Sunday, 18 November 2018

Gloria in excelsis

Week 9: Top 8 Perform (Blackpool Week) - 17 November 2018

During the credits for Pointless Celebrities, the continuity announcer referred to tonight's episode as "the highlight of the 2018 Strictly calendar". Does she have access to information we don't, then? Is it confirmed to all be downhill from here? Should Rad and I just give up now?

Anyway, apparently Strictly's gone somewhere up north this week as a special treat. I forget where exactly. Carlisle? Lancaster? Hebden Bridge? With any luck someone might mention where they actually are at some point this evening, though I realise it's a slim hope. We begin as usual with a big fancy welcome to Bridlington, with shots of its iconic coastline and illuminations, along with many of the local residents showing off their moves. There's a shot of a Craig Revel Horwood waxwork that's almost indistinguishable from the real thing (take that as you will), and everyone talks excitedly about how cool it is when Strictly comes to Barrow-in-Furness. Even the emergency services are dragged away from their far more important jobs to enthuse for a few seconds. Then we're suddenly inside the famous Hartlepool Tower Ballroom, as Faye says she's so excited to be here, and Lauren adds that it's even better than AJ described it. (Given that AJ struggles to talk like a real human boy at the best of times, I don't find this hugely surprising.) Ashley can feel the space, Joe finds it breathtaking, Charles doesn't think it gets better than this, Kate feels so privileged to be about to dance here, Graeme is humbled, and Stacey just wants to get stuck in because she is ready. Ready for WARRINGTON WEEK!

Titles! Oh, it's Blackpool they're in, apparently. How embarrassing for me.

From there it's into another VT (sigh) starring Anton (SIGH) heading to the beach in his Hawaiian shirt, shorts and flip flops (THIS IS VIOLENCE), and putting a bootleg tape of Gloria Estefan's greatest hits into his Walkman. 15 years' worth of BBC money and he couldn't even afford to buy a legitimate copy? Or get a Spotify account? Anyway, apparently three seconds of 'Conga' is all it takes to send him to sleep (if I were Gloria I'd be calling my lawyer right now), at which point we segue into the Tower Ballroom where all the men are in white jackets and all the women are in peach dresses with feathered headdresses and the band strikes up as Aljaž twirls around giddily with a trumpet in his hand (bless his heart) and then Kevin grabs a mic and introduces THE ACTUAL GLORIA ESTEFAN. Now that's more like it. Gloria bellows "HELLO BLACKPOOL, LET'S GO BACK TO WHERE WE FIRST MET!" and launches into 'Dr Beat'. Okay, I'm pretty sure I lived in Kent when I first heard this, and it's a bit late to be getting the train now, so I might just stay here if that's okay? Since Gloria's got a lot of hits to rattle through, we then go into 'Conga', Anton's narcolepsy be damned, and then into 'Rhythm Is Gonna Get You', which in the context of this show could be construed as a threat. As she gets to '1-2-3', the celebrities are brought out to join in the fun, then we move into an extremely uptempo 'Get On Your Feet' (which will be forever linked to this episode in my mind now) and there's a showdance showcase sort of thing from two people who look familiar but aren't part of the pro line-up, but I'm pretty sure they've guested on the show many a time. The end, ta-da! What, no 'Go Away'? Justice for 'Go Away'! [With Danny gone they probably didn't need it in the setlist any more - Rad]

Tess and Claudia arrive - Tess in a gold toga-style gown and Claudia in red sequins. Neither of these looks is a personal favourite, if I'm honest, so let's just move along. In the audience: Zoe Ball and Ian Waite, sitting together, and I for one look forward to a resurgence of the "are they shagging?" rumours from series three. Don't let me down, tabloids! Also in the audience: Natalie Lowe sitting with Dr Ranj. And now I'm pondering the possibility of Natalie having stayed on the show and being his partner this series, and how that would have made Colin Salmon and Kristina Rihanoff look like Natalie Cassidy and Vincent Simone (who, you'll recall, were exactly the same height and that's why they couldn't do lifts).

