Saturday 17 November 2018

This week on It Takes Two, we have learnt...

- Danny "has decided" not to turn up for his exit interview, lol oops.
- Amy's happiest memories of this series are getting the first 10 of the series, and getting her first 10.
- People are always asking Dianne what it's like to dance with Joe.
- Kate is encouraging Graeme to get his kit off as much as possible.
- The warm-up dude has started actively trolling The X Factor by saying "Your Saturday night starts right here!"
- Joe's Saturday make-up looks even worse in close-up.
- We've apparently run out of ex-pros with free diary slots to do Choreography Corner, so we're onto this series' eliminees. What have Neil, Luba and Johannes got to do to get a break?
- Katya danced with Mikey Graham on the Children in Need Boyzone special.
- Gapping happens when you don't drive from the bottom,.apparently.
- Katya saying 'catch her' makes me chuckle.
- It's a flippin' nightmare to teach a celebrity to do any turns, according to Katya.
- Katya has decided hankies are the key to Charles getting good scores.
- Giovanni makes a lot of funny noises when he's drilling Faye (fnar).
- Faye had to have her hips taped up last week, and had heat and cold pads stuffed down her pants.
- Giovanni only realised she was actually in pain during the dress rehearsal.
- Faye and Giovanni were more shocked by a Craig 9 than a Bruno 10 for that jive. Me too.
- Faye is doing a paso doble at BLACKPOOL to the intro music from The X Factor.
- Lauren's opinion of ballroom has gone from 'slow and boring' to 'graceful and meaningful'.
- Lauren might now like dancing more than athletics. Might.
- Lauren doesn't always do what AJ tells her without question any more.
- The show thinks they should call AJ 'Mystic AJ' because his grubbing for scores keeps working.  I guess it's politer than 'Entitled AJ'.
- AJ likes having athletes as partners because he can work them for longer.  Ooh err missus etc.
- Approximately 10 minutes and 56 seconds of Tuesday's show were wasted on Jeremy fucking Vine talking shite about a load of incorrect "stats". Never let this happen again.
- Gina G's real name is Gina Mary Gardiner.
- Lauren doesn't know what the 'mashed potato' is.
- Graeme's salsa was the worst 90 seconds of this series for him because his mic pack fell out of his shorts. It was the worst 90 seconds of the series for us too, for different reasons.
- Oti thinks treadmills have never been used before on this show.  Lucky for her that she was able to erase the memory of last year's Remembrance routine from her brain, because we haven't been able to.
- Graeme thinks that the problem with his salsa was that it was popular among people too young to vote. A bit like staying in the EU.
- Zoe really likes 'The Trolley Song' (quite right too, it's a banger).
- Graeme and Oti are doing a 'theatre/jazz' couple's choice on Saturday.
- Oti thinks musical theatre will show Craig the serious side of Graeme (?!).
- Graeme has lost two-and-a-half stone since starting the show.
- Aljaž's mic pack picked up him cheering Kate through their quickstep.
- Aljaž wants to marry all of us.
- Charles does a chicken dance before the show to get his nerves under control. Bet it's not as good as Shirley's.
- Aljaž thought that the chorus to 'Everlasting Love' went "open up your arms".
- Kate giggles every time Aljaž lifts her.
- The prop dancers are back back back for Black Black Blackpool.
- Faye's paso training looks a bit mimsy, probably not helped by the bright pink net rehearsal skirt.
- Not content with 'club 30', the show's trying to make 'club 35' a thing.
- Karen's tip not to lose your focus before performing is to pretend you're watching everyone else dance but actually cross your eyes instead.
- Karen thinks she looked like Flavia in that wig. Oh, honey.
- Charles thinks he might have a chance of making the finals.  Ohhhh, honey.
- Karen likes 'rock candy'.  But not enough to realise the 'candy' is superfluous.
- Karen had to massively streamline her samba choreography 'so Charles will enjoy it'.
- Graeme likes that musical theatre 'isn't technical'.  Tell that to Craig if you drop your prop.
