as the gift that it is - even though I'm exhausted and even a two-hour finale feels like it might end me. Merry Christmas, everyone!

We open with the obligatory reflective montage as our three finalists stride into the studio to watch their potted history displayed on the screen at the back of the stage. A lot of 10s are given out, that's probably the most efficient way that I can summarise it. Karim tells us that it means everything to him to be in the final, Emma says she's going to put her heart and soul into it, Kelvin wows to give it his all. And of course each one of them talks about how amazing it would be to lift that trophy, but only one of them gets to do it. Who will it be? The answer probably won't surprise you!

Re-edited final titles, now with our three finalists at the end instead of the beginning! It's a bit less fun when they've been grouped closely together from the very start anyway, isn't it?

From there we go to a laser-lit pro dance to Steve Winwood's 'Higher Love', with showcase spots for our three professional finalists: Amy, Anton and Oti. And not to be cruel about this but giving Anton a major spotlight role in a big number like this makes it very clear that the fault for him only making the final twice in 15 years doesn't exclusively lie with the mostly rubbish partners that he's had. In accordance with tradition, the finalists get their own little moment in this number too, though in a change with said tradition (possibly due to ever-tightening BBC budgets) they don't descend from the ceiling but are instead unveiled dancing on three individual podiums (podia?) with their names lit up underneath them. Given the way that the narrative for this year's final has unfolded I almost expect Anton to get his own labelled podium too, possibly in place of Emma's, but it fails to transpire. I do quite like that they basically appear to be freestyling their own choreography in this particular moment, and it would seem that without Oti there to steer him Kelvin's dancing tends somewhat towards the "dad" school. Bless.

It ends, and Tess and Claudia arrive: Tess in a black-and-gold frock, and Claudia in a white frilled blouse with a black skinny neckerchief and black trousers. They tease a total of nine competitive performances over the course of the evening, a guest performance from Taylor Swift and of course the reunion performance from the class of 2019. But more exciting than all of that (possibly): the judges! They arrive in the following order: Bruno (with a silver leaf pattern on his jacket), Craig (in a sequinned suit), Motsi (in a silver symmetric gown that turns into basically a giant down rug at the waist, only much better than that sounds) and Shirley (green dress with feathers on top and a lot of fringing down below). Do you know what I'm going to miss about this series more than anything? Motsi's looks, every single week. What an icon.

And let's meet our three finalists: Emma and Anton, Karim and Amy, and Kelvin and Oti. It's interesting that I can immediately remember which dances Karim and Emma have got for the first round just by looking at what they're wearing (quickstep and charleston respectively) but Kelvin's is a little less specific and I have to look it up to remind myself (rumba). Feel free to craft your own narrative of the style/substance variety from this, if you like. Claudia reminds us that round one is Judges' Choice round, and after each couple has competed the vote will open. Tess adds that this will be followed by the dreaded showdance (with no rules! Which is apparently different from the Couple's Choice offering in some sort of manner that remains entirely elusive to me!), and Claudia finishes by saying that the final competitive dance from each couple will be their own favourite routine (although in Emma's case I suspect it will be her second-favourite since the judges' already picked her favourite one): Karim's jive, Emma's Viennese waltz, and Kelvin's "that samba".

Karim & Amy: Judges' Choice

Karim and Amy get the honour/challenge (delete as applicable) of opening the final, and once again Karim must reflect on being in the dance-off. Last week's visit to near-elimination was particularly challenging, because it was against one of his best mates (although I firmly believe that Karim views everyone in this cast as his best mate, he is fully sunshine, lollipops and rainbows). Karim survived, of course, which was the preferred outcome of both couples in the dance-off anyway. Karim and Amy arrive for their hearing with the judges, and are overjoyed to get the quickstep. Craig points out that he got three 10s for it last time, and if he can just cut out the gapping this time he might get the whole caboodle. 

Amy struggles a bit with the measuring tape in the opening set-up much as she did the first time round, but fortunately doesn't end up tying Karim in knots (unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case it's possibly hugely disappointing). Both Shirley and Bruno are on their feet and peering out over the desk throughout this routine, presumably because they take their judging role very seriously and are looking out for any mistakes (spoiler: Craig is the only judge who will be going lower than a 10 all night) [Spoiler: it will make me rage -Rad] . I'm glad Karim got to do this routine again because it's one of my favourite routines of his, but I think it does still suffer from the one problem Karim's never quite been able to overcome: an excess of energy that can make his performances look a little bit untidy around the edges. Then again, it's a lot easier to mask that in a quickstep, and I think by and large here he gets away with it.

Karim tells Tess it's an honour to open the final and thanks everyone for their support. Tess thanks our "all live singers" (no zombies here!) for this evening: Hayley, Billy, Andrea and Tommy, and Dave Arch and his wonderful orchestra. Shirley opens for the judges by telling Karim that he had everything: the footwork, the leg action, no gapping. So he didn't have everything, then? Bruno says that he thinks the nation is experiencing pure ballroom bliss, and declares the dance "pure perfection". He adds that Karim takes a standard of ballroom and makes it "fresh, exciting, relevant, now". And he gets biz-zay, consistently and thoroughly! Craig confirms that he saw no gapping. Motsi rounds things off by saying that Karim has matured in his presentation since he first danced this routine. If only she'd left herself any scope to reflect that in her score...