Judges? Let's have some judges. They walk out to 'Conga', yet do not do the conga. I for one am furious. And here are the remaining strictly stars: Chucky Venice and Karen Clifton, Faye Tozer and Giovanni Pernice, Stacey Dooley and Kevin Clifton, Lauren Steadman and AJ Pritchard, Joe Sugg and Dianne Buswell, Kate Silverton and Aljaž Skorjanec, Graeme Swann and Oti Mabuse, and finally Ashley Roberts and Pasha Kovalev. High kicks at the final sting this week come from Stacey and Kevin (of course) and Kate and Aljaž, though I am also quite a fan of Chucky and Karen doing the whole 'back-to-back-with-their-arms-folded' thing as a variation on the theme. Also, poor Pasha appears to be doomed to spend the evening in an apron.

Stacey and Kevin have the task of getting the Blackpool party started, and Tess informs us that Stacey will be doing a salsa and entering the ballroom riding on a sweet that's very popular around these parts. A Werther's Original, I assume. In their VT, Kevin reveals that they are dancing to 'Ooh Ahh...Just A Little Bit' by Gina G, and Stacey confirms that it is a jam-packed routine - although this appears to be Blackpool-related tat rather than content, because Kevin's going on about them having donkeys and buckets and spades in the routine. Stacey says that you can't be too laid-back in Blackpool, you have to really give it your all. Kevin suggests they go for a night on the town in Blackpool and Stacey asks if she can bring a couple of friends along, so she turns up with Katya and Amy on her arms ready to colour the town red, which is coincidentally also the colour of Kevin's face when they hit the karaoke to do their own rendition of 'Ooh Ahh...Just A Little Bit'. Let's just say it was more Jemini than Gina G. Also apparently Oti rolled up later than everyone else, which seems very Oti. The party don't start until Oti walks in!

So, yes, Stacey rides in on a giant stick of rock (Freud, field day, etc) and then spends the first third of the routine with her extremely crimped hair all over her face as she whirls around. She's definitely giving it some welly, but the technique looks a bit...inexact, to put it politely. Also, Kevin appears to have cribbed fairly liberally from Gina G's actual Eurovision choreography for the chorus - the main problem with that being is that those moves were fine when you had a microphone in one hand and had to make sure you weren't doing anything too exerting so you could focus on your live vocals, but when they form the central piece of your performance in a dance competition, it does end up looking a bit lacklustre. Johannes is absolutely getting his life throughout the entire thing though, so that makes me happy. There are some positively death-defying lifts in the middle eight, including one where Stacey wraps her ankles around Kevin's neck and gets swung around, which I think should have been ruled out both on grounds of health and safety and also on the grounds that it doesn't actually look that great either? Then it's back safely to the ground for a bit more pointing and stepping, and then up on Kevin's shoulder to finish. I quite liked it, but I can't help feeling that for someone who gets camp as innately as Kevin always seems to, this routine felt like a bit of a misfire, like it was just trying far too hard.

She looks a bit dizzy by the end, but the crowd are going wild for her, and Stacey tells Tess that she was so nervous to be opening the show. Shirley tells Stacey that she really brought it today, especially with those lifts, but she needs to work on getting her feet closed, just as a tiny detail. Bruno says it was wild and wonderful and he loved the way Stacey let her hair down. He thought the ensemble pieces were so good it was like watching Kylie in concert - "I said the same thing!" hoots Tess. [I love Stacey but that's wishful thinking.  Either that or a subtle burn on Kylie which I am very much not here for - Rad] Craig says that Stacey needs to be aware of her legs in the lifts, both in getting them in there and getting them out, because it was a bit haphazard - but he loved the hip action. Darcey says it was fun and exciting from beginning to end, and Stacey's personality just fills the ballroom. She agrees with the others though - she needs to work on her dismounts, and close her feet. Stacey replies that Darcey's right, she doesn't think she did keep her legs together, and Kevin cracks up. Oh, Kevin.

