This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- The Strictly floor manager Alan is rather handsome.
- Brian has his eye on Tom. We bet he has.
- The people in the Strictly production gallery dance to the theme music just like we all do at home.
- Kristina wants John to learn a Latin dance.
- Gary will be knocking on Karen's door to get his chance at a ballroom routine. Karen will have locked it.
- Len and Craig think Tom's arm placement was better than Austin's.
- Claudia's mum loved Don and Lilia's tango. We are extremely taken with the idea of Eve Pollard sitting at home judging Strictly.
- Tom is getting really annoying.
- Len wants a contest to find out who the worst dancer of Strictly history is. Why he'd bother when the show keeps insisting it's Kate Garraway, despite all evidence to the contrary, is beyond us.
- Lisa has the best pair of legs Claudia has ever seen. Anton agrees, for he likes the ladies.
- Ian is hoping Jodie can produce her breast on Saturday. He claims he meant "best", but as Bucks Fizz told us, THE CAMERA NEVER LIES.
- Heather is not a storm in a teacup, she is THE EYE OF THE HURRICANE.
- Nicky Hambleton-Jones is fugly. (Actually, we already knew that, but the Friday panel just reminded us.)
- Len hates Scouting For Girls. Much as it pains us to say it: word, Len.
- Billy Ocean's 'Suddenly' makes Claudia want to poke her eye out. Word, Claudia.
- There are lots of wires under the judges' table, and Len is worried that one foot wrong could lead to him being electrocuted. We're not going to lose any sleep over it.