Friday 27 October 2017

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Brian's jokes are still as bad as they were in week one.
- Brian thanks his supporters in the tone of voice usually heard when Brendan 'thanks' the judges.
- Brian also has a daughter called Amy.  LAYERS.
- Anton had trouble getting his trousers off in the dress rehearsal. That's a good thing, right?
- Karen couldn't look at Simon during the charleston because his facial expressions made her laugh.
- Everyone was shirtless a lot backstage this week.
- Natalie Lowe has already found her perfect wedding dress.
- Natalie has also bought into this year's new RUMBA IS HARD FOR WOMEN story.
- Natalie's favourite dance is the rumba. And the waltz. And the quickstep.
- Natalie wants Alexandra to put her ankles together, which sounds very Victorian until you note that she said this whilst hitching up her already short skirt to demo.
- The charleston is yet another of Natalie's favourites.
- Dianne thinks Brendan has the worst fashion sense, Brendan and Katya think it's Anton, Karen thinks it's Neil (which is the correct answer), Neil thinks it's Kevin. But at least everyone agrees that Katya is the most obnoxious energetic.
- Gemma thinks the dress run of her foxtrot was better than the one she did on the night.
- Aljaž says you can usually 'feel the bump' in the slow dances. Especially in the trousers wardrobe like to put the male pros in.
- Aljaž is genuinely scared of Hallowe'en.
- Simon is now saying that he was won the Lumbering Old Bloke Glitterball because he beat Richard and Brian.
- Karen had no idea that Simon slipped during the dance off because he was still in time (sort of) and she had her back to him at the time.
- Just for a change, there will be food in Simon’s Viennese waltz this weekend.
- Zoe’s attempt to do an Elizabeth Montgomery nose wiggle is not the best.
- Karen does a great witch's cackle try to look surprised.
- Likewise, Oti looks right at home in a crown.
- The contestants for the Children in Need Blue Peter special are Tim Vincent, Konnie Huq, Radzi Chinyanganya, Diane-Louise Jordan, Mark Curry and Anthea Turner. They will be dancing with Dianne, Neil, Chloe, Pasha, Amy and Brendan respectively.
- Natalie's been stealing dresses from Tess's wardrobe of asymmetrical necklines.
- Natalie thinks that Mollie and Gemma are the dark horses of the competition.  Please can this be the last we hear of Gemma being a dark horse thanks.
- Aston needs to give better head.  In his waltz movements get your minds  out of the gutter.
- Zoe watched on Saturday with a friend who'd never seen the show before and didn't have a clue what was going on.
- Oti forgot the quickstep choreography in the dress rehearsal.
- Jonnie’s Hallowe’en routine has a nautical theme. Hello sailor!
- Oti thinks celebrities hate the cha cha cha because it has an unusual rhythm.  And because of everything else about it.
- Oti had a 'little moment' when she saw Jonnie wiggle his hips in rehearsals.
- Oti bought Jonnie a burger and a donut as a reward for his good work on Saturday.
- Ruth was really worried about that outfit reveal in the samba because she thought that if they messed it up it would ruin the whole thing.
- It was all done with magnets so Ruth and Anton had to be careful not to stand too close together.
- Anton's latest trick to avoid 'demo time' is to wear tight trousers and lord knows we never want to see Anton dancing in trews that reveal too much ever again.
- Debbie’s training outfits remain amazing.
- And it looks as though she's been lending some of her fabulous leggings to Oti.
- Zoe is sick of the 'flapping bird' charleston move.
- Zoe was much more composed than the rest of the country when Janette sat opposite her with her bosom on display.
- Aston misses Brian and Brian misses Aston.
- Aston is playing a matador called Antonio in his paso. It’s fine but it’s no Tallulah The Tango Queen, is it?
- Jonnie is very embarrassed about using his hips in his cha cha cha.
- Alexandra prepares to be in the dance-off every week.
- When Alexandra goes into her 'beast' alter-ego too much, her feet go wonky.
- Gorka is trying to teach Alex how to roll her 'r's. It is not going well so far.
- Alexandra has whacked Gorka in his beautiful face in training. NEVER DO THIS AGAIN.