They sprint across to the Claudicornerum, and Stacey says that she felt like it was a luxury to be here and she didn't want to mess it up. Claudia also asks her about injuring one of her backing dancers (presumably in rehearsals), and Stacey says that yes, she heard a whack and a dancer called Ellis assured her that it didn't hurt even though it obviously did. Scores: Craig 7, Darcey 8, Shirley 9, Bruno 9 for a total of 33. Bruno doesn't even wait for Alan Dedicoat to say his name before whipping his nine out, someone's obviously a bit keen tonight. Stacey's pleased because it's all out of the way and now she can just watch the show.

Who's on the terms and conditions this week? It's Paddy McGuinness! He seems to think that the challenge is to say the entire thing without stopping for breath, which is interesting. He also does Claudia's link back to Tess for her, because apparently he's always wanted to do that.

Lauren and AJ are next, taking home the dubious honour of being the first couple to get the death slot twice this series. In her VT, Lauren says that last Saturday was like a fairytale for her, and she can't quite believe she got two nines. This week they've got the Argentine tango, which AJ promises will be full of big, spectacular lifts - which haven't always been Lauren's strongest suit so far, surely? AJ (wearing a t-shirt with a hole in it, did he not know he was going to be on the telly) does that weird stilted line-reading thing he does to inform Lauren that because the theme of the routine is dancing on the water, he thought they should go DIVING WITH SHARKS. So they go off to Sea Life Blackpool to dance underwater in a cage, an experience which neither one of them seems to be finding particularly beneficial but hey, at least they got a free jolly out of it.

They're dancing to 'River' by Bishop Briggs (no, me neither), and I think this is very much a backslide for Lauren, unfortunately. The basics of the routine are quite nice, but it's stuttery rather than staccato, and the lifts are pretty terrible - I think she's really struggling to direct her legs so everything looks a bit shapeless. And every time that the movement has to come from her hips rather than from her feet, it all just feels quite loose. It's not a disaster, but it's definitely not up to the standard of last week. [Why are they giving AT to all the medium-level dancers this series instead of the ringers? - Rad]

Bruno tells her that it was like watching "a little girl growing up in front of your eyes, and now look at you!" Lauren Steadman is twenty-five years old, by the way. He loved the determination and the intent, and there were some nice lines and shapes, but it lacked a bit of intimacy and fluidity. He then doubles-down on the horrible patronising by saying it's a very grown-up dance and it's very difficult to portray, just stopping short of adding "little missy" on the end. Craig felt like Lauren was getting stuck between each step, and it needed to flow more than that - she needs to think about being looser in her legs, and she was shortening all of her long lines. He thinks it was stompy, and "in another three weeks you'll get it." Ooof. That's unnecessarily harsh. Darcey says it did look challenging, and Lauren was so focused on the technique that they were missing the chemistry and passion in the narrative. She wants to see purpose! And delivery! Shirley finishes by saying she appreciated the complexity of the number, but the mood was a bit samey - but she loves Lauren's determination and she knows she'll be back next week and giving it 100 per cent.

They hot-foot it to the Claudicornerum, and Claudia says that everyone in her area was vehemently disagreeing with the judges throughout those comments. Lauren says she found it very difficult, and she thought the complexity of all of it was mind-blowing. And she had two days out this week to do a triathlon, so maybe a silly VT going diving in an aquarium wasn't the best use of the time that she did have, just a thought. AJ says it was an ambitious routine and she was fantastic. Scores: Craig 5, Darcey 6, Shirley 7, Bruno 7 for a total of 25. There's a nice bit of business where Claudia tells us that Kate's dance features a balloon, and warns her that there's a storm forecast - Kate whispers that it's not a real balloon, and Claudia replies that it's okay because she's not a real meteorologist. Heh. On that note: get Tomasz Schafernaker to do the terms and conditions next week!

