Surrender, Dorothy

 Week 5: Top 8 Results - 22 November 2020

We open on a pro dance to 'Chasing Cars', led by Giovanni and Dianne and set in some sort of flower garden and involving a lot of dancing indoors with umbrellas up, which must be very bad luck, surely? Maybe this is what provoked that 'rona outbreak that did for Nicola and Katya? Still, it's a very sweet and charming and only slightly syrupy number that's quite reassuring after a lot of the previous evening's excess.

Tess and Claudia are summoned once again. Daly Dresswatch: a dark spaghetti-strap top and plum-coloured trousers. What Winkleman's Wearing: a solid black two-piece with shoulder pads. Tess reminds us that last night's show was a tribute to Blackpool (most of the time), and Claudia lets it be known that we shall lose one more couple tonight. The judges return: Shirley's swapped for a strapless black top, Craig now has a pattern-print on his jacket, and Anton looks much the same. 

Coming up later: Billy Ocean and Virtual Motsi, but first: Bruno's recap of Saturday night. In terms of previously unseen moments: Bill is really pleased with Craig's comments because it shows that his attention to detail paid off, Bruno thinks JJ had so much content in his routine but he handled it so well, JJ feels incredible and had a lot of fun, Caroline and Johannes are still giggling backstage, Clara admits her routine wasn't technically perfect but she had a laugh, Bruno thinks HRVY showed a lot of passion and purpose and really became a new persona, HRVY is thrilled with the feedback he got from Shirley, Bruno says Maisie left him spinning like a Blackpool waltzer, Maisie thinks that was the best she's done that routine, Ranvir hasn't quite taken in that she got a 10 yet, Bruno thinks Jamie has been unleashed, Karen is proud of Jamie for getting two 10s and a 9, and Bruno thinks everybody raised their game.

Tess has the Cue Cards Of Doom, and away we go: Ranvir and Giovanni are safe, as are Jamie and Karen, and Bill and Oti. The first couple in the dance-off is... Caroline and Johannes. Both of them look as if, not that they were expecting this outcome exactly, but that they aren't overly surprised by it nonetheless. [I blame the way her tongue was doing the 'durrr' expression the whole time except for when ahe was licking JoJo, it was just an odd choice - Rad] Tess asks Caroline how she's feeling, and she says she likes dancing, so she's happy to do it again - she wouldn't choose to be here, but it's okay. Tess asks Shirley if she has any advice for Caroline, and Shirley says she is surprised to see Caroline here, despite the fact that (a) Caroline was second from bottom on the leaderboard and (b) Shirley herself gave Caroline her second-lowest score of the night. I mean, I know they like to talk about how everyone is great and no one deserves to go home, but simple logistics mean that two people have to be in the dance-off every week, and the couples who are in the bottom two spots on the leaderboard are in more danger than most. Anyway, Shirley tells Caroline to go out, give it her all and remember that it's not over until it's over.

From there we cut to the Clauditorium and the head of the chatterpillar, which this week is Ranvir and Giovanni. Ranvir talks a lot about Blackpool Week being this mythical thing that she never thought she'd get to, never mind get through it. This is still so weird to me, because none of you are in Blackpool. I know they're not in a cinema for Movie Week and they're not in a theatre for Musicals Week, but Blackpool Week is so-called because it takes place in Blackpool, Blackpool is not a theme in and of itself. (Breathe.) Ranvir talks a bit more about how transformative the process of getting your hair and costume together is, and then they move on to make room for Bill and Oti. Claudia remarks that Janet Jackson has expressed her enjoyment of Bill recently (she has indeed!), but Bill confirms that his main goal is to impress Oti. He says she brings out all kinds of other qualities in him like determination, strength and self-belief, and that really helps him to push through those long days. Oti says that Bill really pushes himself, and this Saturday was the first time that they were both really nervous. Bill says that opening the show was a lot of pressure, and this was the most nervous he has been so far. Next week Bill's got the jive. Bringing up the tail-end are Jamie and Karen: Jamie still can't believe that any of this happened. Karen says that at the beginning of the week she thought it was going to be a very long week and she never thought for a second they would be getting 10s, but she knew Jamie had it in him to produce a great dance. Jamie jokes about feeling like he needs to give his little brother's clothes back.

Now Billy Ocean is here to perform a medley of his greatest hits beginning with 'Love Really Hurts Without You'. Billy Ocean is 70 now, can you believe it? As he segues into 'Red Light Spells Danger', Graziano and Nadiya arrive to leap and jive around the floor, closely followed by Neil and Nancy. Then we hit 'When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going', but sadly there is no time for 'Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car'. Boo.

After that, Claudia's with the judges, and the first thing Claudia wants to know is whether Motsi would have given Jamie a 10 as well. Regrettably, Motsi confirms that she would have done just that: she feels like Jamie is having such a fun time on the show, he danced well, he was living in the moment, and they were in sync. Anton is here to talk about Ranvir and Giovanni, and he says he was drawn into their story - the atmosphere that they created overrode everything else. [Including the actual dancing, apparently - Rad] Shirley is asked about Caroline's legs, and Shirley says that she uses the inside edges of her feet well - and what's more, she has an amazing glow so she never looks under pressure. Claudia wants to know more about Maisie's isolations, and he explains that it's about separating the hips from the ribs - and he can demonstrate if they would like him to. Of course they do, and Claudia whoops with delight as he does so. Claudia asks Anton if he's enjoyed his judging stint, and he says it was an honour and a pleasure to cover for Motsi, and now "the seat, my love, is yours". Yes, it is. It always was her seat, you were just filling in. It's really not your place to glibly bequeath it back to her, you goon. [Preach - Rad] Claudia asks Craig to tell Anton he did a good job, and Craig tells him he was fab-yew-lous.