Karim rushes up to the Clauditorium for the first time tonight where he is swamped with affection, particularly from Chris and Mike. Karim says that he and Amy have been working really hard to stay glued to each other, even in the jumps and everything. Scores: Craig 10, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 40. Karim's a little bit wobbly already, bless him. Amy gushes about watching this show growing up and how much it means to her to be in the final. Claudia asks them to tease their showdance, and Karim says he wants to inspire people with it and to believe that dreams can come true. Ooh, I hope they're dancing to Gabrielle!

Emma & Anton: Judges' Choice

Tess tells us that Emma has scored six 10s over the course of the series, but has never had one from Craig - but she's got three chances to impress him tonight! (Spoiler: she's still not going to get one.) In her VT, Emma reflects on her semi-final experience: she went out to party with her cha cha, and although she would have liked her waltz to be better, it was beautiful nonetheless. Emma says that whatever happens, she would have gone home happy - but she didn't go home. I mean, I know she's a superfan but sleeping in the studio for a week seems excessive even for her. Mind you, handy for the commute to her day job just across the road. Emma and Anton go to meet with the judges and are handed their charleston for the first round, which Emma is thrilled about, of course. Shirley reminds her that she scored 39 for it two weeks ago, and Craig tells her that she just needs to add a little bit of extra polish if she wants a 10 from him. Emma vows to enjoy it and be that showgirl. Which one? I hope it's Gina Gershon.

So Emma's probably got the biggest hurdle to overcome of anyone in this opening round, because this routine had lots of backing dancers the first time we saw it (doing a lovely job of masking Anton) and now she has to channel enough energy and pizzazz to make us not notice that they aren't there any more. (I don't think it helps matters that there are four empty desks behind her where they would have been sitting, to be honest.) And of course that section where she gets borne aloft on their shoulders has to be replaced with something else, unless Anton's feeling particularly beefy and I suspect that he is not. Unfortunately I think this routine does suffer a little from not quite filling the space when there's just the two of them, and also perhaps from Emma trying to conserve her energy for the two dances she's still got to do because one or two sections (particularly the Josephine Baker step so beloved of Bruno the first time she did this) feel a little bit more sluggish than they did before. I don't so much notice the absence of the lifts specifically, but I suspect had they been able to keep the extra dancers and do them again it might have felt a little bit more spectacular than it does in this form. But them's the breaks when you reprise a big theme week performance in the final, I suppose. (Also she properly rips the paper when she pulls it out of the typewriter at the beginning, which is quite funny.)

Emma can't thank the judges enough for picking that routine for her, even though she could have chosen it for herself if they didn't. Bruno calls her his favourite flapper ever, and says she plays the part with such confidence. Almost as if she's an actor by trade! Craig spotted a sync issue, but thinks the routine would be right at home in the West End. Motsi thinks the details of that dance and the energy that Emma put in, and her eyes were sparkling more than Motsi's outfit. (In the audience, applauding: Tamzin Outhwaite, back from the dead!) Shirley's on her feet applauding Emma as the last lady standing, and says this was one of the most enjoyable charleston's she's ever watched and Anton was fabulous.

They thoroughly modernly make their way up to the Clauditorium, and Emma says she really wanted to go out there and take in every single second because she never thought she would get this far. She's very happy and grateful for the comments. Scores: Craig 9, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39. It's the same score she got for it last time, and Emma jokes that she's thrilled because she wouldn't have wanted to go lower than that, which is a fair point. Claudia asks Emma what sort of animal her showdance would be, and Emma says a swan. Well, if she's aspiring to calm on the surface while working furiously below the water... I would be interested to see that, yes.

Kelvin & Oti: Judges' Choice

Last week Kelvin got his first 40, which was the biggest buzz he's ever felt. Except for that time he took the kids to Disneyland and accidentally put his hand in the wrong place when posing for a picture with the cast of Toy Story, but he doesn't want to talk about that. The judges have chosen for them to reprise their rumba, and Motsi tells him that it's the perfect chance to demonstrate all of the skills that he has picked up over the last few weeks, while Shirley wants him to remind them all what wonderful chemistry he has with Oti. Kelvin does have the most scope for improvement here, reprising a dance from week four as opposed to week seven (Karim) or week 11 (Emma), and also the lowest original score for any of the three dances featured in this round (36, as opposed to the 39 that Karim and Emma both got). I mean, it's not "do your week one cha cha cha again" levels of absolute gifting, but it's probably quite a nice position to be in all the same. Kelvin's excited to relive a fantastic night. Wow, I didn't know this rumba was set on 23 June 2016!

This is definitely one of the better male rumbas this show has seen, and there's clear improvement from the first time he did it, although I can still see moments where it's not quite as fluid as I'd like it to be. Yes, I'm nitpicking, but it's the final and somebody has to do it, especially since three-quarters of the judges decided they didn't really have any interest in doing so tonight. It's still a lovely routine though: the choreography is exquisite and the chemistry between Kelvin and Oti really is magnetic.