Graeme and Oti are our third couple to perform this week, and they've got a couple's choice routine this week so prepare yourself for extreme incoming earnestness. In his VT, Graeme says that he loves musicals, and he's very excited that for their theatre-jazz routine, they're being assisted by the Olivier award-winning choreographer Bill Deamer. That's enough about the dancing, now let's squeeze some tears! Graeme says that he went to his first ever cricket game at the tender age of three weeks - his dad was a brilliant cricketer, good enough to be a professional, but he couldn't afford to be. His older brother played cricket to a very high standard, and Graeme credits him with making him as good as he is today, because of all the practice they got in the back garden. Graeme reels off his list of cricketing credits, which I assume is impressive but I don't know enough about cricket to say that with certainty, and he says he still gets goosebumps thinking about that time he beat Australia at Lord's. Graeme then discusses his departure from organised cricket in 2013 after developing an issue with his right elbow, adding that he still can't feel his right hand so well, and says that what he really misses is the buzz and excitement of a match - but doing Strictly has helped him to find that again. The best thing about it all has been his kids' reaction each week, and he wants this routine to be amazing for them.

They're dancing to 'The Trolley Song' from Meet Me In St. Louis. Graeme makes quite a credible hoofer, and there's a lot of umbrella work in the routine that he handles well, even if it is a little laborious when you see how light Oti makes it look. It's a good choice of routine for him anyway - it fits him better than contempowaft or street-commercial was ever going to, and maybe he'll even get to play Billy Flynn off the back of it, who knows? [I thought it was OK but a bit dull and unambitious - needed more variation - Rad]

Graeme tells Tess that that was the most fun he's ever had in 90 seconds, and Tess adds that it was the first ever couple's choice to be held at Blackpool. I'm also kind of hoping it'll be the last, but hey. Craig says he can't see Graeme having a career in musical theatre - while he thought the character-driven aspect of it was well done, he doesn't think Graeme led the dance at all - his lines were very naive, and by that Craig means "childlike". Crikey. But he loves that Graeme tells the story and really commits to the story every week. Darcey says she completely believed in him, and while there were moments where he could have been stronger and sharper with his lines, she thought his timing was immaculate and he danced from the first beat to the very last. Shirley says that he really tugged at her heartstrings, and she enjoyed every minute of what he did. She was also impressed with his "periphial" vision, and the way he held his own when he was away from Oti and with the back-up dancers. Bruno thinks that the West End will be calling for Graeme after this and that the characters were excellent - it was "Dick van Dyke-y" (lol), "My Fair Lady" and a mish-mash of West End musicals but he showed real stagecraft and has improved so much.

Back in the Claudicornerum, Graeme tells Claudia that he's been smiling ever since 9am on Monday, and Oti says that she's had the best week ever too, because they've worked hard and they've had fun. Scores: Craig 7, Darcey 8, Shirley 8, Bruno 9 for a total of 32 - Graeme's highest score so far.

Next up are Faye and Giovanni, with a paso doble in Blackpool, which I feel ought to be a genre in its own right by this point? In her VT, Faye says that everyone was excited backstage last week, and she was over the moon with the feedback she got for her jive. Faye exposes the holes in her Strictly superfan status by asking Giovanni that if he's the matador, does that make her the bull? (She is the cape!) Giovanni swishes around with a cape tied around his waist to show Faye what she's supposed to be doing, and I'm sort of into it? Don't question me. Faye asks Giovanni what to do to impress the judges, and he says basically "massively ham it up, because it's Blackpool". We see them rehearsing it in the studio, with Stacey and Kevin watching them while eating toast: Stacey declares that she loves Blackpool, she loves toast, and she loves Faye Tozer. But which one does she love best? There's only one way to find out: FIIIIIIIGHT!

Oh, perhaps not. Instead we're going to see Faye's paso, danced to 'Unstoppable', aka the intro music from The X Factor. Giovanni is wearing a see-through mesh shirt and paso trousers that practically come up to his nipples, for those of you who like that sort of thing. There's some fire-play to get things going with, and then Faye and Giovanni go straight into the business of the paso, and this is a much better stylistic fit for Faye than the jive was last week. She's mostly got the imperiousness down, her movements are quick and sharp, and her lines nice and clean. I love a Blackpool paso, and this is definitely worthy of admission to the canon.

Darcey tells Faye that she has beautiful, strong delivery and dramatic attack, but she kept the femininity to it, which isn't easy. She felt there were a few moments where Faye found it difficult to maintain, but she did well being passed around by every man (madam). Shirley says it was musically powerful, choreographically powerful, and she kept in character from start to finish - she loved it. Bruno says the dynamics of the dance were superb, and he calls her a "paso dominatrix". Blimey. Craig loved the drama and the theatre and aggression - it was brilliant.

