Saturday, 14 October 2017

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Aston wears his bun (man-bun is a redundant term, no?) as a top knot in training.  It does not look good.
- Oti screamed when she saw Aston in his troll make-up for the first time.
- Craig doesn't really understand the meaning of the word "surprise".
- Craig thinks he would've probably voted for Richard if he was a regular punter at home.
- Craig thinks 'everyone' should know the 10 second rule.
- Apparently the 10 Second Rule means that the contestants can be out of hold for 10 seconds at the beginning, 10 seconds in the middle and 10 seconds at the end. That is some hot, hot bullshit.
- So much so that even Craig admits he doesn't usually bother applying it. #justicefordebbie
- It seems Richard hadn't banked on being out this early because filming commitments meant he couldn't be in the ITT studio for his exit interview.
- He also got pissed with some viewers on his way to film in Glasgow, so did his interview over the phone whilst hungover.
- Dianne has been enhancing Richard's vocabulary and teaching him words like "tezza" (which I think means "terrible"?).
- Bonnie Langford has been telling Davood to practice his hip movements while brushing his teeth, but he can't do two things at once.
- Aston didn't go to the toilet all day once he was in his troll costume.
- Janette's dance teacher came to watch them on Saturday.  Bet Janette was glad it wasn't in salsa week.
- Erin loves theme weeks.
- Erin's way of pronouncing 'buttocks' is 'butt-ex'.  There's some sort of joke in there somewhere.
- Erin thinks the 'rise and fall' controversy was Brendan 'bobbing up and down' to add some flourish to the tango.
- Anton is not here for demo time.
- Ruth prefers to dance quickly to get it over and done with, so sometimes Anton has to choreograph extra steps.
- Ruth was more worried about dancing sexily in front of her son than she was about dancing sexily in front of Eamonn.
- Anton thinks that only 10,000 people are watching The X Factor. Give it a few years, he probably won't be wrong.
- Ruth's love of wigs has now extended to the point of demanding that Anton wear them.
- Erin and Oti doing 'Proud Mary' is what you never knew your life was missing.
- Erin thinks Giovanni broke the entirely real 10 second rule because he was choreographing to the music instead of arbitrary and entirely made-up legislation.
- In an American smooth, the bum goes underneath the body. That can't be right, can it?
- If you want to make an impression, wiggling your bum on the judges' table is a sign you want to stay in the competition.
- Ian and Gorka apparently buy the shirts at the same shop.
-  Zoe loves it when Giovanni is naughty. *eyebrow raise*
- Giovanni is more than happy to play by the rules in future as long as all the other pros abide by the same rules, Brendan.
- Giovanni tickles Debbie if she goes wrong in rehearsals. Get a room, you two.
- Debbie has been watching Fred’n’Ginge for inspo in the evenings
- Debbie really enjoyed filming her VT for this week. The mind boggles.
- Joe has shaved his moustache off. Sorry everyone.  (His stubble is still more facial hair than Kevin can manage though)
- Judging by Katya's outfit on Weds, she thinks Halloween has come a couple of weeks early.
- Joe turned 42 this week. Or as he prefers to call it, "35 plus VAT".
- Katya bought him a tartan belt for his birthday.
- Zoe thinks 'Cry Me a River' is a 'Michael Buble classic'.
- Ian is enjoying Brian's paso face.
- Ian thinks Aston is going to struggle with the quickstep. Then again, he said that about Chelsee in series 9.
- Alexandra and Gorka and Aston and Janette are really good friends and train together and help each other out NO RIVALRY HERE HONEST.
- Alexandra isn't sure if she's going full-on big hair for her 'Proud Mary' jive yet.
- Gorka has a lot of stamina. *theatrical wink*
- Debbie's cha cha training outfit includes a black fringe dress and enormous blingy belt over multicoloured leggings.
- Ruth and Anton's tango training footage contains a lot of rise and fall.
- Simon was pleased to be first on on Saturday to get it over with.  It, presumably, being the shame.