Craig declares himself "hot under the collar, darling" and compliments them on producing a rumba that's both believable and masculine. Motsi: "if anybody could dance a rumba in the final, then it's you Kalvin". Motsi's absolute lack of interest in getting Kelvin's name right at any point this series has been one of the low-key highlights for me. She says that when she sees him, she sees "a lot of beautiful muscle" (wow, I didn't know he had an OnlyFans) but it's good that he can use them too. And she's glad she saw it twice because this time she was a bit less worried about what he was doing to her little sister. Shirley is fanning herself with her notepad and tells Kelvin that he was "oily like a lava lamp", which has to be up there with the oddest compliments ever uttered on this show. She compliments Oti for training him well on his superb placement, and declares it "fab-yew-lous". Poor Craig. Bruno says that it was sensual and romantic with sizzling chemistry, but the best thing was that he went from sculptural to fluid. See, the "sculptural" aspects of this were the parts I didn't like, so that just shows how much I know.

Kelvin and Oti scoot up to the Clauditorium and Kelvin says that he was a bit embarrassed by some of the lovely comments, and that the rumba can be quite an exposing dance (in that shirt, I'd say so) but he gave it his all. Scores: Craig 9, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39. The audience are fuming at that 9 from Craig, and I'm quite surprised by it. That perfect rumba on this show remains elusive, although I'm pleased that we still have one dance that no one's ever scored 40 for. Basically I'm very "look, if Rachel Stevens can't get 40 for it then nobody should" about the rumba, and I make no apologies for it. [Also I want the first 40 rumba to earn its stripes first time out, not in the final which doesn't really count - Rad] Claudia asks what we can expect from their showdance and Kelvin says "absolutely everything". Yikes.

First Round Leaderboard

1. Karim & Amy - 40

2=. Emma & Anton - 39

2=. Kelvin & Oti - 39

Terms and conditions for the final come courtesy of Tom Allen. Should we expect Tom Allen to be a contestant on this show at some point? I feel it's quite possible, and I'm not even sure I'd be that opposed to it. What can I say, I used to find him annoying but exposure has made me more tolerant. [I'm the opposite - Rad] My favourite part of this whole section, though? Oti behind him, sneezing into her hands because where on earth would you store a tissue in that outfit? The vote opens! (And according to the people I spoke to last night who tried to vote at this time, promptly breaks.)

Karim & Amy: Showdance

Karim explains that they are dancing to 'A Million Dreams' from The Greatest Showman. (Sidebar: I still have not seen this film, and I don't really feel any desire to. Am I genuinely missing out, or should I stick with my instincts?) [The songs are good. The first time. But now everyone has heard them all a billion times, I wouldn't bother. 'Revisionist' would be polite. - Rad] Karim says that there's a strong message to their showdance, which is that your dreams really can come true if you work hard. They're dancing contemporary, which is A Choice for a number of reasons: one being that the first time they did this genre they landed in the bottom two, and another being that the first time they did this genre it struck me that it wasn't a particularly natural fit for Amy, so I'm surprised that she wanted to do it again. Tess and Claudia pop in to visit them during training, and Karim tells them that he occasionally has little meltdown moments of tiredness during the week, but the payoff always comes on Saturday when he sees the method in Amy's madness (quite pleased to see it confirmed as canon that Amy is insane, I thought I'd spotted it in her eyes) because she's pushed him so hard and it all comes together. Claudia asks Amy if her first final is everything she thought it would be, and Amy says she just wants to enjoy every second of it. Tess sing-songs that Amy's going to cry on the night, which seems like a fairly safe bet, doesn't it? Karim says that it's so nice to see Tess and Claudia and he felt like the reaction was good: now he wants to show what their journey has meant, and he wants everyone to feel a moment of pride and achievement for what they've done in their own lives. It's true, I stayed in bed until 1pm on the day of the final, but I don't need a medal for living my life, y'know?

I'm not sure there's a lot to separate this showdance from the last contemporary routine he did in terms of content (there's definitely still too much "I'm trapped in a box!"-type miming for my comfort), but I do think he's done well to be a little bit more restrained in his execution of it and to bring a bit more fluidity to it. Also last time he was dressed in black and this time he's in white, so laws of narrative dictate that that was the evil one and this is the good one, right? But I think this routine as a whole does speak to a problem that the show has created for itself: what place is there for the showdance when Couple's Choice exists? As much as it's meant to be a chance to dance without having to "stick to the rules", I'm honestly struggling to think of any occasions when rules have been applied to Couple's Choice anyway. [I think there should be one rule: you're not to just redo a genre again. See also Emma. Kelvin's would be fine under my rule as he did ALL THE GENRES - Rad] Then again: this routine does at least sum up Karim fairly succinctly in that it's wholesome and positive and the bit where they just chuck a load of blue confetti everywhere in lieu of actual water is rather nice. But it feels like a slightly missed opportunity to really make a mark with voters now that the lines are open, because the overwhelming feeling is "nice" rather than "exciting" or "vital".