Claudia tells Faye that she was watching Faye's parents, Dorothy and Angus, who must have been thinking "our little girl seems so angry!" (There's a lot of infantilising of the women going on tonight, isn't there?) Faye says she really enjoyed it, and she really had to put a lot of trust in the other dancers that they would be there to catch her when she couldn't see them. Scores: Craig 9, Darcey 9, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 38.

There's no halfway leaderboard tonight because we're down to eight couples, so after a quick preview of the dances yet to come this evening, we go straight to Kate and Aljaž with their American smooth. But first: Tess asks Claudia if she's enjoying Blackpool so far, and Claudia says that she is, apart from the fact that at 1am this morning, Dave Arch wouldn't stop banging on her bedroom door. Tess asks her what she did, and Claudia replies that she didn't have any choice - in the end, she had to let him out. Ba-dum-tish! (Which is the noise Dave Arch made when he finally escaped and subsequently fell down the stairs in panic.)

In their VT, Kate and Aljaž reflect on getting good feedback for their marriage-themed quickstep this week, and now they're hoping for a honeymoon in Blackpool. This week they've got a foxtrot-led American smooth, which they will begin by floating down in a hot air balloon shaped like a heart. Aljaž says that they have lifts this week, which they haven't done since their Argentine tango (a whole two weeks ago!). Kate adds that they haven't done many lifts in the competition at all so far, and Aljaž says that at this stage of the competition they really need to be improving on posture every week as well. To test Kate's fear of heights, Aljaž takes Kate up the tower to hoist a Strictly flag from the very top. Except it's too windy for them to go all the way up, so they get a professional in. Is there a metaphor here somewhere?

They're dancing to 'Everlasting Love', and I think Aljaž may have spent a little too long drilling Kate on her posture because she's working so hard to push her neck and her head back that she looks quite stiff, and it's created some gapping between them again. There's a lovely softness and elegance to a lot of the routine, but the lifts do look quite laboured, and I suspect that's at least in part because Kate's rib hasn't fully healed yet. Kate comes alive a bit more at the end, and I'm definitely left with a warm fuzzy feeling in terms of the atmosphere created by the dance, I'm just not so sure that the dancing itself moved me quite so much, if that makes sense. Aljaž looks lovely in pink, though. [Also the rib support gave her horrible back rolls, and it was a little distracting - Rad]

Shirley calls her "Kate the consistent" and says that she brings impeccable timing to the ballroom, but she'd like her to take a bit of a chance with some striding and really open those legs out. (Oo-er.) Bruno says he feels like he's still on honeymoon and basking in the afterglow - he thinks the foxtrot elements were very hard and Kate was particularly good in hold. Craig thought it lacked some energy at the beginning, and the lifts were a little graceless going in and out, but he loved the choreography and the concept and the way Kate is growing as a dancer. Darcey finishes by calling classy and sustained, but warns Kate against grabbing Aljaž in the lifts.

In the Claudicornerum, Kate is overwhelmed with the Blackpool-ness of it all, and gives a special shout out to her children Clemency(!) and Wilbur(!!), saying that Mummy misses them very much. Scores: Craig 7, Darcey 7, Shirley 8, Bruno 8 for a total of 30. Tess tells us that soon Ashley will be dancing in the Vegas of the North, and asks her if Vegas is referred to as "the Blackpool of the West" in America. Surprisingly, it is not.

Charles and Karen are next, and Tess points out that Charles has gone from surviving three dance-offs to being third on the leaderboard last week, so if anyone deserves to dance in Blackpool, it's him. I'm not entirely sure that "the viewers don't really care about him and he would've been gone weeks ago if it weren't for the judges" makes the best case for Charles deserving to still be here, but your mileage may vary I suppose. In his VT, Charles says that his Chuckyston played out like a movie, and Karen adds that she thinks all of the dance-offs have just made them stronger. Strike him down now, and he will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine! This week they've got the samba, which is very technical, but also a feelgood dance! (Tell that to Susannah.) Charles says it reminds him of his mother dancing to a certain style of Nigerian music. Heh. To pay tribute to the emotional rollercoaster that they have experienced in the competition so far, Karen sends Charles on a rollercoaster. By himself. Oh come on, at least throw a little challenge in there - give him a cup of tea and tell him not to spill any of it!