- Karen doesn't care about the scores, she just wants to see Simon smiling at the end of each dance.
- This series has completely broken Karen and she's pretending to be a cat woman in training.
- Simon is not built for the samba - he has childbearing hips and a static back.
- There's a move in Simon's samba that they have nicknamed "the Ricky Martin". Ricky should sue.
- Brendan thinks we should "make this about Charlotte". Sure, Brendan. You go first. Any time you like.
- Like Giovanni, Brendan is blaming the music for him breaking the rules and doing some rise and fall (that he isn't calling rise and fall, of course).
- Susan's boots were made by the original Wonder Woman bootmaker.
- Vicky is planning some fruit for Karen's samba dress.
- Aljaž thinks his charleston with Gemma was the best dance he's ever done on the show.
- Aljaž met Ryan Giggs this week because he's mates with Gemma (how? We need more information on this!) and got totally starstruck.
- Coldplay are Aljaž's favourite band.
- This show seems to think there’s a scenario in which AJ would allow the breaking of a mirror to happen. Pull the other one.
- Lots of people stopped Susan at Euston station on her way home to shout “Wonder Woman!” at her.
- Susan’s first dance at her wedding was “clompy-clompy-clompy-clompy, clompy-clompy”.
- Kevin met Susan's family this week and they're all big superfans too.
- Susan probably won't be leading any more dances because dear god they have two lady presenters and a lady gay hasn't feminism done enough damage etc.
- This week’s pro group dance is a paso set in a parallel world where Anton is the king. Presumably that was in his contract.
- Chris Hollins doesn’t have fond memories of his jive. In fact he doesn’t really have any memories of the jive and that was mostly the problem with it.
- He also hated his samba. And pretty much everything else he danced.
- And he happily calls out series 7 as the worst. I'd say series 6 was in with a chance, but it's a close call.
- Candice Brown off the Bake Off is a Debbie fan.
- The highlight of Neil’s dance career was playing an assistant lollipop.
- Karen bought Kevin a book for his birthday.
- According to Mollie, Thursday is when AJ “really goes in”. I guess those showmance rumours were true.
- Mollie is trying to channel Beyoncé for her salsa. She also thinks AJ can be Jay-Z, but I think “names that are also initials” is pretty much all they have in common.
- Katya’s training technique involves digging her nails into Joe’s flesh to make him more aware of his body parts.
- According to Anton, the tango is “walking quick to music looking a bit intense”.
- Brian cannot remember the names of Indiana Jones or the protagonist of The Wizard Of Oz.
- Brian trained for 10.5 hours on Tuesday.
- Chris Hollins has welcomed Susan into the Hobbit club.
- Louie Spence thinks Mollie and AJ should breed.
- Chris thinks Simon is going home this weekend, Candice didn’t want to say, and Louie didn’t want to say unless he was being paid.
- Gorka seems to have inherited one of Robin’s old nipple-baring vests.
- Alexandra and Gorka went to a wedding together this week. ‘Proud Mary’ came on just as they were leaving and Gorka wouldn’t let Alexandra do their routine because her heels were too big.
- Alexandra cleans on Fridays, and Janette cleans on Friday mornings while Aljaž is making breakfast.
- Alexandra spent the whole of this week's Gethin'n'Gorka moment with her arms firmly round her man.
- 'She's So Lovely' by Scouting For Girls is still the worst song ever written.


robjones75 said...

Craig says he would've voted for Richard if he was watching at home.

This is the same Craig that lectures the viewers every year about the purity of dahnce, and how we should be voting for the best dancers?

And that ten second rule guff? I know this is just Saturday night fluff, but if you're having a competition, at least be blimming consistent!

F a t i m a said...

- Shirley says "I judge each person against themselves, I'm not judging them against others, hence the scores."
If that's the case I could turn up, bend over and tie my shoelace and get a five

Soph said...

I believe Gemma once fucked Ryan Giggs

Rad said...

Fatima - don't give Karen ideas for Simon's next dance.