Karim cries afterwards, and Tess attempts to respond to this in an empathetic human manner before her programming fails and she resorts to just hooting incoherently in that terrible baby voice that she does when people are upset. Motsi says it was the perfect dance for Karim because it showed talent, technique and feeling, and he made her little dancing heart happy. You should probably see your doctor about that, Motsi. Shirley says he is for sure The Greatest Showman, and that she and Motsi are holding back tears - and she also wants to take a moment to congratulate Amy on making the final for the first time and all the work she's done with Karim. That sets Amy off, of course. Quick, Bruno, say something before Tess does that voice again! Bruno says he danced like an angel, and it's so good to see a young man being so honest and truthy in his artistic expression. Craig thought it was a very technically demanding routine, but they were out of sync with each other when they were in the fountain - but he loved the theatre, the storytelling and the emotion in it.

Claudia tells Karim that she was watching him dance, but with her other eye she was watching his mum and sister in the audience. Karim says it's a dream come true to get this far, and he just wanted to make his family proud and encourage everyone out there to dream big. Scores: Craig 9, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39. Karim's a bit overcome and jokes that it's the glitter in his eye. Claudia notes how enthusiastically Gorka was receiving those scores and says that everyone needs a Gorka in their corner. I could do with a Gorka in my c--[yes, that's QUITE enough, thank you. - Ed]. Karim says that the jive was an easy pick for his final dance, not just because he loved it but also because they got such a good response to it the first time they did it.

Emma & Anton: Showdance

Emma says that as a viewer, you can't wait to see what the couples are going to do for their showdance in the final. She doesn't mention that after seeing them you often wonder why you bothered getting excited in the first place, but maybe her typical viewing experience is different from mine? Anton says that their showdance will be pure showbiz, with a middle section that properly channels Fred 'N' Ginge with some cane work. In rehearsals it does look a bit slapdash, and Emma is a bit worried about dropping it and keeping the rhythm between the cane and the rest of her. Tess and Claudia come to visit and tell Emma that she does Hollywood glamour so well. Emma admits to being terrified about having to do three dances, but she's trying not to think about that too much. Claudia asks what their highlights were, and Emma says Anton getting his first 10s at Blackpool, and also that moment in Movie Week when Craig thought Anton had fake teeth in. You know, it's little moments like that with Emma where the true superfan shines through - seeing that she enjoys the silly side of the show as well as the glamour and the sequins, and I wish we'd had a few more moments like that in this series, but ah well. Emma says that whatever happens, she just wants to enjoy every second and entertain the audience.

They're dancing to 'Let Yourself Go' from the 1936(!!!) musical Follow The Fleet. Emma is lowered down on a crescent moon to start her dance atop a podium (so it's basically the elimination sequence from Over The Rainbow, but reversed) and Anton makes his way slightly awkwardly up some rather steep-looking steps to join her. (Small point: what the Lisas have done to Emma's hair and make-up for this number makes her look uncannily like Angela Rippon.) They're a little bit out of sync [You are being generous, they were out of sync pretty much the whole routine - Rad] heading down the stairs to the floor, and what they do when they get there is fairly uninspiring, it's just fairly generic-feeling ballroom. It livens up a bit when the canes arrive (and Emma does not drop it, hooray) but the sync issues persist and the whole thing just feels very under-rehearsed indeed. I'm torn, because while it was arguably more coherent and cohesive than Anton's previous attempt at a showdance, at least that had some camp value to recommend it. This just felt a bit insipid.

Tess sadly lets the opportunity for any jokes about the two of them "caning it" pass her by, and Shirley says that the routine took them back in time - she says that having to cope with a prop when you're moving is always difficult, but she really enjoyed watching it. Bruno says that you can't go wrong when you go the classic Hollywood way and get the feel of it right. Well, yes, it is quite hard to go wrong when you get something right, but thanks Bruno. Craig says they came down the stairs at different times and he can't imagine that was planned (Anton insists that it was, because Anton), but he loved that set, in fact he had it for his 50th birthday. Bruno snarks "that was 10 years ago!", and everyone falls about laughing. Craig recovers in time to say that he loved the full-on Hollywood style of it. Motsi says there were maybe some nerves in there, but Emma didn't need to worry about anything - it was one of those good old dances and Emma had the glamour, the glitz and the glory. 

They Fred 'n' Ginge up to the Clauditorium where Emma makes sure to thank Bill Deamer and Kylie WhoDoesntGetASurname for their choreographic services. She says that she was quite nervous and she did "get the collywobbles at the top on the moon", and honestly if I'd heard her say "collywobbles" on the night that would have been worth at least one vote from me, but I missed it - sorry Emma. Scores: Craig 8, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 38. I like how the judges' scores are "only for guidance" tonight and Motsi, Shirley and Bruno seem to just be giving us the guidance of "vote for everyone!". [This was a 6 at best, or maybe an 8 with final inflation. Every non Craig judge is thus cancelled forever. Just because something is in the final doesn't mean you have to 10 it. Thank fuck final scoring is about as much canon as a  Donny 10. And even Donny wouldn't 10 this - Rad]