- Davood is finding the rumba hard because he is a man.  He hasn't got this year's memo that it has suddenly become hard for women, then.
- Tameka, Kellie and Davood have a little Strictly club on the set of EE.
- The audience for this show voted for Ian to wear Frankie's Elphaba costume instead of That Thing They Did to Ore last year because they have no imagination.
- They did paint Ian several shades of green darker than Frankie but he got to wear her actual outfit, and moaned she'd 'stretched it out'.  Alright, body shamer.
- Mollie and AJ are wearing tails in training but they're just flimsy ribbons compared to the full on stuffed tights tail Gemma wore in her charleston training.
- Jason Gilkison can’t say “fleckerl” properly.
- A contra check is in every ballroom dance.
- Vicky Gill hasn't sorted her kids' Halloween outfits yet.  Presumably she'll just give them Aston and Janette's once the show is over, they'll be the right size.
- Mollie is training 12 hours a day.
- AJ lets Mollie have water occasionally, which he thinks is proof that he's 'kind of kind.'
- Mollie talks about herself in the third person during training.
- Katya is now in a polyamorous relationship with Neil, Ed Balls and Joe.  If we take comedy pre-credits skits seriously, anyway.
- Debbie can rock a black leather mini-dress.
- Giovanni and Debbie spent a lot of the week leading up to the rumba focusing on her legs.  Fnar etc.
- 'Frankie' from Sister Sledge is apparently charleston music now.  Mm-hmm.
- Giovannni is wearing the Frankenstein's monster get-up this year.  Somewhere, Pasha is breathing a sigh of relief.
- Debbie's birthday is on Halloween.
- The show's run out of Friday panellists already so has taken to bringing in this year's evictees.
- Richard Coles has started a ceroc dance class at his local working men's club - it's unclear if he's started attending or if he's actually set it up.
- Ed Balls is a fan of Ruth pulling off her dress.
- Katy Brand thinks Alexandra can do 'angry but dignified' well.
- Ed Balls and Richard Coles are in disagreement over whether the cha cha move is a 'New Yorker' or a 'New York.'
- Gethin's homoerotic backstage adventures have taken a new turn this week: flirting with leather-jacket clad Aljaž and Pasha.
- Kevin likes to do (bad) Shirley impressions.
- Susan and Kevin had a huge geek-out when they saw their GoT costumes (Daenerys and Jon Snow).
- There might be a dragon in their foxtrot.
- Ruth is not into the bits in the quickstep where you have to stop running round the floor.
- Gemma's training narratives are just a constant stream of 'harder than I thought... I thought I was fit, but...' and are getting as annoying as the 'dark horse' bullshit.  Don't make me start to hate you, Gemma.
- For those who are watching Joe's sex appeal dwindle since he shaved his tache... he has the most godawful, ill-fitting lilac and grey suit.  And it's not even a costume.
- Joe doesn't seem to know if he's doing the tour or not yet.
- Shirley started dancing at 7.
- When asked who she'd like to dance, with, living or dead, Shirley's dream would be to dance with her son, Mark.  Surely that would not be that difficult to arrange?  Or is there a story here that's best not gotten into?
- Ed Balls' biggest regret was not doing the rumba.  It's hard to tell if he's joking or not.
- Ed Balls thinks Ruth and Simon might be in the bottom two, Katy Brand thinks Simon, Richard Coles says 'no idea'.
- Jonnie loves Fridays because you don't have to do much.
- Gemma finds it hard coping with the lighting, though, and Simon with the live music.
- Simon's injured his quads.
- Clean Bandit have gone all in with a black and white theme, presumably in tribute to Giovanni and Debbie's rumba.

2 comments:

F a t i m a said...

"'Frankie' from Sister Sledge is apparently charleston music now. Mm-hmm"
A bit of a stretch for halloween also. I'd rather have had "The Monster Mash", even though it would be 93rd time.
Agreed on Joe's lilac suit. it looked like something for Thunderbirds. That isn't always necessarily a bad thing (remember Penelon), but in this case it was.

Rad said...

Where did he get it? It's the kind of syrupy thing they use for a Viennese waltz on a bad day (/when they hate the wearer).