- Kevin thinks he's never felt so much like he was dancing with a pro on six years of Strictly as when he danced with Stacey in her waltz. That's quite the burn on Karen.
- Stacey doesn't know what 'pushing the envelope' means.
- Anton said 'Good job, Luton' to Stacey after her waltz.
- Stacey is having big curly hair for Blackpool.
- Ashley and Pasha are quite the fans of a loud print.
- Pasha isn't sure if Craig likes people who breathe or likes people who don't breathe.
- Zoe is comparing Ashley to Alexandra. Presumably as two pop-star ringers who haven't a hope in hell of winning?
- Ashley's jive will be set in a chip shop.
- Pasha thinks Giovanni is the biggest gossip remaining in the competition.
- Pasha has never had a pickled egg.
- Even Ian struggles to tell the samba and the salsa apart.
- Umbrella-ography is not easy.
- The theme of this weekend's pro dance is "are you lookin at my bird?"
- Dianne is wearing the first feathered dress of the series on Saturday.
- Stacey doesn't like too much colour in her costumes but Vicky Gill's ignoring that for Blackpool and putting her in bright red.
- Joe is haunted by samba rhythms even now it's over.
- Joe still gets excited by learning what his costume will be each week.  Even after some of the things they've stuck him in this series.
- Zoe loves a one man band.
- Joe thinks the quickstep feels like "a waltz top and a charleston bottom".
- Joe has been spending his lunch breaks looking at everyone else's quicksteps on YouTube.
- Joe wants to go to a waltz party.
- Basil Brush's face is in the Blackpool Illuminations.
- This week's Friday panel are Basil Brush, Jamie Cullum, Alexandra Burke and whatever a Rob Deering is.
- Basil's favourite dance is the foxtrot, obviously.
- Alexandra thinks Blackpool is very disorienting when you're used to Elstree.
- Having run out of relevant pop acts, Children in Need have resorted to Jamie Cullum for their charity single this year.
- Rob Deering thinks it's a good idea to joke about gnawing off his own fist in a series with a contestant with only one hand.
- Putting Debbie McGee in a list of Blackpool failures is incredibly harsh.
- According to Gethin, Stacey will be "literally" flying around in her dance so that's something.
- Stacey loves Faye's dad, Angus.
- Ashley didn't know riding a donkey was a thing but she has now been to a fish and chip shop.
- Lauren and AJ went swimming with sharks and sea turtles this week for VT purposes (I assume).
- Friday's audience includes some of the most awkward-on-camera people this side of a week 16 elimination interview.
- Apparently someone asked for an Anton Du Beke retrospective. Jan Ravens and Laila Rouass were airbrushed out, wonder why.
- Anton forgot a whole section of his salsa with Anne Widdecombe. (We may have learned this at the time but it's been long bleached from our brains).
- Alexandra Burke loves games.
- Boyzone are dancing the American Smooth for Children in Need.
- Charles is really happy that he's now the oldest contestant. (Even though Kate is.)
- Joe seems to have stolen Stacey's ugly brown hoodie.  Or else has one just like it.
- Joe tested out the famous Blackpool bouncy floor and didn't find it much different, which he puts down to being so light.
- Ashley wants to twerk but doesn't know if it's allowed in jive.
- Each couple gets 25 minutes to rehearse on a Friday.
- Nancy was not supposed to take that feather boa off the chaise longue all the way back in series 9.
- Anton is apparently back next year, in case you were expecting that retrospective to be the precursor to a big announcement.
- Graeme was worried about going out last week and having to pay tribute to what a wonderful partner Oti is while dressed like a total pranny.
- Kate did go in the sea.  For about a second.
- Alexandra would have done contemporary for couple's choice, as she did it at GCSE (boo, ringer etc).
- Basil Brush thinks Joe is 'the youngest' and '23' but seems to have mixed him up with Lauren.
- Basil, Jamie and Alexandra think Graeme is going, Rob thinks Kate.
- All Saints are back together and clearly super happy about it.
- They perhaps should not have sung live.
- One of the Appletons kind of looks like Linn from Ace Of Base now.

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