Saturday 21 November 2020

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

 Monday

- Doing Strictly meant that Max got to meet the nicest people, and he got to meet Dianne. (He's going to regret phrasing it like that when he watches it back, isn't he?)
- Zoe thinks it must have been hard to follow Simpsonsdance with 'something technical'. SHADE.
- Max didn't know what "hands like spatulas" meant, and thought it might be a compliment.
- Max's favourite dance was "the last one we did". Which probably means he can't remember the names of any of them.
- Max wants Maisie to win because then he can say he got beaten 2-1 by the winner.
- We never did learn what Max's hand/wrist injury was.
- Lockdown has given Zoe 'more to jiggle' than she had before.
- Janette's family have given HRVY a nickname which she says means 'The Cuban' but no idea if she's telling the truth or not.
- HRVY can't really remember if anyone was voted out after the first show or not.
- HRVY wants to see his nans try to salsa.
- HRVY feels stronger and less "noodly" from doing the lifts.
- HRVY and Janette have tango this week.
- HRVY's tiger impression sounds like a kitten.
- It was Janette's birthday and they gave her a toy rabbit with a badly cut-out photo of Aljaž's face on.
- Aljaž laughs even when he doesn't understand the show's jokes.
- Aljaž knew Clara's charleston would be good from the first day.
- Aljaž pronounces "ghetto" like "gecko".
- For her charleston, Clara was pretending she was Josephine Baker and Betty Boop (although she said 'Betty Boo' so it's possible she was was thinking about 'Where are you Baby'... and hopefully not 'Hey DJ (I Can't Dance)')
- Craig's little 'I never want to see that again...' fake-out got Clara good.
- Clara injured her hand on Saturday but she's fine now, honest.
- Clara's mum is making sure that she and Aljaž eat their vegetables and lots of fish.
- Clara is very giddy about doing a whisk this week.

Tuesday

- Erin thought the jive would be the end for JJ but she was actually pleasingly surprised with his energy.
- Erin wants JJ to sell the dances more, even after they threw Prince Harry and a war porn at it on Saturday.
- Erin thinks the problem with Maisie's cha cha was that there weren't enough changes in pace.
- If Erin is being 'nit-pickety' she isn't a fan of HRVY's facial expressions.
- Gorka thinks celebrities struggle with cha cha because there are fewer places to hide bad technique than in the samba or jive.
- Maisie completely agrees with Craig's criticism of her being too stiff.
- Cha cha cha was Jake Wood's least favourite dance. What, even compared to Greekentine Tango?
- Nadiya has been dancing for as long as Graziano has been alive.
- Nadiya and Graziano went to visit some Ukrainian Hopak dancers and Gaziano didn't too too well standing up but was fine balancing on one arm.
- Nadiya loves spinning.
- Bill's dance forced Erin to invent a lot of versions of -ography (e.g. briefcaseography)
- If you move your weight forward in the cha cha it'll look quicker.
- Bill has become an expert on the history of pop and lock.
- Shirley was dancing along with Bill's street commercial.
- Danny Mac thought Bill's street commercial thought it was the best dance he'd ever seen on the show.
- The Wurzels are Bill Bailey fans.
- Bill loves wafting around the dance floor. Now I'm a bit gutted we were denied his contempowaft.

Wednesday

- Nicola doesn't seem to have terribly good internet at home.
- Nicola and Katya have been keeping in touch over isolation via FaceTime.
- Nicola and Katya will be back to dance one last time, not competitively. And they'll be on It Takes Two when they've finished their quarantine.
- Ian Waite is copying HRVY's haircut.
- Caroline and Johannes are doing 10-hour rehearsal days.
- Johannes has a belt with a long yellow string dangling in front of it.
- HRVY needs to drop his elbow a bit, and to look up, not down.
- Janette is the only person who can carry off beige cycling shorts.
- JJ found his uniform "heavy" to jive in.
- Amy kept count of how many times Prince Harry said her name (7).
- Amy is a little bit embarrassed about how excited she got when she and JJ were called safe at the weekend.
- Giovanni has had a sneak preview of JJ and Amy's quickstep and he was impressed.
- Giovanni likes JJ's package.
- Jamie is sweating like mad in training.
- Bill needs to alter his where his eyes are looking when he's in ballroom hold.
- Ian's gold star was for Bill this week, which is odd as he wasn't very enthusiastic about Bill's training footage.
- This weekend's pro dance is set at the beach, and Anton will be playing a tourist who gets to touch Katya's bum a lot.
- Lisa riley is team Ranvir and also apparently doesn't capitalise her surname.
- Dan Walker thinks Ranvir has always had good hips. Sexual harassment suit presumably incoming.
- Giovanni says that Ranvir's cha cha cha on Saturday was better than it was at the beginning of the week. Well, that's something.
- Ranvir openly admits her cha cha cha "wasn't good".
- Ranvir doesn't think trending on Twitter is as big a deal as everyone else on this show does.
- Giovanni and Ranvir are both confident about their Argentine Tango.

