This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- That sound at the end of every episode of EastEnders is "doof doof doof", apparently.
- The more Len looked at Heather, the more he saw something he didn't like. Bigot.
- Jessie is In A Play which renders her unable to join Darren and Claudia on the sofas, but has taken her elimination with Kate Garraway-esque levels of good humour, so good for her.
- Craig and Len have allegedly swapped personalities - which, while deeply unlikely, would explain how Len suddenly discovered the "5" paddle under his desk this week.
- Craig has NOT been taking any kind of drugs. NONE AT ALL. Just say no. Etc.
- The other dancers have been pointing out to James that his four-week curse is actually a six-week curse, because of the double helping of single-sex rounds. Just like we've been saying for ages.
- Craig is apparently incapable of recognising Britney Spears.
- Brendan will shock us all this weekend by choreographing precisely no lifts into his and Lisa's American Smooth. Except not, because he's already told us about it now.
- Brian's parents are called Andy and Sandy. Awesome.
- Claudia would not run away if Russell Brand was chasing her around the room.
- Tom's flat is rather nice. Also, he's getting married, which is BRAND NEW INFORMATION.
- Christine has now realised the judges weren't actually that harsh to her on Saturday. Jolly good.
- The samba is one of Matthew's favourite dances because it's "loose and wiggly". No comment.
- How Jon Culshaw makes a living as an impressionist is still a mystery.
- Karen's mother told her to always keep her legs together, but she wants to have John Sergeant's babies. One of these is going to make the other very problematic.
- Rachel thinks it will be exciting when the women take on the men for the first time, despite not really being aware of what "exciting" is, aside from it being something that happens to other people.
- When Andrew steps on Ola's foot, it's her fault for being "in the way".
- The most important thing in Colin and Erin's American Smooth from series three was that at no point was Colin touching Erin's bosom. Again: no comment.