Tess is back with the Cue Cards Of Doom, and ready to reveal who will be joining Caroline and Johannes in the dance-off. The first safe couple is Clara and Aljaž, both of whom seem pretty shocked by this turn of events. I'm surprised too, on two counts: one, that I genuinely thought they'd be in the dance-off, and two, in the unlikely event that they weren't, I assumed they would at the very least be left for last to be declared safe. Maybe they decided, given Clara's tendency to get the vapours during this part of the show every week, that they didn't want to be liable for her having a literal heart attack? I could understand that. Anyway, Clara and Aljaž are safe, and shocked, and grateful. Joining them in next week's show are HRVY and Janette. So that leaves JJ and Amy, and Maisie and Gorka. The couple in the bottom two tonight is... Maisie and Gorka. Oh god, poor Maisie. It's one thing to be thrown into the bottom two early on, but to not get a bottom-two bounce with the public when you were joint-second on the leaderboard the week after? That's got to hurt. (I feel bad, too, because I was planning to vote for Maisie this week, but then I mobilised every vote I had to save Clara, who I thought was in a far more dangerous position.) JJ and Amy are safe, but clearly feel like they're in no position to celebrate. [I voted for Maisie this week because I suspected this might happen. But also Clara and Caroline so I wouldn't have helped much - Rad]

Maisie and Gorka head over to talk to Tess, and Gorka takes on the responsibility of doing the talking, which I think he's doing deliberately to avoid Maisie having to talk about something that's clearly upsetting. To her credit, Maisie is keeping it together, she's smiling and giggling, but there's no way this doesn't sting. At this point I'm acutely aware that she is 19, and god knows I would have been a mess at that age if I'd been doing something like this and had it made very clear to me two weeks in a row that I wasn't getting many votes. Tess asks Craig to weigh in, and he tells Maisie she'll be incredible again "as long as Gorka doesn't throw you too much like a torpedo in that lift". Craig then goes off down an ill-advised little cul-de-sac about how sometimes it takes a long time on this show to win the hearts and minds of the nation, and to look at someone like Alesha, who was in the bottom two and went on to win. I feel like Alesha is not a particularly relevant example, because she was in the bottom two once, in the quarter final, when there were only four couples remaining and it was a week where one of the nice young men in the cast was at the top of the leaderboard and the other one had had a complete woobie meltdown and given up in the middle of a dance. Ore might have been a better example, as someone who was in the bottom two (a) early and (b) twice, but then even he didn't have to sustain two consecutive weeks in the dance-off. 

Claudia returns to the chatterpillar, and Clara tells her that she'd basically made her peace with the fact that she was going home, so she's very thankful to the viewers for voting to keep her around. Next week she'll be doing Tina Turner, and judging by the way she announces it, it looks like yet another 'Proud Mary' jive is on the cards. HRVY and Janette are up next, and HRVY admits to not liking the tango at all, but says that Janette was incredible and acted as his counsellor all week. Janette adds that everyone is so good this year, and anyone could be going home at any point. JJ and Amy bring up the rear (madam), and JJ says once again that it was a beautiful routine and he loved dancing it. Next week he will be wearing a kilt, though to what precisely end I do not know. [So that all of Scotland votes for him, have you learned nothing from our X Factor days? - Rad]

Following the obligatory reminder to check out It Takes Two, the official Strictly podcast, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and A Bunch Of Drag Queens Sittin' Around Talkin', it's time for the dance-off. Maisie and Gorka are up first, and maybe it's just me but there just feels like a huge cloud of sadness hanging over the whole routine? Like, they're smiling and cheerful and still giving it their all, but I think the spark behind the eyes has gone out for both of them. On the bright side, they get a chance to re-do that botched lift and do it properly this time. After that, Caroline and Johannes reprise their cha cha cha, with the air of a couple who know full well that they're going home and just want to enjoy their last dance together. Intriguingly, they have excised the bit where she licks his arm and gone for a bit where she just sort of leans in for a kiss instead. 

Now that all is said and danced, it's over to the judges to determine who gets another week in the competition. Craig says he loves both couples, but one couple was outstanding and danced like their lives depended on it: Maisie and Gorka. Anton thought both couples danced beautifully, but one couple was a bit cleaner, so he would also like to save Maisie and Gorka. So Caroline and Johannes are out, and Shirley agrees she would have saved Maisie and Gorka too.

Tess asks Caroline if she's fulfilled her dream of becoming a dancer, and Caroline replies that she's done more than that - she's had the honour and privilege of working with some of the greatest dancers in the country, but the greatest gift of all was Johannes himself. We look back over her time on Strictly, including that point during the first show where she was in tears the whole time. Caroline has loved working with Johannes, and Johannes says that he's really found a friend in her. Back in the studio, Caroline asks Tess if she gets to keep Johannes, and Tess says sadly not, but asks if Caroline has anything to say to Johannes. Caroline replies, "lots of things, hopefully over the rest of my lifetime". Aww. Johannes thanks Caroline repeatedly and says he had a beautiful journey with her. Full credit to Johannes for remaining his dignity while being eliminated in a cheap fireman's hat, that's for sure. Also next year, he has my full backing to skip the cha cha cha, or do it in week one when there's no elimination.

Next week, it's NotBlackpool Hangover Week, which Rad has the joy of recapping, and noted tax dodger Gary Barlow will be performing on the results show.  [Fuuuuuu...  - Rad] Caroline and Johannes have their final dance to 'Don't Stop', and once again their last dance is the last thing we see, there's no interviews with the contestants about next week's show. I wonder if that's just because they're being super-careful about the 'rona after the last couple of weeks and everyone just gets ushered out as quickly as possible now? Anyway, join us next week to see what the top seven get up to, and for the glorious return of Motsi Mabuse (hopefully).