Kelvin & Oti: Showdance

Tess says that it's taken months of work from Oti to get Kelvin (actually she calls him "Kevin" at first) to look this good. Huh, I thought that was just the gym. In the audience behind her, incidentally: Yvette Cooper MP, Ed Balls, Joe Sugg, Stacey Dooley. In their VT, Kelvin frets that giving Oti free rein to do a showdance isn't a great idea, because she could come up with anything. And I'll admit, I wasn't particularly fond of her previous attempt. He's also quite concerned about the six styles of dance she's lobbed into this routine: charleston, tango, jive, "Argentinian" tango, jumping, lifting, skipping, moonwalking, flying press-up-ing... so what I'm taking from this is that Kelvin is not great at (a) counting or (b) knowing what constitutes a "style of dance". Oti is really excited to show how far Kelvin has come, but Kelvin's worried about the speed and the sheer number of transitions between styles. Tess and Claudia turn up for their sneak preview, and play "spot which dance Oti took this move from". Oti calls it a "Strictly jukebox" of a routine, and Kelvin says that he does get nervous, but he just finds a character and loses himself in that performance. 

They're dancing to 'Shout' by the Isley Brothers (not the Bloody Lulu version) and I wonder if the character Kelvin has found for this dance is "Karim Zeroual", because good golly gosh it is a lot of unharnessed energy exploding off my screen. I do think in all honesty Oti has choreographed slightly more into this routine than Kelvin can keep up with, but I also think that that they get away with it because of the charisma and chemistry that they generate when they perform together. The choreography is choppier than I'd like (and honestly I'm really not a fan of "greatest hits" style showdances regardless of who's doing them) but it definitely feels like the biggest crowdpleaser of the three we've seen tonight, so I totally get why Oti did it this way. [I did not care for the other two showdances at all so this was the easy winner for me in this round - Rad]

Bruno declares himself "rocked, shaken, stirred, exhilarated" - either that, or he's just placing his mid-show drink order. He says it was like watching 13 weeks of "the best of Strictly Come Dancing" condensed into one dance, and says they couldn't possibly ask for more content from him. Craig says he loved every single bit of it. Motsi says she can usually go on about things (and how!) but she has no words tonight. She's such a proud big sister! Shirley says that Kelvin pushed the limits, and the routine had everything in it. Just as Kelvin promised!

In the Clauditorium, Oti says that she didn't make it easy because this is the one chance to show how good their celebrity has become, and she wanted to make the most of it. Kelvin's dad Warren was in tears, and apparently not because his son was bullying him this time. Claudia says that it's time to look at the leaderboard and there's a brief awkward silence before Oti very politely corrects her: "the scores". Claudia says that's a very good point, and it's a good job Oti's here because the leaderboard isn't even ready. Hee! So, that score then: all 10s for a perfect 40. Kelvin says that it feels incredible, and everyone's been so good tonight. We're reminded that that Kelvin was a last-minute sub (Claudia: "You were just walking outside the studio, and we said we'll get him in", which is a casting process I think could be equally true for about half of this year's celebs). Kelvin says that to come in as a replacement and make it to the final was something he couldn't have imagined.

Second Round Leaderboard (for real this time)

1=. Karim & Amy - 40 + 39 = 79

1=. Kelvin & Oti - 39 + 40 = 79

3. Emma & Anton - 39 + 38 = 77

So Kelvin moves up to tie with Karim and Emma slips slightly further behind. But it's still all to play for! Claudia warns us that they are experiencing a high volume of votes tonight, so if viewers are having trouble registering their votes online, they could consider calling instead. (This was, incidentally, the first final I can remember where I didn't bother calling to vote for anyone. Once I'd used up my online votes, that was me done.) [I did use my online votes but I really wasn't that arsed about any of the finalists this year. - Rad]

Karim & Amy: Favourite Dance

Karim says in his VT that this has been the best experience of his life, and he owes it all to Amy (dirty bit). Amy says that Karim makes her incredibly proud, and she believes he was born to perform. Amy lists the contemporary routine (the first one) as a particular standout of the competition, and Karim's mum Carol says that she's the proudest mother in the world. His sister Lianne is proud to be his sister too. Karim says that he loved all of his dances, but they could only have picked the jive for their final performance, because he wants to make people happy and entertain them. He adds that Amy has been not just a teacher but an amazing friend and he's really going to miss her. Amy sobs that she's so proud of him. Karim says that everything he does from now on is thanks to Amy. Like... in life, forever? Blimey. I think maybe the final came at the right time for these two, they need some time apart.

It's interesting that in our second reprisal from Musicals Week, I don't really see the same problems that Emma and Anton had. There are occasional moments where the stage looks a little empty without the extra dancers, but the two of them always were the stars of this routine and they don't need any support to recapture the magic of the first time round - plus they don't have any lifts to rechoreograph, which can only help. I still don't know if I would put this on my list of Greatest Jives Ever In Strictly History, but it feels like the right note for Karim to end on, both competitively and personality-wise.