Thursday

- Caroline thinks the cha cha cha is like doing a cryptic crossword, knitting a jumper and running a bath all at the same time.
- Gorka dropped Maisie and it looked like he almost dislocated her shoulder in the process, eeep.
- Bill will be wearing a crystalled top hat on Saturday.
- It has taken wardrobe several weeks to make Maisie's salsa dress. Good job she wasn't eliminated last week then.
- Clara will be wearing a chef's jacket for her samba?!
- There were about 4800 threads of fringing on Clara's charleston dress.
- The old Guess Who pro quiz thing has been replaced by 'pro and tell' which has fewer (i.e. none) hilarious illustrations of the pros.
- Oti is the pro with the worst timekeeping.
- Johannes thinks it doesn't matter whether the chicken or the egg came first.
- Graziano is very enthusiastic about dogs.
- Nancy likes cats.
- Shirley would have saved Max because he had more 'quality'.
- Bill is the dancer who has wowed Shirley the most this year.
- Bending your legs in the jive and samba can hide a multitude of sins.
- Shirley once broke her nose during the United Kingdom championship semi-finals - the doctors patched her up and she went on to win in the finals.
- If she hadn't been a dancer, Shirley would have liked to be a politician.
- If she could dance with a member of the royal family, Shirley would pick Prince Charles because he's "so elegant and so charming".
- Shirley doesn't like pizza, and neither does Gethin.
- Shirley likes to kick a football about and she's a Liverpool fan, whilst Gethin supports Everton.
- Clara went on holiday to Brazil a few years ago.
- Caroline was disappointed with her waltz because she thought she'd do better at it.
- Johannes had to be clever in coming up with choreography that could cope with height difference.
- Caroline's cha cha cha is currently "a work in progress".
- Johannes is anxious because he got knocked out around this time last year with a cha cha cha.
- Johannes keeps calling Caroline "Catherine" in rehearsals.
- Caroline's heels smell disgusting.
- Caroline's taken to directing the camera operators.

Friday

- Jamie's shimmy came from 'the depths of hell'.
- Karen is copying JJ and wearing shorts. When will these people realise it's November?
- Gethin can't remember how much he scored for his samba.
- Karen has a long list of 'more' she wants from Jamie: more energy, more concentration, more talent...
- Jamie has a sports bra.
- Karen isn't here for soppiness.
- Michelle Visage is a Jamie fan.
- Jamie is "straight outta West Brompton".
- Karen was dancing on cardboard on the streets of the Bronx when she was 8. Jamie... was also 8 at one point.
- Tess is missing being close to Claudia.
- Tess normally looks after Claudia before the show and helps calm her nerves and Claudia misses that.
- Tess likes that the top of the leaderboard keeps changing.
- Claudia is awful at predicting who will do well in the show.
- Claudia has terrible eyesight. Can't think the fringe will be helping that.
- Claudia is settled on the 'chatterpillar' for the discussion with couples, thanks to 9-year old Kit.
- Sometimes Tess and Claudia change their minds about what they're going to wear on the show if they had a curry the night before.
- The Friday panel are Gyles Brandreth, Alexandra Burke and Bobby Seagull.
- Gyles has a special BLACKPOOL jumper.
- Bobby isn't very used to live TV.
- Gyles doesn't think JJ will be bottom of the table this week.
- Gyles thinks there'll be an erotic charge from Ranvir this week.
- Alexandra is the sort of person you need to have around when you're on live TV and there's dead air because she spots it and takes charge.
- Bobby used to have a crush on Caroline when she was in Jonathan Creek.
- Gyles is aghast that Shirley would have saved Max and Dianne and he is demanding Bonnie Langford votes for Maisie.
- Alexandra thinks HRVY looks like a professional dancer. 
- HRVY is Gyles's wife's favourite.
- Gyles doesn't think Jamie is in any way street.
- Bobby and Alexandra think JJ will be going home and Gyles thinks Jamie.

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