Their samba has a male strip club pool party theme, and is being danced to 'La Bamba'. Also, it opens with Charles trying to grab Johannes's arse, which I'm not not into. This is a surprisingly good routine from Charles - it's fun and it really fills the space, but he also dances it well - occasionally his free arm doesn't quite go all the way into the line, and sometimes he thrusts his hips a little too far out of orbit, but other than that, it's really enjoyable and makes me really glad he got this far in the first place. [Yeah, I enjoyed it, too.  And it's good to see Karen having some memorable routines for a change - Rad]

A load of paper string goes off at the end and Charles and Karen make their way over to Tess completely entangled in it, Karen in particular, and they have to spend a few seconds sorting themselves out. After a reference to Bruno's Speedos that I'm not going to transcribe because I don't think you deserve such trauma, Bruno says that Charles was indistinguishable from the professionals and made it look easy. Craig said it reminded him of his own pool parties in Hampshire, and that he didn't really notice the footwork because he was too distracted by the "plethora of abdominals", but he really liked what he saw. Darcey liked that he wasn't forcing the technique, and the body was undulating. There's a large crash from somewhere offstage at this point, and Darcey shrieks. I do not know what the cause of it was, but I'm just going to assume it was the Ghost of Bruno Falling Off His Chairs Past. Shirley finishes by saying that she's all hot and bothered, and Charles owned it - it was so real she felt like she was in Brazil. Charles runs up to the stage to give her a hug, and Bruno a high-ten.

Charles and Karen scoot over to the Claudicornerum where everyone is in a celebratory mood, and Charles says that something in his body just obviously agreed with that dance. I think something in Craig's body also agreed w[YES THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH OF THAT THANK YOU]. He says he felt empowered by being here with all the extra dancers, and this was everything he dreamed of in his bedroom as a kid. Scores: Craig 9, Darcey 9, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 38. Both of them go absolutely off at the 10s. Claudia tells them they're joint top of the leaderboard, and Karen bursts into tears. As my husband pointed out, this is the first time she's had any 10s at all, and while I'm not Karen's biggest fan, on this occasion I think they were richly deserved. [Honestly, I think they deserved one or two for their street contemporary as well - Rad]

In the penultimate slot tonight are Joe and Dianne, and Tess is in the audience with Joe's oft-invoked Nana Phyllis, who has had a sneak peek at their routine and thinks it's very good. In his VT, Joe says that he just wanted to get to Blackpool since the beginning, and Dianne reveals that they'll be doing a quickstep and using the whole floor, and Joe says he feels like they're two dragonflies dancing around a pond, which he admits is a weird analogy. Also, they're going to be dancing on a piano on the floor. We see Joe in the studio rehearsal with Nana Phyllis watching, and he tells her that he went a bit wrong in that one and she's all "yes, you did, I saw that". Hee. Phyllis says that she's very proud of Joe. But has she liked and/or subscribed, that's the question.

They're dancing to 'Dancin' Fool', and it opens with Joe doing a grand introduction in a broad American accent for some reason. Dianne was not kidding about them using the floor to its fullest because they really do cover a lot of ground here, and for the most part I think Joe does well - his frame has really come on, and his footwork seems pretty accurate. To be honest, it's more from the neck up that I have a problem - the suaveness of the whole routine is undermined by the fact that he looks fairly panicked throughout it, which just takes the edge off for me. Also I think there are a few points where it just lacks the energy that I want from a quickstep, and the charleston section in the middle is far too flaily for my taste. But it's another strong showing from him, all the same.