Craig tells Karim that he reminds him of himself, and it's like looking in a mirror. Also the routine was "ah-may-zing". Motsi doesn't think Karim could have done anything better in this final. Her scores certainly reflect that too. Shirley doesn't want to talk about his dancing (on this show? Heaven forfend!) but says she will leave after this show feeling totally inspired by Karim, who "give(s) so much to the young generation watching this show". Bruno says that seeing this again proves that he's always right, and it really is The Best Jive Ever - he could hear all the professional boys up in the gallery going mad for it, because what Karim did was as good as anything they could do. Karim shakes his head; Kevin does a "we're not worthy" bow in response. 

Claudia reminds us that 13 weeks ago Karim had "never danced on that floor before" (lol) and Karim says that it's been so much fun and it's a privilege to be here. Score: another perfect 40. Claudia asks Karim what he'd like to say to Amy, and Karim thanks her for the ups and downs and for keeping him strong through those dips into the bottom two - she sees something in him that no one else sees and he wants to thank her for that. Tearfully. That darned glitter!

Emma & Anton: Favourite Dance

Emma says she has loved every single second of it, and Anton says that she's a wonderful person who's been the most incredible partner. Emma particularly enjoyed BLACKPOOL, and being responsible for Anton's first [and last? - Rad] 10s. She gets misty-eyed thinking about how Penny and Dave (her parents) have been there every week, and how much that's meant to her. Penny and Dave tell us how very proud they are of their daughter. Emma says that having her last dance with Anton will be very sad and she's been very lucky to get to dance with him. Anton's attempt to say the same sort of thing begins "my love, when this is all done..." and sounds uncannily like someone's video will. He says that this Strictly experience is really about her (EXCUSE ME WHILE I LAUGH HEARTILY AT THIS) but she's made it wonderful for him too. They're reprising their Viennese waltz from week four, and Emma hopes everyone at home will see a massive improvement in it. (Previous score: 35.) 

They're dancing to 'Send In The Clowns' again, of course, and I can definitely see a significant improvement in Emma's ballroom technique, which is lovely - although it does look like she loses her balance in a few places. The most important thing about this routine, though, is that it contains more HAM than a deli counter and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even Catherine Zeta Jones, previous holder of the award for the most overacting done in conjunction with this song, is looking on all "dial it down a bit luv, OGGY OGGY OGGY". 

Motsi says that after all of the jumping around and going crazy today, it was great to see something like this. Yes, definitely no sign of anyone going crazy here. Shirley thought it was beautifully poised and presented, and the cuddle at the end brought a tear to her eye. Bruno says that the storytelling was immaculate and says that there wasn't anything in the subtext that he couldn't see. That's because it wasn't subtext, Bruno, it was SUPERTEXT. That dance has just replaced Angie Jordan as spokesperson for the Ham Council. Anyway, he loved Emma's musicality, her phrasing and her finishing. Craig says that she missed a couple of heels on her pivot turns, but he has to agree with the others: it was class beyond class and "gawjuss".

In the Clauditorium, Claudia says "you're our superfan" and Emma giggles "I know!" Heh. She says she loved every minute of it, and in some ways she wishes there was a dance-off so she could do it again. Claudia: "No, we're going to the pub, babes." Scores: Craig 9, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39. Claudia asks Emma what she wants to say to Anton at this point and a clearly very emotional Emma sniffs her thanks to "the king of ballroom" for letting her be his queen for the last three months. Claudia goes into her next link but is thrown off by Catherine cry-sniffing loudly next to her, because everyone's just gone by this point. (Me too, but I'm crying because until this moment The Viscountess had the top score for the Viennese waltz across the series and now she's lost it at the eleventh hour.) [Yeah, just don't count the final, it's still good. - Rad]

Kelvin & Oti: Favourite Dance

In his VT, Kelvin says that being a part of this show has been amazing, and he's learned so much more than dance. Oti says that Kelvin has the biggest heart, and he lays it out on the floor every Saturday night. His heart? Sounds messy. They've chosen their week one samba to do as their last dance, which is a nice little bookend. Kelvin's wife says that watching him dance makes her fall in love with him over and over again. Kelvin says that he's going to miss Oti, and he couldn't have asked for a better partner and friend. Oti says she just wants him to go out there and revel in the moment. Oti cries a bit in rehearsal as Kelvin thanks her for everything, and they leave the training room for the final time.

So yes, That Samba indeed. Obviously it doesn't have quite the surprise value now that we all know what Kelvin's capable of, and I think he might even have danced it better the first time round, but as a coda to The Kelvin Fletcher Dance Experience it's everything you could ask for, really. Tight shirt, even tighter trousers, those hips, and Oti at her absolute Oti-est.

Shirley wonders what part of his body doesn't move. STEADY, SHIRLEY. Bruno thinks Kelvin is the samba king and says that this was the crowning glory of a spectacular night, and the things he did with his "bum, hips etc" (I loved them on The X Factor) are mesmerising. Bruno signs off by saying he hopes people appreciate what Kelvin has achieved over the last 13 weeks. Craig says he had a small problem with the bounce action, but he's prepared to overlook it - he thinks they were brave to choose to do the samba ("and the rumba!" adds Bruno, even though that choice was neither Kelvin's not Oti's) and they smashed it. Motsi wraps it up by saying that samba has been the death dance of this competition, but here comes Kelvin giving a samba of the highest standard right here in the final.

In the Clauditorium, Oti says that it was really difficult to work on this in training because every time she heard the song it would make her cry: it shows how far Kelvin has come. Scores: Craig 9, Motsi 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 39. Claudia prompts Kelvin to say something nice about Oti and he comes over all "teacher at parents' evening" by telling her she's a credit to the school show and to all her family and friends. He thinks she's a beautiful and talented person, and it's easy to see why she's such a fan favourite. Aww, that really was nice.

Final leaderboard

1. Karim & Amy - 40 + 39 + 40 = 119

2. Kelvin & Oti - 39 + 40 + 39 = 118

3. Emma & Anton - 39 + 38 + 39 = 116

The Filler

First of all: what the fans up and down the country will remember most about this series. We hear from the handful of people who loved "have-a-go hero" Mike Bushell, including some people who loved his Carlton tribute dance. I guess they had to be out there somewhere? Dan Walker and Louise Minchin think Mike finished in style with that conga. One man reminds us that James Cracknell was an inspiration, and indeed that he was ever on this show in the first place. Amy from Love Island loved Kelvin and Oti, some pilots liked Anneka descending on that rope ladder, Ellie Taylor loved watching Chris and was surprised how good he looks in pink trousers. One man likes Bruno because he's flamboyant, a woman in a nail salon loved Catherine's charleston, a Geordie lad loved David James, particularly as Batman, another dude like The Viscountess doing Downton Abbey, Hacker T Dog says Shirley is a very technical judge, Mollie King loved seeing Dev as the Genie, a couple on the street loved Will and Janette's contempowaft, a nurse at Great Ormond Street cites Will as an inspiration to all the kids there. Marian Keyes loves Motsi, a group of women in a choir think she made herself at home on the show instantly, two other women liked Saffron and AJ's waltz, Anna Richardson loves Hallowe'en week, Mel Giedroyc loved Michelle vogueing, some women were empowered by Alex's paso, some older ladies liked Emma's American smooth, Jake Wood loved seeing Emma get her first 10s, a group of people sing the praises of the pros and their group dances, particularly Johannes in his heels and Craig doing Hello, Dolly!. There's love for Karim's jive from several corners, people think the standard of dancing has been very high, someone lies that Tess and Claudia look fabulous every week, and then we're out of there. Phew!

Next, we have Taylor Swift, performing 'Lover' from her album Lover. I assume it was nice, but her mic level was set so low I could hardly hear her. She's accompanied by AJ and Dianne, Aljaž and Janette, and Graziano and Luba, all wearing different outfits from the ones they were wearing in the Clauditorium a few moments ago, so I think we can safely assume this was a pre-record. There's a great moment, incidentally, when it cuts back to the Clauditorium and Graziano quickly realises he's on camera, having apparently teleported back up the stairs and got changed again along the way, so he hides behind Johannes. Bless. 

And the vote is closed! While it's being verified, we hear from this year's eliminated celebrities one last time: Chris says it has blown him away, Dev says the launch show feels like a lifetime ago, Mike remembers the lights being on and the music pumping, and Catherine remembers Kylie being there. [As you would. I knew Catherine was the best one - Rad] Chris remembers walking on with The Viscountess and asking her to do a twirl because he couldn't dance. There are reflections on how hard the training is in the build-up to week one (David recalls spending 11 hours in the training room and only leaving twice: once to go to the loo and once to go home). Alex was proud to open the very first show, Will loved his first dance, Catherine wanted to do her dance all over again afterwards, Anneka thinks she was good at the stamina but not the finesse, Dev and The Viscountess remember being judged for the first time, and Catherine adds that it's an honour to be critiqued by them. Will's favourite moment was his contemporary dance, David's was being Batman, Dev's was the street/commercial, Mike loved coming down the pole as Magic Mike, Alex loved getting to do Beyoncé at Blackpool. Saffron says that the longer you're on the show, the longer you want to last. Dev says it's like being on the best holiday ever and having to go home early while all your friends get to stay. Everyone is very glad that they did it and will never forget it. Michelle wants to do it again, even if she has to change her name. 