Joe and Dianne make their way over to Tess and Joe, of course, immediately asks his nan if that was all right. She gives him a wave of approval. Craig tells him that he needs to broaden his lines out of hold, and take a bit more ownership of the space - but in hold, he's a real dark horse. Darcey calls it a grand performance, effortless and light with images of Fred Astaire throughout. Is she judging a dance or doing a wine-tasting? Shirley tells him that he did Nana Phyllis proud, and even though the music was a tad slow, he stayed entirely within it. Bruno calls it "pure Hollywood", and applauds him for his synchronicity when dancing alongside two professional couples.

In the Claudicornerum, Joe says that he's really fallen for ballroom and he just wants to go to waltz parties now. Claudia asks Dianne if it's true that Joe watched every video of every quickstep ever on Strictly to prepare, and of course it's not, because you can't even find clips of half of them. Still, Dianne says he's very dedicated. Scores: Craig 8, Darcey 10, Shirley 10, Bruno 10 for a total of 38. Joe and Dianne get a little bit teary too. It's a full box of Kleenex of a night, isn't it?

Rounding the whole show off, we have Ashley and Pasha, in the pimp slot for the second time. (Point of interest: Ashley and Charles have closed the show twice, while Graeme and Kate haven't done it at all yet. Switch it up please, producers.) Their jive is set in a fish-and-chip shop, which is a bit of an odd juxtaposition with Ashley in her VT talking about how important it was to her to express her life experience through a deep-and-meaningful contempowaft last week. Pasha takes Ashley to a fish-and-chip shop for some hands-on experience, and Ashley likes the "Dick Tracy meets chef" outfit that they're given to wear. They do a little dance for the customers, who applaud even though their chips are getting cold.

So yes, their dance is set in a chipperie called "Pashley's Plaice", and Ashley actually jives to 'Shake Your Tail Feather' while holding a plate of fish 'n' chips. That is some next-level ringeration in here, I take my hat off to her. In fact the whole thing is a ridiculous show of "look what Ashley can do", including whirling around in circles holding her arms out helicopter-style while remaining linked with Pasha, and jiving on a table while the back-up dances rip off the tablecloth. It's completely flawless, Pasha's ugly apron notwithstanding. [It was insane and I loved it, despite being kind of over jives always getting praised to the hilt - Rad]

Darcey calls it "fast" and "fantastic" - she saw Ashley literally floating on her kick-ball-changes, apparently. Shirley says the whole thing was on-form and fantastic. Bruno declares there was "nothing fishy about that one", and then invokes St Jill's Holy Jive - he thinks this performance will become a piece of Strictly history just like that. Craig? Fab-yew-lous, so I think we all know what's coming...

In the Claudicornerum, Ashley says she was just trying to channel the energy in the room. Scores: 10s all round for a perfect 40, of course.

Time for that leaderboard - all on one screen for the first time this series!

1. Ashley & Pasha - 40
2=. Faye & Giovanni - 38
2=. Charles & Karen - 38
2=. Joe & Dianne - 38
5. Stacey & Kevin - 33
6. Graeme & Oti - 32
7. Kate & Aljaž - 30
8. Lauren & AJ - 25

So, a tricky three-way tie for second place there, and Lauren at the bottom for the first time. Quick recap: Stacey and Kevin ideally needing ooh ahh...a little bit more, Lauren's floppy Argentine tango, Future West End Leading Man Graeme Swann, Faye discovering that it's Time! To Face! The Music!, Kate and Aljaž having an everlasting quickstep, the Chucky Venice Samba Experience, Joe and Dianne dancing like fools, and Ashley doing a jive just for the halibut.

So that's it! One couple will be leaving in the results show, where we will also be joined by Take That. I might take that opportunity to make a cup of tea, to be honest.

4 comments:

Penny said...

I noticed Oti made a small error with her umbrella - and then they showed that bit in the recap at the end!

Loved your opening paragraph - just as well we weren't playing the Blackpool drinking game.

Steven said...

I think if I had been, the recap would have been unintelligible after about the tenth paragraph...

F a t i m a said...

Tomasz Schafernaker is on my dream list of attainable Strictly contestants. Along with Omid Djalili and Harry Aikines-Aryeetey.

Steven said...

I had to google that last one but yes, absolutely.