And so: the final group performance! Full credit to whoever selected the music for this one by the way because it is full of stone-cold bangers: it opens with 'Love Really Hurts Without You' by Billy Ocean as Luba and James make some pancakes, then Anneka is flocked by eligible gentlemen with feather fans, Dev and Dianne dance on a sofa and then she somersaults over him by sticking her vagina in his face, and David gingerly lifts Nadiya and spins her around. It then shifts to the Steps version of 'Chain Reaction' as Catherine and Johannes do some charleston highlights while Kevin and Giovanni queen it up royally behind them while dressed as nail tecs, and in my favourite segue of the night, the towels from the salon are passed along a line into the Downton laundry where The Viscountess and Aljaž are foxtrotting (and a sharply-dressed Gorka is pulling lots of faces while all the towels are being handed to him). Will and Janette then enter with their glittery table tennis "10" paddles - not particularly dancing, I assume on doctor's orders. Mike is lowered down in his fireman-stripper jacket because this man cannot be allowed his dignity, and does a bit of cha cha cha with Katya. Amazingly, the music then switches to 'Glamazon' by RuPaul as Michelle comes out with Nancy and Karen (whose hair looks especially amazing throughout, we have no choice but to stan) and does a bit more vogueing. Then the music becomes 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody' as Saffron and AJ get their showcase spot, followed by Alex and Neil in front of their church choir (again, Gorka pulling particular focus by camping it up). Then it becomes 'Uptown Funk' as Chris appears right in front of the camera to join Karen for a little reprise of his salsa, just before everyone flocks to the front of the judges' desk for the big final pose. Honestly? I loved that. A reminder that, while this is unlikely to go down in my list of most fondly-remembered series, it really did have a very solid, very likeable cast on board. I felt more moved by this than I did by anything any of the finalists did tonight, and I'm quite tempted to watch it again. [Yeah, it was fun in a slightly dull final overall - Rad]

It's almost time to reveal the winner, but first: a trailer for the Christmas special. It features Mark Wright wiggling his arse, if that's your kind of thing. Claudia's back in the Clauditorium afterwards with the class of 2019, and asks Anneka what it's like being back: Anneka says they haven't really been away because they've formed a rejects' group and met up for tea parties. Claudia asks if Catherine and Johannes are still close, and she says that if she has another baby, he's going to be her birthing partner. So that'll be a yes, then? Mike says he's been trying to get other people to do the samba, and got 100 people doing a conga in the pub in his village. Michelle's husband is in the audience, wearing a scarf but not crying. Claudia tells Dev that he left too soon, and Dev says it feels like the last day of university. Will confirms that his rehab is going well and he's training for Tokyo.

Time for one more trailer, this time for series two of The Greatest Dancer, now featuring Matthew Morrison's terrifying moustache and Todrick Hall. Then we get a last VT featuring the judges: Motsi says her first year has been really fun, Bruno thinks everyone in the final has the talent and the ability to win, Craig thinks Karim has been the best technical dancer, and Bruno likes that he's as strong in ballroom as he is in latin. Shirley remembers that Karim's charleston was off the charts. Craig thinks Emma has grown so much, Shirley was worried about Emma's confidence, but somewhere around the mid-part she started to pick up on that front. Motsi is very happy that Emma made the final, and Bruno likes that she knows how to sell a performance. Craig thinks Kelvin surprised all of them, Bruno thinks he's built like a superhero and that's why it's so surprising when he is so deft and light on the dance floor. Shirley loves his energy, his charisma and his work ethic, and Motsi couldn't believe it when she saw him doing the jive. 

Finally, it's time to find out who our winners are. The votes have been counted and verified, and the champions are: Kelvin and Oti! They dissolve in shock and Karim is right there to hug Kelvin but seems to be yanked back by someone (it can only be Emma or Anton, I guess, given where everyone's standing) who has presumably worked out that the cameras need to get these two in close-up right now without any interlopers. We also get a shot of Motsi's reaction at her little sister winning, and Kelvin's dad Warren in tears. Kelvin says that he's speechless, and he didn't expect it - he thinks this show represents everything that's amazing about this country (hmmm) and it's been a privilege. There's time for a very quick word with our runners-up: Karim has loved every second of it and it's an honour to share the floor with Kelvin and Oti. Emma says she'll miss it so much, and tells Kelvin and Oti how much they deserve the win. Aww, everyone's so civilised, it's lovely. (Also I suspect both Karim and Emma fully expected Kelvin to win and had their gracious runner-up speeches prepared in advance.) [Oh for sure, it was the biggest foregone conclusion since, well, Joe McFadden prob - Rad] Kelvin thanks Oti for the amazing experience, and thanks Emma and Karim, Anton and Amy, all the pros and celebrities, the production team, the judges, and everyone at home. Oti is crying a lot and says that she has never met a celeb in all her time on the show who gives as much time and soul to the dance as Kelvin does. Sucks to be Danny Mac right now, I guess. The rest of the cast run on to the floor to congratulate them and lift them into the air, and Tess and Claudia can just about plug the Christmas special one last time over all the screaming before the band plays 'We Are Family' to see us all out.

I'm happy enough with that outcome, incidentally. I voted for Karim but I knew he wouldn't win, and of the two that stood a chance I just didn't feel like Emma was at the level of a winner, so Kelvin and Oti as the winners feels right. I may not be able to get on board with Kelvin (not even so much for the Brexit thing, more because he deleted all his tweets about it when he got cast on this show), but Oti definitely deserves it. Although I imagine it's a bit awkward for the casting woman that the guy who wasn't even on her original final list ended up winning the whole thing...

And that's it for another year! Thank you, as ever, for sticking with us through everything and for all of your comments and feedback. We will, at some point, be back with the Christmas special, but until then, have a great Christmas and we hope to see you back here in 2020! (Ringers for Johannes, Nancy, Luba, Karen and Gorka please.)